The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[icanseeclearlynow]

Today is a new day

Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this forum today. Had a horrible breakup. Got dumped by someone who is 8 years younger than me. Should have seen it coming. He came to visit me to have sex "one last time" Then told me it was over and that he needed someone younger :cuss: Well, I owe him 1500 dollars. And he has agreed to let me pay him back in payments..so I have to stay in contact with him somewhat. I unfriended on fb, call blocked via verizon and removed from skype contacts. I need to try to block on skype. This is going to be a challenge, but it is a start. At least now that I have call blocked him, everytime the phone rings or a text comes in I wont think its him. Time to start getting busy and enjoying life everyone. Have a great Thursday.

 

[TeamBp]

Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this forum today. Had a horrible breakup. Got dumped by someone who is 8 years younger than me. Should have seen it coming. He came to visit me to have sex "one last time" Then told me it was over and that he needed someone younger :cuss: Well, I owe him 1500 dollars. And he has agreed to let me pay him back in payments..so I have to stay in contact with him somewhat. I unfriended on fb, call blocked via verizon and removed from skype contacts. I need to try to block on skype. This is going to be a challenge, but it is a start. At least now that I have call blocked him, everytime the phone rings or a text comes in I wont think its him. Time to start getting busy and enjoying life everyone. Have a great Thursday.

Welcome, it sucks you owe him money. My ex owed money to the apartments for me leaving the lease, and canceling on another apartment I just forked it over to speed things up. Stay strong and focus on things you like to do.

 

[TeamBp]

Dude if he knew she was with you i would monkey stomp his ****i** brains out on general princepal. Now if he didnot know thats a diffrent story. If you go to the party and he makes bold open moves on her i.e. kissing touching etc and hes directing them at you to try and rub it in your face rip his head off and shi* down his throat. I had a guy do that to me once and i tried being nice. I was in high scholl then "military school" and was home on leave. I was nice abt it but he kept on so i walked up to him and asked him to stop. he did what every beta does got in my face and acted like he was going to kiss me soi head butted him and broke his nose. Pulled my **** out and pisse* on him. then looked at my cheating ***** then back at the ******* on the ground kicked him once and walked away. Just dont break anybodys nose.

Day 11 'I accidentally miscalculated our last conversation was on the 5th"


Ya he totally knew we were friends. I think there's trouble in paradise right now. I'm a man, as much as I would like to snap his head off and **** down his throat I have to remain cool.

I made my fair share of mistakes during the 2 year relationship so this is karma biting me in the ass. The first 6 months of our relationship were rough I put her through a lot while she tried to tame me. She stuck with me for 2 years and she made me a man, and I appreciate that, but who she has become is not someone I can deal with, and I won't be her backup plan.

 

[L_T_D313]

Day 11 'I accidentally miscalculated our last conversation was on the 5th"


Ya he totally knew we were friends. I think there's trouble in paradise right now. I'm a man, as much as I would like to snap his head off and **** down his throat I have to remain cool.

I made my fair share of mistakes during the 2 year relationship so this is karma biting me in the ass. The first 6 months of our relationship were rough I put her through a lot while she tried to tame me. She stuck with me for 2 years and she made me a man, and I appreciate that, but who she has become is not someone I can deal with, and I won't be her backup plan.

Exactly, fighting over her would be the ultimate ego boost. Just show no emotion and go after chicks there. Fucck em both it's her loss.

 

[Placidd]

day 5 of nc

Things are getting a little better. I asked around on other forums and they say to move on so I dont get my hopes up, because no one knows if she will regain interest. my birthday was on the 8th, and I had a small get together during which we took a lot of pictures and had tons of fun.

wednesday afternoon my friend who took the pictures uploaded them onto facebook, and before I could look at them, my ex had already 'liked' some of the pictures; only two of them, and the rest were with a pretty girl I was camera-whoring with.

upon hearing that, my friends got kind of pissed because they think she is being kind of nosy. I dont know what to think, honestly. and some other people on another forum say that its good she is doing that because she might gain interest again after time passes, and after she realizes Im having fun 'moving on' and not having her in the picture of my life. that and seeing how fast im 'bouncing back' from the rejection, like i dont give a f*ck about it haha.

Im still trying to move on with the objective of meeting someone else who will make me happy, but I get sidetracked by thinking that I should move on to lose feelings for her and then come back because of the oneitis. bad for me because ultimately that goal is still centered around her. thats my toughest battle now, just moving on to someone else WITHOUT looking to come back. if I come back, I come back. If I dont, I dont! que sera, sera.

 

[karan.sharma124]

To the whole "No Contact" scenario:
It's been about two weeks, as soon as I got dumped I initiated "NO CONTACT". She asked about being friends cause' it was too hard for both of us to leg go but I declined.
We had been together past 3-3.5 years and the reason for going different ways were that the "love feeling" towards me had drained out in her. She wants me in her life but as a platonic companion. We've been in a physical relationship but past one year she had derailed my every want and need (sexual). I don't know why it happened.
Since my grandmother is sick and suffering from a deadly disease, she had texted me to enquire about her two days back, I plainly replied that she is unwell and won't live for long.
She reponded by saying and I quote "Oh, I'M REALLY SORRY FOR ALL THAT YOUR GOING THROUGH,IT WILL BE FINE, YOU HAVE ALWAYS MY PRAYERS AND BEST WISHES. I REALLY PRAY THAT YOUR GRANDMOM GETS WELL AND OKAY. I MEAN IT. I did not reply to this cause of my "no contact" pledge.
I loved her alot and I still do. It feels that I am devastated and there is a choking feeling in my neck when I think about her. I've cried once but eventually helped myself coming out of the crying part.
We both used to talk on whatsapp, and if a person uses "WHATSAPP" to text/chat, we can see the last time that person was online and keeping a check on you/opening your profile/just seeing when you were last online. She's being doing that and even I, I think I'm violating "NO CONTACT"? cause everytime I open Whatsapp to talk to a friend I check when was she last online and even she does that cause I can see when she was last online. She's online every half an hour.
An alternate theory to this could be that she might be talking to some other guy who has replaced me or cause of whom I GOT DUMPED.

 

[L_T_D313]

Day 38 (had days mixed up)

Thought about the girl kinda miss her. Strange thing is I never have the urge to contact. It's always just the flooding of memories. She hasn't initiated contact since feb 11.

So I assume she's doing better without a brother. I wish I could say the same, but hey my family is with me and I have my health, so I guess I can say life is good. I just wish the dame would have dated him in the first place instead of me. I wouldn't have to randomly get hit with rushes of sadness.

To top it all of none of these love songs hit the mark anymore due to the constant replaying. Shiiit sucks, but it does get better. Especially if you have other women. Few weeks ago I made a page on a dating site. Got a few numbers/nudes/plans to fucccck. I've since deleted it, I felt like it was purely out of boredom, desperation, and me trying to fill a void.

Just keep pushing brothers. There will be days where you're over it all, and days where the pain is almost unbearable. Eventually you realize she is one out of billions of women. Nothing special just another female.

 

[Swampcamel]

Pearl S Buck said, "Love dies only when growth stops."

Adequate insight toward most all love-drained relationships that move into LJBF territory. You both want to hold out hope that there is more growth to be had, but you really can't grow further without separation. You'll feel it every time you hang out on a "friends" basis, it's still drained, you're not really helping each other, you're not really having fun like you used to, there's no light at the end of this tunnel.

Realize that your growth isn't dependent on her existence. She is not your water, your light, your nutrition. Find the things to feed yourself that you know will keep you rising higher, and people, not just women, will want to latch on to you on your way up. Love from others is not the prerequisite for your growth, it is an effect that comes out as people watch you grow. Work on your growth, not on capturing love. It'll find you on its own if you do this.

 

[Bling]

about to have my 10 year reunion as a sosuave viewer...


...still can get dumped. she moved away from school three hours away. three months into long distance after a year and a half, it's over. there were times I thought I'd marry her. we were on a three week break where there was suppose to be no contact. LOL. like that happened.

today starts day 1. not sure if you guys still use this terminology, but I'm a RAFC. time to get back to the game I suppose.

 

[icanseeclearlynow]

Welcome, it sucks you owe him money. My ex owed money to the apartments for me leaving the lease, and canceling on another apartment I just forked it over to speed things up. Stay strong and focus on things you like to do.

Thanks teambp. I wanted to call sooooooo bad last night..and even today on my way home from a date. Bad/Old habits are so hard to break. I unblocked his number today because I started to think, when if he contacts me about money..and sure enough he sent me a text this morning about some bagels..I just deleted it. This is officially day 3 of no contact. It is so hard. I don't know why. But I can not undue three days worth of no contact. I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to be in a pseudo relationship with this guy for a year. Why do men do this? Or I guess I should say boys...but then again, I guess I answered my own question. He is 25 and I am 33. We were in the same boring city for a year..and then he relocated to NY. I figure he started seeing all of the hot beautiful young women that were available and had to kick the cougar to the curb. Lesson learned. No more guys who are more than 3...4 the max years younger than me. I have been keeping busy going of plenty of fish dates...even if I don't like the guy. It helps keep my mind busy..even if temporary. Made it through another day. I am thinking of just starting to keep myself super busy. And yeah, I am gonna pay douche off quick so I don't even have to talk to him. I am thinking if he does call to continue to ignore..if its about the money he can always text or email. I really am developing a strong dislike for him and disgust..yet miss the good times.

 

[icanseeclearlynow]

Pearl S Buck said, "Love dies only when growth stops."

Adequate insight toward most all love-drained relationships that move into LJBF territory. You both want to hold out hope that there is more growth to be had, but you really can't grow further without separation. You'll feel it every time you hang out on a "friends" basis, it's still drained, you're not really helping each other, you're not really having fun like you used to, there's no light at the end of this tunnel.

Realize that your growth isn't dependent on her existence. She is not your water, your light, your nutrition. Find the things to feed yourself that you know will keep you rising higher, and people, not just women, will want to latch on to you on your way up. Love from others is not the prerequisite for your growth, it is an effect that comes out as people watch you grow. Work on your growth, not on capturing love. It'll find you on its own if you do this.

good post.

 

[JohnChops]

o today my ex (who i still got oneitis for) called me over in school and said "hi". I said "hello" and walked away.

Just now she sent me a text saying : "Soo real talk, why didnt you wanna talk to me today?"

What to i reply to this?
Do i even respond?
Today is her birthday, do i tell her happy birthday?

Sorry for the rookie question ya'll !

say nothing youngmack.

 

[L_T_D313]

o today my ex (who i still got oneitis for) called me over in school and said "hi". I said "hello" and walked away.

Just now she sent me a text saying : "Soo real talk, why didnt you wanna talk to me today?"

What to i reply to this?
Do i even respond?
Today is her birthday, do i tell her happy birthday?

Sorry for the rookie question ya'll !

I've been through it G. It's eating her up if it wasn't she would not have texted you. Keep it pushing, and NO eff the broad and her *****hh ass birthday. Straight like that show no love to these women, they'll love you more. Show affection and they do you wrong.

 

[icanseeclearlynow]

I've been through it G. It's eating her up if it wasn't she would not have texted you. Keep it pushing, and NO eff the broad and her *****hh ass birthday. Straight like that show no love to these women, they'll love you more. Show affection and they do you wrong.

Thats not true with all of us. I am just saying lol. The more love I show..the more distant guys act. When I act uninterested..its like they like the challenge.

 

[Vidrio]

Thats not true with all of us. I am just saying lol. The more love I show..the more distant guys act. When I act uninterested..its like they like the challenge.

That's only because they have low interest. If a man has high interest, he'll love it when a woman contacts him.

 

[Placidd]

*Day 6 of NC*

Still feeling a little down but I'm making it. one of my friends told me not to worry about her at all, and she said that I should ice her from my life and two or three months from now she will be back. It surprised me to hear that but hearing a girl say that there isnt much I can say is wrong because they all think alike.

I dont want to talk to my ex until I feel better, but as for my agreeing to be friends with her, how do I go about that? If I dont talk to her she will assume I still need space. I want to tell her that its either date me or leave me alone, but at the time I just wanted her to be in my life or at least on good terms.

I would be breaking NC if I told her "eff this friendship" (figuratively), am I right?

 

[Myself23]

I might have a problem. About 2 weeks ago I put nc in with my ex which is having problems but whatever. The main point is I think I have feelings for my friend but she's my best friend and my exs too

 

[icanseeclearlynow]

That's only because they have low interest. If a man has high interest, he'll love it when a woman contacts him.

Wow..thanks so much for that. It's knowing little things like that, that will save me time, by knowing to move on if a guy starts to pull that crap.

 

[Vidrio]

*Day 6 of NC*

I would be breaking NC if I told her "eff this friendship" (figuratively), am I right?

Yes. Don't contact her in anyway. Delete her number and delete her on FB. If she somehow gets into contact with you. Don't respond.

 

[Purefilth]

Wow..thanks so much for that. It's knowing little things like that, that will save me time, by knowing to move on if a guy starts to pull that crap.

Thats not entirely true.

Busy guys can take time to reply. EVERYONE her is encouraged to be busy. And to be indifferent.

The indifference is key to see if the other party is attracted but also to protect your heart. Stay indifferent and dont get emotionally attached/ invested.

They will initiate contact as a display of interest.

No initiation / No counteroffers = no interest.