narcissist
Master Don Juan
Day 16
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
all that will do is validate her. Telling her off tells her she is under your skin
Sorry but the best thing to seriously do is walk away.
Girl I was dating started ignoring my texts, so I deleted her from social media. No fight, no nothing, just deleted. Got blocked for my troubles.lol
Too funny. What did she expect? You to just sit on the shelf waiting?
bcude
Master Don Juan
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This is a major win. Low IL woman, you saved yourself alot of your most precious commodity - time. Well done.
Day 9.
So she came round 9 days ago, I don't know what I expected but she returned some things...
I kept it light and eventually We kissed, she laid on me for a cuddle and I guess it stirred my feelings....
We had sex quite a few times, she kept calling me baby as she did before... And again in the morning...
2 days later she is saying she wanted to be on her own at the moment...
Now I am dealing with the initial aspect of the second break plus her walking back in and then leaving when she wanted to.. I allowed it..
So yeah, I know you guys says 1 chance is enough but I guess I held hope..
Funny things is I had done so well and she even said that she admired me for not responding to her initially...
So here I go again on my own... To quote a great song...
So she came round 9 days ago, I don't know what I expected but she returned some things...
I kept it light and eventually We kissed, she laid on me for a cuddle and I guess it stirred my feelings....
We had sex quite a few times, she kept calling me baby as she did before... And again in the morning...
2 days later she is saying she wanted to be on her own at the moment...
Now I am dealing with the initial aspect of the second break plus her walking back in and then leaving when she wanted to.. I allowed it..
So yeah, I know you guys says 1 chance is enough but I guess I held hope..
Funny things is I had done so well and she even said that she admired me for not responding to her initially...
So here I go again on my own... To quote a great song...
See comments in bold. Dude, i know you had hope and she knew it and counted on it. She used you. This right here is why i say One chance per lifetime
When they get one chance you aren't stuck on their string.
Dude99 mauser96,
Thanks for your thoughts... I know you guys are 100% right... Wise words and as always they are appreciated.
I removed her from all my media long ago and deleted her number, but her message caught me of guard and I let her in...
Hope is a bit of an ass kicker..
I have been dating, she even said she had seen me on tinder...
I do have 3/4 plates at the moment... One is completely stunning and she let me tie her up on Saturday night ha ha.. I digress..
But, as Jesse The Body once said, the son of a b!tch is dug in like an Alabama tick..
But only because I let her be...
Thanks for your thoughts... I know you guys are 100% right... Wise words and as always they are appreciated.
I removed her from all my media long ago and deleted her number, but her message caught me of guard and I let her in...
Hope is a bit of an ass kicker..
I have been dating, she even said she had seen me on tinder...
I do have 3/4 plates at the moment... One is completely stunning and she let me tie her up on Saturday night ha ha.. I digress..
But, as Jesse The Body once said, the son of a b!tch is dug in like an Alabama tick..
But only because I let her be...
Yes hope can be cruel and so can the woman dangling it in front of you.
Lessons are there to be learned. Hopefully you remember this lesson the next time she needs validation. Next time she reaches out, you ignore and delete. Should she happen to call or be face to face, follow the advice i gave a few posts back , be busy no to meeting no telling them how you are or anything going on in your life and 3 minutes only then you have to go.
It's a strange concept to understand that someone will use the person they professed to love...
As an aside...
I have been getting random WhatsApps from men for the past 3 weeks or so... 3 in total.
It maybe a coincidence but I think it's her.
One even tried calling me a week or so ago.
I have no proof and she brushed it off when I mentioned it to her but one week exactly to the evening we slept together I get another... Wtf???
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It is strange yes that she would profess to love you then sleep with you then realize she needed to be pn her own, here is what happened.
You were no contact. Her hamster wheel was spinning. She was worrying where she stood. She was unsure. She showed up you two kissed snuggled and sechsed. Then she felt better passing all that anxiety on to you, and she left. she was validated. Her ego soothed. She moved on
Remember you were thinking with logic. 1 plus 1 is 2. If put my hand on a burning stove i will get burnt. Love is professed, therefore there is a second chance. This makes sence.
She thinks with emotions. Emotions are all over the place. Logic be dammed. One plus one equals potato. The opposite of up is salad. I am panicking because i dont know where i stand anymore with Henbogen. Oh he effed me. I can have him anytime. My ego is now fine. Next......
What you needed to do was thank her for dropping your stuff off then tell her you are busy you got to get busy for your date then close the door.
Leave her hamster wheel spinning.
As for the black dudes.....that is weird. Just block them if they are bothering you.
bcude
Master Don Juan
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One thing i've noticed in breakups is that the woman sometimes overtly professes her love, not uncommonly for the first time during that relationship, just before she breaks up with you. My father once said it's a breakup gift and i think there is some truth to that.
They're have already been thinking about leaving for some time, feel bad and want to "be nice" or whatever to make it seem everything is great. Just speculation though.
It never makes sense and i've seen it alot.
They're have already been thinking about leaving for some time, feel bad and want to "be nice" or whatever to make it seem everything is great. Just speculation though.
It never makes sense and i've seen it alot.
It is the sugar they sprinkle on the S#!t sandwich to ease their guilt. When they do break up with you yes they have planned this for a long time already and
90 % of the time it is because they have already started then next relationship
But if they profess love........then they aren't the bad person right???
Women will never accept responsibility for the failure of the relationship even when they are 100% responsible.
bcude
Master Don Juan
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Yeah, important to look good in front of your girlfriends. The same sh1t with this false olive branch of friendship they offer as they break up.
Look like a kindhearted saint offering friendship as they end the relationship and then put social pressure on the guy making him the bad guy for declining her "nice" attempt to be friends.
"Ah, but atleast you did the right thing Lisa!! He certainly wasn't good for you and his true colours are coming out now... what a douche"
goodbyehorses
Don Juan
Day 35.
Not halfway, because I am taking the challenge for 90 days at least.
Her birthday has passed and she didn't hear anything from me. I'm keeping very busy these days, with some anxiety and cheesy thoughts to face, but staying strong.
Tomorrow I'm going out with the friend of her I like, we will have lunch and spend the afternoon together in another town.
I am trying to get some other plates, not easy for my demisexuality but I'm making experiments.
She is watching me on social media more often these days..., but I won't reciprocate.
I think what dude99 says it's sound and good advice, but I admit that if she would ever prove to me (with actions not just words of course) that she is sorry for her mistakes and willing to cope, I would give her another chance. I'm not healed yet I know. And I know this won't happen, at least not soon, so I hope NC will do its job.
Not halfway, because I am taking the challenge for 90 days at least.
Her birthday has passed and she didn't hear anything from me. I'm keeping very busy these days, with some anxiety and cheesy thoughts to face, but staying strong.
Tomorrow I'm going out with the friend of her I like, we will have lunch and spend the afternoon together in another town.
I am trying to get some other plates, not easy for my demisexuality but I'm making experiments.
She is watching me on social media more often these days..., but I won't reciprocate.
I think what dude99 says it's sound and good advice, but I admit that if she would ever prove to me (with actions not just words of course) that she is sorry for her mistakes and willing to cope, I would give her another chance. I'm not healed yet I know. And I know this won't happen, at least not soon, so I hope NC will do its job.
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Don De Grey
Don Juan
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Day 4
It was all just a game to get me to talk to her. I called her Tuesday morning, we went and had lunch. Asked her about the photo change and the post.
She made up bull**** stories on both, normally she is very straight forward and looks you in the eye while talking. She couldn’t look me in the eye when she answered both questions
Later that night I sent her a goodbye text, asked her not to contact me anymoretold her I had already removed her from FB, IG and I was blocking her phone number as soon as I sent the text.
I heard from a co worker that she was really quiet and withdrawn Wednesday. Thursday I noticed that she had blocked me on FB, checked IG and she blocked me there too. It gave me a little satisfaction.
narcissist
Master Don Juan
Day 18
I had one block me on Facebook after I deleted them. She probably used that as the entire excuse why the relationship ended but honestly it was over a month before that. Each week it was something new that I was doing or not doing that was making her mad and everything was my fault, me deleting her was just the ammo she needed to put all the blame on me and act like that was the sole reason the thing ended. No, it got to that point because of all the bs leading up to me deleting her. I even called her out on her behavior but she never would respond to that, she kept focusing on the Facebook deleting lol
bcude
Master Don Juan
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Ego protection and sounds very emotionally immature. She will look for confirmation she did the right thing to end it everywhere and in everything you do, but with time emotions will disappear and she will look at everything more rational. That's around the time when they unblock you and come sniffing around again.
I under stand my advice is very binary but ultimately it works best because girls do want to play less games knowing you will cut bait and walk away. They have to be pretty low quality to still try to pull crap after knowing you won't put up with it. But if you still have it in your heart to give another chance (i think that is just teaching her to treat you bad, but that is just my opinion,) Do not even consider giving her another chance until you have fully healed. No matter what her blah blah blah says no matter what her actions show, matter what happens, heal first.
Then and only then make her work for it and prove herself. If not you are setting yourself up again for hurt.