The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Genos]

Almost six 6 weeks of NC...I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...

A couple weeks ago, I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). Today, I gave into temptation again, and I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>

Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile"), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment).

Oh god, I feel like such a creep/stalker...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that, but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.

Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?

 

[No.Danny]

Almost six 6 weeks of NC...I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...

A couple weeks ago, I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). Today, I gave into temptation again, and I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>

Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile"), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment).

Oh god, I feel like such a creep/stalker...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that, but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.

Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?

Fight through. I'm sure what you've gone through sucks right now. But keep your head up. Stop stalking this girl. It's only hindering your progress. Get yourself out there, take up an activity to get your mind of in free time. And remember we're here for you

 

[christoff522]

Almost six 6 weeks of NC...I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...

A couple weeks ago, I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). Today, I gave into temptation again, and I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>

Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile"), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment).

Oh god, I feel like such a creep/stalker...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that, but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.

Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?

Nah, unless you're the only guy on earth viewing her profile, she's probably done it for other reasons. And viewing the profile of someone you loved/cared about/went out with is not stalking, stop feeling ashamed for nothing.

 

[Colette]

Almost six 6 weeks of NC...I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...

A couple weeks ago, I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). Today, I gave into temptation again, and I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>

Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile"), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment).

Oh god, I feel like such a creep/stalker...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that, but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.

Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?

I don't think what you did was such a big deal. you viewed her profile so what ?? you didn't go by her place and peeped at her through the window for god sake , don't call yourself a stalker because you are not . If someone is creep it`s her for overreacting and blocking you like that .

 

[Cerwin Vega]

With every day passing, I'm starting to feel more and more anxiety towards the ex;

It got to a point where I am TERRIFIED I will meet her or stumble upon her somewhere, as if I'm irrationally scared of her for some reason.
Even hearing her name (which is the first name of a very famous beer) raises my adrenaline to a point where my heart misses a few beats which is both painful and unhealthy...

I try to avoid going to places where there's a high risk of meeting her there. Last week for example I went to a bar and saw someone who looked exactly like her sitting alone with some dude, I almost got a heart attack until I confirmed it's not her.

I also get this feeling of disgust if I meet someone new and find out he/she knows the ex in some way.

Does anyone experience something similar?

 

[MattTheW]

Day 14 NC

Friend of mine sends me a screen shot of an absurd post my Ex made on facebook b/c she thought that I would find it funny.. Granted the post was stupid I didn't find it funny... It kinda hurt some. Of course my friend has no idea about NC or anything, she thought I would get a laugh out of it so I just shrugged it off and didn't wanna make her feel bad, she meant well.

Hurting isn't a terrible feeling to have, but eventually you will get to complete indifference, sometimes friends trip us up or put stupid ideas in our heads, its just because they aren't in the situation.....

I'm not starting NC over b/c it wasn't an act of my will to seek this out.. I think she could tell I didn't find it funny and that it bothered me some and doubt she will send anything like that again.

If need be, you can clarify with them that you don't want to see this stuff, but shrug it off a bit rather than showing that it bothered you - like I'm not bothered what she posts, so don't waste my time with it......

It's true though about your Ex changing into someone completely different.. I had experienced this some already but even more so now... She really does become someone different in the same body and the woman you once loved is long gone... Almost like someone Evil has taken over...

The rose tinted glasses eventually fall off fella
Just hold onto that and don't crave that distorted memory of her that was in your head where she was all the good things and none of the bad

Anyways, I'm FORCING myself to get out of the house tonight and meet some ppl... I failed at every attempt last week to do this... BLAH!

Good - get out and have some fun.....

 

[MattTheW]

Almost six 6 weeks of NC...I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...

A couple weeks ago, I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). Today, I gave into temptation again, and I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>

Ask yourself - why are you looking?! Seriously, what do you get from it?
What did you honestly expect to come from it - that she'd see you looking and think "oooh, he still wants me", and jump back into your arms??

I was doing the same, kept calling someone, then put myself through this, asking myself - what was I getting from this? Was it gonna lead to anything, and when I realised no, I stopped the calling

If she's blocked you, then you have your answer, she doesn't want you looking, and she's now done you a favour by removing the temptation.....

I fear that you are clinging to your memories of her, the perfect her, not the real her......you need to try and let go of the "perfect" version of her that you crave - that person does not and has not ever existed......you have to LET GO.....

Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile"), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment).

Don't think about it - there's no point.
You used to look at her profile - now you cant
Don't over analyse the how's what's and whys - just accept it and move on

Oh god, I feel like such a creep/stalker...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that, but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.

As I said before don't analyse, the reasons or the reaction - and don't think about what she thinks of you

It's done now - move on, don't dwell

Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?

Everyone has lapses (this seems more habitual from what you said at the start), just chalk it up to stupidity

And when you get in a similar situation again, think back to this, think about what you "gained" from what happened here (I'll give you a Clue - NOTHING)

Don't think about what she thinks of you - it serves you no purpose what so ever, just get on with your life

I would suggest if you have other means of contacting her (social networky stuff), you may want to consider removing it as the temptation may be too great for you.....

And lastly DONT BREAK NC - if you do you just give all power back to her, you will gain nothing from it, you will just feel worse afterwards

Onwards and upwards fella

 

[MattTheW]

With every day passing, I'm starting to feel more and more anxiety towards the ex;

It got to a point where I am TERRIFIED I will meet her or stumble upon her somewhere, as if I'm irrationally scared of her for some reason.
Even hearing her name (which is the first name of a very famous beer) raises my adrenaline to a point where my heart misses a few beats which is both painful and unhealthy...

Fear and terror are emotions that you need to confront, they are irrational emotions......
You need to desensitize yourself to her....to do this you need to push yourself to face your "fears"
You have to hear her name, as you say, it's a famous beer......so you should be able to hear it a lot, eventually you'll get over it

I was in a similar situation (you'll probably laugh) but I cheated on an ex whilst she was away in Italy.....the girl I cheated on her with was called Rose, so then I found I couldn't watch Doctor Who because at the time his sidekick was called Rose (played by Billie Piper)......it took a while for me to get over that, but I did, by pushing myself to face the problem not shy away.....if you shy away, it will get worse

I try to avoid going to places where there's a high risk of meeting her there. Last week for example I went to a bar and saw someone who looked exactly like her sitting alone with some dude, I almost got a heart attack until I confirmed it's not her.

If you start living your life thinking - "I cant go there in case she;s there" eventually you wont leave your house.....
What difference does it make if she is there? Seriously, you don't have to talk to her, you don't have to give a sh1t what she does (or if she approaches you ) what she says

And if she gets funny with you and tries to cause a scene - don't get drawn in, just walk away

The worst thing you can do right now is stopping yourself from going places just because she might be there

I also get this feeling of disgust if I meet someone new and find out he/she knows the ex in some way.

Does anyone experience something similar?

Cant say I've experienced that, try and get past it if you can, afterall, you know her as well - would you expect someone to be disgusted at you for knowing them (or if someone you met found out that you knew their ex)
Just ensure you don't talk about her with them, and just enjoy being out and meeting people.....the fact that they know her should not stir these feelings

I mean, if you're best friend knew her whilst you were together would you have these feelings when speaking to them now that you split up?

 

[StuffofLegends]

@MattTheW thanks, man. Appreciate it!

@CerinVega I chose to quit shopping at a place of business I loved but my Ex worked there and the guy she branch swung with. I go some where else similar now that also is more convenient for me now too. Friends/MGMT from the other place want me to come back and say they will set my Ex and dudes schedule up to where they won't be there when I'm coming but I just can't live my life like that.. I would never get free from her if I had to constantly check on what days she's working and stuff lol. So I just said thanks but it's not necessary.

I felt that was a wise decision that I had a choice in to not visit some where I went weekly and would see her. If I really wanted to shop there for something though I would still go randomly just not weekly where I know my Ex will be. Now we can't help if we run into them some place unknowingly.. In that case we just have to walk tall and ignore them. If they come at us our response is indifference and keep it moving!

 

[Genos]

I fear that you are clinging to your memories of her, the perfect her, not the real her......you need to try and let go of the "perfect" version of her that you crave - that person does not and has not ever existed......you have to LET GO.....

This is absolutely the reason...I see pictures of her, or read about her, and I jump into a fantasy world in my head...I really needed to hear this...You're also absolutely right that it was habitual. I definitely viewed her profile online several times...not gonna do that anymore.

Fight through. I'm sure what you've gone through sucks right now. But keep your head up. Stop stalking this girl. It's only hindering your progress. Get yourself out there, take up an activity to get your mind of in free time. And remember we're here for you

Nah, unless you're the only guy on earth viewing her profile, she's probably done it for other reasons. And viewing the profile of someone you loved/cared about/went out with is not stalking, stop feeling ashamed for nothing.

I don't think what you did was such a big deal. you viewed her profile so what ?? you didn't go by her place and peeped at her through the window for god sake , don't call yourself a stalker because you are not . If someone is creep it`s her for overreacting and blocking you like that .

Guys, thanks for the support...I felt like utter crud yesterday night, almost as though I was one of those super sketchy guys that girls call restraining orders on...Still down, but I'm feeling a little bit better now.

Don't think about it - there's no point.
You used to look at her profile - now you cant
Don't over analyse the how's what's and whys - just accept it and move on

As I said before don't analyse, the reasons or the reaction - and don't think about what she thinks of you

It's done now - move on, don't dwell

Don't think about what she thinks of you - it serves you no purpose what so ever, just get on with your life

Matt your words helped a lot, I'm working on moving on now...I initially didn't know that people are able to know when their profile is seen, so it wasn't my intention to let her know I was still thinking about her...but that may have been what happened, if she guessed it was me. I don't really know when she blocked me (or if she did), or what the circumstances were, but as you say, I shouldn't be worrying about it.

Your message about over-analyzing is definitely something I have a problem with. It's really tough, because I have all these gray and murky emotions left over, coming from questions left unanswered and lingering regrets hanging around (and a negative view of myself, for fear of possibly being one of those 'stalking guys' that she believes deserves to be blocked). Add in a compulsiveness to look over my actions, and figure out what went wrong and why she did this, and it's been tough...but I'll try to move on.

 

[StuffofLegends]

Day 15 NC

Proud of myself for making it this far! I have to say this has been the easiest day since the break up.. Don't know why??? Maybe I'm finally healing?! Hope it lasts

 

[No.Danny]

Day 2.
I'm great. No urge to contact, not that I believe I will ever have it. This is not difficult for me at all. I know what to expect from girls. She hasn't tried to contact me & I thank her for that

 

[Rave18]

Weak moment - Vent

[ Was checking my Facebook account and accidently saw my ex's profile pic. She looked sooooooooooooooooooo sweet (similar to this) :crazy: and that thick head of hair :trouble: (she reminds me of my ex) Got carried away and sent her an e-mail, instead of pouring my feelings over here

Her image is still in my head... :flowers: (She carries herself so well )

Can't focus, my brain has stopped working and am feeling extremely weak as my will power seems to have deserted me completely. I want her back ] -> Misplaced affection

 

[MattTheW]

[ Was checking my Facebook account and accidently saw my ex's profile pic. She looked sooooooooooooooooooo sweet (similar to this) :crazy: and that thick head of hair :trouble: (she reminds me of my ex) Got carried away and sent her an e-mail, instead of pouring my feelings over here

Her image is still in my head... :flowers: (She carries herself so well )

Can't focus, my brain has stopped working and am feeling extremely weak as my will power seems to have deserted me completely. I want her back ] -> Misplaced affection

What day of NC were you on?

 

[Rave18]

What day of NC were you on?

Actually it has been years since I spoke with her.

When I went complete NC right after I broke up with her, she would call me loads of times. It has stopped now. My last e-mail was around three months back. Currently, she never replies/shows any sort of interest. Never apologized for her mistakes.

Had blocked her on FB, but unblocked her cause I thought things might be ok and I won't feel so strongly for her > Turns out I was wrong. Deleted my FB.
-
Just found this and IMO is a must read > http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=209121

 

[ovoxo]

You be curving me, I can't wait to ****in leave

 

[No.Danny]

Day 3. Feeling good as ever. Waiting patiently for school to start!!

 

[Uncharted]

Day 1 on my recent ex. Not a single fvck will be given. Got a group of friends to help me through. This works guys so keep it going... It's worked great for previous exes. Actually got an email from a different ex yesterday and immediately deleted it. Don't let them get to you.

 

[Lion1985]

Day 115

Day 115 of No Contact.

Im eventually over her.
It took nearly 4 months to get over this "relationship" of 3 months.
Maybe because it was the hottest girl I ever dated, a realistic 8/10

A face of an angel, but innerly she was the opposite of it.
Im not saying it was only her guilt, hell no! Of course I was also guilty.

But she was on SSRi´S (Antidepressant), and there were red flags already which I igonored.

I not regret this relationship, quite the opposite!, Im thankful for this experience, I would never be this person I am today without it!

I found this forum, I found MGTOW, I swallowed the red pill.

No hate, no revenge, the great feeling of Indifference Inside me.

Hail No Contact!

 

[No.Danny]

^ proud of you buddy. Fight through