The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MattTheW]

So we met online, her (23) me (31) around March this year. Things were progressing well but sensed she was hesitant to commit. Problems started when her ex (a guy she dated for 3 months and found out he cheated on her while she was with me) started texting and snapchatting her. This dude is 22 and lives at home and the reason they broke up was because he wouldn't grow up.

To make a long story short, she started acting distant a month ago and then sends me a long winded message on fb about how she still has feelings for the guy. So i wished her luck and haven't talked to her since. Currently on day 21 of NC.

Perfect, she was still into him, you stopped the inevitable, branch swing from you or her hitting you both up without you knowing......
You did the right thing going NC....

And then 2 nights ago i get a notification from snapchat that she's added me as a friend (we were friends already). So i checked and seems like she deleted then added then deleted me again. I still haven't said a word to her, we are still friends on FB but i rarely use it so i don't go on there much.

What gives here, i am just trying to do the best i can for myself by working out and meeting new people. She could easily have unfollowed me on instagram and deleted me from snapchat the same day she dumped me but why wait to do it 3 weeks later?

Attention seeking, she's trying to reel you back in a bit, pay no attention to it, if she really wanted to sort things out she'd actually try making contact...

Don't break the NC (I get the feeling you wont anyway), carry on as normal fella, you're already on the right track here. If she does bother to contact you (which I doubt she will) then reassess, but for now, I would view this as an attempt at an ego boost, dangling the bait to get you thinking about her......

 

[SoSuave666]

Day 6. NC is kinda fun. I always get motivated by rejection, or someone telling me I can't do/have something. If I ever see her again--which I do not plan on--her head is gonna spin so fast she won't know left from right or anal sex from a kick in the a$$.

Just a word for all you other gentlemen. Take whatever anger you have, whatever resentment you hold toward your ex and turn it into something positive. All the attention you would put toward getting her back or even just remaining NC, put that attention toward bettering yourself. You will be that much more confident when you find your next gf.

Edit**

Here are some of my favorite quotes from her during our breakup. Maybe you'll get a laugh out of some of them:

1.) You aren't emotional enough for me. I needed a man to make me feel loved.
2.) We never made love. You just fvcked me.
3.) I could go the rest of my life not having secks with the right man
4.) I love you
5.) You are a remarkable man
6.) You comforted me when I needed it (contradiction to #1)
7.) You made me feel like a woman
8.) You never made me feel like a woman
9.) Every time she cried during the break up

 

[Sardines]

Day 6.
Edit**

Here are some of my favorite quotes from her during our breakup. Maybe you'll get a laugh out of some of them:

1.) You aren't emotional enough for me. I needed a man to make me feel loved.
2.) We never made love. You just fvcked me.
3.) I could go the rest of my life not having secks with the right man
4.) I love you
5.) You are a remarkable man
6.) You comforted me when I needed it (contradiction to #1)
7.) You made me feel like a woman
8.) You never made me feel like a woman
9.) Every time she cried during the break up

I was told, "you'll do great things in the future", "maybe if we had met at another time", "i just don't realise how much i still care about him: the ex", "i'm sure i'll miss you"

 

[Sardines]

@MattTheW...

Thanks for the reply. That's what most of my friends said too.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

@SoSuave666
It seems like these quotes are becoming extremely popular since the "it's not you, it's me" one has been worn out.

-"You won't care if we break up"
-"You never really loved me"
-"You don't behave like a real man around me"

When we last spoke, I asked her what does she mean when she says that, here's her response:
"My new boyfriend spend on me more money in 1 month than you spent on me in 4 years"
I didn't argue with her about it because it's pointless, but actually:
-Her new boytoy is a doctor, while I'm a soldier. He ears ~60$ daily while I earn 120$ EACH MONTH (yes, 1 2 0 $!)
-Throughout 4 years, each birthday I spent at least 150-200$ on her birthday gift. On her last birthday I bought her a 350$ gold watch.
-I pay for my own phone bills (~25$/mo), smartphone (~200$ off ebay), computer (770$ off ebay), hobbies (audio is an expensive hobby), food, supplements, I funded my own driving lessons and tests (~1500$).
-She lives with her parents, they pay for everything - bought her a car, paid for insurance, paid for her driving lessons and tests, bought her a 650$ smartphone, a new computer, and on top of that, she earns 300$ monthly (x2.5 more than I make)
-She never "fully" paid for a dinner at a restaurant. Since the beginning it was 60% me, 40% her, on the final year it became 100% me 0% her

I know I cut corners here and there and it makes me seem cheap like a motherf*cker but it's MY F*CKING MONEY and I don't even make enough for myself so what the f*ck is up with the stupid @ss argument????

----------------

Anyway,
My back is much better. I can now walk without assistance but I'm still far away from working out and going out.

I'm almost positive she saw me at the hospital two days ago since I was walking through the hospital at a 1km/hour pace with people helping me walk.
I didn't want her to contact me since I really have nothing to say to her but her lack of concern shows what type of sh!tty human being she really is; On second thought, if I knew she were in a car accident, would I come visit her? Probably not, I guess it's fair then.

It's been 3.5 months since the breakup. Injuring my back threw me a flight of stairs back, but I'm still motivated to go on with my life.

My recovery is outstanding, even though it involved a steroid injection and tons of pain meds.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Here are the best ones:

"You'll never meet someone like me"
"No girl will stand the bullsh!t you put me through"

And here's the last one she told me:
"You started treating me nicely too late"
NO B1TCH, I BECAME BETA AT THE END, THAT'S WHY YOU DUMPED ME.

 

[Sardines]

Today marks exactly 3 weeks since i got canned and decided to do NC. Some days are good some are bad, especially since i didn't see it coming. She kept telling me how she missed me two days before going AWOL the next day and delivering the news on Wednesday.

It's not easy doing NC but everytime i think i'm wavering i think of all her flaws and i head straight to YouTube to watch one of my favorite scenes from the Godfather.

Johnny Fontaine comes crying to the Godfather about how he can't get a part in the new Woltz movie, the godfather's response "You can act like a man!"

It's not easy but hang i there guys each day gets better than the previous one.

 

[latebloomer1984]

Back to day 1... fkd up and responded to contact. Honestly feel worse than I did just after it happened.

Mainly because I am angry at myself, shes a cvnt I knew that and still responded she drew me in and spat me out in little over a few hours her ego is through the roof now! Haha
Fk revenge, fk getting even, fk contact to try make her feel bad and communicate your life Is better now... my main aim is to move on, move up and develop myself. Not for her in any way, not to make her jealous, to have her think about me.

From here on out its about me, my life and what im going to do with it. I control my sh1t not her so shaking it off and on my way to the gym.

Just got to remember it my life no one elses and my happiness doesnt depend on anyone or anything else but me.

Well done to guys 5+ days in keep it up dont waiver it is literally the worst thing you could do, trust!

Onwards and upwards... up some fresh trim...

Rant done.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

@latebloomer mind elaborating?

 

[StuffofLegends]

@CerwinVega hope your back continues to heal along with your heart man.

Day 13 NC

Still have mixed emotions.. Sometimes I feel sick to my stomach that shes no longer in my life and then later I'll feel fine and that she doesn't even bother me anymore...

I find the strength to move on when I think that whatever issues we had she didn't even bother to try to discuss them or work them out.. She just left and went straight to someone else... I may not have been perfect, who is? But I was 100% faithful and loyal the whole 3 yrs. and was a great man to her whether she realizes it or not! Life is still good and I'm marching on!!

 

[Sardines]

Day 21 of NC.

I just got 3 text messages from her today, any thoughts gents?

1. "hey so... i hope everything is good with you. i just have something i need to get off my chest that has been really been bothering me for a while."

2. "i thought that when we stopped talking it would go away but it hasn't"

I still haven't responded.

3. "guess that's a no...well...hope all is well..."

 

[Lotus Effect]

You still haven't responded...
AND YOU WILL NOT RESPOND!!!

For f*ck sake man!!!

Even though you may be dying inside to answer her!

DON'T DO IT!!!

If this thing that is bothering her so much is REALLY bothering her, it will driver her insane!

She is the one who asked for it, let she feel the weight of her choices.

Believe me, I've posted this 2 or 3 pages ago. It is a post from the user culebra23. Go back and read it!

The minute you answer her, is the minute she will have her emotion fix. Why will she bother on beg for your attention, call you, come at your house, if she can get her fix via text!

Don't be this guy. She wanted it?! Now she is having it!!

For real. Believe me. And go read that post!

 

[Sardines]

@Lotus

Thanks for that kick up my behind, i needed it. I have since deleted the text so i am not tempted to even respond.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Another T-Up for DO NOT RESPOND.

If she really wants to meet you, she knows where to find you; Otherwise, she's only baiting you to feed her ego.

 

[No.Danny]

Day 1. Just got friend-zoned by a girl I "talked" to for like 4 months. One of her friends kissed her and she ENJOYED it and even thanked him. It hurts but not because of the rejection just what happened. And not her either just the way things turned out. She says she saw me as a "bestfriend" even more then her real one and that I actually listened. It's funny, now I can learn from this. Funny how this girl is probably a 5 on a A great day! While realistically I am. an 8-8.5 considering I'm a basketball star & she's just turning 15 while I'm 17. Even though I suck at taking pictures, in real life I'm handsome. But that's not the point. I went against every DJ principle I live by with this one, I deserved it. I laugh now at how stupid I've been with her.... God!!
No contact will not be a problem since I have a really big ego and I'm getting at 3 other girls natural 6-7.5. I ****ed up so bad this girl said I'm "not her type, I'm too nice and sweet" which I'm really an ******* but with this girl I acted like a total *****!! This situation puts me at blame but her also. I thank the Lord for letting me see what type of girl she is, making the weeding out process easier. Blocked her from social media and didn't reply to her last message. Deleted them. She tried to keep me as one of her beta orbiter's but I told her I feed no ones ego but my own. I'll update myself every Friday I suppose.
Can't believe how beta I was but I've surely noticed. And it was only with her! I promise she'll try to contract me but I have too many things going on with basketball. Plus school starts Monday. Replacing won't be a problem

 

[MattTheW]

Day 1. Just got friend-zoned by a girl I "talked" to for like 4 months. One of her friends kissed her and she ENJOYED it and even thanked him. It hurts but not because of the rejection just what happened. And not her either just the way things turned out. She says she saw me as a "bestfriend" even more then her real one and that I actually listened. It's funny, now I can learn from this. Funny how this girl is probably a 5 on a A great day! While realistically I am. an 8-8.5 considering I'm a basketball star & she's just turning 15 while I'm 17. Even though I suck at taking pictures, in real life I'm handsome. But that's not the point. I went against every DJ principle I live by with this one, I deserved it. I laugh now at how stupid I've been with her.... God!!

She probably zoned you a hell of a long time before that kiss fella......4 months of just talking is a good way to get you there (I realise your age will preclude you from certain things that this forum would usually advocate)

Don't you just love that "bestfriend" bullsh1t!!
Just what we're always looking for right, that new "asexual bestfriend" to add to our collection of friends.......

You're pretty young, so don't take this too hardly fella.....chalk it up to experience and move on - just learn from your mistakes

No contact will not be a problem since I have a really big ego and I'm getting at 3 other girls natural 6-7.5. I ****ed up so bad this girl said I'm "not her type, I'm too nice and sweet" which I'm really an ******* but with this girl I acted like a total *****!! This situation puts me at blame but her also. I thank the Lord for letting me see what type of girl she is, making the weeding out process easier. Blocked her from social media and didn't reply to her last message. Deleted them. She tried to keep me as one of her beta orbiter's but I told her I feed no ones ego but my own. I'll update myself every Friday I suppose.

Top man, you're doing all the right things, concentrate on yourself, get some more "women" on the go and remove all contact

Like the way you directly told her that you wont be feeding her ego - can see you going far

Can't believe how beta I was but I've surely noticed. And it was only with her! I promise she'll try to contract me but I have too many things going on with basketball. Plus school starts Monday. Replacing won't be a problem

Don't beat yourself up too much, at least you can see where you went wrong - I know guys who cant see it or don't want to and then wonder why it keeps happening.......

For someone of such young age you seem to be on the right track from the off - keep it up fella, if you falter, you know where we are

 

[MattTheW]

Day 21 of NC.

I just got 3 text messages from her today, any thoughts gents?

1. "hey so... i hope everything is good with you. i just have something i need to get off my chest that has been really been bothering me for a while."

2. "i thought that when we stopped talking it would go away but it hasn't"

I still haven't responded.

3. "guess that's a no...well...hope all is well..."

My thought is delete them and don't put any thought into them

She's dangling again, 3 messages where 1 would have sufficed, or, if she really wanted to tell you something she could have called you or met you face to face

Bullsh1t ego bollox again fella - stay strong, delete the messages and go on about your business
All that she is trying to do is justify the sh1t......

Update:
Just seen you deleted the text already - good man, keep it up

 

[No.Danny]

She probably zoned you a hell of a long time before that kiss fella......4 months of just talking is a good way to get you there (I realise your age will preclude you from certain things that this forum would usually advocate)

Don't you just love that "bestfriend" bullsh1t!!
Just what we're always looking for right, that new "asexual bestfriend" to add to our collection of friends.......

You're pretty young, so don't take this too hardly fella.....chalk it up to experience and move on - just learn from your mistakes


Top man, you're doing all the right things, concentrate on yourself, get some more "women" on the go and remove all contact

Like the way you directly told her that you wont be feeding her ego - can see you going far



Don't beat yourself up too much, at least you can see where you went wrong - I know guys who cant see it or don't want to and then wonder why it keeps happening.......

For someone of such young age you seem to be on the right track from the off - keep it up fella, if you falter, you know where we are

Really valid points and very true. I beat myself up but not because of what she did or said. I beat myself because I SAW THE SIGNS, NOTICED AND IGNORED. I gave her so many chances it's not even funny. But you can't succeed with all of them. She tried to keep me so hard as her best friend. But I really don't have time for this type of crap and made it very clear I would not beg, pressure or pursuade anything. She got her chances. Won't get another

 

[SoSuave666]

Day 8. Feelin' ok.

 

[StuffofLegends]

Day 14 NC

Friend of mine sends me a screen shot of an absurd post my Ex made on facebook b/c she thought that I would find it funny.. Granted the post was stupid I didn't find it funny... It kinda hurt some. Of course my friend has no idea about NC or anything, she thought I would get a laugh out of it so I just shrugged it off and didn't wanna make her feel bad, she meant well. I'm not starting NC over b/c it wasn't an act of my will to seek this out.. I think she could tell I didn't find it funny and that it bothered me some and doubt she will send anything like that again.

It's true though about your Ex changing into someone completely different.. I had experienced this some already but even more so now... She really does become someone different in the same body and the woman you once loved is long gone... Almost like someone Evil has taken over...

Anyways, I'm FORCING myself to get out of the house tonight and meet some ppl... I failed at every attempt last week to do this... BLAH!