The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Bryce556]

so i told her today i did not want her to contact me, and she tried ratanalizing the fact that shes sleeping with my best friend and putting it on me. she acted like that was fine with her and she was only offering being friends and pretending to miss me cause she thought it would be better for me and help me get through it. now i feel worse, she made me feel like it was all my fault. heres what i said this is over the phone.

" friends isent an option, i dont want you to contact me again, and i would like you to respect that. dont contact me unless its an emergancy or you want to give "us" another try" then her saying how she thought she did everything right and was inexperinced. etc. and i said goodbye. then i hear her telling her friend in the background how weird that was before she hung up....

i wish id never met this girl, i had it going good before and she ****ed my entire game and life up for me.

 

[Angelus]

Day 8

Bryce: Yeah, that's some low quality stuff there. Just forget about her, she's making you feel bad about yourself and second guessing yourself. No need to keep that around. Are you keeping any of your mates around that bring you down? Didn't think so. Then why should an ex get a better treatment?

Fingerling: Sounds like you're in pretty hard weather there. How the heck do you keep running into her? I would suggest hanging more with your mates and cut the contact you have with her friends. Explain this to one of your mates if you have to, you can tell him you need some help getting over her and would appreciate his assistance.

As for me... well, as mentioned earlier we're both part of some extracurricular activities so I was doomed to meet with her sooner or later. Anyways, today we had our first meeting and as we were wrapping it up the NC-girl chipped in with a "Ok, I'll talk with you guys later I've got a date now, so I can't run late. So keep me informed."

Just... wow. I would accept this kind of behaviour from most people, but after 8 days of NC it's pretty obvious she's trying to tick off a few of my nerves. So... I'm wondering what to do if she pulls something like that in the future and/or drags this dude who she's now dating into the study-groups.

On one hand, bringing up the issue will most likely signal to her that her behaviour and teasing is bothering me.

On the other hand, if she keeps this up it's a total lack of respect both towards our "friendship" and to the study-group. So we'll see how this develops.

Apart from this little incident, things are doing good. Got the phonenumber of a nice HB7 today who I'll give a call later this week, and a day 1 - date with another girl this Thursday.

 

[vitaminenergy]

give "us" another try"

i think you should send her bunch of flowers. she'll probably give it another shot then.

 

[JCballin88]

Well guys, I'm starting to wonder what is really going on with this girl I was talking to long-distance. If you read my earlier post, she has pretty much stopped initiating any contact with me after 2-3 weeks of calling/texting every day.

Tomorrow is my birthday, which I'm fairly sure she's aware of. If she doesn't call me or text me or something, that will probably be a decent indicator of non-interest.

Here's my question. Should I call her one more time to try to understand what is going on and why she pretty much broke off regular contact? I mean she didn't formally "dump" me or anything, so I have no clue where we stand. The important factor here is that I was going to plan a 3-day weekend around visiting her in a couple weeks, but obviously if she doesn't want to see me, I won't be needing to go. Any thoughts?

 

[Bryce556]

DAY 1, everything went good, not talking to her anymore, until she showed up at a dance thing i volunteer at with her new FB my ex bestfriend/wing. i coldent leave cause i volenteer, i just ignored then and they stayed the entire night. good thing their was lots of other people their and other attreactive girls occupied myself with, my gameing dident go so well felt kind of forced and awkward and i think most of the girls got that vibe, the ones that were good friend with me knew what was going on though. why would she even show up!, she wasent obligated to come, i had to be their. I just put on a smile all night and tried to have fun did not sit down for one min. You think she would respect me even for a little bit and not bring her FB my ex bestfriend/wing around. anyways thats the update, still feel terrible, managed to get a few HB's numbers one girl from germany who had the whole sexy secertary look going on. donno if ill call anyone but well see how i feel in a week when i post again.

 

[Fingerling]

Day 8

Fingerling: Sounds like you're in pretty hard weather there. How the heck do you keep running into her? I would suggest hanging more with your mates and cut the contact you have with her friends. Explain this to one of your mates if you have to, you can tell him you need some help getting over her and would appreciate his assistance.

As for me... well, as mentioned earlier we're both part of some extracurricular activities so I was doomed to meet with her sooner or later. Anyways, today we had our first meeting and as we were wrapping it up the NC-girl chipped in with a "Ok, I'll talk with you guys later I've got a date now, so I can't run late. So keep me informed."

Just... wow. I would accept this kind of behaviour from most people, but after 8 days of NC it's pretty obvious she's trying to tick off a few of my nerves. So... I'm wondering what to do if she pulls something like that in the future and/or drags this dude who she's now dating into the study-groups.

On one hand, bringing up the issue will most likely signal to her that her behaviour and teasing is bothering me.

On the other hand, if she keeps this up it's a total lack of respect both towards our "friendship" and to the study-group. So we'll see how this develops.

Apart from this little incident, things are doing good. Got the phonenumber of a nice HB7 today who I'll give a call later this week, and a day 1 - date with another girl this Thursday.

Day 1

she or i keep saying lets do something so keep meeting up (yes bad moves). anyway came to my senses before. saw her driving home from work cause we stopped to view a car for my friend. so she text me, asking what i was doing there then she rang my mobile and my house. didn't answer. then i text saying 'went to view a car with so and so' she said. 'oh right i thought you where stalking me lol'
i said no more and wont. hopefully she'll get the idea and leave me alone.shes obviously moved on by sleeping with someone so this is my chance to get out and finally make a clean break so day 1 starts here.

angelus- looks to me that your ex was was trying a cheap shot to make you jelous. after she said that i bet she looked in your direction to see your reaction. if i was you saying that as the dumped i could more understand it, but why say that after you've dumped someone, to hurt them more?cruel

 

[Fingerling]

Well guys, I'm starting to wonder what is really going on with this girl I was talking to long-distance. If you read my earlier post, she has pretty much stopped initiating any contact with me after 2-3 weeks of calling/texting every day.

Tomorrow is my birthday, which I'm fairly sure she's aware of. If she doesn't call me or text me or something, that will probably be a decent indicator of non-interest.

Here's my question. Should I call her one more time to try to understand what is going on and why she pretty much broke off regular contact? I mean she didn't formally "dump" me or anything, so I have no clue where we stand. The important factor here is that I was going to plan a 3-day weekend around visiting her in a couple weeks, but obviously if she doesn't want to see me, I won't be needing to go. Any thoughts?

how long where you dating for?
personally i would try leave contacting her, or at least till tomorrow as its your birthday (happy b'day)
LDR are hard to work with so if you havent been dating that long with her i would draw a line under it an move on

 

[Cabal]

Wow.

 

[JCballin88]

how long where you dating for?
personally i would try leave contacting her, or at least till tomorrow as its your birthday (happy b'day)
LDR are hard to work with so if you havent been dating that long with her i would draw a line under it an move on

First off thanks for the b-day wishes!

Well we met early on in the summer but didn't start seriously "seeing" each other until about 1.5 weeks before I left town. I mean we weren't completely "official" because I DID want to keep it low-key until I could come back, but I would say as a "low-key" couple we were an item for about 3 weeks until she pretty much cut off contact for no explained reason.

And as far as the long-distance thing goes, I was willing to give it a try for a few reasons. One is that I go to a very small conservative Christian college where the dating scene is really grim. I've never had much interest in a girl from here, so it was like "no relationship vs. long-distance relationship" so I was willing to give the LDR a shot.

The other thing is that I'm on pace to graduate a semester early, so I could conceivably take a semester off here and get an internship back where she lives (I made lots of other friends there too). That would really help strengthen any kind of relationship I would have with someone there. So it's really tough to road-map my future here until I know exactly what's going on with her.

 

[Bryce556]

DAY 7 or so NC stoped counting. starting to feel a little better now, but this post is more in anger then anything. Ive completley cut contact with her but why is she still ****ing with me? if shes with my bestfriend now and i NC him too then why is she bothering to mess with my life.

Im trying to sleep and my parents walk into my room apperntly she went and talked to my mom and told her all this **** about me, and how apperntly im being immature with girls right now or somthing??? im just going back to what i normally do being flirty and meeting new people. as from my last post she showed up at the thing i was at.

Now i had the most embarrassing conversation with my parents about me having chlamydia, she told my mom i gave her chlamydia, which i believe is quite impossible cause ive been with her for like 7 months wouldn't she see symptoms before that? when she started to see them like 2 weeks ago. and i have no symptoms, she blamed me and in case i dealt with it and went to my doctor, its a personal thing no one else had to know.... and test hasent come back yet but im pretty sure im clean he treated me anyways and im good now, but I don't know how i could have caught it havent ever had unprotected sex with anyone but her once.

I think she caught it from my best friend he slept with more chicks then me. But WTF even if i had it it would be my own business not anyone else's, my own concern to get treated. Im not even 100% positive she has it she told me she did but she seemed fine to me last time I was with her and I saw no symptoms, she could be lieing as well?? clymidia has an incubation period of 2 months max and ive been with her longer.

im just so pissed!, i wanted to say a bunch of **** like stay the **** out of my bussniess and life to her, was gona call her or msg her on facebook, easy to find her number from somone again, but i thought id post here first and ask some opionions cause im not really reasonalbe right now, i really feel like calling or messageing and calling her on her ****. like im 18 almost 19 years old and in university my parents have nothing to do with my choices anymore that was quite embarrassing. who knows who else she told.

 

[JCballin88]

Dang Bryce that's a tough situation.

Well although it was looking obvious that things were over for me and the girl from the above post, I had her call me to get the official ruling before I had a big meeting at my college with a career counselor to plan my next couple semesters. I told her how we had both talked a little about me maybe taking a semester off to do that internship possibility I mentioned.

She basically told me that she had a great summer hanging out with me, that I'm an "awesome, awesome guy" but that we're just going 2 totally separate directions with our lives and that we should be (I was like "oh **** here it comes") "just...friends?"

I said something along the lines of "well honestly with me the 'just friends' thing doesn't usually work too well. When you have something with someone and then you try just go back to being friends, it's pointless. I have plenty of friends, so it's not a big deal."

What's tough is that we had all these fun things planned out for when I was going to go back and see her in a couple weeks. She wanted to do wine-tasting since I just turned 21, maybe some hiking, etc. But I told her I probably won't be in town for at least a month but she was like "well let me know..." then I said "well thanks for clearing things up" and she said "talk to you later" and we hung up.

So I guess the No Contact challenge officially begins for me! I removed a really nice picture of us from my desk here, deleted pictures she had sent me on my phone. I decided to keep her on Facebook though, because I think its a little immature/middleschoolish to delete someone on that. I can definitely handle not viewing her page, since we both don't use it a lot anyway.

 

[Angelus]

rant about how the ex-slvt is trying to destroy my life

Dude, don't fall into the temptation of trying to contact her. This is her way of trying to get attention from you. She's throwing you a sh1t test to see if she can still get to you. She doesn't care HOW she'll get to you, and will thus play some low-life under the belt disrespectful sh1t to get a reaction from you. Trust me, if you contact her, show her ANY sign that she's gotten to you now it's over.

Ignore the b1tch, have a talk with your parents about how things are and they'll understand, they are your family man. She's just a cheap slvt who gave their son the shaft.

 

[Fingerling]

Day 1

updates guys how you getting on?

i'm back to day one. We where meeting up all last week and went for a night out on friday and sat night. We bickered just like when we where together. I'm an easy going guy but if i say something wrong (just a simple general mistake) i get my head bitten right off.
anyway we booked a holiday months before we split up and decided to go on it together as we were trying again. had an amazing few days so i thought, talked about her moving in with me and how she wanted to get marrried and future stuff like that, so i thought she was all loved up again. then she went all funny and cold on me the next day, and she started bringing up how we argued at the weekend. at this point i realised a few things.

1.she hasnt got the same feelings anymore. even if she did keep saying i love you

2.i can't/wont change who i am i.e someone that doesnt argue back when shes in the wrong or when she has a pop at me.i'm not going to cower in the corner and say 'yes, dear sorry dear'

3.i can't do it anymore. i cant keep asking to try again, get my hopes up then get kicked in the balls

4.i'm sick of petty arguements that i dont start but i finish so i'm the bad guy.

anyway some words of advice would be great for the once again long road ahead.i know i need to be a man and just get on with things, but why can my head realise whats not going to work but my heart can't.

really need peoples wisdom today

 

[Angelus]

Fingerling, man... why do you keep doing this to yourself? It's like watching an animal slowly drowning in mud.

if i say something wrong (just a simple general mistake) i get my head bitten right off.

- obviously it seems that she has cut your b4lls off man... which seems to be the major problem here

we booked a holiday months before we split up and decided to go on it together as we were trying again

- dude, this just sounds like some net she put out so that you wouldn't bail out and leave her alone on the trip... you missed a red flag there man

This girl obviously know how to play you so that you'll give her the attention that she wants. Believe me, she will USE you again and again until you're a dried carcass if you keep slipping back into this.

How the heck do you end up talking to her? Haven't you read the RULES at the beginning of this thread?

Day ... I don't know... week 2+ or whatever
Still haven't talked to the slvt. Had a K-close date with a girl yesterday and spinning 2 other plates.

 

[Fingerling]

lol i know, i know. i guess back then i thought we could make it work but obviously not, so at least now (yes i should have realised before) i know for good which makes it a lot easier.

DAY 5
just tring to burry myself with work and going to take some martial arts classes to stop the lonely boredom.
i've stopped going on mutal friend nights out as this is all how it started last time.

glad your doing well dude keep it up. did you expect to hear from her at all?

 

[Jean Valjean]

Day 8
I have not heard from my gf since I sent her an email - telling her I was initiating NC unless she is willing to become intimate with me again. Guess she doesn't care and is "just not that into me" anymore.

Hurts today I am so lonely trying to be a tough soldier in the battleground of love.

Triple whammy for me, brothers
1. I moved out of home few months ago left my wife of many years wanted the joys of meeting new women
2. The gorgeous girl I left my wife for admitted she is still in love with her ex and put me in LJBF after acting like I was the love of her life a few months ago, calling me all day, meeting me whenever, giving me the look of love. I believed she was my Maria.
3. Don't even have my dog of 11 years by my side. He is home so no pet to comfort me.

feels like that song today

I'm so lonely I could die

just sitting in my empty condo by myself after a bad spagetti dinner I made with frozen meatballs.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

I have had no contact work for me with an ex but not for getting back together. It worked for getting some booty calls but I actually didnt want to pursue her anymore. If your trying to get an ex back in my opinion you need at least 4 months of no contact.

 

[Weezy]

My Sitch

So my GF broke it off after 3 years with me 28 days ago.

28 Days of NC... 32 to go.

I was in total control for most of the realtionship. I broke up with her a couple of times for getting sloppy wasted and saying **** like she was better off with a new BF, but the last couple of weeks I could tell she was hanging out with another guy, so I kind of smothered her.

I reacted to being dumped by saying "It's not a bad thing. I thought about it too, but was going to give it another shot, but I guess not" then she asked for a hug, and then a "real hug" and that was that.

Did I handle it right or should I have just shut up and said nothing?

 

[Jean Valjean]

So my GF broke it off after 3 years with me 28 days ago.

28 Days of NC... 32 to go.

I was in total control for most of the realtionship. I broke up with her a couple of times for getting sloppy wasted and saying **** like she was better off with a new BF, but the last couple of weeks I could tell she was hanging out with another guy, so I kind of smothered her.

I reacted to being dumped by saying "It's not a bad thing. I thought about it too, but was going to give it another shot, but I guess not" then she asked for a hug, and then a "real hug" and that was that.

Did I handle it right or should I have just shut up and said nothing?

You did okay
she was over you and had the hots for a new guy whatever you say was immaterial as long as you didn't beg

so I am in 22 days NC now with 38 left. The goal man is to go 60 days then you have no need to contact her anymore because you don't feel anything for her anymore.

How are you feeling .. I was broke up at first wtih great melancholy

anyway Keep strong and keep posting.

 

[Weezy]

You did okay
she was over you and had the hots for a new guy whatever you say was immaterial as long as you didn't beg

so I am in 22 days NC now with 38 left. The goal man is to go 60 days then you have no need to contact her anymore because you don't feel anything for her anymore.

How are you feeling .. I was broke up at first wtih great melancholy

anyway Keep strong and keep posting.

I'm f'd up in the head.

When I was with her I didn't wanna marry her, but now that I can't have her I do. I think about calling her every day, maybe if I woulda begged her more instead of being strong it would have changed something...

1 Month without so much as a text message. Never gone this long without talking to her since the day we met.