The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Angelus]

Day 1
Just got dumped and given the whole LJBF speech, so here I am... day 1. My case is that we attend the same faculty at school and are also involved in some extra-curricular activities. Thus I need to allow myself to talk to her occasionally, but ONLY if it is in a group with the other people I work with.

 

[Fingerling]

i'll join you for support

DAY 4-been split up for 2 weeks but we met on tuesday. mutual friends b day today so will most prob see her. but im not going to start conversation just a simple hello.

feel good though. plenty of girls out there

 

[danthemann]

Day 1-3

09/05/2009 - Day1-3.
3 days ago my GF told me we needed a "break" as its our first year of college together. Her reason? She wants to be able to make new friends and have different expiriences and cant stay together because the "title of bf gf is so stressful."

She asked to be friends. I said HELL NO! thats probably the only thing i did right.

I sat inside trying to decide how to get her back. I texted her trying to explain how much i cared and loved her and tried to get her back for 2 days. This screwed things up even more. But about 5 minutes ago I sent her a message telling her to not talk to me unless she wanted to give us another shot and that i needed time to heal and move on.

I will post again in a couple days or when i start feeling bad again.

Right now I am in high hopes and high spirits because ive realized im a free man now and can get any girl i want. My confidence is through the roof right now and i cant wait for the parties to start to meet some better girls.

Last night partying was an epic fail though, ran into my ex and my friends hanging out and had to sit through hours of watching her flirt with a friend of mine (my friend wouldnt have done crap. he told me hed play her and told me he wouldnt let her do anything). Its wierd though it seems like only in my presence does she flirt with the people im with just to make me jelous. It works but I'll walk away next time and go to another party.

PS. I find it pretty hard seeing my ex with other guys and have a huge fear of her fvcking other guys. I care a lot for her and would hate for her to be the slut. But i try to tell myself what happens happens and theres nothing i can do about it because its her life.

 

[danthemann]

first reply

Well not even 2 hours later she texts me with a "what?" no big deal really. It got me wanting to respond back, but then i realized that would totally go against the NC rule and shes probably just fvckin with me... after all i typed it all out for her.

So with me not responding, her friend, my roomates gf. comes over "looking for her phone" asking me questions like what im up to and all. I casually respond as if nothings wrong and im perfectly fine. which i really am.

Ex is already calling me. left me a voicemail, I failed though because i listened to it. Im not calling her back and dont intend to. She said "i wanted to talk to you, but i guess you dont want to talk back so i guess this is goodbye" i dont know what to make of it. we are already on "break" and not together... help here would be appreciated.

 

[Angelus]

dantherman: honestly bro, to me her "I wanted to talk" sounded more like a "i wanted to talk to you so I could have a chance of convincing you to still be my friend". Basicly only a win-situation for her. You'll do right in keeping the NC game tight. She had her chance, you told her you wouldn't have the "just friends", that's showing b4lls man! Don't become her doormat and give in to what SHE wants.

fingerling: thanks for the support

 

[Fingerling]

after all that hard work im back to day 1 and im feeling really down.

saw her last night, on a friends birthday night out, with some lad hanging round her who she was chatting to during the break-up. then we ended up talking (round in circles) an she came back to mine with her mate, i don't know why i offered and we didnt do anything.

her mate went home and she stayed.i took her home before and it ended in me trying to get her back and her saying i just don't know how i feel or what i want.

jesus why did i do this. i was feeling ok till i saw her. i was moving on fine but now back to the start.

 

[Fingerling]

Well not even 2 hours later she texts me with a "what?" no big deal really. It got me wanting to respond back, but then i realized that would totally go against the NC rule and shes probably just fvckin with me... after all i typed it all out for her.

So with me not responding, her friend, my roomates gf. comes over "looking for her phone" asking me questions like what im up to and all. I casually respond as if nothings wrong and im perfectly fine. which i really am.

Ex is already calling me. left me a voicemail, I failed though because i listened to it. Im not calling her back and dont intend to. She said "i wanted to talk to you, but i guess you dont want to talk back so i guess this is goodbye" i dont know what to make of it. we are already on "break" and not together... help here would be appreciated.

my advice from being a few weeks down the line from you and seeing my mistakes is to avoid her, calls and the places she goes. i know its hard when you want to get back but she doesn't and you pin your hopes on calls an messages. sounds like you doing a good job though

 

[Angelus]

Day 3
Woah, what can I say? While studying today I thought about indifference and told myself "heck, I'm probably down on the indifferent level and should call her, ask if she wants to grab a bite for lunch or something".

Didn't do it though.

Took a deep breath and asked myself "So... what will that accomplish? You having to sit there and hear her talk about this other guy she's seeing? Seriously, no matter how much fun the two of you had it's wasn't THAT good that it can make up for the sh1t she has recently put you through."

Damn glad I didn't give in to dig out her number.

fingerling: that sucks man, I was thinking about suggesting you would not go to that party, but hell. You probably thought that something could happen after inviting her over to your place, best suggestion I would have if you (hopfeully not) find yourself in such a situation again is to take a step back and reason your way out of why you shouldn't do such a thing again.
Keep it up though, it's not easy, but grind your teeth together and find the b4lls to keep on the NC!

 

[Fingerling]

Day 3
Woah, what can I say? While studying today I thought about indifference and told myself "heck, I'm probably down on the indifferent level and should call her, ask if she wants to grab a bite for lunch or something".

Didn't do it though.

Took a deep breath and asked myself "So... what will that accomplish? You having to sit there and hear her talk about this other guy she's seeing? Seriously, no matter how much fun the two of you had it's wasn't THAT good that it can make up for the sh1t she has recently put you through."

Damn glad I didn't give in to dig out her number.QUOTE]

good lad thats what i like to hear. keep it up go out and chat to as many girls as you can with a good wingman. did you delete her number? i did that and i was fine for 2 weeks lol

i had that attitude but since the weekend i messed my own head. and she suggested we go out tomorrow day to which i agreed. i'm not even sure why i did because i feel i need to move on myself.
am i missing her or the sex and company thats the big question.

 

[Angelus]

fingerling To me it is both, probably because I'm thinking that if I get to meet up with her I can move in with KINO and get more intimate with her.

Which is a big load off BS.

The way I see it there's no way I should be bothered to give her any part of my time, which she so "friendly" pointed out that she loved to be a part of.

Honestly man... unless it's too late I would have cancelled meeting up with her if I were you. The way I see it it would probably just mess your brain more up, if she detects any indifference in you she might try to "smoothen" things over by trying to appear interested in what you've been up to lately. Nothin' good is gonna come from that mate.

Yes though, what I did was delete her phonenumber, all the text messages she's sent me, blocked her MSN address, deleted her Facebook contact. Skype is a bit so-so for me though, since we're members of the same group there. IF she contacts me on Skype though, I'll not do anything. Right-click -> Close event. If she doesn't have the b4lls to approach me face to face it's not that important anyways.

 

[JCballin88]

Hey Guys,

Just wanted to say that it looks like I'll be hopping on board the NC train here shortly. I have been talking to this girl I met in a new city this summer, and we had an amazing time hanging out there. She knew I was heading back to college 8 hours away, and since I've been there we've still been talking (I said we need to keep it low-key though). The last 5 days she hasn't once initiated contact, when usually I am always the one answering the phone or text message. Gave her a call last night, but no answer. I'll keep you posted...

 

[Fingerling]

How's everyone getting on?
I've got an update for you. She came over last night cause we where looking to give it another go. We slept together an after that I got a funny vibe so I asked if she d slept with anyone else while we split up. She answered yes..... I asked if it was this lad I saw on the night out which is the same lad who was over her facebook page. It was.
Technically she hasn't done anything wrong but I just can deal with that so I told her I can't do it (get back with her). So back on day 1 quite upset but I feel I can let go now.

Jc- LDR are hard somethings. People say adsense makes the heart grow fonder but I guess the heart can only take so much adsense before it forgets. Try not to contact her an keep busy with friends or other girls.

Angelus-you where right lol. How's it going with you? One thing I've learnt is girls have no balls when it comes to meeting face to face when it comes to anything that may involve a heated discussion they prefer to hide behind texts and the net.

 

[Da Realist]

It's like an AA meeting in here haha. All you need is to fill time so it keeps your mind occupied else where. That is the key.

That sounds good, but it's not totally right. I've done the whole being busy from sun up to sun down thing and it helps till you lie down for the night. Then the memories hit you. What I've learned is that you have to face it at sometime and if it was a relationship with a genuinely good woman, you're going to feel bad. The thing is that instead of trying to just blot everything out, you deal with it at your time of choosing, get up, and continue on in spite of what's going on instead of just ignoring it completely all the time.

My experience with it is that you can gain willpower from it. I had bad stuff happen when I went into no contact that had nothing to do with the relationship while being troubled with basically bad dreams because of the break-up. I mean, I had no peace all the way around, but it got to a point where I determined no matter how bad it got I would not call. Some days I walked around numb because the only thing that kept me moving was the fact that I wouldn't give up. I started feeling like if life was going to take me down, it would have to do it itself because I wasn't just going to lie down for it.

Things have gone up and down since then, but I've learned that through it all you are the only person who will determine how it comes out as long as you accept you will face whatever comes. Funny thing is that I think that's what actually brings a woman back because she knows by you not talking to her you've made it you do don't need her and that she's the stupid one because she's left a real man instead of some guy who can't live without her.

 

[Recon]

It ended last night, through a damn text message. A little longer then a year and the relationship was over. I just replied to her message "Okay", and never replied to her text of "I hope we can be friends."

I'll make sure to post back. I guess this is NC Day 1.

 

[Angelus]

Day 7
Have to admit, I had a run-in with this NC-girl yesterday. I was heading down the street and saw two girls approaching, thought I knew them, but the lights were out so I wasn't too sure.
Anyways, I said 'Hello' just to be on the sure side, and just as the last syllable left me I recognized that one of them was the NCG, who, also surprisidly stuttered out a "oh... hi there!" Either way, I had no desire to stop and chat nor look back to see if she stopped. So, I'm satisfied with how it went.

Recon: good work on not replying the latest text, have you deleted all her texts as well and her phone number?

Fingerling: you're in a tough stop mate, but the way it's going I honestly doubt anything good can come from it, unless you're fine with handing in your b4lls to her, cut contact man!

 

[Bryce556]

alright so ive been stupid, i decided 2 weeks ago to initatate NC, i was feeling better then I met with her today. found out shes dateing a good friend of mine and ****ing him. i feel worse now. Im going to innate NC tomorrow. going to tell her not to call me unless its for giving the relationship another try. im doing this, i feel like **** right now but im going to do it. a ton of other stuff went on and now i don't even know what to do, she causes me so much pain, i wish id never even met her. i deleted her msn her phone facebook etc.

 

[Fingerling]

Very similar situation for me if you read about. Personally I'm going to go NC......again as I don't think could get over her sleeping with someone else for 2 reasons (this goes for you too)
1.it shows she doesn't care/love you that much if she's prepared to do that.
2.It'll always be in the back of my mind so it'll eat me from the inside

my advice is do nc to get yourself back on track an someone else may come along. Try taking some girls out it keeps you busy an makes you realise there's a lot of nice girls out there that can replace her.

 

[Fingerling]

Day 7
Have to admit, I had a run-in with this NC-girl yesterday. I was heading down the street and saw two girls approaching, thought I knew them, but the lights were out so I wasn't too sure.
Anyways, I said 'Hello' just to be on the sure side, and just as the last syllable left me I recognized that one of them was the NCG, who, also surprisidly stuttered out a "oh... hi there!" Either way, I had no desire to stop and chat nor look back to see if she stopped. So, I'm satisfied with how it went.

Recon: good work on not replying the latest text, have you deleted all her texts as well and her phone number?

Fingerling: you're in a tough stop mate, but the way it's going I honestly doubt anything good can come from it, unless you're fine with handing in your b4lls to her, cut contact man!

good lad sounds like your really coming along well done. Did she try get in contact after seeing you. I'll take your advice cutting the cord....again lol

i really am struggling again though, maybe is the come down off drinking always make me depressed. even got a girl back last night. she was pretty rough, actually very rough. got a hard on then had to put a jonny on. an i really cant use them once on it goes within 20 seconds. didnt help that i was p1ssed and the girl was a moose it happened the other week with another girl after a night out.
But when i spent the day with my ex on tuesday just looking at her gave me a semi on, maybe i just need to sort my own head out and date women rather than just trying to bang them when i'm pissed cause its not helping at the moment and i don't feel comfortable.

i've gone back to not eating again an i'm a slim lad anyway so i can't afford to not eat. she wanted to go out next friday for something to eat and go for a drink i said er yeah maybe. but friday night me and my mate where winding her friend up saying she needs to come out with us it was half in gest but half serious if she would have agreed lol. it got back to my ex and she was pretty mad, i found it quite funny cause she was obviously jelous.
we then got chatting normally again after i calmed down the situation. then this morning while still drunk text her if she wanted to do something today. she said how many times are we going to say lets leave it then come back to this.

i need help here chaps i've just taken 50 steps back and i feel terrible. not to mention its effecting me in work and obviously effecting me with other women/mooses. i just need to move on.

 

[Recon]

Day 7


Recon: good work on not replying the latest text, have you deleted all her texts as well and her phone number?

I deleted my inbox on my phone last night, and once i read what her facebook status was..which said something to the affect of "I had the best day yesterday! and last night was even better " <--- the day she broke up with me, I wanted to throw up in my mouth.

I then proceeded to delete her fb and phone number, which i wrote on a peice of paper and gave to a friend (I know I know..weak). I also deleted her best friend's number who i often talked too.

I realized that I WILL NOT, be receiving any contact from her so...I need to move on ASAP.

 

[Fingerling]

I deleted my inbox on my phone last night, and once i read what her facebook status was..which said something to the affect of "I had the best day yesterday! and last night was even better " <--- the day she broke up with me, I wanted to throw up in my mouth.

I then proceeded to delete her fb and phone number, which i wrote on a peice of paper and gave to a friend (I know I know..weak). I also deleted her best friend's number who i often talked too.

I realized that I WILL NOT, be receiving any contact from her so...I need to move on ASAP.

Yeah I don't get why girls can be so cruel when it comes to comments like that. Maybe it's a front to wind you up but at least your not biting. You've done the right thing by trying to erase as much as you can it gives you a headstart. Try not to relapse I was drawn back in an I feel worse than I did at the start so try not to make the same mistake.