The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cerwin Vega]

Of course we secretly still hope our ex contacts us.
We also (not so secretly) hope to be rich, to have a perfect body and meet tons of awesome people...the difference is that WE can make all this happen, but we can't make our ex contact us; Let me tell you something (even more important) - our exes won't change.
They don't understand what they've done wrong and sadly as much as we'd like to we can't make them understand, thus even if they'll come back, they will break our hearts once more.
They've changed. They are not the same people anymore. As much as I'd like my ex before the super-b1tch-mode to show herself, I know it will never happen. She's GONE. She's dead!

She's been replaced with this selfish, twisted b1tch who likes to see me suffer and slowly began turning me into her cuckold boyfriend.
I know I am worth so much more than that, that's why I REFUSE to be treated like that and I know she will never give me the respect I deserve.

As much as it is painful to CUT away the person I grew with, the person who I was the most close to, who I'd take over any friend and anything in the world, I must do this. I became too attached and that was my pitfall.
NEVER BECOME DEPENDED ON PEOPLE. NEVER FULLY TRUST PEOPLE. NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE.

DEPEND ONLY ON YOURSELF. ONLY FULLY TRUST YOURSELF. ONLY EXPECT THINGS FROM YOURSELF.

You are the center of your world. You must learn to love and respect yourself.

 

[Dtsm3]

^ I would totally agree with the points made with one exception.

The last girl I was seeing wouldnt let me in, she was holding back and guarded bacause she had been hurt many times in the past. That relationship failed 100% because she wouldnt let me in and trust me.

Point I'm making, if you take no risks there will be no rewards, you have to let people in sometimes, if you dont you will never have a truly fullfilling relationship.

Remember "true love is giving someone your heart and trusting they wont break it".

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Before you open yourself to other people, you should get to a point where you are independent.
Of course we can have a normal life and love, but once you "see the Matrix", your whole perspective of love and relationships change.

Just received a phone call from an Unknown number. I was expecting a call from my lieutenant so I answered..the caller was silent as if they muted the microphone.
I bet it's the ex. So lame, sick and twisted.

 

[Dtsm3]

^ Oh you are 100% right! You need to be an independent person, whom is capable of looking after yourself, and be fit and healthy, and most importantly able to enjoy life on your own.

All I'm saying is dont go from relationship to relationship never letting anyone in, or that is exactly what will happen.... you will go from relationship to relationship. Which is fine if thats what you want.

 

[Rave18]

Just found out that my ex will get married sometime soon [R.I.P 2006-2014 ]

Looking back [among other thoughts], the time that I wasted chasing girls on chat sites would have been better spent on studies > Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Anyways, I plan to pay heed to the wake up call and change myself for good.

 

[petitefri]

Just found out that my ex will get married sometime soon

Oh wow! How long since your breakup?

 

[Dtsm3]

Whats your thoughts on the following article?

http://torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/blog/4-reasons-to-contact-your-ex-today/

Kind of goes against what we are all saying??

 

[Rave18]

Oh wow! How long since your breakup?

Three years

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Toronto is mentioned a lot as the worst place on earth to meet women. It's kind of funny actually...
Why would you want to keep contact if you're not planning on getting back together?
Why would you care what she thinks about you post breakup? She broke up with you because her opinion was too important in your mind anyway (you've got no self respect and no other options).

 

[Colette]

Thanks Colette. We all may bring our dumping stories on here and explain but only us, personally know the complete details about how it all went down. The bit we explain is the part where we all got dumped and how we felt and how we are moving on. What am I saying? There's a lot to my breakup and that email I sent made me feel better about myself. You know why? Because with a NC we all secretly still hope our exes contacts us. I made things clear, we had fun, I learned a lot and am moving on. Now I don't have that time to sit down waiting for my phone to ring. Nothing to hope for, it still hurts but I am having more time to work on me.
Thanks

you sent that email for you , to make yourself feel good , your ex does not care what situation you are in, he doesn't care if you suffer, he doesn't care if you have a date or not , he is done with you. sending that email had no impact on him. once you accept this fact you will suffer less.

 

[Colette]

Toronto is mentioned a lot as the worst place on earth to meet women. It's kind of funny actually...
Why would you want to keep contact if you're not planning on getting back together?
Why would you care what she thinks about you post breakup? She broke up with you because her opinion was too important in your mind anyway (you've got no self respect and no other options).

some dumpers ( sick , twisted ones) like to keep in touch to feed their own ego. they don't want to get back with their ex, they just want to know poor dumpeess did not move on. dumpees should be smart and not to give dumpers satisfaction. I kind of think your ex and mine fall in this category.
however. not all dumpers are sick , some break up and really disappear and make the situation easy for dumpee to move on.

 

[petitefri]

you sent that email for you , to make yourself feel good , your ex does not care what situation you are in, he doesn't care if you suffer, he doesn't care if you have a date or not , he is done with you. sending that email had no impact on him. once you accept this fact you will suffer less.

Fact is accepted, was accepted before and after I sent email.
Am better off, I safes more, can do me more, joined the gym, way ahead in my Uni work, more relaxed.
I know what you mean. Thanks and I really appreciate you telling me all this.

 

[Colette]

Fact is accepted, was accepted before and after I sent email.
Am better off, I safes more, can do me more, joined the gym, way ahead in my Uni work, more relaxed.
I know what you mean. Thanks and I really appreciate you telling me all this.

Things will be better that is a promise. I just started enjoying myself after 5 months . You should be patient, some days will be so tough and unbearable. but it doesn't mean every time you are sad you go and email your ex. Your ex will be the last person who can make you feel good .
You will have nights that after few drinks you only want to talk to your ex . Be ready for these nights and days and don't give in to temptation.
At the end you will be a better and stronger person and your ex will stay the same douchebag who already is.

 

[uncharted47]

Day 5. Feeling a lot better now.

 

[Firjah]

You dont "win" her back.

You move on and become a better person! She dumped YOU! Stop perpetuating your own PAIN. She is stringing you along so she can WEEN off of you slowly. Once she feels COMPLETELY over you she will be gone forever. And you will be left alone in a pit of anguish.

Just be done with it. Move on. Save your emotions while you can, and become a stronger person in the process!

And truly do NO CONTACT! No more of this going to sleep with her and what not, or coffee meetings!

we were only over because she wants/ed to change her life because of religion, according to the bible we lesbians are going to hell,
but since we broke up she has looked for me, never asked me to be back tho. i guess this is just me trying to make up excuses, at the end you are right, if she really loved me she would have of have prefered to go to hell with me... lol


Anyways!
day 1, things seem to be better in the no-love stuff, today i got pay employees saving fund and I just got a promotion at work!! more $ and higher position at my department!! i will try to focus on what matters, many people including my ex and the ex of my ex that works in the same department as me seem to be a little bit jealous, because of my promotion, they started as operators and it took them many years to get where i am right now at my 22, and they are 31 so, i feel very proud of myself =D


now you will want to punch me, while we were talking i made a comment that my position was going to be open since i was moving to other one, her sister is been trying to move to my area (she works in other plant tho)because it's a very well paid area, i made the comment to my boss and he said to ask her to send the info, after all we get a long well, her family adores me, but should i just don't tell anything about what my boss told me or tell her to send the info to my boss?

not so sure how it's going to be to work with the ex of my ex, my sister's ex in the same area and my ex sitting 3 meters from me

._.

 

[Colette]

@uncharted47

sounds like your ex is a slvt , sorry for talking so blunt. she sleeps with one guy on Thursday and another on Saturday ?? she likes her one night stand for sure.
So, you knew she was like this, she admitted to you and you still talked to her and slept with her, then you come here and whine about it?
Your story is very straight forward. you dated a slvt and it is your choice to continue dating her or not , but she wont change , once a slvt is always a slvt.

p.s. sounds like she is a heavy drinker ( 4 night out per week) , soon she will lose her good look because of excessive drinking .

 

[stevedudley]

day 66. I have a son with my ex. My family collected my son on handovers. For the first time last week I took my son back to the handover point. I did not speak to her. This week I collected my son and she had her new boyfriend with her. He was holding my sons hand that ripped my heart out. He was staring at me and my natural reaction was to hit this guy. But I know this is not what to do in the presence of my son. Yesterday I took my son back to my ex at the handover point and she arrived hand in hand with the new boyfriend. once again staring me out. Then the worst thing happened, my ex took my son towards this guy and got my son to give him a kiss. Then my ex and new fella held my
sons hand and walked off. This just destroyed me. I wanted to kill the guy but I just drove away. I thought I was over his breakup but this has set me back. My ex has contacted me about 10 times over the last couple of months but I do not respond. She tells me she happy so why does she use my son in this way. She has only been with the guy a short while so why is he in my sons life. I have my son 2 days a week so she has time to see this guy without involving my son. This has set me back as it is affecting my son. Anybody have any thoughts on this situation? Why is my ex doing this?

 

[Colette]

day 66. I have a son with my ex. My family collected my son on handovers. For the first time last week I took my son back to the handover point. I did not speak to her. This week I collected my son and she had her new boyfriend with her. He was holding my sons hand that ripped my heart out. He was staring at me and my natural reaction was to hit this guy. But I know this is not what to do in the presence of my son. Yesterday I took my son back to my ex at the handover point and she arrived hand in hand with the new boyfriend. once again staring me out. Then the worst thing happened, my ex took my son towards this guy and got my son to give him a kiss. Then my ex and new fella held my
sons hand and walked off. This just destroyed me. I wanted to kill the guy but I just drove away. I thought I was over his breakup but this has set me back. My ex has contacted me about 10 times over the last couple of months but I do not respond. She tells me she happy so why does she use my son in this way. She has only been with the guy a short while so why is he in my sons life. I have my son 2 days a week so she has time to see this guy without involving my son. This has set me back as it is affecting my son. Anybody have any thoughts on this situation? Why is my ex doing this?

I think she brings her new bf to hurt you. She is trying to tell you that her life is good, she has a new man now, and this new man plays daddy's role in your son`s life. It may not be true but that is how she want you to think .
I don't know why you guys broke up, whether you hurt her feeling or not ....etc . But she definitely is out there to hurt you so she is using this guy and your son to get to you.

 

[Dtsm3]

Brothers, I'm having a crisis.

The short term ex and me never got the chance to talk about what happened between us. We said some hurtful things and that was it, we've not spoken since.

I can get rid if this feeling that it was left unfinished, that we never really got to talk.

I keep coming back to this feeling and it's eating away at me. I don't know what to do.

Do I send her a letter? Do I ring her? Do I text her? Do I do nothing? She is a very stubborn girl and I don't think no contact will effect her, I don't think she will ever contact me again.

 

[petitefri]

So I sent that email to my ex after he broke up with me on the phone. I broke my NC after 18 days :-(This is the email
Hey! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say thanks for all the great times we spent together. I've learned a lot from our relationship, and I'm moving on. I hope we can still be friends down the road, though. Anyway, hope all is well with you.
so 5 days later he replies with this:
Hey (my name )
Just seen your email. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I guess we've both learned things. Thank you for the good memories too and I'm glad you are moving on. I still have your boots by the way, I don't know what you want me to do with them? Take care
(His name )x.
By the way I don't plan on replying to this. As for my boots I got a couple already. But I now know the disgust I got for selfish guys ( no offense)