Day 3 here... and I'm struggling big time but feel like I've done all the right things.
Our relationship ended last Thursday. In all honesty, I messed up and started acting very beta towards the end of the relationship. I left a rose outside her door on Wednesday to see her reaction to it, and she was very lukewarm in response. I knew it was over then, so I confronted her on Thursday, and we actually had a very amicable breakup even though I didn't want it to end. She said we were too different, and I simply said I respected her decision. She looked distraught about it, and asked if I was ok, and I said I was great.
I did get a text from her two days later after no contact, and she said that she hoped that me and my mom (who has cancer) were doing ok. I would have felt like a complete *** if I didn't say anything since she played a big part in helping my mom through her chemo, so I responded and said that we were both doing great and thanks. That was the true start of NC.
After she dumped me, I decided to just go ahead and take the rest of work off to be with my mom and came back on Monday. At first, she deliberately went out of her way to avoid me and I did the same. Today, however, has been extremely hard. She walked behind me multiple times on the way to somewhere else, and she was literally inches away from me as she walked past me. On one pass, however, she physically reached out and touched me and said Hey. I simply said "hey" and went back to work. She shot me a work IM right after that, and asked how I was doing. I waited a few minutes, and simply responded "great... really busy". She said "That's great", and I went to lunch right after that.
This has been very difficult for me, as I still have feelings for this girl, and she is making a concentrated effort to not let me slip out of her life. I am shocked it is so soon, and the fact that I can't really avoid her at work really sucks. It's obvious, though, that the very, very little NC I've done has already started to get to her.
As tempting as it is to try and jump back into her arms, I know it will only lead to bad things happening and I'm digging deep to make sure I keep doing what I'm doing. I just still have feelings for her, and I feel like if NC were a video game, I'm playing it on the hardest setting possible.
