haha one dayfuko2007 said:To bad everone on SS cant throw down some money and we all rent out a resort or something and rage out one weekend so we could all get up haha.
haha one dayfuko2007 said:To bad everone on SS cant throw down some money and we all rent out a resort or something and rage out one weekend so we could all get up haha.
henrea4henrea4 said:They say just fantasizing about your ex while...uhh.."relating" to yourself slows down your healing. I would imagine having visual aides wouldn't be any better. Or were you just joking?
Day 4 for me. :cheer:
What I did with pictures of my ex is I stuck them in a hidden folder on an external hard drive, and made it difficult to get to. I know where you're coming from, sometimes just having those pictures available is appropriate. I mean, I'm not going to get rid of my prom picture because my daughter is going to want to see my dress. I say, get rid of the mushy/sappy/sexy photos and keep the more general, platonic ones.Faldero456 said:Day three over and only 57 days to go.
Getting better bit by bit.
Thanks to all past and present who have posted here.
I thought I had special situation. After reading all the post I see the forest through the trees now. We all thought she was special. She was just a girl. A “hechicera” who had us. Yes we tried to make it work, but it didn’t. Time to move on. The pointers here are on the money.
Two small changes that I am making to the NC rules are theses;
1/ I’m terrible with numbers. If I deleted her name and number from my phones, I would end up answering or texting as I wouldn’t have a clue that it was her. The idea is zero communication. Saying “Uh, Hello? Who is this?” would break the rule for me.
2/ I disagree with deleting, getting ride of all your pictures. My 1st and 2nd wives (I know what you’re thinking, lets save it for another thread) got everything and I mean everything. I have very few pictures of my life from my early Twenties till my early Forties. If my son every wonders what I looked like or what girls I dated. I have nothing to show him. Memories are important. The few picture I do have, I can look at now fondly with the remembrance of a good time. Years, time and space make it easy.
I do agree not to look at the fresh exes pictures. That is contact, since the emotions are so raw right now. It is the same a stalking her FB.
Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. Since I haven’t got my game back yet and I am not banging anything that has ***** every other night. Does looking at those “SPECIAL” pictures and videos ( ) you have of her break the no contact rule?
Faldero456
KingM said:Hi guys!
Have been 3 evenings on my own in my bungalow at work. No people too talk too or chill with. So I miss her a lot more then I did last weeks. Just because she would wanna talk for the whole evening and now I have nothing. Just some conversations with random people on WhatsApp.
Hard days, thinking a lot about her. And about the time with her. Even found a picture on my laptop which I had forgotten too delete. Kinda sucks too see.
But hey! I really don't feel any urge to contact her. Just because it would give her the satisfaction of thinking that I'm still not over her. And it would trow myself back to step 1.
I am thinking about sending her a bday text when her bday is. That is in a few weeks. Not to get her back, not too ingage a conversation. But just too let show that I am not the bad person. That I can act like a grown up. And not like a crazy person like she!
pinkfl said:What I did with pictures of my ex is I stuck them in a hidden folder on an external hard drive, and made it difficult to get to. I know where you're coming from, sometimes just having those pictures available is appropriate. I mean, I'm not going to get rid of my prom picture because my daughter is going to want to see my dress. I say, get rid of the mushy/sappy/sexy photos and keep the more general, platonic ones.
I wouldn't advise looking at them unless you are showing them to someone else. It's clinging to the past far too much for your own good.
As far as the phone is concerned, I have his number memorized, so if it pops up on my phone, I know not to answer. If its a difficult number to memorize, just change the name on your phone to "do not answer". That's good enough.
Also, just wanted to mention: A friend told me that when my ex found out I was with someone new, and that I was really happy with him, it ruined his entire day. It's like I didn't have to do anything get revenge...all I had to do was be happy. The best revenge is a life well lived, and silence can be the loudest scream.
Faldero456 said:pinkfl
Great Ideas!
I have already changed her name on my phone to "do not answer". Tomorrow, I am going to go buy a flash drive to keep the pictures.
I am not sure about dating some else, yet. For me, not enough time has passed for me to mourn what just finished.
As a single Father it is hard to get back in the game. Scheduling who to watch my son, what times I may be available to go out, what do I tell my son why I stayed out last night and he had to stay with the sitter all night?
I assume you’re a single Mom since you mentioned showing your daughter your prom pics.
How did you handle that?
Faldero456
keep strong buddy dont contact her ever ignore her calls if she does...its over dont look back...we got your back here!!! im ognna add some links for u to read....also pm ME IF U NEED TO ASK SPECIFIC QUESTIONS.UnCreativeUsername said:Hi Guys,
This is my first post on this site and felt I had to contribute to what has been a real tough time the last couple of months.
I will start off by briefly explaining my situation:
I met my ex on Holiday in September 2011, we got on like a house on fire, we would talk for 3-4 hours every night on the phone, we loved each other intensely and in general it was a very passionate relationship. I decided in April 2012, that she wasnt what I wanted and dumped her, but told her we could be friends, which basically turned her into a **** buddy. Roll forward to July and she discovers that I have been texting other girls, goes crazy and ****s TWO GUYS WITHIN THE SPACE OF A WEEK as revenge. A month later, we agree to give it another go and get back together in August 2012. Things go well again, but due to insecurities on both parts, the relationship becomes stale, I stop putting in effort, so does she and eventually I end it again in March 2013.
We then once again carry on seeing each other, until one day in May she loses it with me, says im using her and cuts of all contact with me. My suspicions are she met someone and wanted me out of her life, fair enough. I then thought she was over reacting and gave her a week to calm down. I attempted to contact her....the response was basically "****k off and leave me alone" coupled with "if you really loved me, you would respect my decision and leave me alone". So what did I do? I bugged the **** out of her; every amateur rookie, wussy mistake, I made. I sent her multiple essays by text, begging her to take me back, telling her how wrong I was, how I shouldnt have let her go....she then decided to ignore those messages.....thats where it got bad. The depression kicked in, went on anti-depressants, didnt sleep for weeks, didnt go to work, I was a ****ing mess. And some of you may think "I deserved it" but I didnt do any of this to my ex on purpose. I started therapy and it turns out I got a lot of **** to deal with, which didnt make me miss my ex any less. I was still constantly stalking her on fb and twitter and even though she is with someone else now, I kept holding on to the idea she wanted me back.
The final straw came two weeks ago, when I was away with friends. I spent one night walking around the area, unable to sleep because I didnt know what to do. She hadnt given me answers as to how she could be so cold. My friends began to worry and decided to intervene, called her up and demanded she speak to me. She responded and we spoke for half an hour or so and she reminded me of the many times I had ****ed her over, how she still loves and cares for me, but is not in love with me any more. She also said "did you just expect me to wait around forever, hoping you would change your mind and get back with me?" which made me realise how much of a jackass I had actually been to her. She said she was happy with her new guy, but told me they werent bf and gf (prob just trying to save my feelings) and that she hadnt been happy with me.
That was the last time I spoke to her and that was 12 days ago. I havent contacted her at all, but because stupid Twitter is still open to anyone, I can check it and still am. I also noticed that although we arent friends on fb, her profile is now public....but hey, prob just an accident.
Whoa.....that felt good putting that down in writing!
Anyways, I just wanted to say that the no contact thing for me, is not about staying away so she misses you. I think its about working out deep down whether you actually want them back or not. Do they really tick all the boxes? Are they really the best you will ever get? At the same time, I dont believe for a second that an ex will believe you have changed if you pester her every day, begging for forgiveness. It looks pathetic and she was probably thinking "thank god I ditched his ass, what a loser." Not once have I been angry with my ex's new beau, because the funny thing is, although I broke it off with her a few times in the past, she is the first girl I know I have every truly loved....im 28 by the way lol.
After 12 days of no contact, barring checking Twitter, I am beginning to discover that I wanted her back more because she didnt want me. Typical human behaviour. However, I still miss her like crazy and I know that if she text me saying "lets get back together" I would be there like a shot lol. But, I honestly think if that happened, me and her would fall apart at the seams again. Reason? Because 12 days of no contact is no damn time to get your **** together and become a better person. Not just for your ex or other women, but for yourself. I wanted to share my story with you guys because this forum has been a Godsend. But, it took for my ex to go all taylor swift on me and say "we are never getting back together" to make me realise that I shouldnt be trying to get my ex back. I should be trying to work on my shortcomings and if at some point in the future, me and my ex maybe cross paths, then still seeing if I want someone like her or not.
Sorry I rambled a bit, I tend to use ten words where one would be just fine.
I hope I can be of help to you guys in the future and any pointers on my post would be greatly welcomed,
Cheers.
Cheers pal,j0504s said:keep strong buddy dont contact her ever ignore her calls if she does...its over dont look back...we got your back here!!! im ognna add some links for u to read....also pm ME IF U NEED TO ASK SPECIFIC QUESTIONS.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2031275#post2031275
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=203379
pinkfl said:Oh heck no, I'm not a single mom, lol. I'm 25 w/no kids. I just was giving an example of the type of picture I would deem appropriate to keep were I in a similar situation.
I think you should tell your son that you're looking for someone at some point. If anything it can be a teaching tool. Your son can learn what is appropriate and what is not. I wouldn't know how to best approach the situation as my folks are still together, and the only single dad I know isn't dating anyone until he finishes school. Maybe there are some other forums you can look on like reddit to get advice on that topic.
UnCreativeUsername said:Roll forward to July and she discovers that I have been texting other girls, goes crazy and ****s TWO GUYS WITHIN THE SPACE OF A WEEK as revenge.
Bro,j0504s said:you cant be with this chick she is nutz buddy, normal ppl dont act like this....shes capable of destroying you, she minipulated you to get you back...toyed with your emotions she is bad new bro....keep no contact, I think its a no brainer but do some thinking if u have to!!!