Feeling a bit **** at the moment. Just little things that remind me of her and it's annoying, trying to shut her out. If she wants back in she's gonna have to work pretty ****ing hard. Talking to a couple of girls at the moment. Gonna see where these lead
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
Broke NC today because she texted about a jacket of mine that she has at her house. Not going to be back up there until September. She knows that. I know that, but for some reason she wanted to bring it up now.
This is via text:
Her: Hey, how's life? You likely to be wanting your jacket back? It's taking up room in my wardrobe x
Me: hahaha yeah in September
Her: Hmm dunno if I'll still have it by then! You got any friends in (location)? x
Me: Nah not really, don't worry about it I'll just get it when I'm back x
Her: Well send a pre paid postage stamp for it and I'll send it down x
Me: Haha I said I'll just get it when I'm up! I'm not paying for my own jacket back haha! x
Her: And I've told you I've no room for it! It's not hanging on my door for another 2 months lol, you know how small my room is. Well you seem to want it back so you shouldn't mind paying for it haha! x
Me: Well take it off your door......wear it/loan it out/throw it in the shed for two months, I don't really mind as long as I get it back in September haha x
Her: It's only a jacket haha! Ok I'll loan it out or put it up in the attic or in the shed x
Me: Yeah....exactly....... x
This whole bringing up the jacket thing was so unnecessary, it was obvious she just wanted to try and get at me, how do you think I handled it? I really actually don't give a **** about the jacket haha but I don't think it's wise to ignore texts regarding handovers of clothes/possessions etc
This is via text:
Her: Hey, how's life? You likely to be wanting your jacket back? It's taking up room in my wardrobe x
Me: hahaha yeah in September
Her: Hmm dunno if I'll still have it by then! You got any friends in (location)? x
Me: Nah not really, don't worry about it I'll just get it when I'm back x
Her: Well send a pre paid postage stamp for it and I'll send it down x
Me: Haha I said I'll just get it when I'm up! I'm not paying for my own jacket back haha! x
Her: And I've told you I've no room for it! It's not hanging on my door for another 2 months lol, you know how small my room is. Well you seem to want it back so you shouldn't mind paying for it haha! x
Me: Well take it off your door......wear it/loan it out/throw it in the shed for two months, I don't really mind as long as I get it back in September haha x
Her: It's only a jacket haha! Ok I'll loan it out or put it up in the attic or in the shed x
Me: Yeah....exactly....... x
This whole bringing up the jacket thing was so unnecessary, it was obvious she just wanted to try and get at me, how do you think I handled it? I really actually don't give a **** about the jacket haha but I don't think it's wise to ignore texts regarding handovers of clothes/possessions etc
livindream927
New Member
I am new to this forum. But it sounds like a good idea to get some advice form the experienced.
I had broke up with my gf in April end and i had clearly told her I will be keeping distance because I don't want to stay as friends. But I didn't do the no contact thing.
She contacted me first after about two weeks, acting as if nothing happened. Then I replied casually, without asking any question, without answering what she asked. Just said about the dance party I am just back from.
After two weeks form this, I contacted her just saying how are you doing. She replied saying she is not so good not so bad. I tried calling her but she didn't pick up. So I left it there and didn't try to contact anymore. After two more weeks, it was her birthday. I just sent her a one liner saying happy birthday for which she replied saying it means a lot to her, etc. I didn't continue conversation but just stopped the conversation. I had in fact bought a birthday gift for her before we broke up. Of course I decided not to give it.
After about a week from her birthday, she texted me saying some casual joke. However I replied her saying, I am not interested in friendship so we shouldn't be talking. She texted me again after two weeks saying she got rejected from a study program for which she was really looking forward to and that she is really disappointed. Since I knew how much it meant to her, I couldn't help it. I went and took her out. When I saw her, I couldn't resist form saying, we will stay friends and keep in touch because I felt like I should be there for her as she is going through a tough period. Since I still had her birthday gift, which was a concert ticket where her favorite band is playing, I gave it to her as I thought it might cheer her up from whatever **** is going on.
For a few weeks, I could see her as just a friend and I was seeing another girl too. But we both were flirting. But slowly, the old feelings got back and I got in a bit of trouble. When she understood that I am behaving no more like a friend but more, she started behaving different. She was no more flirting nor reacting to my flirting.
Last weekend, when we were hanging out, she suggested that we should hang out with more people. Then I told her, its no problem. But thats not what I want. We had planned to go for a day trip the next day, I cancelled it saying I think we shouldn't hang out as its not a good idea.
This time, I just want to move on. So I have decided to not respond when she contacts in a few weeks. So I thought I will write things down here. This is DAY 2.
I had broke up with my gf in April end and i had clearly told her I will be keeping distance because I don't want to stay as friends. But I didn't do the no contact thing.
She contacted me first after about two weeks, acting as if nothing happened. Then I replied casually, without asking any question, without answering what she asked. Just said about the dance party I am just back from.
After two weeks form this, I contacted her just saying how are you doing. She replied saying she is not so good not so bad. I tried calling her but she didn't pick up. So I left it there and didn't try to contact anymore. After two more weeks, it was her birthday. I just sent her a one liner saying happy birthday for which she replied saying it means a lot to her, etc. I didn't continue conversation but just stopped the conversation. I had in fact bought a birthday gift for her before we broke up. Of course I decided not to give it.
After about a week from her birthday, she texted me saying some casual joke. However I replied her saying, I am not interested in friendship so we shouldn't be talking. She texted me again after two weeks saying she got rejected from a study program for which she was really looking forward to and that she is really disappointed. Since I knew how much it meant to her, I couldn't help it. I went and took her out. When I saw her, I couldn't resist form saying, we will stay friends and keep in touch because I felt like I should be there for her as she is going through a tough period. Since I still had her birthday gift, which was a concert ticket where her favorite band is playing, I gave it to her as I thought it might cheer her up from whatever **** is going on.
For a few weeks, I could see her as just a friend and I was seeing another girl too. But we both were flirting. But slowly, the old feelings got back and I got in a bit of trouble. When she understood that I am behaving no more like a friend but more, she started behaving different. She was no more flirting nor reacting to my flirting.
Last weekend, when we were hanging out, she suggested that we should hang out with more people. Then I told her, its no problem. But thats not what I want. We had planned to go for a day trip the next day, I cancelled it saying I think we shouldn't hang out as its not a good idea.
This time, I just want to move on. So I have decided to not respond when she contacts in a few weeks. So I thought I will write things down here. This is DAY 2.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Day 32.
Guys need some help on this one. I told yall abt her texting me hi and i said hey back. Then she never responded ..i thought she had info abt our friend. Well i got this a.m. and my phone was flashing...when i checked it she had sent me a message on facebook at 4:37 a.m. saying "nice pic
" I never responded but why in the hell would she send me that at 430 in the morning? Is she just trying to see if ill respond? or just mess with my head? Anyway its pissing me off now. Ive been doing very well and this stuff is starting to conjure up old emotions.
Guys need some help on this one. I told yall abt her texting me hi and i said hey back. Then she never responded ..i thought she had info abt our friend. Well i got this a.m. and my phone was flashing...when i checked it she had sent me a message on facebook at 4:37 a.m. saying "nice pic
" I never responded but why in the hell would she send me that at 430 in the morning? Is she just trying to see if ill respond? or just mess with my head? Anyway its pissing me off now. Ive been doing very well and this stuff is starting to conjure up old emotions.It's a test if you ask me. You need to ask yourself - Do you really see a future together ? Could you marry her and spend the rest of your life happily together? If yes - sort things out. If no - laugh at it and ignore her. Remember, always be the better one....
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Definiately no future man. Ive already put to much work into it anyway to try and go back ..that would just be a re re thing for me to do. But i think its a test also or she is getting lonely bc no body else can bang her like i did bahahaha. But im not going to respond to anything she says and or does from this moment foward. It just shocked me to see that message and the fact it was sent at 4:27. Must be a **** test.adam225 said:
THEUNIVERSE
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2013
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 0
Day 4
I'm a newbie to NO CONTACT on day four. I was dumped on last Friday for another women. My anxiety is at an all time high and I cant eat anything. I trying to read self help books, write pro/cons list anything to eliminate the pain. I'm doing no contact to heal quicker. Right now, I'm too hurt inside to want him back. He lied to me about so many things. I cant believed I loved him. I wonder if he ever loved me or used me as a pacifier, to help him get over him former girlfriend that died, during our relationship.
I'm a newbie to NO CONTACT on day four. I was dumped on last Friday for another women. My anxiety is at an all time high and I cant eat anything. I trying to read self help books, write pro/cons list anything to eliminate the pain. I'm doing no contact to heal quicker. Right now, I'm too hurt inside to want him back. He lied to me about so many things. I cant believed I loved him. I wonder if he ever loved me or used me as a pacifier, to help him get over him former girlfriend that died, during our relationship.
nfot33 said:
You know what to do then man. Just ignore it. The last thing you want is to be back to the start again.fuko2007 said:
It will be four weeks this Friday for me anyway. My mom told me she'd seen her yesterday and that they spoke for a bit. Of course though - I remained strong minded, and never asked a single question about her. All I said was - "don't speak about me to her please".
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
lol...yeh my buddy stoped by the other day and she is his boss and he started to say something abt her. I just opend my mouth plugged my ears and started humming. He got the point but i know how that feels. I got some big plans for the 4th so lookin foward to that ..congrats on your upcoming 4 man. If i knew you i would buy you a beer loladam225 said:
Lol, thanks man. I know how it is, believe me. O yeah - how could I forget... I pulled two girls whist I was out Saturday night. One was pretty nice from what I remember. She's slightly older than me as well haha. I'll call her later and see what she's saying...
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
gotta throw some rep your way on that one. i pulled 2 ...one flaked but im still talking to the other one from sturday night. Its like everywhere i go out now i just start spitting game on auto pilot loladam225 said:
Lol, it's nice to know that there are plenty of other eager girls out there. The first one I pulled took my number and rang me to ensure I had the correct number. The second ones phone had died so she got me to write my number down on a piece of tissue for her lol. Damn, I must be special haha j/k.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
haha... me and my buddy were just discussing facebook game. He said my game is getting on late at night when im drunk and saying random stuff to *****es i barely know. haha. It works tho to be honest. I didnt give my number out that night but took theirs and they made me text them to make sure i got it right lol. But then i wanderd off and statred hitting more girls up. Got rejected a few times with the whole bf thing all i said is dang that sucks for you and walked off lol
livindream927
New Member
DAY 3.
I was just thinking a while ago that she hurt me and I feel really angry at her. In a few seconds I realized that I can't afford to be pessimistic rathe I need to take an optimistic view. So I reframed my thought to, well she didn't hurt you rather she taught you how you could screw up. So learn the lesson, even though its the hardway, and be thankful for it. This way, I don't feel angry at her. Also since contacting her is the exact opposite of the lesson I learned the hard way, I don't feel like contacting at all.
Fear will be there, the deal is about mastering it.
I was just thinking a while ago that she hurt me and I feel really angry at her. In a few seconds I realized that I can't afford to be pessimistic rathe I need to take an optimistic view. So I reframed my thought to, well she didn't hurt you rather she taught you how you could screw up. So learn the lesson, even though its the hardway, and be thankful for it. This way, I don't feel angry at her. Also since contacting her is the exact opposite of the lesson I learned the hard way, I don't feel like contacting at all.
Fear will be there, the deal is about mastering it.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
dat 33.
Feeling kinda down and angry. I said that the ex had sent me a message early one morning on fb saying nice pictuer and come to find out she unfriended me? wtf is that? That really made me mad, i want to text her and ask her what her deal is and just tell her that she is acting like a kid. Im really mad right now and am trying to hold it togther and not contact her guys. I know its just fb but why would you delete someone then message them saying nice pic.? ***** is really pissing me off and i havnt seen her in 33 days.
Feeling kinda down and angry. I said that the ex had sent me a message early one morning on fb saying nice pictuer and come to find out she unfriended me? wtf is that? That really made me mad, i want to text her and ask her what her deal is and just tell her that she is acting like a kid. Im really mad right now and am trying to hold it togther and not contact her guys. I know its just fb but why would you delete someone then message them saying nice pic.? ***** is really pissing me off and i havnt seen her in 33 days.
livindream927
New Member
DON'T REACT. It sounds like the idea behind the message is to make sure that you notice she unfriended you. An attempt to poke you or get a response from you. If you react, wouldn't you loose everything you gained in the last 33 days?fuko2007 said:
Once this happened with me i.e. unfriending on fb. Oh yeah, it was about a year back if I remember and I responded asking why did you do so. Now when I think about it, lol I was asking for trouble! Thats all I got to say!
Why would you want to text her and ask what her deal is? Shouldn't you be instead spending your precious limited free time with other girls? Why would you waste that time over a classic bad behavior from your ex? Well if you are with her, I agree, you have to call on their bad behavior. But with ex, is it really your responsibility to correct them? Or is it wise to stay cool and live your life?
She might be trying to put you on fire, but don't loose your cool man. Laugh at it and go have some fun mate
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Thanks livindream...It just kinda shocked me really. I dont think we parted on bad terms so thats why im like wtf? But your right its prolly either a ploy to get me to react or judgeing from the timeframe it was sent she was drunk. Idk why i give her so much power over me right now i was just thinking abt that and it kinda helped me return to center somewhat. I mean thats a childish thing to do and she is 39 and im 25 and i have never even done that to her. No point in trying to figuer out why though bc the mind of a woman is an infinite maze. Just kinda upset, and havnt felt this way since week 1.
...back to day 2. My ex wife broke NC Thursday to tell me she just doesn't think she can ever trust me to not go back to my old ways (neglecting and ignoring her, not being open to doing what she likes every once in a while, breaking promises). Very valid concerns, especially given my behavior lately. I didn't reply in the usual manner of arguing, insulting, then apologizing and bargaining. I simply said to her, "Ok. Very sorry you feel that way." Now, she may be relieved that I'm no longer chasing her but I'm honestly hoping she'll see the change in me and maybe start to reconsider. Yeah I'm trying to use this as a means to reconciliation. Must confess.
Anyway, day 2 here...again.
Anyway, day 2 here...again.
Hi guys!
I'm a guy from The Netherlands, so sorry if I make stupid mistakes with English grammar and words.
I've been reading this thread since my ex dumped me. It really helped me trough some tough times.
Here is my story:
In the beginning of this year I met a girl. From the very first moment she showed a lot of interest, and I liked here too. But I was a little more careful because I didn't know really how I felt about her.
After 3 weeks of talking through WhatsApp and Skype, we went on a date. From the moment I saw here I was in love. And the same went for her. We started dating more and more. And everything was fine. Although she was very clingy. I always said I would help her get over that, because she said the clingy attitude was because she was insecure. And I promised her I would help her get over that because I would never hurt her and stuff like that.
I'm a very social guy. I talk with everyone and I joke with a lot of people. I like to socialize. That also involves talking with girls, on a friendly base. She didn't like that. She would even get mad if I posted a status on Facebook, and girls liked it. I already knew I was in trouble. She would get mad and say things like : All those girls want you, delete them. Kinda psycho right?
After a month I asked her if we could make our relationship official, just quit the "dating" status and make it a real relationship. She told me that her parents didn't allow that ( she is 21!) because her ex was a jerk and she had too take it easy with me. She said she wanted nothing more than be in a official relationship with me, but that was the reason she had too wait. Little bit strange, but I accepted it.
We went of for another month, sometimes we had stupid fights. And always in the fights I was a little bit indifferent, I knew she wouldn't leave me because we loved each other. She didn't like that. But she always accepted it.
For my school I have too do an internship, and for that internship I have too live there. In may I had too live there for 2 weeks, and in the summer(present day) I have too live there for 8 weeks. It's a vacationpark and I do entertainment there. And it's also very fun to work with my colleagues. She hated that I have too live here. She said: All your female colleagues are in love with you, they will take you away from me. I had too tell her 1243 times I didn't like those girls, but she wouldn't believe me.
In the first 2 weeks I lived on the park in may, she ruined my whole 2 weeks. When I was in my bungalow just chilling with my mates and watching movies. She demanded that I would come online of Skype, and when I refused and said we could text or WhatsApp. She would go on psycho mode. When she did that I would call her, and we talked on the phone for 1,5 hours. This happened almost every night. So every night I was chilling with my mates, she would do this. It sucked. And I was getting doubts about our relationship
When I got back home from those 2 weeks, she wanted that I would come to her house. I didn't want to go. But I did, and I was really happy I did go. We had the best time together. It was total fun and all my doubt went away. I wanted to go for better days with her! The following week was good, she said that I was changing back to the guy she loved. And everything seemed fine. I was getting happier and happier with her again.
But then it happened. The big bang. In the weekend it was my birthday, I would turn 22. And she would come too meet my whole family. But in the evening before my birthday, she had a party at her work, and we would go there together. The plan was that we would go to the party at her work. Then sleep at her place, and in the morning we would go to my birthday.
Suddely she texted me that on the day of my birthdag she wanted to go in the afternoon because she had to have a good night sleep and she wanted to sleep in the morning also. I said : okay no problem, then I will go home after the party at your work and I don't sleep next too you. No problem
Then she just exploded. Telling me I didn't do anything for her and I am treating her like sh*t. I was getting mad also because it was my birthday she was ruining at that moment. I told her she just needed too shut up and not whine about something so small. I turned my phone off and went to sleep.
The next morning I turned my phone on, and she had sent me that she didn't know if we could go on. And that she was not ready for a relationship and we didn't match properly. At that moment I turned AFC. I called her to say I'm sorry and did my best. She just said she needed time and didn't know about us yet. I asked her if we could talk face to face, but she said : That only makes things difficult.
The day after that was my birthday. And you guys wanna know what she did? She broke up with me, through WhatsApp. She wouldn't awnser when I called, if I asked her to talk face to face she said : no. She turned into a cold hearted *****.
The following week was hell. Sometimes we talked but it really sucked. Suddely she got really mad and telling me I was a jerk and I made her feel like nothing in our relationship, and I hadn't told her enough how pretty I thought she was. All that sort of things. She also said she didn't wanted too talk to me again. I said : okay good luck bye! But after an hour she talked again telling me how sorry she was about what she said. And she wanted to remain contact. But she didn't wanted a relationship again. She said that she had to learn too live on her own, without a guy in her life. I said that when she thought she was ready I would be there for her.
2 weeks later she uploaded a photo onto Facebook with a guy, they were al cozy and the text with it was how nice the weekend was with that guy. And that moment I went on full rage mode, telling her she was a total b*tch and she was easy for every guy. She said: I only know him for 1 week, you should allow me to be happy! I was thinking: What nerve does she have, too treat me like this, and then says I have too allow her to be happy with some guy how looks like a feather broom? I told her she would get in trouble with herself some day and then broke off all contact. Deleted her everywhere.
I just heard that the relation with her and the feather broom guy is official. After 3 weeks of dating already. And it makes me sick, she told me after a month she had to wait. And now after 3 weeks already?
I think she is full of ****, but you guys know what? In a few weeks is her birthday, and I am in doubt too send her a happy bday text. But I know how you will all react. You guys will say : Screw her, she's not worth it haha.
I hope you guys understand my story! Sorry if it is unclear sometimes.
I'm a guy from The Netherlands, so sorry if I make stupid mistakes with English grammar and words.
I've been reading this thread since my ex dumped me. It really helped me trough some tough times.
Here is my story:
In the beginning of this year I met a girl. From the very first moment she showed a lot of interest, and I liked here too. But I was a little more careful because I didn't know really how I felt about her.
After 3 weeks of talking through WhatsApp and Skype, we went on a date. From the moment I saw here I was in love. And the same went for her. We started dating more and more. And everything was fine. Although she was very clingy. I always said I would help her get over that, because she said the clingy attitude was because she was insecure. And I promised her I would help her get over that because I would never hurt her and stuff like that.
I'm a very social guy. I talk with everyone and I joke with a lot of people. I like to socialize. That also involves talking with girls, on a friendly base. She didn't like that. She would even get mad if I posted a status on Facebook, and girls liked it. I already knew I was in trouble. She would get mad and say things like : All those girls want you, delete them. Kinda psycho right?
After a month I asked her if we could make our relationship official, just quit the "dating" status and make it a real relationship. She told me that her parents didn't allow that ( she is 21!) because her ex was a jerk and she had too take it easy with me. She said she wanted nothing more than be in a official relationship with me, but that was the reason she had too wait. Little bit strange, but I accepted it.
We went of for another month, sometimes we had stupid fights. And always in the fights I was a little bit indifferent, I knew she wouldn't leave me because we loved each other. She didn't like that. But she always accepted it.
For my school I have too do an internship, and for that internship I have too live there. In may I had too live there for 2 weeks, and in the summer(present day) I have too live there for 8 weeks. It's a vacationpark and I do entertainment there. And it's also very fun to work with my colleagues. She hated that I have too live here. She said: All your female colleagues are in love with you, they will take you away from me. I had too tell her 1243 times I didn't like those girls, but she wouldn't believe me.
In the first 2 weeks I lived on the park in may, she ruined my whole 2 weeks. When I was in my bungalow just chilling with my mates and watching movies. She demanded that I would come online of Skype, and when I refused and said we could text or WhatsApp. She would go on psycho mode. When she did that I would call her, and we talked on the phone for 1,5 hours. This happened almost every night. So every night I was chilling with my mates, she would do this. It sucked. And I was getting doubts about our relationship
When I got back home from those 2 weeks, she wanted that I would come to her house. I didn't want to go. But I did, and I was really happy I did go. We had the best time together. It was total fun and all my doubt went away. I wanted to go for better days with her! The following week was good, she said that I was changing back to the guy she loved. And everything seemed fine. I was getting happier and happier with her again.
But then it happened. The big bang. In the weekend it was my birthday, I would turn 22. And she would come too meet my whole family. But in the evening before my birthday, she had a party at her work, and we would go there together. The plan was that we would go to the party at her work. Then sleep at her place, and in the morning we would go to my birthday.
Suddely she texted me that on the day of my birthdag she wanted to go in the afternoon because she had to have a good night sleep and she wanted to sleep in the morning also. I said : okay no problem, then I will go home after the party at your work and I don't sleep next too you. No problem
Then she just exploded. Telling me I didn't do anything for her and I am treating her like sh*t. I was getting mad also because it was my birthday she was ruining at that moment. I told her she just needed too shut up and not whine about something so small. I turned my phone off and went to sleep.
The next morning I turned my phone on, and she had sent me that she didn't know if we could go on. And that she was not ready for a relationship and we didn't match properly. At that moment I turned AFC. I called her to say I'm sorry and did my best. She just said she needed time and didn't know about us yet. I asked her if we could talk face to face, but she said : That only makes things difficult.
The day after that was my birthday. And you guys wanna know what she did? She broke up with me, through WhatsApp. She wouldn't awnser when I called, if I asked her to talk face to face she said : no. She turned into a cold hearted *****.
The following week was hell. Sometimes we talked but it really sucked. Suddely she got really mad and telling me I was a jerk and I made her feel like nothing in our relationship, and I hadn't told her enough how pretty I thought she was. All that sort of things. She also said she didn't wanted too talk to me again. I said : okay good luck bye! But after an hour she talked again telling me how sorry she was about what she said. And she wanted to remain contact. But she didn't wanted a relationship again. She said that she had to learn too live on her own, without a guy in her life. I said that when she thought she was ready I would be there for her.
2 weeks later she uploaded a photo onto Facebook with a guy, they were al cozy and the text with it was how nice the weekend was with that guy. And that moment I went on full rage mode, telling her she was a total b*tch and she was easy for every guy. She said: I only know him for 1 week, you should allow me to be happy! I was thinking: What nerve does she have, too treat me like this, and then says I have too allow her to be happy with some guy how looks like a feather broom? I told her she would get in trouble with herself some day and then broke off all contact. Deleted her everywhere.
I just heard that the relation with her and the feather broom guy is official. After 3 weeks of dating already. And it makes me sick, she told me after a month she had to wait. And now after 3 weeks already?
I think she is full of ****, but you guys know what? In a few weeks is her birthday, and I am in doubt too send her a happy bday text. But I know how you will all react. You guys will say : Screw her, she's not worth it haha.
I hope you guys understand my story! Sorry if it is unclear sometimes.