She LJBF me, I told her otherwise..

[DMSR76]

This is the mindset I'm seeing from the AFC's in this thread...

Pvssy at all costs.

Pvssy above self respect.

If you are fine with that, I'm fine with it too.

Just don't ever call yourself a DJ.

Like the guy who in a few posts earlier was telling me his friend is a natural at attracting women and how he accepts the LJBF insult and then hook's up with his ex's girl friends.

What DJ, what man of worth needs a woman's help in generating fresh options for himself?

The answer is no DJ.

AFC's will take table scraps, take what they can get, grovel and beg and put pvssy above all other concerns.

Many here still do not understand or care that a man doesn't beg, a man doesn't settle, and a man doesn't put a pvssy on a pedastal and do anything in the world to attain it.

You hear this sh!t constantly on the discussion forum...

"What does it matter as long as I/he/whoever gets laid? lol"

And the answer is its fine, make a fool of yourself, degrade yourself to get pvssy if you want but you'll never be a man or a DJ.

You'll always be an AFC, a boy and a beggar.

And beggers can't be choosers.

They take what they can get anyway they can get it.

My cousin is what I would call a natural as well, he is very good at getting new chicks all the time and many of them lust after him but you know what? He falls in oneitis with each and every single new girlfriend that he gets and cries about her and obsesses about the relationship nonstop. He may be a natural at getting with women but he is no DJ. A DJ doesn't fall into oneitis, a DJ loves himself enough and has his own life so as to not become completely obsessed with his love interest to the point of crying over every little thing like my cousin does.

So yeah a guy that is a natural at attracting women can still be very much an AFC, a guy can get laid all the time and still be an AFC, we had a new member come on the board not long ago who told us just this that his success at getting laid so often was because of his looks but he could never hold a relationship together because he was such a pathetic AFC at heart.

The guy in Al Moh's post is an AFC too and I mentioned him earlier in this post.

Victory Unlimited had a giant thread about fallen soldiers which was a thread about guys who just would never accept or realize their own worth as human beings so always pedastalized women and the pvssy and because of this would allow themselves to be destroyed over the attainment of it.

This is what a lot of you discussion forum guys are not getting.

Your life and personal integrity should be worth more than shaming yourself just to get into a woman's pants.

Being a DJ is about becoming such a man of worth that the pvssy chases you.

That you become the one who chooses who he gets with.

Not going through life and then taking the first girl who is responsive to your advances just because she's hot without even qualifying her first and filtering her out for red flags.

"LOLZ, KontrollerX I don't care to be a DJ I'm just getting laid lolzzzzzz"

Yeah, good for you. Thats the most important thing isn't it?

You'd be a good attraction for the circus considering all the hoops you jumped through and all the dedication you put into getting in your oneitis's pants finally. How long was it again before you finally got to nail her? Oh whats that 8 months and she was emotionally vulnerable at the time? Very nice. Very nice. You big pimp you.

Yep we've got guys like this all over the discussion forum and before one of these AFC winners makes a response post to this I'll save them the trouble.

Yes I know that that particular scenario I just posted may not apply to you, yours probably looks more like this...

The first girl you meet that shows any interest in you, you take, no qualifying, no filtering out for red flags, she's hot, she's got a pvssy, you want it and thats all that matters. Things go great for a while but eventually she disrespects you in some major way. Then you make a post here. "Guys what should I do, is this disrespect?" We answer. You don't listen. Girl cheats on you. Then you make the post "Fvck this site, it doesn't help anyone" then we reply "you are angry because you never listened to us, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out".

So yeah be the prize guys.

Stop pedastalizing pvssy, accepting any scraps that are thrown your way and putting yourself through a tremendous amount of effort just to attain it.

Work instead on making yourself awesome and it will come to you.

Amen. You just broke everything down and put it all into perspective. This is so much bigger than merely nailing chicks. I was once one of those very guys who consistently had girls 'around', but sucked at keeping them. (A serial monagamist so to speak, and one who had a knack for choosing emotionally flawed women.) I'd usually whine about the relationships once they failed.

That's until the lights came on.

 

[dannyegg4575]

This is the mindset I'm seeing from the AFC's in this thread...

Pvssy at all costs.

Pvssy above self respect.

If you are fine with that, I'm fine with it too.

Just don't ever call yourself a DJ.

Like the guy who in a few posts earlier was telling me his friend is a natural at attracting women and how he accepts the LJBF insult and then hook's up with his ex's girl friends.

What DJ, what man of worth needs a woman's help in generating fresh options for himself?

The answer is no DJ.

AFC's will take table scraps, take what they can get, grovel and beg and put pvssy above all other concerns.

Many here still do not understand or care that a man doesn't beg, a man doesn't settle, and a man doesn't put a pvssy on a pedastal and do anything in the world to attain it.

You hear this sh!t constantly on the discussion forum...

"What does it matter as long as I/he/whoever gets laid? lol"

And the answer is its fine, make a fool of yourself, degrade yourself to get pvssy if you want but you'll never be a man or a DJ.

You'll always be an AFC, a boy and a beggar.

And beggers can't be choosers.

They take what they can get anyway they can get it.

My cousin is what I would call a natural as well, he is very good at getting new chicks all the time and many of them lust after him but you know what? He falls in oneitis with each and every single new girlfriend that he gets and cries about her and obsesses about the relationship nonstop. He may be a natural at getting with women but he is no DJ. A DJ doesn't fall into oneitis, a DJ loves himself enough and has his own life so as to not become completely obsessed with his love interest to the point of crying over every little thing like my cousin does.

So yeah a guy that is a natural at attracting women can still be very much an AFC, a guy can get laid all the time and still be an AFC, we had a new member come on the board not long ago who told us just this that his success at getting laid so often was because of his looks but he could never hold a relationship together because he was such a pathetic AFC at heart.

The guy in Al Moh's post is an AFC too and I mentioned him earlier in this post.

Victory Unlimited had a giant thread about fallen soldiers which was a thread about guys who just would never accept or realize their own worth as human beings so always pedastalized women and the pvssy and because of this would allow themselves to be destroyed over the attainment of it.

This is what a lot of you discussion forum guys are not getting.

Your life and personal integrity should be worth more than shaming yourself just to get into a woman's pants.

Being a DJ is about becoming such a man of worth that the pvssy chases you.

That you become the one who chooses who he gets with.

Not going through life and then taking the first girl who is responsive to your advances just because she's hot without even qualifying her first and filtering her out for red flags.

"LOLZ, KontrollerX I don't care to be a DJ I'm just getting laid lolzzzzzz"

Yeah, good for you. Thats the most important thing isn't it?

You'd be a good attraction for the circus considering all the hoops you jumped through and all the dedication you put into getting in your oneitis's pants finally. How long was it again before you finally got to nail her? Oh whats that 8 months and she was emotionally vulnerable at the time? Very nice. Very nice. You big pimp you.

Yep we've got guys like this all over the discussion forum and before one of these AFC winners makes a response post to this I'll save them the trouble.

Yes I know that that particular scenario I just posted may not apply to you, yours probably looks more like this...

The first girl you meet that shows any interest in you, you take, no qualifying, no filtering out for red flags, she's hot, she's got a pvssy, you want it and thats all that matters. Things go great for a while but eventually she disrespects you in some major way. Then you make a post here. "Guys what should I do, is this disrespect?" We answer. You don't listen. Girl cheats on you. Then you make the post "Fvck this site, it doesn't help anyone" then we reply "you are angry because you never listened to us, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out".

So yeah be the prize guys.

Stop pedastalizing pvssy, accepting any scraps that are thrown your way and putting yourself through a tremendous amount of effort just to attain it.

Work instead on making yourself awesome and it will come to you.

KontrollerX, my respect for you stacks up more and more each day.

 

[Faded Image]

Rollo, you hit the nail on the head with this one.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Nature abhors a vacuum. - Aristotle.

I think it has been mentioned before that it is in our nature to feel filled. We all strive to be away from that emptiness feeling.

It is in our nature to fill space. Look how we buy a house and fill it with "stuff". Look how we migrated from Africa to Europe. It's in our nature to want to consume space, fill it up and once we are done, we move on.

Take a bottle for example, suck the air out bottle and close that bottle with a cap. What happens? The bottle becomes an empty void. But once you remove the cap, air rushes in to quickly fill the gap. Try it, suck the air out of the bottle and your tongue gets suck into the bottle because you have created an imbalance.

So, this is why, AFCs see women as a need and a desire to fill that void. They need to fill the vacuum with the validating feeling that someone else can provide. If you are denied, it literally feels as if you are not whole or that something is missing. And this puts us in a state of imbalance or emotional pain.

Lets take a child as another example. Take a toy away from him when he’s not finished playing with it, regardless of whatever reason you give him, and you punish him with emotional pain. Like a big smack in the face.

So, when someone walks away, our whole being becomes this void, we feel empty. Its like our life got sucked out of us. Do that feeling go away? Sure… how do you make a bottle full? Fill it up with something. But this doesn’t happen until we do something or someone else does something to put our mental environment back into balance.

 

[DonJuan11]

Some of you kids are parrots.

Do you really think you are "getting her back" by saying no to her friendship? LMAO. Either way, she doesn't care! And if she really DID care (she thought you guys were friends, and just found out the hard way that you just wanted to fvck her), then you just lost a FRIEND. Not a slave master.

By the way. By saying that if you remain "friends" with a chick, she will just have power over you, that is for ridiculous, are you that weak? And another, that is FEAR. Stop fearing women.

Some of you are the opposite of cool.

Hate to say it, but I tend to agree with you. If you want to sleep with a girl and she LJBFs you, you can either agree with it and be friends, or explain yourself. "As nice as that would be, I think I like you too much for that to work for me." and then stop contacting and communicating with her. If she steps up the attention on you, you be polite on the phone and keep it short and sweet. If she doesn't give any more attention, you don't have a problem!

IMHO, thinking that you are "Getting her back" by not being her friend when you want to sleep with means you have let her have emotional power over you. (i.e. How dare she reject me? Doesn't she know who I am? How good I am in bed? I'll show her!) If you want to be her friend, be her friend. But if you don't, live your life to the fullest and spin more plates. When or if she finds out, she may even come back and take you up on the intial offer.

LOL @ the last line.

---------------------------------------------

P. DIDDY named me pretty.

 

[Omen]

Great thread, guys.


Omen,

I really feel for you, man. Must be hell dealing with that type bullisht on a daily basis.

However, this is a prime example of why office relationships are a BIG no-no. A wise man once said, "Never isht where you eat."



Anyway, I would calmly tell her that I'm not indulging in office banter nowadays because I'm focusing on other avenues/priorites in my life.... It's nothing personal. The beauty of that statement is that it would be a TRUE one-- you're moving on. You wouldn't be compromising anything, and you'd be sufficiently direct and to the point. If the girl continues to whine and act an AW, it's her issue, not yours. You've said your peace.

Since its not an office and I only see her 2x a week, its not as bad as it probably could be. I saw her for about 1hr yesterday, and she came up to me and told me someone needed something done, left me the stuff and walked away.

She later left and walked out the door. About 5min later she comes back in with some food for another employee (guy) and then she leaves. Dont know if she was going to get food for her in the first place, and got him something, or did it to go... How do you like that, but my guess was she did it a hair to try and get at me.

My job is to pay attention where I work (security) so I am constantly on my toes and I notice all sorts of things and small details, and she knows this. She knows i'm very keen, and good at what I do. So she probably KNEW I would have seen her come back in with the food and then leave.

Women amaze me at the things they do to try and make other people either jealous or upset.

How do you like that douchebag, I just got food for that guy. GREAT, who gives a flying F. :crackup:

She's thinking... he will see that, and then he'll get all jealous, and start wondering and blah blah....

No, I dont care, and only YOU think I do.

I know this girl will do all sorts of things now to try to send me in a shiat tantrum, but she's only wasting her time.

I know the type of reaction she wants out of me. I KNOW she wants me to yell and ***** at her and fight with her, but i've found that being calm and silent is much, much better And when she realizes she's not getting the reaction she thought she would, she'll give up.

And she'll definitely drop all the crap when she sees me with a woman around my arms that isn't her. She'll wonder how the hell I just moved on. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

Oh well, should be some interesting days ahead.

 

[Kev07]

One of my interests told me "I just want to be friends" so I told her "No thanks, I have enough friends." and she was like "What?" I told her that if we won't be anything more than friends than I don't want you in my life. She responded by telling me how I'm a selfish jerk and I only think about myself. Was this a smart thing to do? I was thinking, yanno, if I just be her friend, I'd still talk to her and eventually we could probably escalate more in the future. But if I cut all ties with her because she wants to take it slow, then I have 100% no chance. I just feel that she looks down on me now because she told me "I thought you were truly a genuine person but after what you told me I find you're truly a selfish prick who only cares about yourself"

you said you didn't want her in your life and now she's gone, i don't see the problem.

 

[JAS760]

KontrollerX......that was an excellent post.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

OMEN, you still care too much. I know this sounds really Zen, but until you can be indifferent to her you're only going to play this as a game. It's all oneups-manship. You're only playing into her childishness when you do; and the reason she's turned it into a game is to test you to see if you're for real or not about turning down her offer of "friendship". Her adolescent mind can't accept that any guy could essentially counter-rejected her LJBF. You have to disregard her in so much as any other person you'd randomly meet on the street. If you come up with some "gotcha" counter to her parading another guy around you by doing the same with some woman - she wins. You play her game and she knows you do give a sh!t.

RT, What would be a good way to tell a woman that you don't accept her "olive branch"?

Should I ever encounter this situation, I would like this tool in my arsenal. The best reply I can think of would be "That's not a good idea" and walk away.

Any better phrases out there? What is the ideal "level" of confrontation to use?

As I said prior, when you do decline a LJBF a certain amount of tact has to be involved. Any overt 'in your face' response will prompt exactly what IQQI's described; an equally overt confrontational response. The trick is to convey your non-acceptance of her offer in as covert a fashion as possible, but still courteous or at least "business-like."

The first obstacle men have to get over is that LJBFs are REJECTIONS. They are not genuine offers of some kind of enduring friendship. This goes back to what I've written about intergender "friendships", and a lot of AFCs get it into their heads that they're going to buck a trend and actually be 'best friends' with their LJBF girl. I've typed on this prior in this thread so I wont go back over that, but the natural inclination for most men when faced with a rejection - that most often comes after a very long period of "sniping" after her - is to opt for the path of least resistance and certainly the one which will make him and her the least uncomfortable. Women know this. This is precisely why a LJBF has been proven so effective for generations. It gives both parties an acceptable OUT, or on his part, an OUT that at least blunts the rejection.

The problem with all this is that the LJBFed guy is caught in the process without ever having understood that he's playing a predictable part in a social convention. So he sees the LJBF as an event rather than what it really is, a socially permissible mechanism for rejection. As a guy gets consistent LJBFs he begins to see the process, but all this comes after having had exclusively invested himself in the LJBF girl up until the point of the rejection. This is where the "frustrated" part of AFC comes from; his investment.

That's the first part; a man has to recognize the LJBF as what it is. This is part of the learning process because a guy has to also do some very important self analysis at this point. Most chumps will self-evaluate and try to find flaws in their sniping. "She might have accepted me if I had done X, Y & Z to prove I'm worthy." Rather, a guy ought to self-realize why he was in a potential LJBF situation in the first place. I'll tell you now, if you got a LJBF rejection, odds are you went about the process wrong. You sniped, you pined, you most certainly placed yourself into a position of qualifying yourself to her and thus handed her the frame from the outset. As I mentioned in my previous posts in this thread, you most probably jumped past the uncomfortable sexual tension of attraction directly into the comfort of rapport and familiarity.

Now, I'm outlining all of this again to emphasize that any response you can give a woman issuing the LJBF rejection should be done so from a position of complete awareness. It's not the actual words you say so much as you understand how you got to the point of a LJBF rejection. In other words you are most likely, at least partially, responsible for allowing it to get to the point of you having to counter-reject her LJBF.

So then how do you go about it? Some have offered the blunt "I have enough friends" line, but you'll deal with the social fallout of such an overt counter-rejection and most likely get the "you're an ass-hole response". Depending on how comfortable you are with that I'd say it's fair game, but don't expect her not to behave as OMEN's girl is. IQQI's not incorrect in thinking that a girl's only recourse at that point would be to think all you were interested in was ƒucking her. I realize how sh!tty that seems, particularly when most guy's getting the LJBF are there after having tried for months to get to the point of pressing the issue of intimacy and applying all the effort and personal investments (not limited to just missing other better opportunities). How could she possibly come to the conclusion that all you wanted was to get in her pants? It's her only social recourse, despite all you did to "prove" yourself up to then.

There's couple of better ways however. One is allowing her to deliver the LJBF and let it roll off. You don't have to be a prick and say "thanks, but no thanks." You could simply let the rejection go and strategically withdraw - so long as you think you can do so. Cut off all contact and move on to spinning plates as you should have been anyway. This is simple pragmatism, if not a bit introverted, but the end result is the same - she gets the message that you're no longer wasting yourself on her as a cause.

The other way is a the assertive counter rejection. This is not an overt "I have enough friends" response, but rather a drawing of attention to the social contrivance she's using and explaining it to her in direct terms.

After her LJBF, you can say "I really wish I could be your friend, but I'd really thought we meant more to each other than that after so long, and honestly, I'm looking for more. Sorry, but I guess I was wrong about you."

I wouldn't use this verbatim as some kind of script to follow, but this approach effectively puts the onus of the rejection back on to her and makes her aware of the LJBF as a rejection. The idea is to defuse any "he just wanted to ƒuck me" ideas AND draw attention to it as a rejection. The problem with a LJBFs as a social convention for women is that it's gotten to a point where it's a default, autonomous response, and not a real rejection of intimacy. It's become such a useful tool that they don't understand the latent function of it. When they're made aware of it, in a responsible way, recognizing the rejection aspect is unavoidable. Insomuch as it's Man's responsibility to approach, initiate, be decisive, etc. with a woman, it should be incumbent on a woman to give him a straight rejection or acceptance of his approach. Unfortunately not all of us are mature enough at any given stage to do so, so we develop social contingencies to cope with uncomfortable circumstance.

All this said, even after delivering an assertive counter, you MUST stick to your choice. You can only walk away with your self-respect and her own respect for as far as you're willing to follow through with it. Cut off attention, focus on other things, take some time for yourself, analyze how you came to be in the LJBF position, etc. She WILL try to get you back as a friend, for her own ego preservation if nothing else. Do NOT allow this. It's not her punishment, it's not spite, it simple utility. The longer you entertain her the longer you will be paralyzed. You will be in limbo because you refuse to see her behaviors are her message, not her words. When extinguishing a behavior, in behavioral psychology, subjects universally attempt novel behaviors in order to reestablish a previous reward / reinforcer that prompted the prior behavior. People will do this too. The AFC with step up his efforts in new ways in order to prove his merit for intimacy, and women will be flirtatious and accommodating in ways they never thought necessary in order to reestablish prior attention levels they enjoyed before a takeaway. Be prepared for this. This is exactly what OMEN is dealing with now.

 

[Omen]

Great post Rollo, and some sound advice. My girl might not use the other guy to make me jealous, but who knows. She has a boyfriend, but we all know that doesn't mean much. I think she's even used him as a test for me before. He found out (back a few months ago) I was talking to her, and he texted me and told me not to hit on her.

I told her he did that, and she was like... I know he knew about you, but I didnt think he would text you. She goes... What did you say? I was like... Nothing. I didnt respond. She was then like... I would have said something.

So you're right about this adolescent mind of hers. She likes to be tricky.

And YES, I was hitting on her BEFORE I knew she had a boyfriend, an I wasn't told by her, but by someone else. And in fact, 2 weeks ago was the first time she told me his name, and this has been after 2-3 months. So in my case, I didnt go after one I KNEW had one right away.

I just dont know about HOW to go by disregarding her. This is where I get lost at.

There is no doubt i'll HAVE to see this woman 2-3x a week, but i'm not around her per say as in always near her. She works one area I work another and cant leave my area, so its only if she comes up to me, will there be any type of chance for her to say something.

That is, unless she sends me a text one day, or talks to me after we close. So far she hasn't.

I'm doing my best to just go about my days and what not when I work with her, but my guess is like I said, i'll probably get a random insult from her if I dont say something to her at all.

For instance i'll work with her tomorrow and then my guess is, she'll approach me after so many hours and go... Why are you so mean to me?

Again, this being because I haven't said anything to her. I KNOW this is what I will face for a bit until something is said.

So I feel like I need to say something, but I dont know what. You say to disregard her like I would anyone else on the street, and that is great, and I can do that until she says something one day, and then i'll have to have something to respond with.

I feel that the ignoring can be fine and all and I can follow the part you stated below, but I have to see her, and that I cant avoid, nor can I avoid HER approaching me, which like I said I am sure she will in a matter of time.

"You could simply let the rejection go and strategically withdraw - so long as you think you can do so. Cut off all contact and move on to spinning plates as you should have been anyway. This is simple pragmatism, if not a bit introverted, but the end result is the same - she gets the message that you're no longer wasting yourself on her as a cause."

For me at some time I will need an assertive counter like you stated. When, who knows, but I am still trying to figure out what to say.

I like what you stated about saying the below, but I am not sure how much something of the like will work.

"I really wish I could be your friend, but I'd really thought we meant more to each other than that after so long, and honestly, I'm looking for more. Sorry, but I guess I was wrong about you."

The last thing I want is to not have anything to say at all when I DO get approached by her. It's coming, I know this, but when who knows.

The only other thing I can think of, if she goes, I thought we were friends, is to go SURE, and then that's it.

But this girl will know it's a lie, and that wont cut it I dont think.

I wish the whole cutting all contact would work, but it wont and that's what kind of sucks.

 

[Juando]

I just remembered LJBFing a girl- the sex from her was dripping in on the installment plan, it felt like High School all over again, so I called her and told her LJBF. I did not want to hang up but I had to hold the phone three feet from my ear to keep the knives from piercing my head.
I really was serious about being friends in my AFC mind. Forget it.
She would talk to me, politely, after that but it was OVER.

Awesome insights here. I am nuts about a girl who LJBFd me and I've made every single AFC mistake listed in this thread, seriously. I keep thinking it's complicated because of the circumstances, responsibility to be shared between the two of us. She was a graduate student of mine when I met her and even though the environment tolerates these kinds of relationships I held off because it was my personal policy to avoid such entanglements.

Looking back now, what would have been much better would have been to have either totally gone for it with her or just walk away from the attraction.
I ended up waiting until she was done with school and that's when I got LJBFd.

The thing is, now we have a ton of history, she stayed with me for a while, we have mutual friends, and to top it off, after I did cut her off for a while and then drifted back to spending time again without expectations, I discovered again how much fun it was being with her (yes there's the rub).

To my horror, I clearly saw that I was still in love with her and was about to push the REPEAT button... so now I'm backing away again. I feel like my situation is more complex and nuanced than many of the examples listed above, although I agree 1000% with the general thrust of the convo here to keep it clean and decisive. I don't think I will create a messy situation like this one again. It could be difficult for me either way here- walking away or walking a tightrope, but I am definitely not going to AFC my way forward by mindlessly and spinelessly giving away my energy and time, plate spinning is in order....

Coming out of an LTR fairly recently (I wish it was more behind me) being LJBFd seems to be the norm for me these days, and it's REALLY frustrating but I'm taking responsibility for it- I've been acting like a wounded puppy instead of a bull in heat, or at least somehow giving off that vibe. I've got a number of plates lined up now and this is a great opportunity to let these women know that there's a MAN in the house... I am totally willing to fall and OK with falling flat on my face in the process- what's more important, spreading my "friendship" or spreading my seed?

 

[Jon55]

This is the mindset I'm seeing from the AFC's in this thread...

Pvssy at all costs.

Pvssy above self respect.

If you are fine with that, I'm fine with it too.

Just don't ever call yourself a DJ.

Like the guy who in a few posts earlier was telling me his friend is a natural at attracting women and how he accepts the LJBF insult and then hook's up with his ex's girl friends.

What DJ, what man of worth needs a woman's help in generating fresh options for himself?

The answer is no DJ.

AFC's will take table scraps, take what they can get, grovel and beg and put pvssy above all other concerns.

Many here still do not understand or care that a man doesn't beg, a man doesn't settle, and a man doesn't put a pvssy on a pedastal and do anything in the world to attain it.

You hear this sh!t constantly on the discussion forum...

"What does it matter as long as I/he/whoever gets laid? lol"

And the answer is its fine, make a fool of yourself, degrade yourself to get pvssy if you want but you'll never be a man or a DJ.

You'll always be an AFC, a boy and a beggar.

And beggers can't be choosers.

They take what they can get anyway they can get it.

My cousin is what I would call a natural as well, he is very good at getting new chicks all the time and many of them lust after him but you know what? He falls in oneitis with each and every single new girlfriend that he gets and cries about her and obsesses about the relationship nonstop. He may be a natural at getting with women but he is no DJ. A DJ doesn't fall into oneitis, a DJ loves himself enough and has his own life so as to not become completely obsessed with his love interest to the point of crying over every little thing like my cousin does.

So yeah a guy that is a natural at attracting women can still be very much an AFC, a guy can get laid all the time and still be an AFC, we had a new member come on the board not long ago who told us just this that his success at getting laid so often was because of his looks but he could never hold a relationship together because he was such a pathetic AFC at heart.

The guy in Al Moh's post is an AFC too and I mentioned him earlier in this post.

Victory Unlimited had a giant thread about fallen soldiers which was a thread about guys who just would never accept or realize their own worth as human beings so always pedastalized women and the pvssy and because of this would allow themselves to be destroyed over the attainment of it.

This is what a lot of you discussion forum guys are not getting.

Your life and personal integrity should be worth more than shaming yourself just to get into a woman's pants.

Being a DJ is about becoming such a man of worth that the pvssy chases you.

That you become the one who chooses who he gets with.

Not going through life and then taking the first girl who is responsive to your advances just because she's hot without even qualifying her first and filtering her out for red flags.

"LOLZ, KontrollerX I don't care to be a DJ I'm just getting laid lolzzzzzz"

Yeah, good for you. Thats the most important thing isn't it?

You'd be a good attraction for the circus considering all the hoops you jumped through and all the dedication you put into getting in your oneitis's pants finally. How long was it again before you finally got to nail her? Oh whats that 8 months and she was emotionally vulnerable at the time? Very nice. Very nice. You big pimp you.

Yep we've got guys like this all over the discussion forum and before one of these AFC winners makes a response post to this I'll save them the trouble.

Yes I know that that particular scenario I just posted may not apply to you, yours probably looks more like this...

The first girl you meet that shows any interest in you, you take, no qualifying, no filtering out for red flags, she's hot, she's got a pvssy, you want it and thats all that matters. Things go great for a while but eventually she disrespects you in some major way. Then you make a post here. "Guys what should I do, is this disrespect?" We answer. You don't listen. Girl cheats on you. Then you make the post "Fvck this site, it doesn't help anyone" then we reply "you are angry because you never listened to us, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out".

So yeah be the prize guys.

Stop pedastalizing pvssy, accepting any scraps that are thrown your way and putting yourself through a tremendous amount of effort just to attain it.

Work instead on making yourself awesome and it will come to you.

My God. Someone get this man a beer and a medal. I could not agree more. I cringe whenever I read posts like "dude i was up in teh club last nite and totally fvckd this hot b!tch lol! dat gurl was on my d!ck lol!!! PUA 4 LYFE!!!"

Thank you. Your post couldn't be more spot on.

 

[DJDamage]

Hey Rollo would you say that women consciously know what they are doing to their male friends?! I mean lets take the AFC out of the equation for a moment and focus on the women. When a woman lays the LJBF's line on her "male friend" doesn't she realises that this AFC who is standing before her wanted to fvck her for the longest time?! Doesn't she see anything wrong with the fact that in her eyes its not ok for a man to reject the LJBF's line yet its ok to string a man along, pepper him with false hopes and some physical contact and then be surprised (or act surprised) he may want more??!!

Or is it just to accept the fact that women are women and you shouldn't worry about their predictable behaviour but rather accept it and follow the rules of engagement.

 

[DJVladdy]

4000 posts and you still dont know?

Yea, they know VERY well what they're doing. Women are bytches, who like to take advantage of guys who don't know any better.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hey Rollo would you say that women consciously know what they are doing to their male friends?!

I think it kind of depends on the individual, but to varying degrees I'd think no. As I stated in this thread previously, the LJBF rejection has been so provably time-tested that it's entered into a standardized feminine consciousness. In other words it doesn't need a formal teaching to understand how it's useful. It's simply demonstrated in so many different ways (media, personal interactions, etc.) that it becomes subconsciously learned. 12 y.o. girls don't sit around slumber parties discussing the best way to deliver a LJBF rejection to boys that like them. They learn the contrivance from TV, their big sisters, their mothers, etc. examples.

This is what makes it all the more jarring for a woman to have what's always been a useful social tool explained to them. And of course the fail-safe for it is the risk of social ostracization on the guy's part for doing so, making it far less likely an occurrence.

Now, that said, you're really asking two questions. The second is, does the LJBF girl know the "friend" wants to bang her? I'd say most definitely. Not that any woman would admit it, because in doing so it puts the burden of her being straightforward with him on her. It's plausible deniability. It's far easier to deny, what by early adolescence girls know (boys want to ƒuck them) than to accept responsibility for leading him on. Bear in mind, attention is the coin of the realm in Girl World, but the guy also bears a good amount of responsibility for his own illusions.

When you think about it, it's really a self-perpetuating cycle. Guys wants to qualify for girl's intimacy, girl knows this, but isn't attracted to the guy for the exact reason he is qualifying himself. Girl should be forthright with the "non-interest" guy, but still enjoys the attention and the affirmation that comes with it. Girl plays 'friend' and only becomes flirtatious when the attention flow breaks to reestablish. Guy gets to make-or-break point, initiates intimacy and girl falls back on LJBF. Guy believes he still need s to qualify more and the cycle repeats.

Is any of that a conscious process? If a girl says 'yes', she's a self-serving, grand manipulator. For fear of ostracization from attention she can't exactly cop to a foreknowledge of the process. But that's OK because there are many other feminine social contrivances she can fall back on to avoid this. The feminine prerogative (she can change her mind) being the most useful.

If the answer is no, and she's not aware of the process, she's naive or at least immature. In this event she's also excused from culpability.

Regardless of whether a woman is aware of her own motives, it's up to men to see her behavior as the only indicator for them. As I've said before, there are no mixed messages, women will tell you exactly what their intent is. You just need the ability to read the behavior. I've told DANGER this before; the medium IS the message. The LJBF IS the message. Women with a high IL don't get to this point with a guy they want to ƒuck.

 

[dannyegg4575]

7 pages and we still don't understand what Rt is trying to convey.

if a girl wants to LJBF you, she had already made up her mind in not seeing you in a sexual way. Why are you still sticking around? Why even debating what the words you should use to handle that "tactic"?

i think a lot of us still have the notion that LJBF would some day "convince" her that he can win her back. He doesn't realize that she had already moved on and so should he.

It's almost like the good old highschool days when he tried to convince the prom queen that they should be together. he sticks around, buy her flowers and all that sweet stuff...

 

[scratch]

From here on out I am going to tell EVERY guy that I am considering that I just want to be friends right now. That way if he just disappears or acts like a little whiny b!tch, I have succeeded in filtering out a fake loser. A man who gets all uptight about being friends is probably not a cool enough person to connect with me anyways, and I can just imagine the conversation with someone like this.

You want to play that game, do you? Here is an example of a girl giving me the LJBF speech. Her reaction is highly illuminating.

The reason that guys shouldn't agree to be friends is because it's rare that women who say it actually want to be friends, as opposed to using it as a polite rejection or simply having the upper hand in the relationship. I second the advice about asking her to introduce you to her friends and telling her about the other girls you're dating.

her: I'm on a break right now

me: huh?

her: I'm not actively dating

me: That's cool, I wasn't writing now to pursue that.

her: you should talk to [her friend] Anna more, she is more your type. I'm looking for something else now

me: what's that?

her: something calm, non-drama, and one lover versus many. NOT A POOL, or maybe just nothing.

me: maybe i could introduce you to a friend

her: why are u trying to introduce me to your friends?

me: because i figured we aren't a fit

her: you figured huh? how did you come to that conclusion so quickly?

me: you want to know why you weren't a fit as a **** buddy for me?

her: No in general. You were so quick to say "not a good fit," I was just wondering why.

me: sorry. I was actually trying to be delicate here, if you can believe it. Not my physical type. But hey, I'm not your type in most, if not all, non-physical ways, and this has still be a lot of fun chatting.

her: I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself, but as advice for the future, not a nice thing to do. I wish you well. Good night.

me: huh? you weren't considering me in that way anyway. what's the difference?

her: That was so mean. I have nothing left to say.

me: I'm totally baffled. i thought we were completely interacting on a platonic friend level.

her: I'm sorry, I don't talk to random strange men on a platonic level. I have plenty of friends to do that with. Sorry

me: then what was all that about encouraging me to talk to your friend, telling me you were looking for something completely different, etc? Telling me you weren't looking to date.

her: It no longer matters. You made your point very very clear. I hope you enjoyed the ego boost right before bed

me: i looked over the chat. you said you weren't looking to date anyone unless it happened naturally, i responded that i wasn't writing now to pursue that. seemed like we were on the same page.

her: I'm done [signs off and blocks me].

 

[iqqi]

I don't see why you had to insult her. But maybe you do.

 

[scratch]

I don't see why you had to insult her. But maybe you do.

I assume this is addressed to me. I'm not sure of the insult to which you're referring, but the only thing I can see is when I told her she wasn't not my physical type. That comment came when she pressed me as to why I said we weren't a good fit. Do you think it's rude to adopt a rule of offering one platitude, then providing the matter-of-fact truth if the platitude isn't accepted? Can you think of a better balancing rule?

Wasn't she insulting me by telling me she wasn't looking to date and suggesting I call her friend instead? Did I demand to know why she said that, or did I roll with it comfortably?

If she wasn't jerking me around with the disingenuous LJBF strategy, she would never have insisted on specific reasons as to why we weren't a good fit, would she? Wouldn't she have been relieved we felt the same way?

Is this really the only thing in my post with which you can take issue? Or, are you deliberately ignoring the conversational arc and focusing on minutiae out of disappointment that the clever, manipulative LJBF strategy you're so excited to employ will blow up in your face?

Look, this isn't misogynistic. You seem like a nice girl, but you're out of your depth debating with me, especially where I have such concrete evidence that you don't know what you're talking about.

 

[iqqi]

Wasn't she insulting me by telling me she wasn't looking to date and suggesting I call her friend instead? Did I demand to know why she said that, or did I roll with it comfortably?

When a girl isn't interested in you, and you take that as an insult, you are AFC and petty.

Not everyone in the world is going to be into you.

LOL @ "do I demand to know why" she offered friendship. I'd love to see that. "WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND!!!" :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

LMAO!