sageproduct's senior year field reports.

[sageproduct]

Igetit-yep I've read the info in your sig, and I will keep it in mind. I actually NC'ed Mel K for 10 days, then the night where I called and woke her up was when I broke that. Then didn't contact her for 4 days, and she texted me. THIS is where I fwcked up, I thought that meant she was interested when she was really just begging for attention. Also, I thought that way partly because she was the only girl on my radar.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Kendra M (half an hour away)
Seems pretty interested based on the amount she's texting. I'll call her tonight to finalize tomorrow's plans (our ice skating date).

Gina L (last year's prom date, past one-itis)
On the way in to one of the classes we now have together this semester, I called her name and told her a funny story I knew she'd enjoy. She loved it. My friends were bein gay and took my seat, but this turned out to be the perfect excuse to go across the room and sit next to Gina L.

Throughout class, we were talking and joking the whole time. Kind of reminded me of when were really close last year, but I tried NOT to bring up the inside jokes (which were all HILARIOUS) we used to have cuz that would bring back her thoughts of me as a friend.

She complimented me and reinitiated convos when they died down. If I looked over to comment on something funny, she would notice and look right back at me. Man, it reminded me of some times before...she just really seems to enjoy my company and loves my style of humor. Plus she looked really good today.

Was pretty independent of her though, didn't wait for her after class and didn't say bye...maybe i should at least say "bye". But tomorrow I'll tell her we're hanging out this weekend. I'll at least try to make a move? Who cares if I fwck up.

ALSO: Our winter dance where the girls ask the guys is coming up in about 3 and a half weeks. Gotta get some girls interested in asking me, I'm pretty sure I could get Gina L to ask me. If things go well with Kendra M though, I can also see her wanting to come to my school's dance.

Fiona M (a new target)
Didn't talk to her cuz I was talking to a female friend of mine during the only chance for social interaction. Excuse, gotta fwcking talk to her tomorrow.

Erica N (REALLY HOT new target w/bf)
Again I fwcking didn't talk to her cuz I was laughing about something REALLY funny with my friend when she walked into class. But he moved to the seat in front of her to talk to another guy who's in front, so the seat behind her (directly to my right) is empty. Gonna tell her to sit there with me tomorrow.

MOST OF ALL, JUST GOTTA FWCKING DO SOMETHING.

Being Romantic/SExual
All of the verbal stuff I've learned here so far, I've found that I've always practiced through texting first because there's more time to formulate a response. Trying to incorporate this into real life talking. I NEED to have at least some of this with Kendra M tomorrow because looking back, I'm pretty sure it did me in with Mel K when we were on our date. I was just being a "fun guy" who was asexual. Any kino that I did do didn't go far because I wasn't being romantic/sexual at all.

For tomorrow: a few points I'm gonna wanna hit, try to do other things too
-compliment her appearance as soon as I see her with an "I" statement ("I like how you look" or "I like your hair")
-grab her hand while we're skating of course
and....i'm running dry already. Still struggling with this a bit, but lately I'm just trying to jump on any innuendos I hear and use the words "good, bad, naughty, nice".
Also, when I think of the date coming up and it subconsciously plays out in my head, here's how I keep imagining things:
-lots of playful kino on the ice
-after skating and before we get back in my car, i kiss her

I'm glad I got over that "kiss at the end of a date" thing, it was so true that it puts on unnecessary pressure and has the potential to be cheesy.

 

[sageproduct]

Being Scarce

What do I do?

Kendra M (who I have an ice skating date with tomorrow) has initiated texting many times in the last few days-Sunday, twice on Monday, yesterday (wed), and today. I haven't initiated any texting. I know I should be scarce, but how exactly should I go about it?
A. talk to her when she texts, then initiate contact once for every 3-4 times she does
B. don't initiate contact but have complete convos with her through texting if she initiates it
C. don't initiate contact (except to set up dates), only answer enough to her texts to answer her questions and stuff
D. don't initiate contact (except to set up dates), reply sparingly to her texts

A few notes:
-she shows high interest in her texts: she sends me long texts and asks me a SH1TLOAD of questions to keep convo going
-sunday night, i had fallen asleep when she sent her last 2 texts so I didn't reply. then she texted me monday, later in the convo asked if i got the texts from the previous night, i said i fell asleep, she said "good cuz I was worried you hate me or something". Does this signify clinginess/problems if I don't text her back enough?

 

[sageproduct]

So...I still fwcking suck with girls...

Friday, January 22, 2010

I'm feeling pretty sh1tty right now, kinda low...I'll do a fair share of b1tching and moaning, then pick my ass up right off the ground and keep working and learning.

So what happened?

Date w/Kendra M
So this whole week before the date I think I was mostly doing things right by not really texting her too much, teasing her a bit (she asked for a ride, i said only if she was good ). Basically here's what happened:

-Last night I jerked it after like 5 days of not doing it. This should be the least of my concerns, but I'm sure I wold have acted differently if I were more hyped up sexually.
-Came home from school, watched some random sh1t for like 3 hours.
-On the way to picking her up, felt tired already and overly calm. Kind of boring feel.
-Picked her up. I had planned to say something immediately to compliment her looks but I froze up and greeted her in a friendly way. I was fwcked from this point on.
-on the way to the ice skating rink, the conversation wasn't really stimulating. My mind was so fwcking slow!!!! I just felt tired and bored and I always took like 2 full seconds to answer her questions. Was a waaaaay normal conversation like between an adult and a kid, NOT romantic/sexual and not even funny much.
-usually i easily find something rip girls on or set up some inside joke. I just couldn't do it tonight.
-got there. held the door for her, she held the next one for me.
-she paid for her own.
-here's where i lost MAJOR ground. she pretty much started leading everything from here on out. I was clueless in how to put on the skates n sh1t so she had to keep telling me what to do. Also had some quiet moments
-finding lockers to put our sh1t in...she was making all the decisions and telling me what to n stuff and i didn't even realize it til it was too late. should have been a fwcking man and taken things into my own hands.
-she told me to get on the ice first. i tried to get her hand for kino but ended up grabbing her arm while she linked it?
-i had only been skating once before so i was suckin at first and could barely keep my balance. She thought I was holding on to her for support....WEAK
-held her hand for a bit, but then she let go saying "ok i think you're good to go now". Turned out that kino wasn't sexy at ALL it was like me, a child, holding on to his mommy. fwck
-i'm struggling not to kill small children on the ice, she's gliding along easily. More bad here: she's leading all the conversation!!! Even though she was talking most of the time, she was leading everything. Nothing I said was funny!!!! Every time there was a silence she would take the lead and resume talking by asking me a question like "what's your favorite movie" and stuff. She asked me more questions than any other girl has.
-turned out to be a relaxing, life-story swap outing. About an hour total on the ice. Not a date. I could tell she wasn't having a blast when she said "we can go as long as you want to, i don't care" when she could have said nothing if she wanted to stay longer. I told her last lap.
-I stuck out my hand for her to grab but she didn't so I retracted it. This was the final straw that made me decide "Ok, I'm not even gonna go for the kiss." I felt like I acted like such a boring wuss the whole time I didn't deserve to go for it.
-Walk to my car. Before the outing, this is where I had planned to kiss her. I gave up while we were on the ice. I decided to just drive her home, and she didn't want to go anywhere else.
-I made the right decision: before we even got to her house she unclicked her seat belt. She got out of the car as fwcking fast as she could so I wouldn't try anything. She thanked me like 3 times and I didn't know how to respond.

Overall: I was an asexual wuss who wasn't even funny. She was the socially dominant one!!! She was leading the way in everything including conversing, what we were doing, planning, etc. I ended up just being "nice".

The half an hour drive home sucked. Not because I was really interested in this girl, but because I realized I have TONS more work in front of me than I had thought. I couldn't even attract a girl who was previously eager to go on a date with me.

Kick in the Balls when I got home
I get home and my house is teepee'd with a poster on the garage. It could only mean one thing, a girl had asked me to the winter dance where the girl ask the guys...I was expecting this cuz of some clues some girls had given me today.

Well, I see who it is and sure enough, it's this girl who's basically a man. I like her a lot and she's an awesome friend, but she's really not that cool and...pretty much a dude. Grinding with her's gonna be so gross. I called her and said yes though, cuz at my school saying no to someone for a dance is frowned upon terribly.

What I'm worried most about though, is the impact on my social value. Among the people I hang out with, it's totally fine, the girls will approve that I said yes and I'll get some sympathy from the guys. It's gonna hurt any chances I had though, of leaping up to some of the cooler groups that I've made tons of friends in lately. All the guys are gonna give me so much sh1t for having to go to the dance with her.

Gina L (prom last year, past one-itis)
If only that other girl hadn't asked me so early, I'm sure I could have gotten Gina L to ask me to the dance. She's much better looking, incredibly skinny, and I'd get a lot more respect from the cooler guys for going with her. Whatever though.

Talked more in class today, then while parting ways I told her we were gonna hang out this weekend. She smiled and said ok.

Looking Forward

Obviously, I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now and am tempted to quit and just jack off for the rest of my life...but of course that's not how I want to live my life and I know I've gotten through tougher sh1t than this. So I'm gonna keep improving myself, keep gunnin for girls.

Main area of concern right now: be more sexual!!!!

 

[YAboi]

Kick in the Balls when I got home
I get home and my house is teepee'd with a poster on the garage. It could only mean one thing, a girl had asked me to the winter dance where the girl ask the guys...I was expecting this cuz of some clues some girls had given me today.

Well, I see who it is and sure enough, it's this girl who's basically a man. I like her a lot and she's an awesome friend, but she's really not that cool and...pretty much a dude. Grinding with her's gonna be so gross. I called her and said yes though, cuz at my school saying no to someone for a dance is frowned upon terribly.

What I'm worried most about though, is the impact on my social value. Among the people I hang out with, it's totally fine, the girls will approve that I said yes and I'll get some sympathy from the guys. It's gonna hurt any chances I had though, of leaping up to some of the cooler groups that I've made tons of friends in lately. All the guys are gonna give me so much sh1t for having to go to the dance with her.

I hope you still get advice from other posters after i give mine concerning these events but here it is;

In terms of you being sexual with the first girl you went skating with, you could have said something like ''wow your looking yummy tonite'' as soon as you saw her or you could have given her a hug but while hugging her, think of having sex with her and make the hug as sexual as possible (kino at its finest, a hb9 has done this to me b4 and so im talkin from experience). The thing is though, everyone freezes up sometimes, even the best of the best so don't be hard on yourself just learn from it.


As for the prom dance with the manly chick, you have options, here they are;

a.) go to the dance with her and suck it up, but just make sure you don't make it an over personal one on one thing ( as in go with her but make it seem like you are doin her a favour and therefore socialise with everyone while acknowledging her presence and just act like she is your friend the whole night long)

b.) Tell her that you aren't goin to prom because you just found out from your parents you are gonna be out of state for a few weeks and just wanted her to know so that she would have time to find a new partner for prom. Then proceed to not go to the dance thereby saving your rep.

c.) Find someone whos willing to go with her and tell her no hard feelings but you wanted to go with Gina AND then proceed to ask Gina out as opposed to waiting for her to ask you which is what you should have done in the 1st place!

d.) Any other option that you or other posters on this forum can think of........



As for your friends in the cool crowd giving you sh1t, you need to work on being confident and indifferent. I.E when people know that what they are saying wont affect you, they get bored and stop. You can easily brush off what they are saying by replying them with '' Man whatever, you know how I would be hated by all the girls if I turned her down, I had no choice she asked me '' .

If they then persisted to give u sh1t , you should say '' You guys are just being immature about the whole thing , I've certainly moved on'' If they continued again, just be silent and let it pass and make sure you don't let it show on your face that what they are saying is pissing you off or worrying you. Just have a blank look on your face and ignore what they are saying then change the subject and if they still give you sh1t just say '' lets move on shall we, no need to act like kids''

Every time you say this to them , make sure your voice is firm but calm i.e in your head you should be thinking, I will not be made a joke of but I am cool ,calm and collected and if you persist then you are just immature ''.

 

[Igetit!]

-Picked her up. I had planned to say something immediately to compliment her looks but I froze up and greeted her in a friendly way. I was fwcked from this point on.

Wha...what happened?

I don't understand,I thought you said that you figured the reason why things went wrong with Mel K was because you focused more on being a "fun" guy than a sexual one,and that you were determined not to make that same mistake again with this Kendra M girl.


You said you "froze up" when the time came to say something romantic to her.


I'm not really sure,but I think the reason you froze with her is because you're not used to talking sexual with a girl. I've read a bit of your journal here and I don't see anywhere where you've been sexual in your conversations with girls before I suggested that you be.


This is also why I suggested that you stop texting girls,and call them instead. You need to actually SAY the sexual comments OUTLOUD with your mouth. That way you get comfortable and used to it.



It's ok to text quick messages,but for long conversations,you need to call her. She needs to hear your voice.



I think you froze up because unlike texting,there was no distance between you two. She was right there,in your face where you'd have to see her response to your sexual comment first hand.


You need to break out of that texting habit,and TALK to girls.

-on the way to the ice skating rink, the conversation wasn't really stimulating. My mind was so fwcking slow!!!! I just felt tired and bored and I always took like 2 full seconds to answer her questions. Was a waaaaay normal conversation like between an adult and a kid, NOT romantic/sexual and not even funny much.
-usually i easily find something rip girls on or set up some inside joke. I just couldn't do it tonight.

OUCH.

-here's where i lost MAJOR ground. she pretty much started leading everything from here on out.

This one probably did you in. This one is even WORSE than not saying anything sexual.


You might be able get by with not saying anything sexual to a girl,but this mistake of not leading....no,this one flat out KILLS attraction.

...she was making all the decisions and telling me what to n stuff and i didn't even realize it til it was too late.

Well at least you know to be aware of this now.

It's ok to allow her to express her opinions or give suggestions,but ultimately,YOU MAKE the final decision.

should have been a fwcking man and taken things into my own hands.

Freakin' bingo.

In fact,it's better for a man to make a bad decision than no decision at all,or to throw the decision making into the girl's hands.
And that's not a joke either,I'm serious.

Overall: I was an asexual wuss who wasn't even funny. She was the socially dominant one!!! She was leading the way in everything including conversing, what we were doing, planning, etc. I ended up just being "nice".

Double "ouch".

The half an hour drive home sucked. Not because I was really interested in this girl, but because I realized I have TONS more work in front of me than I had thought.

Well yeah man,of course you have work to do,we ALL do.

There are men 50 years old still struggling with this stuff,but because of this forum,you're light years ahead of them.


At least you know what to do. You just need to have the courage to just do it.


It would help you out TREMENDOUSLY to have sexual/romantic conversation with girls either in person or over the phone as opposed to texting.

 

[sageproduct]

When I first started learning C&F I did it so much to the point that I just became socially awkward. That was, however, a necessary phase since I know now that I definitely understand C&F much better.

Well, same goes for 1 being more sexual and 2 texting too much. So here are my resolutions that I will keep up until I see notable improvement:
1. Try to make (almost) every single conversation I have with a girl sexual. It's gonna be tough but I gotta do it. I know this may lead to some people thinking I'm a horny bastard or something, but whatever. I'm going off to college in seven months, so it's not time to worry so much about my social standing. I'm willing to make the sacrifice.
2. I. WILL. NOT. INITIATE. A. SINGLE. TEXTING. CONVERSATION. WITH. ANY. GIRL. For ANY reason. Even if it's just a quick question to the ugliest b1tch I don't even give a fwck about, I will call her. And if a girl texts me first, I will only respond if it's completely necessary.

Rest of my Weekend
I hate to admit it, but I pretty much spent the rest of my weekend licking my wounds. I was feeling pretty sh1tty and let all that pathetic self-pity and despair drain away. I locked myself in my room watching tv shows on my computer n sh1t but now I'm done. This coming week I will pick up where I left off and walk on, improving myself daily.

Random Stuff Last Night
Turns out Binny K (my first kiss 2 months ago) and this other girl I'm friends with were really bored last night and wanted to meet some new people. They know I hang out with people from a school half an hour away (where my 2 best friends and Kendra M go) so they offered to drive me there to meet my friends.

I've said it before, but this group of friends is totally different from my friends at home. I ended up getting pretty trashed and had lots of fun, but I did notice a few things.
-Girls are fwcking smart. Gina L was a huge one-itis for me last year but I told NO ONE about it. Last night I found out all the girls who were friends with her knew exactly what was going on, that I liked her and NC'd her after finding out she was "with" some 24 year old.
-The guys in the group half an hour away have some serious game. Pretty much all of them have gotten laid (it's the DEAD opposite at my school). The guy there with the LEAST amount of game actually chatted up Binny K and number and kiss closed her. We were cheering for him lol.

 

[Igetit!]

So here are my resolutions that I will keep up until I see notable improvement:
1. Try to make (almost) every single conversation I have with a girl sexual. It's gonna be tough but I gotta do it. I know this may lead to some people thinking I'm a horny bastard or something, but whatever.

Hang on there a second man.

I understand you want to get better at being sexual in conversation with girls you like,but to try and make EVERY conversation with a girl sexual? That might be a bit much. I admit that you would learn quicker that way,though,I just don't want you to say something inappropiate to the wrong person and get yourself in trouble.

Just be careful with that. And also remember,don't make the WHOLE CONVERSATION sexual,just toss in bits and pieces from time to time.


And another IMPORTANT THING:if you're coming off as being "a horny bastard",you're doing it WRONG.


The only time you should come off as being horny is when you're actually about to have sex,or in an intimate setting alone with a girl.



If you're walking in the hall at school,or in the cafeteria during lunch coming off as horny,it'll turn girls off.


There's a difference between being "sexual" and being "horny" as strange as that may seem.


Don't run around making sexual remarks to girls. Just wait untl you find yourself in a conversation with a girl,then toss in a comment,something simple,NOT vulgar or obscene.

2. I. WILL. NOT. INITIATE. A. SINGLE. TEXTING. CONVERSATION. WITH. ANY. GIRL. For ANY reason. Even if it's just a quick question to the ugliest b1tch I don't even give a fwck about, I will call her. And if a girl texts me first, I will only respond if it's completely necessary.

Well if it's something small or minor,it's cool. But for conversation,I COMPLETELY AGREE. You should call.


This two ideas of yours are good,however,you might want to look back at what went wrong on the date with Kendra in order to learn from it and not to repeat those mistakes again. You seemed to covered the errors you made pretty well.


You're on the right track man. I know you're upset/frustrated about the date with Kendra,but don't let your frustration about how things turned out make you go hog wild with the sexual comments thing.


There's no rush. Take your time and do it right. You can come back here to the forum and receive a pat on the back,a kick to the rear,some encouragement,or whatever you need,we're not going anywhere.


Later man.

 

[sageproduct]

Monday, January 25, 2010

Nothing too interesting today. Just focused on being a man. What was on my mind today was different types of humor. I've noticed that too often my sense of humor has geared toward making myself look like a fool/childish humor. Gotta change that to a more manly type of humor: calm, witty, bold.

Kino
I guess my timing of kino could do with a little work. I know it's good that I'm touching girls but now that I do it naturally I think I could work on trying to time it so that I take advantage of kinoing during "emotional highs" that girls are having when I'm interacting with them.

Being Sexual
Still struggling. At least I'm not being "too nice" but I still need work getting used to making suggestive comments. It's a long road here.

Complimenting Looks
Since most guys don't give sincere compliments, using them would be unique, not AFC. The key is using them sparingly and using ones that aren't BS. I kept thinking about compliments I wanted to give a few girls today and kept planning out when I would say them. That was exactly the problem, as I realized you can't plan little things like that. You just gotta recognize and do it.

Framing/Shaping
I think "outgoing" and "suave" should be key words right now. Whenever I try to change myself, I always give myself a mental image along with key words to try to be congruent with. For now, I will think of being "outgoing" and "suave".

 

[sageproduct]

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Been crazy busy last couple days. Only a few things stick out in my mind.

Erica N (REALLY hot girl w/ltr bf)
She looked FWCKING HOT today. Saw some hair sticking to her northface, so I reached forward (she sits in front and to the right of me) and brushed it off without saying a word. When she turned and looked, I commented "these northfaces always get hair on them." and she picked a hair of my shoulder. That was it.

Half the time in this class I'm thinking about fwcking her...

Sherman C (past sort-of oneitis, athletic girl, fwcked up w/her by wrongly using c&f and not asking her out)
Every once in a while I have some depressing thoughts run through my mind. Here is a girl who I genuinely like, but I had chased away earlier in the year (like sept) by wrongly and overly using c&f and just being around her instead of asking her out, then months later when I finally got her number I texted myself to the drain. I get pissed when I have these thoughts cuz I know exactly how I fwcked up, think about the interest she showed before, and know how differently I would have done everything.
Today I was walking with her and a guy with really high value and we were ripping on her the whole time. It was pretty funny and I gave her a big hug at the end to which she just said "I'm so mad at you".

 

[sageproduct]

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Pushing Boundaries
What I need to do is push my boundaries, get out of my comfort zone. Meet new girls cuz I've pretty much stalled with the ones that are already in my life. And be more flirty/romantic/sexual in my demeanor.

Being more sexual

Couple ways I've pushed my boundaries with this a little the last few days-
-Yesterday I was walking with some high-value guys and a girl they hang out with, and I immediately engaged her with "your facebook profile picture is really hot". This was actually a joke because her pic is some really scary **** of some weird girl but we all laughed and I could see the guys respected me more for being unafraid to say something like that...
(i know this is nothing, but in relation to how I was before it's something)
-A girl I'm friends with was lookin' pretty good today, so as she was walking with a girl and a guy I walked up, called her name, smiled at her and just said, "you look good." The other two commented something about being "creepy" but the girl I complimented just kinda laughed and said "thanks". Then I practiced being flirty with her a little later by giving her my best bedroom voice and trying to put on a sexy, devilish grin.

Also, I haven't jacked it since saturday, and today was the first day where I really started feeling horny all the time.

 

[sageproduct]

Hey man, quick question. How many girls have you kissed?

One. 2 months ago. After using this site for 2 months.

 

[sageproduct]

Friday, January 30, 2010

School-only one thing worth mentioning. Gina L (last year's prom date, past one-itis, reinitiating with her after long NC). Was talking to her, she showed me her calendar so I took it and wrote on today's date "hanging out with sageproduct". I just did it impulsively and it was created.

Then after school she texted me asking what our plans were.

Tonight-Getting Over Myself, Progress in my eyes

Gina L
Basically tonight was awesome because I just realized I didn't give a fwcking fwck. Here was a girl who had already friendzoned me, and I had a possibility of a second shot tonight. I realized, "what the fwck is there to lose at all? NOTHING." I honestly didn't give a sh1t about what she thought of me tonight.

Setting
Turns out, some people from my school hear that I hang out/party with some people from another school half an hour away. Last weekend, a couple girls wanted in and joined me, and this weekend I took a girl named Morgan J (just a friend) and Gina L.

I'm having a good time. People are drinking, so I start two. I have a couple shots. I'm having fun, getting good high value by kinoing and talking with chicks, and trying to be as flirty as I can with Gina L. She's kinoing the **** out of me. Gave me some really tight hugs, kept her hands on my back afterward, touching my face, sh1t like that. Honestly, it didn't mean much to me cuz she was always like this before.

She fwcking laughs at everything I say. She loves my humor. I throw in C&F perfectly and both her and Morgan J love it. I get some HUGE social proof when I play a funny/good song on acoustic guitar and EVERYONE stops talking to listen. Meanwhile, I keep visibly flirting with and kinoing other girls in front of Gina L.

Something I've Never Done Before
Gina L wasn't necessarily flirting shamelessly with me, but she was kinoing the sh1t out of me and showing interest, even though it was more friendly. I told her she smelled good, then I also smelled Morgan J and then Gina L. I put my face close up to her neck and smelled her. I definitely threw in some flirty lines! Like when she asked me to do something I think I leaned in close and said "Well that depends on if you keep smelling nice for me". My inhibitions were really knocked down tonight! Maybe cuz of the 2 drinks I had, just a tiny buzz.

She started groping my chest and feeling my muscles. Then she blatantly put her hands on my pecs. No joke here lol, a memory of Bong Duy's field report came up in my mind about when some girl grabbed his chest so he grabbed hers. Immediately, I reached out with my hands and straight-up grabbed her boobs. Gina L and Morgan J were genuinely surprised!!! They never thought I would do something like that. A red flag came up to me when Gina L took my hands off her chest pretty shortly and both of them were cupping their mouths, looking at me in surprise and saying "hey you can't do that". I think I did it again lol cuz she didn't stop feeling my chest.

We were on a couch or something, I leaned back, she leaned back on top of me and I was doing a buncha kino n sh1t. Then Morgan J said, "wow sageproduct you get frisky when you're drunk." This pissed me off a bit because I had only had 3 drinks. I wasn't drunk, and even though it helped, it wasn't because of the alcohol that I was acting more sexual. I know because I've been working on this aspect of myself.

So at that point I decided to stop drinking for the night so that they wouldn't just think I was being a horny drunk and that I AM A SEXUAL MAN.

The Ending
After an hour of me being social with everyone, bouncing around, never following Gina L (pretty much EVERY time we interacted, it was her calling for my attention), she came up to me and told me she was leaving. She gave me a huge hug and people started watching us. The Morgan J jokingly shouted out, "kiss!" Well I had planned on doing that before she even said that, so I tried to pull Gina L in for a real kiss on the lips. She resisted. Morgan J knew what was going on and separated us. Then Gina L came back and kissed me on the cheek.

WELCOME TO DA FRIEND ZONE!

The guys were all givin me props for getting a kiss on the cheek, but I knew better. This hoe is nexted, but I don't mind staying friends with her for a few reasons:
1. I genuinely don't care about her so it won't matter if she talks to me about other guys
2. She ACTS like she wants me....good social proof
3. Good flirt practice.

Conclusion
Seriously, I wasn't upset a tiny bit. I realized my game was good because I was completely detached and independent of the result. I'm glad because
1. I became more sexual tonight
2. Going for a kiss felt much more natural
3. Embarrassingly, I touched a girl's boobs for the first time tonight...
4. I realized that who gives a fwck!!! I'll just go for the fwcking kiss, if she goes for it, I do more sh1t with her!! If she doesn't, we'll just stay friends! SIMPLE AS FWCKING THAT.

 

[sageproduct]

Monday, February 1, 2010

Selling Haiti T-Shirts

Got some good practice "cold approaching sets" since it was my job to sell Haiti t-shirts. I remember last time I did something similar, I was nervous just asking for donations. Pretty ridiculous. Well today, all the nerves were gone. I approached a buncha tables at lunch, kept cool, and didn't feel any nerves actually and didn't hesitate at all. That's what approaching any girl/girls/people in general should feel like.

One thing I remember was a table of popular juniors that I approached. Most of them said they had already bought one and were surprisingly nice about it. One girl (hb 8 i'd say w/flirtatiousness of a 9 or 10) said excitedly that she wanted one, and as I was walking over to her to have her put her name down some of the guys at the table started chanting her name. Kinda funny. I guess they knew who I was too cuz after that I was selling to a different table and she called me by my nickname to have me show her a pic of the shirt.

Other than that, nothing interesting today. Mainly, I'm just really glad that I don't give a fwck at all what people think about me anymore. I'll talk to whoever I want to if I find them interesting, even if they're weird as hell. I'll crack jokes with anyone. If some guy's "gunnin" me, I just let it bounce right off and either grin and go along with it, ignore it completely, or shoot something funny back if I feel like it. All in good fun.

 

[sageproduct]

Monday, February 8, 2010

Jeez, it's been a week since I've updated? Well nothing much has happened, plus I've been sick for five days. I only wanna mention one thing though, and I'm kinda like wtf??

Mel K-probably sick of hearing about her. I went on a ice cream and bowling date with her, never saw her again. Texted her and stuff but she had low IL, ultimately didn't end up agreeing to plans after 2 or 3 tries. NEXT.

So a few days ago I wished her a happy bday on facebook. Not only afterward did I realize I broke NC. Anyway, she replied back on my wall blah blah esponding to an inside joke, then said "Um I never ever see you.." so I responded saying that I've been busy, will be busy, and she just hasn't been able to keep up (with a winking face. don't know why I did it)

so she responded, "oh so its my responsibility to keep up? im not so sure about that"
wtf? back when i texted her n sh1t i remembered how she always would say things like "you should be responsible enough to text me" n sh1t like that. i assumed she was playing hard-to-get because she liked me. Later, I realized it was just low IL. but now what the hell? maybe i'm just overthinking this. she probably just wants my attention again. she THINKS i have really high value at my school (which i kinda do except i talk to the cool kids all the time but dont hang out with them) so maybe she just wants to seem cool?

whatever. it's tricking me into thinking that my mistake with her was not pursuing enough; it's clearly not the case based on what happened and what you guys told me. So i think I'm just gonna let this go and not respond.

 

[sageproduct]

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Have been updating very little lately...which is an indicator of a good thing though. I've been completely focusing myself on school and my sport, and girls don't even come across my mind as much. I've been social at school and kinoing girls and trying to interact with them stuff but I'm much less dependent on the results. Also, I've taken a lot of time looking within and defining myself morally and spiritually...good stuff.

An Old DJ
So I'm at some healthclub this morning taking a shower and this 50 year old or so guy just opens up a conversation with me with "So you got a gift for your girl yet for Valentine's?" It was completely "cold"; we didn't make eye contact or anything and at first I didn't even think he was talking to me.

We had a good conversation for about 5 minutes. Good stuff. He was a real interesting guy. After I left I heard him just chatting everyone up and making conversation with people. I just thought that's how comfortable I should be with strangers, particularly girls. It's just that easy. If you make a simple effort to interact with a girl and she just shoots you down, then the problem is with her. Just gotta be comfortable with anyone.

 

[sageproduct]

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Fwcking finally, a new girl...

Sally E
She sits in front of me in one of my classes. Gina L (last year's prom date, nexted, made into my DHV b1tch) sits to my right so it's pretty easy for me to talk to both of them. Sally E is kind of a satellite popular girl. She's actually pretty good-looking and really quiet but always wears nice clothes. She's sat in front of me in this class for about 3 weeks or so but I haven't paid attention to her til now cuz I was more concerned with Gina L.

Basically I've just been talking to her a bit more now and working in the kino. So far I've only gotten some taps on the back to ask questions but I'm sure I'll escalate. All I gotta do is build some rapport, BE SEXUAL (which is still tough for me but i'm working on it), kino, and make plans with her. I'm gonna be out of town this weekend but I think I wanna get her number this week so that she doesn't think of me as "that guy I talk to in one of my classes".

A bonus is that anything I do will be RIGHT in front of Gina L and this other popular girl who sits in front of her. Jealousy ;D

Mel K
I know, I know, she should be long gone. I've NC'd her for quite a while (for high school standards) though and took some of her power away (she had way too much of it. i was constantly 'following' her before) by not responding first on fb and stuff. I'm gonna be busy this weekend but I figured, next week why not give her a shot? I'll CALL her next Wednesday to spark some emotions and make some plans. Might as well if there aren't any other girls in my life. I'll go for something, and if it doesn't happen she'll just be a friend and widen my social circle. Why the f not.

 

[Kevansta]

You are my hero man.

My story is almost just like yours, only I'm a Junior this year. I'm a fellow asian that hasn't had any real intimate contact with a girl. Aside from the Tennis thing (most people know me as that asian kid in football and track), I feel a lot like you when you started.

I'm gonna try to follow your success and build myself into a DJ. If I can get the action that you're getting now, my senior year will be a success.

You've definitely got a new reader. Keep it up man.

 

[sageproduct]

Thanks Kevansta, lookin' forward to seeing your growth here too.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Re-Stating Importance of Kino
DO IT!!!! For ANY girl. ANY person, for that matter. Humans are addicted to touch. It's a scientific fact. Today I could tell a girl was in a bad mood. Without saying a word, I gave her a quick little rub on her back and I could tell she instantly lit up. She turned, faced me, and started making conversation. I don't really care for her but it doesn't matter. It made me re-realize how important kino is.

Sally E
We were doing partner-work today and my partner and I were sitting at the opposite side of the classroom as her. No interaction today except I held the door for her (kind of accidentally) at the beginning of class.

Reading People/Social Skills
Just more stuff I feel like I've improved on: watching people closely and giving them your full attention when you're talking to them. You know when someone makes an awkward movement like they're about to say something but don't actually say it? I'm starting to notice little cues like these now, and when I do, I kind of make fun of them for it or pry a little bit. Not just for girls but for anyone. usually we both find it humorous and it brings some flavor into the conversation.

Loneliness?
Idk who's been reading closely but some might recall from my last few months or so of posts that I've kind of gradually broken away from my main friends' group at my school. Mainly cuz it's filled with AFC's and ugly, prude, controlling b1tches and I stopped having fun/enjoying myself when I hung out with them.

So I haven't truly "hung out" with anyone from my school for about a month. Luckily I hang out with my best friend and his friends ( who are AWESOME), who live about half an hour away. I guess I consider them my real friends now.

Well for the last month or so I've been completely unbothered by "not having friends" at my school. My motto's kinda been "wolf without a pack". I don't mind it because I know I'm making the choice of spending my time by myself instead of wasting it with people I don't even enjoy.

The last three days or so, I guess it's finally getting to me. I've been getting these sudden waves of loneliness that rush over me. Like I have no friends and stuff. I usually block it out pretty quickly but honestly, I feel like it's building up stress inside. My sleep hasn't been the best even though I've been going to bed early n sh1t. So....

Find A New Friend Group???

I feel kinda weird "actively searching" for a friend's group at school. There's one group of cool kids who i'm basically on really good terms with at school. I talk to and joke around all the time with them. Act like really good friends, but the only thing is I only see them at school. I feel weird making it my "goal" to become a part of any group? Especially cuz I've been telling myself that I don't "need" anyone

 

[sageproduct]

Weekend Update

Once again, I'm out of town so nothing going on. Except...

My First Real "Cold Approach"

So I'd say this is the first time I've ever went out of my way to talk to a girl I don't know in public.

Setting: a healthclub, 200 miles away from home

I put my tennis bag n sh1t down next to this pole and walk to the bathroom. On the way I see these two good-looking girls working out. Should have just approached here without even thinking. But I go to the bathroom, and when I come back, they're lying down with their legs on those bouncy gymnic balls right next to my bag. I bend down and starting packing my sh1t away and putting on my warmups and that old AA washed over me. Then I realized, "I'd be one huge b1tch if I didn't talk to these girls now." So...

Me: Hey do they have a swimming pool here?
(girl farther from me): Yeah they do (points out location)
Me: Oh, wow. Seems like a pretty nice club. blahhh
same girl: Oh yeah totally. They even have a steam bath over by the locker rooms (she said this kinda slowly)

Let's just say the future, master DJ version of me would have said something sexual/funny in response to that. I knew I should have but couldn't think of anything.

Me: (grinning) Oh, that sounds reaaal nice. I sure could use that right now.
The girl farther from me has been talking to me the whole time. I can't even remember if her friend said anything cuz I wasn't even paying attention to her. The talkative one was also the more attractive one.
Her: Oh yeah, I know. What are you doing here?
Me: (pointing to the tennis courts) I'm just playing that tennis tournament they got here. *should have excluded the word "just" cuz it in a way belittled what I was doing
Her: blah blah
Me: (continuing the convo) so you guys come here often?
Her: (quickly, smiling) Every day.
Me: Like a second home?
Her: pretty much.
Me: (fighting to keep the convo alive) You guys in high school? (came out kinda weird...plus I guess might have been a bit of a strange question? and I should have said "girls" instead of "guys" or something more flirty)
Her: Yeah.
Me: Seniors?
Her: Yep.
Me: What school next year?
Her: (some local college)
Me: Oh, cool. I saw this other college around...
Her: Oh yeah, no one goes there
Me: Haha, yeah it looked like an elementary school (I think I stuttered slightly here, ruining my joke)
Her: Where you from?
Me: ****** (i took a while to answer this question, i don't know why)
Her: Oh wow.

At this point I had finished packing up and putting on my clothes. I started walking away and said "Cya. I'll have to try that steam bath sometime"

(this was saturday) I didn't # close. I should have. Even though I couldn't have done jack sh1t with that # cuz I'm in some random place 200 miles from home for one weekend with my mom. Plus, I didn't even get their names.

Conclusion
the good
-cold approached a "set" of 2 girls for the first time. woo
-i think my body language and voice were good. No fidgeting or sh1t like that. Pretty sure I didn't appear nervous or anything. If anything, just a bit weird. It was easier though since I was putting stuff in my bag and putting my warmups on. I made sure my voice was loud, deep, and slow.
-i didn't let the convo die. that would have been miserable. Longest period of silence was probably less than a second.

the bad...i mean "needs work"
-although i kept the conversation going, it wasn't particularly good conversation. actually, it was BORING conversation. if you noticed, I asked like a hundred questions in a row at the end. it was an interview. my conversational skills may have improved, but that was negated by my nerves. Looking back, I could have easily made personal connections at many different parts of the conversation.
--didn't escalate in any sort of way. by that, i mean not getting names or #
-could have made it more fun/funny by engaging the shy girl as well. could have said something like "so does your friend ever talk?" or something
-ejected WAY too early. We were talking for barely a minute or two. as soon as i was done doing my sh1t i left. actually this has been a problem of mine in general. I've filled myself up a little bit too much with "don't be needy". Gotta connect more without giving too much attention. Balance is needed in the game
-No kino, but i mean that's a product of how short the interaction was, plus the fact that I was standing and they were lying on the ground. Does kino within 2 min come off as creepy in a day setting? Maybe. W/e. The point is that I didn't do it and i should.
-rapport. didn't build any. I know I could have if I made the convo INTERESTING and FUN. Also I could have thrown in a little Statement of Interest (forgot who came up with that...but credit to the genius who did)

Conclusion: It's a start

Mel K

Well I've fwcked up with her in various ways in the past. All that was right before X-mas. Thanks to the wonderful advice I've gotten here though, I haven't fwcked myself over too bad and just MIGHT be getting a second chance here.

After about a solid month of NC (she said "busy" one too many times), I wished her a happy bday on Facebook. I know this is breaking NC, but I figured it'd be better to do it than not cuz where I'm from not wishing someone happy bday on facebook is comparable as not saying hi to someone when you see them...lol. So not doing it would have meant that I was affected by her.
she responded: thanks blah blah umm I never ever see you...
Me: I know I've been crazy busy. gonna be gone next two weekends too. You just haven't been able to keep up
Her: so its my responsibility? I'm not so sure about that

At that I was like WOW. I didn't respond. The whole time I've known this girl, even back when she was chasing me, she's given me that attitude. I don't know what magazine she reads told her to do that...lol

That was like a week and a half ago. Today, she Facebook chatted me asking about some test tomorrow (note: I don't see her at school, there's just this one class we're both taking but in different periods). A short convo ensued. Teased her and stuff, natural stuff. instead of asking her questions I called her out on little sh1t here and there and tried to be a little flirty i guess? Here's a little part that I liked:
Her: blah blah was giving me sh1t about something
Me: cmon Mel K you're always giving me that attitude
Her: No attitude. I promise
Me: Much better. you're so much nicer when you behave

her response actually surprised me cuz she's always constantly giving me sh1t and sarcasm.

*key part here, the end of the convo*
Me: (teasing her in some way)
Her: blahh. have fun not taking the test tomorrow. see you..never? laterr.
Me: thank you, you too

My inference here in the bolded part was that she was seeking assurance of one of either 2 things
1. she's interested and wants assurance that I'll ask her to hang out
2. (my guess) she's not that interested, but wants my attention.

Luckily for me, I read up on NC and knew to appear polite but uninterested. Also, luckily I knew that you shouldn't tell a girl anything like "we'll hang out soon" or "i'll see you soon" because it is inconclusive, makes you too available, and is a RECIPE for flaking. Also, I knew not to "jump" at her slight suggestion of meeting soon. So I gave a uninterested, actually maybe a little cold response.

Plan: Hopefully I've demonstrated to her that my time is valuable and she's not gonna get away with fwcking with me with her "busy" sh1t and I have absolutely NO problem with moving on without her in my life. I was gonna call her on Wednesday to set up something for Saturday but just realized that we don't have school Friday. So instead, I'm gonna call on Tuesday for either Thursday or Friday. Not sure yet.

 

[Igetit!]

Mel K

*key part here, the end of the convo*
Me: (teasing her in some way)
Her: blahh. have fun not taking the test tomorrow. see you..never? laterr.
Me: thank you, you too

My inference here in the bolded part was that she was seeking assurance of one of either 2 things
1. she's interested and wants assurance that I'll ask her to hang out
2. (my guess) she's not that interested, but wants my attention.

Good call on #2. I can tell that you've grown in knowledge.

The average guy your age (or possibly any age) would have been fooled by her "see you...never?" comment.


As far as #1,I doubt that's the case. She may want you to ask her out again,but NOT BECAUSE she's interested,but because she likes "feeling" desired and wanted by a guy.


It's really simple:if a grl likes you,she'll find a way to see you.

I don't care how "busy" she is,or what other obstacles she may have that occupy her time,IF SHE LIKES YOU,SHE WILL SEE YOU....PERIOD.


I once dated a girl who would stop by my place IN THE MORNING before going off to her college classes. We'd spend a few minutes talking and making out,then she'd be off to class.

She was in college AND had a job at the same time. She would call me during her breaks at work,and during her lunch break which was 30 minutes,she call me to go take her out to lunch.



I'm telling you...THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "I'M BUSY". If she wants to see you,she'll MAKE the time.



"I'm busy" just means she has either low or no interest in you. So if you get that from a girl,you either need to do the things that create interest in her,or just forget her and move on.

Luckily for me, I read up on NC and knew to appear polite but uninterested. Also, luckily I knew that you shouldn't tell a girl anything like "we'll hang out soon" or "i'll see you soon" because it is inconclusive, makes you too available, and is a RECIPE for flaking. Also, I knew not to "jump" at her slight suggestion of meeting soon. So I gave a uninterested, actually maybe a little cold response.

Perfection.

Plan: Hopefully I've demonstrated to her that my time is valuable and she's not gonna get away with fwcking with me with her "busy" sh1t and I have absolutely NO problem with moving on without her in my life. I was gonna call her on Wednesday to set up something for Saturday but just realized that we don't have school Friday. So instead, I'm gonna call on Tuesday for either Thursday or Friday. Not sure yet.

Ok,now about this plan you have set up here....

Well,I suppose it couldn't hurt to try,I mean what's the worse she could do,just give you another "I'm busy"?


Sage,you need to try to look at the BIGGER PICTURE here.

Like I said previously,you've grown in knowledge in some areas,some places you seem to lacking a bit.


I went back and tried to find the first time you mentioned "Mel K" in your journal here,and it was on 10-21-09.


Today is Feb. 22,2010. So you've known this girl for 4+ months.


That's 1/3 of a year. Doesn't that seem a bit too much time to waste on one girl?


Think about this for a minute... You've had one date with her in FOUR MONTHS,and and every other time you've tried to see her,SHE THROWS the "I'm busy" line at you.


Average it out: You've had ONE DATE with her in FOUR MONTHS. So at this rate,you'll see each other 3 times a year.

And she seems fine with it. So does she really seem interested to you?


Are you seeing the bigger picture now? You have been open AND WILLING to make time to see her. You two could have done been out on 8 or 9 dates by now,but you haven't because SHE HASN'T BEEN WILLING.


I'm not saying to abandon your idea of calling her up to try to set up a date,but if you do,you need to go all out with it.


I can tell how you interact with her based on HER RESPONSES to you,it's easy.

You still haven't been sexual with her. That's glaringly obvious.

You know how I know? Because if you had been,SHE'D BEEN THE ONE calling you trying to talk to you/trying see you,OR she would have rejected you saying she's either not interested or she just wants to be "friends".


These are the ONLY THREE ways girls respond to a guy being sexual with them....

1)They show sexual interest back (calling you,trying to see you on a date,make sexual suggestive comment back).

2)They reject you flat out telling you they aren't interested,which rarely happens.

or


3)They friendzone you,(which is just another form of rejection).


And these thing happen THE INSTANT you show your sexual side to them,and that's GOOD.


This way,you'll know right off the bat and save time either way.


If she likes you,fine,then you can set up a date and go spend time together.

If she's not interested,it may suck,but I'd rather know it up front than to waste four months,then find out about it.


So if you want to call her,then by all means,do so,but don't call her tap dancing around what it is you truely want with her.


Go ALL OUT. Call her up,talk about "whatever" for a few minutes,then TELL HER you want to see her.

DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION. I normally advise against this,but you NEED TO here.


The convo should be something like this.....

you:Hey,what's up?
her: Oh,nothing much,just (whatever). What are you up to?
you:Well I just got back from (whatever),so now I'm just lounging around. I was watching this show on tv,and I saw this girl who reminded me of you,so I thought I'd give you a call and see what's your up to.
You know what about her reminded me of you?

her:No,what?

you:Well she had big boobs like you do. So when I saw her,I was like,"Hmm,I wonder what "mel K" is up to?" So I figured I'd give you a call. You know I haven't seen you in 3 or 4 weeks. You miss me?".




Now at this point,her emotions should be shaken because you would have thrown a few comments at her to get her feelings stirred.
Both the "big boobs" comment and the "I haven't seen you in three or four weeks" should shake her,and she NEEDS TO BE SHOOK.


All the previous topics you've discussed with her haven't done the trick.

You need to kick start her feelings towards you,or just completely drop her and move on. It's either that,or go another 4 months of game playing and getting "I'm busy"s from her.


Anyway,back to the conversation...

you:So you miss me?

her: (She'll probably say) Did you miss me?

you:Well...to be honest with you,I hadn't really thought that much about you until I saw that big boobed chick on tv,but hey,I'm here now,right?
I mean that must count for something. Anyway look,I'm going to so and so place Tuesday (or whenever),and I want you to come with ME.




Now at this point,I don't know what she'll say. What i'm trying to get you to do here is to throw 3 or 4 different emotional hitting comments at her at the same time. The comparing her to the big boobed chick on tv is one,then you asking her out is another. I'm trying to get you to stack them back to back.

So I don't know which one she'll respond to first,you asking her out or the big boob comment. And it really doesn't matter. The whole point to this is to make her FEEL.


Once you stir up her feelings like this,you can pull back a bit and she'll start trying to contact you more.


Now let's say after you ask her out,she says she can't because she has to do whatever at the time you suggest. If she tells you she already has plans,TELL HER to break them.


Be like,"Oh,so you already have plans? So? Break'em. I want to see you".


If she says she can't and still resists,then be like,"Alright,well I'll talk with you later". Then end the call.



You have to understand the WHOLE POINT of this...

It's to stir her emotions. That's it,that's the WHOLE POINT. You may think it's to get a date with her,but it's not.


It's to stir up her feelings and create attraction in her. Once the attraction is there,the date will come EASILY.


That's why you're struggling with her. You're trying to get the date WITHOUT THE ATTRACTION.

Stop focusing on getting her to go out with you and focus on her emotions.

You do that,then she'll easily go out with you.