sageproduct's senior year field reports.

needstochange

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Everyone's hooked up with a fatty once or twice in their lifetime dude. F*ck it man. Just don't let her get on top lol. Or just let her give you BJ's.
 

sageproduct

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Lol thanks for the encouragement guys. I realized the only thing keeping me from going for it was really the thought of how other people would perceive me after finding out...but now I'm all about not giving a fwck what other people think of me, so that would be a poor reason.


Now I swear one day I'll have something more to report than text message convos, but...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Fatty

(after the events at the grad party, she texted me that night and I ignored it. no communication since then, that was a week ago)

I get a text from her around 7:30 asking what I'm doing tomorrow. I'm busy so I don't get a chance til like 10 to respond. Said I was workin, then she said she was gonna invite me to six flags. Damn.

Blah blah, fluff talk I was just talking to her normally like I would a friend right now. Then she mentioned leaving on Sunday for a few weeks. Without even thinking, I took the initiative:

Me: Aight let's do something when you get back tomorrow then
Her: ok what do you wanna do
Me: (immediately) You
Her: Hahaha cute
[I was playing some video games, didn't respond]
Her: sageproduct?
Me: You can come over I have something to show you
Her: And what's that?
Me: My rock collection :D
Her: Haha oh it's a collection now?
Me: Oh don't you wish you knew about it
Her: Sooo much
Me: Can you sing party in the USA? I learned it on guitar but I can't sing and play at the same time
Her: Haha yeah man
Me: Let's do it tomorrow I've been wanting to so bad
Her: Do what? Sing and play guitar?
Me: Yeah...get your mind outta the gutter :p
Her: Haha hey idk what you are talkin about all the time ;)
Me: when do you get back
Her: Um probs around 6 or 7
Me: K come at 8
Her: Ok :)



Ok during this conversation I thought I was being "so" sexual, but looking back I definitely could have ramped it up much more.


Anyway, tomorrow I plan on cutting the bullsh1t pretty much. I know she wants it, so I'm pretty much just gonna take her to my room, close the door, and push her on to my bed. Wooooooo time to fwck the fatty................:rock:
 

sageproduct

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Journal Entry and Fatty Update

Fatty Update--She was supposed to come over at 8 last night. At 7:45 I was doing something and had completely forgotten she was coming over, and she sent me a text saying she was still at six flags. I never responded.

Journal Entry

I need to take more initiative in my social interactions. I don't know why, but lately I've found myself reluctant to make the effort of meeting people. I was at 2 grad parties today and was at some point surrounded by strangers. Lately I've been just obsessed with this image of myself--an aloof, extremely high-value guy who is untouchable.

I feel like I'm just "overcompensating" because I still have memories of me as Mr. Nice guy who would always give everyone attention and try to make them feel good by talking to them and showing lots of emotion. I'm so sick of that old me who was glad to be everybody's b1tchboy that I'm just reveling now in being "too cool to even talk to you"

Well eventually I'm gonna get over that shadow of my past and be a better social guy-a little more outgoing, more fun-loving, and maybe even friendlier.
 

sageproduct

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Monday, June 21, 2010 - Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I'm an idiot.

Orientation

Yesterday and today I went to the two-day freshman orientation for the college I'm going to in the city next year. Obviously a chance to meet some girls. Here's how it went.

Day 1

I was in a group of about 15 people, almost all of them being multiracial guys and girls, people who I usually don't go near. My high school was predominantly white, so I socialized with almost only white guys, and only white girls.

So first day, I pretty much hated everyone in my group. Only two girls had any remote potential-one was an 8, a very cute brunette. Another was a 5.5, a girl who I found out pretty quickly smokes cigarettes. Nooooo way jose.

I was pretty antisocial through Day 1. It wasn't that I was so shy I couldn't open people; I kept feeling like I was "too cool" to talk to anyone. It's weird. Lately I've become arrogant as fwck.

I only spoke a few words here and there to the 8, let's call her Dee. Later on, I sat down next to her at one point and struck up a little conversation. Found out her sister lives in the country my parents were from, blah blah blah. Normal conversation for maybe 5 or 10 minutes. Vibed a little, she didn't seem that interested.

EVERY guy in our group was trying to hit on her, including the guy who was doing our orientation thing lol. I backed off her mostly and didn't give anything away to her to boost her ego. One guy was so AFC that what basically happened was she convinced him to go to a different college. WOW!!!

Day 2

Put my sh1t down at a random seat at the table my group was gonna sit at for breakfast, and when I came back Dee and the smoker girl were sitting on each side of me (I sat at the end of the table, so we were all facing the middle. Perfect angle for having a conversation.) Thanks to them for making it easy. Got a little better comfort with Dee while teasing the smoker girl a little on the side.

Told her a funny story about how my REALLY asian roommate for last night asked me if I am a "twinkie" (yellow on the outside, white on the inside...a whitewashed asian) and she started warming up. Now the entire first day, she kept b1tching about how she didn't like our school and how she wishes she could have gone somewhere else. As soon as she brought it up with me, I told her to cut it out and that she'd get over it. Talked a little more, told her I'd kick her a$$ in volleyball and made fun of her for being a nudist since the country she's from has a lot of nude beaches.

-Could have EASILY got some sexual tension/flirting going there, should have been easy if we were talking about nude beaches...it was really my mental state. I was being way too "chill" and not at all "seductive".

Then we saw a kid in our group sitting all by himself at another table...she pointed this out so I said "go sit with him," to which she said "we should go sit with him." I did NOT feel like getting up or complying with her suggestion, so I called out to the kid and told him to come sit with us. When I did this, she turned to me and said, "You're so nice." Now....this would be "gentleman" nice, not AFC nice, right??????

Now this whole time, I had still acted disinterested in her, very aloof, and the only kino was when our butts touched when we sat next to each other for something. There were a few times when I caught her looking at me (for a social reaction to something that happened) and I pretended not to notice. She did start to hold eye contact longer and longer during conversations, though. I myself was growing out of my antisocial mood into a more fun mood.

End of Day 2

After the breakfast convo where we kind of connected, I bounced around talking to other people while she did the same. Then I had to leave with another group for honors college. Didn't see her until it was literally time to go and everyone was saying goodbye. She was standing there on the phone when I walked by. She waved bye to me and we clasped hands? I walked right past her and up to this other dude I met to get his number to chill next year.

When I was done getting his number, Dee was off the phone. I asked if her phone had lots of batteries. She laughed, thinking I was making fun of her for using her phone all day. I told her I needed to use it to call my dad because my phone was dead. She let me use it, I called my pops to talk about what fwcking train and bus I was gonna take and all that sh1t. It was real confusing.

She told me she was getting picked up at some intersection, so I started walking her there, while still using her phone to talk to my dad. Probably took about 5-15 minutes total of like 2 or 3 calls for him to fwcking describe to me where to go. Since she lives in the city and kinda had an idea of the area, at one point she told me that the place I wanted to go was in the opposite direction that we were walking in, so I slowed down and stopped and so did she.

My dad was confusing the fwck outta me and talking fwcking quiet as hell since he was still at work, so I told Dee to pull up some maps on her phone and help me out. She did, and actually was much more helpful than my dad. I made a motion to start leaving and said, "Alright, I'll be fine. I'll walk there." She said, "Are you sure? It's kind of far..."

I STILL hadn't said anything commenting on her looks, I should have said something like "Well I'm not a cute, defenseless girl like you". Instead I just replied "yep". At last, time for goodbye. I said, "thank you so much for helping me. That was very kind of you. You deserve a hug." I hugged her, and was about to say something complimenting her smell, but didn't. Then I started walking the other way, and we looked back at each other. She hesitated as if she were waiting for something, then said "Ok...I guess I'll cya." I said, "yep cya."

I walked away grinning, until............

WAIT FWCK, I DIDN'T EVEN GET HER NUMBER! I did a gay-ass "hug close". Facebook WOULD be a possibility, but I deleted mine last week and told her that I did because it is a waste of time. I am NOT reactivating my Facebook just to get in touch with this girl.

I'm an idiot.
 

ARrocket

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Fail on your part, but don't worry about it too much man, sounds like you're going to a pretty big school, you'll meet tons of women. I recently stumbled upon this thread, I like the progress you've made, I look forward to seeing your college adventures. Just out of curiosity, where are you going to school?
 

sageproduct

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DJ_Hero said:
Sage, remember to make plenty of friends. Expand that social circle as far as it can go.

What happened with the fatty? I was hoping you fucked her :p
LOL about the fatty, she was supposed to come over at 8 on friday, at 745 I was doing something and had completely lost sense of time when I got a text from her saying she was still at six flags. I never responded. Sunday she left for vacation for...at least a few weeks? Monday she texted me "hey!" To which I never responded.

And yeah college man, can't wait to get started and make some friends...I'm gonna start a thread/FR/journal for that when I go off.

And Arocket I'm gonna pm you
 

sageproduct

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Just picked up a HUGE nerd, i don't know why...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

So I ended up at this female friend's grad party where I didn't like anyone there. Lately I've been turning into an antisocial a-hole in situations like that, so I forced myself to be social and joke around a little with the chumps instead of acting like I was fwcking James Bond.

There was a girl there I'll call Vera. Vera is a HUUUUUUGE nerd. By the way she walks and talks, you can EASILY tell she's a girl who reads books for fun, stays at home on the weekends, and doesn't socialize much (and when she does, only with other nerd chicks). However, there's nothing wrong with the way she looks, and she could definitely be as high as a 7 if she made an effort to make herself look hot.

Well my female friend and I played a game of bags against Vera and some other girl. Vera was on my side. I didn't really talk to her much during this time. Only thing I said I think was when we couldn't figure out who was going first, so I gave her a little grin and said "ladies first".

After that, everyone went inside and hung out for a bit. I pretty much sat there not saying much cuz all those chumps were just being chumps cracking their jokes that I don't find funny. I desperately thought of a way to get home, since my dad had dropped me off.

After about half an hour Vera was hugging everyone goodbye, so I went up to her and asked her for a ride, to which she enthusiastically replied "Sure!"

Surprisingly, we had a pretty good conversation in the car. It was a bit weird cuz she knew where I was going to college and whether I had taken a certain class this year even though I hadn't talked to her since 5th grade. Since she's a nerd, could just be that she has a REALLY good memory. She kept talking and talking. I started noticing that she was actually kind of nervous. I saw her head shaking a little bit, and her eyes kept darting around. How cute. It definitely gave me an easy sense of dominance.

Near the end of the car ride, I started debating whether or not to number close her. I really didn't think I was going to at first, but then I thought...why not? So when she pulled up at my house, I casually said, "Thanks for the ride. We should hang out." She responded positively, and I pulled out my phone and said "Let me get your number...here put it in." After she was done, she smiled at me and told me to have a nice night.



Never in a million years would I have guessed that I'd end the night number closing a big big nerd...but you know what? I guess I have a soft spot for nerd chicks, since nerd is what I've been for a very big portion of my life :D

DJ Applications
With this girl, I truly felt like I was the prize. I felt completely superior to her, and I felt like nothing I could do or say would mess me up. I gotta act this way with all girls.
 

sageproduct

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Ewww...I literally just finished brushing my teeth...


The Fatty

Check out my last post on the fatty for background info, but basically I got a text from her around 630 inviting me over to some girls house at 830. I hadn't spoken to her since my last post, so evidently she's back from her trip. I didn't really want to go, but at the last minute I decide that I've been too antisocial lately so I force myself to go. Since fatty invited me, I asked her for a ride via text, flirting a bit:

HEr:invite
Me: (hour later) HI
Her: Haha hey
Me: How was your trip
Her: It was really fun!
Me: Don't be TOO descriptive now :p
Her: Haha well it was show choir camp what more is there to say
Me: Ohhh nice when you leavin for (girl's house)?
Her: In a few
Me: You mind goin out of your way to pick up a VERY cool asian?
Her: Haha (asian friend of ours)?
Me: Ya exactly!!! He was too shy to ask a cute girl himself :)
Her: Aw no need to be shy!
Me: Haha when can you be here
Her: Why can't you drive? Be there in ten!

didn't respond.

She picked me up, I commented on how she was smelling...it was really strong and I gave her a grin and said "I like it". During the car ride, we didn't really flirt overtly, but she always batted her eyes and gave me long looks, etc.

Got to the girls house, hung out for 3 hours. Was boring except for a few good laughs. Was only me, fatty, host girl, another girl, and a couple AFC's came and left. I need to improve my AMOGing. Can't seem to keep attention on me, especially when the other guy is talking about some sh1t I honestly don't care about, but other people seem to.

Had a funny discussion about weird things we found attractive in the opposite sex, was kind of funny. Fatty couldn't come up with a single one. Also, fatty seems to like my jokes more than anyone else.

A couple of the girls started musing about why girls like a$$holes, to which I proceeded to explain to them that it's not really the a$$holes that they're attracted to, it's certain traits in a$$holes. They looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Wow you're a genius!" I smiled on the inside. One girl gave a list of unattractive traits, and she literally gave me a textbook definition of AFC straight from sosuave. She even said she likes a gentleman but not a wuss. The AFC guy goes, "What about if the guy is polite? Well-mannered?" I was laughing my heart out on the inside :crackup:

Later we went inside and watched a few youtube videos. I sat on the edge of the table while fatty sat in a chair right in front of me with her shoulder almost in my crotch. She deliberately leaned so that my leg was up against her body.

It was finally time to go home, she was going to drive me. When we first stepped out her door, we were silent. Sexual tension? I don't really know exactly what it's supposed to be, but I think I felt some. Maybe she did too as she broke the silence saying "Did you at least have SOMe fun tonight?"

I dispelled it by saying something like "Yeah, fun night." Could have revved it up by saying "Oh tonight's fun is only beginning". We got in the car, and what proceeded could easily be in a comedy movie or a sketch.

There was fatty and me, two inexperienced people trying to get their flirt on. At least the playing field was level. There was lots of silence. She turned on the music. At first I was thinking, "don't blabber and kill the mood", but then it got too silent and I thought "i can't just sit here quietly and then make out with her at the end". We made a little small talk in the beginning. Sh1tty @ss attempt at a conversation. I asked her when she was working, and where blah blah. was failing biiiiiig time.

Then a lightbulb went off in my head. I brought up that she never named a weird thing that she finds attractive in the opposite sex. She thinks for a while and says, "You know what I like? I like guys who wear red basketball shorts" (what I was wearing). I responded with, "Oh, and I like girls who wear red shirts that match my shorts" (yes, she was wearing a red shirt).

Then another tip came back into my head, the one about bringing a girl into a sexual state and then out of it, then back in. I'm probably analyzing molehills and dents instead of mountains and valleys, but I brought her out of the sexual state by commenting on some new house being built.

Soon after, we pulled up into my driveway. For some reason, I reached my hand over and put it on her bare leg, saying she felt cold. Then I softly instructed her to park her car. She did, and I said barely above a whisper, "come here."

Well, she certainly did "come here" and turned her face sideways and moved it into mine. You know in the movie Hitch where Will Smith says "you go 90, she goes 10?" well she definitely went more than 50 and forced her mouth on to mine.

It was fwcking horrible!! She smothered me. I felt her teeth a bunch of times. After about 5 or 10 seconds of her tonguing my mouth, I pulled away and said, "You better turn your headlights off." Then went back in on the other side.

Here I was really trying to make it better. You know that moment in the movies after two people kiss initially, and then all of a sudden they go crazy? For a second I tried to recreate that, but it just wasn't there. There was no passion, no feeling. I tried to make it more steamy by moving my hands on her back, then moving one behind her neck, while her hands stayed still around me. After maybe 10 seconds I gave up, pulled away, and told her I had to go. We basically just said "cya" and I left, which made me not enjoy the whole experience even more.

It seemed like there was no meaning in what I did. I just did it to do it. No passion, no attraction, no emotion. "Flying high"? Not even close. CPR probably would have been more passionate.

Almost right after I got home, I got a text from her saying "Let's keep that on the DL, okay?" I responded "I've told you before I don't kiss and tell"



EDIT: It is now an hour and a half after I kissed the fatty. As bad as it was, I kind of want to do it again...I might as well, honestly I need all the practice I can get
 

sageproduct

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BongDuy said:
Haha well that makes a good story. I would of went right for the boobies lmao, that always spices things up
Loool I almost regret doing it, she was like trying to eat my mouth the way I kept feeling her teeth so much. Maybe she thought there was a chocolate cake in there somewhere :)

Well looks like she didn't enjoy it much either, or knew I didn't or did it just to do it? I texted her the day after, probably the first time EVER I have initiated a text convo with her (she's EXTREMELY clingy and used to text me multiple times every fwcking day, would text "???" if I didn't respond, so even in my nice guy days I decided to jsut completely ignore her). Was just trying to make it seem like I cared at least a little, as well as gauge her interest a little. It was funny because the day before she told me she was going to six flags, but since I didn't pay any attention I forgot. I was teasing her, telling her not to lie to me about being outside, when she reminded me she was at six flags. Doh. lol.

The convo died down, and I haven't heard from her since. Guess she didn't like it either.


Happy 4th guys!!! And if you're british, fwck you!!!!!!! :D
 

sageproduct

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My Last Post
(in this thread)

Well, I'm off to college in a week or so. Just got back from a two-day camping trip with some friends and people I used to hang out with. I only have a tiny update that's "field report" ish. The bulk of this post will be DJ-minded stuff I noticed and just wrapping things up.

FR-ish update

Almost every girl on the trip was either my friend, uninteresting, nexted, or in a relationship, except for a girl I'll call HBOldFashioned. I had gone to school with this girl since elementary school, but had maybe spoken 10 words to her over 10 years. During the trip, I was just trying to have a good time and be social, not really gaming her or trying to DHV or anything.

The DHV did itself. Through the trip, I seemed to be really witty to everyone. It was one girl's birthday. I had brought my guitar and sang her this birthday song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuVsLR_2GX0
it was hilarious and everyone laughed their asses off. HBOldFashioned seemed to laugh at a lot of my jokes. I was around her a few times and we talked. Had a good conversation with her in the car when other people were around about school, future plans, etc.

I didn't make any moves on here. It seemed inappropriate. Large group setting--about 15 or 20 people. It would have showed a lack of social intelligence to hit on her, and I'm almost 100% sure she's not the type of girl I could isolate and k-close or something in that situation. I guess I could have isolated her at sometime to get more one-on-one time to build more attraction and comfort.

Didn't talk to her that much, but she usually laughed every time I said something witty, even if I was talking to someone else and she happened to be standing around.

At the end of the second day when everyone was saying goodbye, she told me to "feel free to let her know if I wanted to get coffee or something" (we're going to different colleges in a week, but in the same city). This really came out of nowhere, but I took it as an IOI and just turned it into a number close.

I think I might have messed up a little right after--we chatted a bit cuz we were walking to the cars, and I told her me and a guy we're friends with who's going to her school are hanging out when school starts and that I'd let her know so she could join. I probably should have just accepted her coffee offer! Or talked about doing something one-on-one. I felt like I hadn't talked to her and connected with her enough to show that kind of interest in her, so I opted to take it slow and indirect.

The more I think about it, the dumber I feel. She was clearly comfortable expressing one-on-one interest even with the lack of rapport we had, and she's the girl--I'm the man, so if she feels comfortable, I should be even more so.

Guess I just didn't want to seem too eager while we were in a group setting.

I told her I'd text her so she has my number and did. When I turned my phone back on(it was dying), she had responded "Got you stored". I didn't respond.

Other DJ Stuff

I rode in the car with three other girls on the way there and back, all really good friends. I connected with one of them REALLY well. Just felt really good to be able to relate to someone and talk about anything with them.

I found that one way of building rapport/comfort is just breaking the boundaries of what it's ok to talk about. With the three girls, I made random perverted comments here and there, to which they all laughed at with "I can't believe you said that!" looks on their faces. It made us all feel more comfortable, not the other way around. The one I got along the best with--hottest and coolest one--was just really fun because she basically acted like a dude in some ways. I even got her to show me a picture of her own sh1t that she had taken--just something good friends do.

Now I bring that up not to say that it's good to share embarrassing and gross things with people, but just to show that you connect with someone when you really expand the horizons of what is "okay".

Other thing was--there was a guy on the trip who's a HUGE ladies man. Every girl in our class thinks he's hot as hell, and he really is one of the coolest and nicest guys I know. He's been dating a really sweet girl who never badmouths anyone for about two years. On the car ride, the girls were talking about how hot he was for a sec until one mentioned that it seems he's a sh!tty boyfriend.

When asked to explain, she said that he always flirts with other girls right in front of her and talks to them and sh!t. Basically doing exactly what the DJ should do while in a relationship--keep that image of challenge. When I disagreed, saying it was ok for him to do that, all three girls turned on me immediately and said no. One talked about how if she's in a relationship, she wants her bf to devote ALL his attention to her and her only.

Need I say more besides the phrase "not knowing what they want"...? :D

I didn't bother much to argue after. I just smiled to myself.




Al Finale

Well, it's been great. I'm really glad I joined this site. Most importantly, it has made me a better and stronger man. I used to be a social ivy who had to cling on to others, an ultimate nice guy who actually tried to do favors for girls all the time, and a bit feminine in that I was easily offended and talked sh!t about people, even my friends, too much.

In the past year, I've gotten my first kiss and gained so much information about females that I have a strong sense of comfort and confidence in knowing what is going on. More importantly, I've grown into my own man--someone who does what he wants without giving a fwck what others think. I've learned true confidence and faith in myself. I've learned (or should I say re-learned) masculinity. I've learned to be honest with myself, and then with others. I've learned to only apologize when it's necessary--and when those necessary times are. I've learned what true kindness is--not being nice to someone because you expect something in return, but doing something nice because you want to help them or make them feel good. I've learned that only b!tches talk sh!t--I never badmouth anyone anymore, no matter how much I resent, disrespect, or am annoyed by them.

It sounds like I'm leaving the site--I am not.

To be continued...

Watch for my College FR thread in the Don Juan Discussion Forum--coming soon!
 

Kevansta

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Thanks for posting your high school FR man. I've been following since before i was a member here, and I've learned a ton from it. Learning from your mistakes, I've avoided countless situations in which I otherwise probably would've done the same as you did.

I'm gonna be starting senior year and its gonna be a blast, with a good deal of it thanks to you and your FR. You've definitely got a reader for your college FR.
 

Diaforetikos

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I love your journal man. I get to see someone grow right before my eyes. Its really cool. Especially since its positive growth.

Can't wait to see your college journal. I need to stop being lazy and update mine... Haha.

See ya around mate.
 
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