Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Ewww...I literally just finished brushing my teeth...
The Fatty
Check out my last post on the fatty for background info, but basically I got a text from her around 630 inviting me over to some girls house at 830. I hadn't spoken to her since my last post, so evidently she's back from her trip. I didn't really want to go, but at the last minute I decide that I've been too antisocial lately so I force myself to go. Since fatty invited me, I asked her for a ride via text, flirting a bit:
HEr:invite
Me: (hour later) HI
Her: Haha hey
Me: How was your trip
Her: It was really fun!
Me: Don't be TOO descriptive now
Her: Haha well it was show choir camp what more is there to say
Me: Ohhh nice when you leavin for (girl's house)?
Her: In a few
Me: You mind goin out of your way to pick up a VERY cool asian?
Her: Haha (asian friend of ours)?
Me: Ya exactly!!! He was too shy to ask a cute girl himself
Her: Aw no need to be shy!
Me: Haha when can you be here
Her: Why can't you drive? Be there in ten!
didn't respond.
She picked me up, I commented on how she was smelling...it was really strong and I gave her a grin and said "I like it". During the car ride, we didn't really flirt overtly, but she always batted her eyes and gave me long looks, etc.
Got to the girls house, hung out for 3 hours. Was boring except for a few good laughs. Was only me, fatty, host girl, another girl, and a couple AFC's came and left. I need to improve my AMOGing. Can't seem to keep attention on me, especially when the other guy is talking about some sh1t I honestly don't care about, but other people seem to.
Had a funny discussion about weird things we found attractive in the opposite sex, was kind of funny. Fatty couldn't come up with a single one. Also, fatty seems to like my jokes more than anyone else.
A couple of the girls started musing about why girls like a$$holes, to which I proceeded to explain to them that it's not really the a$$holes that they're attracted to, it's certain traits in a$$holes. They looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Wow you're a genius!" I smiled on the inside. One girl gave a list of unattractive traits, and she literally gave me a textbook definition of AFC straight from sosuave. She even said she likes a gentleman but not a wuss. The AFC guy goes, "What about if the guy is polite? Well-mannered?" I was laughing my heart out on the inside :crackup:
Later we went inside and watched a few youtube videos. I sat on the edge of the table while fatty sat in a chair right in front of me with her shoulder almost in my crotch. She deliberately leaned so that my leg was up against her body.
It was finally time to go home, she was going to drive me. When we first stepped out her door, we were silent. Sexual tension? I don't really know exactly what it's supposed to be, but I think I felt some. Maybe she did too as she broke the silence saying "Did you at least have SOMe fun tonight?"
I dispelled it by saying something like "Yeah, fun night." Could have revved it up by saying "Oh tonight's fun is only beginning". We got in the car, and what proceeded could easily be in a comedy movie or a sketch.
There was fatty and me, two inexperienced people trying to get their flirt on. At least the playing field was level. There was lots of silence. She turned on the music. At first I was thinking, "don't blabber and kill the mood", but then it got too silent and I thought "i can't just sit here quietly and then make out with her at the end". We made a little small talk in the beginning. Sh1tty @ss attempt at a conversation. I asked her when she was working, and where blah blah. was failing biiiiiig time.
Then a lightbulb went off in my head. I brought up that she never named a weird thing that she finds attractive in the opposite sex. She thinks for a while and says, "You know what I like? I like guys who wear red basketball shorts" (what I was wearing). I responded with, "Oh, and I like girls who wear red shirts that match my shorts" (yes, she was wearing a red shirt).
Then another tip came back into my head, the one about bringing a girl into a sexual state and then out of it, then back in. I'm probably analyzing molehills and dents instead of mountains and valleys, but I brought her out of the sexual state by commenting on some new house being built.
Soon after, we pulled up into my driveway. For some reason, I reached my hand over and put it on her bare leg, saying she felt cold. Then I softly instructed her to park her car. She did, and I said barely above a whisper, "come here."
Well, she certainly did "come here" and turned her face sideways and moved it into mine. You know in the movie Hitch where Will Smith says "you go 90, she goes 10?" well she definitely went more than 50 and forced her mouth on to mine.
It was fwcking horrible!! She smothered me. I felt her teeth a bunch of times. After about 5 or 10 seconds of her tonguing my mouth, I pulled away and said, "You better turn your headlights off." Then went back in on the other side.
Here I was really trying to make it better. You know that moment in the movies after two people kiss initially, and then all of a sudden they go crazy? For a second I tried to recreate that, but it just wasn't there. There was no passion, no feeling. I tried to make it more steamy by moving my hands on her back, then moving one behind her neck, while her hands stayed still around me. After maybe 10 seconds I gave up, pulled away, and told her I had to go. We basically just said "cya" and I left, which made me not enjoy the whole experience even more.
It seemed like there was no meaning in what I did. I just did it to do it. No passion, no attraction, no emotion. "Flying high"? Not even close. CPR probably would have been more passionate.
Almost right after I got home, I got a text from her saying "Let's keep that on the DL, okay?" I responded "I've told you before I don't kiss and tell"
EDIT: It is now an hour and a half after I kissed the fatty. As bad as it was, I kind of want to do it again...I might as well, honestly I need all the practice I can get