Question for the guys who are married/have been married.

[backbreaker]

no one wants to marry themselves. I dont' ****ing want to come home and see myself in the mirror lol. I want someone who is the polar opposite for hte most part than I am . Two of the exact same types is a resicpe for disaster. Adn that does not make me better than her or her better than me, we are different, it's yin yang. What the hell am I going to do with a woman working 60 hours a week at work, mes home and is too tired to cook dinner lol. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do, cheat. What am I going to do with a woman who has a temper like I have lol, besides throw her ass through a window sooner or later lol?

I could never date a woman who is as serious about work as I am, becuase I would drive myself into the ground and I'd be a miserable ****, just so we can have all this **** that we really don't want or need. I like comign home and not having to worry about dinner being cooked or the frig being stocked or the bills being paid, I like not having to baby sit my son becuase mommy is at work late today, the 3rd time this week.

 

[Slickster]

Some reasons why marriage gets such a bad rap.

1. Finding a woman worthy of marriage today is VERY difficult.
2. Most men don't know how to handle women at all.
3. This means that the majority of marriages are made up of unknowledgeable men marrying the wrong women.

No wonder so many marriages fail.

While no marriage is perfect there are good relationships and if you can make one work it can be rewarding.

I've said this before. If you want advice about relationships and marriage take it from men who have had success.

Listening to marriage advice from divorced people is like getting financial advice from someone who is bankrupt.

 

[TomSwift]

I've said this before. If you want advice about relationships and marriage take it from men who have had success.

Listening to marriage advice from divorced people is like getting financial advice from someone who is bankrupt.

Bad analogy. Marriages don't always end because one or the other spouse f*cked up in some way or let the relationship whither and die. Yes, that happens. But marriages also end because relationships evolve and people change. I would argue that it would be worse to take marriage advice from those who've been together 50 years but miserable for 30.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've said this before. If you want advice about relationships and marriage take it from men who have had success.

Listening to marriage advice from divorced people is like getting financial advice from someone who is bankrupt

I've never had any married man heartily recommend marriage to me. That includes the ones who have had happy (as far as I can tell) marriages lasting decades. My own father, who's had a great marriage and whose relationship with my mother is a model for me, tells me to keep living the single life. My mum's friend who's had a successful 43 years marriage (he and his wife are still awesome together) tells me don't get married, after seeing what's happened to his two sons.

You reckon they're better people to listen to than the typical "bitter old men" on SS?

On that note, this is my most favourite blog post recently from the Game blogsphere: http://solomongroup.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/proverb-27-how-women-age-beautifully/

In that, an old manly man, who's had a very successful marriage with a loving, beautiful wife, shares some golden wisdom with two young players. He told them to just bang the harlots they have nowadays and forget about getting married.

 

[The Assistant]

Being married is great, as long as it's with a girl who you love and who loves you, AND YOU BOTH ACT THAT WAY.

not SPEAK, but ACT.

Also, instead of having the piece of shyt goverment be in control of your marriage, I suggest that you have HER parents, YOUR parents, and 2 of your and her BEST friends sign the "marriage contract", and then you will be together forever, and not have to worry about the feminazi messed up court systems.

 

[Nutz]

Hi fellas, long time lurker here but I though I better get some thoughts on wether or not it is worth being married.

I've been with my girl now for nearly 3 years and we've been recently talking about getting married. The thing is as soon as the words 'marraige' popped up it became ALL about money. She was asking me 'What is your 3 year, 5 year, 10 plan? etc etc.' We're in an apartment right now but she's made it clear she would prefer a house eventually.

I said to her that marriage for women is all about security and love is secondary. Of course she gave the bs reply of 'no no darling it's about love first!' Whatever happened 'for richer or for poorer?' Seems like a load of crap to me.

I don't have a great job or anything like that but I'm happy to work but an average salary doesn't seem enough for her. Keep in mind this lady is very gentle and sweet and never argues or anything like that but it's amazing how it all became monetary when the subject or marraige came up - she's not even that materialistic actually.

Btw guys how do you guys manage to stay faithful when you're married? Is it hard? I'm not even 100% sure I can do this but I do want a family eventually and she is a great cook and doesn't whine often at all.

Thanks for reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated!

You're a ****ing idiot if you get married in this day and age. /thread


There isn't one damn thing being married offers that a live-in girlfriend cant, aside from the possibility of alimony and losing half your worldly possessions and a 1/3 of all future income.

 

[Jitterbug]

In my country, you have to kick your live-in GF out before the 2 year mark, else you might as well marry her.

 

[Slickster]

Bad analogy. Marriages don't always end because one or the other spouse f*cked up in some way or let the relationship whither and die. Yes, that happens. But marriages also end because relationships evolve and people change. I would argue that it would be worse to take marriage advice from those who've been together 50 years but miserable for 30.

True, but I was meaning try to take advice from people who are happy, positive and successful in their relationships rather than bitter, negative failures.

Usually there are two people to blame in any failed relationship. Usually each person blames the other and takes none of the responsibility themselves. These people rarely have good advice in my opinion.

 

[Slickster]

I've never had any married man heartily recommend marriage to me. That includes the ones who have had happy (as far as I can tell) marriages lasting decades. My own father, who's had a great marriage and whose relationship with my mother is a model for me, tells me to keep living the single life. My mum's friend who's had a successful 43 years marriage (he and his wife are still awesome together) tells me don't get married, after seeing what's happened to his two sons.

You reckon they're better people to listen to than the typical "bitter old men" on SS?

On that note, this is my most favourite blog post recently from the Game blogsphere: http://solomongroup.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/proverb-27-how-women-age-beautifully/

In that, an old manly man, who's had a very successful marriage with a loving, beautiful wife, shares some golden wisdom with two young players. He told them to just bang the harlots they have nowadays and forget about getting married.

Sure because most married men aren't happy for the same reasons I listed previously. (Despite the length of the marriage) Like Tom Swift said they may have been together for 50 years and miserable for 30.

The grass is always greener for everyone. Some of those old married couples who recommend never getting married would probably be lonely and depressed if they split with their spouses. I know a few of those. Initially they go nuts with their new found freedom but it soon comes crashing down.

I'm not trying to say that marriage is great or everyone should do it. Just trying to get the point across that there are good marriages out there. Also you shouldn't only listen to people who made big mistakes choosing the wrong woman and not knowing how to deal with women in the first place.

 

[BobMo']

Bible_Belt wrote:
'Where do you live? The law aspect is always interesting to me. Most of men's pain from divorce comes from child support, and it is typical for the woman to get the kids and the man to pay 25-50% of his income in child support. In contrast, spousal alimony is much more rare. Only if one spouse has no income and depends upon the other is it typically granted, and even then for a limited time, a year or two. Alimony clauses are often placed in pre-nups to make them fair agreements.'

If you read my comment carefully, I said "wife and kids." However, where I used to live while married, the State requires that child support extend to until 23 years of age, if they're in college. It's an absolutely unconstitutional law (violating the equal protection clause, imo), because guys whose children don't go to college are off the hook (the legal term is "emancipation') when the child is 18. A significant part of my income is being taken by a woman who doesn't pay taxes on it, (I do that for her, too), and has no obligation or accountability to spend a red cent on the kid.

I survive through it by telling myself that I'm better than her.

 

[BobMo']

Slickster wrote:
"I've said this before. If you want advice about relationships and marriage take it from men who have had success.

Listening to marriage advice from divorced people is like getting financial advice from someone who is bankrupt."

Bullsh1t.

 

[romangod]

I've said this before. If you want advice about relationships and marriage take it from men who have had success.

Listening to marriage advice from divorced people is like getting financial advice from someone who is bankrupt.

What is success? A guy could blab how great his marriage is going and the wife can blow it up the next day. I guess his advice wouldn't mean **** then. It's only a success in the present. The future hasn't been written yet.

This has happened to many friends of mine. What they felt and looked like a success came crashing down on them when they thought they were in the clear. The sad part is the financial ruin of starting over again in their 50s. Retirement is a pipe dream.


Secondly, your analogy is horrible. Many of the richest men had been through bankruptcy before hitting it big. I'd take financial advice of what not to do from someone that lost it all to a Madoff than a punk that made $200 on a penny stock. You learn more from your defeats than your victories.

Cheers!

 

[DropZone3]

Guide to a sucessful marriage

Guide to a happy marriage:


Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.

They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.

Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known “happy going marriage”.
Editor: “Sir. It’s amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? ”

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:

“We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.

Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.

My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse’s back and said “This is your first time”.

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

This time she again kept calm and said “This is your second time” and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: “What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?” ..

She gave a silent look and said: “This is your first time!!!”.”

Husband:”That’s it. We are happy ever after.

Source: The Joke Diary!

 

[zekko]

I do not believe in government involvement in my personal relationships

I don't like it either, but unfortunately they're a factor whether you want them to be or not. As I stated in my previous post, if I don't marry my LTR at some point before my death, any inheritance she receives from me will be heavily taxed.

Health insurance is another issue. Not having children, my spouse and I were able to keep seperate "single" health plans, just as I and my LTR do. It's been cheaper that way, so far at least.

When you sign a contract, it goes from CHOICE, to OBLIGATION

They say once you put a ring on her finger, she changes. She starts to think she owns you. I do think there's some truth to that.

[QUOTE-sixersfan]In my brother's case he had it good as his wife was more concerned with work than being a housewife so she had plenty to offer as she had a good head on her shoulders.[/QUOTE]
You mean your brother divorced HER because she wouldn't stay home and be a housewife? That sounds strange since usually women initiate divorce. And as you said, he could have retired early. Sounds like he messed up to me.

 

[Tazman]

They say once you put a ring on her finger, she changes. She starts to think she owns you. I do think there's some truth to that.

More than you know, lol. A co-worker of mine would tell me stories about his soon-to-be wife and some of the difficulties he had dealing with her (nothing too major, typical annoying female stuff). They had an argument about something, but in a nutshell, he was pissed off, sleeping on the couch and had enough.

He wrote her an email and at the end said he didn't think marriage was going to work for them because they can't see eye-to-eye on things.

The following week I see him and he tells me they had a good discussion and worked things out, lol. Essentially, she became "agreeable" once he threatened to call off the marriage. They're now married, but now that he's on the hook, I guarantee she's not going to be nearly as compromising. However, since he's been with her she's gained a lot of weight so that in itself means she'll probably stick around because she's not exactly attracting any higher caliber men, and he's no Bill Gates.

 

[runner83]

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/the-lover-the-wench-and-the-cuckold/

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/the-lover-the-wench-and-the-cuckold-part-2/

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/the-lover-the-wench-and-the-cuckold-part-3/

Any woman, no matter who they are, is prey to their emotions, and may very well end up banging some other dude.

If you have any doubts whatsoever, it is bound to end, and it won't be in your favour.

 

[Slickster]

I am not interested in using women, or men, as a scapegoat for all my problems. I simply want to learn how to deal with the opposite sex the best way I can, to understand and not blame, to accept and not chastise, to be prepared and attackt and not whine.

Great post backbreaker. You continue to impress.

 

[Colossus]

I had a talk with two of my buddies about this subject last night. They both looked at me like I had two heads. Like none of these contingencies had ever crossed their minds. My one friend's argument with regards to a prenup was that it COULD plant a seed of mistrust that may later grow to something more serious. I think there is merit to that. Tough call really. We could debate marriage/no marriage all day. In the end you gotta take your own path.

 

[azanon]

My life would be SO much tougher if i were single. I laugh in my favorite poster's face (RT) when I see him opine that the only advantage of marriage is help with kids. Hell, in my case, I could make an itemized list of at least 40 benefits I'd lose if I weren't married to my wife, and these wouldn't be things the Judge would take from me. And I assure you that none of the items I'd list would be accomplished by a single woman (unless, maybe, she was a paid maid).

In a marriage someone always makes out better than the other compared to when they were single. One of SS's fatal flaws is always assuming that it is the man. I'll just be straight up; at best I'm at parity with my wife. But she is probably the better person. And that's saying a lot because I'm no average joe.

Men often DO lose a lot in a divorce; that much SS gets right. But rarely is the worst lost half of one's money if, for no other reason, because so many people are broke anyway as they live paycheck to paycheck. And if there was any kind of parity in the relationship (a DJ would insist on it), then half is about what she deserves.

And for the guy who's worried about having to "support" his own flesh and blood till he's/she's 18 i say, wtf is wrong with you. Grow some character. We really are a sorry lot that it takes a judge telling us that we have to financially support our own children. I'd do this anyway.

As for staying faithful in a marriage, Rollo Tomassi says it best (I'm sure he'll chime in on this thread at some point). When a man marries, he sacrifices every future potential lay to be with one woman. A woman never fully appreciates how much a man must sacrifice to be with her and only her. Are you willing to do that for your woman?

I have news for you if you can keep a secret. About 1/3rd of married men are laughing at you at this perceived limitation. At least 1/3rd more are totally ok with this because they have adversions for drama, herpes, unwanted pregnancies with strange women, or any number of other distractions.

I was reading an article linked straight from cnn.com just the other day about how many people do not necessarily equate marriage with exclusiveness.

 

[dante25]

I think there is a bit of a fallacy with the concept of not wanting to grow old alone. My grandpa and uncle have both been married 3 times and never divorced. Their previous wives passed away from cancer, ect... and they never had any problems finding women when they were ready. I think this goes to show that there will always be divorced,single, and widowed women looking for men. In many of these cases these women are probably ok with a long term non-marital relationship. My uncle and Grandpa married these women because they were old fashioned and never considered the options.

It seems to me that the older you get the more women are out there. If you are afraid of being lonely, I just don't see the logic of that personally.

I'm kind of in between myself. Been divorced, ok with never marrying again but part of me wants kids and is still open to it in the right circumstance. I agree with the posters that if I make that decision it is a huge sacrifice.