Potential wife past sexual history

[pipeman84]

@pipeman84 that's not true. It was the right choice at the time, but people can change and grow apart despite their best efforts.

There are NO guarantees a relationship or even a marriage will work out.

The bolded part I think happens in a minority of cases. More often than not, deep down the woman knew he wasn't the right guy. Most times she admits it herself AFTER the relationship is over. I have a player friend who had a girl very in love with him, he was honest and told her he can't be with her and she still pursued him and got alpha widowed by him. Now she's married and has a kid with a different guy. I pity the fool to quote Clubber Lang in Rocky 3.

Of course there are no guarantees in life, but here we're talking about stacking the odds in your favor.

Doesn't mean it was a poor choice, not if they learned something valuable from the experience which ideally we all should.

Some things should just be default knowledge...like for instance you don't get into street fights or physically abuse your woman...some men need a few prison stints before they learn this lesson. Which one do your prefer, the one with a lengthy prison record or the one with no record?

 

[pipeman84]

But what guarantee do you have that the # 5 she's telling you in the right number?

That's why you date her for at least 2 yrs before considering marriage (in a legal sense) and kids. Truth can't be hidden for that long.

I also think comparing a woman who's shared sexually intimacy with a serious boyfriend prior to you to an ex-con is an unfair comparison.

How is that? Good girls learn either through getting in touch with their femininity and/or through good upbringing no to give in to first impulse and to not open their legs to first guy who sweet talks them.
It's the same with boys, the good ones learn by the time they are under the age of legal responsibility that fighting and violence is bad.
Humans are not perfect and there are special circumstances, but when there's a pattern it's not the circumstances but the man or the woman.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Sweet baby Jesus…these threads make my eyes bleed.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I didnt believe in fairytales either. But when you are with the right person, d@mn bro, that´s as close as you will get.

 

[Dr.Suave]

See my previous post.

Again, life is not a Disney fairytale where Cinderella (virginal, pure and innocent) lives happily ever after with Prince Charming.

No guarantees, ever. Despite love, loyalty, and best efforts.

I am married and even I don't believe that.

Maybe not happily ever after but I will take "happily as long as possible".

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I didnt believe in fairytales either. But when you are with the right person, d@mn bro, that´s as close as you will get.

Until it isn’t…not black pill by any means, but the longest I’ve been able to have that is 4 years.

I can genuinely say with no hesitation whatsoever that no woman (i wanted a life with) has loved or cared for me the way I did for them.

Every scar on my heart was put there by someone who “loved me”.

Solution? Float like a caddy and sting like a beemer.

#MostlyJaded

 

[Dr.Suave]

Until it isn’t…not black pill by any means, but the longest I’ve been able to have that is 4 years.

I can genuinely say with no hesitation whatsoever that no woman (i wanted a life with) has loved or cared for me the way I did for them.

Every scar on my heart was put there by someone who “loved me”.

Solution? Float like a caddy and sting like a beemer.

#MostlyJaded

Mmmhhh that´s interesting: My previous LTR lasted 4+ years and my current LTR feels better in every way. If this dosnt work out I will probably give up on marriage/kids.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I would hazard a guess that I’m at least two decades older than you are. I’ve seen a lot, experience is a harsh teacher.

Everyone experiences life differently since we’re all unique in one way or another. Our reality is shaped by our history. Hell maybe I’m in manopause, eh.

I still love me some wimmenz though.

Mmmhhh that´s interesting: My previous LTR lasted 4+ years and my current LTR feels better in every way. If this dosnt work out I will probably give up on marriage/kids.

 

[pipeman84]

What makes you think a woman's first serious boyfriend was the first guy who sweet talked her?

He could be the 20th guy, but they fell in love and had a relationship including sex.

Despite their best efforts, they grew apart and ended relationship.

And she's now damaged goods because of it?

Every act has consequences. I'm not here to throw stones, I just expressed my preferences and tried as best as I could to give arguments for them. As you see, even in this thread, people are diverse and what I and others consider deal breakers as far as marriage material is concerned, others don't care; it's good that the world is like this. I believe in the end like attracts like.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Thanks for clarifying that your post isn't about me, but it kinda is since you quoted me.

In any event, I'm not offended.

Since high school, I've had four LTRs before I recently got married.

I've always been a "relationship girl" and I've learned and grown from each and every one of them.

Each and every experience I've had eventually led me to my husband from whom I'm still learning and growing, as a woman and human being.

I think there's a massive difference between a woman being a slvt and having a few serious LTRs under her belt, but I know there are men who prefer virgins and that's fine, no judgment. To each his own.

I'm glad my hubs isn't one of them though.

Other than the men in those four LTR's, how many other guys have you had sex with since high school? (I'm assuming you are in your 30's)

 

[Dr.Suave]

I would hazard a guess that I’m at least two decades older than you are.

I'm mid 30s

 

[Bokanovsky]

I've heard another user put it brilliantly...there's city miles (slvts) and highway miles (LTRs)...in the end it's still high mileage, we can debate which is worse.

One the flip side, a crash at highway speeds is going to have far more serious repercussions than an inner-city fender bender. A woman with multiple failed LTR is going to have severe psychological damage, regardless of whether or not she is a slut.

 

[pipeman84]

One the flip side, a crash at highway speeds is going to have far more serious repercussions than an inner-city fender bender. A woman with multiple failed LTR is going to have severe psychological damage, regardless of whether or not she is a slut.

Very well said. Actually this is an AHA moment I've had during the past 2 months reading this forum and mulling it over. Before that I was weary of sluts, divorced women, single moms (no brainer really) as no candidates for LTR. Then I suddenly realized...a woman who's been in 4 LTRs by the time she's 28 but never signed a piece of paper called marriage certificate gets a clean pass while the one who signed it and then divorced is bad? So I upgraded my radar, so to speak.

 

[2Rocky]

I still don't see many guys deciding to turn Mormon and move to Utah to find their perfect blonde virgin.

https://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/mormon-sexuality-zm0z12mjzros/


It is not consistent with the approach that you as a man will have a hedonistic, low investment sexual life until a certain point and then "settle down"

 

[Dr.Suave]

I still don't see many guys deciding to turn Mormon and move to Utah to find their perfect blonde virgin.

https://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/mormon-sexuality-zm0z12mjzros/


It is not consistent with the approach that you as a man will have a hedonistic, low investment sexual life until a certain point and then "settle down"

She doesnt have to be a perfect Blonde virgin, a virgin that pases the boner test is good enough

 

[The Duke]

Why would anyone want a wife these days? I get having kids, but the deck is stacked against you. We've let women run wild in the streets, and they have damaged themselves. I think you will need to give up looks to get a good woman that makes a good wife.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Why would anyone want a wife these days? I get having kids, but the deck is stacked against you. We've let women run wild in the streets, and they have damaged themselves. I think you will need to give up looks to get a good woman that makes a good wife.

There could be exceptions but on most cases, yes, I agree. She doesnt have to be a 10. As long as she passes the boner test Im good.

 

[Velasco]

I have always chosen my female friends and the men I have relationships with very carefully and prudently

five years ago I was in a completely different headspace than I am now. I was just coming off a LTR with an alcoholic/drug addict who I was madly in love with at the time and addicted to.

He was about as unstable as one could get

Not carefully enough apparently

 

[pipeman84]

That's a good catch @Velasco . So @catsmeow2 you shot yourself in the foot before our very eyes. What was that about learning and growing? You've gone through 3 LTRs and all that learning lead you to a drug addict/alcoholic? Hmm...

I am rather proud of my history, I have nothing to be ashamed of.

So being in a LTR with a drug addict/alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of and in your perception didn't saddle you with baggage.

 

[pipeman84]

Why would anyone want a wife these days? I get having kids

For the great experiences and joy and growing it can bring. It's a bit like asking why go to a gym? With all the fat people, slobs, lack of time etc why bother? Because life is much better in a healthy, vibrant, good looking body.