Potential wife past sexual history

[Barrister]

Yeah OK @Barrister I'll think about why I'm here however you might consider why you and some others become SO emotionally triggered by my posts, and if they have no value to you, why not simply ignore?

Would that not be the most logical thing to do rather rather than waste time and energy responding with your protracted analysis on why I don't belong here?

Re my "advice" I'm curious what you find so 'wrong' and distasteful about it and again why it emotionally triggers you and some others?

I mean wtf, since when did being resilient, picking your ass up and carrying on after a break up, learning and growing from the experience become wrong? Which has been the essence of my posts on this thread, and some others.

If a man had posted that, you'd be applauding him. It's what mature evolved people do for chrissakes.

Not wallow and and carry the mindset and negative energy that there must be something "wrong" with you, referring to one of your posts about men and criticising me (and women in general) for not "owning " that and choosing instead to see the glass half full and learning from the experience. Lord.

You and the other poster who continually becomes ridiculously unhinged at my presence here but yet won't block are not the only men here.

For context I have received many DM's thanking me for my posts/advice, which I find interesting since they do so in DM's and not on the forum where others can see.

But whatever, I DO appreciate the validation, I own it and not ashamed of it.

I'm happy that what I have learned over the years has helped someone else in some small way, yes it makes me feel good knowing that.

If you find that wrong or "solipsistic" so be.

Anyway, I have said my piece on this thread. And will continue to post if I feel it might have value and help someone else in a positive way.

Ciao.

No one is "emotionally triggered" here. I am simply explaining to you why you rub a lot of the guys here the wrong way. And your response here is consistent with your normal response when someone points it out to you. And you are glossing over the fact, continually, that this is a MEN's forum you are on. A forum with a very large segment dedicated to rooting out validation-seeking behavior from women and teaching men how to recognize it and put a stop to it. I think that is highly relevant to why you are getting negative reactions.

And why would I block you? Not like I am losing sleep over your presence here. I don't have anything personally against you - but I think you try to paint it that way for some unknown reason.

 

[2Rocky]

All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.

 

[Dr.Suave]

All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.

I don't disagree. You make some good points bro. But theres Guys here who are very Nice (perhaps too Nice) to catsmeow and beexcellent, and they still can't find a Quality girl.

 

[2Rocky]

I don't disagree. You make some good points bro. But theres Guys here who are very Nice (perhaps too Nice) to catsmeow and beexcellent, and they still can't find a Quality girl.

The vast majority are argumentative.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes being a virgin is important. Submission is even more important than past promiscuity. The ability to be submissive is not necessarily correlated to notch count. I used to think it was until I dated 2 virgins. They were a headache. They were very stubborn and did not take guidance. The stubbornness they used to hold on to their virginity is the same stubbornness they will use to defy you. I rather have an agreeable past sl*t than a stubborn virgin.

Also, good luck in finding a girl with a less than 10 man notch count in the West. Its almost impossible. If they are attractive its even more impossible. It does bother me a lot that most girls have double digit notch counts but this is what we have to deal with.

It's not. And if that is the mindset guys have, that they need to find a virgin they are delusional and this may be a form of mental illness, IMHO

Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.

 

[Velasco]

so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.

This is why I'd prefer her to have 1-2 previous partners. Virgins (referring to the good looking young ones, after you've slept with them) these days are too curious about what else is out there, even if your the best she could get.

 

[Dr.Suave]

It's not. And if that is the mindset guys have, that they need to find a virgin they are delusional and this may be a form of mental illness, IMHO

I had a bachelors degree by 20, a few post graduates degrees by 25. Relatively succesful job/career. But yeah, I Might have a bunch of mental illness for all I know. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

Also, "need a virgin" is a bit strong. I been in LTR with non virgins. I dont need virgins, I prefer them. It turns me on knowing she has never had sex with anyone else (due tu all my mental illness, I guess)

Man, Im kind of agreeing with everyone today. I must be having a good day.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.

I think this is a valid point. Though I'm not touting the virgin mantra, I find it a turn on knowing I'm more experienced and showing a girl things, as opposed to being with one that's seen it all, and not impressed with anything... You even strive to be the best sexually with the women you're with.... How can some of these men do this who are very late bloomers and their only pool is women who have seen it all? They can't...

 

[member160761]

All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.

lel imagine discussing with a woman about anything, especially online.

 

[pipeman84]

Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.

Men with this kind of reasoning are a perfect match to women like catsmeow2 who argue that after 4 LTRs she's as pure as Snow White. So it's win-win.

This is why I'd prefer her to have 1-2 previous partners. Virgins (referring to the good looking young ones, after you've slept with them) these days are too curious about what else is out there, even if your the best she could get.

So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?

 

[Velasco]

So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?

I'd rather have a girl that is with me comfortably knowing I'm the best she could get Vs be with one always wondering if I am or not?

 

[pipeman84]

I'd rather have a girl that is with me comfortably knowing I'm the best she could get Vs be with one always wondering if I am or not?

Yeah, but how does saying 'I love you' and giving her pvssy to 2 guys before you convince her that you're the lucky no. 3, the best there is? In return for the pvssy those 2 guys gave her emotional baggage that wasn't there when she was a virgin and now you have to deal with.

 

[pipeman84]

Come on man, play fair. I never claimed to be pure as Snow White, I never claimed to be pure at all.

That was a figure of speech to give a lighthearted tone to the message.

 

[Fruitbat]

Me, personally, I would not marry a girl who has had someone else´s d1ck inside her. There could be exceptions, (maybe she´s like my favorite Hollywood actress or something) but those exceptions would be as rare as finding and pulling a virgin who passes the boner test in the 1st place.

It took me decades and a lot of patience and self improvement but I did manage to find and pull someone I think is worthy of marriage. Im planning on putting a ring on it sometime next year.

All that being said, some (most?) guys just dont care that much about the girl not being a virgin. Its not a deal breaker for them. I will never understand it, but I wont judge them or anything. To each his own.

interesting. I’ve never understood the virgin thing beyond the fact that virgins are usually younger and therefore more likely to be pretty.

the concept of another man having screwed her doesnt bother me.

Is it more of a “yuck” thing or is it more of a kind of ego thing (ie I got where nobody else could)?
My wife had 3 apparently (probs 6 based on chick logic) but I am well over 20 so don’t really care.

in fact I would worry a chick who I married a virgin would a ) be totally sexually incompatible or b) decide at 30 she’s made an error and needs to live and then start with the gym instructor - very common.

what I wouldn’t like is if she had a real history - like getting ploughed by 6 guys, or having been regarded as a bike at some point in the past.

if she’s just had a few boyfriend, I couldn’t care less.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Men with this kind of reasoning are a perfect match to women like catsmeow2 who argue that after 4 LTRs she's as pure as Snow White. So it's win-win.


So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?

I don't want a woman pure as snow white. I want a woman who knows how to fvck.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think this is a valid point. Though I'm not touting the virgin mantra, I find it a turn on knowing I'm more experienced and showing a girl things, as opposed to being with one that's seen it all, and not impressed with anything... You even strive to be the best sexually with the women you're with.... How can some of these men do this who are very late bloomers and their only pool is women who have seen it all? They can't...

I want a woman who thinks she knows what great sex is and doubts my very open sexual confidence and said she has heard it before to be blown away by my skills. And they often times are more blown away than I thought they would be.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Is it more of a “yuck” thing or is it more of a kind of ego thing (ie I got where nobody else could)?

Maybe a bit of both? Im not sure

 

[Fruitbat]

Maybe a bit of both? Im not sure

fair enough. Each to their own. I totally get not wanting a woman who’s been around, but the concept of virgin per se I’m kind of neutral on. I suppose it’s preferred.

i think a lot of it would be that it puts an intense amount of pressure on you. The first time is not going to be some awesom fk, it’s going to be some cheesy romantic romcom shyt and you’re not going to be able to smash like you normally would, and I HATE that kind of romantic sexhs. It’s like removing all the fun and joy from it and turning it into some profound thing, which to me, sex isn’t.
it’s always been functional to me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I had a bachelors degree by 20, a few post graduates degrees by 25. Relatively succesful job/career. But yeah, I Might have a bunch of mental illness for all I know. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

Also, "need a virgin" is a bit strong. I been in LTR with non virgins. I dont need virgins, I prefer them. It turns me on knowing she has never had sex with anyone else (due tu all my mental illness, I guess)

Man, Im kind of agreeing with everyone today. I must be having a good day.

Plenty of functional alcoholics that go into work everyday and do their jobs perfectly fine too. That doesn't really prove much.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

dude, seriously do you have to be so crass?

Yeah, but how does saying 'I love you' and giving her pvssy to 2 guys before you convince her that you're the lucky no. 3, the best there is? In return for the pvssy those 2 guys gave her emotional baggage that wasn't there when she was a virgin and now you have to deal with.