"Open the door or Take me back to my car"

[Zarky]

Maybe his goal was to get laid IF it did not compromise his principles. I don't think any dude here has the goal of getting laid at all costs.

Nobody here has the right to judge another man's principles. We can help him if he's trying techniques that are ineffective, but if the guys says "No" to a woman, it's the height of arrogance for anyone here to tell him he was "wrong" for choosing to follow those principles rather than get laid.

I have a feeling that the OP said "No" to the woman because her b|tchy attempt to control him turned him off so completely that he lost interest in her and didn't care anymore. Happens to me all the time. In fact, that's part of being choosy. Unfortunately as my previous post suggested, he fell into the trap of actually answering her question rather than either changing the subject or telling her to GTFO right then and there.

 

[Kailex]

My question is:

Why are you going out with a woman 11 years your senior and then... taking her seriously with such comments?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Why are you going out with a woman 11 years your senior and then... taking her seriously with such comments?

Exactly.

No 29 y.o. Man should ever put more effort into gaming a 40 y.o. woman beyond what it takes to get her liquored up on apple martinis and end up back at her place while it's her ex-husband's weekend with the kids.

TEACHA, what you fail to grasp is that AMOKA's doing her the favor by taking her sexuality seriously long after she's hit the wall and had any reasonable expectation of anything resembling gentlemanly behavior. There is no possibility (or expectation) of anything more than sex.

 

[vatoloco]

Hahaha! You never fight with a woman you silly! You take whatever it is that she says, turn it around and make a big funny out of it!

"Will you open the door for me?"
"Sure thing sweetheart! Will you make me a sandwich? "

"Will you open the door for me?"
"What's in it for me!?" [with a wink and a smile]

"Will you open the door for me?"
[turn around to face her] "Who are you and what are you doing in my car!?"

And of course, be a gentleman with your dates.

 

[mrRuckus]

Cougar: "Alright, if you're not going to open the door for me, then take me back to my car."
Amoka: "Sound good" I took her to her car.

Why?

 

[Nkognito]

Seems pretty open and shut to me. I am 33, was just with a 40 year old and I opened the doors from the get go. I drive a jeep wrangler and my doors require a little elbow grease to open so, I dont want her messing up her nails or hurting herself trying to.

But looking at the situation, I would have open the door at the hint, not when she asked. Have to pick up on that quicker. I would have open the door to the car, open the door to the apartment, then opened her legs in the bed. It's not rocket science. Granted I won't pull her chair out or anything that just seems over the top.

I mean look at the obvious, she's 40, he's 29. We all know this was nothing more than a casual sex fling. Unless he is serious about this girl which I doubt then the next time he is kissing her and it tastes funny then it's probably the AFC she saw the night before and it tastes funny because he opened the door :crackup:

 

[teacha]

So, to you - a woman sh!t testing a man means she has no true interest in him??? A woman asking you if you'd open her car door for her is a woman who is clearly not interested in someone?

Well d@mn.... I've never had a woman interested in me in my whole life.

WTF? Seriously? You need your head checked if you believe that.


This is a basic sh!t test. Nothing more.

The ONLY reason she asked for him to open her door was just to see if he would compromise his principles for her. She only did it because he said he doesn't open doors for women. If she really liked him she could have just let it go and respected his views but NO, she had to pull up that my way or the highway stunt just to see how badly he wanted to get some.

Now i know you guys are saying he could have gone the C&F way and just dodged the whole question altogether but understand this: if a woman really likes you, she will work with you. This wasn't a shit-test but a fvcked up POWER-MOVE on her part.

It's not a hard concept to comprehend, if I have the intent purpose to do something and I fail to do that particular something then I have failed.
fail.ure
n
1.The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends.
2.The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment.

You guys see failure, i see a man who would not compromise his principles just to get laid. Like Zarky said:

Maybe his goal was to get laid IF it did not compromise his principles. I don't think any dude here has the goal of getting laid at all costs. Nobody here has the right to judge another man's principles. We can help him if he's trying techniques that are ineffective, but if the guys says "No" to a woman, it's the height of arrogance for anyone here to tell him he was "wrong" for choosing to follow those principles rather than get laid

Sure, he could have gone the c&f way and opened her door just to get his dvck wet but at what cost? losing his integrity? compromising his ethics? I'll rather die on my feet than live on my knees. Like Tony Montana said: all i got in this world is my balls and my word I don't break them for nobody.

Im pretty sure each and everyone got their own set of principles they are not willing to break for any woman so why can't you respect his? She should have just respected his views towards chilvary and just let the sleepings dogs lie. Like Pook said, RESPECT IS ALL.

 

[cordoncordon]

You guys see failure, i see a man who would not compromise his principles just to get laid. Like Zarky said:

I never knew being a gentleman and opening a car door for a lady is some sort of principle that was being violated. What other principles do you have? Refusing to open the door for the old lady at the grocery store? Telling the local girl scout troupe that is selling their cookies to F off?

Just a guess here, but are you a wigger? Are you a white suburban kid trying to be all ghetto and tough? You sound like it.

 

[bigjohnson]

I never knew being a gentleman and opening a car door for a lady is some sort of principle that was being violated. What other principles do you have? Refusing to open the door for the old lady at the grocery store? Telling the local girl scout troupe that is selling their cookies to F off?

Just a guess here, but are you a wigger? Are you a white suburban kid trying to be all ghetto and tough? You sound like it.

I agree with what you said, but I have to admit, much like giving to charity, being a gentleman is a lot less rewarding if it's expected and/or required. In the OP case I would have likely answered her question with a question but it's surely a sour note, and would be a little off-putting.

Of course a lot of it has to do with how she says it just as much as what she says. Maybe she was being playful and he was being a cock, or maybe she was being a bitch. Hard to tell in this format.

 

[cordoncordon]

I agree with what you said, but I have to admit, much like giving to charity, being a gentleman is a lot less rewarding if it's expected and/or required. In the OP case I would have likely answered her question with a question but it's surely a sour note, and would be a little off-putting.

Of course a lot of it has to do with how she says it just as much as what she says. Maybe she was being playful and he was being a cock, or maybe she was being a bitch. Hard to tell in this format.

All I know is if my gf or a date asked me someday if I would ever open a car door for her, my reaction certainly wouldn't be to F off, or in the OP's case, a direct no.

I just would have said something playful and let it alone.

Also, we need to keep this clear. At first the girl didn't demand that the OP open the car door, she just asked would he ever do it. I've had many girls ask me similar questions. They just want to know that you care as most women are pretty insecure. She didn't get mad and turn into a beotch until after he said "no", like an azz.

 

[teacha]

I never knew being a gentleman and opening a car door for a lady is some sort of principle that was being violated. What other principles do you have? Refusing to open the door for the old lady at the grocery store? Telling the local girl scout troupe that is selling their cookies to F off?

Just a guess here, but are you a wigger? Are you a white suburban kid trying to be all ghetto and tough? You sound like it.

has it ever occured to you that not everyone is a gentleman like you. I never understood it, what's the purpose of opening doors for her or pulling out chairs? Women have been fighting to be treated like equals since the 70's so who am I to deny them their right to pay for their own shit. I treat women as my equals, if the titanic sank tomorrow i might let the kids into the life boats first but best believe im saving my ass after that.I will even shove women out of the way if i got to, fvck all that women first. Women want to be treated as equals in workplaces but still wants a man to open car doors for her or pay for her dinner and stuff. How does that work exactly? Women only want the benefits of chilvary but not the responsibilties that goes along with it.

You guys can continue buying flowers, opening doors or paying for dinner to women you barely even know just because that's the 'gentleman' thing to do and hi-5 each other here but don't tell me i should abide by the same principles you live by because to me that's just being a pussy.

 

[bukowski_merit]

The ONLY reason she asked for him to open her door was just to see if he would compromise his principles for her.

Which is what a sh!t test is. But you don't fail a sh!t test by answering yes or no... you fail it by taking it serious! Which is what the OP did.

If you must take it serious (and this is not a situation where you must) - it can only be done with a call on bullsh!t; which the OP attempted to do; but failed the minute he went back to the car after acting like he was leaving.

She only did it because he said he doesn't open doors for women.

She had no idea he was going to say "Now that you said it, no." Which as far as im concerned is where the main sh!t test was.... Everything after that was a bi-product of him taking her (and himself) too serious.

If she really liked him she could have just let it go and respected his views but NO, she had to pull up that my way or the highway stunt just to see how badly he wanted to get some.

Yes, childish of her; i don't disagree.

if a woman really likes you, she will work with you. This wasn't a shit-test but a fvcked up POWER-MOVE on her part.

The original question she asked him was a sh!t test. Pure and simple.

Everything after that was childish manipulation attempts on both of their parts. It ultimately became a power struggle on both of their parts.... And a train wreck...

And in my experience - women do work for you once they become wrapped up in you. But that normally happens after the sex, after you've established a connection, and after you've proven you're a strong enough man to not take her sh!t serious. Spitting in her face is not going to get you any close to any of those unless she's some low quality woman who likes men who are mean to her.

You guys see failure, i see a man who would not compromise his principles just to get laid.

His behavior wasn't about not compromising principles. It was about winning! It was about dominance and drinking too much of the alpha kool-aid. There's no other reason to answer the question in the astoundingly arrogant way he did....

Sure, he could have gone the c&f way and opened her door just to get his dvck wet but at what cost? losing his integrity? compromising his ethics?

You also can't get your d!ck wet by saying a$$hole stuff to a woman and expecting her not to act up. He was prepared just fine to say, "now that you asked, no". But was not prepared to deal with the drama she brought to him as a result of that sentence. This is due to an incongruence in him. This incongruence is caused when he tries to do things instead of just doing them... He tried to be dominant; he tried to act like an a$$hole motherfvcker! But when it came time to REALLY show her that he was who he was acting like he was - he folded into a 2 year old tantrum. He responded to her childish behavior with his own....

A man who says, "now that you asked, no!." is a man who gets power off of dominating women into submission. A man who made a comment like that is someone who would rip a woman out of his car for not getting out of it! When the OP doesn't do that - the woman see's clearly that she's playing with a man who's playing games with her games. So the whole focus turns from having a good time to some idiotic power struggle over a d@mn door!

She should have just respected his views towards chilvary and just let the sleepings dogs lie. Like Pook said, RESPECT IS ALL.

You can't be disrespectful, and play these child-play kids games, and expect a woman to melt for you....

You expect respect to be a one way street? That the man should only care that the woman respects him and not if he respects the woman?

Her question was a stupidly innocent unplanned sh!t test; that came as a result of seeing something she viewed as romantic....

He pissed on her when she wasn't even on fire...

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

I meet up with this 40 something years of cougar who is proud of her cougar habits yesterday evening for a walk and I decided to take her to my place after. During the walk, we saw a guy opening a car door for a woman and she was telling me "how nice it is of him to open the door for her". I said "good for him." Then she said, "would you do that for me?". I responded, "now that you said it. No". I changed the subject. We talked for another half an hour or then we headed to my car. Well, we got into the car, drop to my place and she was like:
Cougar: "Open the door for me."
Amoka: "No. I have two hands the same way you do". I got out and was walking home. The cougar refused to get out. So, I walked back in the car.
Cougar: "Be a gentleman and open the door for me. Date more older women and you'd know that it is good to be a gentleman".
Amoka: "Fvck gentlemen. I am getting out."
Cougar: "Alright, if you're not going to open the door for me, then take me back to my car."
Amoka: "Sound good" I took her to her car.

How is it with these cougars? Are they always this way? Anybody rocking them? This one is fine but the way things are going, we'll end up not seeing each other anymore. Do you think I did the right thing by taking her back to her car or did I simply came off too hash on her?

I commend you brother.

Too many guys sell their manhood for a piece of p*ssy.

As for cougers, women are past their expiration date after 40. Wrinkly skin and BAD ATTITUDE. The best women are in the late 20s to late 30s.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

W-T-F has SoSuave devolved into?

So much so that we DEBATE opening a vehicle door, or for that matter a door to a building or home?

Out of habit I open doors for women or even men, or kids, or teens, or senior citizens anywhere and everywhere! Does that make some stupid 3-4 Acronym? If so, SIGN ME UP!

Seriously, boys that don't open doors, GROW UP. I won't submit who I am for some stereotypical label, like COUGAR. If I open doors for my friends and family and co-workers and strangers, why NOT a date?

Granted, this scenario was played out WAY wrong from the get-go and all blame lies on the OP. Moreover, if you opt to DATE and/or bang ground, then this is the nuclear waste you are submitting yourself to being a part of. DATING is busted from the start!

It's the GREY area upon which women seek to obtain some comfort, committment and attention from a man, and men seek to obtain some sex, companionship and attention from a woman. There's ZERO presumption of actual committment, just a faux status that is broken from a busted game. Dating is like playing with live hand grenades and is NOT the way to go about finding a quality woman, probably because the whole system of dating from whence a girl enters it to whence she exits it into marriage completely sets up the wrong ideas, values and paradigms for long-term relationships AND/OR marriage.

Needless to say, I open doors. If that relegates me to b!tch status, so be it. If a woman nexts me because of it, oh well, her loss. I have heavy truck SUV doors and won't let a woman touch them anyways. It just baffles me that instead of becoming a BETTER man and BETTER human being, you let these situations and possible infectious women CHANGE and ALTER who you are.

To suggest he WAS NOT altered by his principles was false. He may open doors for other people, just NOT the 40 year old cougar he wants to stick his 29 year old hard prick in. COME ON? Seriously? If he doesn't, well shame on him. People without such common decencies are worse than rabid dogs with zero social skills.

Grow up.

 

[vatoloco]

Unfortunately, many have drank too much of the alpha/jerk/badboy Kool-Aid.

Men are not gentlemen anymore...

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I'm pretty sure Mystery said you should be opening doors and being a gentleman for women. You got nothing to lose anyway and majority of the time it can only score you more points.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

F*ck the gentleman bullsh*t.

When I was at a stop light, I saw an old lady fall to the ground. This was a busy intersection, and no one helped her.

I got out of my car and risked my life, my car getting smashed, etc. I helped her back up, made sure she was ok, and walked with her across the street.

Be a f*cking gentleman?

F*ck no!

Women wanted equality, so be it. They made their bed, now they have to sleep in it. I've never held the door for any of my dates, and I never will.

Enough said.

 

[iqqi]

I really think that the lady was qualifying Amoka. Once he offered such a rigid "no", she escalated and went all the way to the disqualify stage. I doubt I would've handled it that way... but most likely Amoka wouldn't have heard from me again after that date. Ugh, I HATE bitter, rigid men. They just don't know how to have fun, enjoy themselves, or enjoy me, and they certainly aren't going to add anything to my life except misery.

There are a whole bunch of bitter AFC's out there who think good game is to be a d!ck head, and that to be nice to a woman means being a dreaded "nice guy", which means being AFC, which in turn leads to men staying AFC's, yet more on the bitter side. This is nothing new, you guys aren't some DJ's winning women over with your bad boy, assh0le ways. Once again, it is just see through, straight to the insecurity that is your framework. And insecurity is a turn off.

Bitter AFC's are just as much a turn off as cheesy AFC's.

There is a fine line between coming off as an assh0le sometimes because you are a man who doesn't bend over backwards for people, and actually being a bitter assh0le AFC. Which side of the line are you standing on?

It's good to see that most men on here have a healthy balance in their thinking when it comes to this kind of thing.

 

[teacha]

Which is what a sh!t test is. But you don't fail a sh!t test by answering yes or no... you fail it by taking it serious! Which is what the OP did.

If you must take it serious (and this is not a situation where you must) - it can only be done with a call on bullsh!t; which the OP attempted to do; but failed the minute he went back to the car after acting like he was leaving.

The original question she asked him was a sh!t test. Pure and simple

I never understood these shit-tests. why would someone supposedly interested in me give me these stupid tests? You guys see shit-tests, i see low-interest. I know when a women genuinely likes someone, she will do whatever it takes to qualify herself to him instead of 'shit-testing' him but that's just me. She asked him a simple question and he answered truthfully...now what's wrong with that? I mean if someone asks me a question that goes against my principles i would answer it i would be brutally honest. If they don't like it, fvck them. I mean how would you respond if a woman ask you a question about religion or something like that? Be ****y and funny just to get laid? I don't see pussy as something special enough to throw away all my values. shit, pussy is common as salt nothing special about it whatsoever. Bottomline is, she should have just respected his views on the matter and leave it alone.
I've had several women ask me if i would buy her dinner and i've always replied with 'no, i dunno you that well'. See i only reward women for good behavior and only buy dinner/movies etc for someone who reciprocates (this only goes for LTR, i don't pay for dates meals). but you see some of them would have the nerve to try to tell me that unless i take her out or do something special for her im not getting any like i was born yesterday smh. No compromises here.

Now seriously consider this for a minute, if she really was on his dvck would she have kicked all that fuss after he said no? She didn't really care about the OP, all she wanted was someone to make her feel special again. Why the fvck is this guy supposed to jump through hoops for an old insecure 40something woman just to get laid? She should've been the one that should have been the one that was jumping through the hoops.

You can't be disrespectful, and play these child-play kids games, and expect a woman to melt for you....

You expect respect to be a one way street? That the man should only care that the woman respects him and not if he respects the woman?

Her question was a stupidly innocent unplanned sh!t test; that came as a result of seeing something she viewed as romantic....

He pissed on her when she wasn't even on fire...

how was he being disrespectful? by telling her the truth?

he was nice to her....i mean her even took her back to her car, now if that's not being a gentleman then i dunno what is.

 

[teacha]

I'm pretty sure Mystery said you should be opening doors and being a gentleman for women. You got nothing to lose anyway and majority of the time it can only score you more points.

Screw him and his pua crap.