11.12.09
so today was pretty typical in the morning. Nothing interesting here, just talking with Brenda ( Old one itus ) and Kristina ( Brute ). Brenda seemed to have some nice kino going on with me, she kept feeling my face/ chin because i haven't really shaved much. Again, nothing interesting here. I didn't get anyone to walk me to class or anything
3rd period
So here is when things get REALLY interesting. Im sitting next to my friend Chacon, who is my partner for my Government class. We're both on laptops and he somehow brings up the topic of Monica. He tells me this story that goes a little something like this : " So monica was trying to sell me cookies, and i took her box and held it up in the air, so she couldn't reach it. Edith ( girl who came over the other day) then says " You better be careful, her boyfriend will beat you up." and Monica replies " We broke up"." Chacon tells me that it was awkward after, and for some reason, this infuriates me. I'm not sure why, but im really pissed off when I hear this story. I end up just sitting next to chacon, doing our work without saying a word to anyone. I couldn't for the life of me explain why, but I was just so frustrated. I felt like punching walls and taking down whatever I could get my hands on
It gets even better. As you all know, after 3rd period, Monica and I usually end up crossing paths because of the hallway. Now, ever since we broke up, I take a bit longer than usual to get out of the class, so i don't have to see her or anything. Today was no exception. In fact I took even longer than before. As soon as i walk out, I look to my left, and right. The path is clear. As i start heading out, i can make out a figure with my perifs. I see Monica come out with a box of cookies in her hand. She sees me, smiles and says " hey duy!" as she comes to me with both arms open for a hug. Im still pissed at this point so i simply reply with a robotic " Hey..." and i put one arm around her, while she squeezes me with both arms. She pulls me close, so our face touch, cheek to cheek contact. As soon as its over, i walk out of the hallway without looking back at her or anything.
Reflecting
Now, when i finally calmed down after lunch ( I guess food helps me calm down) I started to think about why i was mad. I came to the conclusion that it can be either two things.
1) Im letting Monica get to my head. She is controlling my emotions somehow and Im not sure what else to do besides no Contact. It will pass.
2) In psychology, there is something called "The 5 Stages" which is how people cope with distress or misfortune ( Someone passing away/ Getting fired/ and yes, getting dumped) which consists of
1) Denial - the "NO! this cant be!" stage
2)
Anger - speaks for itself
3) Bargaining - the " I'll do better! it won't happen again!" stae
4) depression - the " Its really happen.." stage
5) Acceptance. the final " Time to move on." stage
And a new reputation begins
So I get this new watch from my sister and I text my good friend george if he wants to tag along with me to get it re adjusted at the mall.
me: want to come to the mall with me?
George: have sex with me
me: I would but i've got to get my new watch adjusted. Want to come?
George: Take your pants off... I want to go down on you
At this point im thinking " what an *******, using a story i told him against me. Whatevever" A few minutes later i get a call from him, and when he asks about the mall, I hear some girl is in the back and I ask who that is. It's rose, and probably nicole as well. ( two sexy girls, blah blah)
I asked George " Did you tell them?" and he replies " Monica told them. They're friends with Monica."
Great, i love how she runs her mouth and tells everyone. Really, what the fvck man. Do you think being the guy who wants to go down on a woman is a bad rep anyways? I mean, it could be worse. . . now im annoyed by Monica and how she cant keep anything secret.
Learning more about conversations
Anyways, after hanging out with my friends, I lighten up a lot. It was amazing how well My friend George put me in a much better mood. At first, I was very uptight, grunting, and probably looked pissed off as hell. I talk to him, and he just sang and danced in the car, having fun and just having a good time. Eventually, it rubbed off onto me, and before i knew it was i dancing and singing by the time I dropped him off at home. I want to learn how to be more like George.
We both talked about the reputation thing, and he ended up saying it could be much worse, which i agree. I could of been the guy who " tried to get head" instead of "trying to give her head". He even told me about how some chicks like that, and i just couldn't help but agree. In the end, i just feel like i've learned a lot from this experience as well. I noticed that to get small talk, it was the same exact things I would usually talk about, but his tone of voice was much different. I noticed when my friend Marissa called me, when I was hanging out with him, I sounded pretty robotic answering my phone. I could totally see why people say 93% of convo is the Tone of the voice and your body language, and only 7% of what you say.
saturos said:
Regarding the "i miss her a little" statement
I disagree with eaglez. I've read a couple of his "digests" and he's just spitting out info as if he's a robot. Just copying everything from posts and stuff and strictly following the bull**** that flows around here.
What i think? You were probably fine if thats what you said. If you just got out of something with a chick and you try and tell people you don't give a ****, but everyone knew you and the chick were getting real tight, then everyone know's and thinks you're full of ****. You don't need to be hard-ass about that. Anyone's going to miss it a bit, and pretending you aren't isn't being real, its playing "DJ"
Well everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Eaglez has given me a lot of great advice, and without him i can't imagine where my reports would be. Im not going to try and defend/ kiss his ass, but he's trying his best to help me. really.
Me and Monica weren't real tight or anything, I mean I did walk her to class, hand in hand and kiss her a bunch of times, but it wasn't like we were both attached from the waist or something. but yeah, i don't feel too bad about what I said. It's whatever now though, hopefully I can just move on and try and game other girls.