My senior year and field reports

[eaglez1177]

Regarding the "i miss her a little" statement

I disagree with eaglez. I've read a couple of his "digests" and he's just spitting out info as if he's a robot. Just copying everything from posts and stuff and strictly following the bull**** that flows around here.

What i think? You were probably fine if thats what you said. If you just got out of something with a chick and you try and tell people you don't give a ****, but everyone knew you and the chick were getting real tight, then everyone know's and thinks you're full of ****. You don't need to be hard-ass about that. Anyone's going to miss it a bit, and pretending you aren't isn't being real, its playing "DJ"

Lol ok if thats how you want to take my advice then fine...I have experience with this kind of stuff, cuz i've been to hell and back, and I know whats its like turning from a total afc to a DJ, but then again, I guess im just "spitting out info as if im a robot" :moon:

And no, it was not fine telling Monicas BEST FRIEND that he missed her "a little". Doesnt matter if he said "a little" or "alot", either way the girl is going to tell Monica that her ex bf still misses her. And just for the record, read the fvcking break up guide (which is literally the perfect way to deal with breakups), and then you can come back and attempt to criticize me. Letting your gf know that you still miss her is a path to wanting her back, and leads down a dark road where you will be the afc who goes crawling back to her. Detachment is one of the main focuses of getting through a breakup, and telling people that you still miss your gf is NOT the way to detachment, its simply an afcish behavior to try to become re-attached.

And I dont "strictly" follow the "bullsh*t" (if thats what you want to call it) thats on these forums. Yea, some of the stuff here isnt that great, and some of the ppl may give bad advice, but you know what? Regarding the VERY MINOR "bullsh*t" parts of these forums, theres parts of these forums that are a fvcking gold mine for advice regarding girls. And Im not one of those losers that memorizes every single tactic on this forum and reads everything humanly possible on here; I go out into the FIELD and actually apply some of the things that I have learned here, finding that it has helped me very very much, and thus making me want to help others get through the same process I went through (and am still going through; im not a completely DJ yet, but im definitely on my way)

EDIT: and i'll get to your posts later tonight Duy ive been very busy lately lol

 

[sageproduct]

11.14.09
I seem to noticed that I have a very negative view towards people's hobbies. I didn't think too much about it, but i have a tendency to refer to people's hobbies as "lame." Yeah, its a terrible thing to do, and i have no clue why i do it, and im sure on the outside, people aren't to happy to hear me dissing their passions.
Example:
"I love watching Disney Channel"
My response : " ew haha, that's so lame."

Not sure if its a big deal, but I just wanted to post it. I need to stop being so negative as well.

Haha watching disney channel isn't a hobby/passion. I think it is lame. But if they're talking about an actual hobby they have it'd be important to talk about that I think.

And eaglez when you get the chance would you mind looking at my last few posts in my own field reports? I know you're real short on time but I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some quick advice, I got my first kiss and a potential gf.

 

[eaglez1177]

wow im fvckin tired its 2 am lol

11.12.09

3rd period
So here is when things get REALLY interesting. Im sitting next to my friend Chacon, who is my partner for my Government class. We're both on laptops and he somehow brings up the topic of Monica. He tells me this story that goes a little something like this : " So monica was trying to sell me cookies, and i took her box and held it up in the air, so she couldn't reach it. Edith ( girl who came over the other day) then says " You better be careful, her boyfriend will beat you up." and Monica replies " We broke up"." Chacon tells me that it was awkward after, and for some reason, this infuriates me. I'm not sure why, but im really pissed off when I hear this story. I end up just sitting next to chacon, doing our work without saying a word to anyone. I couldn't for the life of me explain why, but I was just so frustrated. I felt like punching walls and taking down whatever I could get my hands onYou still have an emotional attachment to her. Thats why you reacted with angry and emotional feelings. You GOTTA let this go man.

It gets even better. As you all know, after 3rd period, Monica and I usually end up crossing paths because of the hallway. Now, ever since we broke up, I take a bit longer than usual to get out of the class, so i don't have to see her or anything. Today was no exception. In fact I took even longer than before. As soon as i walk out, I look to my left, and right. The path is clear. As i start heading out, i can make out a figure with my perifs. I see Monica come out with a box of cookies in her hand. She sees me, smiles and says " hey duy!" as she comes to me with both arms open for a hug. Im still pissed at this point so i simply reply with a robotic " Hey..." and i put one arm around her, while she squeezes me with both arms. She pulls me close, so our face touch, cheek to cheek contact. As soon as its over, i walk out of the hallway without looking back at her or anything. Dont go back to her man. Shes may come crawling back to you, but once you break up theres no going back. If she does still talk to you, just be polite and dont be an *******.

Reflecting
Now, when i finally calmed down after lunch ( I guess food helps me calm down) I started to think about why i was mad. I came to the conclusion that it can be either two things.
1) Im letting Monica get to my head. She is controlling my emotions somehow and Im not sure what else to do besides no Contact. It will pass.I like how you know it will pass. That is good. Time heals everything, dont worry.
2) In psychology, there is something called "The 5 Stages" which is how people cope with distress or misfortune ( Someone passing away/ Getting fired/ and yes, getting dumped) which consists of
1) Denial - the "NO! this cant be!" stage
2) Anger - speaks for itself
3) Bargaining - the " I'll do better! it won't happen again!" stae
4) depression - the " Its really happen.." stage
5) Acceptance. the final " Time to move on." stageNow your definitely over thinking it

And a new reputation begins
So I get this new watch from my sister and I text my good friend george if he wants to tag along with me to get it re adjusted at the mall.
me: want to come to the mall with me?
George: have sex with me
me: I would but i've got to get my new watch adjusted. Want to come?
George: Take your pants off... I want to go down on you
At this point im thinking " what an *******, using a story i told him against me. Whatevever" A few minutes later i get a call from him, and when he asks about the mall, I hear some girl is in the back and I ask who that is. It's rose, and probably nicole as well. ( two sexy girls, blah blah)
I asked George " Did you tell them?" and he replies " Monica told them. They're friends with Monica."

Great, i love how she runs her mouth and tells everyone. Really, what the fvck man. Do you think being the guy who wants to go down on a woman is a bad rep anyways? I mean, it could be worse. . . now im annoyed by Monica and how she cant keep anything secret.Now this would piss me off. I hate when girls do this. I dont see why this would give you a bad rep, but if ppl give you sh*t about it, just play along with their "jokes" or just give a fake laugh and let it go. DO NOT show signs of weakness/anger/any emotional reaction to these jokes.

Learning more about conversations
Anyways, after hanging out with my friends, I lighten up a lot. It was amazing how well My friend George put me in a much better mood. At first, I was very uptight, grunting, and probably looked pissed off as hell. I talk to him, and he just sang and danced in the car, having fun and just having a good time. Eventually, it rubbed off onto me, and before i knew it was i dancing and singing by the time I dropped him off at home. I want to learn how to be more like George.
We both talked about the reputation thing, and he ended up saying it could be much worse, which i agree. I could of been the guy who " tried to get head" instead of "trying to give her head"That reminds me. You could just play this whole thing off and blame it on monica saying "oh well its not my fault shes prude. Then again it might not be good to add fuel to the fire. Your decision there.. He even told me about how some chicks like that, and i just couldn't help but agreeEvery chick likes that dude lol. In the end, i just feel like i've learned a lot from this experience as well. I noticed that to get small talk, it was the same exact things I would usually talk about, but his tone of voice was much different. I noticed when my friend Marissa called me, when I was hanging out with him, I sounded pretty robotic answering my phone. I could totally see why people say 93% of convo is the Tone of the voice and your body language, and only 7% of what you say.Exactly

 

[eaglez1177]

and part two

11.13.09 Quite the boring day

Rushing things
Other than that, My friend Marissa ( Just a friend ) asked me about Monica. "You talk to Monica lately?" she asks and i replied " Nah". She says " That's ashame. She's a nice girl." Marissa is Monica's friend too, they're both volleyball players. She then says " Oh, you know Monica told me she heard the craziest rumor about you?" and I simply say " Oh yeah?". Marissa goes on by explaining that im "trying to have sex with all the girls" in our school. I laugh and ask her " Do you really think that's like me at all?" she laughs and says " well, im you would say something like that to be funny, but you wouldn't do it."Why the fvck does she care about what people think of you.

It then occured to me that Maybe that's why things went downhill with me and Monica. I rushed things.I explained that already, yes you did rush It doesn't really bother me, but its just something I wanted to post, because I noticed I rushed things with Brenda, wayyy back in my first few posts, and I recently made a "rush" again.

Say my name
So during lunch, Im playfully talking to my friend Kayla ( little freshmen on the swim team, just a friend) and I'm about to walk away. I hold my hand up and say " Don't leave me hanging" for a high five. Kayla says " oh duy..." and slaps my hand. This white blonde girl who sat next to kayla suddenly came to life and says " So you're duy?" I reply with " yeah, why?" She replies with " oh i don't know, I've just been hearing you name a lot." I smile and say " Well i hope its for a good reputation" as I walk away."I hope its for a good reputation?" Thats kinda strange to say lol. Shows that your insecure about your repuation and you really want a good rep. Next time show that you dont care about your rep. I wouldve said something like "Ohh nice...whats your name I think I've been hearin about you alot too" and smile

I thought that girl looked pretty familiar. It turns out, she is also on the volleyball team, just like Monica, Marissa, and a bunch of other girls.

As for no contact...
Luckily today I made sure to take EXTRA long in my 3rd period, so i wouldn't have any chance to run into Monica in the hallwaysYou have to man up and just walk by her dude. Dont change your schedule just cuz of her. Just act fvckin normal and do things normally. You cant live in a little shadow hiding away from monica the entire year lol. I didn't see her at all today, which was great. However, Tomorrow there is an NHS Carwash from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM. I know she will be there, and I'm going to have to be there as well. How should I handle the " no contact" rule with her? Don't say "Hi" to her unless she says so first, right? Also, if she initiates a conversation, about something insignificant as "the weather", I should politely excuse myself and walk away right?Like I said, dont be an *******. Let her initiate the convo, not you, and when she does (which she prolly will), just be polite and nice and go along with it. Dont start hitting on her.

11.14.09 NHS Carwash

Monica is with her bodyguard, Mallory and they walk by me and George, and she gives me a smile and says " Hi.". I return the favor, but I try not to make it sound like one of my typical enthusiastic "Hi"s. I'm with my friend George, so we're socializing and not doing much Carwashing, which is good because I ended up not thinking about Monica too much. It's just she purposely put on a lot more perfume to make me think about her, or wore my favorite Converse shoes on just to get me to think about her. And it worked. When I would see her, I would want to kiss her, like old times. Luckily, I didn't talk to her at all, although we did cross paths. I just looked away, and kept going in my own direction. She didn't say anything to me, which was great. I wouldn't have wanted to talk to her.Good

The list
I decided I would make a list of things I dislike about her, to try and help me get over this short term crush.
- She's Bossy
- She's Demanding
- She has Cellulite on her upper thighs ( Yeah, low blow lol )
- She's a bit thick
- She Ties her hair up like a troll
- Always Wants to hold hands. Always.
- Listens to the Jonas brothers all the time
- Watches Immature Disney shows, like Lizzy McGuire
- Wears flip flops and shows her Toe nails, which are always never fully painted
- Paints her nails black
- Friends with that Bulldog, Mallory, who is the epitome of "b1tch"
- She hates the song " Love is gone" by David Guetta
- She says Im going too "slow", but when I try to escalate things sexually, she chicken sh1ts out and decides to end the relationship
- Shes telling everyone about what we did as a couple. Whatever happen to not kissing and telling?Wow. This is ridiculous man. You dont need to make a fvckin list just to get over a girl. Your big problem is this: Negative or positive, your thinking about monica WAY too much. Just get her outta ur mind, focus on other things and girls, and live your life normally.

Total Unrelated EDIT:
I seem to noticed that I have a very negative view towards people's hobbies. I didn't think too much about it, but i have a tendency to refer to people's hobbies as "lame." Yeah, its a terrible thing to do, and i have no clue why i do it, and im sure on the outside, people aren't to happy to hear me dissing their passions.
Example:
"I love watching Disney Channel"
My response : " ew haha, that's so lame."

Not sure if its a big deal, but I just wanted to post it. I need to stop being so negative as well.No one likes a debbie downer

EDIT: and yea no problem sage! If you find that you really need help or have some burning questions, feel free to message me whenever you want or just let me know in this thread! Your open to ask me anything and im always willing to help!

 

[saturos]

Lol ok if thats how you want to take my advice then fine...I have experience with this kind of stuff, cuz i've been to hell and back, and I know whats its like turning from a total afc to a DJ, but then again, I guess im just "spitting out info as if im a robot" :moon:

And no, it was not fine telling Monicas BEST FRIEND that he missed her "a little". Doesnt matter if he said "a little" or "alot", either way the girl is going to tell Monica that her ex bf still misses her. And just for the record, read the fvcking break up guide (which is literally the perfect way to deal with breakups), and then you can come back and attempt to criticize me. Letting your gf know that you still miss her is a path to wanting her back, and leads down a dark road where you will be the afc who goes crawling back to her. Detachment is one of the main focuses of getting through a breakup, and telling people that you still miss your gf is NOT the way to detachment, its simply an afcish behavior to try to become re-attached.
=

I don't really know any guy that gets out of a relationship or something and doesn't feel emotion. This isn't about "what you can do to be DJ and not AFC" its just part of being human and feeling emotion. He doesn't have to bull**** anything, as long as he doesn't decide that its his life ambition to get back with her. Obviously he should get over her but lying to himself isn't the best way in my opinion. Plus, i doubt its a question he gets 24/7 and is therefore reminded of the chick.
Whatever floats your boat though. You may be "on the road to DJ" or whatever you said but you certainly seem to be pissed off about something. Lighten up and have some fun.

Oh and Duy don't worry about not running into Monica. I personally go for being friends with ex's and i'd just say hi to her and stuff like friendly like and just live your life. Maybe **** with her a little and have fun. Let her think its awkward, but for what its worth don't let it be awkward for you. Laugh because she avoids you, and don't change **** about yourself cause of her.

 

[BongDuy]

11.16.09

nothing really interesting happen today. I talked to the trio in the morning, Talked to Dennis ( Very shy girl on the swim team) during lunch. mainly on teasing her on being so "outgoing" and what type of guy she likes ( I teased her by pointing to some random guys around us.) I feel like shes opening more with me because she seems to be giving me more information about herself towards me, but she doesn't really initiate as much as all the other girls i talk to.

Serena ( That asian chick I failed on with the mystery method/ smoked with )
So im sitting in a seat, kinda on the edge, and I noticed Serena Comming. What was weird though, was that she sat in an empty seat infront of me. she usually sits next to me, or tells me to scoot over. I tap her on the shoulder to say hello, and she dismisses me with the back hand, without even turning around. not sure what her problem was, but it looks like shes out of the picture.

Tomorrow's Forecast
Tomorrow, there is BAT testing/ Early release, so i won't be going to school. Instead, Im going to my friend's house to get a skateboard, im gunna add that to my hobby list. After that, I may hit the beach up with my friend Jessica ( That girl who invited me to homecoming)

More inner game
Since i've hit a plateau of interesting girls to hit on, im working on my hobbies right now. So far, my list consist of....

Guitar: Acoustic/ Electric. I have an acoustic, but i prefer electric, as it sounds a lot nicer imo. Slowly working on little songs here and there

Tricking: Basically doing a bunch of flips and kicks. Last time I checked, I Could do a roundhouse Backflip, An Ariel, and a 540 kick. Hoping to get more outta this

Bboying : i've been going in and out of breakdancing since i was 13. I talked to some bboys online, and we may meet up to practice sometime

Skateboarding: I want to give this a shot. Before I let my friend Get my board stolen, I used to be pretty... bad actually lol. I can only Ollie and 180 right now, but im working on it.

Weightlifting: so now that swim season is over, I have to find something to keep me fit until Volleyball Season starts once again. That doesn't really begin until late december/ Early January, so i will occupy myself with a Rippetoe 3x5 Workout. Im keeping a handwritten journal, so it'll be good for me.

Oh and Duy don't worry about not running into Monica. I personally go for being friends with ex's and i'd just say hi to her and stuff like friendly like and just live your life. Maybe **** with her a little and have fun. Let her think its awkward, but for what its worth don't let it be awkward for you. Laugh because she avoids you, and don't change **** about yourself cause of her.

Yeah, I realized yesterday that maybe I was being a bit harsh. I thought about how I would react to seeing Monica, and I came off as a total #$$hole. Now im not going to start talking to her with conversation and flirting, but I realized what I counted as a "relationship" wasn't much of anything at all. No, I don't think i'll get back with her, but I do think I should be at least somewhat more friendly with her. If I see her, I will say "Hi." to her. I'll even hug her if she initiates it. Nothing more, or nothing less.

 

[sageproduct]

Haha dude I just connected that since you're from South Florida the beach must be pretty close for you. Where I live is far from any beach so subconsciously when I read that you'd be going to the beach I'd keep assuming it was some big trip lol. But that's really cool it should be a great hangout.

For guitar, I've actually played it for a year. I'd say just get good at acoustic because electric is so much easier and you can easily learn some songs on it once you get one. Lol I remember when I thought being good at guitar would automatically get me girls. It actually does do good things for demonstrating value though and making you stand out. Occasionally you'll be hanging out somewhere where there's a guitar and you can play some songs. It's nice to learn really popular ones that everyone'll like to sing along with. This summer a girl I hadn't met before flat out offered me a ride home and asked for my number after I played some of her favorite songs on acoustic guitar while hanging out with some people. (even though i was too afc to take that anywhere...)

 

[eaglez1177]

I don't really know any guy that gets out of a relationship or something and doesn't feel emotion. This isn't about "what you can do to be DJ and not AFC" its just part of being human and feeling emotion. He doesn't have to bull**** anything, as long as he doesn't decide that its his life ambition to get back with her. Obviously he should get over her but lying to himself isn't the best way in my opinion. Plus, i doubt its a question he gets 24/7 and is therefore reminded of the chick.
Whatever floats your boat though. You may be "on the road to DJ" or whatever you said but you certainly seem to be pissed off about something. Lighten up and have some fun.

Oh and Duy don't worry about not running into Monica. I personally go for being friends with ex's and i'd just say hi to her and stuff like friendly like and just live your life. Maybe **** with her a little and have fun. Let her think its awkward, but for what its worth don't let it be awkward for you. Laugh because she avoids you, and don't change **** about yourself cause of her.

Im not saying he shouldnt or doesnt feel emotion; im just saying he shouldnt show it to others. That is such a big sign of weakness that the guy is not getting through the breakup; and instead of being a man and moving on, he makes it clearly obvious to everyone else that hes still not over the ex gf.

And you dont think hes going going to get questions?? Dude maybe you havent had a gf before but when you break up with someone, you get SOOO many questions from people and it gets brought up A LOT. Its like the latest juicy gossip for people so for some reason ppl seem to care and they always want to know what happened, whats goin on, all that stuff. Trust me dude i've been through it its extremely fvckin annoying.

Im not being pissed off or anything lol, all im doing is just giving advice to best deal with a breakup. It may seem harsh or cold, but trust me, its really not as bad as you think and is the fastest way to getting through a breakup.

11.16.09

nothing really interesting happen today. I talked to the trio in the morning, Talked to Dennis ( Very shy girl on the swim team) during lunch. mainly on teasing her on being so "outgoing" and what type of guy she likes ( I teased her by pointing to some random guys around us.) I feel like shes opening more with me because she seems to be giving me more information about herself towards me, but she doesn't really initiate as much as all the other girls i talk to.

Serena ( That asian chick I failed on with the mystery method/ smoked with )
So im sitting in a seat, kinda on the edge, and I noticed Serena Comming. What was weird though, was that she sat in an empty seat infront of me. she usually sits next to me, or tells me to scoot over. I tap her on the shoulder to say hello, and she dismisses me with the back hand, without even turning around. not sure what her problem was, but it looks like shes out of the picture.wtf? what a b*tch

Tomorrow's Forecast
Tomorrow, there is BAT testing/ Early release, so i won't be going to school. Instead, Im going to my friend's house to get a skateboard, im gunna add that to my hobby list. After that, I may hit the beach up with my friend Jessica ( That girl who invited me to homecoming)

More inner game
Since i've hit a plateau of interesting girls to hit on, im working on my hobbies right now. So far, my list consist of....

Guitar: Acoustic/ Electric. I have an acoustic, but i prefer electric, as it sounds a lot nicer imo. Slowly working on little songs here and there

Tricking: Basically doing a bunch of flips and kicks. Last time I checked, I Could do a roundhouse Backflip, An Ariel, and a 540 kick. Hoping to get more outta this wow nice

Bboying : i've been going in and out of breakdancing since i was 13. I talked to some bboys online, and we may meet up to practice sometimeidk why but girls seem to go crazyyy over breakdancers. Theres these two kids at my school that are pretty good and I remember seeing them dance at sweet sixteens and prom and the girls were goin nuts

Skateboarding: I want to give this a shot. Before I let my friend Get my board stolen, I used to be pretty... bad actually lol. I can only Ollie and 180 right now, but im working on it.

Weightlifting: so now that swim season is over, I have to find something to keep me fit until Volleyball Season starts once again. That doesn't really begin until late december/ Early January, so i will occupy myself with a Rippetoe 3x5 Workout. Im keeping a handwritten journal, so it'll be good for me.chicks love abs, a big chest, and biceps lol

 

[BongDuy]

11.18.09

Yesterday I took the day off because of a test in school, which didn't involve any Seniors at all. It was also an Early release, so i decided to stay home. The original plan consisted of going to the beach with all my friends, including Edith ( Mexican girl with braces/ I met at homecoming) Kristina ( brute ) and even Brenda ( old one itus). Just a bunch of us going to the beach. Unfortunately, all the people i was gunna pick up bailed out, so i ended up not going and just hanging out playing Modern warfare 2. It seems like things are getting more difficult to blog because for the most part, i only post significant things. I just can't really think of much else to write, because it seems so typical.


Annie Random approach
Now that that is out of the way, I started my morning today pretty typically. I woke up and almost missed my bus, so i didn't eat any breakfast. I decided to try some school food, which i get for free. While I stood there in line by myself ( Most of my friends don't eat breakfast ) A spanish girl came to my side and raised her hand for a high five. I had my headphones on, so i couldn't hear exactly what she was saying, but im pretty sure it was " hey duy!" I wasn't too sure who she was, so i replied with a " I.. don't know you?" with a smile on my face, while i went to high five her. She replied shocked " What?! im from the volleyball team!" I noticed her ID was on her neck, so i took a glimpse at it and noticed her name was Annie. I looked at her and said " Annie... Is this your Freshmen ID picture?" and she freaked out saing " oh my god! you can't see this! im so ugly in this!" I simply smile at her while she stuffs the ID into her shirt. I don't say much to her, even though I should have. She doesn't stay long though, because she is only in line to walk her friend through breakfast.

I would describe her as a kinda chunky hispanic girl. She's not so chunky that i wouldn't hit it, but shes bigger than myself.

My 2nd hour ( Physics )
So here is my 2nd hour teacher who i pretty much talk to about everything. She tells me about her love life, and I talk to her about the girls im "targeting". I end up telling her about my ex and we have a Good laugh about it. Her response to the whole situation was " It's her loss. Most guys don't like that." I agreed and we joked about it a little. While im here, My swim coach drops by to bring a Nintendo Wii in for us to play. ( because of a school wide test, everyone is stuck in their 2nd hour for 4 hours ) During this time, he decided he wants to hit the school gym, so i tag along. I ask him " So has the volleyball Coach said anything to you?" ( Marissa said that she would tell my coach, i thought it would be funny )
He replies " nope." I then go on to explain to him about my story, because he is another teacher who i can tell anyone anything. he says the same thing as my physics teacher. " It's her loss. " I tell him how Monica has been telling everyone, and he replies " Well, look at it this way. If anything, it's helping you because most girls like a guy that does that. " I nod my head and agree. I came to think about This morning, and I thought to myself " Maybe that's why im starting to meet these new girls.." haha

Not so mysterious Volleyball girl
So im walking to my bus and I see The mysterious volleyball girl who talked about swimming to me. I notice her friend, for whatever reason, drags her in a direction away from me. As i walk by, I notice she sees me and turns around, resists her friend from dragging her, and waves to me, as if she's known me forever. Because I had my headphones on, i didn't make out everything that she said besides " Hi" and "DUY!" I simply flashed her a smile and said " Hey". We will call her Lee. I think she may be a mix of something, because the more I see her, the less hispanic she looks and the more Asian she appears. She's also a freshmen and I added her on facebook.

Anna That Asian girl around my hood, who kinoed me like crazy at the pool
So for whatever reason, I had a dream between both of us. We are in my room and we're just fooling around. Long story short, I wake up to find its nothing but a dream. But since that dream, for some god foresaken reason, I lust her x100 more than I did before. I want her to get on her knees and do the dirty. The only problem with this is, she is HELLA prude. She's cute, but she probably wouldn't put out for atleast a few months if i started dating her. She told me that her ex once made out with her in less than 1 week of going out, and she was "disgusted" because he was moving TOO FAST. This was a year or two ago, but I can't help but think she hasn't changed much. She has on several occasions told me the circumstances she wants to be under while losing her Virginity.
- She really wants an Asian guy to take it
- She must be dating them

Guess what I can fall under? both! The point is, more than ever, I want to get Anna's pants off and get her under the covers, so let's see if i can get her out of her house, and spend some time hanging out with me.

 

[eaglez1177]

time to digest

11.18.09

Yesterday I took the day off because of a test in school, which didn't involve any Seniors at all. It was also an Early release, so i decided to stay home. The original plan consisted of going to the beach with all my friends, including Edith ( Mexican girl with braces/ I met at homecoming) Kristina ( brute ) and even Brenda ( old one itus). Just a bunch of us going to the beach. Unfortunately, all the people i was gunna pick up bailed out, so i ended up not going and just hanging out playing Modern warfare 2great game...ill have to get ur gamertag (geez that sounds nerdy but idc lol). It seems like things are getting more difficult to blog because for the most part, i only post significant things. I just can't really think of much else to write, because it seems so typical.


Annie Random approach
Now that that is out of the way, I started my morning today pretty typically. I woke up and almost missed my bus, so i didn't eat any breakfast. I decided to try some school food, which i get for freewow nice. While I stood there in line by myself ( Most of my friends don't eat breakfast ) A spanish girl came to my side and raised her hand for a high five. I had my headphones on, so i couldn't hear exactly what she was saying, but im pretty sure it was " hey duy!" I wasn't too sure who she was, so i replied with a " I.. don't know you?" with a smile on my face, while i went to high five her. She replied shocked " What?! im from the volleyball team!" I noticed her ID was on her neck, so i took a glimpse at it and noticed her name was Annie. I looked at her and said " Annie... Is this your Freshmen ID picture?" and she freaked out saing " oh my god! you can't see this! im so ugly in this!" I simply smile at her while she stuffs the ID into her shirt. I don't say much to her, even though I should have. She doesn't stay long though, because she is only in line to walk her friend through breakfast.

I would describe her as a kinda chunky hispanic girl. She's not so chunky that i wouldn't hit it, but shes bigger than myself.

My 2nd hour ( Physics )
So here is my 2nd hour teacher who i pretty much talk to about everything. She tells me about her love life, and I talk to her about the girls im "targeting". I end up telling her about my ex and we have a Good laugh about it. Her response to the whole situation was " It's her loss. Most guys don't like that." I agreed and we joked about it a little. While im here, My swim coach drops by to bring a Nintendo Wii in for us to play. ( because of a school wide test, everyone is stuck in their 2nd hour for 4 hours ) During this time, he decided he wants to hit the school gym, so i tag along. I ask him " So has the volleyball Coach said anything to you?" ( Marissa said that she would tell my coach, i thought it would be funny )
He replies " nope." I then go on to explain to him about my story, because he is another teacher who i can tell anyone anything. he says the same thing as my physics teacher. " It's her loss. " I tell him how Monica has been telling everyone, and he replies " Well, look at it this way. If anything, it's helping you because most girls like a guy that does that. " I nod my head and agree. I came to think about This morning, and I thought to myself " Maybe that's why im starting to meet these new girls.." hahawell ya if all the girls know that you two broke up then that makes you fair game on the market

Not so mysterious Volleyball girl
So im walking to my bus and I see The mysterious volleyball girl who talked about swimming to me. I notice her friend, for whatever reason, drags her in a direction away from me. As i walk by, I notice she sees me and turns around, resists her friend from dragging her, and waves to me, as if she's known me forever. Because I had my headphones on, i didn't make out everything that she said besides " Hi" and "DUY!" I simply flashed her a smile and said " Hey". We will call her Lee. I think she may be a mix of something, because the more I see her, the less hispanic she looks and the more Asian she appears. She's also a freshmen and I added her on facebook.

Anna That Asian girl around my hood, who kinoed me like crazy at the pool
So for whatever reason, I had a dream between both of us. We are in my room and we're just fooling around. Long story short, I wake up to find its nothing but a dream. But since that dream, for some god foresaken reason, I lust her x100 more than I did before. I want her to get on her knees and do the dirty.hahaha The only problem with this is, she is HELLA prude. She's cute, but she probably wouldn't put out for atleast a few months if i started dating hernot worth the wait imo. She told me that her ex once made out with her in less than 1 week of going out, and she was "disgusted" because he was moving TOO FASTWOW. This was a year or two ago, but I can't help but think she hasn't changed much. She has on several occasions told me the circumstances she wants to be under while losing her Virginity.
- She really wants an Asian guy to take it
- She must be dating them

Guess what I can fall under? both! The point is, more than ever, I want to get Anna's pants off and get her under the covers, so let's see if i can get her out of her house, and spend some time hanging out with me.You gotta try advancing on this chick now while your single rather than just make her your gf to try to advance on her then. If you cant even get a hookup with her when the two of you are single, theres no point in goin for this chick at all cuz shes wayy too prude. And to me it seems like she's only gonna have sex when shes older

 

[BongDuy]

great game...ill have to get ur gamertag (geez that sounds nerdy but idc lol)

sorry lol i sold my xbox 360 a few years back, which now i wish i hadn't done. I went to my Friend's house to play.

You gotta try advancing on this chick now while your single rather than just make her your gf to try to advance on her then. If you cant even get a hookup with her when the two of you are single, theres no point in goin for this chick at all cuz shes wayy too prude. And to me it seems like she's only gonna have sex when shes older

true that. Im behind you 110%, If i can't at least make out with her, chances are she is wayy too prude. I won't even consider making things official until after the hook up

11.19.09

My morning was pretty basic. I sat with my bros and just talked with them. I sat at a bench probably across the court yard where I usually sit with the trio. Brenda wasn't here today, and It was just Kristina ( Brute ) and Edith ( Mexican Gal with braces). Edith eventually came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. Im not seeing us going anywhere farther than friends, so yeah i do cheek kissing more often with girls that i don't care much for.

Monica The ex
So i saw her twice today. Once in the morning, where im walking along this long hallway, and I noticed her at the end. I felt like I was being a total @$$hole by trying to ignore her, or act "Cold" to her, so when we finally did get close enough, I just flashed her a smile and said " Morning ", as she replied " Hey duy!".

The 2nd time I saw her, I was with my friends walking around the school, trying to hang posters up for a Sweater sale. I noticed her from the hallway, but my friend pointed out this chick with an overbite that walked by, so i turned my head the other way. When I turned my head back, Monica was about 5 feet infront of me, staring me down, as if she was waiting for me to look at her so she could say "hi". Well, she did and I just smiled at her, as we walked past each other. nothing more, nothing less.

Nothing too interesting happening today. I hugged and talked to a few people, Dennis ( Shy girl on the swim team), Jackie ( little mexican girl who muled kicked me in my nads), I even ended up saying something to Nicole ( very cute girl who "thinks" im a "Creep"), although its very minor and probably not worth mentioning.

EDIT:

Anna Asian chick who kino'd me a bunch at the pool, current "target"
so i'm thinking of ways for us to hang out without it being awkward. Everytime I talk to her, i come off as the funny, sarcastic jerk ( basically ****y and funny) im a little unsure what we can do together, that won't seem very date like ( AKA: Seeing a movie )
I talked to her on aim about fluff, nothing in particular. I didn't end up asking her to hang out. On the brighter side though, she lives pretty close to me ( like a 10 minute bike ride ) So if anything, I can just ride to her house and tell her to come out. The park near her house is closed due to construction, so I'm not sure what we can do. Her brother kind of has a grudge against me ( he's much older, around 23) so i don't think hanging around her house would be the best thing.

 

[eaglez1177]

god im tired lol

Anna Asian chick who kino'd me a bunch at the pool, current "target"
so i'm thinking of ways for us to hang out without it being awkward. Everytime I talk to her, i come off as the funny, sarcastic jerk ( basically ****y and funny) im a little unsure what we can do together, that won't seem very date like ( AKA: Seeing a movie )Why dont you want this to seem date like? Who gives a sh*t if it seems date like or not lol. Just freakin hang out with her and try to get with her. I dont see any logic behind worrying if she would consider something as a date or not. I mean, I guess it would be a good thing if it was more like a date that way it would give off more of an impression that the two of you would hook up (rather than make it not seem like a date, in which it would be very friendly and you wouldnt get ass)
I talked to her on aim about fluff, nothing in particular. I didn't end up asking her to hang out. On the brighter side though, she lives pretty close to me ( like a 10 minute bike ride ) So if anything, I can just ride to her house and tell her to come out. The park near her house is closed due to construction, so I'm not sure what we can do. Her brother kind of has a grudge against me ( he's much older, around 23) so i don't think hanging around her house would be the best thing.Theres literally so many things you can do. Like ive said before, you dont need to physically go out somewhere and do something (like bowling, or the park, or ice skating, idk whatever) to have a good time hangin out with a chick. Theres nothin wrong with just going over your house or her house to watch a movie or simply just hang out and watch TV. Plan the date with the assumption that the two of you will be hooking up most of the time, that way it actually does give you more of an opportunity to hookup. And I wouldnt worry about the thing with her brother. Like ive said, dont let what other ppl think/outside factors affect your decisions. If her brother is even home, and if you really feel he has a major grudge (which if hes 23, he should be mature and get over it), then theres nothing wrong with talkin to him and sorting things out.

 

[BongDuy]

11.20.09

Today was pretty typical. Just talked to friends and all. I did notice that today I seemed to be more involved in the conversation than usual. me, George and my friend Ricky talked to a few girls about random stuff, but it ended up being sexual because my friend George is mad perverted. We all laughed and had fun, so im sure the girls were totally fine with it. They were just friends, so theres no point in naming anything, besides im not to interested in them.

Nicole really cute Junior girl who "thought i was a creep"
So i ended up hanging out with Nicole because we went to the mall for my Friend Ricky. It was me, George, Ricky, and Nicole and we all just hung out for a bit because my friend Ricky wanted to buy some Shirts. I mainly observed what George would say to spark a conversation, because he is really good at talking, small talk, and building rapport through talking. I didn't kino Nicole at all, because I still felt she was a little iffy about me. But i ended up making her laugh a lot, because I joked around with everyone. I tried not to be my usual awkward self that she knew when she first met me ( 2 years ago, during my sophmore year) my friend Ricky was all over Nicole, and she was totally digging him, so i didn't want to c0ck block or anything. I let him have her, because they have some " stuff" going on behind closed doors anyways.
I was mainly focusing on George and how he can keep everyone entertained. I wanted to have fun, and not seem quiet and shy, like I usually am when I feel intimidated ( out of awkwardness, not because of her good looks). I ended up having a pretty good time, and im sure everyone did as well. Just thought it was worth noting, because I ended up interacting with her, and although she didn't do anything out of her way to show any IOI's towards me, she didn't totally seem disgusted at talking to me. So we're in the green when it comes to another friend. Besides, She is pretty popular outside of school, so she could totally link me towards other girls.

If theres anything I learned about Ricky and George's actions today is that.
- don't be so uptight. Ricky was throwing his shirts in the bag up in the air and catching them, and just enjoying himself. he didn't give a fvck, and it showed through his carefree smile and laugh. I want to be more like this. I don't want to give a sh1t about what others think, and just have fun.
- talk about anything. George would comment on how he loved how the Holidays brought out the best in all the stores in the mall. He didn't go into detail about Christmas, but it brought out emotions when Nicole started to agree and they continued to talk.
- Don't stand there quietly and say nothing. This was my part, because from past experiences, When i feel intimidated and shy, I don't say anything to the girls, and i'd be lucky if i said anything to my guy friends. Not today though. I would say something to the guys, and look Nicole in the eyes, and say " Don't you agree?" and get her input. Then slowly work on conversation.
- Embarrassing moments are moments that will be remembered. So when Ricky was walking infront of Nicole, She playfull pushed him and said " hurry up ricardo! you're taking foreeverrrrr" and he playfully stops, bends over and starts walking backwards. He ends up bumping into a random woman, ass first into her hips, and we all stop and laugh at him. The lady freaks out and looks totally disgusted by what has just happend. Her boyfriend, looks at us and says " You could atleast say EXCUSE ME!" we all laughed. moments like these will be remembered in the future, and can always be reflected on.

Another note was that I feel like Im starting to get used to just not giving a crap about what anyone thinks and doing what I really want. especially infront of friends, because in the car i was dancing and singing, and my friend George looks at me and says " See nicole? my dawg Duy knows how to get DOWN!" and I just keep going. It was just good times in the car when We would dance and sing. Usually I would never do this, but today was a different story. Maybe more change in my inner Game.

Why dont you want this to seem date like?

Actually I think by "date" I ment a typical Girlfriend/ Boyfriend type of date, as in Movies and food. That's not really something you do for a casual date, it seems more like a relationship type of move.

 

[eaglez1177]

Ok I will get to this post tomorow mornung. our footbal team won the game and weree goin to the ship babyyyy!! im not sober enuf to do this now i just got home haha and this reply has taken me forever 2 type

 

[eaglez1177]

Sry bout that I meant to say our football team is gonna be going to Giants stadium in two weeks to play for a state championship...I had gotten home pretty late last night and im still not sure why I went on the comp rather than just pass out lol. So ya its a pretty exciting time right now at our school lol.

11.20.09

Today was pretty typical. Just talked to friends and all. I did notice that today I seemed to be more involved in the conversation than usual. me, George and my friend Ricky talked to a few girls about random stuff, but it ended up being sexual because my friend George is mad perverted. We all laughed and had fun, so im sure the girls were totally fine with it. They were just friends, so theres no point in naming anything, besides im not to interested in them.

Nicole really cute Junior girl who "thought i was a creep"
So i ended up hanging out with Nicole because we went to the mall for my Friend Ricky. It was me, George, Ricky, and Nicole and we all just hung out for a bit because my friend Ricky wanted to buy some Shirtsthree guys and one girl going to the mall to buy shirts? Thats fvckin weird man. I mainly observed what George would say to spark a conversation, because he is really good at talking, small talk, and building rapport through talking. I didn't kino Nicole at all, because I still felt she was a little iffy about me. But i ended up making her laugh a lot, because I joked around with everyone. I tried not to be my usual awkward self that she knew when she first met me ( 2 years ago, during my sophmore year) my friend Ricky was all over Nicole, and she was totally digging him, so i didn't want to c0ck block or anything. I let him have her, because they have some " stuff" going on behind closed doors anyways.
I was mainly focusing on George and how he can keep everyone entertained. I wanted to have fun, and not seem quiet and shy, like I usually am when I feel intimidated ( out of awkwardness, not because of her good looks). I ended up having a pretty good time, and im sure everyone did as well. Just thought it was worth noting, because I ended up interacting with her, and although she didn't do anything out of her way to show any IOI's towards me, she didn't totally seem disgusted at talking to me. So we're in the green when it comes to another friend. Besides, She is pretty popular outside of school, so she could totally link me towards other girls.

If theres anything I learned about Ricky and George's actions today is that.
- don't be so uptight. Ricky was throwing his shirts in the bag up in the air and catching them, and just enjoying himself. he didn't give a fvck, and it showed through his carefree smile and laugh. I want to be more like this. I don't want to give a sh1t about what others think, and just have fun.good
- talk about anything. George would comment on how he loved how the Holidays brought out the best in all the stores in the mall. He didn't go into detail about Christmas, but it brought out emotions when Nicole started to agree and they continued to talk.
- Don't stand there quietly and say nothing. This was my part, because from past experiences, When i feel intimidated and shy, I don't say anything to the girls, and i'd be lucky if i said anything to my guy friends. Not today though. I would say something to the guys, and look Nicole in the eyes, and say " Don't you agree?" and get her input. Then slowly work on conversation.
- Embarrassing moments are moments that will be remembered. So when Ricky was walking infront of Nicole, She playfull pushed him and said " hurry up ricardo! you're taking foreeverrrrr" and he playfully stops, bends over and starts walking backwards. He ends up bumping into a random woman, ass first into her hips, and we all stop and laugh at him. The lady freaks out and looks totally disgusted by what has just happend. Her boyfriend, looks at us and says " You could atleast say EXCUSE ME!" we all laughed. moments like these will be remembered in the future, and can always be reflected on.

Another note was that I feel like Im starting to get used to just not giving a crap about what anyone thinks and doing what I really want.thats very good. Thats how your mindset should be especially infront of friends, because in the car i was dancing and singing, and my friend George looks at me and says " See nicole? my dawg Duy knows how to get DOWN!" and I just keep going. It was just good times in the car when We would dance and sing. Usually I would never do this, but today was a different story. Maybe more change in my inner Game.


Actually I think by "date" I ment a typical Girlfriend/ Boyfriend type of date, as in Movies and food. That's not really something you do for a casual date, it seems more like a relationship type of move.Ehh a date is a date. Ive never really heard of a more "relationship" type date as opposed to a more "casual" date. Either way, its still a date, and on a date your trying to get with the girl. If you make a huge impression that its all casual, shes gonna take it as a friendly vibe from you, rather than sexual. ive done movies and food multiple times with girls as a first date, and it works great. We just get a quick bite to eat, see a movie, make out, and then its done deal. Very simple.

 

[BongDuy]

11.21.09 Beach Clean up

So today me and my friend George had to meet up with a bunch of people at our school, and head to the Beach to help pick up garbage and trash. As me and my friend George park in the lot, we noticed a bunch of kids from our school already there, and surprinsgly i see Monica, hanging out with her bullDog friend Mallory. Her back was turned to me, and there was a line of people who split me and her apart, so I didn't say "Hi." to her, and she didn't say "Hi." to me. I ended up feeling a little awkward because there was a point where we were at the beach, but it was past the "greeting" time of saying hello to someone. We were both aware that we were at the beach, but we didn't say anything to each other.

Long story short, I ended up picking up garbage and cleaning up the beach. I know, im just as surprised. Monica's group was wayy behind us, probably the slowest group of kids collecting garbage, while me and my friend George led the front for picking up stuff. We played football and all that fluff, but there was one specific event that kinda caught me off guard.

So for whatever reason, we didn't have anyone bring water. So one of my old teachers, Mr. L, went to a store and bought a huge amount of water bottles. When everyone was lined up to get water, I noticed people running in, grabbing water, and getting out of there because it was getting crowded. I didn't notice it before, But monica was right in front of me. She grabbed a bottle, turned around, and saw me. She grabbed another one and said " Here duy" I simply looked at her surprised and thanked her. I mean, honestly, I'm not sure if i would have grabbed her a water bottle, but it made me think about how nice she is. I started to think about her a lot, when I would see her in her short shorts, I looked at her legs and immediately started to lust them. I just imagined how it would be to kiss her all over again, and then it struck me how painful it was to just see her for more than a second, without kissing her. It really started to get in my head, and I just thought about it and thought about it. I thought about how if I tried to talk to her, and we get back together, chances are very slim that we would last long because we didn't connect well in the first place. But then I started to think about all the kissing we did and how great it made me feel. Besides realizing how much I loved kissing, it made me think about her. All i know is im not over her, because every time I see her, I feel like grabbing another girl and pretending to forget about her, in hopes of getting Monica Jealous again. It can't be healthy to be thinking like this

Im not sure if its because I miss getting " passionate and lustful" with her, or if I really miss her. I know she misses me, but some of her friends that don't like me are probably supporting her better than my friends, because they are probably telling her what a "jerk" i am, so shes probably handling this much better than I am.

EDIT: After some thinking, I think there are two ways to do this.One is to end all this is to cut contact cold turkey. The problem with this is I really don't want to be an @$$hole, because she is really nice. I mean, Monica is a sweet sweet girl, despite anything i've posted about her being bossy. She's just so friendly and kind to everyone, and no i don't mean to defend her or kiss her ass, but everyone i know loves her to death because she is just that friendly and nice. Plus I don't want to turn into a jerk, and lead her to think that after every relationship, the guy will be an @$$.

the 2nd way is to find another girl, which is what im working on. But I need to find someone to get my mind off of her fast, because I don't think its very productive for anyone to be thinking about an ex this much.

 

[BongDuy]

11.21.09 Late night Party

So Kristina (Brute) invited me to her birthday party last minute. I made her an origami 5$ bill, and put it inside a watch box for a gift. Long story short, I get to her house at 7:30, a little late, but I see its Edith ( Mexican girl with braces ) and my friend Chacon ( just some guy). I hang out, and we play rockband for a bit and more people show up. In total, we have about 5 guys and three girls, but we have so much fun. There was all sorts of kino from all the girls , but it wasn't just with me, they kino'd a few of the guys too, so it made it difficult to tell whether or not there was an IOI for more escalation or if they were just being themselves outside of school.

Paranormal activity.....
The girls want to play twister and spin the bottle. We're in Kristina's room and before we start, Kristina stands against her glass window and talks about her house being haunted, which scares the sh1t out of me. I make it plainly aware by jokingly saying " oh my god, don't say that! don't the ghost's name!" Suddenly theres a tapping at her window. I start freaking out a bit, but im still laying on her bed with a few people. theres a pause in the middle of the conversation, and all of a sudden, the fvcking window gets smashed in. Everyone jumps and screams, except for Kristina because she's such a bad ass. She screams " What the fvck!" and heads out with her paintball gun and says she saw some kids running away, jumping a fence. We all wonder what could of caused someone to do something so stupid, but then I remembered how before we went into Kristina's room, Brenda and a few others were out walking around her block ( idk why, but they left half way during the party to get some air) and I guess they said some racist things about black people, and they over heard them... That's some messed up crap lol

Back to the party.
So after the cops come and everything gets sorted out, The girls still want to play twister, so we do. Unfortunately, i get very unlucky and end up below some guy, so i pretend to fall and bail out of twister. We end up playing spin the bottle, but instead of a bottle, we use the Twister spinner. I'm not going to lie, I missed a chance to kiss Edith without the bottle because she kept insisting we play it while we played twister. I could of looked at her and said " We don't need a bottle to kiss", but I thought about her kissing me infront of her two close chick friends, and thought she may come off as a slut. Plus, what if she rejected me? For some reason, I thought it would make some huge akwardness. Either way...
I kiss Kristina (brute )3 times
I kiss Brenda ( old one itus ) twice
I kiss Edith ( mexican with braces ) once.
Whenever it landed on a guy, we just skipped it or had a " bro hug", no homo stuff lol. It was cool kissing the girls, it helped get my mind off of Monica and I finally got kissing them out of the way. Unfortunately, i wasn't the only guy playing spin the bottle, because everyone shared kisses. It felt a little gross, but It was still nice. I noticed that by the end of spinning the bottle, Brenda Kino'd me more ( rubbing against me while we stood, tickling me, poking me), and before we played Edith was kinoing me by hugging me randomly, and laying next to me for a cuddle. unfortuntaely, I can't tell if they are just being their flirty, friendly self, or if its some major IOI. Either way, I kissed them all, and it was cool to get it out of the way. It's funny that although all the girls were pretty flirty and seemed lustful, when it came time to kiss, they put up their slut defense and some major LMR, so that when it was time to kiss, they would give a quick peck and chicken sh1t out. I kissed like I would with Monica, which was kinda with passion I guess. I closed my eyes and went straight in, and held it, like i'm not sure how to explain it but it wasn't anything close to what the girls did. for example, Brenda had this habit of opening her eyes during the kiss and staring up. for the most part, most of the girls came in, pecked, and got the hell outta there though lol. I mean, it was their idea to play, none of the guys suggested it...

In the end, I probably came off with some major cool points in everyone's book, because I got along with everyone, guys and girls. I wouldn't say I was the life of the party, b/c everyone had a split in the moment, but i think if i didn't show up, there wouldn't be as much laughter because I had everyone smiling and joking.

 

[eaglez1177]

Time to digest

11.21.09 Beach Clean up

So for whatever reason, we didn't have anyone bring water. So one of my old teachers, Mr. L, went to a store and bought a huge amount of water bottles. When everyone was lined up to get water, I noticed people running in, grabbing water, and getting out of there because it was getting crowded. I didn't notice it before, But monica was right in front of me. She grabbed a bottle, turned around, and saw me. She grabbed another one and said " Here duy" I simply looked at her surprised and thanked her. I mean, honestly, I'm not sure if i would have grabbed her a water bottle, but it made me think about how nice she is. I started to think about her a lot, when I would see her in her short shorts, I looked at her legs and immediately started to lust them. I just imagined how it would be to kiss her all over again, and then it struck me how painful it was to just see her for more than a second, without kissing her. It really started to get in my head, and I just thought about it and thought about it. I thought about how if I tried to talk to her, and we get back together, chances are very slim that we would last long because we didn't connect well in the first place. But then I started to think about all the kissing we did and how great it made me feel. Besides realizing how much I loved kissing, it made me think about her. All i know is im not over her, because every time I see her, I feel like grabbing another girl and pretending to forget about her, in hopes of getting Monica Jealous again. It can't be healthy to be thinking like this Yea this is not good thinking. If you follow the breakup guide though and the advice ive given you, time will eventually heal things and you'll stop thinkin about her. Whenever you feel yourself starting to think about her, just try to stop those thoughts by starting a conversation with someone.

Im not sure if its because I miss getting " passionate and lustful" with her, or if I really miss her. I know she misses me, but some of her friends that don't like me are probably supporting her better than my friends, because they are probably telling her what a "jerk" i am, so shes probably handling this much better than I am.

EDIT: After some thinking, I think there are two ways to do this.One is to end all this is to cut contact cold turkey. The problem with this is I really don't want to be an @$$hole, because she is really nice. I mean, Monica is a sweet sweet girl, despite anything i've posted about her being bossy. She's just so friendly and kind to everyone, and no i don't mean to defend her or kiss her ass, but everyone i know loves her to death because she is just that friendly and nice. Plus I don't want to turn into a jerk, and lead her to think that after every relationship, the guy will be an @$$.

the 2nd way is to find another girl, which is what im working on.this is what you mainly have to do But I need to find someone to get my mind off of her fast, because I don't think its very productive for anyone to be thinking about an ex this much.its not, but trust me, its natural. Everyone goes through this stage. It'll pass soon.

11.21.09 Late night Party

So Kristina (Brute) invited me to her birthday party last minute. I made her an origami 5$ bill, and put it inside a watch box for a gift. Long story short, I get to her house at 7:30, a little late, but I see its Edith ( Mexican girl with braces ) and my friend Chacon ( just some guy). I hang out, and we play rockband for a bit and more people show up. In total, we have about 5 guys and three girls, but we have so much fun. There was all sorts of kino from all the girls , but it wasn't just with me, they kino'd a few of the guys too, so it made it difficult to tell whether or not there was an IOI for more escalation or if they were just being themselves outside of school. Dont get yourself caught between thinkin if its an IOI or them just bein "themselves outside of school". Its better to take things as IOIs rather than just shrug them off as nothing (simply because if you take it more as an IOI, theres more of a chance you will act upon the girl).

Paranormal activity.....
The girls want to play twister and spin the bottle. We're in Kristina's room and before we start, Kristina stands against her glass window and talks about her house being haunted, which scares the sh1t out of me. I make it plainly aware by jokingly saying " oh my god, don't say that! don't the ghost's name!" Suddenly theres a tapping at her window. I start freaking out a bit, but im still laying on her bed with a few people. theres a pause in the middle of the conversation, and all of a sudden, the fvcking window gets smashed in. Everyone jumps and screams, except for Kristina because she's such a bad ass. She screams " What the fvck!" and heads out with her paintball gun and says she saw some kids running away, jumping a fence. We all wonder what could of caused someone to do something so stupid, but then I remembered how before we went into Kristina's room, Brenda and a few others were out walking around her block ( idk why, but they left half way during the party to get some air) and I guess they said some racist things about black people, and they over heard them... That's some messed up crap lolwtf? so they legit smashed in the window?

Back to the party.
So after the cops come and everything gets sorted out, The girls still want to play twister, so we do. Unfortunately, i get very unlucky and end up below some guy, so i pretend to fall and bail out of twister. We end up playing spin the bottle, but instead of a bottle, we use the Twister spinner. I'm not going to lie, I missed a chance to kiss Edith without the bottle because she kept insisting we play it while we played twister. I could of looked at her and said " We don't need a bottle to kiss", but I thought about her kissing me infront of her two close chick friends, and thought she may come off as a slut.Ahhh dude you cant keep getting all these seconds thoughts in your head! You shouldve said what came to your mind right that minute, and just gone in for the kill. You gotta stop overthinking things, thinkin about whats goin thru her mind, and stop doubting your thoughts. Plus, what if she rejected me? For some reason, I thought it would make some huge akwardness. If she rejects you, you just laugh it off and mayb say somethin like "ohh i was just kiddin" or sum bs like that idk. Dont be afraid of rejection, its GOING to happen eventually.Either way...
I kiss Kristina (brute )3 times
I kiss Brenda ( old one itus ) twice
I kiss Edith ( mexican with braces ) once.
Whenever it landed on a guy, we just skipped it or had a " bro hug", no homo stuff lol. It was cool kissing the girls, it helped get my mind off of Monica and I finally got kissing them out of the way. Unfortunately, i wasn't the only guy playing spin the bottle, because everyone shared kisses.Jw but were these peck kisses or legit makeouts? It felt a little gross, but It was still nice. I noticed that by the end of spinning the bottle, Brenda Kino'd me more ( rubbing against me while we stood, tickling me, poking me), and before we played Edith was kinoing me by hugging me randomly, and laying next to me for a cuddle. unfortuntaely, I can't tell if they are just being their flirty, friendly self, or if its some major IOI.Well if any girl is kinoing you, that would definitely be a flirty IOI (at least thats how i wud take it). Idk why you would want to take a girls kino as being friendly. You want avoid friendly lol. Either way, I kissed them all, and it was cool to get it out of the way. It's funny that although all the girls were pretty flirty and seemed lustful, when it came time to kiss, they put up their slut defense and some major LMR, so that when it was time to kiss, they would give a quick peck and chicken sh1t out. pshh thats gayyyI kissed like I would with Monica, which was kinda with passion I guess. I closed my eyes and went straight in, and held it, like i'm not sure how to explain it but it wasn't anything close to what the girls did. for example, Brenda had this habit of opening her eyes during the kiss and staring up.what the fvck for the most part, most of the girls came in, pecked, and got the hell outta there though lol. I mean, it was their idea to play, none of the guys suggested it...thats weird as hell lol. Not to mention you guys are SENIORS in highschool, so the fact that your playin spin the bottle, on top of not even doin a real kiss, seems extremely immature to me. (i think i played spin the bottle in like 8th grade)

In the end, I probably came off with some major cool points in everyone's book, because I got along with everyone, guys and girls. I wouldn't say I was the life of the party, b/c everyone had a split in the moment, but i think if i didn't show up, there wouldn't be as much laughter because I had everyone smiling and joking.

 

[BongDuy]

Yea this is not good thinking. If you follow the breakup guide though and the advice ive given you, time will eventually heal things and you'll stop thinkin about her. Whenever you feel yourself starting to think about her, just try to stop those thoughts by starting a conversation with someone.

Will do.

wtf? so they legit smashed in the window?

I mean, I didn't see anyone, but Kristina kept insisting that she knew who did it.

thats weird as hell lol. Not to mention you guys are SENIORS in highschool, so the fact that your playin spin the bottle, on top of not even doin a real kiss, seems extremely immature to me. (i think i played spin the bottle in like 8th grade)

well to be fair, only me and this other guys were seniors.The other guys were like juniors and sophmores, The Kristina is a junior and and Brenda/ Edith are Sophmores.
haha they were being all stupid about kissing, like they would half ass them. Maybe they're inexperienced, because i was going for the real deal kiss

 

[BongDuy]

11.23.09

Alyssa
So nothing interesting happen today, atleast not that im aware of. I start my morning talking to some guys on the bus stop and Alyssa shows up. Incase you guys forgot, Alyssa is the girl a few pages back that invited me over to her house, and her mom was piss drunk and telling me about her breast. yeah, it was awkward. We ended up talking about games because she works at gamestop and she mentioned left 4 dead 2, and i mention how i haven't played it. Instantly she says " You should come over to play" And to be honest, I am kind of tempted to come over and play some games because i dont have much else to do to be honest.

Morning...
After the bus ride, I get to school and I sit down next to brenda, edith, and some guys who were at the party. We start talking and I noticed kristina ( Brute) isnt here, so I ask " wheres kristina? ". Brenda ( old one itus ) says that she isnt here and questions me, asking " oooo, kristina? why do you want to see her?" I reply with " nothing, its just she's usually here". We ended up talking about Kristina's party last saturday, and i teased them by telling them they're all bad kissers, and Edith ( mexican with the braces) says that the reason why she wasn't kissing was because there was nobody there that she wanted to kiss, even though spin the bottle was pretty much the girl's idea. Kristina ends up not comming to school in the morning, and My friend Nye ( goth looking chick) comes by and starts talking to me. nothing too interesting here.

Lunch
So our school has two lunches. A and B. I have A, and most of my friends have B, so my 5th hour ends when B lunch ends. This means I typically run into Kristina, Brenda, Edith, and a bunch of my guy friends as I walk to my 6th hour, gym. I see them and I go to hug Kristina First. When I do, Brenda looks at her and says " That's ALL you're going to give him??" I turn to Edith To kiss her on the cheek, while Kristina says to Brenda " Well I always hug him.", and then I hug Brenda, in which she grabs me tightly and smashes my cheek against hers. Im not sure what that whole " That's all you're going to give him" talk was about.

But yeah, ever since the party, I'm totally eyeing Kristina more than ever. At the party she wore this light blue skin tight shirt, a white belt and these sexy short shorts, and it showed off some assets i never noticed on her, which includes her amazing legs and sexy ass! holy crap does she have a donk! Im totally digging Kristina right now, I want to get to know her more and see where I can take things with her. Im just finding it difficult to see any IOI's from her, but maybe things will change. I'll just try to pay more attention to her.

Other stuff
So I downloaded a book on Body language and some basic readings of it, and im learning how to read people's body language since it makes up 93% of conversations. Im taking notes and just learning about important factors, such as closing your body off. nothing mind blowing here though.

Also, im cutting off all masturbation from my system for as long as I can. My ideal goal is to go 2 weeks, which wouldn't be bad considering that I do this very very often. The goal is to see if I see any improvement in my energy, motivations and feelings. I will be keeping a seperate journal, my old record was 5 days. I will see how this feels. I'm actually on day 2 today, and I noticed that when I think of any decent looking girl, I imagine doing the dirty with them. Can't get much better than this, can it? I hear that after 3 days, it gets that much easier. I just don't want wet dreams, because I think i remember having them as a little kid, and they weren't the best way to start the morning

really funny Brenda Edit
So im talking to my friend george on facebook, and he mentions how brenda was talking about the whole spin the bottle thing. she puts my friend Chacon on blast ( for those who don't know, it means "making fun of") basically saying that his acne was a total turn off and just ugly. She ended up saying that I was the one that all the girls had least problems kissing. BOO YAH!!