Moved in with girlfriend and no sex

lordson

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its just the way it is man, at least i think so anyway

people don't joke about how married coupels have no sex if its true. after a while you get settled in, and the relationship isn't so new anymore, and sex isn't as exicitng because its not a new partner.

i dunon, maybe you ask too much, i ask my girl every night and i only get it once a week,a nd its only ever when she feels like it. and she jsut doens't feel like it. and thats just something i fail to understand. but it is what it is

tell me if you resolve your situation, would love to know how
 

DJinTraining06

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lordson said:
its just the way it is man, at least i think so anyway

people don't joke about how married coupels have no sex if its true. after a while you get settled in, and the relationship isn't so new anymore, and sex isn't as exicitng because its not a new partner.

i dunon, maybe you ask too much, i ask my girl every night and i only get it once a week,a nd its only ever when she feels like it. and she jsut doens't feel like it. and thats just something i fail to understand. but it is what it is

tell me if you resolve your situation, would love to know how

Well glad im not the only one. Seems like i always here people say 5-6 times a week or 3-4 with a girlfriend. I dont ask, i occasioanally ill try to get close to her, maybe a little touchin stuff like that but when shes cold as ice ignoring me with no reciprocation, or she starts doin something to distract herself. if i resolve it ill let ya know, lol not likely. She went tout with her friends after work for drinks tonight. I just got home from work a lil while ago so im just relaxing tonite. She's been sayin all week she had a cold and this morning said its really bad and finally became a full fledged cold. Yet she went out for drinks and is stayin out late tonight prob wont be home till 1 or 2 am. Now guaranteed shell go straight to sleep when she gets home and say shes so siiiiick. I'm dying to see what she does tonite when she gets home. Ill be shocked if she wants to do it.
 

yuppaz

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Here are some tricks for you:
1. get her to drink a little at home with you, make her relax and horny. I saw a study that showed that drinking lowers inhibitions.
2. Be a f*cking absolute horndog at home, I did this with my recent X and she f*cking started loving the ****, get kinky as hell with her, buy ostritch feathers and a small sexy whip and chase her around spanking her ass. Tell her you are gonna fvck the **** out of her sexy little @ss.
3. Demand that she take off her clothes because she is making you way too horny in her (XXXX could be anything, even stinky old sweats) and that you need to have your hard c*ck inside of her right f*cking now.
4. Get naked in front of her and whip your d*ck right in front of her from side to side and make a little song to go along with it

In short, start acting like a fvcking total horn dog for her and make her think it is because you turn her on so much and if she asks why, just tell her you can't help it, it's the way you feel (girl code for I can screw for no reason whatsoever because feelings are involved). All the sh*t above I used to do when I started lifting weights way more and my testosterone started building like a mofo. Be the F*cking man that wants to do her hard and sloppy and she will submit to you and absolutely love it and you for it.
 

DJinTraining06

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Interesting. they like it when u take charge right?

yuppaz said:
Here are some tricks for you:
1. get her to drink a little at home with you, make her relax and horny. I saw a study that showed that drinking lowers inhibitions.
2. Be a f*cking absolute horndog at home, I did this with my recent X and she f*cking started loving the ****, get kinky as hell with her, buy ostritch feathers and a small sexy whip and chase her around spanking her ass. Tell her you are gonna fvck the **** out of her sexy little @ss.
3. Demand that she take off her clothes because she is making you way too horny in her (XXXX could be anything, even stinky old sweats) and that you need to have your hard c*ck inside of her right f*cking now.
4. Get naked in front of her and whip your d*ck right in front of her from side to side and make a little song to go along with it

In short, start acting like a fvcking total horn dog for her and make her think it is because you turn her on so much and if she asks why, just tell her you can't help it, it's the way you feel (girl code for I can screw for no reason whatsoever because feelings are involved). All the sh*t above I used to do when I started lifting weights way more and my testosterone started building like a mofo. Be the F*cking man that wants to do her hard and sloppy and she will submit to you and absolutely love it and you for it.
 

yuppaz

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They do indeed, but remember that she feels what you feel and she will be turned on if you turn her on. It isn't something that she owes you but something that she feels. If you do that kind of stuff for a bit (at least a few days when she is off her rag) and she doesn't want you, then she might be fvcking someone else, or is just not very sexual at all.

Another thing you can do is show her that you are totally open to talking about all things sex (things you wanna do with her and things that you like, get her involved and DON'T JUDGE) with total confidence. You have to start her thinking about sex for it to happen, just like a lot of dj advice for dating.
 

yuppaz

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stuff I just thought about that I did as a horny mofo:

Dominate (not mean, but in charge):

sit behind her when she's on the couch or something, whisper in her ear about how the way she smells is turning you on, if she responds (gets closer etc.) tell her how you just want to tear her clothes off, bend her over and f*ck her right now

come up behind her and rub her shoulders, tell her she looks tense and that she needs a massage, get her on the bed, get some oild and give her a rub down, have her sit up and lean back against you so you can get her shoulders, do em a little then rub the titties, rub her inner thighs have her lay back down on her stomach and take off her panties (she'll already be really wet) rub her ass, thighs again on that side, take off your cloths and rub your **** on her **** for a bit and enter. Foreplay like that is a massive turn on to her and she won't be able to resist.

For the feather thing get a cheapo blindfold and the feather and have her put it on and tickle her all over. Just the idea of you getting that stuff makes her think of sex and she'll want to f*ck
 

bornyesterday

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You can do Kegel exercises any time of the day anywhere. You dont have to flip out your **** for it. Do it at work, behind your desk, while waiting for the bus whatever. 3 times a week could already make a difference if you do it right but it isnt enough.

I'm not saying she is not responsible for her own faults. But what can you do about that? You must take responsibility for your own situation. If you blame her, if you feel mistreated, if you feel it is not fair, you have lost your power and control over your own life. You are a victim. (btw she probably feels like a victim as well. If you both fee like victims communication will be nigh impossible.)
If you are denying you are doing that right now, then please take some time to think about what you are doing, take a look inside and be honest.

This looks like easy and standard advice but these are things that are very hard to do. I honestly even think not everyone is capable of doing it.

Stop blaming her and yourself (blaming is bad, taking responsibility is good). Try to work it out positively. If she's not willing to work for it, well.....
 

Clarky

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Yuppaz advice is spot on.

Everytime I initiate sex with my girlfriend I get it, ofcourse there was been times when she has gone 'i'm tired' 'i'm ill' it takes a matter of seconds to turn a woman on if you know what you're doing and once you have there is seriously no going back :)

Dominance is perhaps the most vital tool in turning girls on, once she was just lying on top of me on my bed, next minute i flipped her over so i was ontop, pinned her hands behind her back got her breasts out and started sucking them which drives her CRAZY ;)

She struggled for a minute before she starts going on about how ive 'made a mess in her pants that needs taking care of.'

Now obviously if you are sh!t at foreplay and start controlling your girlfriend about your gonna get a slap in the face. Now no girl in the world doesn't like sexual pleasure, so if you give her some and take it away no chance in hell she will come up with excuses.
 

DJinTraining06

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Well i tried to just dominate and it worked yesterday afternoon. We had a fight th enight before and were still angry in the morning. Then early afternoon she started acting really nice to me cuz i wasnt apologizing cuz i was not wrong. i suppose that approach worked.


Clarky said:
Yuppaz advice is spot on.

Everytime I initiate sex with my girlfriend I get it, ofcourse there was been times when she has gone 'i'm tired' 'i'm ill' it takes a matter of seconds to turn a woman on if you know what you're doing and once you have there is seriously no going back :)

Dominance is perhaps the most vital tool in turning girls on, once she was just lying on top of me on my bed, next minute i flipped her over so i was ontop, pinned her hands behind her back got her breasts out and started sucking them which drives her CRAZY ;)

She struggled for a minute before she starts going on about how ive 'made a mess in her pants that needs taking care of.'

Now obviously if you are sh!t at foreplay and start controlling your girlfriend about your gonna get a slap in the face. Now no girl in the world doesn't like sexual pleasure, so if you give her some and take it away no chance in hell she will come up with excuses.
 

WORKEROUTER

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You need to get her out or leave yourself. Believe me no point in trying to get sex from a girl who doesn't want. It ends up being a chore and wastes your time.
 

yuppaz

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Dude, you are on the right track. She is attracted to you because you aren't acting like a needy weeny, but a MAN BABY A MAN! Dominate that sh*t and make her feel like you just want her tight little tw@t NOW!
 

DJinTraining06

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yuppaz said:
Dude, you are on the right track. She is attracted to you because you aren't acting like a needy weeny, but a MAN BABY A MAN! Dominate that sh*t and make her feel like you just want her tight little tw@t NOW!

ok its been over a month since i posted about this and it seemed like the prob was solved. Wrong! She now doesn't even give me the opportunity to dominate her. She will all of a sudden become busy with soemthing at the slightest hint of me about to try and touch her or get close. It's aboslutely impossible and she seems to think its completely normal to have sex once every 7-10 days sometimes less than that, occcasionalty but very occasionally more. So lately ive been gettin really really pissed. Its bad enough i moved into an apartment and now im paying large amounts of moeny and its basically like i live alone anyway since shes in bed by 9 or 10, 11 tops on weekends unless were out and she drinks and passes out or throws up when she gets home so no sex then.

Tonite was the first time i started showing my displeasure when she said she was going to bed and ignored me touching her on the couch at 9:40. i gave her the cold shoulder and she was like im goin to bed u can chancge the channel and i was like yea watever and shes like wats wrong, im like nothing and she went to bed lookin all worried. I almost said something bout the lack of sex but i stopped myself cuz i dont know how its gonna go over. I feel like shes gonna throw a fit and say i only care bout that or watever.
 

GuanYu

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Dude you two live with each other. You'd better start being straight up with her or this could turn ugly.

You put yourself in this position. If you're going to remain in this you should try to improve things. Holding back in fear of what she thinks is a huge mistake. Tell her about your displeasure. You don't have to be a jacka$$ about it, just be smooth. Tell her how much she turns you on, feel her up more, be romantic, etc...

I don't know the full details, but maybe you're not being romantic enough? Women respond well when you're romantic ..especially if you live with them I imagine. Definitely stop keeping things to yourself tho...

Not only is it pvssy to not tell her about things, but it makes you look weak by acting all angry and being afraid to tell her why. You two are in this together so start being more upfront with her.
 

DJinTraining06

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GuanYu said:
Dude you two live with each other. You'd better start being straight up with her or this could turn ugly.

You put yourself in this position. If you're going to remain in this you should try to improve things. Holding back in fear of what she thinks is a huge mistake. Tell her about your displeasure. You don't have to be a jacka$$ about it, just be smooth. Tell her how much she turns you on, feel her up more, be romantic, etc...

I don't know the full details, but maybe you're not being romantic enough? Women respond well when you're romantic ..especially if you live with them I imagine. Definitely stop keeping things to yourself tho...

Not only is it pvssy to not tell her about things, but it makes you look weak by acting all angry and being afraid to tell her why. You two are in this together so start being more upfront with her.

Well the last and only time i told her i wasnt happy about it and didnt understand why she suddenly never wanted to have sex when we moved in together she turned it on me and starting crying and sh*t. She acted like it was some shock to her when i said she never elts me go near her and actually had the nerve or the lunacy to say "u dont even try to start it with me" To which i just looked at her with a blank stare and mouth open for like 30 seconds cuz i didnt know how to respomnd to something so ridiculous. As someone replied earlier logic isnt a womans strongpoint but seriosuly now u cant just turn what i say right around to me, when u know damm well u get annoyed whenever i try and touch u, ignore me, or pretend ur busy and stop making urself available.

As for being more romantic, like i said she doesnt give me a chance to do anything. I suse to bear hug her from behind and kiss her and sh*t lkiek that which she loved, and now she screams get off im tired, i gotta go to bed, or even middle of a sat afternoon - "i need a nap". I agree with u bout not keepin it in and being a wuss not telliu n her, but wat im also afraid of is onc eu talk about somehtin like that its never gonna be the same. y aknow what i mean? Like some things shouldnt have to be talked about and thats one of them. IOnce u have that discussion or agurment which it will become with her, then every time we do have sex that wiull b on our minds, and now shes gonna do it as like an obligation which is not wat i want.
 

Captain

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Before I give any advice: I haven't read this entire thread.

Kegels: Yea ive been tryin that but its kinda hard when u get 2 or 3 chances a month to practice. Each time its like uh oh this may be my last time for another 2 weeks.
Just do them when you're sitting at the computer, or lying in bed. It's not like you're doing anything more important in bed, is it? :rolleyes:

DJinTraining06 said:
As for being more romantic, like i said she doesnt give me a chance to do anything. I suse to bear hug her from behind and kiss her and sh*t lkiek that which she loved, and now she screams get off im tired, i gotta go to bed, or even middle of a sat afternoon - "i need a nap". I agree with u bout not keepin it in and being a wuss not telliu n her, but wat im also afraid of is onc eu talk about somehtin like that its never gonna be the same. y aknow what i mean? Like some things shouldnt have to be talked about and thats one of them. IOnce u have that discussion or agurment which it will become with her, then every time we do have sex that wiull b on our minds, and now shes gonna do it as like an obligation which is not wat i want.

She will all of a sudden become busy with soemthing at the slightest hint of me about to try and touch her or get close
Relationships should be fun. You aren't enjoying this, she's acting immature and frigid, it's time for you to leave her and move on with your life.

I almost said something bout the lack of sex but i stopped myself cuz i dont know how its gonna go over. I feel like shes gonna throw a fit and say i only care bout that or watever.
It's time to move on. Relationships are about fun, as I said before, you aren't having fun if you are walking on eggshells.

ts bad enough i moved into an apartment and now im paying large amounts of moeny
If you've moved out, the next step is to leave her.

i occasioanally ill try to get close to her, maybe a little touchin stuff like that but when shes cold as ice ignoring me with no reciprocation, or she starts doin something to distract herself
She's lost interest in you. She'll cheat. Doesn't matter if it's her problem or you've messed up somewhere, she's lost (most?) interest.

She hated her home life. She used to cry alot over thigns that were happeneing there
Damaged goods.

I think shes just lazy and takin me for granted
You are no longer a challenge to her. You've taken her behaviour for months already. Move on.

I am so pissed tonight I wanna just leave.
You said it yourself, you're not happy with this relationship.

she totally denied that it was her fault
You have let the interest level drop over time. You let her control you. Remember that for next time. It doesn't matter whose fault it is at this point, you aren't having sex, you're relationship is weak, it's time to find another woman.

I never even bring up the sex thing
You should. You had a chance to fix this when the problem had started. Now it's too late. You should have seduced her, flirted hard, and if that didn't work, ditch her quickly.

She has lost interest in you. At the end of the day, she may have her faults, but you've let her interest slide. Don't hang on, get rid of her and find another woman.
 

DJinTraining06

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DonGorgon said:
Its over... move on.. she has...

That's the thing tho she doesnt want it to be over. We live together and she keeps jokin bout how she wants me to put a ring on it and at more serious times talks about us being married in the future. its kind of an understood thing with us without it being spoken that were gonna get married eventually. i woudlnt have moved in with her otherwise, i actually was gonna get a ring but some financial issues held me back and im waiting another half a yr or so. But now shes scaring me a lil with this. I feel like i live with one of the golden girls. Hey sure i go out and have a good time with the guys, but being that i pay alot of money for rent and bills and when im not out, im up alone at 9-10 pm every night without ever having sex, well sh*t its like i have my own place without the freedom and advantages of a bachelor pad. I was living at home still and i thought it sucked but I was spending no money and getting 50% more sex.
 

DJinTraining06

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"She has lost interest in you. At the end of the day, she may have her faults, but you've let her interest slide. Don't hang on, get rid of her and find another woman."

She talks about and hinting about us being married so if she lost interest why does she still intend to be married to me pretty soon. She's attractive and gets hit on in bars all the time, it cant be that shes desperate.
 

Jitterbug

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Kick the b!tch out of the apartment. It's over.

This only scares you a little and you're still thinking of marrying this chick? You're insane!!!
 

DJinTraining06

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Jitterbug said:
Kick the b!tch out of the apartment. It's over.

This only scares you a little and you're still thinking of marrying this chick? You're insane!!!

Well thats why im freakin out here man. If this keeps up i aint marryin her. Pretty soon ill have kids and my window to actually enjoy such things will be completely over. So i think im def gonna say somethin to her, possibly even tomorow. If she goes straight to bed and doesnt let me get near her tom night im gonna ask her what the deal is. Is she not attracted to me physically? Am i not satisfyin her in bed? Last time she came twice and trust me it wasnt fake i wont go into details but it wasnt. Could it be soemthing else? Is it some sh*tty mind game shes playing?

Im not sure wat to say, i want to say it right if u know what i mean. I know im not remotely wrong here, but i still feel like a pig for saying somethin to her about it. i know i shouldnt feel like that cuz we only have sex 3-4 times a month when u look at surveys out there where the average married couple has sex 126 times a yr before kids, and were not even married and have it maybe 50 times a year if this goes on. but for some reason it does make me feel like a jerk or pig. ANy advice on how to brign this up to her, and how to go about it?
 
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