Modro's Self Improvement Quest!

[Modro]

week 14 day 6:

Slightly late for work, no worries. On lunch it was raining so i took the office umbrella with me, on the way back i see a few people that work for our company including the old receptionist (the one ages ago in the kitchen) she moved jobs to the upstairs office. she didnt have an umbrella and saw me, i knew what was coming so i started to jog away as she chased me to get under the umbrella haha, she then linked arms with me and we chatted she is american so alot more open the normal women i find.

Also spoke to a women when i went to make some teas, i never normally do it as i dont drink it myself. But as was making her self a cup and was kinda in the way so we were working round each other she passed me the milk, didnt get her name but she seemed a little bit older then me and potentially engaged.

when i got home ate went to the gym, threw up afterwards and just came here to update the last 2 days, i am now going to read a couple of Pooks thifteen lessons, but im feeling really good this week actually. got an ice hockey game on sunday so cant wait for that

 

[Bonhomme]

my hair colour i just see myself with all these negative comments to put me down, jokingly from friends or random idiots shout about it that my trust in my appearance has gone. Sometimes i feel like i look good, others not so much. Even with my better looking body i still feel 2nd class alot of the time.

Don't worry about that, Modro. My rule is that you must look OK if you have any reasonably hot gals hitting on you. Everyone has different preferences, anyway. I don't consider myself model material, but some gals do... and I'll run with that .

It looks like you've got a pretty good handle on what to work on, where you're doing well, and where you've been slipping up. It just takes a bit of time to sort things out... but there will always be some ups and downs, with overall progress.

 

[Modro]

week 14 day 6:

Some girl from work who is in the north of the country who rings in has been emailing me and added me on facebook, she is far far away and in a relationship but you can tell she loves talking to me so thats cool,

I also went upstairs and made a lady (25) give me a chewing gum after i fixed her problems and chatted for a bit

went out to the club as well, nothing too interesting happened, went and danced alot saw a few mates etc

i nearly got raped

basically this short chubby girl stops me as im walking back from the bathroom, she grabs my arm so i stop

Fatty: Do i know you?
Me: err No (puzzled)
(i go to leave, and she stops me and points to her cheek to kiss, so im thinking **** it ill kiss her cheek and she'll **** off, now i lean in slightly and she turns and opens her mouth i swiftly back up and say sorry and walk off lol)

i later see her get led out by the bouncers for being too drunk no doubt

 

[Modro]

week 14 day 7:

played some football in the morning, then went to the pub with one mate, then back to his for a few rounds on the x box, went to the gym in the evening where i had a 10 minute conversation with the gym attendant nice guy and he always greets me now when i come in,

Also said hi to a hot receptionist there

 

[Anjuner]

Sterling Work

Modro,
First of all, thanks for giving me an entertaining read while I sit here totally wasted after a night on the tiles.
I'm a brit too, think it's slightly harder here due to culture to get girls' phone numbers, but easier to get them to "do stuff" early on...
Mate you have amazing work ethic... the fire service would be mental not to hire you.

I read a couple of your posts when you were downish and thought; the only reason he's down is that he's been kicking ass so much that simply what goes up must come down. I know you don't want to write this thing forever but even though the yanks don't comment I think you are fairly inspirational. Particularly level-headed esp. for your age.

Anyway nice work. But if I have to say one thing; get out of your comfort zone more with the girls. Recognise the fact that your comfort zone has expanded and act accordingly. It's fun

 

[Modro]

Thanks my friend, unfortunately i didnt get into the fireservice forgot to mention it, little bit annoyed but didnt make me upset too much, more like to work harder. The thing that messed it up for me is i left the form late, then there was something wroung using the online form, and a page was missing which i had to fill in 5 days after the cut off date, so i knew it wasnt good. (dunno if it was my mistake or the sites, they sent me an email to fill in the missing page)

Im feeling pretty good generally, still the being single with no REAL progress in my eyes does bring me down a little, women are not my sole goal but that doesnt mean i cant want to have them in my life as more then friends, its why we're all here?

The only thing that annoys me is i dont come into contact with women very often, so when there is one its like this big thing with some pressure added and i choke a bit and start wondering if im doing the right thing

But like i said the Holiday is less than 5 weeks away so this diary will have served its main purpose, getting my life back on track and improving how i act and the way i should act with people and getting over my ex girlfriend who i put everything into (i was single for 3 years previously so she was a big thing for me) i think that plays on my mind a bit, i dont want to be single for that long but at the moment i am certainly not desperate for a relationship.

 

[Modro]

Week 14 Tasks:

- Gym x4 ( mainly working on the chest)
Done

- Continue reading through Pook again
Done - read 2 articles

- Cut down on the PC time
Done - very happy barely spent as much time at home on it

- Go out again
Done

- Do things during the week
Done- went to the pub, went round friends, played xbox another day

- Keep being positive
Done- slowly improving this, thinking about im happy with my body and slowly getting a funky haircut and generally just trying to have a laugh

- Have fun playing ice hockey
Done - Had a good game

 

[Modro]

Week 15 tasks:

- Gym x4
- Keep busy during the week
- Read Waldens bootcamp for inspiration
- Read at least 1 Pook post
- Try stretching my comfort zone a little more, more conversations, more Hi's, consistant eye contact
- Open at least 1 girl (no excuses!)
- Look at maybe putting some blonde into my new style to put my mind at ease/look good while not hiding my actual hair colour
- keep having fun staying busy and positive and proactive
- Keep computer time down, even if its to go for a walk or look round blockbusters

 

[Modro]

week 15 day 1:

Woke up mid morning, gave my dad some gifts (couple of DVD's) for fathers day, we then had a BBQ out in the sun. After that i went to leave for ice hockey, well after driving 40 mins to get there i find it has been cancelled...(due to the ice conditions melting)

bit of waste of time, and money (petrol) by the time i got back it was late afternoon. i text my friend to make sure we are going to play pool like normal on a sunday. I also got invted to go round and watch a football match with a couple of my other friends but i decided to go play pool like normal.

I was 1 shot away from winning money, but it was a good friendly night out, they started play the worst songs ever created for a laugh on the juke box

after i admit i did come back and play a bit of PC games first time really since i started this, went to bed at like 1am again just like i used to but at the same time i liked it and was a fun to change it up a bit.

 

[Modro]

week 15 day 2:

Well i had run out of my first tub of Whey the day before, so today on my lunch i buy 2 tubs as they were less then half price so i stocked up on that.

i was there and i decided to keep stretching my out going boundaries so i asked how the women serving me day was and she was pleasant but not too talkative really but it was an OK exchange

Also had to fill up after work, and spoke to the guy in there asked him hows it going, when he finishes etc before leaving. so i am glad i did them,

My friend at work said whenever there was a girl i always take the chance to flirt (on the phone)

got home and went into town just so i didnt spend all the time on the PC, got some more mouth wash and hair stuff and some chicken bites, i got invited to play football tonight so that should be fun it was good last time.

keeping busy, keeping moving and not giving up, after football i am going to read a few pages of waldons. I also used some thinning sissors on my hair, it made it look pretty cool now its not so thick and it is easier to do the style i have at the moment ad the spikes look better

edit: had football we stayed had a drink after, also have read some walden

 

[Bonhomme]

Drag about the fireservice thing not coming through, but your attitude about it is good.

I was 1 shot away from winning money, but it was a good friendly night out, they started play the worst songs ever created for a laugh on the juke box

Now that must have been fun!

But like i said the Holiday is less than 5 weeks away so this diary will have served its main purpose, getting my life back on track and improving how i act and the way i should act with people and getting over my ex girlfriend who i put everything into (i was single for 3 years previously so she was a big thing for me) i think that plays on my mind a bit, i dont want to be single for that long but at the moment i am certainly not desperate for a relationship.

Looks like the holiday will do you good. Like Anjuner said, you have been hella dedicated, Modro. May be time to just chill a bit and let things sink in, so to speak. That's often when the best results come along, funny enough.

 

[Modro]

Yeah it should be great, we were talking about it after football yesterday. Cant wait to chill out with friends with loads of hot half naked girls around and a nice beer. Then going crazy at night

Week 15 day 2:

Today continuing of yesterday, being more open to people at lunch i spoke to the cashier she was in her 40's but was very plesant to me gave her eye contact smiles asked her how he day was and if it has been busy. She laughed at me for having chocolate cake (tiny slice for the meal deal) saying it was unhealthy

went to the gym the girl assistant was there she smiled at me as i was going up the stairs and when i went to sign in i smiled and said hi, i found a phone left on the side and went to habvd it in and start a convo, but she had just phoned her friend before i started to come up, but did stop and say ty then by as i was going.

in the name of cutting down PC time, i shall be watching a film, and going to read some more of Waldens adventures, he has made it easier for me to open up the chasiers etc of the world for me so far.

 

[Modro]

Week 15 day 3:

Got called a flirt again by my mate at work

something not good happened today, i decided to look at my ex's facebook page hadnt for ages, dunno why, Dont ask me but someone had tagged her in a photo of when she had left school (right when we started going out) she looked really good in it and was smiling and it just reminded me of her so much and i got choked up for a second before i closed down the page, im a little pissed off that im still so ****ed up about her if i see her. I havnt physically seen her for ages i have mentioned before her work is at the top of my road, i just walk past without looking in....

thankfully i have ice hockey tonight which i love so hope it gets the lingering thought that have flooded back in today out my head, otherwise have been feeling great this week i have started to feel alot more confidently about my looks and my body language is good but mainly my thinking has improved of myself

Also continued the openess with a Hi to someones dad who was my mates ex, so i dont know him very well, but i have been round there house.

got 15 mins till i leave so im going to continue waldens bootcamp reading im on page 4


Edit: got back from hockey prac did the job as soon as i started playing i didnt think of anything else, once when i was on the bench i thought about not thinking it lol

on the way out i said goodbye to a guy who works there who i have never met before. Also confirmed we are going out on saturday looking forward to that im going to push the boat out a little bit and try a few conversations see where they lead with no pressure, i kinda get sucked into my group of friends dancing with them getting drinks going bathroom that its hard to get a target without people talking to me all the time

 

[Modro]

week 15 day 4:

Today was good, overall i arranged a meeting down the pub, i asked if anyone wanted to come and play some pool, only 1 could make it as a few were working and had a problem at home. It was good fun actually and again got me out the house said hello to the bar maid saw some people that go there on Sunday said hi to them spoke to them briefly.

At work another girl added me on face book she even rang up again to try and get my second name after speaking to me (my colleague handed it out), i made her send me a pencil in the post for a make up present (which was hers) after she accidentally hanged up on me. when i got home she had poked me and she is very very hot. and lives somewhat near 25 Min's away is 24.

another was flirting with me on the phone then started to say i was flirting and pretended that i was asking her out for dinner etc i kinda denied flirting, saying sorry this is just me normally.

at lunch went and spoke to the cashier basic fluff again, BUT i had my first real choke, i saw a hot girl about 8.5 slim long brown hair nice boobs sitting on her own in the shopping center, i wanted to go say hi but i chickened out as she kept looking towards a shop like she was waiting for someone to come out.

Got invited out tomorrow as well as Saturday, it will be a quiet one I'm not drinking so i can save money, and it might be just 2-3 of us so this is better then the bigger group which distracts me a little. Then on sat i will have a few

I also went to the gym today, and when i was there a women was there with her kid (about 10-12) used me as an example for muscles when talking to her son. Also smiled at someone as i was leaving

started to feel a bit more confident in things and stop worrying about little ****, another positive move is i am going to apply for an IT job in the police force which will be starting 4k more then i have now so another potential step up to give me more money to invest in more positive things (sport, savings, hobbies) at the same time i have my appraisal next week and I'm going to ask for a raise as i deserve it.


edit: read some pook

 

[Bonhomme]

At work another girl added me on face book she even rang up again to try and get my second name after speaking to me (my colleague handed it out), i made her send me a pencil in the post for a make up present (which was hers) after she accidentally hanged up on me. when i got home she had poked me and she is very very hot. and lives somewhat near 25 Min's away is 24.

Good. Like the way you made her send you a pencil.

As for your shopping center "choke," don't make too much of it. Not like she was likely to be there wishing for some random bloke to pick her up, anyway. Pay more mind to the more "natural" PU situations.

started to feel a bit more confident in things and stop worrying about little ****, another positive move is i am going to apply for an IT job in the police force which will be starting 4k more then i have now so another potential step up to give me more money to invest in more positive things (sport, savings, hobbies) at the same time i have my appraisal next week and I'm going to ask for a raise as i deserve it.

Good again. By all means go for the raise. The worst thing that can happen is that they'll know of your self-confidence.

 

[onyx]

yo man i've just read all this and its inspirational. I think your right about American women been more open than the british girls though, i've noticed the same. I'm suprised you havn't had much success in terms of women, I don't think your pushing hard enough for the number.

I used to be in a similar situation to you a few years ago, didn't really have many people to go out with, was really shy and in a shell, had been in 6 month relationship which went down the pan (AFC on my part). I barely ever attracted women in clubs etc and never knew what to say to them. I don't know what changed really, I just found this site read up for a while and then wrote down what I wanted to change like you have. I guess it helps more when you have it down on paper, rather then in your head.

Alot of the time at the beginning I kinda put a act on, I think its easy to play a role than play yourself, but only you know your doing this, it gives you that intitial confidence boost i think

any ways I ain't the same person as I was back then (3 years ago). I'm ****y and funny and everything is just natural to me when I talk to women, I don't even think about approaching women in clubs its just like yeh if you don't wanna talk to me who cares? My mates even introduce me to lasses. The other week i met my mates in a bar, and they were with some chicks and they introduced me to them

mate: this is onyx
lasses: oh is this the guy you said is guranteed to make me laugh



then they open me its easy, especially when my mates have already bigged me up before i even arrived.

any ways continue with your quest...just thought i'd give you a reply of encouragement

 

[Modro]

week 15 day 6:

Was an HOUR late for work, the alarm didnt go off LOL

got called a flirt AGAIN

went to the gym for 55 minutes was a fantastic workout probably the best one i have had since starting this, just seemed really pumped, there was a girl who came in, she was kinda hot, so i stayed a little longer to see if she would leave at the same time so i could open her, in the end i gave up didnt want to do it infront of the gym assistant poor excuse but meh, she kept looking at me though

after leaving the gym smiled at a lady about 50

had a huge argument with my mum stood up to her, watched girl next door then got ready to go out, we left late got there at like 10:45

only had 1 pint so wasnt drunk, there was only 3 of us, both guys i dont know too well only a few months, while doing a lap round the club, i managed to make and hold eye contact with someone and smiled, she smiled back.

well later on i went to get a drink and she came next to me, but some guy was being creepy putting his kneee pretty much up her ass her she was facing me, she asked for help. in the end she went to the otherside of me , i decided to open her, she was about hb8, long black hair very slim nice face we chatted at the bar for about 3-4 mins i didnt go for the ****ing number though, but im am pretty sure i could have closed her. But i am happy i approached while sober had a decent c+f conversation. a decent anchor for more approaches tomorrow.

The convo

Her: Thanks for helping
Me: No problem
Her: I dont know why they think they can pick girls up like that, using a knee up my ass
Me: Oh i dont know i hear its great, (raising my knee) i do this all the time.
Me: Whats your name
Her: *****
(we shake hands)
Me: so who you here with tonight (good Q to find out about bf)
Her: House mates and a few other friends, for a birthday
Me: oh how old are they then,
her:20
Me: oh right so how old are you then?
Her: 19 , 20 next month
Me how old do you think i am?
Her: 19
Me: im 21!
Her well its good to look younger
me: yes i actually use anti wrinkle creams regulary
Her: who you here with?
Me: Couple of friends, so what do you do then?
Her: (soemthing to do with make up)
Me: any thing you can do with this (pointing to my face and smiling)
Her: well if you want to look different
Me: Nah im good how i am actually
her: she then made a jokey comment about it
Me: oi!

i cant really remember this point but we ended up parting ways, there was more about where she lives and going out arounf this area like what towns are good/bad too.

also spoke to a friend from footballs girlsfriend through out the night a couple of times

 

[Modro]

Week 15 day 7 :

Spent most the day relaxing, was pretty tired, managed to go to the gym for a quick 25 Min's i hurt my shoulder a little bit so i stopped and rested it.

brought a new shirt to go out in


went out, met everyone in a different location to where we normally go, but then me and the guys i went out with the day before, went to another pub as one of them knew someone in there and there was karaoke, it was pretty boring and it was filled with old people. we eventually go to the club, and i was knackered by this point just wasnt feeling it

went on the dance floor and some black women tries dancing on me, but not my type at all so i kind of move off.

the night itself was OK, didnt have much money but was looking for some people to approach, none seemed to be the right situation for me, either group of mixed people or big group etc

the last hour i was pretty much standing there not talking my feet were killing me, but one funny thing happened and i dont think i handled it great, i got approached basically these girls were walking past were i was anchored, and i managed to hold the eye contact of the last one, she initially walked past, then stopped and came up to me, (she was hammered)

Her: Its rude to stare you know
Me: OK then (smiling)
(her friend was the other side of me just staring at me, wasnt drunk at all)
Me: whats your name?
Her: (i cant remember it, but did a hand shake)
(tried to involve the friend, asked her name, and if she was as hammered did handshake, she didnt seem to impressed)
Me: so how much have you had?
Her: listed small bottle of vodka, along with a few bottles
(she was talking into my ear close, had my hand on her waist)

then it was nothing talk for a moment, before she went back to saying about the staring, saying i shouldn't stare again, i actually apologised (just said, oh i must apologise then) in the end as i got uncomfortable with her mate staring at me and her going on about it.

In the end we can chalk it down as a positive as i got approached, and started a conversation, but again no killer instinct for either a kiss, or number. if i had a wingman at that point defuse the girl just staring at me but none of my friends were paying attention

 

[Modro]

Week 15 tasks:

- Gym x4
Done

- Keep busy during the week
Done - went to the pub, played football, ice hockey, gym, pool, going out

- Read Waldens bootcamp for inspiration
In progress read 4 pages

- Read at least 1 Pook post
Done read 2-3

- Try stretching my comfort zone a little more, more conversations, more Hi's, consistant eye contact
Done kept talking to people throughout the week, smiles and eye contacts consistantly, plus the girls i approached, and people i met whilst in the club

- Open at least 1 girl (no excuses!)
Done - did 2

- Look at maybe putting some blonde into my new style to put my mind at ease/look good while not hiding my actual hair colour
Delayed - waiting for it to grow a little bit longer first

- keep having fun staying busy and positive and proactive

Done - alot more positive this week

- Keep computer time down, even if its to go for a walk or look round blockbusters

Done - kept busy all week, arranged stuff and watched films instead of just sitting on the computer alot,

 

[Modro]

Week 16 tasks:

- Gym x 3
- Continue reading Waldens bootcamp
- Continue to read through Pook
- Continue to keep busy and have fun/positive
- Continue to try open girls
- Take more of a chance and try to number close
- Try to keep computer time down