Marriage...

[Zimbabwe]

Biologically yes men want to Fvck multiple women yes, but for the sake of societal stability this is not good at all.

 

[andreihaha]

I don't believe that to be true @Be. There are many women who choose to not be married, especially these days. I happen to be acquainted with a few. Beautiful, intelligent, accomplished feminine women who believe in love and commitment but who choose for whatever reason to not be legally married.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

If a woman isn't/wasn't married by the time she's 40, there IS a reason for it. It may not be obvious to everyone, but there certainly is a reason.

 

[andreihaha]

She would be very silly to let her high value man roam free in the wilderness and sample other women. All these other women will be tempting him away from her and offering him better deals. If she’s younger, hotter, tighter then he’d ruthlessly discard her and switch his investment elsewhere. It happens. And women are not stupid. Women are highly evolved at ensnaring most men. But they struggle to ensnare an abundant alpha with options, much to her tingling pvssy’s dismay

And these are not the only risks she faces. She could be the youngest, hottest, tighter option for him, but if she has nothing in the brain department or is simply boring, the man might still find himself more attracted to a more interesting woman. There are many reasons for a woman to secure a life partner. And there are some for men to do the same.

And, even if few people here seem to almost never point this out, there are reasons both male and female partners share for marriage (having children in a healthy environment, living a Christian life, simply realising they found someone they're willing to spend the rest of their life with etc.)

 

[andreihaha]

I think the OP wasn't exactly on the topic of cheating at all and this has become kind of a sub-discussion within the "marriage" one -- however, I was responding to your previous post where you said that "unlike men" you were monogamous. The truth is both men and women have to go against their natural inclinations to be truly monogamous. And I am not looking to be argumentative with you about whether you are or you aren't (since I wouldn't know anyway). I do, however, know many women who have told me they are monogamous or "they would never cheat" (a favorite) but partake in the monkey-branching I described with a man (or men) they are interested in during the relationship. Again, that isn't monogamous. That is just making a preemptive strike.

We all people, regardless of our sex, have an inclination towards sin. Towards self destruction through sin even. Some of us have a stronger inclination, some a lesser one. Cheating is a part of this inclination.
But at the same time, we as people have this great gift called "free will". And this dictates how we live and also how we die.
Another thing that is affected by our free will is how people perceive us. This is why @OP is in this situation.

In this life, people will keep judging you by your actions. And it's as fair as things can be. Most of us will struggle in this battle between morality and sin until the day we die. And all the best of us can do is keep fighting, striving to become our best selves.

As to the OP I totally ignored so far, I feel like you don't know what to do because you don't know what you want. Look yourself in the metaphorical mirror and really think about it. If you want to be with her, all you can do is being honest. God knows if she can ever feel the same again with you, but you do your part. If what you want is to get away, say a nice goodbye and be on your way. In the end, in both situation the best thing to do is to be honest (with yourself and with her).

 

[RBK]

So m

Thanks for chiming in @Be and wanted to respond to this^. I understand you had many opportunities to cheat and never considered it, which of course is admirable but did you ever feel a "desire" to cheat? You weren't clear about that, hence why I'm asking.

Women aren't built this way. Women don't want a whole lot of random dcks they want ONE special dck.

 

[RBK]

This is what I always thought too. It's feminine energy. That for women, sex is emotional and our emotions are linked to the physical nature of it.

But perhaps that's too broad a generalization as well.

Like everything else, sex and our desire for sex can be very nuanced, not a 'one size fits all."

Men however are the opposite, we want a wholeeeee bunch of random women.

Mens cheating isn't because we don't love our spouse most of the time, we just want DIFFERENT. Womens cheating is because somewhere along the line men messed up in relationship. (Didn't lead, became beta, failed a provider whatever).

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not only that, but cheating reveals him as weak, not able to control himself, a lesser man. And women don't want to be seen with someone like that.

Someone told me once: "How can you take care of a family of you can't even control yourself?"

Eh. Fvcking another bvtch isn’t cheating. Having a full on affair is cheating. Male mammals are not sexually monogamous. I don’t know why modern humans are still trying to make something is that just isn’t.

Every woman that I’ve dated, and I’m sure a majority of them out there, have had past boyfriends that have physically “cheated” with other women. Of all income levels. All religions. All races. Men are just built this way.

 

[EyeBRollin]

So what, that still doesn't make cheating okay and if you think it does, there is something wrong with your value system.

Look I am not trying to shame you. And if you provided a valid argument other than “we’re men and men need a variety of sex with different women!” I’d be open to at least trying to understand your thought process for wanting to get married.

Marriage has nothing to do with love, sexual monogamy, or any of the other Disney propaganda you believe in.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Taking a vow to be faithful to your wife and marriage is not disney propaganda. I actually don't believe in all that disney fairytale crap either.
And like I said in my now-deleted post, if you don't intend to honor the vow, then don't make it. It's really that simple.

Pay attention, gentlemen.

The threat to the female mating strategy is so strong that Cat has to inject her shaming into someone else’s relationship. It is social engineering.

I am near a devoutly traditional religious neighborhood. Most of the marriages there are arranged or semi-arranged. And most of the local Uber drivers find themselves dropping hookers off into that same neighborhood.

What’s “love” have to do with any of this?

 

[DonJuanjr]

What’s “love” have to do with any of this?

Females - "I must know that I have fully manipulated a man to invest in me. So I am not left in the woods alone. I know this by him going against his vary nature, and sacrificing all other vaginas for mine in the name of true love." All subconscious thought of course.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This actually has nothing to do with women preventing men from doing anything, it's about some men believing it's okay to take a vow of fidelity in marriage and then breaking the vow HE made by lying to his wife and cheating. THAT is the issue, not women manipulating men to go against their nature. Again, not rocket science and baffled as to why you're having such difficultly understanding the difference.

It's simple. Don't take the vow, stay single. By doing so you're free to roam about with as many women as you desire and keep your character and integrity in tact.

Actually it does have to do with women and their egos. Male honor has nothing to do with intersexual mating dynamics.

Deception between two men has violent consequences. It causes wars. Deception itself is the entire female mating strategy.

Men, take notes. Women, including cat, take their understanding of male honor and use it to manipulate you. Women lie to get what they want from men. At the same time women want men to be 100% honest … not because they give a damn about honor. They want you to be honest so they can do exactly what the OPs wife did to him.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Lol, this is actually starting to be fun now.

A man cannot break the vow to remain faithful in marriage and remain loyal. It's one or the other. Remain loyal or break the vow (i.e. cheat).

I trust you know the definition of loyalty?

If not, see below:

The state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.

What I mean by loyalty is putting you as a priority above all other women. Yet again... You're deflecting by playing definition word games, when you realize the point I made, and refuse to address it. You can't be that dense as to not understand what I'm saying.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Lol, this is actually starting to be fun now.

A man cannot break the vow to remain faithful in marriage and remain loyal. It's one or the other. Remain loyal or break the vow (i.e. cheat).

I trust you know the definition of loyalty?

If not, see below:

The state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.

Man’s loyalty is protecting, providing, and willingness to take a bullet for his woman. Woman’s loyalty is not fvcking other dudes.

Men, this is why the first thing a woman asks when her man gets caught is “do you love her?”

P.S. I am sorry your experiences with women have been so traumatizing to cause you to think and feel this way, I truly am and I mean that sincerely mate. Hugs.

Que the shaming language…

 

[DonJuanjr]

How about answering the question re worded....

If a man is emotionally invested in you, puts you as a priority above all other women, and continues to provide for you, why does the vow of fidelity even matter? He's still in love with YOU. Not the side women.

 

[DonJuanjr]

In any event, we're going round in circles so it's pointless to continue discussion. You have your ways of thinking and I have mine.

Funny how you're incapable of answering the question...

You attached your own definition to the word according to your own frame, that at the time of my response, I knew nothing about.

Read eyebrollin's response to your reply... He gave you the difinition of men's loyalty as well. If you knew nothing about it, then you're not learning anything about male nature on this site.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Oh I'm plenty capable, just no longer interested.
Again I refer you to my avatar.

Yeah.... okay..... That's what I thought. You don't even know why it bothers you for a man to have women on the side if he still is in love with you, continues to protect and provide for you.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You're receiving the attention because you're debating a topic on morality with regards to the nature of men.

"Men you don't get married to a woman unless you only fvck her! I can't explain why you fvcking other women is a problem, but don't do it. You are immoral and lacking honor if you choose to act within your nature and break vows that are pointless."

Why demand pointless vows from men? A woman's vow should be that of monogamy towards her husband.... Not a man's vow to the wife.

 

[The Duke]

Lolz dudes, what exactly has Cats done to earn all of this free attention you're giving her?

She told everyone she was hot. That's all it took. I bet she has 20 new private messages every day from random sosuave dudes hoping to get with her.

 

[The Duke]

I believe it was @BillyPilgrim who asked yesterday what I had done to deserve all the attention I receive here. All the never ending questions and attempts to engage me in conversation even if such attention and engagement is to argue with my beliefs and/or attempts to insult me and knock me down.

I asked the same question myself the day before but received no response, just more questions! lol

Anyway, I respectfully request that you stop. I have said my piece, take or leave. Just as you do with the opinions of the men here.

The men here don't experience nearly the shyt that I have, both on the forum and in DM (you know who you are). Even when their beliefs align with mine.

Just stop. Which should be relatively easy going forward since I'm done here anyway.

My opinions are not valued here and there is no reason for you to continue to engage me.

You said back on page 2 you were going to bow out of the convo. Lol. It's fine if you want to learn, understand, and ask questions. But most of your advice isn't good for young/inexperienced guys trying to improve with women.

And how many times have you said you were going to leave for good? Your new avatar is great. Good bye!

 

[andreihaha]

Eh. Fvcking another bvtch isn’t cheating. Having a full on affair is cheating. Male mammals are not sexually monogamous. I don’t know why modern humans are still trying to make something is that just isn’t.

Every woman that I’ve dated, and I’m sure a majority of them out there, have had past boyfriends that have physically “cheated” with other women. Of all income levels. All religions. All races. Men are just built this way.

"Mammals" . We're not just animals.
We have a soul, conscience and (some of us) can control our urges.
So not cheating it's not impossible, it's just not for everyone.