knocked up a girl i've only known 3 months

[NoSaint]

Well guys, never trust a girl who says she cant get pregnant because they can.

This one I have been seeing I know wasn't lying. I've seen the medical papers etc from the dr's saying the only way she will ever be able to conceive is via in vitro(test tube). Anyway, she had endometriosis and something else. I would have never not wrapped it if I didn't think she could get pregnant. She was with her ex husband for 12 years and could never have a kid etc despite all their efforts. I figured it would be safe in this instance.
Well guess what. It wasn't. So here i am, 33 with a 2nd kid on the way. My first kid is 13 going on 14. Well, she wont abort due to her belief that this kid is a gift from god.

I'm not happy about this at all. Swore i'd never have another kid. I have no interest in having another kid all. As selfish as it is, its the way I feel. Its made me completely miserable. She wants me to have sex with her and I just cant do it. Hell, I can barely touch her without being sick to my stomach. I have nothing good to say so I've been quiet and moody. Anyway, to her its me treating her like **** etc and she decided yesterday she was leaving and going to her moms. She got mad because i asked her one more time to consider an abortion. Well, she wont abort due to her belief that this kid is a gift from god.

She told me that even though I'm not happy about this i need to try and just make her happy and not ruin this for her.

I'm ready to walk away for good. I'm not proud of it at all, but the alternative is my version of hell. I was just getting ready to end the relationship when she found out she was pregnant.

I hate to be a scumbag and walk away leaving another fatherless kid in the world, but i just don't want a kid.

I'm here because strangers opinions are sometimes the best and most honest.

What would you do.......


Oh, and for all you afc's out there who can't wait to break the barrier to getting girls etc....It really just tends to be a pain in the ass. Same flake, different body.....And wrap it no matter what

 

[Last Man Standing]

Are you Dj Joekerr?

Another hor baby in the world!! We need a war!!!

There is no advice - except Say "NO" to hos!!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well guys, never trust a girl who says she cant get pregnant because they can.

I ask for a notarized note from a physician that she's had her ovaries removed before I'd believe that line. Start learning about the child support laws in your state and get a lawyer.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Your stuck Chuck !!! If you walk away you will be the biggest shit ever and you won't be able to face yourself in the mirror. Even though she lied to you, YOU were the stupid one for not using protection. It was YOUR fault, NO ONE FORCED YOU to have unprotected sex. YOUR STUPIDITY brought another life into this world.

It sux that you already have a shitty attitude about the kid, which means you will probably abuse the poor soul and he or she will grow up to be a criminal because the idiot father(you), made a mistake and wasn't man enough to take responsibility.

Marriage and Kids SUCK HARD, but YOU made the choice to have sex RAW DOG because you ASSumed, instead of THINK, whats even worse is you are in your 30's you should have been smarter than that, DON'T FUCK up even more and not OWN up to your actions..the least you could do is raise a KICK ASS AWESOME KID and love it as much as you can.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

That's a tough one.

You seem like a decent guy. I have never been in your shoes, but my guess is that you're going to feel even worse if you don't at least help out from a financial perspective.

Can you work out a couple alternative plans with her? Tell her the truth, that you don't have any interest in raising the kid, but you're willing to help out financially? And if she won't accept that, on the logic that the child deserves 2 parents, then encourage her to work with you on finding adoptive parents?

 

[Last Man Standing]

How old is she? Late 20's, 30 something

 

[NoSaint]

How old is she? Late 20's, 30 something

She's 30....


She actually said its her decision and that this could be her only chance ever to have a kid and if i want to walk away she won't bother me. But then you know how that goes

 

[MikeEdward1973]

It sux that you already have a shitty attitude about the kid, which means you will probably abuse the poor soul and he or she will grow up to be a criminal because the idiot father(you), made a mistake and wasn't man enough to take responsibility.

I don't agree with this line of reasoning at all. What about not wanting to have another kid makes him an idiot? You're right, he made a mistake. Doesn't make him stupid or evil. My guess is that he probably had career or educational plans that suddenly got derailed by this event.

What if it was the women who didn't want the kid, and did decide to get an abortion? Would that make her an idiot?

 

[MikeEdward1973]

She's 30....


She actually said its her decision and that this could be her only chance ever to have a kid and if i want to walk away she won't bother me. But then you know how that goes

Actually, now that I re-read your post, I see where she is coming from.

 

[Drum&Bass]

then encourage her to work with you on finding adoptive parents?

dude if the mother wants the baby how the hell is anyone gonna convince her to give up the child to foster parents. Your 1st point was much better.

If the Mother KNEW before hand that you have no interest in having a kid...ALL you have to do is be there financially, you are NOT obligated to play daddy unless you feel like it.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Are you Dj Joekerr?

How rude!

 

[Drum&Bass]

What if it was the women who didn't want the kid, and did decide to get an abortion? Would that make her an idiot?

Of course it would !!! Having an abortion isn't like buying candy...its a shameful decision that shows poor judgment and character on her part.

I don't agree with this line of reasoning at all. What about not wanting to have another kid makes him an idiot?

nothing wrong with NOT wanting another kid..but having UNprotected sex because a woman tells you she can't get pregnant is asking for trouble !

You're right, he made a mistake. Doesn't make him stupid or evil.

He made a mistake and contemplating on walking away from it like it never happened. unfortunately the mistake wasn't a tiny "oops"...it was someones life. Now how does a MAN walk away from that, and try to pretend like it never happened ??

My guess is that he probably had career or educational plans that suddenly got derailed by this event.

Oh well...he's got no one else to blame but himself for screwing up his future plans.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

dude if the mother wants the baby how the hell is anyone gonna convince her to give up the child to foster parents. Your 1st point was much better.

The first time I read his post, I didn't realize that the mother didn't consider having 2 parents for the kid as a perquisite for brining the baby to term.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She's 30....


She actually said its her decision and that this could be her only chance ever to have a kid and if i want to walk away she won't bother me. But then you know how that goes

30? of course she wants a child - all women do - this is the natural order of things! You have no power now - a man's power is over the woman, but only if she is his wife!!

The "state" is the daddy now!!! You are on the bottom of the totem pole!!

 

[Bible_Belt]

What would you do.......

You can't fake your feelings for the woman. Even if it would be very convenient to have the hots for the woman you just knocked up, you can't make it happen.

You're stuck financially, though. Don't put yourself in a situation where the law can screw you over. Many states are now putting guys in jail for not paying support. So pay your money and get your weekend visits, you know the drill by now.

fwiw, most babies are not planned. None of my friends' kids were. I wasn't. Babies happen.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Of course it would !!! Having an abortion isn't like buying candy...its a shameful decision that shows poor judgment and character on her part.

I'm not going to hijack this into a pro-life/pro-choice thread, but there's an awful lot of women raising kids they can't and shouldn't be raising, and I don't blame women one damn bit for not bringing people into this world they're not able to support, either emotionally or financially. And it's absolutely ridiculous to assume that women that have abortions take the decision like buying candy.

He made a mistake and contemplating on walking away from it like it never happened. unfortunately the mistake wasn't a tiny "oops"...it was someones life. Now how does a MAN walk away from that, and try to pretend like it never happened ??

That's not the post I read. He's asking advice on what to do. Put yourself in his shoes. I don't have kids. Do you? If you do, you should know what he's going through. If you don't, then I'm not sure ripping on the guy cause he's devastated about the financial and ethical dilemma he's in makes any sense.

 

[lookyoung]

Man I feel for you man. I had a scary situation with a cvnt and I made a thread about it not too long ago. I have not heard from her so I think the cvnt was playing mind games.

If I were you I think you really need to talk her out of this. Say things like this.
1. Its not fair to the child or me if you have this kid.
2. I think we should get to know each other better. We can always have a kid in the future. Make sure you break up with her after the abortion.
3. If you cared about me you would not do this to me.
4. Go to her mom and cry about it and say your not ready to be a father.


You really need to pull off a miracle. But it can be done woman can be talked into anything. Good luck bro I feel for you.

 

[frivolousz21]

I am 25 year old dad.....

its pretty pathetic that you want to walk away when you decided to bust a nut and now you have a kid on the way.

pay child support and take care of the kids on ur weekends...I cant see how this is that big of a deal.

your a 30 something year old man..you sound like a selfish teenager talking about walking away.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Man I feel for you man. I had a scary situation with a cvnt and I made a thread about it not too long ago. I have not heard from her so I think the cvnt was playing mind games.

If I were you I think you really need to talk her out of this. Say things like this.
1. Its not fair to the child or me if you have this kid.
2. I think we should get to know each other better. We can always have a kid in the future. Make sure you break up with her after the abortion.
3. If you cared about me you would not do this to me.
4. Go to her mom and cry about it and say your not ready to be a father.


You really need to pull off a miracle. But it can be done woman can be talked into anything. Good luck bro I feel for you.

She's 30 and was told that she will never have kids!! All women want kids!! This is a blessing to her in her eyes -- she will be able to complete her feminine role in life - she will have the baby - words won't change her mind!!!

 

[lookyoung]

I am 25 year old dad.....

its pretty pathetic that you want to walk away when you decided to bust a nut and now you have a kid on the way.

pay child support and take care of the kids on ur weekends...I cant see how this is that big of a deal.

your a 30 something year old man..you sound like a selfish teenager talking about walking away.

So what he busted a nut in her pu$$y. Every guy has done this. Most of us don't suffer the consequences. Maybe he wanted to fvck her but he did not want a relationship with her. There are girls that I fvcked that I would not want to be attached to them in any type of way.

So if You were to fvck a prostitute and the jimmy broke and she got pregnant do you think its right for her to keep the baby? The answer is no.

A girl has to be a stupid cvnt to have a baby when the man that impregnated her does not want it. If its a LTR or marriage than I can side with the woman.