I see your point. What about the woman's responsibility in letting herself get pregnant with a man who she obviously knows doesn't love her and doesn't want to be with her? I'm not condoning "AFC" and provisioning male behavior, but women typically will choose to have nothing to do with a guy that is really into them and is too giving of his commitments to her, his money, etc. So how can a person automatically assume the woman should be entitled to support in her decision to get pregnant and have a baby? I know, some will say the man should at least financially support the child. But again, it goes back to the woman's choice of choosing to get pregnant with the wrong guy and probably rejecting the "right" ones along the way. It's hard to side with, "it's the man's responsibility to financial support the child" crowd. If women are going to be entitled to support in their decisions, where's there responsibilities?KontrollerX said:
knocked up a girl i've only known 3 months
- Thread starter NoSaint
- Start date
I hate to take her side on this, but seriously can you imagine not ever thinking you can have your own kid and suddenly having the chance to have one? Putting myself in her shoes, I'd be desperate to keep it as well.
Yes, this sucks for you. But there has to be some legal way for you to avoid responsibility for this kid. Some sort of document she can sign that waives her rights. I guarantee you she would sign it given the circumstances. Of course, if you keep acting like an ass about it she might she just decide to screw you over so you should probably try handling this in a way where BOTH OF YOU can be happy. This is not, necessarily, a win-lose scenario as you make it out to be.
Yes, this sucks for you. But there has to be some legal way for you to avoid responsibility for this kid. Some sort of document she can sign that waives her rights. I guarantee you she would sign it given the circumstances. Of course, if you keep acting like an ass about it she might she just decide to screw you over so you should probably try handling this in a way where BOTH OF YOU can be happy. This is not, necessarily, a win-lose scenario as you make it out to be.
ARrocket
Master Don Juan
Well there is nothing much you can do now...if I were in your shoes, I would try to be a part of the kids life as much as I could (while still leading my own life). If that means hanging out with them once a month, so be it.
drmeathead
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man even if he hangs out once a month and is on the spot with the support as soon as the child rearing hits a snag she will blame him for not being there 24/7. if he is there 24/7 and she loses attraction and interest in him, she will use the so-called womans peroggative to attempt catch a BBD if she feels like doing so.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
it always is appalling when someone knocks someone up, then blames her for the entire thing, taking no responsibility for their share in actions, walks away and leaves her holding the bag.. or baby rather... to be raised in a life that has no father.
what did this child do to deserve this?
perhaps your child will grow up to be someone like eminem that will make millions of dollars singing about how he wishes you would die because you left him too soon.
lots of people break up and can not remain a couple forever, however you do not have to run away from your child just because you are mad at yourself for getting her pregnant or her because she is pregnant.
what did this child do to deserve this?
perhaps your child will grow up to be someone like eminem that will make millions of dollars singing about how he wishes you would die because you left him too soon.
lots of people break up and can not remain a couple forever, however you do not have to run away from your child just because you are mad at yourself for getting her pregnant or her because she is pregnant.
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
KontrollerX
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Many men who don't stick around to raise a child with the mother are not "running away" they simply never wanted a child to begin with but the woman for whatever reason wants to keep it but then goes around blaming the man as being cowardly or immature for not sticking around to make it easier on her and her decision to keep it.
A woman like that needs to take some personal responsibility for her decision.
And no the child is not a bad kid in any way and deserves a loving home if a woman carries it all the way to birth.
If she thinks it would be better off with a father figure then she has a few options available to her.
She can either find a replacement mate as soon as possible ie a real AFC thats into raising other men's offspring that society will deem a "hero" and "a real man" for his AFCery or she can put it up for adoption where many couples who cannot have children of their own will be more than happy to adopt it since most people looking to adopt only want babies anyway.
So indeed there are plenty of options for women in this scenario that can help them not to ruin their life or their child's life but most women unfortunately in this situation would rather sit and complain and blame the man over their own decision to keep the child.
In closing a guy can only be labelled "immature" or a "coward" for leaving the woman if she gets pregnant if he upfront promised the woman he would be there for her if they had a child together because he wanted one too.
A woman like that needs to take some personal responsibility for her decision.
And no the child is not a bad kid in any way and deserves a loving home if a woman carries it all the way to birth.
If she thinks it would be better off with a father figure then she has a few options available to her.
She can either find a replacement mate as soon as possible ie a real AFC thats into raising other men's offspring that society will deem a "hero" and "a real man" for his AFCery or she can put it up for adoption where many couples who cannot have children of their own will be more than happy to adopt it since most people looking to adopt only want babies anyway.
So indeed there are plenty of options for women in this scenario that can help them not to ruin their life or their child's life but most women unfortunately in this situation would rather sit and complain and blame the man over their own decision to keep the child.
In closing a guy can only be labelled "immature" or a "coward" for leaving the woman if she gets pregnant if he upfront promised the woman he would be there for her if they had a child together because he wanted one too.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
whether either of them wanted a child or not, now there is one coming.
neither of them can take it back now.
instead of dwelling on who should have done what, BOTH of their responsibilities are now to this child, and either of them who walk away from said child is immature and irresponsible.
this child did not ask to be brought into this world.
if he did not want a child so badly, why was he out there making one without a condom?
if she did not want a child so badly, why was she out there making one without birth control?
it doesn't matter now, because it is done.
the question now is "what will become of this child"?
it would be just as selfish for him to walk away from the child as it would be for her to say that he can not see this child. both are quick fixes, but take it from me, do not solve the matter.
neither of them can take it back now.
instead of dwelling on who should have done what, BOTH of their responsibilities are now to this child, and either of them who walk away from said child is immature and irresponsible.
this child did not ask to be brought into this world.
if he did not want a child so badly, why was he out there making one without a condom?
if she did not want a child so badly, why was she out there making one without birth control?
it doesn't matter now, because it is done.
the question now is "what will become of this child"?
it would be just as selfish for him to walk away from the child as it would be for her to say that he can not see this child. both are quick fixes, but take it from me, do not solve the matter.
Drum&Bass
Master Don Juan
yo Kontroller X are you retarded, I'll say it again for you and everyone else who thinks like you..
Choosing to have sex with another person is CHOOSING TO ACCEPT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT GO ALONG WITH IT !
Including kids, STI's, Emotional Damage, Physical Damage, etc, etc
Its like speeding in your car..No one wants to get in an accident but sometimes you get the urge to speed so you do. Now lets say you hit somebody...You didn't want to hit anyone but you did...so what do you do ??
p.s. Is it just me or is this becoming redundant ?
Choosing to have sex with another person is CHOOSING TO ACCEPT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT GO ALONG WITH IT !
Including kids, STI's, Emotional Damage, Physical Damage, etc, etc
Its like speeding in your car..No one wants to get in an accident but sometimes you get the urge to speed so you do. Now lets say you hit somebody...You didn't want to hit anyone but you did...so what do you do ??
p.s. Is it just me or is this becoming redundant ?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
No, the general shirking of responsibility isn't a seemingly redundant phase, it's pretty much the norm.Drum&Bass said:
KontrollerX
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"whether either of them wanted a child or not, now there is one coming.
neither of them can take it back now."
No the woman can take it back by having an abortion.
The woman has more choices all around then the male concerning all of this and it is not at all right or fair.
The woman can abort the man's child if she so chooses even if he does want it.
Does that sound like justice to you?
Regardless though the point is women have more choices all around concerning this stuff and it does not put a man on a level playing field with her and so it invites resentment and understandable dirty tactics.
"instead of dwelling on who should have done what, BOTH of their responsibilities are now to this child, and either of them who walk away from said child is immature and irresponsible."
No, both of their responsibilities should be about making a decision concerning this child.
A man who does not want that child should be able to say he does not want it and move on with his life no strings attached as should a woman who doesn't want it which is why there are a wide variety of options such as abortion, adoption, a woman simply finding a new daddy for her child etc.
The court should bring the man or whichever of them doesn't want the child and ask...
Judge: What is your decision concerning the child.
Man: I want nothing to do with the raising of this child. I wave all rights to this child. I did indeed make the decision to have sex with this woman but it does not also mean that I made the decision to have a child with her. I made it expressly clear to her upfront that I did not want children to come of this relationship and she agreed but after getting pregnant she has since gone back on her word and tried to trap me into paying her for 18 years for it and her both outcomes I find highly undesireable as I do not want to be either a father or be involved in any way shape or form with this woman for the next 18 years of my life.
Judge: From your perspective since we have to ask what would you have be done with the child?
Man: Since the mother has decided to move forward with the pregnancy and keep the child I believe she should be allowed to raise it in whatever manner she deems fit.
Judge: And if she decides she doesn't want to raise the child anymore?
Man: I fully endorse the state putting the child up for adoption into a loving home of whatever type the state deems acceptable or whatever legal method the mother decides in order to turn over care to someone else. Once again I wave all rights to the child.
Judge: Very well.
And that really should be it.
A man or woman should both have this choice but currently the woman holds all the cards and that is not at all justice.
"yo Kontroller X are you retarded, I'll say it again for you and everyone else who thinks like you.."
Yo drumbandbass are you a fvckin dumbass?
Seriously learn to talk with respect towards people before you open your mouth or in this case type on your keyboard.
Especially people that have never insulted you before.
"Choosing to have sex with another person is CHOOSING TO ACCEPT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT GO ALONG WITH IT !
Including kids, STI's, Emotional Damage, Physical Damage, etc, etc
Its like speeding in your car..No one wants to get in an accident but sometimes you get the urge to speed so you do. Now lets say you hit somebody...You didn't want to hit anyone but you did...so what do you do ??
p.s. Is it just me or is this becoming redundant ?"
The responsibility should extend only so far as making a decision concerning what you want to happen regarding the child.
If the woman won't abort you aren't suddenly going to want to be a daddy to the child if you are a man that doesn't want to be a father so your responsibility should then be telling the court your position on things such as you wanting the child to go up for adoption if she wouldn't abort and you waving all rights to it so that the mother can do what she wants.
A man should have the same amount of choice over a child as the woman does before he can ever be hung out to dry by the holier than thous for "not taking responsibility".
And yes this conversation is redundant because one side ie your side is trying to force your morality down the other side's throat while my side simply wants to see equal justice and fairness enforced surrounding this issue.
neither of them can take it back now."
No the woman can take it back by having an abortion.
The woman has more choices all around then the male concerning all of this and it is not at all right or fair.
The woman can abort the man's child if she so chooses even if he does want it.
Does that sound like justice to you?
Regardless though the point is women have more choices all around concerning this stuff and it does not put a man on a level playing field with her and so it invites resentment and understandable dirty tactics.
"instead of dwelling on who should have done what, BOTH of their responsibilities are now to this child, and either of them who walk away from said child is immature and irresponsible."
No, both of their responsibilities should be about making a decision concerning this child.
A man who does not want that child should be able to say he does not want it and move on with his life no strings attached as should a woman who doesn't want it which is why there are a wide variety of options such as abortion, adoption, a woman simply finding a new daddy for her child etc.
The court should bring the man or whichever of them doesn't want the child and ask...
Judge: What is your decision concerning the child.
Man: I want nothing to do with the raising of this child. I wave all rights to this child. I did indeed make the decision to have sex with this woman but it does not also mean that I made the decision to have a child with her. I made it expressly clear to her upfront that I did not want children to come of this relationship and she agreed but after getting pregnant she has since gone back on her word and tried to trap me into paying her for 18 years for it and her both outcomes I find highly undesireable as I do not want to be either a father or be involved in any way shape or form with this woman for the next 18 years of my life.
Judge: From your perspective since we have to ask what would you have be done with the child?
Man: Since the mother has decided to move forward with the pregnancy and keep the child I believe she should be allowed to raise it in whatever manner she deems fit.
Judge: And if she decides she doesn't want to raise the child anymore?
Man: I fully endorse the state putting the child up for adoption into a loving home of whatever type the state deems acceptable or whatever legal method the mother decides in order to turn over care to someone else. Once again I wave all rights to the child.
Judge: Very well.
And that really should be it.
A man or woman should both have this choice but currently the woman holds all the cards and that is not at all justice.
"yo Kontroller X are you retarded, I'll say it again for you and everyone else who thinks like you.."
Yo drumbandbass are you a fvckin dumbass?
Seriously learn to talk with respect towards people before you open your mouth or in this case type on your keyboard.
Especially people that have never insulted you before.
"Choosing to have sex with another person is CHOOSING TO ACCEPT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT GO ALONG WITH IT !
Including kids, STI's, Emotional Damage, Physical Damage, etc, etc
Its like speeding in your car..No one wants to get in an accident but sometimes you get the urge to speed so you do. Now lets say you hit somebody...You didn't want to hit anyone but you did...so what do you do ??
p.s. Is it just me or is this becoming redundant ?"
The responsibility should extend only so far as making a decision concerning what you want to happen regarding the child.
If the woman won't abort you aren't suddenly going to want to be a daddy to the child if you are a man that doesn't want to be a father so your responsibility should then be telling the court your position on things such as you wanting the child to go up for adoption if she wouldn't abort and you waving all rights to it so that the mother can do what she wants.
A man should have the same amount of choice over a child as the woman does before he can ever be hung out to dry by the holier than thous for "not taking responsibility".
And yes this conversation is redundant because one side ie your side is trying to force your morality down the other side's throat while my side simply wants to see equal justice and fairness enforced surrounding this issue.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
KontrollerX, in a fair world, we could all just go around doing as we please, and some people do, making others pay for their mistakes.
i personally, would tell him to hit the f'ing road if he did not want to be near his child and would raise that child without him. however, what i would personally do, and what this woman will do, may be two completely different things. even as i would raise that child myself, that child would grow and one day want more than anything to meet the father anyways.
so here is what it boils down to:
there is a couple who just made a baby, since you say it is fair for him to walk away, will you be supporting this said child? before you answer, think of your tax dollars.
judges no longer just let a man sign his rights over on a whim that he does not want his child. they now demand that the mother be remarried and the step father adopt to take over the financial responsibilites these days.
fair or not, he helped to make a child and he will most likely have to support it. if you are going to be supporting a child, don't you want a relationship with with that child?
i personally, would tell him to hit the f'ing road if he did not want to be near his child and would raise that child without him. however, what i would personally do, and what this woman will do, may be two completely different things. even as i would raise that child myself, that child would grow and one day want more than anything to meet the father anyways.
so here is what it boils down to:
there is a couple who just made a baby, since you say it is fair for him to walk away, will you be supporting this said child? before you answer, think of your tax dollars.
judges no longer just let a man sign his rights over on a whim that he does not want his child. they now demand that the mother be remarried and the step father adopt to take over the financial responsibilites these days.
fair or not, he helped to make a child and he will most likely have to support it. if you are going to be supporting a child, don't you want a relationship with with that child?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Didn't somebody already mention vasectomies? If a guy doesn't want children why doesn't he just nip it in the bud at the source? Oh wait, that would mean abstinence! :nervous:
Emotion_sponge
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I think drumbass and a few others are probably the only ethical guys on here. Stop thinking about you're own damn life, and think about the life you just made. To even consider abortion on a issue like this is just morally wrong. Abortion is there if it's something over a father raping her daughter or the like. But no, you and her had unprotected sex, a mutual agreement.
MikeEdwards, i've never been in this guys shoes before, but try being the one in the fatherless child's shoes. Every child needs a father AND mother figure in their life. If you leave, you're going to ruin the life YOU created, for the life YOU ****ed up. You need to sacrifice, it's what men do. We have to sacrifice everyday, and i know yours is one of the biggest of all, but the benefits are so great. And sacrificing your life to ensure another's, is the biggest sacrifice of all.
MikeEdwards, i've never been in this guys shoes before, but try being the one in the fatherless child's shoes. Every child needs a father AND mother figure in their life. If you leave, you're going to ruin the life YOU created, for the life YOU ****ed up. You need to sacrifice, it's what men do. We have to sacrifice everyday, and i know yours is one of the biggest of all, but the benefits are so great. And sacrificing your life to ensure another's, is the biggest sacrifice of all.
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Drum&Bass
Master Don Juan
I see flaw in your thinking ! If a man is NOT willing to take care of a child or DOES NOT want a child. He either takes precautions like a vasectomy or uses condoms.KontrollerX said:
He DOES NOT put himself in a position to decide whether or not a woman should subject HER BODY to an abortion.
What you FAIL to keep recognizing is IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS, DON'T HAVE THEM !!! Condoms and vasectomies seem to work great for everyone else in the world !!
As in the case of the OP, he was stupid...he screwed himself up and is asking for approval AFTER HE FOOLISHLY THREW AWAY HIS OPTIONS !! Once you decide to pull the trigger theres no way to make the bullet come back..so use the power of choice wisely and don't pull the trigger !!
what is the best way to NOT get burned by FIRE !
DON'T TOUCH IT !!
Last time I checked men didn't have to walk around for 9 months with another life inside of them...nor go through the pains of labor..Are you upset and ready to cry that men don't have an equal say in a babies life..maybe when you are able to go into labor and have babies I'm sure things will be equal enough for your liking.KontrollerX said:
excellent point Emotion !! Abortion isn't something that should be practiced recklessly and carefree !! it is a last resort for EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES !!Emotion_sponge said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Psssttt... That would mean that he would need to act accountable for his actions before taking the action. Way too much work for some, it's easier to hit and run; leave your accountability at the door.Drum&Bass said:
Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Emotion_sponge
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I'm not asking the op to keep the relationship to the mother. I'm asking him to be in this child's life as much as he can. What has this child done to deserve such a horrid life like living without his/her father.
Kontroller, you're suggestion is appalling, really. You suggested that this guy QUIT his job, work on MINIMUM wage so that he can make the MOTHER'S life hard as hell, as well with the child's. That's great. This guy will live on minimum wage, in a shabby home, and without the luxuries of life. Not only that, but he will have the weight of regret on his shoulders. yup, sounds like the dream life to me. Not only that, but the mother will be barely supporting her child. This **** happens in the ****ing ghetto, and it's heart-breaking.
And don't call people afc's just because they are expressing their opinion in this very serious matter. This very WEBSITE is about being a MAN and going about life the BEST you can. A MAN is a guy who accepts his responsibilities, and does NOT run away from them. He takes them head on, because he is a MAN. They stare at life's test straight in the eye, because he is a man. And above all else, a MAN is supposed to be a father.
I pray that this child does NOT receive the consequences for they're parent's mistake.
Kontroller, you're suggestion is appalling, really. You suggested that this guy QUIT his job, work on MINIMUM wage so that he can make the MOTHER'S life hard as hell, as well with the child's. That's great. This guy will live on minimum wage, in a shabby home, and without the luxuries of life. Not only that, but he will have the weight of regret on his shoulders. yup, sounds like the dream life to me. Not only that, but the mother will be barely supporting her child. This **** happens in the ****ing ghetto, and it's heart-breaking.
And don't call people afc's just because they are expressing their opinion in this very serious matter. This very WEBSITE is about being a MAN and going about life the BEST you can. A MAN is a guy who accepts his responsibilities, and does NOT run away from them. He takes them head on, because he is a MAN. They stare at life's test straight in the eye, because he is a man. And above all else, a MAN is supposed to be a father.
I pray that this child does NOT receive the consequences for they're parent's mistake.
drmeathead
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while i dont agree that abortions should be performed just becuase...i do find it very unfair, as i stated earlier, that if a woman wants to terminate a pregancy even though the father wants the child, it happens no questions asked. however if the woman wants to have the child then she has it no questions asked. how is this fair? since it is argeed that raising the child is a mutal responsibility, how is fair that only one side gets all the power? dont give me this it is their bodies **** either...find a different logical reason please.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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"Didn't somebody already mention vasectomies?"
Vasectomies and condoms and all that isn't always 100% effective.
No disrespect intended as you've been respectful of me in this thread fransisco but if a guy had a vasectomy or wore a condom and still got a chick pregnant your side would still be crying "THE MAN BETTER TAKE HIS RESPONSBILITIES!1111!!!!"
Even though he MORE clearly in the instance of vasectomy and condom usage been sending a message that he did not want to be a father and was taking responsibility towards that end by getting the vasectomy or wearing a condom.
"I'm not asking the op to keep the relationship to the mother. I'm asking him to be in this child's life as much as he can. What has this child done to deserve such a horrid life like living without his/her father."
Give the child up for adoption to a loving family and he or she will never miss out on a full functioning family or the love and care that a growing child needs.
"Kontroller, you're suggestion is appalling, really. You suggested that this guy QUIT his job, work on MINIMUM wage so that he can make the MOTHER'S life hard as hell, as well with the child's."
My suggestion is no more appalling than a woman working to get pregnant in order to rob a man blind for 18 years. Not every woman out there is a good woman like Penkitten. Some want to get pregnant and lie to a man that they don't want any babies but once they get pregnant they get what they want and rob a man blind with the law's full blessing. Your suggestion that a man should stand by and take it is whats truly sickening. Make this type of woman's life hard as hell I say. Make it every bit as painful and unpleasant as she has made your life by trapping you and tricking you and forcing something on you that you want no part of.
When she takes you to court to force you to pay quit your job and go work at Mcdonalds and see how she likes syphoning off of that salary.
"That's great. This guy will live on minimum wage, in a shabby home, and without the luxuries of life. Not only that, but he will have the weight of regret on his shoulders. yup, sounds like the dream life to me. Not only that, but the mother will be barely supporting her child. This **** happens in the ****ing ghetto, and it's heart-breaking."
Yeah thats too bad. Maybe the woman should find a nice daycare for the child then you know...GET A FVCKING JOB!!!
Whatever happend to the feminists great dream of "Independent women?"
You and many posters attitudes in here are insulting towards women suggesting that they NEED men in order to take care of themselves and their own child that they DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES to keep.
We all have to make hard choices in life at times and if a woman is not financially able to care for the child that she wants to keep and the biological father has washed his hands of the situation then she needs to see if someone else in her family will take the child on or help her out with the bills and if that fails there's an adoption agency waiting with loving arm's for her child. There are plenty of choices for women to make to get out of having a hard life when a pregnancy occurs. Some of them take the easy road and some of them in dire financial straits take the hard road but they all have a choice so really the tears need to stop. They have many many choices. Many more than men.
As for a shabby home on minimum wage lol you've got to be kidding me. If a guy had a great job and house before something like this happened he can scale back a lot of his expenses and focus on paying utility bills and ration the minimum wage salary he is making to add more to his savings. He can live in a great house and frustrate the woman who is trying to rob him until she leaves him alone or tolerates living off of half a Mcdonald's salary until she decides to "Woman up" and get a job of her own.
"And don't call people afc's just because they are expressing their opinion in this very serious matter. This very WEBSITE is about being a MAN and going about life the BEST you can. A MAN is a guy who accepts his responsibilities, and does NOT run away from them. He takes them head on, because he is a MAN. They stare at life's test straight in the eye, because he is a man. And above all else, a MAN is supposed to be a father."
As a man your responsibility is to yourself and what is important to you.
If you do not wish to be a father and a woman tricks you into being one by saying she's on the pill when she's not or hopes that by secretly getting pregnant you will stay with her or any other shady reason it is your responsibility to yourself to make the right decision for you and not be robbed blind and tricked into a horrible situation for 18 years by her because society tells you this is the right thing to do and what "stepping up to the plate" is all about.
"while i dont agree that abortions should be performed just becuase...i do find it very unfair, as i stated earlier, that if a woman wants to terminate a pregancy even though the father wants the child, it happens no questions asked. however if the woman wants to have the child then she has it no questions asked. how is this fair? since it is argeed that raising the child is a mutal responsibility, how is fair that only one side gets all the power? dont give me this it is their bodies **** either...find a different logical reason please."
Exactly.
If a man is to take responsibility for a child he wants or doesn't want he should have equal rights that its mother has.
If a man wants to take care of his child and a woman wants to abort it a court should force her to carry it to term (so long as it doesn't put her life in danger to have by a pregnancy complication) and then give the child to the man and the woman should be allowed to wave all her rights to the child.
If the child is equally theirs then this is the only proper way to do things but nope now they let the woman kill the child as she sees fit because the woman is given far too many rights concerning children that men do not get.
Equality is what is needed.
Vasectomies and condoms and all that isn't always 100% effective.
No disrespect intended as you've been respectful of me in this thread fransisco but if a guy had a vasectomy or wore a condom and still got a chick pregnant your side would still be crying "THE MAN BETTER TAKE HIS RESPONSBILITIES!1111!!!!"
Even though he MORE clearly in the instance of vasectomy and condom usage been sending a message that he did not want to be a father and was taking responsibility towards that end by getting the vasectomy or wearing a condom.
"I'm not asking the op to keep the relationship to the mother. I'm asking him to be in this child's life as much as he can. What has this child done to deserve such a horrid life like living without his/her father."
Give the child up for adoption to a loving family and he or she will never miss out on a full functioning family or the love and care that a growing child needs.
"Kontroller, you're suggestion is appalling, really. You suggested that this guy QUIT his job, work on MINIMUM wage so that he can make the MOTHER'S life hard as hell, as well with the child's."
My suggestion is no more appalling than a woman working to get pregnant in order to rob a man blind for 18 years. Not every woman out there is a good woman like Penkitten. Some want to get pregnant and lie to a man that they don't want any babies but once they get pregnant they get what they want and rob a man blind with the law's full blessing. Your suggestion that a man should stand by and take it is whats truly sickening. Make this type of woman's life hard as hell I say. Make it every bit as painful and unpleasant as she has made your life by trapping you and tricking you and forcing something on you that you want no part of.
When she takes you to court to force you to pay quit your job and go work at Mcdonalds and see how she likes syphoning off of that salary.
"That's great. This guy will live on minimum wage, in a shabby home, and without the luxuries of life. Not only that, but he will have the weight of regret on his shoulders. yup, sounds like the dream life to me. Not only that, but the mother will be barely supporting her child. This **** happens in the ****ing ghetto, and it's heart-breaking."
Yeah thats too bad. Maybe the woman should find a nice daycare for the child then you know...GET A FVCKING JOB!!!
Whatever happend to the feminists great dream of "Independent women?"
You and many posters attitudes in here are insulting towards women suggesting that they NEED men in order to take care of themselves and their own child that they DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES to keep.
We all have to make hard choices in life at times and if a woman is not financially able to care for the child that she wants to keep and the biological father has washed his hands of the situation then she needs to see if someone else in her family will take the child on or help her out with the bills and if that fails there's an adoption agency waiting with loving arm's for her child. There are plenty of choices for women to make to get out of having a hard life when a pregnancy occurs. Some of them take the easy road and some of them in dire financial straits take the hard road but they all have a choice so really the tears need to stop. They have many many choices. Many more than men.
As for a shabby home on minimum wage lol you've got to be kidding me. If a guy had a great job and house before something like this happened he can scale back a lot of his expenses and focus on paying utility bills and ration the minimum wage salary he is making to add more to his savings. He can live in a great house and frustrate the woman who is trying to rob him until she leaves him alone or tolerates living off of half a Mcdonald's salary until she decides to "Woman up" and get a job of her own.
"And don't call people afc's just because they are expressing their opinion in this very serious matter. This very WEBSITE is about being a MAN and going about life the BEST you can. A MAN is a guy who accepts his responsibilities, and does NOT run away from them. He takes them head on, because he is a MAN. They stare at life's test straight in the eye, because he is a man. And above all else, a MAN is supposed to be a father."
As a man your responsibility is to yourself and what is important to you.
If you do not wish to be a father and a woman tricks you into being one by saying she's on the pill when she's not or hopes that by secretly getting pregnant you will stay with her or any other shady reason it is your responsibility to yourself to make the right decision for you and not be robbed blind and tricked into a horrible situation for 18 years by her because society tells you this is the right thing to do and what "stepping up to the plate" is all about.
"while i dont agree that abortions should be performed just becuase...i do find it very unfair, as i stated earlier, that if a woman wants to terminate a pregancy even though the father wants the child, it happens no questions asked. however if the woman wants to have the child then she has it no questions asked. how is this fair? since it is argeed that raising the child is a mutal responsibility, how is fair that only one side gets all the power? dont give me this it is their bodies **** either...find a different logical reason please."
Exactly.
If a man is to take responsibility for a child he wants or doesn't want he should have equal rights that its mother has.
If a man wants to take care of his child and a woman wants to abort it a court should force her to carry it to term (so long as it doesn't put her life in danger to have by a pregnancy complication) and then give the child to the man and the woman should be allowed to wave all her rights to the child.
If the child is equally theirs then this is the only proper way to do things but nope now they let the woman kill the child as she sees fit because the woman is given far too many rights concerning children that men do not get.
Equality is what is needed.
Emotion_sponge
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2007
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- 26
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Kontroller, although it didn't sound like it, i respect your's and everyone else's opinion in here, and apologize if i offended yours. And adoption is a rather good choice in this situation if the op does not wish to be part of this child's life. But i do believe that the woman didn't lie when she stated that she was not fertile. I mean, the guy saw medical papers evidence. And if this is the only chance of her getting a child, of course she would not want to have abortion. And chances are, she wants to raise it herself if theres a chance. I think the mother WOULD be able to raise a child by herself, they are really capable of doing so, but a father figure is really crucial in a child's development. The mother could marry a man who would love her, and the child at the same time.
Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.