Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[izza]

I basically told her off hoping to at least get a truthful answer about what turned her off about me when we met


It would be nice if it worked that way, but it doesn't. You can't be too hard on the girl for not explaining her feelings, because even she does not understand her own feelings. She feels how she feels; it is what it is. A woman's emotions are like the weather - changing, unpredictable, and maybe partially explainable, but it is a waste of time trying to understand them, or apply reason and logic. Once again, it would be great if the girl would just rattle off a tangible trait that you could change - your breath stinks, or you have eye boogers, whatever, but the girl probably doesn't even know exactly what she did not like about you, and even if she did, she's not going to tell you. She's only going to try to give you the answer that she thinks hurts your feelings the least - thus, the cliche'd 'it's not you it's me' line. Asking a girl what she didn't like about you is a waste of time; women will always choose the polite way out over brutal honesty.

Sometimes people just don't click; it's no big deal. There are plenty of other girls. And I agree with Izza, relax more and try to have fun.

Right - that's a great point. Women's emotions are so fluctuating - if the reason she's saying no now has anything to do with you now, which probably isn't the case, that may change in about an hour.

Juggler's motto has always been: "don't change her mind, change her mood." Jayer, it seems to me that you are very focused on changing her mind and you completely ignore her mood. The latter is really the only thing that matters - that goes for men and women.

And to support the excellent point BB was bringing up earlier - we men sometimes have a hard time understanding the sine wave thing. Our emotional states are so much more fixed, and normally if we don't like something today, we will probably not like it tomorrow. Women are far more emotionally complex - so who knows.

Another great point that BB brought up is that attraction is kind of a mystery. Asking her "why aren't you attracted to me" is asking her to solve a mystery of life on the phone. How would you react if a chick called you up and said "what's the meaning of life" or "why do men like boobs."

There is no answer, it just is that way. And moreover, the answer is irrelevant. If you change her mood, the no turns into yes.

Izza

 

[Reyaj]

Izza

I like your chess player analogy.... I too play and am really an analytical person by nature.... and I guess the message I am being taught here by you and BB is that women cannot be analyzed? I think I agree with this.... but here's why I'm so fixated on what happend with this girl...

See I had her IL up.... as I said she responded to my messages and phone calls even though some took lengthy time.... but right after we met up again in her friend's apartment she did not responded as much or as frequent..... now this only logically tells me something about me turned her off when I met her again right????


Regarding my c&f... I definitely have tried to tone it down so its not really insulting... its more like teasing which I think has been ok for the most part...

I do have negative beliefs on dating... there's no doubt about it... but honestly its because of everything I've encountered through this journey so far.... I mean I have girls flaking out initially, flaking after I meet them....., flaking after I kiss them, even a girl I went out with 3 times and made out with each of those times flaked out of nowhere..... all this stuff hits my morale man...... It makes it hard to be hopeful at times i have to admit it.

I guess when I look at the big picture maybe I am being greedy.... cause I did start this thread to be able to approach women and now I am able to do that..... I just want more now..... it's like watching porn and having your hands tied up so you can't wack it lol.... (maybe not the best analogy sorry)

BB

I am finding you are right about this. The girl never states the reason even if I goad her.... but again in this last case I had her IL signs there before I met up with her again... and then after that they diminished.... so I can't help but feel logically something turned her off about me and I wish i knew what it was....

When she did seem like she flaked I did get a reaction out of her with a c&f text... I texted her a day after she didn't respond to my email (which she used to do frequently)

"so I guess you didn't like my shirt lol"

She responded back fast "lol sorry was out of the office yesterday"

and then I took it from there but she basically didn't respond when I said I would call her later etc... like she used to....

blah whatever


Regarding what's going on presently.... that girl I met on the train responded to my text a day later which was yesterday... this seems to be her normal pattern now.... I called she didn't answer but I followed up with a text that read "hey tried calling before, i hope we are still on for tomorrow "

Well she called me back and said that tomorrow (which is today) is good and she would text me the address of the place we are going to meet for a drink..... I haven't received it yet.... but I may have a date tonight.....

Lets see what rant I post next lol...

 

[izza]

Izza

I like your chess player analogy.... I too play and am really an analytical person by nature.... and I guess the message I am being taught here by you and BB is that women cannot be analyzed? I think I agree with this.... but here's why I'm so fixated on what happend with this girl...

Jayer - women can be analyzed and understood. The problem is that you know so little about her life and what's going on. You are guessing based on next to no information.

And, it seems to me, due to a tendency to blame yourself rather than any other factor, most of the time, you are probably guessing wrong.

See I had her IL up.... as I said she responded to my messages and phone calls even though some took lengthy time.... but right after we met up again in her friend's apartment she did not responded as much or as frequent..... now this only logically tells me something about me turned her off when I met her again right????

Wrong. That is exactly the point we are trying with rubber hammer to pound into your brain.

So just as an exercise, what are three things that have little to nothing to do with you that might have caused the change in her behavior? You can do this...

Regarding my c&f... I definitely have tried to tone it down so its not really insulting... its more like teasing which I think has been ok for the most part...

Great!

I do have negative beliefs on dating... there's no doubt about it... but honestly its because of everything I've encountered through this journey so far....

I think it takes a pretty solid frame of mind to find positive things out of dating. Until then, yeah, I believe you're just going to reinforce negative beliefs.

I mean I have girls flaking out initially, flaking after I meet them....., flaking after I kiss them, even a girl I went out with 3 times and made out with each of those times flaked out of nowhere..... all this stuff hits my morale man...... It makes it hard to be hopeful at times i have to admit it.

I hear that. It takes a lot of optimism and belief in yourself. You don't see anybody playing catcher without a good mitt and a helmet and knee pads. Yeah, playing catcher can be a lot of fun, but you have to come prepared or else you're going to get a fastball in the forehead. Don't expect to find the equipment sitting out there on the playing field, those are the things you need to bring to the game to enjoy it and reduce the risk to yourself.

That's what confidence, optimism, building a support structure with family and friends and your friendly internet pals (yo ) is all about. Baseball is a lot of fun, but not if you don't wear a cup!

That support structure is what keeps you optimistic - helps you remember all the great qualities you have, even if 90% of women don't get it.

I guess when I look at the big picture maybe I am being greedy.... cause I did start this thread to be able to approach women and now I am able to do that..... I just want more now..... it's like watching porn and having your hands tied up so you can't wack it lol.... (maybe not the best analogy sorry)

*shakes head at metaphor, but agrees that would be painful*

Anyway, that's not greedy - it just means you're not finding what you're looking for. Like I said, it sounds like you're looking for each conversation, each kiss, each bone, to be more than what it is - to do more than it can for you.

"so I guess you didn't like my shirt lol"

Hmm - not bad. I always ask them if I'm the coolest chess player they know lol.

Are you doing these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvhnjJONQDA

Fo Shizza

 

[Reyaj]

so he says to say "thats sexy" when she reveals something about herself.... sounds good.

What does SOI mean?

 

[izza]

Statement of interest - uhhhh... yeah, I guess it's not that simple. But the key is to be honest what you find attractive in the women you're approaching. That way, they know your intentions, they know why you feel the way you do, they feel appreciated for who they really are. That's good stuff.

It goes beyond a technique man, it's just being honest with women about it.

The other key - is to get them to say stuff like that back to you. That's even more important than you saying stuff like that to them. Once you have them stating their interest in you, you will reduce your flaking by a whole lot.

Also, not many guys are that honest. You'll stand out, it's good.

 

[izza]

so he says to say "thats sexy" when she reveals something about herself.... sounds good.

What does SOI mean?

Maybe search youtube for juggler wayne elise. He's got a number of videos up.

 

[Reyaj]

Alright so I had my date with the girl I picked up on the train yesterday.....

We met up at a fancy bar to get drinks which was close to her (since she doesn't drive).... I was about 15 minutes late in cause I couldn't find parking.... I called her to ler know this but she jokingly teased me about it a few times... so I think she was partly bothered by it...

So I saw her sitting on this coach near the bar in which I approached her kissed her on the cheek and then walked to the bar with her to order a drink. I asked her what she wanted and she told the bartender and was reaching into her purse to pay for it and I told her don't worry I got it. She asked if I was sure and I said it was the least I could do for being late... she laughed and said yeah thats true.... so whatever went over to the coach and said we could go anywhere but I figured the coach made for the best logistics as it was a little isolated from the bar (not much though) and more comfortable that the stools.

So we sat down.. she sat basically on the left corner close to the arm rest... and I sat next to her... she basically talked about different things... told me stories of how she drinks a lot (typical of the girls I've been meeting) and another story of how she fell asleep on the train at 4am one time and missed her stop 5 times. The conductor had to wake her up and somehow made it home...... She asked me certating things and I tried my best to entertain but tried to keep it focused on her. I tried to kino to by touching her arm at times when I talked to her or putting my hand on her shoulder.... she didn't figit or anything... but she didn't kino me back either and she kept leaned away from me...... so I basically felt these were negative IOI's

Well finally I finished my drink and I asked her if she wanted another one... she paused for a second... and then said sure. She asked me if I needed money but I insisted I that I got it (yeah call me an AFC go ahead!) so anyway I brought back the drinks to the coach and this time I sat closer to her and tried to talk in her ear more and tried more kino by rubbing her back in a playful manner after she told me something and I also stretched my arm behind her on the coach (though not around her touchinng) and relaxed more..... so she basically talked some more but didn't kino me or show any IOI's that i'm used to seeing.... plus she played with her phone a little bit texting one of her friends. This is funny cause she took about a day to respond to my texts but she texted her friends more frequently...... just shows that these girls play games... but anyway..... finally she looks at her phone and is like "what time is it" so I jokingly say "what is it past your bed time" She's like no but I have to work early tomorrow so I have to go soon.... I'm like that's cool do you want to head out now... and she's like "I'm going to finish my drink first lol"... So whatever... we finally finish it and then she's like "I'm going to be going soon" so I'm like "come on lets go now" So we get up and leave... I ask her if she wants me to walk her back to her apartment which is nearby and she says "no its ok I do this walk all the time I'll be fine" I said "ok im just asking cause its late and this isn't the greatest neighborhood" She said "thanks for that thats nice but I'll be fine" So she says thanks and bye and I just go in and hug her and kiss her on the cheek... I then walk away and she says "thanks" and I tell her I'll talk to her soon to which she responds "yeah and nods her head"


LOL

Ok so accoring to Mystery's philosophy and the universal one of this board this girl has low IL..... based on all those little things right?


I'll follow up with her for the hell of it.... maybe on Sunday........

but whatever how could I even care after all that's happend to me...... I just can't take any of it seriously

 

[daygameguy]

i see where this is going.. straight to LJBF zone.

After the pickup you have to build trust/comfort + connection + intimacy. In your case, the first 2 are done, the last one "intimacy" however, is still not accomplished. Unless you DO that, you will be stuck in the dating loop, or be LJBF'ed.

Solution - Raise intimate kino.

If she accepts it, like a lip kiss or neck bite or whatever, then its on.. Else you need to show disinterest, show a willingness to leave her.. make her come after you.. But that is like recovering from failure which can be brutal.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sometimes people just don't click, no big deal. I would mostly forget about her, maybe a text on Sunday that you saw a passed out chick on a train and you wondered if it was her, but I would not even ask her out again. Just drift apart and don't date again. And for the love of God don't get pissy with her about not liking you. Just don't call again. Then, especially since she drinks, I would give it a 10% chance that you get a drunk and lonely text late one night, or run into her drunk at a bar and take her home for a ONS if you want. You are probably thinking that those odds suck and you would have more fun telling her off; I don't disagree, but if you ended it like this with ten girls, you would more than likely get laid out of it at least once while you find a girl who likes you more.

 

[izza]

Alright so I had my date with the girl I picked up on the train yesterday.....

We met up at a fancy bar to get drinks which was close to her (since she doesn't drive).... I was about 15 minutes late in cause I couldn't find parking.... I called her to ler know this but she jokingly teased me about it a few times... so I think she was partly bothered by it...

So I saw her sitting on this coach near the bar in which I approached her kissed her on the cheek and then walked to the bar with her to order a drink. I asked her what she wanted and she told the bartender and was reaching into her purse to pay for it and I told her don't worry I got it. She asked if I was sure and I said it was the least I could do for being late... she laughed and said yeah thats true.... so whatever went over to the coach and said we could go anywhere but I figured the coach made for the best logistics as it was a little isolated from the bar (not much though) and more comfortable that the stools.

So we sat down.. she sat basically on the left corner close to the arm rest... and I sat next to her... she basically talked about different things... told me stories of how she drinks a lot (typical of the girls I've been meeting) and another story of how she fell asleep on the train at 4am one time and missed her stop 5 times. The conductor had to wake her up and somehow made it home...... She asked me certating things and I tried my best to entertain but tried to keep it focused on her. I tried to kino to by touching her arm at times when I talked to her or putting my hand on her shoulder.... she didn't figit or anything... but she didn't kino me back either and she kept leaned away from me...... so I basically felt these were negative IOI's

Well finally I finished my drink and I asked her if she wanted another one... she paused for a second... and then said sure. She asked me if I needed money but I insisted I that I got it (yeah call me an AFC go ahead!) so anyway I brought back the drinks to the coach and this time I sat closer to her and tried to talk in her ear more and tried more kino by rubbing her back in a playful manner after she told me something and I also stretched my arm behind her on the coach (though not around her touchinng) and relaxed more..... so she basically talked some more but didn't kino me or show any IOI's that i'm used to seeing.... plus she played with her phone a little bit texting one of her friends. This is funny cause she took about a day to respond to my texts but she texted her friends more frequently...... just shows that these girls play games... but anyway..... finally she looks at her phone and is like "what time is it" so I jokingly say "what is it past your bed time" She's like no but I have to work early tomorrow so I have to go soon.... I'm like that's cool do you want to head out now... and she's like "I'm going to finish my drink first lol"... So whatever... we finally finish it and then she's like "I'm going to be going soon" so I'm like "come on lets go now" So we get up and leave... I ask her if she wants me to walk her back to her apartment which is nearby and she says "no its ok I do this walk all the time I'll be fine" I said "ok im just asking cause its late and this isn't the greatest neighborhood" She said "thanks for that thats nice but I'll be fine" So she says thanks and bye and I just go in and hug her and kiss her on the cheek... I then walk away and she says "thanks" and I tell her I'll talk to her soon to which she responds "yeah and nods her head"


LOL

Ok so accoring to Mystery's philosophy and the universal one of this board this girl has low IL..... based on all those little things right?


I'll follow up with her for the hell of it.... maybe on Sunday........

but whatever how could I even care after all that's happend to me...... I just can't take any of it seriously

I'm going to disagree with dameguy (I like that better than daygameguy).

This might just be my impression from reading and not having observed, but it seems to me that she must have been relatively interested. Ok, she wasn't jumping your pants but you can't expect that from a chick.

She

1.) Agreed to meet with you alone at a bar (aka traditional date)
2.) You paid, making it clear in traditional terms that it was a date (there are cheaper ways to accomplish the same thing, but why not )
3.) Did not pull away from being touched.
4.) She was laughing at your jokes man, and it sounds like you were able to keep the conversation flowing.

All this is well and good. It seems to me that if you make a few minor tweaks, you're pretty much exactly where you want to be.

You need to have a mindset that your goal is not so much to express your interest, but to get her to express hers. She might not even be sure she's interested, but your goal is to get her to backwards reason into deciding that she's interested.

Your goal is to get her to do all the things she would do if she were interested. SOIs are good, but getting *her* to SOI is the best way I have ever found to escalate physically.

1.) Kino - your goal is not to touch her. Your goal is to get her to decide touch you. Touching her may further that goal, but that is the goal. The easiest way is to ask. "Hey can I have a backrub? Oh wait, with those powerful pianist hands, you'd probably crush my vertebra."

Just touching her does not increase her attraction or willingness to touch her back.

2.) Get her asking about you - why are you bringing the conversation back on her? That makes you seem so evasive dude. Do not do that. Get her super curious about you - laughing, mysterious, get her asking questions. Answer them, answer them truthfully, but always keep her wanting more. Talk about her just to get her more interested in you !

If she doesn't bite on a hook, bust her for not asking you questions. Let's say I tell her my cat is the most amazing athlete I have ever seen. She doesn't say anything. I wait in silence. ***Force her to ask you questions.*** If she says nothing, I say, "wow that didn't pique your interest at all. What do you do for a living, train animals for the kitty olympics?"

Corny, but I could come up with some pretty good follow ups for that depending on the context. Moral of the story, use silence, hooks, interest, humor, mystery to get her asking about you !

3.) Ask her to pay for you. If she does, she just expressed interest again.
4.) Get her to say why she finds YOU sexy. The simplest way? Again, just ask. Maybe start by talking about her, but bring it back to you.
5.) Also, be upfront about anybody she's seeing. Talk about it openly. Honesty is another SOI on her part.

This is tough. There is a real art to this, especially number four. But it is powerful stuff.

I know these ideas are probably a shift in mentality. But I honestly believe that chick likes you to a decent degree. She just wants you to build some more attraction from her, and get her to show it more concretely.

Anyway, as usual, the ladies can't resist you, man. Don't think that just because they're not unzipping your pants in a bar that they don't like you. Ladies are shy, you have to get her to show her attraction. As usual, you're doing well. Just some minor tweaks and I think you'll find a lot more success.

Love,
Izza

 

[izza]

Number four is the most powerful of them all. If you can a girl to talk about why she's attracted to you, you're in.

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks all...... this is going to be interesting because we have a difference of opinions... BB and DayGame are taking the fundamental vantage point that the IOI's weren't there and that her IL is low...... izza you are looking at it through objective lenses without a slanted view per say (due to DJ philosophy preached by this board)

who's right? Well I guess I'll see when I follow up Sunday. From my journey so far I have to say that the DJ lenses don't always show the real picture. For example remember the south american girl that gave me all the IOI's in the world but wouldn't kiss me.... Well mostly everyone thought she was gone but I pulled the "AFC" move left her a voice mail apologizing if I offended her... and she called me back in which we had a few more dates and I ended up kissing her for real....... The ending of that story wasn't happy but it does go to show that sometimes you have to break the rules

BB don't worry I won't tell this girl off. Its not like I feel led on like some of the other girls on here..... I talked to this girl briefly a few times and set up a meeting..... so my emotional investment isn't there to get upset. For the heck of it if she is flaky I'll try my LJBF experiement as I've done with a few and see what happens..

Speaking of that experiment.... I sent random texts before my date on thursday to that HB 7 arab girl and the HB 7 sorrority girl asking if my wardrobe looked good... they asked why and I told them I had a date..... I then said I would "add" them as friends on Myspace lol..... This has been one of my experiments with girls i don't get angry with.... LJBF them before they do it to me lol....

Daygame didn't forgot about your advice..... believe me this girl did not give me any signs she wanted to be kiss as she kinda leaned away from me most of the night.... It would have been freaky if I went in and just bit her neck and kissed her.... trust me..... Still I appreciate the advice and would like to know how to raise intimacy and when to do it


izza..... I actually kept the focus on her based on that juggler video you sent.... he says to get her to say things about herself and comment on them with interest so you build rapport


Anyway I did do an approach yesterday believe it or not..... It was negative... I was this real dumpy bar where everyone seemed to know everyone and was about to leave when I noticed a girl heading in my direction.... I positioned myself so that she would kind of graze me... and when she did I said "ouch" she turned around and I looked at her and smiled

Me: you bumped into me that hurt
Her: aw did I hurt you for real?
Me: yeah... what do you have sharp purse
Her: lol... no its normal look
Me: lol so whats your name
Her: HB 7 you?
Me: Jayer.... you have an accent where from?
Her: hahaha guess
Me: Polish?
Her: haha close a little bit more east hows your geography?
Me: hahah (thinking) ummmmmmmmmmmmmm Russia?
Her: starts with a U
Me: Ukraine... I knew that lol......
Her: yep haha where are you from
Me: America
Her: so funnny your background
Me: european too
Me: but anyway im actually looking for my friend i cant find him... im going to leave
Her: yeah i have to go find my friends it was nice meeting you
Me: let me get your number ill give you a call sometime
Her: I cant do that I have a boyfriend


Now I have to admit.... I felt all the IOI's were here with this girl and I've number closed girls with less rapport than this.... this really struck me when she said this

Me: hahaha no you don't
Her: what......? No I don't
Me: just tell me you think Im ugly I can take it
Her: you wanna see a picture?

She pulls out her digital camera and shows me a picture with some guy... the guy didn't resemble her..... it could have been legit but who knows

Me: haha that looks like your brother
Her: whatever I gotta go
Me: nice meeting you


Approaches 79
Numbers 48

 

[daygameguy]

Ouch. you painted a painful rejection dude. Her buying temp was going up .. you could have hit it off the roof by not closing so soon.. and instead of saying "i gotta go lemme get your number" better talk about some place you like going to... and suggest the idea of her tagging along. That way you are not asking her for a date. Pickups can be such a roller-coaster.

 

[daygameguy]

just my 2 cents -

1. Always make sure you have given enough value before you start taking value. You should have kept on making her feeling good, and after some IOIs you are allowed to close.

2. Never use words like "but", "anyway".. they kill buying temp - be straight to the point.

 

[Igetit!]

Jayer,
I just wanted to say what an inspiration you have been.I just stumbled across your posts about a week ago,and man what can I say?I was hooked. I read each and every one of them starting from jun 2005 up to the present.Man,what a rollercoaster of a ride! Almost like watching a action/adventure film.Anyhow,good luck,and I hope you find the success you`re looking for.

 

[Reyaj]

Igetit this means a lot to me... especially during this rough patch I've hit so thank you. Comments like yours help keep me motivated.


So now for the updates....... both on the train girl follow up and 2 weekend approaches I did...... not looking good so far lol.....


Ok so I'll start with the train girl since that's been the recent focus.... I called last night at around 9:30pm....... no answer....... so she didn't call back or anything...... about an hour later I took BB's advice and I texted "hey i tried calling earlier. I saw a girl passed out on the train who missed her stop 5 times and I was wondering if it was you "

Well no response at all...... I'd say its pretty much a flake although this girl has taken a day to respond to my texts in the past so that may be the only thing I have going for me.... still I aint holding my breath thats for sure.

I also texted a few plates I had falling outs with "hey hows it going" The first being the airline girl who dissed me to go drinking with her friends (who I then dissed by making a face at her and ignoring her when she waved to me) and then the college girl I made out with 3 times before she flaked and wouldn't tell me what happend. The airline girl didn't respond and the college makeout girl texted back "hey i got a new phone who is this" to which I didn't resopnd


Now I did some weekend approaches and it was pretty bad.... although I used similar mechanics to what I've done in the past.... maybe its just my luck.... but here's how it went down

I was at a popular outdoor club with some friends when I noticed a 3 set across the bar. I saw this HB 7 so I just went up to her and was like

Me: Hey is there a volley ball court here somewhere (I had seen it earlier)
Her: yea Its on the other side over there
Me: (smiling) are you serious.... you're not going to make me walk over there for nothing right?
Her: no for real its over there
Me: ok.... its my first time here so I wasn't sure
Her: oh really, I've been here a few times its cool
Me: whats your name?
Her: I'm HB 7, whats your name?
Me: Jayer nice to meet you, where u from
Her: xxxxtown you never heard of it
Me: actually i have.... its by xxxxxx right?
Her: yeah how did u know...
Me: I've been around lol... so how did u end up here

well she goes into this story about how she came out for school and I then asked her about her job which was designing make up or whatever who cares... she then even mentioned that she moved out here for her ex boyfriend who she called a douche bag which I joked with her about by this time my friends were already out of the set and her 2 friends were talking among themselves... but I knew I had to close before I got cb'd

Me: so listen I just totally lost my friends I need to go find them
Her: ok well it was nice meeting you
Me: let me get your number I'll give you a call sometime
Her: sorry I have a boyfriend
Me: no you don't... just tell me you think I'm ugly I can take it (smiling)
Her: no no I do... I'm seeing someone and I'm very happy spending time with him
Me: ahhh well it was nice meeting you (and I walked away)

I made a bunch of small talk with girls but never had the signs to go for the close except for one I saw on the way out.... I noticed a 3 set sitting against the wall

I just walk up to one girl and smile

Me: I hate this place I'm leaving
Her: what... I love it here
Me: not me... lol whats your name?
Her: I'm hb 6 you?
Me: Jayer, what nationality are you
Her: Puerto rican how about you
Me: guess
Her: blah, blah blah blah,
Me: no... close with the last one though
Her: i have no idea
Me: italian
Her: haha oh ok
Me: anyway listen I'm on my way out let me get your number
Her: (shakes head and laughs) nooooooo
Me: (already disgusted with the night) blah whatever peace



Approaches 81
Numbers 48

 

[DonGorgon]

^^ I think you close too quickly which makes them thing you are afraid or not serious.. Its like your not making a strong enough impression..

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

^^ I think you close too quickly which makes them thing you are afraid or not serious.. Its like your not making a strong enough impression..

exactly.

Jayer, you're doing good for the most part. But these last few, it just seems like you go straight for the kill (best analagy I got right now), and that seems to turn girls off--not all of them, mind you, but it's just bad taste.

Build more rapport. Don't lie to them, just don't give them the whole truth. Be a recruiter--and promote yourself. You've made a ton of progress, and it shows throughout these threads--remember, I was on here when you started this, just learning myself, and I like myself a whole lot better.

And just to reiterate something someone (I think it was BB) said earlier, don't tell girls off, no matter what. That's just straight up immature.

And you've obviously been an inspiration to some, Igetit, for instance.

Overall, good job, keep it up, but quit trying to close in 40 seconds.

 

[JahGlory]

Your toppic has given me confidence!!

granted i havent looked past the last page but seeing someone okay with ****ing up is enough. you should post what you learned to enforce it in your mind

is tehre a reason youre going up to only 6's adn 7s?

 

[Igetit!]

The Nice Guy is Gone is 100% right.That is EXACTLY correct.You try to close too soon.Like I said before,I have read your posts and I have noticed a few patterns that keep showing up.I noticed that nearly every time you say to a girl,"Look,I have to go find my friends,let me get your number so I can give you a call."you get the number.Brilliant,man.Keep doing that.That"s a good pattern.A bad pattern is that the majority of those numbers turn out to be flakes.My understanding about flaking is this:Flaking is the result of excess attraction with a small amount of comfort.In other words,the formula is this:
Excess attraction+little comfort=Flaking
Little attraction+excess comfort=Friend zone/LJBF
Think about it.Flaking almost never happens when your are in the friendzone with a girl,but when it is a possible romantic/sexual relationship,all of the sudden all these flakes appear.So my suggestion is this:when you start a conversation with a girl,focus more on her feelings and emotions than on gathering facts and information.In other words,don`t approach her and say"What`s your name?Where are you from?How old are you?Where do you work?How long have you been there?and so on.Just approach the way you normally do,and after the name exchange try this:
You:How much do you want to bet that I can guess your age and your birthday in 2 tries?
Her:Yeah,right.
You:I`ll tell you what.I`ll make a deal with you.If guess your age and your birthday,Let`s see, what do I want......oh yeah,I went bowling the other day and my hand is still sore,so if I win,I get a hand massage(kino),but if you win,well what do you want?...Oh wait,I know.If win I get a hand massage,but if you win,I`ll let you give me a hug.That cool with you?
Her:Ok,that`ll work.
You:Now listen.I`m a man of my word,so if I lose,I`ll pay up.You can give me a hug,BUT make sure you keep your hands up above my waist,got it?
I would try something like this,you`ll still be asking the standard How old are you,what do you do questions,but with a higher energy and more playfulness.