Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Reyaj]

Bump!

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Wow, more than half the time you get a number. That's impressive.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Girls always know when you are going for a kiss. You should not have mentioned anything about it, and you should not have gone in after the first "cheek" was given. 2nd date, paying for the tickets is kind of an iffy thing, but having her wait while you got the car just depends on the kind of girl she is.

After you got "kiss" rejected, you should have counted that as the night, told her good night and left. I don't see her actually answering any more of your phone calls b/c the way the end of the night played out.

If I am wrong about this, let me know. Overall though, you are doing a great job and have shown vast improvement from when you first started this thread. Good Job!!

 

[Reyaj]

Wow, more than half the time you get a number. That's impressive.

You know what... it doesn't seem like it even matters... if the girls don't flake I get weird situations like the one i just posted about. It can be very discouraging at times... tonight I am supposed to try some approaches but honestly my morale has been down. Hopefully I can get back on track. From the approaches thus far I've gotten 1 lay and some make outs... I guess on the bright side its more than I would have gotten without doing this.... I just hope I really improve...

 

[Reyaj]

Girls always know when you are going for a kiss. You should not have mentioned anything about it, and you should not have gone in after the first "cheek" was given. 2nd date, paying for the tickets is kind of an iffy thing, but having her wait while you got the car just depends on the kind of girl she is.

After you got "kiss" rejected, you should have counted that as the night, told her good night and left. I don't see her actually answering any more of your phone calls b/c the way the end of the night played out.

If I am wrong about this, let me know. Overall though, you are doing a great job and have shown vast improvement from when you first started this thread. Good Job!!

I actually agree with you. THe thing is whenever I used to go out with girls in the past I've always been very hesitant and shy about kissing and would hope they would start making out with me. Its because of this past I make it a point in my head to be more agressive and take chances. In this case it back fired on me.

But in all seriousness this was our 2nd date and I was getting great kino signs from her. I think almost anyone in my situation would have thought it was a good idea to go for the kiss.

But I guess you are right... I should have just accepted that when I get her cheek that was it.... I honestly really wanted to kiss her though and as bad as this might sound I felt she owed me at least that. I guess this is a lesson I can learn... though... The reason I actually went in again after I got the cheek the first time is because I thought maybe she didn't realize what I was doing... but you are probably right that girl knows....

I actually didn't call her... and to be honest as much as she probably got turned off I did too because how are you not going to kiss someone good night that you like after all that kino.... I hate chicks that play games......

But yeah she didn't call me yesterday which is odd because before this all happend she used to call me almost everyday. So The Nice Guy is Gone you are probably right. I don't know if I'm going to call her or not... I guess we'll see how I feel. I'll let you know what happens.


oh and this girl seemed different.. I mean she is south american so maybe its the culture thing too... but like I said she called me everyday and didn't seem to play games or at least as many as American girls....... oh well whatever.......

 

[Microphone Fiend]

wats good Jayer. Nice to see the progress. One idea I would like to propose is to not wait until the end of the night to make your move. While it is the traditional way to do things, it makes for such a momentous occasion and makes it more tense/awkward/weird than if you tried it during the date. They KNOW that it is coming when you try it at the end and that if they don't reject your advances it could lead right to the bedroom coz you are outside their house. When you were laying on the kino during the date, just make some Eye Contact, lean in and go for it.

Also, don't sweat the kiss rejections, it just means she is not primed or the time is not ready. Just keep @ it til the time is right or she full out rejects you

 

[Reyaj]

wats good Jayer. Nice to see the progress. One idea I would like to propose is to not wait until the end of the night to make your move. While it is the traditional way to do things, it makes for such a momentous occasion and makes it more tense/awkward/weird than if you tried it during the date. They KNOW that it is coming when you try it at the end and that if they don't reject your advances it could lead right to the bedroom coz you are outside their house. When you were laying on the kino during the date, just make some Eye Contact, lean in and go for it.

Also, don't sweat the kiss rejections, it just means she is not primed or the time is not ready. Just keep @ it til the time is right or she full out rejects you

Thanks MF. I have heard this idea before as far as going for it before the end of the date. I totally agree with it also... only for some reason for me its hard to do..... Still this is a good point to keep in mind for future endeavours.

I honestly think I salted myself up with this girl man. She had very high IL in me... I mean she called me almost everyday flat out flirted with me... but from my experiences whenever a kiss is weak or akward the girl ends up losing IL and flakes..... What happend the other was unfortunately all of the above. LIke I said I also lost interest... half of me doesn't even want to call her. I told myself I would do it today but now I don't even feel like it....... When I think about it, it irritates me that the girl wouldn't kiss me after all that high buying temperature. Up until that point she actually seemed like her games though existent were minimal compared to American chicks.

Should i next???

 

[izza]

Thanks MF. I have heard this idea before as far as going for it before the end of the date. I totally agree with it also... only for some reason for me its hard to do..... Still this is a good point to keep in mind for future endeavours.

I honestly think I salted myself up with this girl man. She had very high IL in me... I mean she called me almost everyday flat out flirted with me... but from my experiences whenever a kiss is weak or akward the girl ends up losing IL and flakes..... What happend the other was unfortunately all of the above. LIke I said I also lost interest... half of me doesn't even want to call her. I told myself I would do it today but now I don't even feel like it....... When I think about it, it irritates me that the girl wouldn't kiss me after all that high buying temperature. Up until that point she actually seemed like her games though existent were minimal compared to American chicks.

Should i next???

LOL, "should I next???"

Should I eat tacos or a burrito???

Should I wipe my @ss with paper towel all bunched up or wrapped around my hand???

Help me sosuave!

Jayer, what do YOU want? If you think it will be FUN to call and talk to her, then just call her. If not, just don't. It's that simple.

The best way to become fun is to become great at doing what you want. Do what you want and you become fun. Follow what you want. Nobody here can tell you what you want.

Also, even if this chick isn't interested in you now, remember, "initial high IL" isn't enough. A lot of dudes think this is enough because they're dudes. But in my experience it's just not true. Chicks will have high IL but their emotions change like the wind, or they get scared. Especially after "three days."

Chicks don't work like men. With men, if a chick is hot and cool, the guy will feel the same way about her tomorrow or a week from now.

With women, I have found that three is the magic number. You have to impress a chick at least three times before she will consistently *show* high IL over time.

Also, remember that chicks can be extremely not-direct. I've met chicks who were bloody in love with guys. When the guy rolled up they're there, nail-filing their little claws. It's amazing.

With chicks, forget reading them. It's weak. Your focus should be on creating a great interaction, whatever her vibe. And if her vibe isn't as great as it was last time, say something, find out what's going on. You'll usually get some priceless information that helps you manoeuvre.

FYI, a lot of the greats are just more direct. They ask what's going on and they seek information about chicks very directly. There is no point in approaching a married chick one way and wondering what on earth is going on...

Kiss rejection

I can tell you that some girl "kiss rejected me" a few months ago and trust me I'm doing just fine with her now.

Yes, I viewed it as a "kiss rejection" at the time. Yes, it stung. Then I realized the sources of my insecurity and I healed myself. Made me stronger.

You have to remember, dating is a dance. Just because women take a step back, doesn't mean they won't take a step forward. In salsa, the lady always begins by taking a step back. The gentleman always begins by taking a step forward. Don't take it personally, that is the way things have been for thousands of years.

Now if you freak out, act hurt, insult her, mope, "act indifferent" (which doesn't work), yes, she's going to take that step back, then she may decide to turn around and run. It's as if she took a step back on the dance floor and you said "what are you leaving me? Oh no! Aaaaaaah, I don't deserve women, I'm such a horrible person!" Yeah, she's going to run away dude.

But.

If you actually believe you're a great person - which judging by your posts, you're not as convinced as you could be - you will understand that things happen this way sometimes. That's the way the dance moves.

If you keep your cool,
If you crack a joke that's ACTUALLY funny and goofy (not a forte of the many bitter-of-heart on this forum),
If perhaps you even joke about the "kiss rejection" directly and non-chalantly, the chick will come around. It's all about how you react. She will step forward, toward you again.

Remember that and make sure you don't step back

Izza

 

[Reyaj]

LOL, "should I next???"

Should I eat tacos or a burrito???

Should I wipe my @ss with paper towel all bunched up or wrapped around my hand???

Help me sosuave!

Jayer, what do YOU want? If you think it will be FUN to call and talk to her, then just call her. If not, just don't. It's that simple.

The best way to become fun is to become great at doing what you want. Do what you want and you become fun. Follow what you want. Nobody here can tell you what you want.

Also, even if this chick isn't interested in you now, remember, "initial high IL" isn't enough. A lot of dudes think this is enough because they're dudes. But in my experience it's just not true. Chicks will have high IL but their emotions change like the wind, or they get scared. Especially after "three days."

Chicks don't work like men. With men, if a chick is hot and cool, the guy will feel the same way about her tomorrow or a week from now.

With women, I have found that three is the magic number. You have to impress a chick at least three times before she will consistently *show* high IL over time.

Also, remember that chicks can be extremely not-direct. I've met chicks who were bloody in love with guys. When the guy rolled up they're there, nail-filing their little claws. It's amazing.

With chicks, forget reading them. It's weak. Your focus should be on creating a great interaction, whatever her vibe. And if her vibe isn't as great as it was last time, say something, find out what's going on. You'll usually get some priceless information that helps you manoeuvre.

FYI, a lot of the greats are just more direct. They ask what's going on and they seek information about chicks very directly. There is no point in approaching a married chick one way and wondering what on earth is going on...

Kiss rejection

I can tell you that some girl "kiss rejected me" a few months ago and trust me I'm doing just fine with her now.

Yes, I viewed it as a "kiss rejection" at the time. Yes, it stung. Then I realized the sources of my insecurity and I healed myself. Made me stronger.

You have to remember, dating is a dance. Just because women take a step back, doesn't mean they won't take a step forward. In salsa, the lady always begins by taking a step back. The gentleman always begins by taking a step forward. Don't take it personally, that is the way things have been for thousands of years.

Now if you freak out, act hurt, insult her, mope, "act indifferent" (which doesn't work), yes, she's going to take that step back, then she may decide to turn around and run. It's as if she took a step back on the dance floor and you said "what are you leaving me? Oh no! Aaaaaaah, I don't deserve women, I'm such a horrible person!" Yeah, she's going to run away dude.

But.

If you actually believe you're a great person - which judging by your posts, you're not as convinced as you could be - you will understand that things happen this way sometimes. That's the way the dance moves.

If you keep your cool,
If you crack a joke that's ACTUALLY funny and goofy (not a forte of the many bitter-of-heart on this forum),
If perhaps you even joke about the "kiss rejection" directly and non-chalantly, the chick will come around. It's all about how you react. She will step forward, toward you again.

Remember that and make sure you don't step back

Izza

Priceless response Izza thank you. She didn't call me again yesterday.... which I now have to assume she won't.... so its either she's waiting for me to call or she really did lose all IL which I know from my past experiences as well can happen just like that (snaps finger)...

But the truth is this whole situation really got to me. I think what i am going to do is give this girl a ring today and leave her a voice mail. If she doesn't call back or respond then thats an automatic NEXT without hesitation on my part. But what's most important is that i'm trying to learn something here.....

I will do my best to keep cool when I call her and have my fun spirit which I think actually attracted her to me in the first place. Unfortunately if she does turn out to flake because of what happend I don't know if I will get a direct answer. The last girl I asked for the reason after flaking (and actually it was our 3rd date.... go figure) she made some bs about her cell phone being broke and committed to it.

Like I said this is really all about learning..... so I hope at the very least I can learn a valuable lesson here that will help me move forward.

Being fun is the way to go man... i need to keep that mind...... unfortunately I have to honestly I say I don't know what I like doing to do it well like you suggest


I will post back and let you know what happens....

 

[Reyaj]

Alright well I made the call a little before her lunch hour which she says she is free to talk on. I basically left a message short and simple "hey its Jayer just figured I'd say hi, hope you are having a good day and hopefully we'll talk soon"

No call back or anything which is a bad sign....

So what can I learn from this? Don't try and kiss a south american girl on the 2nd date???? Be more forceful with the kiss instead of settling for her little fish mouth pecks???? If she gives you the cheek twice know that she isn't ready for it......? I guess I'll keep these things in mind. I just feel confused because before I'd be too shy to make a move and now that I was more agressive this happend....

Thanks for everyone support...

 

[Reyaj]

Ok I went 2 for 3 this weekend with a street approach success! However before I post about that I just want to quickly give an update with the spanish girl that was weird about my kiss attempt.

So Friday I called her during lunch and left her a vm... she basically didn't call back during that time which she had said she was free to talk and didn't call back right after work either.... I was basically thinking that I wasn't going to hear anything... but to my surprise around 7pm she called and left me a message. She basically said hello and she hadn't talked to me in a bit etc... sounded friendly but obviously she wasn't exhibiting the same IL as before.

Ok so Saturday during the day I call her and no answer. This time I don't leave a message. To my surprise she calls back like 4 hours later and leaves me a message saying she saw I called and that was it. So I call back like 3 hours later... no answer and I leave a message saying we are playing phone tag but I was home now so she could call. I said I'd like to talk to her.

Well no response from her all after that and none today thus far. I'm going to try calling her right now. I don't even care about it anymore but I want to talk to her to find out what was her issue with the kiss etc... .just do I can learn something from this experience...

Stay tuned....

 

[Reyaj]

So anyway she didn't call me back soon after so I AFC'd myself and left a message on her voice mail a little while later saying my kiss attempt probably made her feel uncomfortable and that I wanted to talk about blah blah... well she did call me after that a while later. She basically said that I didn't call her for 2 days so she thought I was moving on since she wasn't easy. She also told me for her the 2nd date was too soon... and she only kisses guys she is in a relationship with...... blah blah whatever.... I basically played the AFC role and am doing so currently as she seems a bit different than other girls. I'm still sarging though in the mean time..... Let me post the recap from the weekend approaches

 

[Charm]

So anyway she didn't call me back soon after so I AFC'd myself and left a message on her voice mail a little while later saying my kiss attempt probably made her feel uncomfortable and that I wanted to talk about blah blah... well she did call me after that a while later. She basically said that I didn't call her for 2 days so she thought I was moving on since she wasn't easy. She also told me for her the 2nd date was too soon... and she only kisses guys she is in a relationship with...... blah blah whatever.... I basically played the AFC role and am doing so currently as she seems a bit different than other girls. I'm still sarging though in the mean time..... Let me post the recap from the weekend approaches

Trust me, she isn't different from other girls unless she has a penis. She is feeling you out just like you are feeling her out and she's seein if you will let her run the show. I HIGHLY recommend taking a few days to focus and pursue other interests (and ladies) and let her "feel" that she misses hearing from you. Don't inform her of your plan to do this, simply do it, then call her.

Two possible outcomes will occur:
1. She will call you before the three days because she's become curious about why you stopped calling her.

OR

2. Her IL will raise because she'll realize your world doesn't revolve around her and that you have other things to occupy your 24 hour day besides her.

a win/win.

 

[Reyaj]

Trust me, she isn't different from other girls unless she has a penis. She is feeling you out just like you are feeling her out and she's seein if you will let her run the show. I HIGHLY recommend taking a few days to focus and pursue other interests (and ladies) and let her "feel" that she misses hearing from you. Don't inform her of your plan to do this, simply do it, then call her.

Two possible outcomes will occur:
1. She will call you before the three days because she's become curious about why you stopped calling her.

OR

2. Her IL will raise because she'll realize your world doesn't revolve around her and that you have other things to occupy your 24 hour day besides her.

a win/win.

I actually tried that after the kiss attempt last wednesday. I didn't call her for 2 days straight and she didn't call me either... I was waiting for her to call as she usually does. Then when I talked to her the other day she said because I didn't call she thought I either had a girlfriend or was upset that she wasn't easy. So it sounds like she was pretty much done with me... though if it was a battle of wills she definitely won it. You have to remember this girl has only been in this country a few years... I think with international girls you may actually have to be more AFC.... maybe some others can speak to whether this is true or not?

Anyway I spoke to her yesterday after she called me, I called her, and then she called me... we play a lot of phone tag. I set up plans with her for tomorrow. I suppose I won't be trying anything

Ok now for the weekend approaches. I went 2 for 3 technically though 1 approach was like a shot in the dark which I'll explain. Me and some friends went to this street with some bars on it in the city nearby. When we got to the first place there were basically 2 sets worth approaching. I opened the first in which the girl was very attractive about an HB 8... but her personality was pretty ditsy. I talked her up asking her what she does, where she is from, nationality blah blah blah. She was actually part Trinidadian so I used that to spin a lot of the convo. Still I didn't really feel a connection vibe or was really having "fun" (thanks izza!) where I wanted to ask her for her number. So I didn't... moved out of the set and approached the next set....

So there's a 3 set sitting at the bar. I'm with 2 other friends... I spot out my targert and I approach her from the side and ask her if she goes to a certain university (which seemed to be most everyone in the bar) she said she didn't and I just led in with where you from what do you do, your name etc..... It turns out this girl is from the south but is doing an internship in the area. She talked back and asked me some questions back. I then asked her for her middle and she told me. Then she's like I never tell anyone I just met that.. etc... She had a very stoic look but was recepeitive. Well finally I said "listen I have to go find my friend, I'm not sure if I'll be back but I should give you a call some time." She replies "yes I think you should" I pull out my phone and she gives me her digits!

Ok so 1 for 1 so far... we move onto the next bar which is pretty saturated with girls for the most part. The one set that was there we didn't act fast enough and another group of guys ended up closing them. Well anyway while inside the bar I see a girl through the window outside playing with her cell phone. I walk up to the window from the inside and start tapping on it to get her attention. She looks at me and I point to my cell asking her to text me. she looks confused... so I enter in the digits to my cell phone and show her indicating to text me... She then gets it looks at me and shakes her head no... I laugh and walk away....


So anyway we decide to leave that bar and start walking up the street passed some club with a high cover. There was some girl standing on the side playing with her cell phone as well. I noticed she had a relatively large hand bag so I shouted out to her "thats the largest purse I ever seen geez" She looks up surprised and says "hey its not that big come on" I immedately stop walking move up to her examine her purse and tell her it is from my view. I then go right into asking her name and where she is from since I detected an accent. It turns out she is from khazatan or something like that. I ask her about the club and what she's doing outside by herself. She says she is waiting for her friends to come out of the club. Now right here I realize she didn't mention "boyfriend" so I just go right in and ask her for her number. She becomes hesitant and says she doesn't just give her number out to strangers like that plus she is really looking for a Jewish boy (guess she is Jewish). I actually relax and empahtize with her and say "yeah I understand, it would just be nice to talk more but I understand where you're coming from" She then is like "well I can give you my email address" I again am relaxed and say "yeah thats fine" I then pull out my phone and I'm like "actually I don't think I can store them in her" All of a sudden she's just like "you know what, whatever I'll just give you my number" So I say "don't worry I won't bother you that much lol" I pull out my phone and get it.

Overall 2 for 3


Now yesterday I tried calling both of them at night time. Both the southern girl and the street pick up girl don't answer and I do not leave a voice mail. The southern girl however texts me about a half hour later and saying "what's up JAYER?" with the empahsis which shows she remembers me spelling my name out for her that night. I was surprised because I truly expected the text to just say "who is this" or something like that. Well I responded back saying it was me... we traded a few texts back and forth and then I said I ws going to bed. She said we should talk tomorrow and thats where I left it.

I then texted the street pick up girl a bit later saying it was from Saturday. She responds back saying "haha the fashion police guy who are you?" I respond back via text joking with her about not being Jewish etc... She then says she is going to sleep but says we will talk tommorow. I said that would be great and that was that.

We'll see what happens. The one caveat to these picks ups (and a lot of them) is that these girls are all considerably younger than me (early 20's) while i'm closer to 30. I actually lied about my age saying I was a bit younger.... but whatever we'll see what happens.




Overall

Approaches 63
Numbers 38

 

[Reyaj]

just a quick update. I did write the spanish girl an email which she replied to late the following day. We said we'd talk yesterday so I called her and she didn't answer and didn't call me back either. We are supposed to hang out today. I hope she's not flaking but we will see I suppose.

I also called both plates I picked up over the weekend. The first one I called was the southern one who picked up and we talked for about 20 mins. She isn't the deepest girl in the world so we talked about her job and where she lives and really a lot of general things.... She asked how far away I lived from where she was at etc... I said we should hang out sometime and she flat out said we definitely should. I told her I'd call her tonight.

I then texted the Jewish plate aka street pick up and asked if she was busy. She texted me back somewhat fast and said no she was not. I called she answered and I basically asked her to tell me all about herself since we only talked briefly on the street that day. Now I may have screwed it up here but she told me she was 24 which is a little older than I originally thought she was. She asked for my age first on the phone and I told her the same... but when she said her age I figured I shouldn't lie about mine since it isn't that far apart so I told her I was actually older than 24. She was like wait a minute why did you lie then etc.... I tried to change the subject but she kept going back to it and I basically said that I didn't hear what she said when she asked for my age the first time and thought that she asked me how old i thought she was... not sure if she bought it but whatever.... we started talking a little more after that. I told her I'd send her a text and she said just not too many (thinking maybe she gets charges for them) I ended the conversation saying I was really tired but it was nice talking to her and I hope we talk again soon. It turns out this girl speaks russian so before i hung up I said goodbye in Russian and she was surprised and responded. So since she thinks I'm going to send her texts... I'm not going to send any today and will send 1 tommorrow.

Thats a wrap for now...

 

[Reyaj]

I'll add something else too. Yesterday just for the hell of it I texted all the girls that never talked to me more than once after I got their number and said "so why do girls give out their number with no intention of talking" Well I got 1 response back from the Filipino girl. It read "i cant speak for all girls but when i get that drunk i just give it out without thinking. i apologize for not responding to your text, you seem like a nice guy"

I responded back trying to be funny "thanks for being honest. and all this time i thought it was cause I am caucausian lol"

That was it no response...

Just figured I'd share this real world example with the board.

 

[Reyaj]

been so busy haven't had time to update. Let me try to recall what has happend. I was supposed to hang with the spanish girl on wednesday. She called me during lunch time but I couldnt answer. I called her right after work she didnt pick. She called me an hour later saying she didn't feel good but said she wanted to see me. I told her if she was sick it was ok and she seemed happy I said that..... She said she would call me later when she woke up which she did around 11pm we talked and decided to see each other the next day.

So on Thursday she called me an hour after she got off work and I went to see her and we walked in the park. She touched my arm and I kino'd back... I then jokingly asked to hold her hand we did as we walked back to my car. I dropped her home and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and that was that. The next day which was Friday (yesterday) she called me during lunch time at work and we talked... she said she was going out to dinner with co workers but said she would call me later. I said we could get coffee and she said that might be fine. Well she called me around 9pm saying she just got in and we talked for a bit. I said I'd like to see her but she said tomorrow would be better... she is going away to visit her friend but said we could get together before that. She then said she was going to take a bath but would call me later. Well she never did. She hasn't called me today either.

Now obviously as you can see I've been doing everything AFC with tihs girl.... well I'm not going to call her until she calls me (lets hope I can call out) Technically its sort of messed up she didn't call me back... so I think I'm deciding on whether I should call her out on it.... or act like I didn't notice it. Still I am somewhat upset she hasn't called. Its too late to see her today anyway as she's on the way to her friend. I'm basically being AFC cause she told me she was flat out conservative nad rejected my kissing advances... plus she's international so I'm thinkin you may have to play it differently than American broads. One interesting bit is that she brought up the past relationship card last time we hung out by asking me about my past. I told her I take relationships seriously and I've only been in 2 which were a bit over a year. She said back in her country she was with a guy for 8 years.... but we just left the convo at that. We also talked about what we wanted in the future and she asked if I'm ready to settle down and all this stuff or at what age. I told her I don't go by age but by feel..... blah blah whatever. We've also traded a few emails back and forth in which she said I seem like a nice person and she liked seeing me....

I may have to start incorporating some DJ tactics here cause I feel like this girl is taking me for granted. I find it messed up she didn't call me back and not even today either. I think when she calls me I'm going to avoid her call today. I have a date later tonight anyway. I've been afcing it but I'm starting to get a little tired of it... especially since I am not getting anything from this girl. So we'll see what happens, but I aint answering the phone if she calls me today. Let her wonder!

Alright anyways so the Jewish street pick up girl; as I said I did not text her the following day after Tuesday which was Wednesday.. On thursday I texted her good morning in her native language to which she responded an hour or so later saying good morning how are you. I told her the weather is beautiful and she responded back saying yes it is and she is happy. That was that. I didn't call her that night cause I was busy.

So the next day which was yesterday I called her around 7pm and she didn't answer. I didn't leave a voice mail or anything either. About 40 mins later she calls me back and say she was taking the train home from work so she missed my call. We talked and she said she is going to the same area we met in Today. I told her if I was around I'd call her but if not we could get coffee. She said that was a good idea. We also made small talk and as usual I told her I was getting ready to go out but I'd talk to her soon.

The southern girl..... well I called her Wed and she picked up. We did our usual small talk and I said we should get together. She said Saturday was a good day and I agreed. We sent a few texts the next day in which I took a while to answer one of them.. and in turn she took a while to answer mine... but it was all good. I called her brieftly yesterday as well and she answered. She was on her way to the movies but I wanted to confirm our date for today. She said it sounded good. She just texted me right now as well saying "whats up!"

So lets see how it goes tonight... we are meeting in the middle of the city so I'm thinking maybe we can grab a drink and go shoot pool or something...

Afterwards I'm going sarging with my friends!

Stay tuned!

 

[thedeparted]

Dude, stop lying about your age. They don't need to know your age. But don't lie about it. That is lame and causes problems. From now on:

Her: How old are you?
You: 104.. but I don't look a day over 80, do I?

Second, the Spanish girl is not different from any other girls. Don't sit around and wait for a call from her. And don't play like you didn't notice she didn't call. Try calling and telling her you've been waiting for HOURS for her call, your cat needs a bath, you're afraid to run out for fresh milk, etc. Bust her balls on it, but move the ball forward.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

I find it messed up she didn't call me back and not even today either

Jayer!! Quit obsessing over the fact that girls don't call you when they say they will. Granted, it is MESSED up, but you don't know what could/may have caused her not to call you when she said she was going to. Don't bring it up, just let it be. If it was something important, then she'll let you know without your bringing it up. If you bring it up--that's going to show insecurity and that you will be attempting to qualify yourself as to why she should have called you.

And thedeparted is right, too--one of the worst things you can do (to/with anyone) is lie (about anything)--so don't lie about your age. I'm starting to see this girl right now who is 8 years younger than me, and she knows it. Why does she know--because she asked how old I was.

Overall though, you're doing a decent job--a lot better than when you first started this thread. Keep it up!

 

[Reyaj]

Departed and nice guy... you are probably right. I tend to lie about my age and nationality depending on my target. I still haven't decided whether its good or bad. Obvously lying in general isn't good and its best to be open and honest but if a girl is going to reject me upfront based on those things and lieing a bit at first helps me build rapport, well then I have to be honest that it may work to my advantage at times.



A lot of updates here; lets start with the Spanish girl. Well she called me Saturday mid evening but because I was taking a train into the city nearby I didn’t get the call. She left a voice mail saying she called to say hi and she was sorry she didn’t call me back but she was very busy running errands and now just arrived at her friend’s place. Well I was on my date with my southern girl (which I'll get to in a bit) so obviously I didn't call her back. While I was leaving my southern girl at the train station she also called me two times in a row (this was like after 11pm) but I didn't answer. She didn't leave a message. I called her back the next day and we talked briefly... she started telling me what a great time her and her friend had etc... She then called me later at night but I didn't answer the phone. Today she called me at work during my lunch and we talked. She sounded happy and started trying to brag about how guys hit on her when she was out this weekend. I played it off cool and told her I'd talk to her later. I may give her a call in a bit after I talk to my other plates.

Ok onto this weekend.... It looks like another situation where I thought the date went well but today feel like I am encountering another flake. Let me get to the date and then today. We basically met up at the train station in the city. She looked good.... a nice tall blonde blue eyed HB 7/8. I kissed her on the cheek and we decided to go to an arcade of sorts. Well I walked in front of her and often looked back to make sure she was behind me and didn't get lost since it was very crowded. We walked into the arcade and I got some credits. We play virtual car racing which she beat me at and we shoot baskets which she beat me at as well (used to play basketball) it was all in fun. When she talked to me she made eye contact. She doesn't laugh a lot (though she didn't on the phone when we talk) but she does joke around a lot and is very sarcastic. She always keeps the same face though so its hard to tell if she's joking or being serious. I told her this and she says everybody says it. So we walked some more into the city center and we decided to have a drink. So we sat at a table and I got us some drinks. She made eye contact when talking to me and sat pretty close to me. I made eye contact with her as well but at times would look away. She started asking me random questions and shared things about herself like that she wasn't sure she got into the right field and wanted to work at a resort for a year etc... I then did something different I'm sure you are all going to advise against... I told her she had beautiful eyes and they were distracting. She then sarcastically said... are you hypnotized when you look at me? I said eh.. not really lol.... A little c&f right there... but we continued to talk and watch the basketball game. I even made it a point to say that the basketball game was important so I looked up at the game from time to time. At a point our knees were touching each other, we were that close and she was cool with it. She mentioned a few more things that she was president of her sorrority in college but she never has been drunk and only drinks a little bit. She said it was a stereotype and she wasn't like that. She talked about her family religion all that blah blah. I have to say I really felt a good vibe with her and I felt it went well. She even mentioned hanging out again or jokingly said if I ever go visit her state she'd show me around. I also kino'd by touching her hands and her hair and arm at times.

Well it was time to leave so I walked with her back to the train station. I did some kino by putting my hands on her shoulders while she was in front of me. She was cool with everything. Finally we got back to the train station and I asked her if she wanted me to wait with her while her train came. She said it was up to me so I did. I was probably there for like 10 mins. When it arrived I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek... she may have wanted a regular kiss but I played it safe. I then grabbed her hand and held it and slowly let go of it as I walked away. She said we should hang out again.

So I didn't call her or text her yesterday nor did she which was normal. So today around 4:30pm I texted her "hey there how's your day going" Well she never responded... and she used to respond to my texts rather quickly. So about 4 hours later I decide to try and call her. Well of course no answer.... Now I probably should have just stopped here... but I decided to text her a few hours later and said "hey if you don't want to talk that's cool, but just let me know your still alive so I know you made it home safe"

No response!

I guess she flaked or got raped (God forbid)..... Another instance that leaves me completely confused because I was cool confident (barely nervous the whole time even though she was smoking hot) and I also got IOI's from her.....

Well the street pick up Jewish girl.... I texted her today saying hello and she texted me back pretty fast saying "thanks when are we getting that coffee cause I could really use it today lol" I texted her back like hours later saying it was such a busy day and I'd call her later. She texted me back saying k Well I called her tonight but she didn't answer. About an hour or so later she texted me "are you still awake" I texted back "yes" and she called me. She said she was talking to a friend when i called and then got distracted afterwards. Well we talked about work and stuff blah blah... I then said we should get coffee soon and she said emphatically "yes we should" I said friday but she said she was busy with some dinner and countered with thursday. I told her I'd let her know tomorrow. That was that....

I also texted the HB 7 arab plate and the out of state college girl who I havent' talked to in forever along with the philipino plate. The arab and out of state girl responded saying they were busy with school but were pretty friendly. I basically left that as is and didn't follow up with anything.... Maybe when my current plates flake (I just have to expect it now) I'll try to rotate them...

bottom line is... this game aint easy.... but at least I am starting to become a little more numb to flaking. The old me would have told this girl off already. I sorta just expect this **** now.....eh lets give it time.. maybe I will lol...