Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[izza]

Congratulations

Hi Jayer,

My apologies, I have been swamped. I will get back to you soon. Meanwhile, congratulations on meeting your goal. You have worked hard, you have challenged yourself. You have a lot to be proud of. Perhaps you expected that after 100 approaches everything would be easy - well, even then, it's not. But never let more work in the future stop you from celebrating a great thing you've accomplished. I remember, (what, months ago?), saying I didn't believe you were taking the best path to mastering your own sexuality with this 100 approach thing... but then I realized what a cool accomplishment it would be, whatever else I could say about it.

I feel wise to have to changed my mind... this is really impressive. You deserve a lot of credit for your courage and dedication to living the best life on our little planet that you can. You have learned so much - and you are on the cusp of so much more. I feel it man. Great job, thanks for sharing your journey with us. And in particular, thanks for discussing the ideas I post and for your welcoming of opinions. I have learned so much from your journey. I have just tried to share my experience and my very different point of view. I hope it has helped in some small way.

To me you show such kindness, humility, humor, and wisdom that, when you're ready to expose all these things to the women and others in your life, I know few will resist your charms.

Bravo.

Best wishes,
Izza

 

[rushing dude 123]

Well done man 100 approaches thats more than some guys will do in there life time, u were bit slow to start off with but with every approach u built more and more momentum and got better and better everyday. I also liked ur honesty, we all know its not number close and then u go in the sun set with the girl, there is a hell lot of game afterwards. U were honest and could post the actual situation so u cud get actual good feedback, even though sometimes it hurts to post the last success flaked.

This was one of the journals that got me thinking to return to the game, which i did, so thanks. I came cross similar area which ur in now, so ill giv u some last advice, u can take it or not its up to u dude.

The thing i noticed in ur last approaches is ur directness, i feel direct is key, it takes lot of work but trust me it will pay off. I got 40 direct rejections in a row, but now most times i wud go in direct i would get the number and yes it usually won't end up flaking. I can relate seeing at one point my flake rate was like 80-90% lmao, but now about 10-20%.

The key to direct, is to show her exactlly what u want instead of trying to trick her to get with u. so lets use ur last approaches has an example

"Me: hey do you know if there's an exit out here?"

now to be honest most girls know why u want to talk to them, but that approach is better than no approach at all. Now when she gives u her number if she DOES, does it really show that u were a upfront and confident man or that u were trying to just make an excuse to talk to her. She will remember u has the guy who tried to sneack past her defences because he thought that if he wud of went straight for it she wud of shot u down.

Now if u wud of came up to and said something like "hey there i know ur kinda into ur phone at moment, but to b honest something in my gutt is telling me to speack to u. either that or i am really hungry lol" then continue has in u wud normally, if u get her number, do u think she wud flake. i don't think so because she knows exactlly why u asked for it and when she gives it to u she has accepted.

Now your other approaches i liked.

Me: what's that on your necklace a star or a snow flake
Me: wow you sure wear a lot of bracelets

its not like ur looking for a excuse to talk to her, u c her and u r making the convosation.

But other than dude great work i can safely say ur a dj, u still got a long road ahead of u, but keep working and u will get where u want. i would wish u good luck, but looks like u don't need it, because u will make ur own luck.

RD

 

[Reyaj]

izza I'm looking forward to some more profound feedback from you. I know you've been busy probably eating Chicago pizza (2nd best to NYC) but whenever you get a chance I always look forward to your feedback. Just the idea of being proud of my efforts has already made me feel better.

IGetIT thanks for the post on Interest vs Investment... It makes sense but what is hard is getting her to invest or having some clear examples of her doing so initially....... I get the main point though...

Rushing Dude thank you for your praise and feedback... The whole indirect vs direct method will be one of the analysis points I will look at when I reread my journal..... The conclusion will be coming soon and it will be the most profound and important post I will make on this thread...

Just a super quick update as I'm pressed for time..... all my last number closes basically flaked.... THE NC Carolina girl never answered the phone once as I attempted to call and text.... then crazy girl got pissed cause I kept sending her a picture message of us hooking up (or so it appeared) she was an AW anyway... The girl I tried to be aggessive with was somewhat responsive with the texts and didnt answer the first time I called... i called a few days later and we talked briefly... she didnt respond to my follow up text and I reverted back a bit and said mean things (have to work on this I know) and that was that....

The funny thing is the girl who was "seeing someone" is showing the most signs if any.... she's responded to some of my texts... answered my call a few times... even called back when she missed my call... but as of this week she hasn't and I suspect its because of her other involvement... I am just going to put this plate on the backburner for the future if I still have any interested...

Ironically enough I did some approaches after this journal and they resulted in flakes with one showing a flicker... one I should have kissed closed but was outnumbered (had like 4 friends with her) etc.. long story...

Stay tuned for the conclusion....

 

[Reyaj]

Just adding a quick note.... that girl that was seeing someone and stopped responding to me, texted me out of the blue Saturday evening saying "how are you" I responded back a bit later with "Great. Actually going to your city tonight" She responded back "what are you doing in my city? i just got back from a trip with my mother"

We traded a few more and I then texted "so what are the chances ill get to see you one of these days" She responded back a bit later "im not sure because im leaving to puerto rico on tuesday and coming back sunday" I responded back with "you're so lucky!" and that was it

I did try calling her the next day but got voice mail.... I didn't leave a message or follow up text. SHe didn't call back...... I'm putting this one on the backburner...

My conclusion will be coming soon... I just need to make sure I do it when I have time and focus.... as I said it will be the most substantial post of this thread...

 

[Igetit!]

I think you made a mistake on this one Jayer.
It looks to me as if this was a test from her,and unfortunately,you failed it.
You talked to the girl,got her number,then called her(or tried to call her) to set up a date. She gave you some excuse,then later on you called her again. Then she gave you another excuse,then you decided to forget her and move on. Then once a couple of days of no contact from you passed by,obviously she missed the attention from you,so she sent you a text to the attention started back up. Imo,this is exactly what Lust was talking about in his thread,about women chasing their investment.

You calling and texting her,and asking her out a few times got her used to your attention,and she slightly invested emotionally. Then once you pulled back,now all of the sudden,here she comes out of nowhere sending you texts,asking how you're doing.

You answering her text was not the problem. The problem was you asking her out again. I would've just talked to her about whatever for a little while,said bye,then hung up the phone without asking her out.
This would have made her wonder if you were still interested in her,thus making her continue to chase her investment by possibly asking you out. By you asking her out again,now she probably thinks she "has you".
To her,it's like she has already won you over without even having been on a single date yet. You showed too much interest in her without her even having to do anything. To her,it's like she won you over simply by existing
In other words,you aren't a challenge to her. It's like she can have you anytime she wants you,all she has to do is say the word. Think about it.

To me,it looks like it's attention she's after,not you. If it were you,instead of giving you excuse after excuse about how she's so busy and how she doesn't have time,she'd suggest a time when she wasn't busy so the two of you could get together. Think about it. Why would she just send you a text out of the blue? What for? Whenever you call or text a girl,you do it to possibly set up a time so the two of you can get together,right? You don't call a girl just to tell her that your schedule is going to full for the next week,so you won't be able to see her,which basically is what she did.

So to me,that tells me that the purpose of her texting you was not to possibly get together with you,that there was something else she was after,and if you had made her work for it,and not just given it away through the texting,then she probably would have tried to get together sometime with you. In other words,the thing she was trying to get through the texting,if you had not given it to her though a text message,then she'd probably try to meet you in person in order to get it.

Anyway,it just my two pennies man. Still waiting for the conclusion report.

Peace man.

Hey,this is my 400th post,COOL!!!

 

[Reyaj]

I think you made a mistake on this one Jayer.
It looks to me as if this was a test from her,and unfortunately,you failed it.
You talked to the girl,got her number,then called her(or tried to call her) to set up a date. She gave you some excuse,then later on you called her again. Then she gave you another excuse,then you decided to forget her and move on. Then once a couple of days of no contact from you passed by,obviously she missed the attention from you,so she sent you a text to the attention started back up. Imo,this is exactly what Lust was talking about in his thread,about women chasing their investment.

You calling and texting her,and asking her out a few times got her used to your attention,and she slightly invested emotionally. Then once you pulled back,now all of the sudden,here she comes out of nowhere sending you texts,asking how you're doing.

You answering her text was not the problem. The problem was you asking her out again. I would've just talked to her about whatever for a little while,said bye,then hung up the phone without asking her out.
This would have made her wonder if you were still interested in her,thus making her continue to chase her investment by possibly asking you out. By you asking her out again,now she probably thinks she "has you".
To her,it's like she has already won you over without even having been on a single date yet. You showed too much interest in her without her even having to do anything. To her,it's like she won you over simply by existing
In other words,you aren't a challenge to her. It's like she can have you anytime she wants you,all she has to do is say the word. Think about it.

To me,it looks like it's attention she's after,not you. If it were you,instead of giving you excuse after excuse about how she's so busy and how she doesn't have time,she'd suggest a time when she wasn't busy so the two of you could get together. Think about it. Why would she just send you a text out of the blue? What for? Whenever you call or text a girl,you do it to possibly set up a time so the two of you can get together,right? You don't call a girl just to tell her that your schedule is going to full for the next week,so you won't be able to see her,which basically is what she did.

So to me,that tells me that the purpose of her texting you was not to possibly get together with you,that there was something else she was after,and if you had made her work for it,and not just given it away through the texting,then she probably would have tried to get together sometime with you. In other words,the thing she was trying to get through the texting,if you had not given it to her though a text message,then she'd probably try to meet you in person in order to get it.

Anyway,it just my two pennies man. Still waiting for the conclusion report.

Peace man.

Hey,this is my 400th post,COOL!!!

Thanks for the input. Whether its positive or negative I always appreciate an objective opinion of the situation.... But I think I should clarify the scenario with this girl because I think you may have her mixed up with another one or have the situation misconstrued;

This girl is from the last 4 numbers I got which concluded my approach journal. She is actually the one that showed resistance when I asked her for her number as she contemplated it and said "well im seeing somebody" I was able to use my "so we could be friends" and I ended up getting it from her.... Out of all the numbers I got that night I figured this one had the least potential but she is the only one that has really been somewhat responsive...

Just to recap that same night I texted her with "it was nice meeting you friend, talk soon" and she responded back with "ditto"

So anyway... a few days later I texted her just for the hell of it to see if she even stored my number... and she responded..... we traded texts back and forth and then she stopped responding and I did too..... I ended up calling her a few days later and to my surprise she answered and we talked a few minutes before I said I had to go.... we traded a few texts within the next days.. and I got her on the phone 1 more time for brief convo before she had to go because she was at her nephews pee wee football game.... The good thing about that convo was that when she asked my age she said she is used to meeting guys younger than her.... and she has not mentioned the guy she has been seeing once..... This is very similar to an earlier experience I had with a girl that gave me that "seeing someone" line but I still was able to talk to and see..........

But for the record up until my text on Saturday... I had never asked this girl to go out..... I figured since she was seeing someone I'd hang in there build rapport.... and when I felt the timing was right I'd try to get her out..... but as she started acting shady this past week with the non responses/call backs I figured I might as well try to see if she'd be willing to come out.... so thats why I texted her that...

Now I do think there is a lot of merit in what you are saying.. and looking back of course it looks like that was a bad move..... but hindsight is 20/20.. and I figured I had nothing going with this girl so I'd take a long shot..... I called the next day to see if I could build more rapport... but she didn't respond.... I'm not really phased because I never felt this girl had a good chance of materializing so I'm just going to put her on the backburner and maybe renter again when I'm bored but other than that I really don't care...

I agree 100% with the investment thing but i have to admit that this whole "be a challenge" thing is very much over rated as you'll see with my conclusion.... The reason for this is as someone on this thread previously mentioned.... Even an HB 5 has a stable of guys vying for her attention... if you don't keep yourself in her mind she will forget about you fast trust me....

That being said I do think having self respect and higher value as important... but just not to the same degree as this board theorizes it to be.... at least the DHV and Challenge aspects.....

 

[Reyaj]

So funny thing is i texted the AW brazilian girl just for the heck of it... and she responds back with "im in a relationship thats why i dont answer your calls" I respond back with "so we could be friends don't be sorry" She responded back with "i can't do that with you thats why im sorry Jayer" I respond back with "whats the problem with being friends?"

No response lol...

 

[izza]

Izza the time you take to read and respond to my threads is always appreciated.

Thanks Jayer. If I took as much time as you do thanking those who try to make a difference in my life, I'm sure I would be a much wiser person today. You seem to have a real strength for absorbing feedback, not taking it personally, and I'm sure this will serve you well throughout the rest of your life.

Being funny and having style and a sense of humor is what I feel my game is most naturally akin too..... so I definitely agree with that which is why I employ a c&f.... though I am careful with negs and agree they aren't necessary.

That's cool, my experience has also shown that "negs" are poisonous if done intentionally. I probably "neg" without thinking about it, but I always try to do it with love.

Now onto your deeper point....... Being light hearted and having fun is what you've emphasized throughout your posts... and when I interact with girls I try to let my natural sense of humor come out..... I agree this is important for overall happiness.

Another thing I really appreciate that you do: you take the time to point out where we agree. You notice how many people on this board focus all their writing on where people disagree? For people to have a constructive conversation it's important to know where people disagree AND where they disagree.

I do try to have as much fun picking up as possible - that said, I'm surprised to hear that I put emphasis on being light-hearted. My conversations with women are usually really honest and I bring a lot of negative emotions into them (if that's what I'm feeling) but mixing stuff so it doesn't get too heavy: "I've been feeling lonely recently. I think I need to buy another plant." You probably know all of what I'm saying, I guess - and now you that you mention it, I've been focusing a lot more on the light-hearted stuff recently. Talking about happy stuff, values, that kind of stuff, is really fun.

You bring up the question of:

"What does it mean to date ethically, in a way that uplifts you and your partner and help uplifts society? I bet nobody has ever asked you a question like that. Once you can answer it though, you can express your sexuality openly and easily. I challenge you to answer that question. It will make a difference."

So I think you are basically saying that finding one partner who is congruent with yourself and helps you elevate your natural attributes and charisma as you do for them results in mutual harmony which cannot be measured by any metric.......... If this is the ultimate goal... I'll tell you right now I agree with it 100%... However I am also going to say that I feel I need to have enough lays under my belt before I commit myself to something like that 100% so that I have no regrets and don't cheat..... I know that probably sounds shallow and absurd to you.... and I know from experience that sex is over rated.... still I have this desire in me to get a few more nothces on my bed post and I think when I don't get that far or when girls flake it tends to hurt my confidence...... but its probably cause I have the wrong goal..... I wouldn't trade that for finding my soul mate trust me....


damn you sure did a good job getting me to dig deep and convey these thoughts...

Thanks, I'm glad you took the time to dig into your values. I think it might be a good idea to look at my previous post.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1493176&postcount=772

I actually didn't advocate really any of the values you seemed to assume I had in mind:

-monogamy
-harmony
-elevate natural gifts
-"Getting enough lays" to be ready is shallow or absurd
-Getting confidence should be done through other means than experience
-Cheating is bad
-Sex is overrated
-Finding a soulmate is important
-Testing the field is somehow immoral

Now I know that the moment I say the words "dating" and "ethics" together, it's natural to assume I mean traditional values of dating. But no. I didn't assume any of these judgments or values - they seem to have come from you. I would agree with some, I disagree with others.

Most importantly, with this question I'm challenging you to take things you desire (apparently confidence, sex, intimacy, knowledge, for instance) and combine them with a system of meaning, aka ethics.

It doesn't really matter what I think about these values. What you think, though, is really, really important. And if you want to date lots of women, and improve your confidence, I laud that. The more you can speak honestly about your values and your morality, the more powerful you will be at rallying people to your cause.

If you don't have any morals, I would recommend you get some. Doesn't mean they have to be Christian morals- but having ethics is part of being a thinking person, and part of having a meaningful and full life - especially with women.

Definitely sounds like you are getting me to think about life philosophy in general..... I guess being happy is the most important thing.... and it shouldn't take success with women to make me feel that... I am definitely coming to this realization... but still I get lonely (emotionally) and horny (physically)..... other than that I am in a good frame but I seem to not be able to help life's mood swings........

Great. I think that we are not meant to be islands. In some ways, some of the best times in our lives should be spent with those we love. That is the most fulfilled we can be. Nothing wrong with wishing for the love and support and others. That's what I think.

Share more with me man....

Tell me more, tell me more! I say that a lot to people.

For me, these are my values:

-monogamy
Very important for many women, and I respect that. It's not so important for us guys. I love getting to know lots of ladies through the prism of dating - it is a great way to know the world I live in. I do not feel ready to be monogamous yet. Our number one goal in life is to learn, and so I love to fulfill myself through this kind of learning.

-harmony
For me, this is the number one requirement. I just want peace and love. Harmony in my life means more harmony I give to the world

-elevate natural gifts
This is also very important. What a miracle that some people magnify what is best in us! Finding people like this is life's little present - like getting a ride on your path. Plus this tends to be mutual - and nothing could bring more light to our world than two people who bring out the best in each other.

-"Getting enough lays" to be ready is shallow or absurd
It's not shallow or absurd. Confidence is very, very, very important to happiness. You need to do what it takes to feel good about yourself.

-Getting confidence should be done through other means than experience in the sack
Oh I would probably agree with that, I'm a virgin now but more confident that ever, and connecting with the ladies better than ever. But if you think sleeping with women will make you more confident, I would want you to be true to yourself and give it a try. If you think it'll work, you're aware that it hasn't for others, then maybe your situation is different.

-Cheating is bad
I'm ok with polygamy - being dishonest about it is wrong in my opinion. So long as the girl knows what you want out of life and dates you anyway, that's her problem.

-Sex is overrated
I've had a great time with all the sexual acts I've ever done. That said, it's kind of like a hunger for me. Once I'm full, it's overrated and cuddling is better. But when I'm hungry, it's pretty great.

-Finding a soulmate is important
Yeah probably, but no rush. Your spirit has to be open before you can welcome a soulmate into your life - otherwise the soulmate will destroy you and you will harm her.

-Testing the field is somehow immoral
Testing the field is amazing.

Those are my values. Not saying you have to agree with them or that you should. But I can tell you for a fact that I know what I believe, I can explain it, I can argue for it, I make people think and consider my beliefs. I don't really care if you or anybody else adopts my values. A person who can speak his or her values but accept others is a powerful person.

I believe that I live ethically, and things I do down to the littlest thing I consider their impact on humanity as a whole. That is a beautiful act, true discipline.

I've also become much better at the following:

-set mature limits with love, even if they get mad, they appreciate my honesty and kindness
-speak maturely and seriously about sex
-speak maturely and seriously about gender
-speak maturely and seriously about homosexuality
-speak maturely and seriously about race
-tell ladies what about their behavior attracts me to them and why
-talk about my needs
-discuss my negative emotions and hurtful experiences with complete honesty but in an uplifting way (this shows not just intelligence but emotional maturity)
-live healthily, with focus on value and quality not appearances

These are all things I'm becoming excellent at. Again, you don't have to agree that they're great. I just notice that I get a lot of respect from people of all walks of life for my ability to communicate maturely about these things. It's impressive and it's rare.

This is not me saying that I'm somehow better than anybody else. I can show you notebooks full of the hard work it took to get me to this point - I'm proud of that. I still have more work to do.

I believe anyone can do what I've done. I have just invested the time others spend at the gym, drinking, and invested it in my emotional maturity.

I'm not close to happy all the time, of course. I'm upset about some job stuff as we speak. But I know a lot of tools to find happiness, I will learn more if those don't work.

I'm looking forward to your recap.

Best wishes,

Izza

 

[izza]

Let me put this another way, just to make sure I'm being clear.

You've listed a lot of desires: confidence, sex, soulmate, sleeping around.

Can you tell me how each one of these desires would change the world for the better? For instance, how does it make the world better for you to get/receive oral sex, have sex doggy style, or whatever your dreams are with women?

You're probably thinking that's a strange question, since there are lots of people who have no ethics who get women.

Think of it this way, if you don't believe that getting what you want will make the world a better place, that is pretty demotivating. I know that many many people believe we are just motivated by self-interest, but psychology is showing more and more that while most motivations can be transformed into something that looks like self-interest, self-interest isn't really the best way to talk about what motivates us. It's more about seeking meaning.

If what you desire just benefits you and nobody else, that is very demotivating.

Can you imagine how much more motivated and powerful with women you would be if you realize how sexuality can transform you and people around you into better people, more alive people? If you can change the world through your sexuality, that is powerful stuff.

So from now on, if you ever have trouble doing something like getting women, getting phone numbers, the mystery is gone. Ask yourself at heart if you understand why what you're doing improves you, those around you and makes the world a better place.

Understanding the ethics of dating makes everything a lot easier. I believe it is a stumbling block for many people.

Best,
Izza

 

[NewJack]

wow, this is a huge thread. I cant read it all but the last few pages have been really entertaining. keep up the good work!!

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks Izza... I owe you a good response for the time you put in on that post. Things have been busy on my end but I'm hoping sometime over thanksgiving break I can really sit down and go through my thread so that I can write the conclusion. I do want to post a real quick update with something interesting I found out...

So you remember that girl that I kissed just for the hell of it while the taxi was waiting and it was real awkward..... well she never contacted me afterwards and I didn't either for at least a few weeks until I was bored and decided to text her for the hell of it.... she never responded though.... So last night don't ask me why but I decided to text her with

"Hey you answer something for me, I promise I won't bother you again if you"

Well tonight she texts me "what is it"

I respond with "do you not talk to me anymore because I kissed you"

She responded back with "partly yes"

I responded with "wow.... whats the other part?"

She responded "we just didnt click"

I responded back with "thank you for being honest. its interesting how 2 people can see the same thing different. you were very open and talkative"

Nothing...


But I am glad I was able to find this out..... cause I actually though it was going fairly well until she abruptly wanted to leave.... I did the kiss cause I figured there was nothing to lose and I might as well try and get something out of it... It was motivated by selfishness I suppose.... Still women are very difficult to read...

 

[Igetit!]

So you remember that girl that I kissed just for the hell of it while the taxi was waiting and it was real awkward..... well she never contacted me afterwards and I didn't either for at least a few weeks until I was bored and decided to text her for the hell of it.... she never responded though.... So last night don't ask me why but I decided to text her with

"Hey you answer something for me, I promise I won't bother you again if you"

Well tonight she texts me "what is it"

I respond with "do you not talk to me anymore because I kissed you"

She responded back with "partly yes"

I responded with "wow.... whats the other part?"

She responded "we just didnt click"

I responded back with "thank you for being honest. its interesting how 2 people can see the same thing different. you were very open and talkative"

Nothing...

What's up Jayer,

Now this is interesting. There's something here,somethig to be taken away from this,but for some reason,I can't quite put my finger on it. You said that after you had kissed her,there was no further contact betweem the two of you. You had sent her a couple of texts,however she didn't respond. So you sent her a text,no response,sent her a text,no response,sent her a text,no response,and then on this last text you sent,you sent her a text that "peaked" her curiousity,and then she responded. Plus,she gave you an honest answer. I wouldn't let this situation just pass by without examining it to find out why after all of the previous text that you sent her,why she decided to respond to this one. Because obviously she got all the messages you sent her,she just decided to ignore them. I'd like to know what you said to her in all of the other text you sent to her.

Another thing: What made you pinpoint the "kiss" as the reason for her not wanting to continue talking to you? You're the one who figured it out,all she did was confirm it when you asked her.

You know what this means (at least to me)? It means that ALL of the other girls you sent texts to who never responded apparently have been getting your messages,just like this girl here. They for whatever reasons just have not decided to repond,but if you can possibly "peak" their curiousity the same way you did this girl,maybe you'll hear back from them and who knows?
Maybe they'll turn into dates,or a least maybe you can find out why they lost interest like you did with this girl. I just found it odd that out of all the text you've sent to this girl,it was this one that finally got her to respond in an open,honest manner.

Now I see why you have to take your time before writing your conclusion to your journal. There's a LOT to be taken in account for. It would be funny if after three years and 100 approaches of talking to,interacting with,and going out on dates with women,that this one lone girl who truthfully responded to your text message,be the one who finally gave you an "aha" moment.

I do have a suggestion for you,and if you feel comfortable with it,cool. If not,I'd understand. I say to sent the same type of text to another girl,one who you've recently been sending text to,but who for whatever reason has stopped responding to your messages. As frank and honest as you were with this girl,do it with another. Let's see if you get another honest reply like you did with this girl,because if you do,that'll be two in a row,and you just may be on to something,something you didn't discover while you were doing your approaches.

Just a suggestion.

Peace man.

 

[Reyaj]

What's up Jayer,

Now this is interesting. There's something here,somethig to be taken away from this,but for some reason,I can't quite put my finger on it. You said that after you had kissed her,there was no further contact betweem the two of you. You had sent her a couple of texts,however she didn't respond. So you sent her a text,no response,sent her a text,no response,sent her a text,no response,and then on this last text you sent,you sent her a text that "peaked" her curiousity,and then she responded. Plus,she gave you an honest answer. I wouldn't let this situation just pass by without examining it to find out why after all of the previous text that you sent her,why she decided to respond to this one. Because obviously she got all the messages you sent her,she just decided to ignore them. I'd like to know what you said to her in all of the other text you sent to her.

Another thing: What made you pinpoint the "kiss" as the reason for her not wanting to continue talking to you? You're the one who figured it out,all she did was confirm it when you asked her.

You know what this means (at least to me)? It means that ALL of the other girls you sent texts to who never responded apparently have been getting your messages,just like this girl here. They for whatever reasons just have not decided to repond,but if you can possibly "peak" their curiousity the same way you did this girl,maybe you'll hear back from them and who knows?
Maybe they'll turn into dates,or a least maybe you can find out why they lost interest like you did with this girl. I just found it odd that out of all the text you've sent to this girl,it was this one that finally got her to respond in an open,honest manner.

Now I see why you have to take your time before writing your conclusion to your journal. There's a LOT to be taken in account for. It would be funny if after three years and 100 approaches of talking to,interacting with,and going out on dates with women,that this one lone girl who truthfully responded to your text message,be the one who finally gave you an "aha" moment.

I do have a suggestion for you,and if you feel comfortable with it,cool. If not,I'd understand. I say to sent the same type of text to another girl,one who you've recently been sending text to,but who for whatever reason has stopped responding to your messages. As frank and honest as you were with this girl,do it with another. Let's see if you get another honest reply like you did with this girl,because if you do,that'll be two in a row,and you just may be on to something,something you didn't discover while you were doing your approaches.

Just a suggestion.

Peace man.

Yeah man.. I think she responded because people are "curious" beings... I really had it pinpointed to either the kiss or the fact that I never called her for like 2 weeks after we hung out as the reason she stopped responding. The thing about this is I actually thought the date was going well.... she was very talkative to me, made good eye contact... the only thing I didn't do enough of was kino.... but based on her response it sounded like she was not into me at all on the date... so it just goes to show that you never know.... I figured I had a 50/50 shot with the kiss and being that I had a few drinks in me I decided I was going to try it for the hell of it..... the fact that the cab was waiting right in front of us made it a bit awkward but whatever.... I guess looking back I could say that the fact she "said she needed to leave" and said that "i didn't have to wait with her for the cab" could be seen as negative iois... but these are usually things i read too much into... I dont regret trying to kiss her... and the fact of the matter is I really wasn't very much into her anyway...

I appreciate the suggestion about doing this with other chicks.... if you actually look back in my journal you'll see I tried this at least a few times.... The one girl to this day I have no idea what happend was the college girl I went out with 3 times and made out with 3 times... and then she made up the bs excuse about her phone breaking... BS..... When I asked her cordially what turned her off she got really defensive and did the typical spin around which basically just made things end bitter between us...... You'll find girls do this a lot....

 

[Reyaj]

so funny thing is I end up getting a new cell number since mine broke... I lost a lot of these girls but was able to salvage a few.... I sent out texts today and that girl that cuts hair responded and we engaged in dialogue.. She told me she was 21 and i made fun of her for being a kid... i then asked if she was mature and made her self qualitfy herself... I got her to add me to myspace (she totally doesnt remember me) and her page is full of pics of her and her friends drinking, works as a shot girl for a popular and she has a boyfriend in which she wrote a survey about it... thought you might be interested

This time last November, were you single?................yess.



Who was the last person to make you smile?.................my boyfriend.


whats the last thing to make you mad?.............mom yelling at my this morning.



Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?.......................yes but those days are over cause i finally found someone that treats me the way im suppose to be treated.


What do you prefer, skittles or starbursts?...........Skittles.


How was last night?.............really good =)

What is your mom listed under in your phone?..............Mommy.



Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?..............Yesss.



How are you feeling right now?.................good and ****ty.



What was your last argument about?....................why i didnt take the trash out.



Have you ever stripped for money?.............ummm no.



Last nap?.................2 hours ago.



Who were the first 2 people you heard this morning?...........nicole and jen in class.



What are you listening to?.............nothing.



Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?................of course.



Have you ever stayed in a hotel?............yesss.



Ever been told you were loved by someone who didn't mean it?...............yesss.



Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?...................yupp.



Are you a big fan of snowstorms or thunderstorms?.....................snowstorms.



Were you happy when you woke up today?.....................yesss


Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?...................yesss.



Do you believe in perfect?.................noo.



How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries?..................yuummm.



Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?...................yesss.



Do you believe everything happens for a reason?.................yesss


Are you over your past?...................most of it yes.



Has anyone disappointed you recently?.......................yuppp.



Do you plan on kissing the last person you kissed again?.................of course ! tons an tons an tons of many more kisses toooo come.



Does it take a lot to make you cry?.................no - im a very emotional person.



Is there someone you wish you were still close with?....................yessss but everythin happens for a "reason".



What do the majority of people in your life call you?.................ellis.



Do you currently hate someone?.........................yesss.



What was the first thing you thought this morning?................yay its friday ! =]


Do you like the majority of the people you go to school with?...........yesss.



Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?.................oohhhh ya


Do you feel like you've got some growing up to do?...............yesss.



What will you name your son?..............justin or spencer.


Who was the last person you texted?...............boyfriend.


ohhh so that girl that told me "she was seeing someone" texted me and is making convo again.... this time Im taking a while to respond to the texts... and im going to see if i can get her on the phone and then get a meet up

 

[Reyaj]

What was the point of posting her "survey"?

Just wondering...

I just thought it might bring some insight to how attractive flaky girls think....

Anyway even though my journal is finished I have been doing some approaching..... it hasn't gone the greatest which is why I am looking forward to re-reading this thread and posting my conclusion. I feel that way I can internalize what is beneficial and explore what may be uncharterd.

Yesterday was a bit rough..... I had 2 girls I approached show me IOIs... talking close to me... touching my shoulder... the first one gave me the BF line which I was surprised.. and the 2nd one basically said I don't even know you..... she then re-engaged me.. and I tried again and she walked away.... I guess my timing is a bit off on my false time constraint........

Funny thing is tonight I am supposed to see a 35 year old which I ended up getting to talk by approaching her friend, and my friend actually closed her... it seemed like she was into me so he gave me her # and I've been talking to her sparingly for the fast few months (she lives out of state).... she is coming back today for a friends party so me and some friends are going to go.... If anything happens with this girl I'm thinking I should post it in my overall results becasue even though I didn't get her number directly it was because of me opening her friend on the street that any of this happend....


Although the conclusion is taking a while I promise it will be worth it......... stay tuned all

 

[Solomon]

Congrats Buddy!!

Congrats Jayer

This post is one of the biggest i Sosuave history (if not the biggest), you put in a lot of fing work!!!
you are nominee in solomon's top ten fr's of 2008.

Hope to see you there

peace

 

[Reyaj]

wow I just saw a picture of her boyfriend on myspace... he looks like he is almost 40 and she is only 21..... lol!

 

[Reyaj]

Congrats Jayer

This post is one of the biggest i Sosuave history (if not the biggest), you put in a lot of fing work!!!
you are nominee in solomon's top ten fr's of 2008.

Hope to see you there

peace

Thanks 4 the support.... I hope I hear my name announced at the ceremony lol...

 

[izza]

Hey Jayer,

I've been recommending that a lot of people check out the videos contained in this thread (the first two, if not the last four):

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153556

I'm looking forward to hearing what you think.

Best,
Jizza

 

[Reyaj]

Hey Jayer,

I've been recommending that a lot of people check out the videos contained in this thread (the first two, if not the last four):

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153556

I'm looking forward to hearing what you think.

Best,
Jizza

Thanks Izza... I'll try and check them out tomorrow and let you know my thoughts.


Just an update on last night.... so I met up with the girl and her friends.... she was nice but often didn't look at me... I had to basically push the conversation... her friend told me she liked me and was just kinda shy.... I kino'd her but she was almost like a dead fish... though she didn't reject me.... I finally got frustrated and decided to leave with my friends.... well a few minutes later she texted me "sorry u had to leave so soon, I hope it was worth your trip"

Well I started thinking that if I was an old man looking back at this night I may regret not being bolder.... so I texted her back "come outside so I can say goodbye" she texted back saying she was already in the car with her friend and asked that I walk to her.... Well I did and she came out.... it was kind of a tense moment... a moment where many times in my past I beat around the bush with the kiss and beta'd myself.... so I sensed this nervous feeling starting... I told her my friend was sick and thats why I had to go... it was kinda awkard.. but finally I was like well I'm going to get going I just leaned in and kissed her.... she kissed me back and we started french kissing.... I noticed her pull me in a little by putting her arm on my waist which reciprocated in kissing her back passionately..... when we stopped she said "now that's a goodbye" I smiled... gave her a little peck on the lips and was on my way.... She texted me saying she hoped my friend was ok and I texted back saying I hope she answers when i call (inside joke because she hasn't in the past) that was pretty much that....

Its funny cause again this girl really isn't factored into my numbers because my friend closed her but she ended up liking me and he gave me the number.. However it was I that opened the set on the street about a month ago to her friend in which we all engaged each other in convo.... so if it wasn't for me opening her friend on the street this wouldn't have happend... hence Im counting it....