Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[HeartbreakKid]

Izza

PS Good for you, HeartbreakKid, for being a person who brings others up. Most of the time, what stops people from picking up is just feeling unworthy. By being a person who brings others up, and makes people feel the way they should about themselves, I'd bet you're helping a lot. I'd bet you are doing more to help people than if you posted detailed techniques or brilliant instructions.

Cheers!
Izza

Izza, i just want to start by saying thank you for the comments above, it is much appreciated, those were some really kind words, and i hope i can help out more people in this way and others if possible.

Yea i had talked to Jayer since about a one year ago on this fourm and he hadn't made many approaches, his average was at like .640 and he said he expected it to come down, once he got closer to the end cuz he had so many more to do, and here we are at the end and it ended up at .620 so only a couple hundredths, which you cant even call that a drop off at all, its nothing!

This is a guy that his first couple a years people only averaged 2 approaches a month. BUT as you can see this last year or should i say as time went on in general he really put the pedal down and did work.

But what almost everyone here is missing is that even if he went 0 for 100 in getting there numbers, he still approached more women then most people have in there life, that read, and commented on these fourms. Iam one of em. I know i approached alot but not 100 yet. So easy for people to tell him what he is or isn't doing right, but that fact is its still 100 women, and that my friends breeds, experience and confidence anyway you look at it.

Like IZZA was saying, if you feel good about yourself it may be better than any technique or set of "rules" that you could follow, and i buy into that. If you dont believe in what your doing its not going to matter how fool proof your plan is, if your not confident its going to work. You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

And yea i was thinking about maybe posting some techniques and stuff like that, but most of the stuff is just a confidence issue, as it was with me when i first started. So maybe down the line i will but for now i just say what i feel and how it applied to me once too.

I just want to leave saying this. He cold approached 100 women, and got 64 numbers. Just think about it. Count to 100 in your head, and you'll start to realize how many women this is, and how much progress he has made. And i dont care how long it took, most of you reading this being honest have never approached that many, so give the man props were due. Thanks and for now I'm out!


Izza what part of the midwest you from? And you on the myspace?

 

[Reyaj]

Thank you for very much for the praise HBK! It means a lot reading praise like that. Ironically I've been busy spinning plates... and one from the last set of pick ups I made per this journal. It was the girl that resisted saying "she was seeing someone" after months of talking here and there, I've gotten her out, ended up getting kiss rejected.... played it cool like I didnt' care per the lessons of this journal... got her out again... she gave me resistance but I pushed it and realized it was just a weak strain of ASD and she wanted it.. she is still hot and cold but I realize its clearly a game... and she's clearly still seeing/talking to this guy that I've found out she's been with for like 6 years! Still I made an impression on her and not caring has made a lot of difference which I'll elaborate more on in my conclusion.

ALso just when I thought I seen everything lol.... a girl that I met after this journal surprised the hell out of me.... I got her number doing a quick cold approach, built up her IL with my solid phone game got her out this past weekend... hooked up with her nice.... making out hardcore... she even called me after she got home... next day I got a text from her saying we may not have a lot in common... lol... I got a little agitated but recovered and have been calm since..... its not always easy in this game.... but anyway that aside I hope to post my conclusion soon... what happens with the last girl per my approach journal will be a part of the final statistics and perhaps lessons. So stay tuned, thanks for the patience and support!

 

[Reyaj]

So I finally read through my entire thread and documented the points I want to post for my conclusion. I know it seems as if I have been procrastinating but plates have kept me very busy. Most of them being met after this journal came to its end but I still have one from this journal I picked up that I have been seeing.

So I hope to enlighten and give back to you all with my upcoming conclusion...

 

[Reyaj]

Well I know this is long overdue but as the saying goes’ “Better late than never”. Quite frankly the reason its taken me so long is because I’ve been busy spinning plates using the skills I acquired via this excursion which I have documented.

 

[Reyaj]

My Conclusion

Its been quite a journey for me I must honestly say. I’ve gone from being an avid reader and theorizer to being an active player with empirical knowledge of what’s really true in this game versus what is frankly over hyped dogmatic preaching. This is the story of a shy introvert who transformed into a confident societal male who’s willing to put himself out there for a potential reward. I’ve reiterated this many times but I’ll do it once more in stating that everything I have written in this journal is true from my real world experience. I was after the truth about women and this game as opposed to building a Super PUA legacy on this board as others might be fulfilled doing. All this being said, whether or not this journal or this conclusion is one you find captivating I hope you take solace knowing that at the very least you took the time to read something that is a true story.

I will start with providing a statistical breakdown of my 100 approaches for those who are numbers oriented. I realize to many this may seem unimpressive especially when there’s tons of Lay Reports/Field Reports out there describing One-Night-Stands and seduction of models who are 9’s and 10’s. Again all I can say is that at least I’m honest.

Final Statistics (*note I am still in contact with 3 girls I’ve met because of the approaches I made in this journal and 1 of them I am actively seeing. Numbers are subject to change)

Approaches 100

Numbers 62

Never answered my call 12

Flaked after I spoke with them once 10

Met up with after callling 15

Flaked after 1st Meeting 5

Saw a 2nd time 6

Saw a 3rd time 5

Kiss Close 6

Full Close 2 (1 girl from a direct approach and 1 girl who’s a friend of a direct approach. I didn’t count her initially but I wouldn’t have gotten her had I not opened the set)

Intangible Numbers

New Friends 2

Fake Phone Number 1

 

[Reyaj]

So what have I learned throughout this? I would say copious lessons…. Are there any that stand out more than the others do? I would note 3 profound truths (at least profound to me) are salient.

1.) You can be mechanically sound in your game and near flawless but the fact of the matter is whatever drama is going on in a girl’s life will often dictate how far it’s going to go at that particular juncture in time.

2.) Do not be outcome dependent/keep your emotions in check. We are all human and will naturally feel very high or very low based on series of events that happen. However if you wear your heart on your sleeve you’re going to be emotionally eaten alive. Its ok/normal to feel happy when something positive happens and its ok/normal to feel upset/hurt when something negative does. However if you are actively playing the field you need to make sure neither of these consume you or last substantially long because women’s feelings/actions metaphorically change like the wind.

3.) Be cool, calm, and collected at all times. Of course we are human and this is literally impossible. But by loading this frame as much as possible you will naturally envelop positive core traits that will not only make you attractive to women but will likewise keep you sane in what truthfully can be a grueling battlefield.

So now for specific tactics and findings

Blitzkrieg number closing can work and has worked. Even though a phone number is hardly the be all end all, its better than nothing and is a foot in the door for later follow up. By using a false time constraint and number closing you not only show confidence but you leave an aura of mystery to yourself. Both are potent traits for attraction.

Building rapport is critical. If you can’t do it in person do your best to do it over the phone and in person when you meet again. Rapport aka investment seems to be the only medicine for flakes.

C&F make good openers and good conversation. Just make sure you know how to rescind it when necessary.

Ask questions and listen to her answers. Have her elaborate on them to get conversation flowing. Girls love to talk about themselves.

Take a chance; you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

When you get digits if you wait too long (longer than a week I’d estimate) girls often don’t won’t bother with you.

Do not approach a girl from behind or tap her shoulder. Come in at a front angle or from the side.

Be confident; when you truly are confident you are not interdependent on outcomes from interactions with girls.

Using situational or observational comments is a good way to open a girl. Make you sure are confident, smile, and radiate good energy.

Avoid awkward situations if possible. They will kill her IL

Be social and friendly to everyone. This will make others naturally more receptive to your approaches.

If a girl cancels a date or doesn’t call you back don’t write her off if you are interested. Sometimes women like us literally have other obligations so be flexible. Don’t be a pushover either but if a girl seems genuinely sorry for cancelling or counter offers you should still hang in there. Still if it proves to be a roller coaster ride just relegate her to the back of your plate list but continue to be friendly.

If you experience Approach Anxiety (AA) wait for good position and just push yourself to talk to her. Once you are in her visual presence you will make yourself talk to her.

Timing on an approach is key. If you execute at the wrong time external factors may lead to your detriment.

Position on approach is key. If you are in an unfavorable position talking to her will be difficult and your body posture may demonstrate lower value.

Don’t ask a girl to dance verbally as an opener. This isn’t the 50s and this has not worked well for me.

“What’s your name” and “You are very pretty” are not good openers and have not worked well for me.

When speaking to a group make sure you split your attention among all the girls as equal as possible. This alphas you as well as helps you avoid the c-block.

If you want to approach a girl and are in her vicinity, don’t hesitate to talk to her when she notices you. If you do it demonstrates lower value.

Having a good wing/wings is very beneficial. The role they play in disarming your targets friends or even getting you into a conversation with your target is valuable.

Don’t appear needy, this clearly demonstrates lower value and is a big turn off to women.

Practice being friendly/flirting in all scenarios in possible. This will help you build it as a natural personality trait and you will do it more naturally when necessary.

Leaving voice mails hasn’t proved to be favorable. Send a follow up text if necessary. I leave a voice mail as a last resort.

You can run chat game with girls on the dance floor and acquire her phone number. I’ve done it successfully.

 

[Reyaj]

Do not waste more effort on a plate than she is worth. Only you can decide how much effort is too much based on what you get out of it.

Have balls but be sensible. I.g. Don’t be afraid to go for the girl you want but I wouldn’t do it if she’s with her steroid head boyfriend.

Girls that play too many games or are capricious don’t deserve too much effort or emotional investment. IMHO at least 

Even if things look good and IOI and IL are present never get your hopes up too fast. Girls change like the wind.

Don’t let a girl see you lose your cool. Vent somewhere else or do an activity to release frustration.

3S rule is Gold

Even if a girl puts your number in her cell it doesn’t mean she is less likely to flake.

Formula for getting the number: Open > False Time Constraint > Number Close

Bring up topics that you think she find interesting. Just don’t make it seem like you studied her.

Some girls look good 1 day and bad the next. Don’t disqualify them right away.

Smile and be light hearted.

Don’t make your approaches look planned but rather spontaneous.

Often if a girl is interested she will show some IOI.

Clubs are full of attention *****s. Don’t take it personally if you get rudeness.

After open initiate multiple thread routine. Do not be afraid to go for the number if you want it and don’t feel bad if you don’t get it.

Do not be outcome dependent.

Overanalyzing leads to frustration and is counterproductive.

Girls are all different with the timing of their texts. Don’t use it to determine their IL.

Bar flies, club hoppers, and binge drinkers are not worth emotional investment. If they choose that over you, NEXT!

Curiosity is powerful. Use it to your advantage.

All that matters is how a girl feels about you in the current time frame. You can’t use the past to rationalize why she may be acting shady.

You may not be attracted to a girl you’ve picked up after you see her again. This is ok and you shouldn’t force yourself to continue with it.

Both direct and indirect method work. In my experience indirect method has yielded better results yet my sample group is relatively small.

Talking about a girl’s nationality is great for flowing conversation. Try to become cultured.

Female friends of your target will often try to **** block. If you see it coming try to get the number asap and get out gracefully.

Don’t read into and overanalyze small details. Every girl is different. I.g. a girl calling you buddy or friend doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the FriendZone

Be patient with girls but always respect yourself.

Girls of all ratings will you find you attractive or not. Never take it personally.

If you feel there’s a chance you might not see a girl again before the night is over try and number close while you have the chance.

When girls are sarcastic or even use C&F on you it is perfectly normal and it does not mean FriendZone.

Some girls want you to be aggressive even if they don’t kino ping you or show overt IOI’s. Don’t be afraid to take a chance.

Make your kisses account. If you get a good kiss in and she ends it first that is fine, but don’t end it prematurely yourself just to have that satisfaction. It’s a detriment.

Do not appear like you are begging for a number or are needy.

Don’t be afraid to re-engage girls later in the night who have been dragged away by c-blocks. Again timing and position is crucial.

Sometimes the phone call seems to go well but the girl flakes and vice versa.

Be patient and do not text too quickly.

Don’t always take what girls say literally. What they say they want versus what turns them on can be different.

Girls often play games and are capricious. This is a fact, be calm, cool and collected.

Good phone game can build rapport and get a girl to meet you; even if the phone number was gotten without it.

Use Statements of Interest in a timely sincere manner and you can spike a girl’s IL in you.

Sometimes a girl can show all the signs of wanting to be kissed but then may not reciprocate when you actually go for it. Play it cool if that happens as if it doesn’t bother you and try again in the future.

All girls are different and expect different things.

Girls who are the bar can be approached and closed successfully by going next to them at the bar and talking to them from the side.

Come up with unique conversation dialogue that will make you stand out. I.g. Ask her for her middle name…

Girls that flake should be nexted or LJBF’d. Either way move on, there’s too many out there.

If you feel compelled to express hurt emotions to a woman, use humor.

Strike while the iron is hot using the right mechanics to score.

Some girls will make you play by their rules or they will next you. Only you can decide if its worth it.

Fundamental rules can be broken at times i.g. buying a girl a drink when you think it will make hooking up conducive. Use your best discretion.

Sincere comments from the heart can work. Make sure they are timely and not trite.

 

[Reyaj]

A little AFCism goes a long way but a lot gets you nowhere.

When making dance floor attempts be confident and smile.

When a girl hesitates with giving her number empathize with her and appear innocuous.

Girls that don’t hold a lot of eye contact still may be interested and vice versa. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Girls randomly texting you and saying positive statements after seeing or talking to them are IOI’s.

Girls can flake fast and without overt rhyme or reason despite time invested in you. Realize this and accept it.

A confident happy attitude is indispensible.

Girls of all ratings have different personalities. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Don’t invest emotions after kissing. Some girls will still play games even after sex.

Don’t burn bridges, you may not have to cross them again but why waste all that time and effort?

Even girls that show high IL flake for no rhyme or reason.

Don’t beat around the bush in making plans.

Control your emotions, don’t be controlled by them.

Some girls just sit conservative at the movies, don’t take it the wrong way or as a sign of disinterest.

If your arms touch during the movie and she doesn’t move hers away it is a good sign.

Be careful with C&F text messages. They can and are often misinterpreted.

Even though it can appear as if a girl is checking you out, when you approach her she may not be friendly or into you.

When a girl is giving you the number try and refrain from making a stupid comment. Sometimes little remarks make her regret it or give you a fake.

Car approaches with cheesy lines do not work.

Girls don’t have to return a compliment to you after you given them one, they still may be interested.

When you open a set you can end up number closing a different girl that the one you opened. Just be friendly to everyone.

No matter what happens, appreciate and embrace your effort. (Thanks Izza)

Sex or LTR declaration does not mean Game Over.

Expect and be ready for **** tests.

You have the right to be selective too.

You never know what can happen indirectly as a result of your approach. i.g. You end up getting with her friend at a later time even though her IL was low or it didn’t go anywhere.

Use your sexual energy to propel and motivate you. Never make excuses for your desire as a man – Ross Jeffries

Use leverage to approach a girl in a set. I.g. A 3 set has 2 girls involved in convo’s with other guy’s leaving the one neglected. You can move in using the other guys as leverage.

If you are with a wing who closes a friend of your target realize that whatever happens there may have a ripple effect on your dealings with your target. Make sure you communicate well with your wing.

Women feel how they feel. They often don’t understand their own emotions. – Bible Belt

When out with a girl and she mentions having to leave, this usually is an indicator of disinterest.

If you get the boyfriend line, laugh and smile graciously and say we can be friends. This line worked on a current plate I am spinning.

When you call a girl out on something they often will do the “spin doctor” be aware of this and try a gracious manner in extracting information from them.

Fluctuation of interest level in a girl is often outside your control and based on outside events in the girl’s life. –Bible Belt

By not burning bridges you leave open the possibility of hooking up with a girl later in the future (though this will not happen frequently).

Even girls that are 5’s have a stable of AFC’s. Hence the reason so many girls are stuck up and believe a guy should move mountains for them.

Even if a girl appears interested they could just be friendly by nature and if they don’t they could just be shy. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Making a girl comfortable with you is key to seduction.

Dressing nice makes you more confident and more attractive to the opposite sex. This is may be superficial but its true.


So all you have read above are the conclusions I have come to after this journey. One common theme you see is that of “Just go for it” and that is absolutely essential to becoming a true Master DJ in my humble opinion. It is with that I say I will be leaving this board so that I can transcend into exactly that, as a Master DJ. A lot of my goals have changed since I started this thread to where I see having a successful LTR that leads to a happy marriage is the ultimate goal. That being said I know that I still need to sew some wild oats before I do go down that road. However rest assured when I do find her she will be appreciated whole heartedly and it will be the type relationship I want to be in.

So thank you to everyone who has read this thread. I appreciate the interest, support, and criticism I received while embarking on this adventure. Even though I started this thread for me if by doing it I was able to give something back to everyone who wants to self-improve the DJ way, well then I am more than satisfied.

I leave you all with the following quote:

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

 

[Bewildered Soliloquy]

Good stuff, Jayer! Always enjoyed reading your stuff.

 

[K.Pez]

i read up a bit on your approaches... i have a lot of respect for you for finishing what you started. i have never even thought of approaching 100 women. wow!

seriously, this is really impressive and definitely a good source of motivation.

thanks for sharing it all

 

[Solomon]

good **** Jayer

Jayer this whole thread is amazing!!!
I'm so proud of you dawg!!
You have come so such a F-ing long way
your break down of what you have learned is amazing
SOme of it is basic stuff some of it is advanced but most of all it's all you!!

This thread needs to be archived man

So now that you done Jayer you gonna make a new journal or what?

Continous times to improvment is what it's all about man

once again great job, good stuff

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THIS!!

 

[Igetit!]

What's up Jayer,haven't seen you on the boards in a while man.
I read over your conclusion of your journal,and you got some pretty nuggets of wisdom in there. Some of it kinda threw me for a loop,but I trust your judgement,I mean hey,I'm not the one with the journal to refer to. Anyway,I looked over some of what you've learned,and I want to share my views and opinoins over a few of your comments.

A little AFCism goes a long way but a lot gets you nowhere.

This first one,well man,you lost me here. I don't understand it,but if you wrote it,then it must make sense to you. I wish you had of broken it down a little bit further though.

When a girl hesitates with giving her number empathize with her and appear innocuous.

I like this one man,I wish I had read this a loooong time ago. Sure would have helped.

Girls that don’t hold a lot of eye contact still may be interested and vice versa. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Girls randomly texting you and saying positive statements after seeing or talking to them are IOI’s.

Girls can flake fast and without overt rhyme or reason despite time invested in you. Realize this and accept it.

A confident happy attitude is indispensible.

Girls of all ratings have different personalities. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Good stuff here man. This is all stuff I've had to learn the hard way.

Don’t burn bridges, you may not have to cross them again but why waste all that time and effort?

This one is funny man. I remember at certain points in your journal where a girl would flake and a lot of the members would bhave to talk you out of telling the girl off. Sometimes you listen.other times your emotions got the better of you. But it seems you've grown some since those interactions. That's good to see.

Even girls that show high IL flake for no rhyme or reason.

Don’t beat around the bush in making plans.

Control your emotions, don’t be controlled by them.

Some girls just sit conservative at the movies, don’t take it the wrong way or as a sign of disinterest.

If your arms touch during the movie and she doesn’t move hers away it is a good sign.

Be careful with C&F text messages. They can and are often misinterpreted.

Even though it can appear as if a girl is checking you out, when you approach her she may not be friendly or into you.

When a girl is giving you the number try and refrain from making a stupid comment. Sometimes little remarks make her regret it or give you a fake.

Car approaches with cheesy lines do not work.

Girls don’t have to return a compliment to you after you given them one, they still may be interested.

Agreed. All valid points.

When you open a set you can end up number closing a different girl that the one you opened. Just be friendly to everyone.

I like this one Jayer. You have no idea how many times I've seen this one mistake being made on this forum over and over again.

No matter what happens, appreciate and embrace your effort. (Thanks Izza)

This is good. This'll help guys out when they're going through a rough patch.

Sex or LTR declaration does not mean Game Over.

Expect and be ready for **** tests.

Oh man,I can't tell you how many times I've made these specific mistakes. Over and over and over again. I had to beat my head against the wall like 10,000 times before I finally "got" what was going on. I finally "got it",hence my name,"Igetit!"

You never know what can happen indirectly as a result of your approach. i.g. You end up getting with her friend at a later time even though her IL was low or it didn’t go anywhere.

Use your sexual energy to propel and motivate you. Never make excuses for your desire as a man – Ross Jeffries

Use leverage to approach a girl in a set. I.g. A 3 set has 2 girls involved in convo’s with other guy’s leaving the one neglected. You can move in using the other guys as leverage.

If you are with a wing who closes a friend of your target realize that whatever happens there may have a ripple effect on your dealings with your target. Make sure you communicate well with your wing.

Wisdom of the ages!

Women feel how they feel. They often don’t understand their own emotions. – Bible Belt

Every guy here needs to read and understand this one.

Even if a girl appears interested they could just be friendly by nature and if they don’t they could just be shy. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Making a girl comfortable with you is key to seduction.

Dressing nice makes you more confident and more attractive to the opposite sex. This is may be superficial but its true.

All these are good,especially the one about making a woman feel comfortable. Attraction may get you to the door,but it's comfort that wins the game.

So all you have read above are the conclusions I have come to after this journey. One common theme you see is that of “Just go for it” and that is absolutely essential to becoming a true Master DJ in my humble opinion. It is with that I say I will be leaving this board so that I can transcend into exactly that, as a Master DJ. A lot of my goals have changed since I started this thread to where I see having a successful LTR that leads to a happy marriage is the ultimate goal.

All in all a good conclusion man. You've learned a lot,that's clear. So you're leaving the forum,huh? Well,if you feel you've outgrown it,or have already gotten what you came here for,then I guess I can see where you're coming from.
So you mentioned the "M" word(marriage). Well,I guess sooner or later all of us are going to be think about marriage at some point. Just whenever you do find this special girl,don't tell her about this journal!(Ha,ha.) .


Alright man,I've got to roll. Like I said,good conclusion to the journal. I'm just glad I was able to share in your journey to enlightenment,and even pick up a thing or two for myself.

Peace man.

 

[Reyaj]

Jayer this whole thread is amazing!!!
I'm so proud of you dawg!!
You have come so such a F-ing long way
your break down of what you have learned is amazing
SOme of it is basic stuff some of it is advanced but most of all it's all you!!

This thread needs to be archived man

So now that you done Jayer you gonna make a new journal or what?

Continous times to improvment is what it's all about man

once again great job, good stuff

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THIS!!

Thank you for the recent praise everyone. You should all know that being able to post about my experiences in this thread and have your support and feedback was an invaluable resource to me. It helped me keep focused on completing the journey when I may have become distracted for periods of time.

I will never stop trying to learn and improve, this I solemnly promise you. I think life is all about learning and self improvement. Challenge is what keeps us motivated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayer
A little AFCism goes a long way but a lot gets you nowhere.

This first one,well man,you lost me here. I don't understand it,but if you wrote it,then it must make sense to you. I wish you had of broken it down a little bit further though.

I'd be happy to explain anything further for you while i'm active on this board. You have been an ardent supporter of mine and have helped with the overall motivation I had to make sure this was completed.

What I mean is that there may be times where saying something "non-alpha" aka tender, or admitting you are wrong, or asking a genuine question is warranted and will get you further than doing nothing. Pride is important and you should keep it intact but by being flexibile at times you can gain a lot more than being arrogant and pompous. I.g. My experience with the south american girl who didn't kiss me the 2nd time I went out with her but who later did due to my patience and openess.

Good stuff Jayer... I hope you don't stop @ 100 -- this is a lifestyle, not a competition.

I couldn't say it better myself phat rabbit. I am going to leave this board as my reason for posting and being avid here was in the capacity as a student. I will continue to live the DJ lifestyle and fine tune it so that when I do return it will be in the capacity of a master guru who can truly enrich those in need with knowledge. I've already been getting with girls I've met way past the ones in this journal, and I'm still actively seeing a girl (who gave me the bf line initially) who I got at the tail end of this journal. I believe being humble is important so while I love the life I live right now I'm not anywhere near satisfied with where I still want it to go.

I will never be able so thank you enough for all the support I've gotten from this board. So I fittingly say Thank You...

 

[Exhumed]

Some of these tips I would never have thought of...and personally I found the main theme to be "Girls are unpredictable"

Also I feel like there should be a sticky for little things that get overlooked...like a friendly girl can be not interested while a shy girl will be, or that a girl's texting habits don't always tell you of her interest.

With one girl, I would text her and she would sometimes answer, sometimes text later or the next day and apologize, and sometimes not text back at all. But she would text me randomly throughout the day, and seemingly not just out of boredom... so at the time she was probably still quite interested...until i went complete AFC on her and f-ed it up Point is, certain intricacies of the game like the routines and approaches and such get so much focus while there are so many undocumented little things that you have to discover on your own...oftentimes the hard way

 

[Daydream Engineer]

Jayer i mentioned you as one of the cool kids on this forum at my FR thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159172

Keep up the good work, and keep inspiring others! You my friend are legendary!

 

[Reyaj]

Some of these tips I would never have thought of...and personally I found the main theme to be "Girls are unpredictable"

Amen brother.

Azu thanks for the praise. I wish you best of luck on your journey. No matter what don't lose sight of your goal and don't stop until you reach it.

 

[izza]

So what have I learned throughout this? I would say copious lessons…. Are there any that stand out more than the others do? I would note 3 profound truths (at least profound to me) are salient.

1.) You can be mechanically sound in your game and near flawless but the fact of the matter is whatever drama is going on in a girl’s life will often dictate how far it’s going to go at that particular juncture in time.

I agree. Also, I have found that if you can figure out what the drama is, you have a much better chance of riding the storm. I have said to people "let's get in touch after that" - and it's much more effective!

2.) Do not be outcome dependent/keep your emotions in check. We are all human and will naturally feel very high or very low based on series of events that happen. However if you wear your heart on your sleeve you’re going to be emotionally eaten alive. Its ok/normal to feel happy when something positive happens and its ok/normal to feel upset/hurt when something negative does. However if you are actively playing the field you need to make sure neither of these consume you or last substantially long because women’s feelings/actions metaphorically change like the wind.

I agree. Strong coping skills, sense of humor, and emotional supports are a big deal!

3.) Be cool, calm, and collected at all times. Of course we are human and this is literally impossible. But by loading this frame as much as possible you will naturally envelop positive core traits that will not only make you attractive to women but will likewise keep you sane in what truthfully can be a grueling battlefield.

So true. One interesting point about this that I think you know but I want to elaborate on: one of the best ways to demonstrate that you are calm and collected is to talk about things that would upset most people in a calm way. For instance, I often say in very calm tones that I feel embarrassed, or scared, or angry at such and such, or sad about this. I am not ashamed to do this because I am constantly demonstrating that I can talk about who I am and how I really feel calmly. I do the same when talking about sex - I never joke about sex, I talk about it with extreme seriousness. Because so few people have the courage to do this, it really stands out. I prove a lot about myself quickly. Great point.

So now for specific tactics and findings

Blitzkrieg number closing can work and has worked. Even though a phone number is hardly the be all end all, its better than nothing and is a foot in the door for later follow up. By using a false time constraint and number closing you not only show confidence but you leave an aura of mystery to yourself. Both are potent traits for attraction.

We've discussed this before - not my style, but I'm glad it works for you.

Building rapport is critical. If you can’t do it in person do your best to do it over the phone and in person when you meet again. Rapport aka investment seems to be the only medicine for flakes.

I agree. Can you explain to me how this jibes in your mind with the comment above? I'm just wondering how you see the two interacting in your opinion.

C&F make good openers and good conversation. Just make sure you know how to rescind it when necessary.

I especially like the rescinding part.

Ask questions and listen to her answers. Have her elaborate on them to get conversation flowing. Girls love to talk about themselves.

Take a chance; you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

When you get digits if you wait too long (longer than a week I’d estimate) girls often don’t won’t bother with you.

So true. These are common points, but worth knowing.

Do not approach a girl from behind or tap her shoulder. Come in at a front angle or from the side.

Some things are helpful, but with solid game should be irrelevant. In fact, I recommend challenging yourself by flouting the little rules. This seems like such a rule.

Be confident; when you truly are confident you are not interdependent on outcomes from interactions with girls.

Using situational or observational comments is a good way to open a girl. Make you sure are confident, smile, and radiate good energy.

Avoid awkward situations if possible. They will kill her IL

Be social and friendly to everyone. This will make others naturally more receptive to your approaches.

If a girl cancels a date or doesn’t call you back don’t write her off if you are interested. Sometimes women like us literally have other obligations so be flexible. Don’t be a pushover either but if a girl seems genuinely sorry for cancelling or counter offers you should still hang in there. Still if it proves to be a roller coaster ride just relegate her to the back of your plate list but continue to be friendly.

If you experience Approach Anxiety (AA) wait for good position and just push yourself to talk to her. Once you are in her visual presence you will make yourself talk to her.

Timing on an approach is key. If you execute at the wrong time external factors may lead to your detriment.

Position on approach is key. If you are in an unfavorable position talking to her will be difficult and your body posture may demonstrate lower value.

Don’t ask a girl to dance verbally as an opener. This isn’t the 50s and this has not worked well for me.

“What’s your name” and “You are very pretty” are not good openers and have not worked well for me.

When speaking to a group make sure you split your attention among all the girls as equal as possible. This alphas you as well as helps you avoid the c-block.

If you want to approach a girl and are in her vicinity, don’t hesitate to talk to her when she notices you. If you do it demonstrates lower value.

Having a good wing/wings is very beneficial. The role they play in disarming your targets friends or even getting you into a conversation with your target is valuable.

Don’t appear needy, this clearly demonstrates lower value and is a big turn off to women.

Practice being friendly/flirting in all scenarios in possible. This will help you build it as a natural personality trait and you will do it more naturally when necessary.

Leaving voice mails hasn’t proved to be favorable. Send a follow up text if necessary. I leave a voice mail as a last resort.

You can run chat game with girls on the dance floor and acquire her phone number. I’ve done it successfully.

So very very true - congratulations Jayer!!! I'll post more later. But phenomenal work. And thanks for the shoutout on the appreciating effort thing.

Ciao,

 

[izza]

Do not waste more effort on a plate than she is worth. Only you can decide how much effort is too much based on what you get out of it.

I agree, I am all about chemistry. If I don't have awesome chemistry with someone, I'm not that interested. Also, whenever I feel awesome chemistry, she tends to feel it too. That's the convenient part about being interested in chemistry.

Have balls but be sensible. I.g. Don’t be afraid to go for the girl you want but I wouldn’t do it if she’s with her steroid head boyfriend.

Good tip, I imagine you've tried this?

Girls that play too many games or are capricious don’t deserve too much effort or emotional investment. IMHO at least 

Great tip. I actually accept zero games (a sign of bad communication skills) and I like people who surprise me in a pleasant way, not an unpleasant one!

Even if things look good and IOI and IL are present never get your hopes up too fast. Girls change like the wind.

And so do men.

Don’t let a girl see you lose your cool. Vent somewhere else or do an activity to release frustration.

What situation came up that led to this lesson? I'd actually like to try losing my cool around a girl I was trying to pick up sometime. I've gotten really good at getting people to be on my team, I wonder what would happen.

3S rule is Gold

That's so true.

Even if a girl puts your number in her cell it doesn’t mean she is less likely to flake.

Great tip.

Formula for getting the number: Open > False Time Constraint > Number Close

Personally, I have excised all untruths from my game. But this is a common mentality and I respect it.

Bring up topics that you think she find interesting. Just don’t make it seem like you studied her.

Some girls look good 1 day and bad the next. Don’t disqualify them right away.

Smile and be light hearted.

Don’t make your approaches look planned but rather spontaneous.

My experiences have been different than these first three - but I respect your lessons. And hold on a second, when have you ever planned an approach? lol <3

Often if a girl is interested she will show some IOI.

Clubs are full of attention *****s. Don’t take it personally if you get rudeness.

A message from my lady friends: 1/4 women will be sexually assaulted lifetime, 1/5 will be raped. If a girl is rude, sometimes that's just because the last guy was a clingy or violent piece of !@#$%. Jayer is right - do not take this personally. And if a girl reacts this way, she may be interested but just scared. Or scared but doesn't know how to be safe and respectful at the same time. Do not take female anti-social behavior personally, they are just trying to stay un-assaulted to the end of the night. And if you ever see a guy disrespecting a girl, guys, DO SOMETHING. This hurts all of us. Good point, Jayer.

After open initiate multiple thread routine. Do not be afraid to go for the number if you want it and don’t feel bad if you don’t get it.

Do not be outcome dependent.

Yeah! I know how hard you've worked on these two. Good for you.

Overanalyzing leads to frustration and is counterproductive.

I believe most people think too little about things because they don't know how to think in a way that leads to inner peace and solutions. Would you define overanalysis for me? Vs. thinking "enough?"

Girls are all different with the timing of their texts. Don’t use it to determine their IL.

I've observed this as well.

Bar flies, club hoppers, and binge drinkers are not worth emotional investment. If they choose that over you, NEXT!

People who choose their friends over you: good. People who choose their addictions over you: risky.

Curiosity is powerful. Use it to your advantage.

All that matters is how a girl feels about you in the current time frame. You can’t use the past to rationalize why she may be acting shady.

Thank you!

You may not be attracted to a girl you’ve picked up after you see her again. This is ok and you shouldn’t force yourself to continue with it.

Thank you! And I can tell you earned that one.

Both direct and indirect method work. In my experience indirect method has yielded better results yet my sample group is relatively small.

Can you give me an example of both? I'm just trying to cull as much from your experience as possible.

Talking about a girl’s nationality is great for flowing conversation. Try to become cultured.

Jayer, I read this, and this is brilliant. Great point.

Don’t read into and overanalyze small details. Every girl is different. I.g. a girl calling you buddy or friend doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the FriendZone

Thank you!

Be patient with girls but always respect yourself.

YES!!! Jayer this one has a lot of wisdom.

Girls of all ratings will you find you attractive or not. Never take it personally.

It's all about chemistry.

Make your kisses account. If you get a good kiss in and she ends it first that is fine, but don’t end it prematurely yourself just to have that satisfaction. It’s a detriment.

Hehe, you dog, I like it.

Don’t always take what girls say literally. What they say they want versus what turns them on can be different.

I try to date women who are mature enough to articulate what they want.

Girls often play games and are capricious. This is a fact, be calm, cool and collected.

Men, particularly on this board, do too!

Good phone game can build rapport and get a girl to meet you; even if the phone number was gotten without it.

Yes!

Use Statements of Interest in a timely sincere manner and you can spike a girl’s IL in you.

YES YES YES!!!

Sometimes a girl can show all the signs of wanting to be kissed but then may not reciprocate when you actually go for it. Play it cool if that happens as if it doesn’t bother you and try again in the future.

I've asked what was going on, before. This has led to good discussions for me, which goes back to the second point you made.

Come up with unique conversation dialogue that will make you stand out. I.g. Ask her for her middle name…

This seems like a good tip. That said, anyone who has a really strong personality learns how to make plenty of material out of just normal every day life.

If you feel compelled to express hurt emotions to a woman, use humor.

I have always found it impresses women much more to just be blunt but fair. For instance, a girl made a mistake telling me where to meet and we ended up missing each other. I told her I feel annoyed but I'm sure she had a good reason for everything she did.

Strike while the iron is hot using the right mechanics to score.

Yah!

Some girls will make you play by their rules or they will next you. Only you can decide if its worth it.

If their rules match yours, then go for it! If they don't, see if you can negotiate something that works for both of you. Good tip. But if you can liberate a good woman, most rules disappear.

Fundamental rules can be broken at times i.g. buying a girl a drink when you think it will make hooking up conducive. Use your best discretion.

As they say, rules are crutches for the beginner. The masters just drop the rules and follow what feels right.

Sincere comments from the heart can work. Make sure they are timely and not trite.

That's pretty much my entire game - everything I do is from the heart. It's not always timely though and sometimes trite But always authentic.

 

[izza]

A little AFCism goes a long way but a lot gets you nowhere.

I agree. Again, people who master themselves do lots of things that are "AFC" and it's fine. Again, rules are for the beginners.

When making dance floor attempts be confident and smile.

Haha, good luck!

When a girl hesitates with giving her number empathize with her and appear innocuous.

Jayer, when I read this tip, I think I almost whizzed my pants. This is effing brilliant. My game is all about disarming women, making it clear that I want women at the same time as I AM ON YOUR TEAM. This is so genius. I think this tip would be worth all the time of following this thread alone. Thank you.

Can you give me an example of using it? I love this one. That is what dating should be like. This goes back to the 1/5, 1/4 statistics I gave earlier - show women you know how it feels to be a woman and they will trust you so much more. Great tip!

Girls that don’t hold a lot of eye contact still may be interested and vice versa. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

See the 1/4, 1/5 statistic.

Girls randomly texting you and saying positive statements after seeing or talking to them are IOI’s.

Most def!

A confident happy attitude is indispensible.

So true. Being happy is a prerequisite.

Girls of all ratings have different personalities. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

You can have good chemistry with anyone.

Don’t invest emotions after kissing. Some girls will still play games even after sex.

I avoid people who play games. I communicate openly and directly. If they can't do the same, I suggest friendship.

Don’t burn bridges, you may not have to cross them again but why waste all that time and effort?

A lot of wisdom in this one. I know you earned this one as well.

Even girls that show high IL flake for no rhyme or reason.

This one is sad.

Don’t beat around the bush in making plans.

So true.

Control your emotions, don’t be controlled by them.

Great tip. As an extra tip: demonstrate that you're in control of yourself by calmly expressing how you feel, even if it's "weak" feelings, even if it's "strong feelings". Expressing how you feel calmly and fairly shows incredible control.

Some girls just sit conservative at the movies, don’t take it the wrong way or as a sign of disinterest.

If your arms touch during the movie and she doesn’t move hers away it is a good sign.

A movie date? Really?

Be careful with C&F text messages. They can and are often misinterpreted.

Words of the wise!

Even though it can appear as if a girl is checking you out, when you approach her she may not be friendly or into you.

See 1/4, 1/5 statistic. Also, women aren't "supposed" to be interested in sex. Women are far less confusing once you realize the constraints they're under.

When a girl is giving you the number try and refrain from making a stupid comment. Sometimes little remarks make her regret it or give you a fake.

LOL - been there. I always say what I think so I say a lot of dumb things. Fortunately, I've gotten pretty good at taking them back.

Car approaches with cheesy lines do not work.

Jayer, you have really tried everything LOL.

Girls don’t have to return a compliment to you after you given them one, they still may be interested.

See girls aren't allowed to express sexual interest above.

When you open a set you can end up number closing a different girl that the one you opened. Just be friendly to everyone.

Done it! That's fun!

No matter what happens, appreciate and embrace your effort. (Thanks Izza)

You're awesome Jayer. I'm so glad you're starting to realize how amazing you are.

Sex or LTR declaration does not mean Game Over.

Aka she says "I'm in an LTR?"

Use leverage to approach a girl in a set. I.g. A 3 set has 2 girls involved in convo’s with other guy’s leaving the one neglected. You can move in using the other guys as leverage.

I like this one.

If you are with a wing who closes a friend of your target realize that whatever happens there may have a ripple effect on your dealings with your target. Make sure you communicate well with your wing.

True

Women feel how they feel. They often don’t understand their own emotions. – Bible Belt

This is true - and also, women aren't not as bad as men on this one!

When out with a girl and she mentions having to leave, this usually is an indicator of disinterest.

I've actually turned that into a make out session. But yeah, generally not so good.

If you get the boyfriend line, laugh and smile graciously and say we can be friends. This line worked on a current plate I am spinning.

My current reaction is usually: "Ewww, monogamy. Gross!" I'm not saying this is effective, it's just what I'm thinking at that moment.

When you call a girl out on something they often will do the “spin doctor” be aware of this and try a gracious manner in extracting information from them.

Can you explaint his a little more?

Fluctuation of interest level in a girl is often outside your control and based on outside events in the girl’s life. –Bible Belt

This goes back to tips one and two.

By not burning bridges you leave open the possibility of hooking up with a girl later in the future (though this will not happen frequently).

This has happened a lot for me. Most of the time, when I pick up women I almost expect that we're either going to click right away, or within 3-6 months. Know what I mean?

Even girls that are 5’s have a stable of AFC’s. Hence the reason so many girls are stuck up and believe a guy should move mountains for them.

... Can you explain this a little more? I'm not sure I buy this one.

Even if a girl appears interested they could just be friendly by nature and if they don’t they could just be shy. Don’t be afraid to go for it.

Keep in mind the reasons women don't express interest. Once you know these common fears women have, they are much less confusing.

Making a girl comfortable with you is key to seduction.

True. Diplomatic bluntness and good negotiating skills helps a lot here.

Dressing nice makes you more confident and more attractive to the opposite sex. This is may be superficial but its true.

I usually dress down to test them, improve my skills and so forth. But I respect this one.

So all you have read above are the conclusions I have come to after this journey. One common theme you see is that of “Just go for it” and that is absolutely essential to becoming a true Master DJ in my humble opinion.

So true.

A lot of my goals have changed since I started this thread to where I see having a successful LTR that leads to a happy marriage is the ultimate goal.

Ewww, monogamy!!

That being said I know that I still need to sew some wild oats before I do go down that road.

Now we're talking!

Thanks so much for posting these Jayer. And I really appreciate your taking the time to post your reflections about what you've learned. I will be directing people to this thread. There are so many great things here.

Best wishes - and if you do come back to the internet realm, try to find a better site than SoSuave, ok?

Best wishes,
Izza

 

[Reyaj]

Izza you have also been a very ardent supporter of mine so I don't mind addressing your questions either. As I am leaving this forum to truly focus on becoming the person I want to be I will not be checking in as much. I hope I can address your questions and points though Izza, its the least I can do for all your encouragement and support.

So your first question was; How does building rapport aka investment vibe with blitzkrieg number closing?

You probably thought this was oxymoronic but I meant them more are individual steps that are incrementally sequential. I'm saying that getting a phone is a "foot in the door" so to speak and that by having solid phone game you can build a girl's IL to meet you in person later. This is just 1 example of how you can game a girl. Obviously you can build rapport when you meet her by spending time talking to her, kino etc... I've done this also and its probably the more traditional approach. There's a lot of ways that work


You next ask that I provide an example of how not letting a girl see my lose my cool has helped. I can provide an example of how keeping my cool has helped and how losing my cool has been disasterous.

First the latter.... I was messing with this hot brazilian girl who was very "friendly" and talked to a lot of people when she went out. Now obviously this girl didn't have qualities I'd want in someone for an LTR but she was down right hot and fun to hook up with. So one time I saw her messaging a guy she met at a club whom she was just "friends" with... she did this in front of me and he asked her something about if she was going to go out somewhere the following night. Well I immediately jumped to conclusions and lost my cool. The next night when she didn't contact me I immediately thought she was lying to me and out with this other guy. I started texting her and I ended up somewhat telling her off... it turned out she was at home the whole night. Either way it shouldn't have mattered. As I knew she wasn't LTR material I shouldn't have made a big deal over it but this ended up with her not liking me anymore and getting scared off.

Now a recent example of how I kept my cool was with the last girl I got out from my approach journal. She had basically told me she was seeing someone and was very shady with her phone calling/texting.... I played it cool, didn't care... continued the on/off texting and one day I ended up getting her out... I ended up seeing her a few more times... she denied the kiss close at my first attempt... I kept cool about it.. acted like I wasn't phased... saw her again and finally broke it down... The old me would have over reacted and told this girl off but by being aloof and carefree I now have another plate I'm spinning

You said you want an example of indirect vs direct method...

Indirect Method is basically opening a girl about something not directed at hooking up. i.g. Do you know the score of the game, I can't see the tv

Direct Method is making your intentions known from the get go. i.g. I noticed you from across the room, I just had to talk to you....

Ironically a girl I am currently spending a lot of time with was acquired from direct method. Both can work

You next asked about my comment "even girls that are HB 5 have a stable of AFCs"

Now I have a feeling you may disagree with me on this... but what I've honestly found out in the field is that the majority of women are very stuck up... and basically expect a guy to do all the work in courting them... I see so many beautiful looking women with guys who are below average. I've gotten attitude from just as many below average looking girls as I've gotten from hot hot girls... Ive seen and know many guys hit on girls that are below average on the HB scale (i.g obeis girls) I know girls who always talk about guys hitting on them..

So my theory with this is that a lot girls are stuck up and expect guys to do all the work in courting them because they are so used to attention that it just inflates their ego.... This is why its so easy for girls to next and move on... They know that they will get hit on as surely as it will rain in a month.

So Izza I hope this helped answer your questions. Thanks again 4 all the support and encouragment.