Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Igetit!]

What's up Jayer,

Keep your head up man. You are improving,and I'm not just saying that,you really are. Imo,the date with the south american girl was a complete success.
Yeah,you had to play phone tag with her for a little while,but you got the date. The pizzaria girl,that shouldn't be a surprise to you. You said that originally she thought you were someone else. I think Rocky may have had a point about beating dead horses. I say just forget about them. There are a couple of reasons why. First,out of all of these girls that seem to have flaked in the past,when you send them text messages,how many of those contacts have turned into dates? None of them. Some of them even ask,"Who is this?".
All you accomplish by contacting them is making yourself feel bad. I know you probably think that by contacting them,that it might somehow turn into a date,but more than likely it isn't going to happen. It's time for a shakeup.
Something in your game has to change.Your routine for getting numbers is pure gold,so don't mess with that. It's after you get the number that a change has to be made. If you do the same thing over and over again,you'll get the same result over and over again. If you keep approaching the way you've been approaching,the girls will keep responding the way they've been responding. You've already proven that. Switch something,man.

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks for the input bud. I think it was a success also... but the date the next time I didn't get to Kiss close... and she didn't return my phone call yesterday until I texted her "good luck buddy ;" I didn't answer the call of course so I'm not really sure what other course of action I should take. I more or less contacted the dead plates cause I was bored. I did get a myspace friend out of it lol... but the girl is a player as are most I meet in the clubs.

I wish I knew what I had to switch but I'm at a loss..... Its like when I DHV they flake and when I contact too much as everyone says they flake.... I'm come to the conclusion that girls are just f$*(# up...... but maybe it does have something to do with my delivery.... I wish I knew what it was...?

 

[Igetit!]

What's up Jayer,

Hey man,don't lose focus. Remember what the goal is,and the goal is knowledge. It's not kissing or sex or even women. The goal is the knowledge to attract the women. Believe me,I know how easy it is to get distracted.
You said that the date with the south american girl was a success. I agree.
Now my question is,why? Why was it a success? What did you do with this girl that you didn't do with all the other girls who flaked? You said that this date was successful,but the next time you went out with her,you didn't get the kiss close. You're getting distracted again. Instead of focusing on kiss closes,I would be trying to figure out how you successfully got this girl to go out with you,not once but two times,without flaking! There is a solution to this problem. There is. Your date with the south american girl proves that. You did what was neccesary to get her to go out with you. You did it. You just don't know what you did to cause her to go out with you instead of flaking. So the solution is there. In fact,it has been all along,it just has to be identified. I think it's great if you get the kiss close,however,don't let it or the lack of one get you off the track from the whole purpose of these 100 approaches.

Anyway,I looked over your post of the approach of the south american girl.
I wanted to compare it to some of the other approaches to see what you did differently with this girl as opposed to all the other girls that flaked. And believe it or not, I think I may have found something. I'm not really sure if this is the missing piece to the puzzle,and I may be way off base,but I noticed a similarity between two approaches in which the girls actually called you repeatedly or responded to your attempts to contact them.

The first approach was the south american girl,and the other one was an approach you posted about on 5-30-08. Go and look at the approach,and you'll notice that what you did with one of the girls is exactly what you did with the south american girl. And I mean exactly. What you did was you had a higher level of comfort with these two girl than with some of the others. The girl from 5-30-08 told you that she had some sort of test that she had to take. And what was your response? "Yeah,I've taken that test before." Bam! An immediate connection. Ok,now look at your post about the south american girl. When she told you where she was from,what was your response? "Really? Hey,me too!". Bam,instant connection. I found that for some reason,these two girls seemed to hang around longer,and call you more than all the other girls. Was that because of the higher level of comfort?
Hey,I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. I just found it odd that in the approaches with these two girls,the two girls who seemed to contact you without you always having to call them first,there was more comfort in the approach. Just something to consider. Peace man.

 

[TheManlyMan]

I don't normally post on the forums, or read them, but from time to time I come through and read a post like this for a bit of inspiration. I do what I can to offer some help too so here goes...

When I worked at the bank I used to take really late lunches - like 3-4 in the afternoon. During these times I'd go to damned near empty restruants or a deli with a couple of empty tables. Now regardless of who it was sitting at that one occupied table I made it a habit to go over and sit at their table. Breaking that comfort zone for myself and really pushing myself to be more social (I'm a huge introvert outside of work/school). I used one opener a bit more than others because I found it funny - it got a chuckle, a wierd laugh, and a smile, so before I give it - take note that it will not make you Captain Cool right out the gate.

*1-2 tables occupied in a large setting where there are many other tables to be taken - find the people or person you want to sit with and approach with a smile (of course)*

"This place is packed, I just can't find a seat (wait for the smile, maintain eye contact) how would you feel about me joining you?"

Asking someone how they feel about something is a LOT safer than asking for a yes or a no. Considering how much more inclined we are to say no than yes, asking someone how they feel about something often produces a more favorable result. Humans are very prideful, no one ever wants to admit being vulnerable, or uncomfortable - so asking people how they felt about your invasion leaves them to work out their conflictions later as their automatic response would be natural.

Try it sometime if you'd like. Also take note that I only gave you one line - I can't in any way predict responses or script/rehearse conversations, so I call my approach to approaching the ever popular KISS method.

 

[Reyaj]

What's up Jayer,

Hey man,don't lose focus. Remember what the goal is,and the goal is knowledge. It's not kissing or sex or even women. The goal is the knowledge to attract the women. Believe me,I know how easy it is to get distracted.
You said that the date with the south american girl was a success. I agree.
Now my question is,why? Why was it a success? What did you do with this girl that you didn't do with all the other girls who flaked? You said that this date was successful,but the next time you went out with her,you didn't get the kiss close. You're getting distracted again. Instead of focusing on kiss closes,I would be trying to figure out how you successfully got this girl to go out with you,not once but two times,without flaking! There is a solution to this problem. There is. Your date with the south american girl proves that. You did what was neccesary to get her to go out with you. You did it. You just don't know what you did to cause her to go out with you instead of flaking. So the solution is there. In fact,it has been all along,it just has to be identified. I think it's great if you get the kiss close,however,don't let it or the lack of one get you off the track from the whole purpose of these 100 approaches.

Anyway,I looked over your post of the approach of the south american girl.
I wanted to compare it to some of the other approaches to see what you did differently with this girl as opposed to all the other girls that flaked. And believe it or not, I think I may have found something. I'm not really sure if this is the missing piece to the puzzle,and I may be way off base,but I noticed a similarity between two approaches in which the girls actually called you repeatedly or responded to your attempts to contact them.

The first approach was the south american girl,and the other one was an approach you posted about on 5-30-08. Go and look at the approach,and you'll notice that what you did with one of the girls is exactly what you did with the south american girl. And I mean exactly. What you did was you had a higher level of comfort with these two girl than with some of the others. The girl from 5-30-08 told you that she had some sort of test that she had to take. And what was your response? "Yeah,I've taken that test before." Bam! An immediate connection. Ok,now look at your post about the south american girl. When she told you where she was from,what was your response? "Really? Hey,me too!". Bam,instant connection. I found that for some reason,these two girls seemed to hang around longer,and call you more than all the other girls. Was that because of the higher level of comfort?
Hey,I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. I just found it odd that in the approaches with these two girls,the two girls who seemed to contact you without you always having to call them first,there was more comfort in the approach. Just something to consider. Peace man.

It's all about gaining knowledge is right. If I keep the frame of "there is no such thing as failure, only direction" then I'll feel better. Thanks for looking through my thread for those congruent examples. Lol that funny thing is I actually told that girl I took the same test that I was the same nationality as she is... just like I told this current one (half anyway) lol..... Sometimes thats helped sometimes it hasn't mattered.... But in any case that girl flaked after I waited patiently about a month to meet up with her.... a whole nother ball of wax as she was American and this girl is directly from south america. But anyway thinking about it I basically DHV'd to get this girl out... at least the first time. The books would have said to next after she stood me up with that lame excuse.... but I basically decided that I wouldn't make this girl a priority... so after that Thursday she called me on Sunday to apologize but I didn't answer... she called twice.... I called her back like on Tuesday and made it seem like I was real busy with stuff and had to go.... I then told her to call me the next day which she did but I didn't answer.... I then called her back days later and made a date for that week and got her definite address, went out with her, hooked up..... and you know the rest after that which brings us to the current

So she hasn't called me back at all and I haven't called her.... I really don't intend to... It just seems like with Hot Girls (7 or above) you have to play by their rules or they could care less cause of their stable. Hell even as DonGorgon I believe said, even HB 5's have a stable of dudes.....

Girls have the leverage with power... thats my current conclusion. Still I won't allow myself to be treated with disrespect.....

I sent the south american girl the text of "good luck buddy " she called me back within 30 secs and I didn't answer. No contact since this happend which was on Monday......



I told off the pizzera chick today.... we had a massive text message war.... she removed me from her myspace which is why I sparked it.... I know it wasn't worth it but whatever. She claimed I lied to her saying I met her in the club... but thats not true she just assumed it was me I never said anything. Its not my fault she is a stupid pot head who can't remember who she gave her # too...

oh and that airline girl stopped texting me too... but by the looks of her myspace updates it looks like she met someone... she put things like smitten and feeling in love etc.... she's gaining weight anyway lol


I'm out for now!

 

[Bible_Belt]

It just seems like with Hot Girls (7 or above) you have to play by their rules or they could care less cause of their stable. Hell even as DonGorgon I believe said, even HB 5's have a stable of dudes.....


Every attractive woman can have a stable if she is savvy enough. I just tease them about it, and don't ever get jealous or clingy. That separates you from all of the other guys. The girl asleep in my bed right now has a giant stable of AFC admirers and exes. I have called it her "stable of losers." I just make fun of them. If any of the stable were that great, then she would be with that guy.

 

[Reyaj]

Yeah I have to work on that I guess..... Honestly it seems being cool calm and collected may be the best philosophy..... but it really just seems like its a rationilization for playing the game on her terms...

Example: Chick stood me up.... I let her know I didn't appreciate it but in a calm collected way.... she ended up calling me days later... I continued by cool demeanor and didn't bring it up again like I was unphased. We ended up going out and I hooked up...

but now the same thing sort of happend (girl not calling me back for like 8 hours later because I sent a follow up text telling her "good luck buddy "

Well I didn't call her back... and she hasn't since... maybe she will call me and maybe she won't... maybe if she does and I act unphased I may be able to get her out again.... but do you see its on her terms???? Its not when I want to go out or when I dictate

They have power man..... There used to be a time when just walking up to a girl and asking her out was enough for even an average guy to score a hottie. Now even attractive guys have to get lucky with chicks and their inflated egos...

 

[DonGorgon]

Honestly it seems being cool calm and collected may be the best philosophy..... but it really just seems like its a rationilization for playing the game on her terms.....

^^^^Perfectly stated... Ah yes seems this game is turning you into a philosophical intellectual of epic proportions and that is good... Cause now you can look at these situations and see the lies the assumption and the truth.

Women do have power due to having more options and not having to chase
We can only hope to have half as many options as an average girl... Those are undeniable facts... Sooo we need to gather as many option/plates as possible and never really care about any of them any more than they care about us.

 

[Reyaj]

^^^^Perfectly stated... Ah yes seems this game is turning you into a philosophical intellectual of epic proportions and that is good... Cause now you can look at these situations and see the lies the assumption and the truth.

Women do have power due to having more options and not having to chase
We can only hope to have half as many options as an average girl... Those are undeniable facts... Sooo we need to gather as many option/plates as possible and never really care about any of them any more than they care about us.

That's what I'd assess man. Unfortunately its easier said than done. Even still if I have a girl that I like call me or show me some kind of IOI I naturally get a good feeling inside me and become hopeful... it seems to be a natural calibration.

Any advice you can share on how you frame your interactions with girls and your emotions would be awseome!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Women do have power due to having more options and not having to chase
We can only hope to have half as many options as an average girl... Those are undeniable facts...

ok, so then don't date an average girl. Most women have low self-esteem and do not realize how many options they have, so then those options might as well not exist.

 

[Reyaj]

yeah south american hb never called me back. She's probably being entertained by her stable...

The chick that I was able to got on myspace that gave me the most IOI the same night I met the girl at the pizzeria... I texted her today something simple about the weather... she responded like 20 mins later acknowleding it... then she asked me where I was from. I texted her back letting her know and also saying that it wasnt close to her family (I remembered her saying this to me) but she didn't respond after that...

 

[Reyaj]

so I called the south american hb tonight just for the hell of it... no answer and I didn't leave a vm... lol whatever

 

[Reyaj]

Tried calling the party girl yesterday afternoon and got no answer. Followed up with the text of "I guess you're not a phone person lol" nothing... I guess I'll have to try her one day when she is drunk late night lol

I hope to do some more approaching this weekend

 

[Reyaj]

Not much to update here... I went out last weekend and opened a set by asking about a football game on tv.. pulled a switch while my friend came into the set. The convo went well but I asked her what made her come to this place and she said her bf showed it to her a few days ago.... After that I was turned off and didn't think it would be worth it to go for the #.. I didn't feel in an AMOG mood I guess... either that or maybe I do have bf respect

Oh that party chick.. never responded... I sent her a message on myspace letting her know my pics were public... never responded..... who the hell knows... I think she didn't like the area I'm from to be honest...

 

[DonGorgon]

Not much to update here... I went out last weekend and opened a set by asking about a football game on tv.. pulled a switch while my friend came into the set. The convo went well but I asked her what made her come to this place and she said her bf showed it to her a few days ago.... After that I was turned off and didn't think it would be worth it to go for the #.. I didn't feel in an AMOG mood I guess... either that or maybe I do have bf respect

Oh that party chick.. never responded... I sent her a message on myspace letting her know my pics were public... never responded..... who the hell knows... I think she didn't like the area I'm from to be honest...

Remember most women do cheat .. their "boyfriend" is just the dude they place more emotional requirements on... They usually F the fun carefree guys from work also... Women will use their boyfriend as an issue only if they dont wanna F you...

 

[somebody2]

congrats!~!!!!!

 

[Reyaj]

Remember most women do cheat .. their "boyfriend" is just the dude they place more emotional requirements on... They usually F the fun carefree guys from work also... Women will use their boyfriend as an issue only if they dont wanna F you...

I know... I've overcome this line before but it was usually when I went for the number. This girl mentioned it our casual conversation so it seemed legit. I guess if she was interested she wouldn't have said it regardless... unless i just asked the wrong question in which she gave an honest answer to... oh well whatever.....

 

[Reyaj]

So its been a short while since I updated this thread. Reason being I've been hooking up with this girl I met (not through these approaches) still I managed to finally go out last weekend. I made 3 approaches and got 1 number out of them. Here is how it went down;

I went into this bar lounge in the city... It was mostly dudes but there were 2 isolated 2 sets... 1 of them was at the bar and the other was against the wall. The problem was both sets were heavily engaged in converstion and I was waiting for the right moment to move in when the was a pause. It seemed like it never was going to happen. But I decided to go after the set at the bar, a blonde and a brunette, HB 7 and 8.

So there was a tiny bit of space next to the brunette who was sitting at the bar. I kind of squeezed in there and asked the bartender for water... the girl was still talking to her friend and not really paying attention to me even though I was right there. The tv was over the bar with the Cubs and Dodgers playing... so I just go right into the ear of the brunette at my right...

Me (smiling): Hey do you if this game is live right now or is it from earlier?
HB 7 (turning to me): I have no idea I don't follow baseball
Me: Ohhh thats too bad I'm a big Dodger fan.. and I want to see if they win
HB 7: yeah I really have no idea...
Me: Thats alright... so whats your name?
HB 7: I'm HB 7 and you?
Me: I'm Jayer nice to meet you (she put her hand out)
Me: Do you live here in this city?
Her: Yeah I live blah blah blah bh and you?
Me: guess....
Her: I have no idea... tell me
Me: I'm from blah blah.. where are from originally?
Her: xxxxxx
Me: ohhh you people are the worst
Her: what! haha where are you from
Me: blahaha
Her: you people suck... well lets agree that people from xxxx suck even more
Me: Yeah thats the truth
Me: Are you Italian?
Her: haha no I'm not...
Me: you look it where are you from?
Her: I'm from vzla
Me: hahaha I'm half (a lie)
Her: really what part
Me: xxxxxx
Her: wow my grandfather lives there....
Me: So do you know anywhere else cool to go around here.. its my friends bday.... (put hand on her shoulder)
Her: you can try blah blah blah blah they are down the block
Me: ok cool well I better get going, but we should talk more let me give you a call
Her: ok
Me: (pull out my cell) what is xxx area code haha
Her: no... its xxx... just give me your phone

She puts her number in... I kiss her on the cheek and I walk away... The only thing is my friend was working her friend next to her and he stayed in about 5 more minutes before I left and he closed her...... I texted her when I left the place saying it was nice meeting her and she texted me back saying "you too"

We went to another bar... I approached an HB 7 AW who was texting on her phone.. she was drunk as she was talking right into my ear.. I started kinoing touch her shoulder and rubbing it... I told her to text me.. .and she said she would but then she got buyers remorse and said she had to go find her friends and said she'd be back... I said it was crowded so she should give me her number but she didn't... I guess my desperation showed... ok whatever...

Next girl I saw with a razr phone who was texting... I moved right in

Me: omg is that a razr phone?
Her: hahah dont make fun of me
Me: I cant believe anyone still has that...
Her: (hits me playfully) shut up!
Me: whats your name where from blah blah blah

I tell her she should text me.. and she's like "I'd rather talk to you"

So I get out my phone to take her number... and she gives me the area code (here is where I ****ed up) i was like where the hell is this area code. She said she is from Ohio and moved here but still kept the phone number.... I was like Ohio are you serious... I said this all playfully but she got buyers remorse and ended up giving me a fake number... I knew it was fake cause after she gave it to me she said good luck! and laughed and walked away....

The hot spanish girl that i havent talked to in months called me out the blue yesterday asking if I wanted to go to a concert with her.. as I already had plans with another plate I told her I couldnt. She said she'd call me back in 10 mins and I told her to just call me tomorrow as I was leaving.... lol...

Sorry I had to type this rant fast but I have to go

Approaches 90
Numbers 54

 

[Reyaj]

So I called the vzla girl last night who it actully turns out is Jewish. She answered and remembered who I was... and was relatively friendly.... we talk about banal topics and I had actually interrupted her studying as she said she had a test on wednesday. She then finally said she had to go back and study but if I'm ever in the area to let her know but said she wouldn't be free till after Thursday due to the Jewish holiday... I said she could call me whenever she wanted and seemed apathetic towards that but we said bye and that was it.... So I may text her tomorrow and maybe see if I can set up some weekend plans with her... We'll see I guess.

 

[Reyaj]

lol like literally a second after I typed above she randomly texted me saying "it was nice talking to you, call me if you want to do something this weekend"

I guess I'll respond with a joke asking if its ok to call before yom kippur