Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Reyaj]

Thanks SickAgain. I realize I really need to be more patient and not invest my feelings in girls so quickly.... I think I get my hopes up too soon and I inetivably get crushed. Still I can't help feeling good when I get chicks responding to me.... The facts of life are though that girls are very flaky and the best thing for my confidence is to not take it personally and move on.

L777

Give me a few examples of how you ONS girls at clubs. Just the dialogue and what you did etc... Here in the states at least where I'm from it seems difficult, maybe England is easier...?


So let me update on my follow up to the weekend approaches.

The first girl.. the HB 7 where her friend shot down my friend. I basically texted her the same night after we met but she never responded. I then followed up with a call 3 days later (day after memorial day) but no answer. I sent a numeric page to call me back but she didn't. So yesterday just for the hell of it I texted her "u know just because your friend didn't like my friend doesn't mean u have to take it out on me" well she responded back saying "lol are you going to be at the beach this weekend" I responded back over an hour later "yeah I should be" there was no response so a little later I texted "hopefully you will pick up when I call lol" No answer.... Like I said I'm sure her friend C-blocked the situation and since this girl was cute she met tons of other guys but whatever... I'll keep my cool with it

So next girl was the one that said she had a bf and I jokingly told her I didn't believe her and she ended up giving me the digits. Well I also sent her a text that night to which she didn't respond. I called 3 days later and it just went right to voice mail. I left a numeric page never got a call back. I texted it the other day saying "I guess you're not a phone person lol" but nothing...

Next follow up was the girl who I jokingly said was 19 and she hesitated before giving me her number using that as an excuse. Well I did my text after we met to which I got no response. I called 3 days later and got her voice mail. I sent a numeric page but got no response. I sent the text yesterday "I guess you're not a phone person lol" but no response

Ok so the next girl was the girl that said she was seeing someone but I told her we could be friends and she said her current man was making her angry etc... so I texted her the night we met and she responded back with "it was nice meeting you too. talk to you soon have a great night"
So I called her 3 days later like I did all the others but I got her voice mail. I sent a text a little bit later saying "tried calling before " Well she responds about an hour later "hey jayer! sorry i missed your call its been a crazy day between work and studying for this test and im going to get dinner with some friends and then going to sleep cause im so tired can we talk tommorow" I texted back a bit later saying "sure give me a ring tomorrow btw I took the same test u are studying for" She texted me back saying "what did you get" Well I responded back the next day saying "I did alright to get into where I needed to but I don't remember lol" Well she responds back a bit later "thats cool, I am trying to do the same but if i do great Ill try and go to yale or harvard lol.." I respond back like an hour or so later "thats cool. I am sure you will do well you seem like a very smart girl. We'll talk about it more when you call me later " Well she never responded and she never called me!

Now I'm not really sweating it cause I know she is seeing someone... so rather than get upset I just tried to keep a level head and realize I need to be patient with this one and just hang around until there is a moment to strike... So anyway I texted her the next day saying "so I guess you're not a phone person lol" She responds back quickly "lol I actually hate texting i just fel asleep early after the long weekend" I texted her back hours later saying "so what are you up to today" Well she didn't respond until about 5 hours later or so but it was long "she's like i worked all day tehn going to dinner with friends and then watching sex and the city movie etc.." I responded back a little later saying I played sports with friends etc... she responded back saying to enjoy my night. I will try and call her tomorrow and see what happens.

Ok so next girl is the one that works by me. She didn't respond to my text that I sent that night either. I did my follow up call on tuesday with the others but got her voice mail. I did a numeric page. Well a few minutes later I get a text from her "Who is this" I respond back "Its Jayer we met on Saturday" She responds back quickly "oh Hey! Whats up!" I respond back "just chillin. figured I'd call you to talk for a bit" Well no response from her after that! lol typical right

So like the others I texted her the next day early saying "i guess you're not a phone person lol" She responds back at like midnight saying "haha no its not that Ive just been working like crazy had a double" I didn't respond but may send one out today.

I also for the heck of tried stimulating some old plates I didn't burn my bridge with.... I texted the HB 7 Arab plate and the HB 7 College Sorrority girl "how's it going " Well the Arab plate responds fast saying she lost her phone and didn't who this is was. I told her it was a great guy she met. She kept respondoing asking me to fill her in but I left her hanging. THe sorrority girl responded back at like midnight saying "sorry for responding so late. how are you" I responded to her this morning saying u must be at your beach house. She responded back saying she works during the week but is there only on weekends. I think I am going to text her in a bit and say that I'll call her soon and we should hang out.. I'll also text the bartender girl (the one that worked double shifts turns out she's a bartender and see whats up)

TOmorrow I'll try and make some phone calls to the other broads and see what happens. The chick I thought was 19 and the girl that said she had a boyfriend are definitel flakes... The airline girl did actually text me yesterday saying she got back earlier. We traded a few texts back and forth in which she took over an hour on some and was quick on others. She invited me out to have drinks with her friends via text but I told her I had to work early. I will call her in a little to see whats up and maybe make plans....

 

[SickAgain]

I wouldn't do a follow up with a text if you get voicemail. It's known to show a little desperation. I think texts are cool as long as you don't have conversations using them, then it's just weird when you speak on the phone.

I would try calling, then if they don't pick up call a day or two later and set up a meeting. Try that out and see how it works instead of the texting game.

 

[HalfAddict]

Personally I'd drop the numeric page.

three attempts to contact in a short period of time?

 

[El Jefe]

Personally I'd drop the numeric page.

three attempts to contact in a short period of time?

x2 . . . I think you should too..


Also, what is a flake?

 

[tihash]

Jayer, your thread is an inspiration!

I especially liked how you overcame the boyfriend objection in your recent post. Well done. You and she can be "friends" until the break up even if she is an honest girl and won't cheat. Gave me some new perspective on things.

 

[Reyaj]

Jayer, your thread is an inspiration!

I especially liked how you overcame the boyfriend objection in your recent post. Well done. You and she can be "friends" until the break up even if she is an honest girl and won't cheat. Gave me some new perspective on things.

Thank you so much. Its definitely a roller coaster ride let me tell you. Its hard to not have emotions get invested. With this girl with the bf.. she's been responsive to my texts when I sent them... but I haven't contacted any of the girls since I believe Thursday. I'm going to make some follow up calls/texts depending on what happens.

I'll admit I'm a little messed up right now because I had just absolute bad luck with the airline girl over the weekend. I'll explain in my follow up... but I basically her IL up and now because of bad luck and timing it may result in a flake......

On a side note.... I did text the HB 7 arab girl and the HB 7 sorroroity president girl Friday.... I texted the sorrrority out of state college girl saying "Ill give you a call soon, we only got to see each other briefly before you left and we should go out sometime" She responded back fast this time saying "sounds good, hope you are having a great day too!" I texted the arab plate saying "did u finally figure out who this is yet " she responded back "yea jayer lol" I'm like how did u know and she is like "i wrote all my numbers down on a piece of paper just in case"

That was that.........

I'm going to post back with the recap of the airline girl along with the follow ups I'm going to do to the plates from last week. Right now it looks dismal...... and I didn't get any more new approaches in because of the way it set my mood. It is so hard for me not to be outcome dependent.... I seem to instinctly invest emotions into my interatctions with plates without even realizing it. ........

 

[Reyaj]

I just typed a whole long feedback on what happend with everything and my damn internet explorer crashed!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so pissed....

 

[DonGorgon]

This thread has culminated wonderfully.. It really shows what the average man's life is like day to day trying to mate .... I wish a female member would do a report about how it is for them so we can compare and contrast...

 

[Reyaj]

DonGorgon you are so right. Sometimes it makes me depressed so see how difficult society makes all this. Nonetheless we all must play on. Since I typed up this long feedback report yesterday only to have my browser crash I am going to summarize very quick

Most of the girls I met 2 saturdays ago flake. The one who was a bartender and worked by me was sending me texts back every now and again but asked for my myspace which I gave to her. It was set to private anyway but I guess she didn't like the pic even though it was small. I texted her c&f to at least add me before she makes a decision on me like that but for the most part she ignored me. blah whatever... I actually did get a fake number also from one of the girls that said she had a boyfriend which I thought I overcame... so I'll have to readjust my results. I texted the HB 7 girl saying "are all girls where you are from stuck up" she stopped responding to my calls and basically flaked cause her friend didn't like mine so whatever... I never had the bridge to burn it...

Ok but the other girl that was seeing someone... she has been very responsive to answering my texts but never seemed to answer when I called her. I'd wait days in between at times... and the last time she texted me back after seeing my call saying she'd been working like crazy but would call me later if possible. She never did of course... so I waited a day and yesterday texted her with some c&f "So what do u think will happen first.. we'll have an earthquake or we'll talk on the phone lol" She responded back saying she would call me tonight and admired my persistence which was rare in these days which was yesterday and youk now what... she did!!! I didn't get the call though cause I was out but she left a voice mail saying she was very tired and was going to bed.... I texted her back later saying sorry i missed her call and we would talk toomorrow. She texted back a little later saying her mom woke her up but we would talk tomorrow cause she was going back to bed.... Thats where it stands now....

The airline girl well this was a whole long summary I wrote yesterday so now I'm going to recap it as simple as possible. Was responsive to my texts though at times it took long to respond other times it did not, always answered my calls and talked to me, I made plans to get coffee with her last saturday, she didn't make a lot of eye contact and talked low... I used c&f to open her up, i ended the date first, ended up bumping into her later that night while I was sarging and it was akward we both went our own ways with our friends, she stopped using "dear" in her texts to me but still answered the phone when I called her the next day before she left even though she didn't call me which I said to. She did text me late yesterday after she returned from her recent trip, I traded a few texts back and forth... and we'll see where it goes from here

 

[Reyaj]

Adjusted Numbers due to the fake

Approaches 72
Numbers 44

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Well done, Jayer!

 

[onyx]

even though its taken you 3 years, I doubt the average guy would get 44 numbers over that period, not bad man well done

 

[izza]

even though its taken you 3 years, I doubt the average guy would get 44 numbers over that period, not bad man well done

I don't know whether or not that's true, anyway, life is not a competition against anyone else. It has been tough for me to learn to say fvck the average guy. In life our only competition is ourselves. By that standard, I think Jayer is doing wonderfully, especially in comparison to where he was when he began.

Although Jay, I think you's gots to learn to some self-calming techniques (aka breathe, brotha!! ), what you have accomplished so far is great. And that is worth celebrating in my book.

Izza

 

[Reyaj]

I definitely am happy as far as where I was and where I am now although I can't help but want more. Even though those numbers sound like a lot what they've really resulted in are a bunch of flakes, a lay, and some make outs. I think 100 approaches is a good enough sample pool to make some real determinations. Just some additional reporting with the plates

Airline Girl - I decided to play it cool and not cool or text her yesterday.... well to my surprised around 9:30pm I got a text from her "what's up dear" well I wait over an hour and respond saying I had a busy day and ask her what she was up to. She said she was out at a bar with her friend and said she might have to leave tomorrow to travel somewhere else. I didn't respond but will call her in a little bit to see whats up.

Girl who is seeing someone but I gave her the friend line - Well she called me last night and we finally connected. We had a nice conversation probably over a half hour talking about the basics and she seemed really friendly. I ended the convo first saying I was tired but suggest we get together for a drink or coffee sometime and she said "just let me know" and that was that. We'll see if she is responsive to my follow up. Since she will be at the beach this weekend I may just send a friendly text sometimes and follow via phone Sunday.

I will also attempt to call the out of state college girl who is president of her sorrority and the hb 7 arab plate. Both of which have semi flaked but are responsive to my texts. We'll see what happens with that.

Thanks 4 all the support as always!

 

[Reyaj]

Questions

Girls that are stuck up or not receptive when you approach them initially; should you even bother?

Girls that say to find them later when asking for their phone numbers, or who say they don't give it out right away or easily; Should I just move on or actually waste time re-engaging them for it later on?

Should focus be made only on targets with positive body language ie: smiling, happy, or just approach everyone and everything?!@?!?@

Should one always flirt? Make it part of your personality and flirt with everyone everywhere?

If you get a girls number and she spots you talking to another girl that same night, does this negatively affect you?

How do you deal with plates that don't respond to phone calls but that text all the time???

When approaching a girl in a set and they have a friend trying to c-block you... should you try and get her number asap and bail?

Is direct method better than indirect? Ie: Hey you are beautiful I just had to talk to you...

Should you always go for the number and not care about anything else?

Does masturbating too much effect your game?

Should you make statements about yourself based on her response? ie: Her: I like ice cream "I live in a place with a lot of ice cream shops"

Are lack of IOI's just games and not disinterest?

Should you dictate plans and always put your needs and idea of fun before hers?

Should you always talk about emotions and not facts?

Does this random approach make sense to do "Hey I'm really busy right now and have to get going but can I ask u a question real quick...... are you single.... give me your number and if we get along maybe we can go get coffee or something"

Are c&f openers the best to use... even light negs?

Just curious if anyone could address some of my questions I had per my thread review...

 

[Reyaj]

Well I wasn't able to get off any approaches this weekend nor did I call the out of state college girl or arab girl from a while ago. After reading the LBJF posts I'm not sure if I should try that with the arab girl being that I don't have enough rapport as it is. Both these girls are super popular and really go out with their friends all the time... so I feel like I can't win here. But I'll update with the plates I'm spinning;

So the Airline girl.... I call she answered and it turned out she had to fly out the next day. I notice that I get nervous around this girl and feel stumped with things to say but I talk to her about basic things blahb lah.. She is a talker on the phone once you get going... but she flies out too much and is always with her friends when she is in for me to really capitalize... I'm not sure if I should go for setting up something where her and her friends hang out with me and mine or just push for the solo.... but whatever... so I told her I like her texts and she texted me before she left thursday. On Saturday she texted me early this time when she got back but it was an accident cause she meant to text her friend and then texted me anyway saying whats up.... but whatever... she then went home and drank with her friends at her place and sent me playful texts saying she was in a bikini etc... when I asked if that was an invite she said maybe.. but then changed the subject and said it was too hot out so everyone went inside. I texted her saying I had some plans with friends but maybe we could meet up later. So she called me later and said she and her friends were going... I told her if I got back early I maybe could meet up with them. So she texted me later saying where she was but my friends couldn't make it early.... so I basically made it seem like I was in her area anyway and I got a hold of her as her and her friends were leaving to go home. I told her I could stop by and say hello and she said sure... so she was outside of some fast food place as her friends were inside... I go up to her hug and kiss her on the cheek. She seemed a bit taken back by this but let me do it... She didn't make eye contact again with me but talked... she said her friends were all waiting inside and I told her I had to walk with my friend back to his car so she's like ok.. well I'll walk with you a little bit... so she walked next to me and we talked. I was nervous but I did my best to ask her about her day and all this bologne. My friend was right next to me also... So then she's like well I better get back. I went up to her hugged and kissed her on the cheek again.. and then teased her and told her to eat something. As she was walking back she turned around laughing I will lol!

So anyway I wasn't quite sure how that went but maybe 10 minutes or so later I get a text from her saying "just so u know i'm eating lol" so I respond back a bit later "thats a good choice" so a bit later she texts me "im glad i got to see u! i'm going to bed" I respond a while later "me too. sweet dreams and let me know if you are leaving tomorrow"

So the next day which was yesterday she calls me around 2:30... I didn't see the call though... and I decide I wouldn't call back right away. So she didn't leave a message or follow up text..... but I decide to call back like 3 hours later... she picks up and says she is leaving today and then leaving back to her home state when she gets back (this is true cause she told me this a whiel ago)... so I did my usual small talk c&f routine... and I told her we could talk on the phone while she's away sometimes. I told her I had to go cause I was doing family thigns.. and she's like ok I might text you before I leave. I said that was cool. She didn't though..... So thats where its at now


Ok so the chick that is seeing someone that goes to her beach home every weekend.... Well I texted her Friday saying "just wanted to say good morning" she responded back hours later "you are sweet. its crazy at work today" We traded a few texts back and forth and that was it. Since it was the weekend and I knew she was going to be away I didn't contact her not did she contact me.

I will follow up today... either a phone call tonight or maybe a text in a little bit. I know too much texting isn't good but every girl does it....

Ohhhh and the girl that asked me about the myspace. Well she finally gave me her name to add her, I did and she accepted. I haven't heard from her since but I haven't contacted her either. I may follow up later via text (she never answers the phone and texts at her whim) and see whats up. She seems popular too and another party girl.... I guess thats what I'm going to meet at clubs and bars right? I may need to change venues cause its so hard to find a grounded girl!

 

[Reyaj]

oh boy... so listen to this....

I texted the beach bartender girl who I added on myspace. I said "so how was the beach this weekend" No response.... though she didn't delete me from myspace. Looking at her page she has tons of friends and basically seems like she doesn't know what she wants and always hangs with her girlfriends. I'm not even bothering anymore....

Now the girl that seeing someone.... I texted her yesterday saying how are you in spanish. She responded back after an hour saying she had a lot of drama this weekend, then asked for my email address. I texted her back a little later and gave it to her and asked for hers.. Well she didn't text me back to my surprise wrote me an email talking about what a crazy weekend she had and that its easier for her to email while she's at work. I texted her back later saying I just read her email and that I would call her later cause I was leaving work. Well she had said she was tired so since I didn't get back late I texted her to see if she was up, then I called and got no answer. I figured she fell asleep but to my surprise she texted me back a little later saying she just got back from running. I texted back saying I tried calling her a little while ago. She texted me back saying she was going to take a shower but would call me when she got out (now keep in mind its past 10pm) I texted back saying that would fine....

Well you guessed it... she didn't call.... So today I responded to her email saying she probably fell asleep and that I'd like to talk to her about her crazy weekend blah blah.....

Still no response yet... I'll follow up with her tomorrow if I don't hear anything.... Sort of weird how these girls get hot and cold.... but I seem to forget she's seeing someone so I have to be extra patient which she said she liked about me.

 

[Reyaj]

I think you are right real2. You have any suggested articles?

Just an update....

The girl thats seeing someone did respond to my email yesterday saying she did fall asleep and that her day was crazy and asked that I bare with her for the next 2 weeks. I responded back later it wasn't a problem and she could call me later if she wants. She responded back saying she'd call me later after she went running.... Guess what? No call from her last time. Today i'm not going to follow up at all though... The thing is part of me is thinking try to get this girl out as soon as possible to meet..... the other part of me is seeing she is seeing someone... so just be friendly and stick around and strike whenever there is an opportunity even though there might not be one and it could take a long while... not sure...

But anyway... my airline girl texted me in the evening yesterday saying "whats up dear"

I didnt see the message until hours later so I responded in spanish since she is latin saying something tender. She said she was going to sleep cause she had to fly out to her home state early this morning. I told her I'd try and call her later.

Thats where its at now.

 

[Reyaj]

Ok updates on current plates, past plates and an approach I did yesterday.

The Airline girl is back in her home state. I texted saying I'd call her Wednesday but I didn't nor did she text me the whole day. So yesterday around 6:30pm I called but for the first time I got her voice mail (she used to always answer) ok so I wait a bit and no call back. So like a few hours later I text her "hey tried calling, hope you are having fun back home" Well she texts me back a bit later "hey sorry about that i have a weak signal here. im havin a blast how are you" I reply back a bit later "never better sweetheart" She responds back "thats good guess where i'm at, drinking lol i couldnt stay away" I responded back saying "yea well guess where i am" she's like "where" I said "your town where we met" she responded back "of course" I then texted her a bit later "the food is better here where you are" There was no response.

I won't contact her again until at least next week if she doesn't contact me. I'm surprised she didn't call me back and I don't buy that weak signal crap because the phone rang fine and didn't go right to voice mail. Still with the amount of times this girl travels and the fact that when she's home she's always out with her friends; this isn't going to be easy.

Ok so onto the girl that's "seeing someone" So like I said I didn't text, email, or call Wednesday. In the past unless I did something she didn't really contact me. But to my surprise I get a text around 7:30 on Wednesday "sorry about last nite, tonight 4 sure" Well I respond back like an hour later "should i hold my breath lol j/k" She responds back like 40 mins later "yea u should funny guy"

Well this time she did call and I picked up. I asked her about the weekend she emailed me about and actually did a lot of talking this time (maybe more than I should have aka the wind bag from AOS) but she got me telling her stories of unique experiences I've had in my life. Anyway when there was a moment of pause I interjected "it would be cool to get together sometime" She said thats a good idea but that work is crazy for her until the end of next week. She said she'd be at her beach house this weekend but since I'm not going to be in that area I'm not going to see her. And next week is crazy and I found out via a follow up text the next day she is having a girls night out next friday which is only going to leave me going down to the beach area with my friends the following weekend waiting another week!

Too much time is passing here but there's not much I can do. I guess I'll see if I still have any IOI after this weekend with her and try to plan something. I'm just not sure if I should meet her in a club with my friends next weekend or wait another week and try to set it up solo.... the clock is ticking here....

So yesterday I was out at this bar watching the Laker/Celtic game... some girl stood next to me so I iniaited convo

Me: so who you pulling for?
Her: Celtics, I went to school in Boston so I have to
Me: thats cool where did you go study, work etc....
blah blah

Well anyway since it was the end of the game I couldn't do my usual number close and bail... so I actually stood next to her silently for a bit.... as crowds of people moved in she eventually started looking at another tv screen that was away from me.... So I basically wasn't sure if it was worth reengaging but for the heck of it I did. When there was like 10 seconds or so left in the game and i knew the Celtics couldn't lose, I went up to her again

Me: So this tv over here is better
Her: yea i just kept getting pushed and bumped into I wanted space
Me: thats cool.... listen I actually have to go find my friends, it would be cool to talk to you more though, let me get your # I'll give you a call
Her: awwwwwwww I can't......
Me: What do you mean you can't (smiling, laughing)
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: So you're not allowed to talk to people? lol
Her: well I can talk to people
Me: thats cool thats all I want to do is talk
Her: ohh ok
Me: So what is it
Her: xxx-xxx-xxxx

I also joked about her name which I've done saying she spells it right and I said that as I put it in my phone. I told her I'd talk to her soon kissed her on the cheek and walked out.

My friends were outside so I stood with them and she eventually came out to smoke and I know she saw me but I pretended I didn't see her. I texted her later that night saying "Hey it was nice meeting you, Go Celtics!"

No response. The number might even be a fake. Probably not even worth my follow up anyway but we'll see.


On the past plates... I end up texting the sorrority president girl yesterday saying "is your phone working today lol" She responds back a bit later "yea lol" I then tell her I'm going out with my friends to a trendy part of town and ask if she wants to bring a friend. She responds back asking where I'm going and what time. Then says she isn't sure she could make it. She texts me and asks me how I've been. I decide to call later and she picks up but is with people and said she is going out to some place more local since she has to work. She's like I'll call/text you later but I hate texting . The convo was like literally a minute. I texted her later just for the heck of it "I dont like texting but yours I don't mind " She responds back instantly "haha same here "

The HB 7 Arab Plate I also invited out via text but she said she had to work. I texted her saying "it would be nice to see you one of these days " No response after that. These are past plates that never amounted to anything anyway so I don't really care. Plus these girls go out all the time and seem to care more about going out with their friends than establishing a relationship.

What are you going to do right?
For now

Approaches 73
Numbers 45

I'll adjust if it ends up being fake not that it matters

 

[darkme_legendary]

Why do you need to do 1000 approaches?
I hope not mostly for getting rid of Approach Anxiety..