Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Reyaj]

jayer you have made so much progress i am envious!!

i have gotten super lazy

I 100% want what this quote above says just like most guys but you are fighting a losing battle

1.telling them off makes me feel good=outcome dependantcy is hurting you getting laid...dont feed ur ego, its pointless

2. making mistakes and accepting that girls will act ****ty toward you is to be expected....imagine playing a new sport...of course you will lose but getting ur ass kicked over and over is the only way to get better...you have to play the game

3. just cause a girl flakes doesn't mean sh1t!!!! she probably has another guy who played the game and has some experience and shes putting you on ice, maybee for desert ...when her schedul empties a little she might give you a ring or maybee she will know a girl you are dating in the future and say what an ******* you are becuase you told her off


just play it cool and keep up the good work your journal is a great read!!!

I wanted to answer some of the criticism/suggestions I've received before I post any updates.

I agree about the outcome dependency... even though I try to improve on this I can't help it at times. Sometimes when a girl doesn't respond or flake I get upset/mad and when they do sometimes I feel happy like a little kid. I think what really bothers me is that it seems like soo many girls end up flaking and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.... and I started to revert back to my AFC days and start getting upset.

I have gotten better in that I don't always tell girls off as I used too (still sometimes though if they are flat out blatantly flaky)


As far as expecting these things to happen... again, sometimes it feels like it always happens... and anytime I get excited about a new possibility only to have it falter does upset me. If it worked out at least a decent amount of time I could accept it. The reality is though out of just about 50 approaches I've only laid 1 girl!

I guess to your point 3, I shouldn't take it personally..... but how can I not when it happens over and over and over again????



Senor Fingers

Your advice is right on and I complete agree. I do have an ego and I do take it seriously. But again when it keeps happening over and over again it really kind of hurts my feelings..... I think I've just about got the approach down (or soon will) I am ready to take this to the next step but I feel like I plateued....


Bible

You may have a point. I've heard a lot of girls say they like guys that are fun and I'll admit I can be kind of boring and plain. Can you give me some examples of how I can be more fun and make girls have a good time when they are with me....

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sometimes when a girl doesn't respond or flake I get upset/mad and when they do sometimes I feel happy like a little kid.

And that's ok! You feel how you feel. It can be a roller coaster for any of us, plenty of ups and downs. Everyone has emotions. What matters are your actions. Often, following your feelings and acting on them will lead you astray. But if you can just identify the self-destructive emotions when they arrive and have the strength to not act on them or display those emotions to the girl, then they don't hurt you. When a chick flakes, be mad if you want; you have every right - just don't let the girl know! As I get older, I become more convinced that 'being a man,' for all the disagreement about what that actually means, is largely about being in control of your emotions instead of being controlled by them.


I've heard a lot of girls say they like guys that are fun and I'll admit I can be kind of boring and plain. Can you give me some examples of how I can be more fun and make girls have a good time when they are with me....

It's about you. What is fun to you? If you are having a good time (or any kind of time), your emotion is contagious. You having fun will rub off on her. This is the opposite of anything traditional ever taught about dating. We are conditioned to believe that we are supposed to show her a good time - like a pretentious meal and lame chick-flick. What actually works is to show her your good time. Whatever you do in life that makes you the happiest, let her see you in that environment.

 

[Reyaj]

Sometimes when a girl doesn't respond or flake I get upset/mad and when they do sometimes I feel happy like a little kid.

And that's ok! You feel how you feel. It can be a roller coaster for any of us, plenty of ups and downs. Everyone has emotions. What matters are your actions. Often, following your feelings and acting on them will lead you astray. But if you can just identify the self-destructive emotions when they arrive and have the strength to not act on them or display those emotions to the girl, then they don't hurt you. When a chick flakes, be mad if you want; you have every right - just don't let the girl know! As I get older, I become more convinced that 'being a man,' for all the disagreement about what that actually means, is largely about being in control of your emotions instead of being controlled by them.


I've heard a lot of girls say they like guys that are fun and I'll admit I can be kind of boring and plain. Can you give me some examples of how I can be more fun and make girls have a good time when they are with me....

It's about you. What is fun to you? If you are having a good time (or any kind of time), your emotion is contagious. You having fun will rub off on her. This is the opposite of anything traditional ever taught about dating. We are conditioned to believe that we are supposed to show her a good time - like a pretentious meal and lame chick-flick. What actually works is to show her your good time. Whatever you do in life that makes you the happiest, let her see you in that environment.

BB you are right. It looks like the HB 7/8 Blonde girl I met last Saturday flaked as well. I'm surprised only because our phone convo went well or so I thought.

I called her Wednesday night and no answer. I didn't leave a message and she didn't call back or anything. The next morning for the heck of it I texted her "Good Morning" she texted me back pretty quick saying "Hey... Good Morning, how is work?" I texted back an hour later saying "a bit busy but nothing I can't handle. I tried calling you yesterday btw "

She never responded. I didn't call or text her after that until today. I called her a little earlier and no answer. I texted her afterwards saying "you're very hard to reach lol" She didn't respond. About an hour or so later I texted "or you just don't like guys with dark " No response or nothing. NEXT

But BB I'm not going to tell this girl off or anything... I'll just keep her number in my phone book with the few other flaky girls I haven't told off. Maybe one day when I'm bored I'll reach out... but other than I still have plates that I'm spinning!

I went out with the swedish girl on Thursday. I had basically talked to her on Wednesday after she called and I didn't answer, she then texted.... in which I texted back a few hours later saying I missed her call and asked if she was up. She texted back saying she was but that she was busy and asked if I would be up in a half hour. I said sure. She called me back like an hour later... we talked.... basically she did most of the talking... When I had an opportunity I told her I'd like to see her soon.... she responded "well the problem is I never know when I'm working" I have to admit I got discouraged thinking this was a flake excuse.... but anyway I said we should hang out tommorow and she's like ok I'll have to check with the people I work for to see what time is getting out. She said she would let me know tomorrow (which was Thursday) if she could.

So I got off the phone with her and I'll admit I was a little down thinking she probably was going to flake or whatever. But on Thursday to my surprise she texted me saying she'd be done around 8:30 if I still wanted to hang....

Well I called her later on that night and said I was tired (which I was) and she said she was too but it was up to me. I said we could both go see a movie and she said that was fine. I ended up picking her up, hugged and kissed her on the cheek. We went to go see Cloverfield and at first in the movie theather she was sitting with her hands in her pocket not really showing good body language towards me (or so I took it).... but anyway I stayed calm... put my arm on the armrest and watched.... as the movie went on I noticed her arm would touch mine and she didn't move it away so much. There were parts when she got scared, so I used that as opportunity to use kino... I subbed her arm and shoulder asking if she was ok..... and she said she would. Soon after she was right next to me leaning against me with her arm so I thought maybe this was good.

Well when the movie was over I drove her home and she had me pull to the side of the house since thats where the entrance was. I took off my seatbelt and she basically was like hold on.. I need to find the code to get into the house as she looked through her cell phone. I made small talk while she was doing this and then when she looked up I went in to hug her and she hugged me well and I kissed her on the cheek. I thought she was going to get out of the car as she sort of hesitantly reached for the handle. I talked to her a bit and then I started touching her hair and talking to her. All of a sudden when she glanced at me for a second I leaned in and kissed her.... she kissed me back. It was short but sweet and after a little tongue I ended the kiss in sync. Smiled and said jokingly said don't wake anybody up in the house.

So I'll probably call her tomoorow to see whats up. On another note.. as I am typing this, the HB 6 state college girl just texted me saying she hopes I'm having a good weekend. We are supposed to get together tomorrow so we'll see what happens there.

I'm going to go out sarging again tonight so hopefully I'll have some approaches to report back!

Thanks all for the support!

 

[Reyaj]

Ok I went 3 for 3 this weekend. I went out to a few clubs/lounges and just did my thing. From what I remember here is how they went down.

The first girl I approached was this much older lady (probably too old where I won't call her) she was with her friend (another other lady) and I just went up to her and asked her what was on the tv set. She explained it was some ethnic carnival and I basically related with her nationality and said I didn't speak much with it. I ended up chatting up her friend also... and when my friend came in from smoking I brought him and we worked together nicely. I stepped away after a while and started talking to a set that was sitting next to us. I used the same approach as far as "hey whats that on the tv" and then I went into the name asking and blah blah.

Well this 2nd girl was hot so I basically had her take pictures of us and then I had took pictures of her friends. A lot of guys were hitting on her that night. But whatever... I basically told her to email the pictures to me and she said she didn't have a pen. I said give me your number, I'll text you, and then you text me the email. She agreed and I got the digits and texted her. No text back though.... maybe I'll call later tonight though I'm going to assume she's a flake.

Next I went up to this 3 set with my 2 friends so it was 3 on 3. I used the same opener as far as what was on tv, then just asked name, where from and all the usual. THen out of nowhere I said "do you drink coffee" shes like "yeah I do" I'm like "we should get some sometime" She's like yeah... I then said I had to go but asked her number and she gave it to me.

Then when I went back I saw the old ladies... the one grabbed me and started dancing close.. I asked for her number... she gave me her phone, I put mine in and i called mine with it.

As far as other updates... the HB 6 from college I was supposed to see yesterday called me asking to take a rain check cause her roomate got tickets to see this group she loved... she seemed sincere and asked if I was mad... I played it cool and just said its fine at least I have future ammunition half jokingly. I told her to call me during the week and we'll figure something out.

Bottom Line
Approaches 52
Numbers 33

 

[Reyaj]

Ok so I reached out to 2 of the 3 plates yesterday I met on saturday. The first one was the Brazilian girl, tall about an HB 7. I call and she answers. I say hey its Jayer we met on Saturday... she recognizes me and says hi.. then asks how I am in a very heavy accent. I couldn't understand what she was really saying due the the reception and her heavy accent. She couldn't understand me either. I jokingly tried to say something in Portuguese but then all of a sudden the phone hung up.

I waited a few minutes to see if she would call back but she didn't. I then called back a few times and it went right to voice mail.... it sounded like her phone was off. Whether she turned it off on purpose or not I don't know.... but I texted her a little while later saying "good night sweetie" in portuguese. No response or anything today.. so I'm guessing she flaked out... but I'll try again later.

I then called the HB 7 Puerto rican girl with the 10 azz. It went right to voice mail and I didn't leave a message. However about a half hour later she calls back my number. I answer and she's like "Hello Jayer" I'm like "wow how did you know it was me" She's like "i programmed your name into my phone after you texted me silly, how are you?" Well anyway we talked about the basics for like a half hour... she is actually from puerto rico and has a 14 year old son. She wouldn't tell me how old she is but says she is between 30 and 40. I said we should get dinner sometime and she said that was a good idea. She said weekends worked best for her as she goes to school and works during the week. We made plans for Sunday and I said I would follow up with her. She also said she took some pictures of us at the club and was looking for me (bs cause I saw her talking to other guys)

Also I texted a few dead plates today. I texted the HB 7 Arab girl that never really called me or anythign saying "hello beautiful" in Italian and she responded back saying "lol hey!" I didn't respond after that but may send out another text later if not tomorrow. I tried using a few negs on the others instead of flat out telling them off. I texted the portuguese girl who likes guys with light eyes and called her a nazi.... but no response.... I texted the big city plate askign if she got a myspace request from me (never requested her) but no answer. I also texted the HB 7 blonde girl that basically ignored me after a nice convo... since she works for a big insurance company I texted her and asked "so are all girls that work for that company pretentious?"

So far no response....


I have yet to call the older lady I met... because I don't know what my IL in her is being that she might be around 40.... we'll see

 

[Bible_Belt]

The puerto rican woman will screw your brains out. Single mommies are easy to lay. There's probably no long term potential with a woman who is ten years older than you. The kid is what you make of it; at least better than a baby.

After those girls ignore you a couple of times, then I'd say leave them alone for a couple of months. Let it be their loss. If you keep working your numbers, girls who you forgot about due to their flaking will call you every now and then.

 

[Reyaj]

The puerto rican woman will screw your brains out. Single mommies are easy to lay. There's probably no long term potential with a woman who is ten years older than you. The kid is what you make of it; at least better than a baby.

After those girls ignore you a couple of times, then I'd say leave them alone for a couple of months. Let it be their loss. If you keep working your numbers, girls who you forgot about due to their flaking will call you every now and then.

You are probably right. I basically shouldn't have text wars with dumb hoes that aren't worth my time. But anyways yeah I texted the HB 7.5 arab girl saying "so I'd like my hot chocolate before spring time " yesterday but no response. After seeing pictures on her facebook of her with these steroid dudes at a club I texted her "I can look like a juice head too lol" but no response. That was my attempt at c&f. That plate is nexted.

The PR mommy texted me yesterday saying sorry about not getting a chance to send photos over (from when we met at the club) and then I texted her back saying I was tired. She then texted me back saying to call her tomoorrow and rest papi. haha she called me papi. Well I called her just a little while ago but no answer.... no call back either. We have tenative plans for Sunday so we'll see what happens.

I texted the out of state popular sorrority plate yesterday about the weather here to which she responded she misses here. I texted her you better let me knwo when you get back. She responded lol dont worry I will. I texted her happy v day today and she texted me back you too.

The HB 6 college girl has texted me back and forth today regarding hanging out tomorrow. So far we are on... but she hasn't yet responded to my last test asking her if she got my v-card in the email

I also sent one to the swedish girl who replied saying "happy v-day to you too"

I tried calling her a while ago but no answer. She texts me about an hour later saying sorry she missed my call she's working. I texted back an hour later saying "no problem" She texted back saying "ok cool" but she never called me back

Honestly this girl is a little chunky to be playing games. So I won't contact her again until she contacts me. If not next.... cause I realize I can always pick up another plate one when flakes!

thanks all!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Jayer, looks like you have an international following. Cali is a good place because it offers much diversity. Make your interest known and if they don't respond in kind then move on. Do not pursue just to pursue - be respectful and see if they respect you in kind through common courtesy.

 

[saber]

jayer if you are ever in socal i wanna sarge with you

have u considered a weekend seminar with a pu guru??

how often do you try to f-close versus getting a number?

 

[Reyaj]

jayer if you are ever in socal i wanna sarge with you

have u considered a weekend seminar with a pu guru??

how often do you try to f-close versus getting a number?

Not very often lol... but being serious its very hard to F-Close or ONS at these clubs. Most girls seem to have at least a few morals and those that don't have friends they are with that would prevent them from leaving with some random guy they must. I always figure going for the number is the safe play and then trying to build rapport from it is the next step. Though I clearly need to elevate my game following the number because I'm not having the success I'd like.

Do you seriously F-close right away after meeting a girl? If so please provide examples cause from what I've seen based out in the field it seems very very difficult to do.


Anyways update on the girls.

The swedish girl never called me back yesterday or text. I went onto myspace where she posted a bulliten that she has new pics for everyone to check out. There were a bunch of a pics from a party that was probably yesterday or the day before with her and some guys drinking. its funny cause she recently saw my myspace with girls on it so I wonder if she purposely wanted me to see that. In any case the only thing that made this girl attractive was her perosnality. if she is playing games or being stupid I'm not even going to bother. So if I don't hear from her I am not reaching out to her, mark my words.

I did go out on a date yesterday with the HB 6 college girl. This was the first time I've seen her in a month since she has gone back to school. We decided to meet at a movie theather that was close to me since she cancelled plans with me last Sunday. Well we met up I went up to her kissed her on the cheek, and hugged her. She gave me a hug with 1 hand.... which was different than the nice hugs I usually got from her. But ok whatever.... so we went into the movie theather and it was practically empty.... She walked toward the front but I told her I preferred to sit back and she agreed. Well basically she sat with her arms crossed the whole time. and kept checking her phone every few minutes compulsively. So I actually texted her during the movie saying "boo" and she was surprised. But anyway at first she was sitting with her legs against the front seats diagonally away from me though her body was relatively close. Then as the movie went on her shoulder brushed up against me.... yet her arms continued to be crossed the whole time... and she even put her jacket over her. I tried a little kino by rubbing her arm and asking if she was cold but she answered she was alright. So anyway when our bodies did touch she didn't move away hastily so I wasn't sure what her IL was..... But then her leg touched mine and she didn't move it and she sat close to me. There was some crazy guy that came into the theather behind us that clearly had tourette syndrome that made things uncomfortable for me to work... but whatever... as the movie ended I expected her to leave fast but the ending credits had some scenes so she stayed and watched that.

Well as we are walking out the movie theather we realized that we parked in different areas. I told her since it was late I would walk with her (past midnight) and she said that would be good. I said she could even give me a ride to my car and she agreed. So anyway we got in her car, she put her seat belt on and started the car immediately and pulled out.... she then realized the parking garage she was in did not have entry to the one I was in so decided to leave me off at the elevator. So anyway I looked at her and said I had a good time and then leaned in. I went for her lips and she basically gave me a peck and that was it. I looked right at her and said "that's all"? She seemed surprised and said "ohh you want more?" I said "a little bit" half serious with a smile. I then immediately leaned in again and kissed her. This time we started really kissing just like we had the last few times. She was giving me tongue as I was. She then put her finger on my the side of my chin or something which I thought might have been a move to end the kiss.. but she kept kissing as did I. Finally we both ended the kiss at the same time (I think). It was definitely the best kiss I've had with her so far..... I told her to drive safe and that next time I would come see her down by her. She said "yeah you should, its only fair"

That was that... make of it what you will.....

 

[LuckyBob]

I just read your entire thread, and I gotta say you changed a lot. You were rough around the edges at first, but now you're very smooth. Keep up the good work.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There was some crazy guy that came into the theather behind us that clearly had tourette syndrome


My favorite part of the Strauss book 'The Game' was Courtney Love trying to figure out which guy had tourettes. When a new guy would enter the room, she say "Sh!tballs!!!" And they'd reply, "No, Courtney, not him."

 

[cyp6]

nice job bro

 

[Reyaj]

Why don't you ever change venue after the agreed upon date? It seems like you are underutilizing spontaneity. You should've made some excuse to get her back to your place - a great dvd you own that she should watch some scenes from, you make the best hot cocoa she needs to try some, she should check out this book you're reading, etc... It really doesn't matter - they will be chompin at the bit to continue the date if you've played your cards right.

I once asked a girl at 3:00 AM after a movie if she would like to come in and say "hi" to my roomate - I mean seriously 3:00 AM and she is going to say hi to my roomate? She didn't even hesitate and we went straight to my room.

Obviously this girl wants you, cause she was kissing you like that. She also clearly wants you to lead - that's why she only gave you a peck. I don't know if this has already been suggested, but it seems to me you could be getting a lot further with these girls... but you're not taking these calculated risks (there's not a lot of uncertainty involved here - I mean she is making out with you in the middle of a parking lot in her car).

You know what I totally agree. What sucks is I still live at home

But anyway I don't know whats up with this girl. I called her today hours ago and no answer or call or text back from her. I am actually leaving to go on a trip tomorrow. I texted her a few minutes ago saying it would be nice to talk to her before I leave. She hasn't called or responded back yet. I know she's at home cause she just updated her away message online and her cell is usually glued to her. If this girl flakes I honestly have no idea what I'm doing......

 

[ezily]

I don't know. That college girl didn't seem too in to you during your date. Maybe she was just putting on a show during that kiss (or you turned her on). If you don't hear back from her, not a text (since girls can easily fake feelings on text and I just see it as a way for them to get out of conversations) but a phone call, I would just forget about her. She's not worth your time.

You have no idea what your doing wrong? I don't know maybe it's just the girls you find. Don't take this flaking stuff from them personally. It does you no good. I mean you get dates. So you'll find someone eventually. I can't remember where you meet these girls (I think you meet most in clubs and bars) but that's probably the problem. If you want a gf I would try and hook up with a girl you know through a friend or meet in a class or something. Girls at clubs seem to flake a lot.

 

[Reyaj]

I don't know. That college girl didn't seem too in to you during your date. Maybe she was just putting on a show during that kiss (or you turned her on). If you don't hear back from her, not a text (since girls can easily fake feelings on text and I just see it as a way for them to get out of conversations) but a phone call, I would just forget about her. She's not worth your time.

You have no idea what your doing wrong? I don't know maybe it's just the girls you find. Don't take this flaking stuff from them personally. It does you no good. I mean you get dates. So you'll find someone eventually. I can't remember where you meet these girls (I think you meet most in clubs and bars) but that's probably the problem. If you want a gf I would try and hook up with a girl you know through a friend or meet in a class or something. Girls at clubs seem to flake a lot.

Thanks for the input.... she still hasn't responded back..... but yeah I guess I feel better knowing to expect this stuff from girls in clubs. Its just that seems to happen to me over and over again and its so frustrating. I mean I remember beforehand I would be too scared to make a move and girls would flake. I at least understood what was happening there... but now at times I am kissing girls and then they are still flaking.

To be honest I feel depressed now...... I kind of feel like how I used to... when nothing seems to go right..... oh well I'll get through this

 

[ezily]

Nah, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just because a girl kisses you doesn’t mean she won’t flake. Man, I’ve thought sometimes that there’s no way a girl would flake on me but then she comes up with some lame excuse at the last minute. Sure it sucks and I’ve been ‘depressed’ about it before, but it’s not the end of the world. Once you’re able to not take these things personally then you’re good. This mindset will allow you not to become depressed, not to over analyze (which will thus lead to depression and anxiety), and to then seem more attractive to girls because you won’t portray a desperate and needy attitude.

Maybe this college chick just didn’t want the same things she thought you wanted. I’m in college now. Girls here flake all the time unless you’re just some stud frat guy. And even frat guys get flaked on (all the time). I mean I hear girls talk about how they only went with a guy to a social or something just because they needed a date. They didn’t even like the guy. Some girls just go out because they want a new dress. Maybe the girl you went out with isn’t mature enough yet.

Also, I’ve noticed that you seem to text girls a lot when they won’t respond to your phone calls. I’ve been in this boat before a few times and have come to the following conclusion: girls, who you are interested in, but will only communicate with you via text, are not interested in you. Therefore if she won’t return your calls, then forget about her. I leave a voice message on the first call, and if she doesn’t call back, I call a second time leaving no message. If she doesn’t return your call then next this *****. She’s not into you. It makes life a lot simpler. No over analyzing text messages or emails. No anxiety. No depression. You know why she didn’t return your calls. That’s life for ya. Not every girl you meet or get a number from will want to actually go out with you. Most are just too ‘nice’ to say no in the beginning. So we get dragged along this road of trying to go out when they never like us to begin with.

And so I would recommend not texting so much. I think a problem you have is that their replying to your texts gives you this false sense of security that they want to go out with you, when the reality is the exact opposite. Just call and don’t take it personally if she doesn’t like you or doesn’t return the calls. There are plenty of girls out there. Just keep at it and try to take a break from the club scene. Girls are less flakey when they’re sober.

 

[Reyaj]

Nah, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just because a girl kisses you doesn’t mean she won’t flake. Man, I’ve thought sometimes that there’s no way a girl would flake on me but then she comes up with some lame excuse at the last minute. Sure it sucks and I’ve been ‘depressed’ about it before, but it’s not the end of the world. Once you’re able to not take these things personally then you’re good. This mindset will allow you not to become depressed, not to over analyze (which will thus lead to depression and anxiety), and to then seem more attractive to girls because you won’t portray a desperate and needy attitude.

Maybe this college chick just didn’t want the same things she thought you wanted. I’m in college now. Girls here flake all the time unless you’re just some stud frat guy. And even frat guys get flaked on (all the time). I mean I hear girls talk about how they only went with a guy to a social or something just because they needed a date. They didn’t even like the guy. Some girls just go out because they want a new dress. Maybe the girl you went out with isn’t mature enough yet.

Also, I’ve noticed that you seem to text girls a lot when they won’t respond to your phone calls. I’ve been in this boat before a few times and have come to the following conclusion: girls, who you are interested in, but will only communicate with you via text, are not interested in you. Therefore if she won’t return your calls, then forget about her. I leave a voice message on the first call, and if she doesn’t call back, I call a second time leaving no message. If she doesn’t return your call then next this *****. She’s not into you. It makes life a lot simpler. No over analyzing text messages or emails. No anxiety. No depression. You know why she didn’t return your calls. That’s life for ya. Not every girl you meet or get a number from will want to actually go out with you. Most are just too ‘nice’ to say no in the beginning. So we get dragged along this road of trying to go out when they never like us to begin with.

And so I would recommend not texting so much. I think a problem you have is that their replying to your texts gives you this false sense of security that they want to go out with you, when the reality is the exact opposite. Just call and don’t take it personally if she doesn’t like you or doesn’t return the calls. There are plenty of girls out there. Just keep at it and try to take a break from the club scene. Girls are less flakey when they’re sober.

Thanks for reading and following up on this. With this girl I mean... this was our 4th meeting technically.... and we pretty much have hooked up everytime except for the first time cause we were with friends..... So that leads me to believe that I did something wrong. I agree she probably is immature... I am in my late 20's and she is 21 but she knew this.... I played it cool all the time we were out... I never come across as needy or supplicating but probably do more DHV than anything. but you are right its better for my confidence to just accept the flake and move on....... but I just feel that if I don't learn from my mistakes its going to keep happening... and if you've read this journal you will see its happend before as well..

Thanks for the input on the text messages as well. I've pretty much been heavily crticized for texting so much by the posters as you can see. For the record though I always do try and call first.... I would prefer to have phone conversations..... but it just seems like girls are more comfortable texting. It actually has led me to a few meetings so from my experience during this whole experiment I wouldn't say that texting be "taboo" so to speak. However the fact that a response via text makes me feel desired is something I should think about.


The funny thing is I had a few girls I've met that flat out told me they prefer to text........ In the end it basically didn't go anywhere though. Neither the swedish girl (who texted me and never called me back after I kissed her) and now this HB 6 college girl have called me back or contacted me. They are officially nexted in my book.

Sorry for typing all this blabber out loud.. it does make me feel better.

My usual method is like this

Call - No Answer, No message

Call again, no answer, message, no call back NEXT

or Call again, no answer, TEXT, in which I usually get responses.


Texting has helped me out a bit... but I should not rely on it that much....... or feel validated as a text response being a HIGH IL SIGN

You are right thanks!

 

[Reyaj]

and EZ for the record reading your response made me feel better.

Life is too short to over analyze flakey girls.....

I just want to ultimately be able to put forth the best effort I can.... and if a girl flakes and I was being totally cool and great then its truly her loss......

At times I just can't help that feel like I did something wrong when it happens repeatidly. However the fact that you don't think I did makes me feel better and puts it into perspective.

Flakes aren't worth my attention!

 

[Reyaj]

lol speaking of text messaging.... the swedish girl texted me yesterday out of the blue saying "hey how are you, sorry I haven't gotten back to you its just been hectic lately"

Well I responded today saying "I am good I was away" which is true. She responded back after a little while saying "thats cool'

I haven't responded since..... funny how these girls are lol....


Right now I'm online and the HB 6 college girl that flaked is on..... I'm like so tempted to text her to try and find out why she flakes... I know its the wrong move and they never tell you anyway...... but I'm just so curious.


I just did it... lol of course she didn't tell me. I was like "ok I'm just curious cause it makes no sense why you became flakey after went out"

She was like "what are you talking about"

I was like "you never responded to my text or phone call"

She was basically like what.... my cell phone broke for a day and I didn't have it for 24 hours...... then she like tried to turn it around on me like I was F'd up for calling her a liar..... and she's like "you are being annoying now I am not going to go out of my way to prove it to you"

Then she said "i would tell you if something was wrong with you.. I wouldn't just ignore you, I'm not like that"

I basically told her she was full of it but I don't care, she shows she is immature and that's the reason in and of itself.

Then I signed off.

Lol these girls are so stupid.... But the great thing is I don't care cause I'm going to complete these 100 approaches!