I hate how you guys tell people to take care of themselves and dating automatically follows

[guru1000]

what are the odds that they would like me enough to want to go out with me? 1 in 100,000?

Self-fulfilling prophecy.

I rather pull the plug than self-deprecate.

 

[Reykhel]

it's not about too easy

I'm speaking about my experience. Learn that we can all only view the world and speak from our subjective experience. You seem
to lack the ability to see the bigger picture with regards to communication.

It's about filtering out the nonsense.

You have too much female energy.

even though he is a white guy himself

..and a weird anti white hangup.

Women of her caliber online have their standards set at the moon

why are you so desperate for "miss perfect"?

 

[bigdave17]

Self-fulfilling prophecy.

I rather pull the plug than self-deprecate.

I know you guys are trying to preach this positive thinking stuff and that's great and all


but dude come on, a cute 25 year old girl in awesome shape who works out at a gym 5 times a week? I can't even imagine what her standards are, not to mention the odds of her even being single is like 5%. So I'm approaching a girl who more than likely is in a serious relationship and if she is single, has an unholy amount of men pursuing her constantly everyday - half of whom are probably 6'4 white male model/fitness model types.

 

[bigdave17]

I

why are you so desperate for "miss perfect"?

what's the point of obsessively killing myself for 10 years in self improvement to date a chick who is not in shape or who is stupid or something?

 

[guru1000]

I know you guys are trying to preach this positive thinking stuff and that's great and all


but dude come on, a cute 25 year old girl in awesome shape who works out at a gym 5 times a week? I can't even imagine what her standards are, not to mention the odds of her even being single is like 5%. So I'm approaching a girl who more than likely is in a serious relationship and if she is single, has an unholy amount of men pursuing her constantly everyday - half of whom are probably 6'4 white male model/fitness model types.

1) 95% of hot women are not taken;
2) Your current total SMV is a 7, correct? This means you have 7-9s who will date you.
3) Most orbiters and men pursuing her are of low SMV. She has very few comparable and compatible contenders, and some hot women have zero comparable and compatible contenders (at the moment). You'd be surprised in the scarcity (of suitable contenders) some of these women have.

All other thinking other than the above is factually inaccurate, and doesn't serve you.

 

[Reykhel]

what's the point of obsessively killing myself for 10 years in self improvement to date a chick who is not in shape or who is stupid or something?

Is English not your first language? you seem to misunderstand a lot...

Why are you desperate to meet to tie yourself down?

What is your sexual strategy? a long term relationship? Why?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

the reason everybody says I'm a fantastic person is because they know I am a man of impeccable morals and character. I would do absolutely anything for my loved ones

I know what your problem is. When they say you are "fantastic" they say you are fantastic in a "beta I can depend on" fantastic.

A common angle of the "nice guy" is how they turn their weakness (non-assertive, weak social skills) into superior moral quality.

 

[bigdave17]

Is English not your first language? you seem to misunderstand a lot...

Why are you desperate to meet to tie yourself down?

What is your sexual strategy? a long term relationship? Why?

I want to get into a long term relationship but only if we are a great match through and through in every way. I am not getting into a bad relationship

I am a relationship guy. I don't care for being single...the few women I've had casual flings with did nothing for me

 

[derby1]

OP youve been advised so many times, by numerous posters its your Personality!,

Theres an old saying

when 1 person thinks your a Dck thats an opinion

when 20 People think your A Dck its most likely your a Dck

plus your obsessed with money, which as long as your earning a liveable wage each week to enjoy life, should not matter to a woman of value, if anything she will get her purse out aswell

 

[bigdave17]

1) 95% of hot women are not taken;
2) Your current total SMV is a 7, correct? This means you have 7-9s who will date you.

pure face, I'm around a 7.5 but everything else is closer to a 10/10 (money body lifestyle fashion sense etc... etc... etc...). I'm an obsessive perfectionist.

I wish I was a 10/10 in the face also. Unfortunately, I was born of Armenian ancestry which means my face has certain slightly ethnic traits which automatically lowers me for American standards. I would probably be considered a 8 or 9/10 back home or even in Brazil or Puerto Rico.

I would be okay with a woman around a 6.5 to 7/10 if we are a good match compatibility wise.

) Most orbiters and men pursuing her are of low SMV. She has very few comparable and compatible contenders, and some hot women have zero comparable and compatible contenders (at the moment). You'd be surprised in the scarcity (of suitable contenders) some of these women have.

next, you're going to tell me that unicorns are real

the other day, one of the girls I wanted to approach at my gym was being hit on by a 6"4 230 lbs 8% BF male model looking dude. How in God's green earth do you compete with that? What's funny is she turned him down because he wasn't even good enough lolololol

 

[bigdave17]

I know what your problem is. When they say you are "fantastic" they say you are fantastic in a "beta I can depend on" fantastic.

A common angle of the "nice guy" is how they turn their weakness (non-assertive, weak social skills) into superior moral quality.

did you not read the post? I am not submissive or non assertive at all.

I balance being a genuinely great person with having a strong back bone

 

[Reykhel]

I want to get into a long term relationship but only if we are a great match through and through in every way. I am not getting into a bad relationship

I am a relationship guy. I don't care for being single...the few women I've had casual flings with did nothing for me

Your problem is general unhappiness......you think your perfect woman can cure this.

WRONG DIAGNOSIS

What can your perfect woman bring to the table?

Answer this and within you will find what the gaping holes in your existence represent. Work on those then see what's up

 

[guru1000]

the other day, one of the girls I wanted to approach at my gym was being hit on by a 6"4 230 lbs 8% BF male model looking dude. How in God's green earth do you compete with that? What's funny is she turned him down because he wasn't even good enough lolololol

Do you think if he were better looking, he would have closed her? If yes, what would better looking be to you, 6'7 250 lbs, 6% bf?

Or could it be she was taken, emotionally unavailable, turned off by attributes other than looks, not compatible, or she rejected herself out of insecurity?

 

[exhausted]

I think you are pressing too much.

Women like the vibe of a fun, charismatic and care free successful guy.

Try to be more care free enjoying yourself when you converse with women and sit at the bar so they run into you there instead of you chasing them down.

I do very well when at the bar with drive by compliments.

Like as you are talking to a friend stop a second give a compliment to a girl nearby or in passing and then back to your conversation with the friend as you are too busy for her.

She'll get the compliment without thinking it is all for a motive to get her vagina. Then a bit later on strike up a convo.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

did you not read the post? I am not submissive or non assertive at all.

One of the most common issues men have with women is OVERESTIMATING their value to women.

You may not think you are submissive, you likely think you are being "moral" or "high quality" etc. but women perceive it as weakness.

True assertiveness is VERY RARE.

But, you will of course disagree, and continue (as many on this forum do) to argue that it's not YOUR problem, it's those goddamn low quality women that have somehow taken over the Earth.

But just in case you are really interested in IMPROVING your results with women, (rather than getting validation that it's NOT your fault) then I would recommend that you ASSUME your problem is a lack of game/social skills/personality and work on improving yourself.

Consider this thread on the relationship between game and sales, for example. How good of a salesperson are you? Could you walk up to somebody cold and sell them something?

Girls aren't much different.

You need to SELL YOURSELF to girls.

Girls have the luxury of just showing and letting their looks do it for them.

Men do not.

You can't just show up and expect them to "choose you."

 

[bigdave17]

Your problem is general unhappiness......you think your perfect woman can cure this.

WRONG DIAGNOSIS

What can your perfect woman bring to the table?

Answer this and within you will find what the gaping holes in your existence represent. Work on those then see what's up

I think you guys have the wrong idea. I don't have any gaping holes in my existence except for 1 - I love my life. I enjoy my job, love my friends and family, I'm extremely grateful

love and sex is like air - it means nothing until you're not getting any. It's like an otherwise healthy person with a tumor in 1 small part of their body. You cut out the tumor and the person is extremely healthy

 

[bigdave17]

One of the most common issues men have with women is OVERESTIMATING their value to women.

You may not think you are submissive, you likely think you are being "moral" or "high quality" etc. but women perceive it as weakness.

True assertiveness is VERY RARE.

But, you will of course disagree, and continue (as many on this forum do) to argue that it's not YOUR problem, it's those goddamn low quality women that have somehow taken over the Earth.

But just in case you are really interested in IMPROVING your results with women, (rather than getting validation that it's NOT your fault) then I would recommend that you ASSUME your problem is a lack of game/social skills/personality and work on improving yourself.

Consider this thread on the relationship between game and sales, for example. How good of a salesperson are you? Could you walk up to somebody cold and sell them something?

Girls aren't much different.

You need to SELL YOURSELF to girls.

Girls have the luxury of just showing and letting their looks do it for them.

Men do not.

You can't just show up and expect them to "choose you."

I'm willing to approach women at bars but 95% of the time, I get blown out immediately before I have any sort of chance to get traction going. I'm not a weirdo - I don't say anything unusual.. I keep it fun and friendly and light.

I don't usually approach anywhere else because the difficulty level is usually immense. The gym is probably my favorite place of seeing the best quality women but the level of difficulty is crazy. I wouldn't approach women at a gym unless you look like a romance novel coverboy and even then, your odds of success are slim

I do go to a lot of concerts and sometimes approach women there but the general pattern stays the same as always- 1 in a 1000 like me and the 1 is never what I want.

 

[bigdave17]

I think you are pressing too much.

Women like the vibe of a fun, charismatic and care free successful guy.

absolutely, I agree 100%. Everybody likes that vibe

Recently I've been going to bars with an extremely confident and carefree vibe and I'm still getting blown out within 30 seconds with no chance to establish anything if I approach anybody decent in terms of the overall package. If I approach someone trashy or 10 years older than me, they stick to me like glue

Somebody decent package- meaning at least a 6 in looks, a little younger than me, in decent shape, etc... I'm not going for a supermodel

 

[exhausted]

absolutely, I agree 100%. Everybody likes that vibe

Recently I've been going to bars with an extremely confident and carefree vibe and I'm still getting blown out within 30 seconds with no chance to establish anything if I approach anybody decent in terms of the overall package. If I approach someone trashy or 10 years older than me, they stick to me like glue

Somebody decent package- meaning at least a 6 in looks, a little younger than me, in decent shape, etc... I'm not going for a supermodel

I feel your pain.
The market is rough.

 

[corrector]

I'm not looking for someone subservient to me. I want somebody who will be my equal in most areas - in terms of character, intelligence, etc....

but yes, people are beyond absolutely astonished when they get to know me and find out that I never date.

Why would they be subservient? Are you making racial stereotypes about yellow ladies?