how to get my ex gf back

[SBW]

OK, now she is texting and asking what to get in to drink for us tomorrow night - Wine or beer. Usually its a few bottles of wine.

 

[SBW]

I might have even went as far as asking her about her friend,like if she's single or not.

That really would have pushed her towards you.

Actually, we could be on to something here - One of her other colleagues has made it pretty clear that she likes the look of me and would like to know me a bit better if it dosen't work out. Hmmm....

 

[testsinner]

Wow, a 21 year old with the RockStar status, money and game to instantly seduce and fuk 40 women in less than 3 years by showing them the camping mattress he keeps in the back of his car. :crazy:

Reality: AFC gets his first taste of pusssy, falls in love and develops oneitis. AFC falls apart with neediness and insecurity. Girl finds AFC disgusting and dumps him. AFC panics and creates a fantasy list purportedly showing her all the women he as slept and shows it to her thinking this will win her back. She finds him even more disgusting. AFC goes completely nuts and creates a new fantasy that his game is so good that he nails 3 new girls in less than 2 weeks but still desperately wants his old gf back.

The final phase of this disaster is the stalking and subsequent court order as he is already justifying it in his mind with this gem: "shes playing hard to get telling me to move on but i still know she still cares."

yes i ****3d up lol sh1t i did was MAD AFC.. there is no fantasy only reality... don't have to self approve myself
she told me she was disgusted after i showed her the list right after she broke up with me and a few days after told me she was
never going to get back with me again
move on i can **** as many girls as i want
we used to talk on the phone everyday / texting so shes used to the attention
i stopped being available shes not priority anymore so she can work for it

reality is i still want her back took me 40 women+ intercourses to find true love

when she dumped me i did not do anything to win her back she saw pictures of me going clubbing dancing with girls and stalking my facebook

she even told me "you're not doing anything to win me back" like shes the prize

its been 3 weeks since the downfall

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Man I gotta get a white Lincoln Navigator and put a mattress in the back !

 

[Igetit!]

On the relationship side, she has been blowing hot and cold for several months. Sometimes it is on and things are great, then its off and we are back to being "friends".

I take it that the "things being great,then it's off and back to being "friends" "thing is her idea,and her doing.

She flip-flops back and forth between possible getting in a relationship with you and just being "friends",and while she's flip-flopping,you're just sitting there waiting for her to decide.

That's NOT good.

Yes, I do wonder why she keeps me hanging-around.

BINGO BABY!!! This is the key.


That one sentence speaks VOLUMES.


You say you wonder why she keeps you around. The question should be,"Why do YOU continue CHOOSING to stay around?".


Now I see why she won't commit to a relationship with you.

She doesn't have to.




You ever heard of the saying,"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? That's what's going on here.


She's ALREADY getting the benefits of being in a relationship with you RIGHT NOW,while she's single.



You two talk,spend time together,have sex from time to time. You've made it clear that you desire her. You talking and spending time with her fulfills her emotionally,and the occasional sex takes care of the physical.


And all of that WITHOUT being in a relationship.



Well if she's getting all of this without the commitment,then what's the point of getting commited/tied down?



What for? If she were to commit to you,what "extra" benefit would she get that she's not getting now?




This is actually a good setup for her.



There's no commitment. So whenever she gets tired of being around you,she can just walk off. She doesn't have to "break up" because there's nothing to break up from,there's no relationship.




This has been going on for months,and more than likely will continue to do so.



She's in COMPLETE CONTROL of this thing.

Yes, she does know I want a relationship and it was she who first raised it.

So she asked you if you wanted a relatioship with her,and you said yes.

Yeah,she "got" you here. It looks like she thinks you have all your hopes on her and you're not thinking about or pursuing any other women.

She knows she's the only woman on your radar screen.


This was a SEVERE error on your part.

Pretty much the progress was like this:

First date (with our arms round each other) - "Look, can we just be friends. I'm enjoying being single again just now and getting my life back together" To which I replied that I was certainly still a friend but she'd have to respect that I still found her pretty hot and I'd not pass-up the chance of going further if that happened.

Yeah,you see what I mean? She told you that you two could just be friends and that she's ENJOYING BEING SINGLE.


And your reply to her was COMPLETELY AFC.



She gave you the friends' speech and told you she wanted to be single,so you replied that you think she's was "hot" and still wanted to be with her?



You should have told her you respect her decision,that you hope everything works out for her,and just left.



That would have shown her that although you were interested in her,you're not going to put YOUR DATING LIFE on hold because she wanted to be single.



She would have realized that her hesitating could mean her losing her chance with you.



By telling her she was "hot",and that you weren't going to pass up a chance with her...AFTER SHE TOLD YOU she wanted to be just friends and remain single,you gave her the impression that you were just going to hang around until she was ready to date again so you'd have your chance with her.





And that's EXACTLY what you've been doing the pass few months,and that's EXACTLY WHY she won't commit to you. She doesn't have to.






What difference does it make? If she commits,you're there. If she doesn't and remains single,you're there as well.




The only difference is that the way things are now,she's free to come and go as she pleases.

Her reply was - "ok, I guess we can still kiss and cuddle a bit as friends! And we did, frequently!

Seems like a "friends with benefits" situation to me.

A few dates later, after a lot more fun and getting to know each other much better again, we were in a taxi with a friend of her's and he said something about us being a good couple - to which she replied - "maybe just maybe, I've been thinking about it a lot recently"

"Maybe",huh? She'll still be stuck on "maybes" next Thanksgiving.

Then (when we were cuddled-up on the sofa) she started talking about our upcoming holiday together and she asked what I'd think if she decided to sneak into my room one night. I told her I'd welcome it and said why bother waiting to find out and kissed her. That was it - we were into bed in no time. Then the next day, she pulled back and said we were not going any further just now.

Yeah,she used sex to sucker you in,then once she had you,she decided to pull back.


The fact that she has this kind of control over you lowers your chances you having a relationship with her.


She may have sex with a guy she can control,but as for a long term girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with both parties are commited to each other...probably not.

On the holiday, we had a great time and yes, we did spend a couple of nights together. After one of which, we had that chat and agreed about starting on the road to becoming a couple. After that her father was taken seriously ill, I had a lot of work to attend to and the stalker thing was coming to court, so she was pretty stressed. I did back off a bit but remained friendly and on hand if she needed anything. I also began to take a more active role in the lad's life as well.

Reading that made my spider sense tingle.

I get this feeling you're being used in all these different areas of her life....all areas EXCEPT being her "MAN",or significant other/boyfriend.



Hopefully I'm wrong,but I just don't get a good feeling about this.



The problem is simple. She takes you for granted.....BUT you can't blame her for doing this.



It was your Afc behavior towards her that makes her do so.



You continuing to hang around her AFTER SHE TOLD YOU SHE WANTED TO BE SINGLE was one reason for this.



It may be possible to turn this thing around,but it sure won't be easy.

 

[SBW]

OK, thanks for your clear and forthright opinions and I'm afraid that I'll have to put my hands up and say yes to almost everything you say.

except:

Yeah,she "got" you here. It looks like she thinks you have all your hopes on her and you're not thinking about or pursuing any other women.

She knows she's the only woman on your radar screen.

This was a SEVERE error on your part.



She may have sex with a guy she can control,but as for a long term girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with both parties are commited to each other...probably not.


It may be possible to turn this thing around,but it sure won't be easy.

No, not anymore, not since I arrived here and realised I needed to change a few things about myself - There are two other possibilities in my life now (not counting her pal), one of which appears very interested. She can thank herself for that too as I've sharpened myself-up a fair bit since meeting her again and met that woman one on one of the few nights she didn't want to go out with me.

And I would say that whilst yes, I have allowed her far too much control, I would also say that she has invested a fair bit herself, so its not been totally one way.

There is a reason for my letting her do that - her two LTRs have indeed been with extremely controlling and manipulative partners (to the point of abusive) and whatever I get into with her, I'd rather be not as bad as that.

She also doesn't realise that there is a reason I've discussed but not confirmed any other plans beyond our next holiday in March. I'd longsince decided that would be the point where I would re-assess myself and I would be quite prepared to walk away if things are the same. I'll take the holiday with her whatever as it is to somewhere we both have had a lifelong ambition to visit and I can't imagine anyone I'd rather go there with.

At the point she told me she was enjoying being single, I was not that concerned about a relationship either - I was still quite happy just to begin getting to know her again.

Ok, so how do you think I might begin to try and turn this round now. It may be difficult and eventually futile but I tend to be at my best when rising to a challenge.

 

[testsinner]

OK, thanks for your clear and forthright opinions and I'm afraid that I'll have to put my hands up and say yes to almost everything you say.

except:



No, not anymore, not since I arrived here and realised I needed to change a few things about myself - There are two other possibilities in my life now (not counting her pal), one of which appears very interested. She can thank herself for that too as I've sharpened myself-up a fair bit since meeting her again and met that woman one on one of the few nights she didn't want to go out with me.

And I would say that whilst yes, I have allowed her far too much control, I would also say that she has invested a fair bit herself, so its not been totally one way.

There is a reason for my letting her do that - her two LTRs have indeed been with extremely controlling and manipulative partners (to the point of abusive) and whatever I get into with her, I'd rather be not as bad as that.

She also doesn't realise that there is a reason I've discussed but not confirmed any other plans beyond our next holiday in March. I'd longsince decided that would be the point where I would re-assess myself and I would be quite prepared to walk away if things are the same. I'll take the holiday with her whatever as it is to somewhere we both have had a lifelong ambition to visit and I can't imagine anyone I'd rather go there with.

At the point she told me she was enjoying being single, I was not that concerned about a relationship either - I was still quite happy just to begin getting to know her again.

Ok, so how do you think I might begin to try and turn this round now. It may be difficult and eventually futile but I tend to be at my best when rising to a challenge.

she's letting u into her life again thats a good start
be alpha male... don't buy her anything
don't do everything she tells u to
say ur busy with work or school when she tries contacting u
hang out with other girls on the side
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN
just dont let her know that

my recent broke up with this start of thread
she told me she was the dominant one in the relationship
she had 2 ltrs too and she told me she never met a guy like me
such an ******* alpha male talk a lot of sh1t
i havent cried and she knows it...she wants me to feel bad and sad
but its not happening so she gets angry

but think about it this way
who gets the girl first?
the ******* or the nice guy
who is the girl going to remember more?
the ******* or the nice guy

 

[Disco]

can you get an ex back if she broke up with you?

 

[testsinner]

can you get an ex back if she broke up with you?

yepp just gota spit ur game like a volcano

 

[Igetit!]

No, not anymore, not since I arrived here and realised I needed to change a few things about myself - There are two other possibilities in my life now (not counting her pal), one of which appears very interested.

While this is good and everything,we're talking about what SHE thinks and what SHE perceives.

SHE has to know you have other interest and options besides her that you're seriously thinking about and considering.


And she need to find this out ON HER OWN.

And I would say that whilst yes, I have allowed her far too much control, I would also say that she has invested a fair bit herself, so its not been totally one way.

There is a reason for my letting her do that - her two LTRs have indeed been with extremely controlling and manipulative partners (to the point of abusive) and whatever I get into with her, I'd rather be not as bad as that.

Ok,I see your reasoning here and it makes sense.

Now here's where you screwed up...


You were thinking LOGICALLY.


You thought,"Well...the last two RELATIONSHIPS she was in were with controlling guys and she didn't like that. So I won't be like them. Instead of being controlling like those other guys,I'll let her have some control. That way she won't have to worry about being abused or anything like that".




Think about it for a moment...


If the past 5 guys she's dated were all jerks who she griped and complained about,then she meets you and you're a good,decent guy,it's UNLIKELY she'll date you.

LOOK: Her dating history tells you the type of guys she gets involved with.



If her past 5 boyfriends were jerks...uhhh...well?

Well does that tell you?



It tells you she's attracted to and dates jerks.



RULE NUMBER 1 on this forum:"Go by what a woman does,NOT by what she says".




I don't care how much she complained about and put down the guys in her past,she still dated them. They were still her boyfriends,and she was still their girlfriend.



She may have complained about them to you,and maybe they were a-holes,but you know what?

They got her to commit to them. It was "official".



Think about it....


She's resistant to you,a good person. She's hot and cold with you,the guy who's treating her with dignity and respect.



She's hot/cold,back/forth,can't decide with you,a decent person,yet she went full on and got into commited long term reltionships with guys who were controlling.


Uh...well?



LOL,you did what his forum PREACHES AGAINST.

You listened to her words.



If a woman says,"Urggg,every guy I date is a jerk!",then if you want to date her,you'd have to be a jerk,too.


If you're a good guy and you try to date her,it won't work. You know why?


Because like she said,"Every guy I date is a jerk".




You tried to be the opposite of what she complained about,but what she complains about is what SHE KEEPS CHOOSING.



You should have kept control...AND BE a decent guy.


It's not the jerkiness she's attracted to,it's the manliness,the dominance,the being in control. You could have retained all three of these traits,and STILL be a decent person,and she'd still have been attracted to you.



You slipped up. You gave up the control,which to women means you gave up the manliness.

Ok, so how do you think I might begin to try and turn this round now.

Do you two date? Or do you just "hang out"?

Also,when you two get together,is it always her deciding and making the plans,or do you call her sometimes,ask her to meet up with you,and she shows up?




Like I said,it maybe possible to turn this around,but you'll have to do some things that you WON'T want to do.


Edit:Listen to what Testsinner said as well.

 

[SBW]

she's letting u into her life again thats a good start
be alpha male... don't buy her anything
don't do everything she tells u to
say ur busy with work or school when she tries contacting u
hang out with other girls on the side
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN
just dont let her know that

Oh, I've been burned by that one long ago - Not bought her anything significant and that I was not prepared to give anyway. And on the couple of occasions she was skint and I took her out, she repaid the complement by taking me out the very next week when she had been paid. So on that front, things are equal.

I have tended to do what she asked but that is more because I tend to be easygoing. Think I'll be turning her down a bit more now.

Busy is no problem - I do have a busy job and have had to rearrange/turn down a lot of things to fit-in with her. That is about to stop I think.

Yup ,that has started and she's not going to know about it at all, unless I want to tell her/let her find out.

Thanks.

 

[SBW]

Again, nail.. on.. head... Yes, I recognise a whole lot of unpleasant truth in what you say.

Do you two date? Or do you just "hang out"?

Also,when you two get together,is it always her deciding and making the plans,or do you call her sometimes,ask her to meet up with you,and she shows up?

We date/go-out and yes, she does do what I want and goes to the places and events I go to often. She has also turned-up when I've called her out of the blue and asked to meet me somewhere I go to. The Sunday session thing is her day though and I do respect and go along with that.

I also think I know the places where I could go with someone else and it would get back to her - Thanks.

I think the situation is rough enough just now for me to consider things I won't want to do. Now, do I wait till she's back on for me to start or shall I get right in there? Maybe give the boy his weekend first?

One last thought - how much of this behaviour might be the result of conscious or subconscious motivation?

I seem to be locked out of more posts FTM, so I'll be back-on when the timeout allows.

 

[Igetit!]

Well,I know you can't reply because your out of posts,but you can still read though.

I think the situation is rough enough just now for me to consider things I won't want to do.

You sure about this?

Because one thing I've learned about dating is that to get a girl,you HAVE TO be willing to risk LOSING HER.


Are you at that point with her? Because there are a few things I'm sure you don't yet realize and understand.


My guess would be that the odds are in your favor of winning her over because there's an emotional connection there on her part...BUT there's still a chance of losing her.


This thing is this:You haven't been being a MAN with her,and she's gotten used to that. She's gotten used to you being around her and hanging around EVEN when she's flat out told you she didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to be just friends.




For you to suddenly stand up and start being a MAN means you going for what you want,and if she's not willing to give it to you,then YOU'RE WILLING TO WALK AWAY FROM HER and find a girl who will.


THAT...is being a man,and THAT'S what she wants to be in a RELATIONSHIP with.


She'll keep this "cat and mouse"/"hot and cold" thing going on because it's here,convient,and she's comfortable with it,but as for a COMMITMENT? No. She's going to save giving herself FULLY (that is her mind and heart,as well as her body) to a MAN.


And one of the best ways to show her you're a MAN is by showing her that YOU,that is your pride,your self-respect,your well-being,your willingness to go for what you want and not settle for less,that ALL OF THAT is MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX.


Sex is a woman's greatest weapon. So when she sees that her using sex has no effect on you,she'll respect you more,because if she can't control you with sex,then neither can any other woman.




You have to show her that you'd rather be alone than settle for what you DON'T WANT.



If you want a relationship,but she wants this "hot/cold,back/forth" thing,then you say,"Ok,well I hope you find someone who wants the same thing you do. Good luck with everything",then you move on,AND MEANT IT,that's what she'll be attracted to.



This is only part of what I meant by you doing things you won't want to do.



Now...you think you're still up for it???

 

[Jean Valjean]

intro about myself
i slept over with 40 woman im only 21. i had a white lincoln navigator the 3rd row i took it out and i put a mattress in there. no time to mess around... 1 date will get me laid. i tell them the same story "me and my friends went camping last week i didnt want to sleep on the floor so check this out". we get out from the front i open up the trunk and they go in and its game over.

anyways
i made a list and went on my myspace to recall how many girls i had sex with and formed a list when me and my ex gfs relationship was going down the drain

we been together for 6 months 1st she was chasing me and than it was mutual and than i started being a little biatch
it happens to the best of us but yeah i became needy
i still want her back but i think i messed up
this is my 1st real relationship i went through over 40 women to find a girl i love

i showed her the list and played like i didnt need her
i went out clubbing had sex with 3 girls already 2 of them i had sex before 1 new its been more than 2 weeks
she was so pissed she got angry and i think its too late to get her back
i tried pulling mad game out of my sleeves but im running out of ideas

shes playing hard to get telling me to move on but i still know she still cares

any ideas?
thanks

sounds very immature to flash your conquests like that, also makes you look insecure and trying to prove something

she may be a high quality girl and not into the immature stuff - got turned off
just learn your lesson and move on

 

[SBW]

Because one thing I've learned about dating is that to get a girl,you HAVE TO be willing to risk LOSING HER.

Are you at that point with her? Because there are a few things I'm sure you don't yet realize and understand.

Now...you think you're still up for it???

Been prepared to lose her right from the beginning TBH. However, she has been the first to come back every time that looked likely.

I need to understand plenty, yes. That is why I'm here.

Oh yes - well up for it.



And today, she seems to have let it get to her - She threw a major attention-getting strop. Which I at first ignored, then responded to after a series of increasingly desperate texts but let her know I was very pissed-off at having to re-arrange my day for her. She became very apologetic and all affectionate at that, so I pushed her back and got on with rearranging the stuff that concerned her boy, then told her what we are doing tonight.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

This sounds ALOT like the situation I had with my ex, kinda scary, IGETIT posted something similiar on a post I made once upon a AFC time.

I fought tooth and nail trying to figure out on which game I need to play in order to get my ex back but the emotional turmoil had been built up to such a level - where we both hated eachother. Both left external scars.

Its been 7 months since me and her broke-up and YET I STILL FVCKING GET thoughts about her like recently I just came back from holiday, you know you get those times when you're talking to your buddies but shes on your mind like, you should be here with me on holiday like we promised. It sucks balls dude.

I SAY! - going no contact is bullsh!t. Whether 2 months or 6 months down the line, what will it change? you're both going to move on anyway, pride speaks for itself if it reaches that long which shows that your both still not meant to be right now.

So fvck it and face the music - no doubt her friends aren't helping this situation I can only imagine the amount of hauling your getting right now. FVCK EVERYBODY dude.

 

[SBW]

Well, I let her know I was on my way, stopped for a coffee and arrived an hour and a half late. Ignored texts from her in between.

She opened the door to me in her underwear and is now getting into her hottest outfit.

Also had no qualms agreeing when I stated my plans for tonight.

Lets see how this continues.

 

[Igetit!]

Been prepared to lose her right from the beginning TBH. However, she has been the first to come back every time that looked likely.

Oh yes - well up for it.

Ok. Well....


The thing you need to understand is WHY this situation is the way it is.

There has been a failure,a weakness on YOUR PART.


All she's been doing is exploiting that weakness.


I might as well go ahead and tell you this now...once you start to "man up",and strengthen yourself in that weak area,she WILL NOT like it.



And her behavior will reflect that. She'll probably throw a fit or act a fool in an effort to get you to return to behaving the way you were before.


She may even threaten to "end things"...but it's ALL a front.


No matter what she says or does or how she behaves,YOU MUST REMAIN FIRM. And deep down,she's hoping you will.



She throwing a fit is just a test to see if this "new you" is for real or not.

She'll want to see if you suddenly being a man is genuine or just a front,so she act up to see if you'll cave.



You can't just go cold turkey. You'll need to gradually start asserting your manliness.




For one,if you have something you have already planned and she wants you to break it to do something with her,turn her down.




Like I said in a previous post,she's getting the milk for free. You need to STOP giving her relationship benefits while you two ARE NOT in a relationship.




Oh yeah,when you start this,she's going to use her GREATEST WEAPON on you to get you to cave....sex.


She may threaten to withhold sex from you. In that case,you'll just have to be strong and act like it doesn't bother you.



IF YOU CAVE,she'll keep this "hot/cold" thing going on...not forever,but until a guy comes along who she does want a relationship with,then you'll be history.


Don't cave in peroid. Not for sex,not for anything.



Once her attempt to get you with sex fails,then she'll get scared.


She'll start to think that you're losing interest.



When she sees that even sex didn't get you to crack,then the only thing greater than that she'll have to offer you is herself.


There's a GOOD CHANCE that when her trying to get you with sex fails,you are refusing to disrupt your life for her,and you seem more and more busy with other things,then she'll up the anty by suggesting you two get into a relationship.......BUT.....



Your work is not yet done. Her suggesting a relationship is yet another ploy to get you to crack.




So what you do is,you don't agree to getting into a relationship with her,you make her convince YOU about getting into a relationship.




If you do everything like I've suggested here,and she brings up the relationship talk with you,you respond to her with something like....


You:A relationship? Uhhh....well.....well look,I remember you saying something about how you were enjoying being single,and that's cool,I understand that. I mean the last thing you want to do after getting out of one relationship is to rush right in into another,right?

So if you need some time to get your head straight after just coming out of a relationship so soon,that's cool".


Now if she comes back at you telling you that she's ready for a relationship,that her head's clear and she's ready to move on,you be like...


"Are you sure? Because if you need more time,then take it".



If she says she's sure and insist that she's ready,THEN you can agree to getting into a relationship with her.




Does any of this make sense?





Once you start being a MAN,and controlling your own life,including being in charge of your DATING LIFE,SHE'S GOING TO ACT UP.



So you'll need to be ready for it.



Also,while all this is going on...PURSUE OTHER WOMEN.


And if she finds out,she finds out. It's none of her business anyway,it's not like you two are dating,right?




You'd like to date her,but she's being resistant. Well? What are you supposed to do,be alone until she makes up her mind?




By her "sensing" that you're losing interest,and in fact ARE PURSING OTHER WOMEN,it'll motivate her.



She'll realize that you're NOT just going to put your life on hold until she figures out what she wants to do,which basically is what you've been doing.



Not easy,huh?



Many,many men fail at this. Even I failed at it when I first started learning to be a MAN and control my own life instead of allowing my desire for women/sex to control me.



But it's DEFINATELY worth it.

You'll be a hundred times more attractive to women when they see you're a MAN in control of himself,instead of a boy being control by every "hot" girl who passes by in front of him.




Edit:I just saw your last post. So she showed up in her underwear,huh? LOL,she's getting desperate.

She played her trump card (sex) too early in the game. I knew she'd do that,but I thought it'd be later on.

 

[SBW]

Ok Igetit! not had a chance to reply to your post but - So far, according to her, I'm cruel, I'm a ****, I'm bad, she's telling her mother & I don't like her.

yet, she's back in her underwear & dancing round me singing songs & calling me a bastard while I ignore her & write this.

Oh and when we were out, I met an old gf and introduced her and went out of my way t chat-up & dance with another woman to the point where they were both giving each other serious evil looks.

And alhough we had a good long cuddle I've told her I've no intention of sleeping with her tonight.

That ok?

 

[Igetit!]

Ok Igetit! not had a chance to reply to your post but - So far, according to her, I'm cruel, I'm a ****, I'm bad, she's telling her mother & I don't like her.

Remember...."Go by what a woman does,NOT BY WHAT SHE SAYS.


Don't listen to her words,follow her actions.

yet, she's back in her underwear & dancing round me singing songs & calling me a bastard while I ignore her & write this.

What is this girl,a teenager or something? She sure does seem immature.

Oh and when we were out, I met an old gf and introduced her and went out of my way t chat-up & dance with another woman to the point where they were both giving each other serious evil looks.

This is good,but you don't want to seem like you're intentionally trying to hurt her or make her jealous. Make it all seem natural.

And alhough we had a good long cuddle I've told her I've no intention of sleeping with her tonight.

That ok?

You said that to her?

Look,you can't say anything DIRECTLY TO HER and expect her to "get it".

You need to communicate these things to her though YOUR BEHAVIOR.

You're ok,but instead of TELLING HER you weren't going to sleep with her,after you two got finished hanging out,you should have just dropped her off at her place and left.

If she had told you to come in to her place to "cuddle" for a while,you should have said something like you were tired,or had to get up early tomorrow so you had to go.


You see what I mean? You do that a few times on her,then she'll start to wonder why you no longer want to "cuddle" or seem interested in sex with her.



And like all women do,her mind will go straight thinking it's another woman.


You ignoring her,plus seeming to lose interest in sex with her,plus refusing to cancel your plans to be with her,will emotionally motivate her to try to claim you for herself.

Either that,or you'll lose her. But since she has an emotional connection to you,chances are she'll try to get you to commit to her instead of losing you.


Oh yeah,don't ignore every phonecall and every text.


You can respond,but respond with "politeness"...NOT INTEREST.



Remember,communicate with your ACTIONS,not directly with words.



If she ask you if you like her,be like,"Do I like you? What kind of question is that? Yeah,I like you. I think you're a nice person,and I'm sure there's a thousand guys out there who would love you date you".


You see what I did there? What I said here was true,but that's not what she wants. This girl already knows she's hot and there are 10 thousand guys out there who'd like to date her. She knows that.



She doesn't want 10,000 guys who want to date her,she wants YOU to want to date her. If she ask you if you want to date her,DON'T SAY YES.



Remember,the problem is she's getting relationship benefits without being in a relationship with you.




So you need to gradually withdraw those benefits.


Stop telling her that she's "hot".
Stop being available to her,withdraw your time.
Make it seem like you're losing interest in having sex with her. In other words,don't initiate anything sexual with her.


That's a BIG one. When she sees that you no longer try to hug her or kiss her or have sex with her,alarms will REALLY be going off in her head.


Do all this THOUGH YOUR BEHAVIOR AND ACTIONS...not your words.



And above all,PURSUE OTHER WOMEN.




You like this girl,and you'd like to date her,but she's refusing.


So you pull back your emotional investment. Make it seem like you're losing interest,and KEEP IT BACK until she decides she wants to date you.



But don't wait for her to decide. Meet and date other women. If she senses this,it'll motivate her to either raise her game or lose YOU.