Originally posted by Cesare Cardinali
It amazes me all these guys (Dr. Zaius and Francicso) who keep posting on these boards to simply say "if she's not attracted then there's nothing you can do about it".
Why are you guys even trying to learn this stuff if you hold this view? If there's nothing you can do about it then you might as well give up and hope and pray that by the grace of god some chick will be attracted to you, one day.
Now if you hold the view that there is something you can do about it, then there's promise. And quite frankly, I'm not talking about turning chicks that are repulsed by you into chicks that are interested. Clearly, this chick *was* attracted to him. She was attracted enough to give her number, accept a date, show up at the date, make out with him, etc.
If she told him to f*ck off when he asked for her number, I would have been the first to say "move on, there's nothing you can do" (although I would have also asked to know how he asked for the number).
Meanwhile, you guys are saying that she's not attracted and dismissing it even though the evidence shows that she was attracted. This signals to me that there was an overall problem in his game that caused her to bolt. Either that, or some circumstance that he can't control (ex boyfriend back in the picture, out of town, whatever).
Given that we can't control the latter and it serves no purpose for us as students of this art, then we're better of examining what he could have done wrong.
My take on where he f*cked up is as follows; every interaction needs to have a purpose and be viewed as a seduction. The date seemed to go well and her attraction looked like it was there. However, he f*cked up by:
1. Calling early Monday morning without anything concrete to say and acting like a f*cking dweeb. I'd be pissed off if some chick annoyingly did that to me just to make fun of my failed resolve to wake up early.
2. Here's the big one, he calls AGAIN on Monday with "hey it's me call me back" bullsh*t which is even worse because it presupposes that she should call him back when he's not really saying anything in the message that would indicated that a call back is required. Also, the "it's me" presupposes that you're taking your position in her life way too seriously where she should know who you are by your voice as if no other guys call her.
And the worse part is that it's so f*cking needy! Why should she call back in the evening when the message at an innapropriate time in the morning doesn't even require a call back?
By the time Friday rolls around it's already dead in the water and calling again is just pathetic.
What he should have done or should do for next time is call to set up another date. And the message should convey that. i.e. "Hey it's Bill, I had fun last Saturday hanging out with you; and I'm planning to go white water rafting next week and the team needs another person, so I thought you'd be perfect. Would you be game? Catch you later, oh yeah, hope the bike riding is going well".
That would come off as genuine, sincere, and non needy and anoying. This girl could already have been a little freaked out by getting so hot and heavy on the first date with a guy, and his message would clearly agravate the situation while what he should be aiming for is 'light and fun".
Ultimately, if he learns from this for next time, then it's good that this happened.
Cesare Cardinali
