Does "No Contact" really work?

[Mr. Wise]

She was walking out of the door while I was walking into the building using the same door. I should just pretend I don't see her and say nothing?

Plus it's true that was the last day I should ever see her again unless she works late.

I have trouble with what you've did in that case. Yes, I think you'd be the bigger man by acknowledging her but asking if she's "ok"? If I were her, I'd say, "of course!" You see in her eyes, you asking if she's ok shows you still care about how she feels - DON'T DO THAT. A simple smile and an enthusiastic "hi!" is all that's needed in that case. It shows you're a man and that whatever happened between the two of you in the past is just that - the past. Make her think you're over it and happy about it! Get it? If the opportunity arises again, that's what you should do IMO.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I have trouble with what you've did in that case. Yes, I think you'd be the bigger man by acknowledging her but asking if she's "ok"? If I were her, I'd say, "of course!" You see in her eyes, you asking if she's ok shows you still care about how she feels - DON'T DO THAT. A simple smile and an enthusiastic "hi!" is all that's needed in that case. It shows you're a man and that whatever happened between the two of you in the past is just that - the past. Make her think you're over it and happy about it! Get it? If the opportunity arises again, that's what you should do IMO.

I hear you but keep in mind that I witnessed her having a nervous breakdown a week ago.

 

[reset]

Next time say just say "hey." Or better yet just nod your head in impartial acknowledgement.

It's weak in the sense that you've spent all this time saying how you don't care then the first time you see her you blurt out wondering how she feels when you've already made her out to be the devil. But whatever. I'm just giving you a hard time. A couple years ago I would have sent an email begging to talk, lol.

lol.

......yeah.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Next time say just say "hey." Or better yet just nod your head in impartial acknowledgement.

It's weak in the sense that you've spent all this time saying how you don't care then the first time you see her you blurt out wondering how she feels when you've already made her out to be the devil. But whatever. I'm just giving you a hard time. A couple years ago I would have sent an email begging to talk, lol.

lol.

......yeah.

You know she seems so angry and bitter right now, maybe the next time I'll say

"Hey, you're not about to go shoot somebody are you?"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have trouble with what you've did in that case. Yes, I think you'd be the bigger man by acknowledging her but asking if she's "ok"? If I were her, I'd say, "of course!" You see in her eyes, you asking if she's ok shows you still care about how she feels - DON'T DO THAT. A simple smile and an enthusiastic "hi!" is all that's needed in that case. It shows you're a man and that whatever happened between the two of you in the past is just that - the past. Make her think you're over it and happy about it! Get it? If the opportunity arises again, that's what you should do IMO.

I think he's ok, she could assume that he still cares about her well being even though he doesn't. It helps to show him as a healthy male when he comes up in conversation at work between her and her girlfriends. Better he comes across as well adjusted and not bitter to counter any negative stories she tells about him. This falls into him showing (not just acting) that he's over it and has moved on, that'll get her goat.

 

[reset]

Your'e not angry and bitter though, cuz you moved on. Yeah you have to pretend you don't care but that's what happens.

You already know she's just waiting for you to break down so just commit right now and refuse to approach her because I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU'RE REALLY TEMPTED TO APPROACH HER AND WORK IT OUT. DON'T!!!!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I think he's ok, she could assume that he still cares about her well being even though he doesn't. It helps to show him as a healthy male when he comes up in conversation at work between her and her girlfriends. Better he comes across as well adjusted and not bitter to counter any negative stories she tells about him. This falls into him showing (not just acting) that he's over it and has moved on, that'll get her goat.

I can tell she has told her female friends at work, and one of them is a boss but thankfully they are all in different departments and I don't think they really care. But they look at me differently now it's obvious.

 

[Mr. Wise]

I hear you but keep in mind that I witnessed her having a nervous breakdown a week ago.

I wouldn't give a rat'sass what she had. Tell yourself this: Did she care about you when she ditched you? If she did or still does, she has your number. You have to learn to outwait her and never leave your guard down at this point. I have adopted a saying from the movie Boiler Room and it starts like this: "ACT AS IF...". Even if you still care, her IL did drop and she turned on you. By you showing you care, she'll sense it IMMEDIATELY. That will not raise her IL - just the opposite. So, "act as if" you're happy and life is great, even if you're miserable. See what I'm sayin'???

 

[Mr. Wise]

I think he's ok, she could assume that he still cares about her well being even though he doesn't. It helps to show him as a healthy male when he comes up in conversation at work between her and her girlfriends. Better he comes across as well adjusted and not bitter to counter any negative stories she tells about him. This falls into him showing (not just acting) that he's over it and has moved on, that'll get her goat.

I have trouble with that too. With all due respect, this one is war. I'd take no prisoner's here. Appearing as a "healthy male" can and should be done in other ways. Also, "coming across as well adjusted" in respect to his action doesn't raise her IL, it lowers it. Showing that he cares really doesn't show that he's over it. I've been in that situation from the girl's standpoint. It only made the chick I let go seem even more pathetic.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I see what you're saying but to tell you the truth I may never see the woman again. I think as long as I'm not calling her or chatting or texting there's no way she could think I'm still interested or care.

And she didn't answer to my question emphatically she said "im alright" under her breath.

 

[Latinoman]

No offence MNIN...but you should forget her. Stop being so AFC.

 

[Mr. Wise]

I see what you're saying but to tell you the truth I may never see the woman again. I think as long as I'm not calling her or chatting or texting there's no way she thinks I'm still interested or care.

It was the first thing I said to her in over a week.

If you're not going to see her anymore that'll work to your advantage for sure. I'm not dissin' you on what you said, that's done already. I'm just prepping you for the next time.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

No offence MNIN...but you should forget her. Stop being so AFC.

Just venting to my buddies on sosuave.. not much else to do right now except go shopping for clothes for my dates this weekend.

 

[Mr. Me]

A person that's truly moved on is completely indifferent.

When you're indifferent about someone, you don't think about them, post about them, need to vent about them, let alone analyze the look on their face and plan what to say to them the next time.

They become nothing but a long lost memory, like the color of the sweater you wore in second grade.

In fact, you're venting because you're continually thinking of her, which creates the feelings that need to be vented. Cut off the supply.

Get to that place by NOT thinking about her anymore. Think on other things, like your clothes shopping, force yourself to stop thinking of her when she pops into mind and think of something else.

"You can't stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop them from building a nest".

As long as you dwell on her, she dwells in you.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

A person that's truly moved on is completely indifferent.

When you're indifferent about someone, you don't think about them, post about them, need to vent about them, let alone analyze the look on their face and plan what to say to them the next time.

They become nothing but a long lost memory, like the color of the sweater you wore in second grade.

In fact, you're venting because you're continually thinking of her, which creates the feelings that need to be vented. Cut off the supply.

Get to that place by NOT thinking about her anymore. Think on other things, like your clothes shopping, force yourself to stop thinking of her when she pops into mind and think of something else.

"You can't stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop them from building a nest".

As long as you dwell on her, she dwells in you.

I completely agree, great post. But is it possible to "completely" move on before I hook up with another woman? I don't think so. So the lesson here is don't waste time moping around, the sooner you get another woman the sooner you are over it.

I cringe that I have spent YEARS of my life moping around thinking about a girl that dumped me.

I just tacked on a 3rd date with another woman early next week. And another girl is texting me saying she is sorry she missed my call last night and is asking me to call her. But I have enough on my plate right now plus it's the weekend.

If this woman didn't dump me none of this would have happened and I'd be chasing after a crazy divorcee. She did me a HUGE favor I may just write that thank you letter.

I expect to be "completely" moved on by the end of the week and if all goes well by the end of tomorrow night. These are all first dates but it's going to be good I can feel it.

This thread is turning into a journal. May as well keep my progress posted.

 

[Mr. Me]

is it possible to "completely" move on before I hook up with another woman? I don't think so.

It has to be so.

If you have to depend on another human for your well being, you will never be in control of your life journey.

What does having another woman give you except a placebo, a distraction? There is no guarantee that things will work out with the next woman. And when she leaves, then what? Be not completely whole because she's not there anymore and need yet another woman in order to move on yet again?

Anyway, you're dodging the question. A person that's truly moved on is completely indifferent. You think on her and post about her and so have not moved on. Getting involved with yet more women this weekend doesn't change you. It only adds more women and the distraction they bring, to your orbit. You're still the same person on Monday that you were today.

 

[reset]

Getting involved with yet more women this weekend doesn't change you. It only adds more women and the distraction they bring, to your orbit. You're still the same person on Monday that you were today.

True for me too.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...This thread is turning into a journal. May as well keep my progress posted.

You should at least let the forum know a little more about what has happened in the last few days since you've decided to moved on.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I signed up on a dating site and wrote a really good ****y and funny intro email and sent it out to over 100 women in my area. I put in my profile I make 75,000 a year and I have gotten more responses than I know what to do with. I also have a really funny good profile.

One girl emailed me this morning 2 pages saying "she prayed to god to get an email like mine" And the title of her email was "I WANT TO MEET YOU"...it is really strange I'm thinking it could be a scam we'll see. I asked her for the digits.

A girl texted me this morning saying she "dreamed" about me last night I haven't even met her yet.

I have over 10#'s in my phone and I am losing track what I have sent to who and which ones I have talked to. I have 3 dates set up so far. And other girls texting me practically begging me to call them but I am getting confused too much going on.

I only have 3 pics in my profile and I am not stacked or ripped or anything. I'm in decent shape but that's about it decent not great.

Chatted with one last night and complimented her lips she said "wait until you see what I can do with them"

YIKES!

Would never have done this if she didn't dump and humiliate me. Let's see how many plates I can get.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Fellas, we have released a beast.... :nervous: