Does "No Contact" really work?

[My Name is Nobody]

Fellas, we have released a beast.... :nervous:

Supposed to have that drinking date tonight but I just called her to cfm and her cell is off. Typical female games they always do that. Probably a test to see if I will leave 20 emails or v/ms and blow it.

I did leave a v/m saying i'm going to the bar around 9 and she should come by she'll have fun.

Should I try calling her again or just show up at the bar and see if she shows?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Nevermind!

She just texted me "looking forward to meeting you tonight" and she'll "call me when she gets to the bar"

It's going down! Like I said when I do things I am extreme one way or another.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Nevermind!

She just texted me "looking forward to meeting you tonight" and she'll "call me when she gets to the bar"

It's going down! Like I said when I do things I am extreme one way or another.

Dude, shades of your old self is peeking out and it'll definitely pull you back down. :nono:

One thing you can do is concretely set up your meeting. None of this BS to call to confirm. What are you doing, giving her an opportunity to change her mind???

"I will meet you at (location) at (time)."
​

Either she will agree or she won't. This calling to confirm does not work to your advantage, plus it allows you to freak out wondering whether or not she will accept.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Dude, shades of your old self is peeking out and it'll definitely pull you back down. :nono:

One thing you can do is concretely set up your meeting. None of this BS to call to confirm. What are you doing, giving her an opportunity to change her mind???

"I will meet you at (location) at (time)."
​

Either she will agree or she won't. This calling to confirm does not work to your advantage, plus it allows you to freak out wondering whether or not she will accept.

True very true. When we left off talking Thursday she told me to call her Saturday and I said I would. Looks like I got by this time, and she didn't change her mind.

I was thinking about how people say to tell her you are doing something and offer her to join you but I didn't do it right.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

OK check out the email this woman wrote to me about "praying to god"

THIS CANNOT BE REAL tell me its a scam but her profile and pic look real.

Hi ---------,

I am so pleased you wrote back. I am new at this and a little uncomfortable with the whole process. I have had about 60 hits on my sight since last week when I took the plunge and signed up. However, no one has caught my attention the way you have. First, just to look at you is like looking at creation itself. A model of beauty and light, your eyes are so full of life they speak of his wonder and model his idea of beauty. Your face is like that of an artist's imagination of what beauty is...As I read your profile, I was profoundly moved by the ease with which you describe yourself and your detailed creation of what a desirable mate would be for you. It is not often you have the opportunity to see so deeply into a person's soul with mere words. I am so moved by your writings and your candor. It takes a great deal of character and courage to open yourself up pub licly to share such intimate thoughts.You have captured my heart in a way I have not known before. I have prayed forever for God to send to me a man of such beauty and caliber. And although I do not know if you are the guy of my prayers, you do affirm my faith in the almighty so far.I am not so eloquent in my writing nor am I able to describe to you a person of such quality in speaking about myself. I am a shy fellow, not easily given to talking about myself. I would much rather talk about others and listen to stories and opinions they have. I am a bit modest in my portrayal of who I am. I am more of a person of action then of speech. I think my life speaks more about who I am then words could ever do. I don't enjoy boasting or bragging on my accomplishments. I feel unworthy of such talk. If you were to meet me at a party you would say, she is fun, she makes me laugh and she notices everything. She is kind and thoughtful and puts others above himself. I do have faults, I need atten tion, I need someone who notices the care I offer, and someone who appreciates the kind attention I offer. I do not enjoy people who take advantage of my kindness and talk incessantly about themselves. They rob me of my energy without regard for my own deep longing for love. A relationship of love requires taking time to notice things unspoken. Acts of kindness and love.I love to shower such kindness with encouragement, re-assurance and genuine no fluff direct recognition. I love to feed a loving person.Communication is the key to a successful relationship, and it has to be honest but always respectful and loving.I really write different then I talk. I am a loving and caring lady, and my writing is more of a heart expression. I hope you know what I mean., you give me hope that there are genuine handsome men still left out there in the world who love the Lord, and appreciate talk from the heart.Forgive me if I seem to come on to you too strong. It is not my intention. I don't want t o scar e you away thinking I am odd. I just know so far I love what I see in you.God Bless you in your quest for love. I will be keeping you close to me in prayer. And I would love to meet you one day when we are both more comfortable with each other.Thank you for lighting up my world, even if it is just for a while.Here is my yahoo screen name if you want to chat with me....----------------you can also email me at my yahoo personal address ------------- hope to hear back from you..----------

 

[reset]

I don't know if it's a scam but that would scare the hell out of me.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I don't know if it's a scam but that would scare the hell out of me.

LOL no joke. Notice how "she" refers to herself as "a shy fellow" interesting. I asked for the digits anyway.

According the the profile she lives close to me not in some other country so how could it be a scam? Plus it's a pay site do the scammers use pay sites?

 

[reset]

Yeah I picked up on that. Wow, good luck with that one.

Does a chick like that really appeal to you or are you just looking to hit it?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yeah I picked up on that. Wow, good luck with that one.

Does a chick like that really appeal to you or are you just looking to hit it?

She sounds crazy I don't need any more drama in my life but I'd be willing to meet her and see what she's like. I told her she is "interesting and unique and not like other girls"..and asked for the digits lol. Why not I'm on a roll.

I'll just make sure we meet in a crowded shopping mall.

 

[Mr. Me]

shades of your old self is peeking out

What "old self"? He's still the same self. It takes longer than few days to develop the new self, and if he does, these newer ladies are the ones to practice the new self on.

When we left off talking Thursday she told me to call her Saturday and I said I would. Looks like I got by this time, and she didn't change her mind.

When she told you two days ago to call her today regarding tonight, that was a flag. Now she's not spoken to you, but texted you instead about calling you when she gets to the bar tonight... that still isn't giving me a good vibe. Just my spidey senses. Hope she shows and that she comes alone.

Here's an excerpt from a typical date posted on craigslist, entitled, "It's Me! Every girl ever."

"Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now."

It's a riot. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/471580402.html

According the the profile she lives close to me not in some other country so how could it be a scam?

Uhhhhh... because they post a fake profile and lie?

The incorrect use of the word "fellow" and other grammatical errors are indicative of its author not being fluent in English. That "she" can glow so much about you and doesn't even know you is to feed your ego and suck you in. Be real!

One night I was getting IMed by some person claiming she was stuck in a hotel in S. Africa or wherever it was and needed to get funds to pay off the bill so that she could leave the country and she was offering to come be my wife!!! I played along for a little while to see what they do, because outside of an email from the Treasurer of some country always asking me to park millions of dollars from their country in my bank account, I've never received a scam before. What a hoot! She even gave me the "hotel manager's" phone number to call so that I could give him my credit card info! That's when I busted her and called it a night.

So, I'm guessing they have phone numbers. I'm further guessing that they'll take it as far as they need to to get your cash.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

What "old self"? He's still the same self. It takes longer than few days to develop the new self, and if he does, these newer ladies are the ones to practice the new self on.



When she told you two days ago to call her today regarding tonight, that was a flag. Now she's not spoken to you, but texted you instead about calling you when she gets to the bar tonight... that still isn't giving me a good vibe. Just my spidey senses. Hope she shows and that she comes alone.

Here's an excerpt from a typical date posted on craigslist, entitled, "It's Me! Every girl ever."

"Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now."

It's a riot. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/471580402.html



.

I am worried she is going to show up with friends as well. What do I do if that happens?

 

[reset]

That link was hilarious.

 

[Mr. Me]

I am worried she is going to show up with friends as well. What do I do if that happens?

Interesting that you got that sense too... hmmm...

If it happens...

You smile and say, "hey, I don't want to mess up your plans for tonight! You want to be with your girl friends. Okay! Let's talk another time. Bye!"

And then LEAVE. Even if she says, "No, don't go! Blah blah blah blah!" and implores you to stay and says she'll ditch her friends and yadda, yadda. Leave! "Oh, that's okay. I know you're trying to be nice, but really, I don't want you to ignore your girl friends on my account! Bye!" And never call her again.

If she's there with friends, it was planned. And her friends will be c*ckblockers and you have to entertain them ALL instead of being one-on-one with her. DON'T accept that situation. You're NOT on a group date! You'll stand around vying for her attention and at the end of the night she'll leave with her friends. DON'T DO IT. Grow some b@lls and do it... if it happens.

If she even shows up. If she doesn't show, get more numbers while you're out tonight, but don't call her!

This may be a test of the New You for the New Year! LOL

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Interesting that you got that sense too... hmmm...

If it happens...

You smile and say, "hey, I don't want to mess up your plans for tonight! You want to be with your girl friends. Okay! Let's talk another time. Bye!"

And then LEAVE. Even if she says, "No, don't go! Blah blah blah blah!" and implores you to stay and says she'll ditch her friends and yadda, yadda. Leave! "Oh, that's okay. I know you're trying to be nice, but really, I don't want you to ignore your girl friends on my account! Bye!" And never call her again.

If she's there with friends, it was planned. And her friends will be c*ckblockers and you have to entertain them ALL instead of being one-on-one with her. DON'T accept that situation. You're NOT on a group date! You'll stand around vying for her attention and at the end of the night she'll leave with her friends. DON'T DO IT. Grow some b@lls and do it... if it happens.

This may be a test of the New You for the New Year! LOL

Good idea that's what I'll do. I was going to just stick around and pretend like I'm having fun if she showed up with her friends. That would be a big mistake, thanks.

I'll let you know what happens.

 

[Interceptor]

I am worried she is going to show up with friends as well. What do I do if that happens?

The 'friends' circumstance is the Consensus Phase of the date. She wants to get an 'outside opinion' of you. According to their review, she may or may not consider going out with you again.

be friendly with the Friends. Always. Do not hang back, or be anti social. It's a covert interview. She's going to ask them what they thought about you. Depending on what they say it will be Pass or Fail for you.
If anything get really engaged with them, ask them questions and joke around with them a little more.


EDIT: having said that, I am not telling you to be ther with them all night. I would never tell a guy to hang in there if it's a WASTE of his TIME. No.

Don't hang around if it's NOT making YOU HAPPY.

As for ME, I am not bothered and cetainly NEVER 'worry" at all if she 'shows up with frineds" or we go someplace where her 'friends are". I really am not phased either way. Thats just me.

In addition, you NEED to QUICKLY ASSESS this female's Value to you. If she's boring and uninterestign, and/or you see that you are not compatibel or have anything in common, then just be social. And as a general rule, NEVER ever ever EVER 'qualify" your SELF to HER or ANYONE. NEVER.

I would also say that being to quick to show Offense "I'm leaving now! You are ignoring me! Waaaaa! You hurt my fragile little ego, b*tch! I hate you! Where's my mommy??!!" is not a good thing to do.

I personaly go by a rule, when in doubt, of asking myself 'Would a High Value/Sex Worthy Man act this way?"

I would also like to add,that whatever I suggest is often base on MY Confidence Level. And understanding of my 'game'.
So what works for me, may not work for someone else.
So when I give advice, it is usually aimed at making sure that the guy is representing himself as the sex worthy high value masculine man.
the Man's man.
But sometimes this is not good for some guys.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

OK so Mr Me says LEAVE and Interceptor says STAY with the friends.

Now I'm torn.

 

[Mr. Me]

The 'friends' circumstance is the Consensus Phase of the date. She wants to get an 'outside opinion' of you.

Not on the first few dates. Your job is to get *her* to like you more, not her friends, not yet. Her friends could be c#ckblockers. Happened to me last night.

I'm talking to this gal at a bar, just happened to approach her while she was getting a drink. While I'm talking to her, her GF comes up and starts asking me hard questions. I handled it fine, but who needs that crap right away? Having a nice little chat and a drink and then out of nowhere WHAM right in the ribs by her dyke friend.

Meet the friends down the line AFTER she's crazy about you, because THEN when her c*ckblocking GF gives you a hard time, SHE'LL defend you, instead of having her opinion of you melded by her GFs.

Edited to add: I can think of more reasons... conversely, what if one of her friends likes you and wants you for herself? Then she flirts with you and your date gets ticked off? Who needs that? Or what if the friend likes you, and then tries to sabotage your budding relationship by telling your date why you're not good enough? Or like what happened to me last night, some don't want to lose the company of their GF to you, maybe she's the only one out of the group that attracts the guys for them...We are dealing with a tricky, stealthy species here, you know...

I was going to just stick around and pretend like I'm having fun if she showed up with her friends.

Lordy, lordy, no. You'd have to be a better actor than she is to pull that off. She'll know you're acting. Besides, then you're really just being her puppet performing for her benefit all night.

And if you get shot down by just one other gal while you're there, that's it! Your date and her friends will be laughing their asses off and see you as a loser.

By leaving, and remaining cool about it, she'll see that you aren't fazed by her, you don't need her. She can't get to you. She'll also see that she can't manipulate you to hang around. That's great stuff right there. Other people are watching. There may be some other gals there that see this and think, "that guy's cool."

By leaving, you're free to go do whatever instead of performing for her all night pretending to have fun. Pick up other girls somewhere else, that's your compensation. Plus, she may wonder what you're doing if you don't hang around to obviously satisfy her curiosity about it.

Be the first guy she's ever encountered that doesn't bend to her whims. It's a new year, man. Time for a new start to things.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

A agree w/ Mr Me. I am expecting to see her alone she has not told me anything about bringing friends so it's disrespectful if she does. If she told me about it beforehand it's another story.

I don't think she will bring friends but who knows. She may just have friends "spying" on the entire date and not tell me they are there lol.

 

[Interceptor]

Your job is to get *her* to like you more

Er, maybe that's YOUR 'job".

NOT Mine.

that's called qualifying. I don't do it.

Good luck, bro.


Also, realize that a lot of guys can lose a perfectly 'good' girl who happens to be less experienced in dating.
Since she's not a town tramp, she's a little hesitant about the guys she DOES date.
You could be potentially missing out on a good girl by skiping out because she has some freinds there tohelp her get a better picture of you.

"OMG, I so need you attention and validaton. That if you don't give me EVERYTHING I will just leave in a huff!"

These women are often pretty much strangers.
To expect devotion or loyalty or things like that from a chick on your first date is not correct.

Here's where we may be getting conflicting views.

When you ask a woman out on a 'date" ( this is preferably AFTER you have already gone and "MET" her someplace for coffee first IMHO) then you and she AGREED to an exclusive DATE with just you two. No one else.
THAT HAS to be stated clearly.

Ok?

Now, IF she 'brings frineds along on THAT date, THEN you can decide if you have been 'offended' and 'disrespected" and do what you feel is necessary to fulfill what makes you happy.

I have no Ego to crush or harm, so I may act differently to the same circumstance.
Having said that, if it gets stupid, and it's obvious she's playing games and I'm not in the mood, especially if she has little VALUE, I may exercise the option of bailing.



I have been in the "Oh, hey my friends are here!" and I just charmed them too.
But like I said, I look at things differenlty than a lot of guys

 

[Interceptor]

A agree w/ Mr Me. I am expecting to see her alone she has not told me anything about bringing friends so it's disrespectful if she does. If she told me about it beforehand it's another story.

I don't think she will bring friends but who knows. She may just have friends "spying" on the entire date and not tell me they are there lol.

I agree too.
But did you state the exclusivity?

No?

Then STOP 'expecting".


IF so, then you already know what to do.

Dude, it's no sweat off your back, man.

Don't sweat this micro managing sh*t.