Does "No Contact" really work?

[My Name is Nobody]

Well you both have good points. I'll just go with the flow. You're right when I think about dates too much is when I get anxious and uptight and I screw it up. I'll show up early have a few pints of beer and I'll be good.

 

[Mr. Me]

Not too long ago I read a post on the plentyoffish forum, some poor chump lamenting about how he had a date and she shows up with friends. She basically ignores him but, being a chump, he hangs around all night, hoping, right?

She gives him just enough attention tid bits, the carrot to keep him hanging on. At the end of the night, she asks him to drive her friend home and that she was going to hang and stay with her other friends. Being a "nice guy", that's what he ended up doing, and of course, he's royally pissed.

Poor schmuck posts and asks what to do about that. But you know, these situations are really about Prevention, not Damage Control. All I'm saying is don't open the door to where these situations can then breed. Run a tight ship instead. Less headaches that way.

that's called qualifying. I don't do it.

No, that's called "raising her interest level".

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Not too long ago I read a post on the plentyoffish forum, some poor chump lamenting about how he had a date and she shows up with friends. She basically ignores him but, being a chump, he hangs around all night, hoping, right?

She gives him just enough attention tid bits, the carrot to keep him hanging on. At the end of the night, she asks him to drive her friend home and that she was going to hang and stay with her other friends. Being a "nice guy", that's what he ended up doing, and of course, he's royally pissed.

Poor schmuck posts and asks what to do about that. But you know, these situations are really about Prevention, not Damage Control. All I'm saying is don't open the door to where these situations can then breed. Run a tight ship instead. Less headaches that way.



No, that's called "raising her interest level".

I wont leave immediately I'll have a beer with her friends, then I'm out.

 

[Interceptor]

Not too long ago I read a post on the plentyoffish forum, some poor chump lamenting about how he had a date and she shows up with friends. She basically ignores him but, being a chump, he hangs around all night, hoping, right?

She gives him just enough attention tid bits, the carrot to keep him hanging on. At the end of the night, she asks him to drive her friend home and that she was going to hang and stay with her other friends. Being a "nice guy", that's what he ended up doing, and of course, he's royally pissed.

Poor schmuck posts and asks what to do about that. But you know, these situations are really about Prevention, not Damage Control. All I'm saying is don't open the door to where these situations can then breed. Run a tight ship instead. Less headaches that way.



No, that's called "raising her interest level".

I agree with all of this, except your definition of Raising IL.

Anytime you are trying to "GET" you are taking, not demonstrating.

Anytime you are trying to GET something from HER, that is under the banner of Qualifying.
Why?
Because you are trying to GET her to 'like you."

As opposed to Demonstrating your High Value, and Mascuilinity, in which SHE DECIDES (not you) if she wants a piece of you or not.
IMO Only NEEDY guys feel the need to Qualify and GET women to 'like them."

Thats MY take on it.

 

[Mr. Me]

Interceptor, we're quibbling over a word. I meant what you meant, we just used different words to get there. Sorry about the incorrect message my using the word "get" inferred.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I just sent her a text and said "MAKE SURE YOU COME ALONE"































gotcha!!!

 

[Interceptor]

Interceptor, we're quibbling over a word. I meant what you meant, we just used different words to get there. Sorry about the incorrect message my using the word "get" inferred.

cool, bro.
I agree with your premises too.
Just that it is so important to make these distinctions BEFORE the interactions. Like you said, it's all about running a 'tight ship".

And all this is about setting and maintaining certain VALUES as a Man.
Inner game foundations, Mr. Me.
"I will not supplicate."
"I will not beg"
"I am not needy"
"I do not seek validation"
"I am not emotionally atached."
..etc.
All these things MUST be self reflected upon. So that your "mental house" won't be 'a shack."


To avoid all thes pitfalls and just enjoy yourself with a woman, not having to micro manage every little detail in real time.

 

[Mr. Me]

I just sent her a text and said "MAKE SURE YOU COME ALONE"... gotcha!!!

If by any chance your "gotcha" is directed to her and not us...

First of all, if she comes with friends, she'll tell you she never got the message.

Secondly, this makes you sound like a creepy control freak psycho. Maybe you are! Trying to control the outcome (by controlling the people) is what you're doing here.

Thirdly, by trying to run her play, you're not permitting her to show you her cards. You have to sit back and let things play out. What if she was going to have her friends run interference but now decides not to? That doesn't mean she'll be more into you than before, it just means now she knows she needs to up her game, but now you wouldn't know if it's that or not.

You can't let on that you know what her game may be. You have to see if she'd play it or not. Then, be prepared to volley back.

What if she WASN'T going to bring her friends? Now you'll never know for sure. You just HAD to interfere and contaminate the playing field. You have no self-control. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't show up.

Rather than dictating to others how you want them to be, it's better to be hands off, and if it turns out that they pull crap or they raise flags - GREAT!!! You can next them and move on to something hopefully better rather than waste more time like you did with little Ms. Drama Queen Co-Worker.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Oh man.

First of all, if she comes with friends, she'll tell you she never got the message.

Secondly, this makes you sound like a creepy control freak.

Thirdly, trying to run her play, you're not permitting her to show you her cards. What if she was going to have her friends run interference but now decides not to? That doesn't mean she'll be more into you than before, it just means now she knows she needs to up her game

You can't let on that you know what her game may be. You have to see if she'd play it or not.

What if she WASN'T going to bring her friends? Now you'll never know for sure. You just HAD to interfere. You have no self-control.

DUDE I WAS JOKING!

I put "gotcha" at the end of that post LOL. I would never actually send that message.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Alright guys I'm leaving work getting ready to head out. Wish me luck!

 

[guru1000]

OK so Mr Me says LEAVE and Interceptor says STAY with the friends.

Now I'm torn.

Hey NMIN,

Who gives a F*Ck.

Do what you feel is right. Either you are overly sensitive or you are not.

Personally , I couldn't care less if she brought all her friends and family. If you are the PRIZE, she had better hope her friends and family are QUALIFIED to meet you.

Don't over analyze! BE YOURSELF. Even though you are not a CONFIDENT MAN right now, you need to go through the motions to get there.

Most importantly, STAND FOR SOMETHING. Do not compromise your own RULES OF INTEGRITY. That is how you make a decision of what is proper or improper.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I'm not even sure she has any friends in this town she just got out of college and we live in the middle of nowhere.

We'll find out soon I guess.

 

[Mr. Me]

DUDE I WAS JOKING!

Hey, you know what? Not a problem, some guy some time is going to come upon this thread and maybe what I posted, even though it was spurred on by you joking, will help him, you know?

Have fun tonight. Be cool.

 

[Interceptor]

Hey NMIN,

Who gives a F*Ck.

Do what you feel is right. Either you are overly sensitive or you are not.

Personally , I couldn't care less if she brought all her friends and family. If you are the PRIZE, she had better hope her friends and family are QUALIFIED to meet you.

Don't over analyze! BE YOURSELF. Even though you are not a CONFIDENT MAN right now, you need to go through the motions to get there.

Most importantly, STAND FOR SOMETHING. Do not compromise your own RULES OF INTEGRITY. That is how you make a decision of what is proper or improper.

My name is Interceptor and I approve of this message.


Absolutely agree 100%.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

WHAT A NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I went to the bar early and some bar rat started talking to me so I was just waiting for the girl to arrive.

She called me and I went outside to meet her and we went inside and drank a few beers and it went good!!!!

I got her to come back to my house and we f/cked!!! Not much more to say she is HOT as f/ck she is only 21 and I did her doggystyle and she thanked me for making her cumm good. I ate her out and it was delicious!!!

I wanted her to stay but she said she had to go home tonight .. I protested because she had been drinking but she went anyway... and she just left I wanted her to stay...I can't even believe it myself this girl was willing and ready and I may be in love for real.. she is beautiful NO "myspace angel" she is thin and hot and everything I could imagine...

IT WAS A GOOD NIGHT!!!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Now for my coffee date with Plate # 2. I really need some coffee too.

My old self would be worrying and caring about this new girl, when to call her.., when to text her, when to... whatever..... We have alot in common actually. She likes the same music, she likes to smoke weed, there's really nothing not to like..She is in another world compared to the lame girl this thread is about.


But I am going to NOT call..

NOT text...

NOT chat...

And NOT blow it like all the other guys and she is going to wonder what the hell I am doing.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Now if I could just find my nice watch.... damn...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know if it's a scam but that would scare the hell out of me.

Guys, if you get a note from a woman and it doesn't mention anything about your profile just skip it. It's either:

• Spam
• A general form letter from an AW
• A note from a woman with very low IL (or IQ) who has little to no conversation skills

By the way, these are the reasons why most women won't respond to your generic emails, it's a waste of their time too.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have trouble with that too. With all due respect, this one is war. I'd take no prisoner's here. Appearing as a "healthy male" can and should be done in other ways. Also, "coming across as well adjusted" in respect to his action doesn't raise her IL, it lowers it. Showing that he cares really doesn't show that he's over it. I've been in that situation from the girl's standpoint. It only made the chick I let go seem even more pathetic.

And with that mindset (war) you automatically place your frame as one which is under attack and needs to defend himself. You are placing yourself into a lower position. Indifference done correctly (which doesn't mean avoidance to the point of changing your livelihood) works best. Letting something like his past experience with her effect his compassion is giving her control over his interaction with his reality. That's not healthy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Interesting that you got that sense too... hmmm...

If it happens...

You smile and say, "hey, I don't want to mess up your plans for tonight! You want to be with your girl friends. Okay! Let's talk another time. Bye!"

And then LEAVE. Even if she says, "No, don't go! Blah blah blah blah!" and implores you to stay and says she'll ditch her friends and yadda, yadda. Leave! "Oh, that's okay. I know you're trying to be nice, but really, I don't want you to ignore your girl friends on my account! Bye!" And never call her again.

Ugnh... You guys are acting like a bunch of girls... You're planning for the worse by retreating, very masculine.

If she's there with friends, it was planned. And her friends will be c*ckblockers and you have to entertain them ALL instead of being one-on-one with her. DON'T accept that situation. You're NOT on a group date! You'll stand around vying for her attention and at the end of the night she'll leave with her friends. DON'T DO IT. Grow some b@lls and do it... if it happens.

You ever hear of the story about a bull and his son sitting on top of a hill overlooking a herd of cows in the valley? The young bull tells his father "Hey dad, lets run down there and fvck one of those cows." His wise father answers "No son, lets walk down there and fvck all of them."

If she even shows up. If she doesn't show, get more numbers while you're out tonight, but don't call her!

Do women flake on you often?