Does "No Contact" really work?

[My Name is Nobody]

Me neither. I'm just bored at work I hope this isn't monitored.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have decided if she contacts me again I am going to turn her down. I'll tell her she had her chance and I've moved on.

That still sounds like you're bitter.

I've always wanted to do that to a woman like this.

Yep, you're still bitter.

It would probably make her want me more than ever.

Why?

Not saying I think she will contact me, but just sayin'...Thanks for kicking some sense into me.

Going back to her after this would be a horrible move and it would go against everything this site stands for. I have to set a good example.

Write this down and put it in your wallet.

"No, thanks. I'm not interested."
​

If she approaches you for a get together just hand it to her.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You think I should block her and remove her from my IM? I have this strange curiosity because I can tell she has NOT deleted me from her IM. I use a certain Instant messenger and if you get deleted it tells you. I am still on her list so I can use it to get the upper hand if she is online and tried to talk to me I can use that to my advantage. Yeah yeah I know I should delete her but what good would that do? I will still know in the back of my mind she has me on her list and wonder if she is online.

And the way she was acting at work today tells me this isn't the end. She wants me to still chase her but that will NEVER happen. She gets some kind of sick thrill treating people like sh!t and then when they come back for more she loves it.

I tell you if I could just get the upper hand back in this situation it would be great.

 

[reset]

You're going to IM her first aren't you.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You're going to IM her first aren't you.

NO. I would NEVER do that it's against my religion. I don't care how many Ice House's I have had I won't do it no way no how I'd rather shoot myself.

I was thinking of waiting for HER to IM me, and then putting my away message up and not even responding. Just SOMETHING to get the upper hand back. It doesn't feel right not having the upper hand and it will never feel right.

She'll be sipping on some syrup one night and try to talk to me I'm telling you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You think I should block her and remove her from my IM? I have this strange curiosity because I can tell she has NOT deleted me from her IM...

***sigh*** OK, watch this clip. It's a short, metaphoric skit about what you went through. FLUSH THAT LAST CHUNK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz_A6K9rSko

 

[My Name is Nobody]

***sigh*** OK, watch this clip. It's a short, metaphoric skit about what you went through. FLUSH THAT LAST CHUNK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz_A6K9rSko

I hear you man I hear you.. it's easy for you to say you are probably banging 20 different women. I have 4 new #'s, a vacation coming up next week and hopefully some action. We'll see but in the meantime it really would be nice getting the upper hand back in this situation.. I don't think it will happen soon.. it will probably take weeks and by that time I shouldn't even care I'll have some plates. But you never know...I don't see the problem keeping her on BLOCK and if she pops online I can pop online and see if she initiates a conversation. What's the problem?

 

[reset]

Yeah it sucks. You're having all these fantasy scenarios in your head of "what ifs" and none of them are real.

Here's the f'd up part, as long as you're playing out these strategies of what you're going to do if she does that etc...

SHE HAS THE UPPER HAND. But that's fine.

What I've learned from going through enough of these types of things is:

Be really careful when it comes to chicks at work (which you know now)
and...

YOU CAN'T OUT-DRAMA A CHICK.

You will never get the upper hand or the last word even if you think you will. She will get the last word. She might even trick you into thinking you're going to get the last word... but that will just be a game to eventually make it so she will get the last word. Don't even try to go down that road. She'll beat you.


The only upper hand you have now is not responding. Don't even do the "block thing" however that works.

Just don't respond. No theatrics. You don't have to block something, you just don't respond to it.

At some point, maybe she will try to contact you (to ultimately get the last word) and then you don't respond to that either.

What you have to do is RISE ABOVE this situation, and let her get all that drama out of her system. The less you give in the more she'll shoot more drama at you.

So, don't give in. Don't contact her. Don't respond. Don't try to "get back at her". Don't plot your revenge.

That's all ego.

And even though you won't send her an Im or email or whatever, just remember,

no contact.

At all.

Even if she's nice.

No contact.

It's a trainwreck but you don't have to be on the train. It's her train. She can crash it on her own.

 

[guru1000]

This thread will go 20 deep and still be on the same subject.

Sometimes people have to learn on their own.

First step to recovery, is HONESTY.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yeah it sucks. You're having all these fantasy scenarios in your head of "what ifs" and none of them are real.

The b1tch was still checking me out today she walked right by me and she NEVER walks in that direction unless I am there. So much for "not wanting to see me again" She has a copy machine next to her desk why the **** would she walk across the room to use the one next to me.

I have co workers who can confirm this. I have known her for 3 months and the longest we went with no contact is 3 days. She thinks I am a total AFC and will contact her again. Let it go a couple weeks and I'm telling you she will test the waters and IM me. I am not deluding myself you'll see. And like you said when she does IM me I will just not respond. That's the way to go and then I have the upper hand.

 

[reset]

Yeah I should probably bow out of this thread. I think it may help you to re-read this entire thing and let it sink in.

The only way to "win" is to just move on and rise above the situation.

That's hard to do but I doubt any of the guys here would say there's a better strategy than being the bigger man and just putting this behind you.

Good luck dude.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yeah I should probably bow out of this thread. I think it may help you to re-read this entire thing and let it sink in.

The only way to "win" is to just move on and rise above the situation.

That's hard to do but I doubt any of the guys here would say there's a better strategy than being the bigger man and just putting this behind you.

Good luck dude.

It's not hard to do man. I am doing it. So what if I keep this woman on my IM and post about her I'm just passing time and this thread is becoming legendary. People are saying its the funniest thread ever so let's keep it going. I don't care about her, yes I would still like to hump her, but that's it. I have no feelings for her.

Deleting her completely right now just shows I can't handle her rejecting me when in reality I don't care. I am about to move on.. I'm not stupid... She is fukked in the head so I keep her on my IM that means I am AFC?

I think deleting her from everything and pretending I'm not wondering about it is more AFC.

Hell to tell you the truth with MSN you cant completely delete someone if they don't delete you. They still show up in your settings. You just cant get rid of them if she deletes me I would do it but she hasn't.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I went back in my posting history and found this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=28732

I remember even changing the ages and details in that original post because I was so damn nervous and insecure that someone I knew might see it. That thread used to be painful for me to read. About two years ago, I was just trying to forget about it. Now, it's just funny to me.

The moral of the story is we have all freaked out on here before. Guys who don't post on Internet forums just use different avenues for their breakdowns. Your skin will get thicker over this and you'll grow as a man. You just have to let this experience help you to grow.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I went back in my posting history and found this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=28732

I remember even changing the ages and details in that original post because I was so damn nervous and insecure that someone I knew might see it. That thread used to be painful for me to read. About two years ago, I was just trying to forget about it. Now, it's just funny to me.

The moral of the story is we have all freaked out on here before. Guys who don't post on Internet forums just use different avenues for their breakdowns. Your skin will get thicker over this and you'll grow as a man. You just have to let this experience help you to grow.

Damn buddy, you have NO idea the threads I have made that I am too ashamed to even dig up. Let's just say I had a different user name a few years ago and like I said, I can't even bring myself to search for them. I don't want to see.

 

[reset]

Actually, this isn't really funny. I don't know if this is the first time you've had problems with a chick at work--but yes she's going to keep coming by your desk and being dramatic and trying to get a reaction out of you, and this is a professional setting with your reputation at stake and you could end up doing something really stupid so commit now to just forgetting this chick exists and go about your business as if NOTHING happened.

Ultimately that will drive her insanse, so if your ego is at stake then yes you will "get the upper hand" but you only do that by refusing to interact with her or play games of any fashion whatsover.

The story I told you was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and the only reason I've been posting is to just remind you not to do anything stupid.

If you believe you will do that then my work is done.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Actually, this isn't really funny. I don't know if this is the first time you've had problems with a chick at work--but yes she's going to keep coming by your desk and being dramatic and trying to get a reaction out of you, and this is a professional setting with your reputation at stake and you could end up doing something really stupid so commit now to just forgetting this chick exists and go about your business as if NOTHING happened.

Ultimately that will drive her insanse, so if your ego is at stake then yes you will "get the upper hand" but you only do that by refusing to interact with her or play games of any fashion whatsover.

The story I told you was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and the only reason I've been posting is to just remind you not to do anything stupid.

If you believe you will do that then my work is done.

Dude trust me this job sucks and it is NOT a career and I am trying to find a way out already. It's a desk job answering phones all day. Fire me, I don't give a ****.

As for ignoring her yes, I will do exactly that. Hell for her, this probably is a career. It doesn't pay good and I am just working there because it was what was available at the time. I can and have done much better than this job.

 

[Eddie417]

Dude trust me this job sucks and it is NOT a career and I am trying to find a way out already. It's a desk job answering phones all day. Fire me, I don't give a ****.

As for ignoring her yes, I will do exactly that. Hell for her, this probably is a career. It doesn't pay good and I am just working there because it was what was available at the time. I can and have done much better than this job.

Is it help desk? I sense help desk. Help desk is definitely not a career. The problem with these jobs is that they often get outsourced to illiterate foreigners. I'd definitely look for something that pays gooder.:rockon:

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Is it help desk? I sense help desk. Help desk is definitely not a career. The problem with these jobs is that they often get outsourced to illiterate foreigners. I'd definitely look for something that pays gooder.:rockon:

No it's not a help desk. I will be on vacation next week and then I got a new shift so she will never see me again after tomorrow. She doesn't know any of this let her think I quit or died or something.

I saw her checking me out again today with my peripheral vision.

I didn't even look at her. She must think I'm still going to contact her. She's crazy.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

And then she walks WAY out of her way by my desk while clicking through her cell phone like I give a damn No reason whatsoever for her to take that route unless she's trying to get my attention.

The only thing I can conclude is she is surprised I haven't called her yet after 6 days.. she must be used to AFC's.

Do the games ever end with these people? What a freak.

 

[reset]

You officially give a damn.