Boot Camp for The Mature Man

[allan976]

Negative,

The goal of bootcamp is to approach women in person, including saying 'hi's' at first, then conversing with them, then closing them, dating, etc.

There are multiple boot camp threads going, but I think responding to personals ads should go under a different topic. What do others think?

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 5, Day 1 (Thursday):

I'm hopelessly confused on which day and week it is in boot camp. I am monitoring other boot camps on the main board to see how things are progressing with others. Right now, my regular places are 'drying up'; I see fewer and fewer closeable prospects due to the demographics of the stores involved (most but not all of the ladies who shop there are over 30).

8:00 AM
I'm bored waiting for a flight so I look around the waiting area for a HB to chat up. I've seen many pickups or at least extended conversations take place both during and prior to flights between apparent strangers. Why can't I take advantage? I first see a good looking blonde in her 20's. I look closer and consider moving in. She's a bit too chunky for my taste. Not fat, but a little chunky so I pass. I continue to look around. There's a demure looking, thin, 5' 7" brunette with big brown eyes in a nice outfit of jeans and white leather jacket. Her face is girlishly cute, especially her big eyes, but she also has a few wrinkles and her nose is a half-size too large. Nit picking, I know. I go for it anyway. I try making eye contact as I am seated almost directly across from her. After about a minute of trying to establish eye contact, I give up and simply start talking to her.

Me: "I wish I had brought some food with me." She is eating a banana.
Her: Her eyes get wide and she immediately grabs into her bag and pulls out a new box of cookies.
Me: I tell her it's ok, that I was just kidding. She insists I take the box. I open the box and take one cookie.
Her: "No, take more."
Me: "You sure?" I ask her if it's all right since it's a new box.
Her: She says if she opens the box, she's afraid she'll eat the entire box of cookies.

I fluff talk her about where she's going, where she lives, blah blah blah. I am getting short one word answers and short phrases rather than extended conversation, even when I try to elicit emotion and ask open ended conversations by asking: "how do you like it here (in LA)?" Even then, she just says: "it's nice."

After about five minutes, her responses get shorter and shorter and she diverts eye contact after her responses, signaling to me 'the conversation needs to wrap up." She clearly senses that I am after more than just a 'quickie' conversation. I decide to close since this is my last opp: I ask her about the social scene in her neighborhood (Pasadena) and ask about some bars in the neighborhood. She doesn't say much at all at this point. I tell her that she should give me her number if she wants to get together to have some fun. She says nothing. I say: "so what do you think?"

She says "no," devoid of emotion and eye contact. "Well it was nice talking to ya, have a safe trip," then I exit the scene. I'm over a week behind, but I finally picked up a rejection! It was pretty clear towards the end that the girl was trying to cut off the convo, so I figured I'd try to close anyway, since this rejection was "in the bag" so to speak. I felt a little embarrassed, but immediately after, I began looking for other hotties in the airport, so I couldn't have been that messed up. I felt I needed to display some confidence in order to get myself out of the rut I had been in previously and risk taking was the right thing to do at that moment in time.

Lesson learned 1: risk taking, at least when approaching a hottie should ALWAYS be the right thing to do, not a decision to be mulled over from situation to situation.

Nine more rejections to go! Yikes! (Well, if I count the two prior to week four, I have only seven). My tally after four weeks:

Kiss closes: 0
Number closes: 0
Email closes: 1
Rejections for a number: 1 (or 3)
Dates: 0

 

[al77]

Originally posted by allan976
... to get together to have some fun. She says nothing. I say: "so what do you think?"

She says "no," devoid of emotion and eye contact...

Hey... listen to how it sounds "get to tgether to have some fun" to a girl ou barely know. Most decent females would detect you are mean "fvck" instead of fun. Thats a bit scared from some decently shy gals.

Plus "what do you think"... is not really great idea - you give up control to her and want her to decide and say it out loud.
She would rather give you her email... or number quietly... without mentioning ideas of "fun".

I suggest: just ask her for email... or number if you feel she likes you already.

For exmaple: end the convo: Nice talking to ya... turn ... start walking ... then turn back to her, Hey... what is a good way to get a hold of you.. do you have an email?

You'll come as easygoing, non threatening guy, which isgood for this types of situations.

 

[allan976]

Good feedback, Al77. Live and learn, as they say. Right now, I need some serious work boosting my total number of rejections!

 

[al77]

Originally posted by allan976
Good feedback, Al77. Live and learn, as they say. Right now, I need some serious work boosting my total number of rejections!

Whats the matter with you? why the heck you need rejection, man? I don't care what somebody write about it, but you have a "skewd" goal. All you can do to gather rejection is to go out and approach with some "wanna fvck?" question. I gurantee you will get 100% rejection rate.

See? it is not useful! You better redefine your goal: say, dont start talking to a women cuz you want her email\number.
Start counting how many time you smiled (+1 point) or laugh (+5).
Let it be your goal. No email\nimber pressure - you work "for laughs" only.

 

[allan976]

"Whats the matter with you? why the heck you need rejection, man?"

--Chill out and read the dj bible. Also, try to acquire a capacity for humor and irony while you are at it!

 

[al77]

Originally posted by allan976
--Chill out and read the dj bible. Also, try to acquire a capacity for humor and irony while you are at it!

Well.. I mean don't take everything you read in the DJ bible very seriously. I know that humor is not an easy thing to develop, but collection rejections seems odd: you can do it really fast, right?

 

[allan976]

al77, the whole point of boot camp is to reform afc's. Towards that end, getting rejections is crucial since afc's usually don't approach at all; hence, in order to get rejections, one must make multiple approaches in a short period of time (one week). Anyway, al77, if you disagree with the principles of boot camp, you're better off posting on some other thread, such as the DJ Tips section rather than here; this thread is a place to post field reports, and feedback on field reports, for those of us actively engaged in boot camp. On to today's field report....

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 5, Day 2 (Monday):

I am not at all planning on DJ-ing today, as I obviously have a full day of work ahead of me this Monday. However, I do successfully number close today, as well as pick up that all crucial number close rejection!

3 PM:
I have to head out to my former university this afternoon in order to take care of some paperwork. On the bus, I see a really cute brunette: nice hair, face, cute blouse, etc. As a reforming AFC, my confidence level is nowhere near where it should be, so I decide not to talk to her (initially). After about five minutes on the bus however, I have an overwhelming urge to talk to this girl. Part of it is an urge to meet her in particular, but the other part of it is that I'm stuck on the bus for another 20 minutes or so with nothing else to do. Should I do absolutely nothing, or take a minor risk by talking to a very pretty girl on a nearly empty bus? The choice is simply too obvious so I make my move.

Me: (seated directly behind her) I tap her on the shoulder: 'Excuse me, what's the last stop on this line?'
Her: (slightly startled) 'I don't know...I'm sorry.'
Me: (I think her response is too short. I decide to go for ****y and funny). 'Well, you're just as clueless as I am then!'
Her: (she smiles, laughs and loosens up noticeably).
I ask her if she is going to school x. She is. We fluff talk about school, her major blah blah blah.
Me: 'What's your name?'
Her: 'It's (girl's name).'

She talks some more about her family, why she moved to my city blah blah blah.

She asks me if I know where building x is on campus. I tell her I'm going there myself.
Her: 'Oh, I'll just follow you then.'

I let her know where to get off the bus, and walk her over to the building. Along the way, more fluff, and I also check out her bod (very nice curves in all the right places!). I tell her she should go out and have some fun, that school is stressing her out. As we talk, she trips and nearly falls over! At this point, I introduce some kino by rubbing her back and telling her she definitely must be stressed out dealing with school. There is no resistance to the kino on her part. She responds by saying she is such a klutz; I should've come back with some more ****y and funny at this point but I was genuinely feeling embarrassed for her! I tell her that I can give her a tour of my campus later to show her around. We are at the building x on campus and I wish her good luck with her application. I close by telling her to give me her number so we can hang out sometime and have fun since school has her so stressed.

Her: "ummmmm" (she's hesitant, so I decide to make it easier for her):

Me: "Here's a pen....every student carries one...' I show her a small notebook with the name of the school on front. "I'm true to my school..."

She writes her number and name down on a sheet inside the notebook. I shake her hand and wish her good luck with the application, she gives me a big smile.

Lesson learned 1: ****y and funny works.
Lesson learned 2: kino works.
Lesson learned 3: "sarging" does not require any extra time during your day; you can just integrate it into your normal, daily routine: shopping, getting work done, whatever.
Lesson learned 4: in retrospect, I should've probably set up an 'instant date' or 'gunwitched' her back to my place for a backrub to alleviate her stress or to show her some books on colleges, since she seemed to be going along with the program I was setting up for her. However, I did have quite a bit of work to finish up and I also wanted some more time to (try to) pick up more numbers. Oh well, I can always call this girl later.
Lesson learned 5: no matter how cute the girl, they all have their insecurities. If you can joke around and make them smile about their problems or even offer a massage (or more) to help them forget, you're in.

---

3:30 PM
After taking care of the necessary paperwork, I decide to go for a long walk back to the bus stop. I tell myself I'm doing it just to get some exercise, but in the back of my mind, I want to give myself some opportunities to check out the females and maybe attempt another pick up. After about fifteen minutes, I see a girl to my left walking to the bus stop. She looks a bit older, perhaps late twenties or early thirties. She's dressed up in dark slacks, heels and a nice sweater. I'm usually not into 'older' chicks, but I need the practice and decide 'what the hell.'

Me: 'excuse me, where's the bus stop?'
Her: 'it's right up the street', pointing directly ahead. We fluff talk a bit and find out she's a business student from nor cal. We fluff a bit about school. At the bus stop, she sits down while I stand. This is the first sign she's not interested. Then she opens a book AND slides slightly away from me when I sit down at the bench. I ask her what she does for fun in her free time. She says she studies.
I tell her she must do something besides study in her free time! She says she likes to surf. I tell her that she can teach me to surf sometime. She says she's not a very good teacher. I tell her to give me her number and I'll think of something we can do together when she's not studying. 'No thank you,' she says, smiling. 'You sure?' 'No,' she says, still smiling but not making eye contact. 'Allright, take it easy, have a nice day.' I get out of there.

---

3:45 PM
I walk down the street another ten minutes. I see another brunette cutie at a bus stop another five minutes later. I talk to her and ask her often the bus line runs. 'About ten, every ten or fifteen minutes.' At this point, I look up and a bus is coming. The girl gets on. No chance to close on this one. She was younger and a lot friendlier than the previous girl.

Kiss closes: 0
Number closes: 1
Email closes: 1
Rejections for a number: 2 (or 4)
Dates: 0

The key for me is to pick up girls during my daily routine. I am finding both younger and 'older' girls to be equally friendly, but the older ones are a lot more direct; more direct in expressing their sexual interest (remember 'yogurt girl?'), or in expressing disinterest: 'no.' With both a successful number close AND rejection under my belt today, and three attempts total, I am feeling better than ever. I'm climbing back up the hill, fellas! Yesterday, boot camp seemed impossibly hard, today it seemed ridiculously easy. Go figure.

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 5, Day 4 (Wednesday):

3 PM: Worked at a cafe today for an hour. Before heading upstairs, I scope out the talent downstairs. There is a "flower power" hottie with flowers and scarves attached to her belt. Cute jeans and black top. Nice dirty blonde mane. Observe for a minute, and check out her face. Fantastic bod and overall look, but the face looks a bit worn. This lady is 40 or so. Next.

See an Asian hottie perusing magazines. I'm trying to get a closer look at her face. Her face is buried in the mag and I never get a clean look at her face. She bails after a minute or so.

I grab a table upstairs. There's not much to look at as usual, but after about 15 minutes a gorgeous 8.5 Asian HB sits down at a table on the other end of the cafe. I get up, grab a mag from downstairs as an excuse, and re-seat myself at a table next to hers. Girl's got a FAT LSAT prep book. Wait, what is she taking out of her bag? It's a timer. She's timing herself while taking a practice LSAT. Doesn't look good, but I don't care.

Me: "excuse me, what are you studying?" I say smiling.
Her: (In a near whisper): "The LSAT."
Me: "cool. when's your test?"
Her: (In a near whisper): "June."
This girl is giving me one word answers and looks back at her book instead of at me after her answers. The situation doesn't look good but I try again:
Me: "Are you still in school?"
Her: "No, i already graduated.....I have to get back to studying."
Me: "cool. Good luck."

Lesson learned 1: don't mess with Asian HB8's who are taking a timed practice LSAT (at least not in the middle of their practice test). LOL

5 PM: head to the gym. I chickened out trying to get the HB gym employee's info a couple weeks ago, and didn't make it there at all last week. I am determined this week. Unfortunately, I get there during the peak traffic time. I walk up to her and she checks me out by looking over her shoulder at me. I try to fluff her by telling her to hook me up with a stairmaster. She's really cool, keeping me updated every minute or so, apologizing for me having to wait etc. I'm trying to get a convo going but there are just too many people, and she is constantly on the move. I'm gonna have to try again prior to peak traffic times. Should be a lot easier then.

Lesson learned 2: find a less busy time to get the convo going.


8 PM: I'm scheduling a summer getaway with a bud out of town. at 8:30 PM, I try a number I got from the girl on the bus Monday. The number's a dud. It's a guy's number! Yikes.

Weeks 4 + 5 are considerably tougher than weeks 1 + 2 + 3!

 

[al77]

I hope you dont mind some comments, I'll try to keep them positive.

1. "but the face looks a bit worn. This lady is 40 or so. Next. "
Doesn teh DJ bible say treat them all equally? were you thinking "omg, I will have to kiss her now"? lol
I guess if she would talk to you, she would be much more receptive to flirting with a younger guy: means some great practice! You can alway bail on her, not not always start a convo.

2. "She's timing herself while taking a practice LSAT. Doesn't look good, but I don't care."
Hm. Did you think she'll postpone the test? No. If the chances seem really really slim... just dont go for it, unless you feel very persistence and determined to get her number in any case.
Like this:
Her: "No, i already graduated.....I have to get back to studying."
You: "cool. I have a friend who has an awesome book about LSAT and used very cool approach to the test... he did exteremely well, we should hook up so I can tell you all about some new strategies he used for the test and you can save plenty of hot spring days! Whats your email?

Make it shorter.. modify.. but if you approached why bail on her?
She didnt say "I have no phone, no email", did she?

3. Gym: dont bother with busy ladies. Just establiush some little contact. Every time you see her say something short...but dont bother to get her into convo if she is really busy.


By the way, how many approached you have done total so far?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by allan976


I tell her she should go out and have some fun, that school is stressing her out.
As we talk, she trips and nearly falls over!

She responds by saying she is such a klutz;

I close by telling her to give me her number so we can hang out sometime and have fun since school has her so stressed.

Her: "ummmmm" (she's hesitant, so I decide to make it easier for her):

Me: "Here's a pen....every student carries one...' I show her a small notebook with the name of the school on front. "I'm true to my school..."

Kiss closes: 0
Number closes: 1
Email closes: 1
Rejections for a number: 2 (or 4)
Dates: 0

Is her number was a dud? Probably she was embarrased cuz she is "she is such a klutz".....

"ummmmm" from her sure a bad sign of not enough IL. Go for email in that case.
I would not mention "and we will have fun", it may sounds like "give me you number and we'll have sex".

By the way... that was supposed to be her cell phone number?
Try to do teh following: take out your cell and ask her to tell you her number. After you are done, immediatly dial that number. If nothing happens - well you know you can fun teasting her since you will never see here again...
If her cell rings, you can allway say "pushed the worng button, sorry, I'll make up for it: what ice cream you like?" - so you may even set up a simple date right on teh spot wihtout calling her.

and you said "Email closes: 1"

FRom whom you get the email? I didn't see that in your report.

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 5, Day 7 (Saturday):

9 AM: Back at the airport travelin'. This time I get lucky and instead of getting a sweaty, old farting middle aged male, I get a late twenty-ish HB8 seated next to me. She's definitely dressed down in sweats and with no makeup. I'm extremely sleepy and tired, however, having had to get to the airport at an extremely early hour (for me anyway). No need to approach here, so I just get the convo rolling right away a minute or so after she sits...I ask about her novel, and whether it's any good. She seems pretty cool at this early point in the convo, talking enthusiastically about the novelist, the TV shows and movies based on his work, etc. She's smiling a lot and seems into the convo. We fluff for a while, but I think we start to tune each other out when she tells me about her job. She sells cleaning and stocking products for restrooms in commercial establishments. She' apparently going to the same city I am for a training seminar. Lovely. I just completely lose interest at that point, despite my desire to keep the ball rolling. I kinda roll my eyes and say, 'wow, that sounds like interesting work.' I think she gets the hint and starts to lose interest in the convo. We both fall asleep, lol!

---


Week 6, Day 1 (Sunday):

9 PM: stuck at the airport a stop over on my way back to LA, for two hours. I wander around and spot a number of HB7's passing through and heading to their various gates and terminals. None of them is a real knockout but a ton of girls who are reasonably young, thin, dressed and made up. I see one of the HB7's just wandering around, unaccompanied, apparently just looking for something to do. I finally catch up to her at Starbucks. She buys a coffee and sits at a table. I do the same a couple minutes later. She's got blonde streaked hair, a reasonably pretty face, is in her early twenties, and has a slightly thick bod and booty. In two to five years, she'll be a BBW or just a straight up fattie. Right now, she's got curves.

Me: "so what brings you to x?"
Her: "oh, I travel here for a vacation every two months or so. I'm here with a couple friends, I met them here in x. They checked out already, and I didn't want to stay in my hotel room all alone."

Note to self: this is a sexual invitation. Too bad, I had to fly out in half an hour. Shoulda found a broom closet for a quickie.

We fluff for a while. I try to run some C & F and she goes along by laughing at all my corny jokes. I tell her that I'm planning on visiting again in the near future with some buds and want to get some info on hotspots in town.

Me: "...I'll call you. Give me your number."

This time, I ask if it's her cell number and she says yes. She tells me to call her, so that she'll have my number also. I pull out my phone and fumble around with it, and she volunteers to enter the digits herself. After that, I call her and we both stare at our phones hoping hers will ring. Yup, it does. She confirms my number.

Her: "Is it xxx xxx xxxx?"
Me: "Yup, that's it!"

She checks out right then and there (what a player...geez lol) while I finish up my coffee before rushing to my gate.

Lesson learned 1: try to feign interest in a what a girl does, even if you think it's a damm joke.

Lesson learned 2: if a girl has a high IL, she'll laugh at dumb jokes and do what she has to do to make sure you can contact her.

Lesson learned 3: approaching builds confidence. Forget what the haters say!

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 6, Day 1, 2 (Sunday and Monday):

Sunday noon. I meet up with my AFC friend and his wife. The bytch instantly starts complaining about her life and how others mistreat her. I tell her three or four times I don't want to hear it. She gives me the silent treatment. Her husband agrees with me but asks his wife if she wants to go along with us to lunch. She first insists that she must be heard and that guys are never willing to listen. I tell her that's bullshyt and her husband agrees. Then she changes her mind and says now she feels bad because she misbehaved, but now wants us to sympathize with her for feeling bad. I tell her that's b.s. and she can either go home or behave properly. Her husband agrees that she should come along for lunch but should behave in a socially appropriate manner. Long story short: she later says to me "you don't play anymore, do you?"

I later tell my AFC friend that he better get his act together and actually try to pursue what he's passionate about. I like him a lot but he freely admits he's a lazy ass and that everyone recognizes he's a lazy ass. I tell him to take one small step to pursue the career that he really wants and report back to me next week. He's such a lazy ass I doubt he'll do it.

5 PM: After kicking my friend's asses, I decide to head to the gym. I see several lookers as always. The brunette who I saw a couple weeks back who looks like the lead actress in "Thirteen" is back. She's doing some circuit training and is not taking any breathers to stretch or rest in between exercises. No chance to make a move here.

There's a HB8 Asian girl stretching to my left. About 5' 7", cute chipmunk cheeks, big eyes, tan, probably filipina. A male gym employee is mopping up the floor and apologizes that he's getting in her way. She smiles broadly and says it's all right. He moves on. I joke around with her saying we're messing up the floor just seconds after he cleans up. She's just as friendly to me as she was to him, so she seems down to earth. I ask her about what kind of stretching she's doing, if she's into gymnastics. She says she dances for a hip hop team, or something like that. I'm not getting a great vibe although she's friendly enough. I figure if I see her again, I'll talk to her then. It seems she's the type who needs a little time to warm up to someone, or so I figure. I stop talking to her while we both go on with stretching. Five minutes later, she leaves but not before saying bye to me a couple of times. She won't leave until I acknowledge her.

---

Week 6, Day 2 (Monday):

Noon: go to the grocery store and see several HB7's. I talk to one, an early twenties latina. We fluff for a bit about what foods we like, whether she works or goes to school (she does both), and so son. After a couple minutes, she says it's nice talking to you and jets. One thing that girls don't seem to like is talking about their ethnicity or nationality. She has a bit of an accent and I ask her if she's Spanish. She says she's El Salvadoran. Shortly after revealing this to me, she exits the conversation.

Lesson learned 1: try to avoid talk about ethnicity, race, nationality. This is sensitive stuff and it makes people nervous, especially as an opening topic.

A few minutes later, I see a very cute Asian girl about 5' tall, maybe 21 or 22 years old. Adorable face. HB7, easily. I ask her about the chips she's buying and try to get a recommendation. She's smiling broadly and her face is turning red as we fluff. Good sign. About two minutes into our fluff, ZOOOOM, her friend swoops in, grabs the Asian HB by the arm and takes off running to the opposite end of the store. They leave their grocery cart behind! The Asian HB runs struggling to keep up with her friend. How did her friend, a caucasian HB6, know about our conversation? We were talking immediately around a corner bend in the store, and should have been invisible to her caucasian friend. Nonetheless, she swooped in undetected to both of us for the ****block rescue. Amazing instincts, these girls have.

Lesson learned 1: cold approaches are tough as hell, at least if you want a high percentage of closes. I haven't given up, but unless you have something in common, like a common employer or a class or something of that nature, this 'ships passing in the night' strategy requires an extremely efficient approach.

 

[al77]

Keep it up, man!

By the way.. what is your current situation in terms of
Number closes, Email closes, Dates?

It would be awesome if you write the beginning of some convos as you did before.. it gives more realistic description.

How do you feel compared to when you just started bootcamp?

 

[allan976]

KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 6, Day 2 (Monday), Part Two:

9 PM: I arrive at the gym (trumpets blare. just kidding). I'd been meaning to go to the gym early in the morning, but I overslept. Therefore, I'm at the gym in the evening as usual. It's very crowded. Tons of sorority hotties everywhere. There are too many HB8's to even attempt to count. There's a waiting list for the exercise bikes, and I use this wait to my advantage. There's a HB8.5 Asian waiting for a bike.

9:15 PM:
Me: You waiting for one of the recumbents?
Her: (she doesn't seem terribly enthusiastic. she's not making eye contact and is actually looking past me looking for a staff member). Yea.
Me: Are any of 'em going to be available soon?
Her: Umm, I think it's going to be at least 8 or 10 minutes at the earliest. She crinkles her nose a bit.
Me: Aw, that's not too bad, you in a rush or something?
Her: Well, my favorite tv show is on right now, I can't miss it! She seems to brighten up a bit.

To make a long story short, the ingredients for success are not there. She's looking past me, and she isn't smiling much. She's not really arrogant, but the vibe is lukewarm at best. I sit next to her when I get my turn, but she's into her tv show, and I'm just a little turned off by her turned up nose, so to speak. I know I'm supposed to keep trying until I get a definite no, but this target seems to offer a very low likelihood of success. I let her be.

9:40 PM:
I go to the mats to stretch. The chipmunk cheek filipina is there again (see Sunday's report). I razz her big time:
Me: you again?! you must be stalking me!
Her: Noooo! Smiling.
Me: can I go anywhere without running into you?
Her: she laughs and smiles.
Me: ...and you've got the Laker jersey on and everything. Should I call you Jeanie or Paula Abdul?
Her: Nooo! She's smiling and laughing.
I get her name (cindy) and ask her if she's giving any dancing performances soon. She says her group is pretty much done for the year. I ask her if she's gonna go to clubs now since she loves to dance. She says yea, but she needs to study, since finals are coming up. She then waves 'hi' to a guy; he comes over and gives her a hug, but seems totally uninterested in interacting with her. Odd. She says hi to a girl next, and chats her up for a minute.

Me: so you know everyone here, huh? you must be a player.
Her: Nooo (laughing), I was just waving hi, I know them....

This filipina is very, very nice, smiles a lot, but she gives me these short, short answers, forcing me into a slightly uncomfortable 'twenty questions' mode which is a little draining for me. Like last time, I just stop talking to her since I have to completely carry the convo. After a couple minutes, she gets up and leaves:
Her: see you later! see you later!
Me: ok, bye.

Evaluation: I'll just try to number close this chick next time. I feel like I'm wasting my time with her. Of course I'm not really wasting my time since I have to stretch anyway, but you know what I mean. I'm expending effort and am irritated by the uncertainty, so I'll just get closure next time by trying to number or date close, and just get the 'no' (the most likely outcome) out of the way. Some girls I figure just need time, but I don't see any escalation on her part, even though I'm running the c & f routine. My assessment: she's very friendly as a habit and a general rule, but my sense is she shows no special interest in me. No biggie.

10 PM:
I don't feel like waiting for a b-ball game to start, so I get back on a bike to finish out my cardio. A cutie (HB8) gets on the bike next to me. She looks and checks me out immediately while wiping down the bike that another girl (an HB5 Asian girl who checked me out in a very obvious way by staring as I got on the bike) just got off. I check HB8 out, she checks me out.
Her: (smiling) I wish people would wipe down after they're done! (she doesn't have a bad attitude, she's just talking to be talking. classic pick up maneuvre. Nice).
Me: I know, and look out for that puddle of sweat on the floor!
Her: eeeew! are you serious?! (she's laughing).
I get a good vibe right away since she initiated both eye contact and the convo.

She keeps wiping down the bike. Actually, she's not being careful, and actually cuts her own hand, dripping blood onto the machine. In retrospect, she's probably too excited and nervous and 'overdoes it' wiping the machine down too roughly. She has a ring on, and this ring probably cut her finger. Odd, but girls just get nervous when a boy talks to them--they trip, stutter, blush, cut themselves accidentally, you name it.

This girl is a HB8, maybe 5' 8" or 5' 9" with brown hair with blonde streaks pulled back into a ponytail. Maybe 20 yrs. old, maybe 19. Skinny but athletic body. Very cute, girl next door face with some freckles. The only difficulty I foresee is that she's got a book, an ipod, AND a tv monitor to distract her.

Me: you've got a lot of equipment there! A tv, ipod, AND a book!
Her: oh, I don't know, I guess I need a lot of entertainment!
Based on past experience, I know I have to talk to her enough to build a rapport, but get out of there quickly enough to leave her wanting more. We fluff for quite a while. This girl is extremely conversant and follows MLB baseball extremely closely. She's a tomboy. Awesome. She also owns a horse. She gets concert tix and baseball tix for free. Awesome. After a couple of minutes of fluffing, she pulls the earbuds out of her ears so we can talk without her being distracted. After about 6, 7 minutes, I tell her I need to jet but that we can talk later. She seems a little sad:
Her: do you come to the gym often? (ps: this is a classic pick up line).
Me: yea, maybe once or twice a week. I better get going before I get kicked off the machine (there's a twenty minute time limit on exercise bikes). We'll talk later, what's your number.
Her: it's really easy to remember....it's xxx....
Me: I try writing it on my hand, but it's not working. '...wait, I'll go get some paper.'
Her: oooo... (it's pretty obvious she doesn't want me to get up and leave for any reason. she's sad when I say I have to leave and a little sad when I have to get up to get some paper to write on).

I come back and write down her number:
Her: ...it's really easy to remember, it's xxx, I mean, area code xxx, then xxx xxxx.

me: ok, take it easy, 'kelly', talk to you soon.
her: holding my hand as we talk: 'oooh, we have matching bandaids!'
me: hey, I get 'em at a discount.
her: really? are you like a doctor or something?
me: I do a little bit of this, a little bit of that...'
her: laughs.

About 2 minutes after I leave, I see a swarm of sorority girls surrounding HB8. Whew, what a close call! These girls probably would have acted as c-blockers and might have even physically lifted her off the bike! I caught a break, after getting routed earlier at the grocery store today. It's karma, dude.

Lesson learned: I combine techniques of c & f, fluffing, rapport building, remaining mysterious, and keeping her wanting more, over the course of ten minutes. It's ALMOST coming naturally to me now.

Lesson learned: My shyness is declining as I focus less and less on 'closing' per se and more and more on simply talking to every pretty girl I see. Almost without exception, the girls enjoy it.

Lesson learned: use your intuition and always be attentive to opportunities. You'll have to routinely deal with ****blockers, lukewarm targets, and girls who are interested but need time to get to know you before they trust you. You have to be flexible, but a few weeks of persistent approaches will give you the sixth sense and confidence you need, IF YOU KEEP AT IT.

Kiss closes: 0
Number closes: 3
Email closes: 1
Rejections for a number: 2 (or 4)
Dates: 0

 

[iveyleeger]

Allan,

I love how you handled the AFC wife. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[allan976]

What can I say, watching the steady decline of my AFC friend and his wife upsets me, but without internal motivation, you can never help anyone. Plus, they're put off by my increased confidence: the AFC's wife attempts to surround herself with sheepish yes-men and women who serve as xxxxx large emotional tampons, and my guess is she won't want to talk to me much in the future. I don't mean to rip on them so much but the problem is so sad and so obvious.

I'm 32 going on 33 btw, bro. Feels like 40 is just around the corner though. Gotta do it while I'm still (relatively) young.

 

[iveyleeger]

exactly right. I am 31 myself. and I've drifted away from the married AFC friends.

one cold approach is so much more thrilling than any amount of time with people who, basically, quit the chase out of fear

 

[allan976]

--double post--

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 6, Day 3 + 4 (Tuesday and Wednesday):

Tuesday:

5 PM: finally got off the freeway after a MASSIVE pile up due to a major accident. I'm extremely sick from the air conditioning frion in my car, the CO building up all around me on the freeway, the lack of oxygen and extreme heat. Grab a bite to eat at the grocery store. I see the Latina HB I've seen before and grow strangely nervous. She's 5' 2" wearing a cute pink blouse and blue jeans.

Me: "how you doing?"
Her: "good." she walks away and gets some more stuff to stock on the shelves.
She's back after a second and we fluff about her going to school, her work, and some other stuff I can't remember. I get her name, shake her hand, and stroke her arms and back, telling her she's getting a great upper body workout by stocking shelves.
Me: "go ahead and give me a double bicep pose."
Her: Thinks for a second. "Noooooo!!" She's laughing like crazy, and she almost struck the pose for me.

I run out of stuff to say. She picks up the slack:
Me: "are you having a good day." Nice. Give the girl some credit. She wants to make this happen.

Unfortunately, I feel like shyt and am sick as hell due to the commute from hell. I want to close, but I feel like crap and decide to pick this up again.
Me: "nice talking to you, anna."
Her: "byeeee".

In retrospect, I shoulda just said: "let's pick up this conversation later, gimme your number."

---

Wednesday:

11:45 AM:
Stop by for some lunch at the grocery store. Nothing, except for a tall HB8: 5' 9" very young chick (18?) with a smokin' bod in butt/thigh hugging jeans and tight blouse with mini sweater. I give her the eye, she catches me, locks eyes with me for a second and smiles back. Too bad she's with her mom!

12:30 PM:
Well, I attempted to number close on the SSHB (super shy hot body) today during a noontime workout at the gym. She seems surprisingly bytchy and not at all shy after all! I approached her from the side, slightly from behind (I scared her off last time by walking right up to her face to face). I put my hand on her shoulder and said 'hey, how you doin'.

her: 'oh, hi.' She seems lukewarm in her response. 'what's up?' she says. Her tone of voice is now suspicious.

We fluff about how she's doing, what she's doing during the summer, and so on. After about three minutes or so, I attempt to number close. I am nervous, and am worried about 'running out of material' in our conversation.

me: 'well, I better get going. We can continue this conversation later....'

her: 'yeah, well I'll see you around at the gym...' she clearly knows that I am going to try to get a number and is attempting to cut me off at the pass (or is it just my imagination in retrospect?).

me: 'I think I'm gonna go get some work done. Give me your number and we'll talk later.'

her: 'ummm, well I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he'd like that very much.'

me: 'oh ok, well talk to you later then.'

I know, I know, I know. Shoulda followed up with a neg hit or tease or two or three about the borefriend. I know. But for some reason, that line just chases me out of the room with my tail between my legs!

At that particular moment, however, I was SO RELIEVED to have attempted the close and gotten the rejection overwith. The weeks of wondering and interpreting mixed signals was just a huge drain on me emotionally.

Lesson learned: develop a rapport the FIRST time you meet a girl and close right then and there. Waiting for a second or third conversation places you in the friend's zone, or simply gives the target time to think up possible objections. Closing the first time allows you to control the frame and allows the girl to 'get caught up in the moment.'

Critiques of my approaches are welcome.

Kiss closes: 0
Number closes: 3 (Numbers active: 2)
Email closes: 1
Rejections for a number: 5
Dates: 0