Boot Camp for The Mature Man

[allan976]

ONE SMALL STEP FOR ALLAN....

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 7, Day 12 + 13 (Thursday and Friday):

Thursday 12 PM:

To my surprise, the HB7.5 coffeeshop girl (see week 7, day 4) emails me back after I emailed her on Wed (week 7, day 11). She's the one who told me she had a boyfriend, but criticized him indirectly (not by name) for being lazy and unmotivated (see week 7, day 4).

Thursday 3 PM:

I call the number of the HB8 from the grocery store (week 7, day 8).
Me: Is this HB8?
Her: Maybe. Who is this?
Me: It's Allan, the guy from the grocery store on Sunday, the spice man.
Her: Oh! Heeey Allan! I thought you might be someone else...
Me: yea, I get that sometimes....
Her (pauses): I'm at work right now, I'll call you back. What's your number?
Me: Uhhh, it's xxx xxx xxxx.
Her: I'll call you back. I'm at work.
Me: Uhh ok.

She never calls me back. I delete her number from my phone. Next.

Thursday 4 PM:

I call the political science major I number closed on week 7, day 10 (Tuesday). I block the number. No answer. I try calling again an hour later, with my number unblocked. No answer.

---

Friday 3 PM:

I head out to the cafe near campus to get some work done. I see a HB7.5 Asian girl alone at a table. I take a seat next to her. I am torn between my desire to work and my desire to talk to her, for the first half an hour I am there. I do some work, then I look at her, I do my work, then I look over at her. I want to focus on my work very badly, but after a while, I have an overwhelming urge to talk to this girl.

Me: hey, do you have a wi fi connection here?
Her: yea, you have to pay for it though....

I talk with this girl for nearly an hour. She basically tells me every detail about her laptop. I get some recommendations about hip hop clubs and hip hop acts she's promoting in Los Angeles. She gives me some websites and her email address if I want more info. I talk and talk and listen and listen, waiting for SOI/IOI and rapport to set in. It never does. Her tone of voice is very friendly, but her body position is 'closed.' Her arms are folded more or less across her body the entire time. Her body continues to face forward while we talk, instead of towards me (I sit immediately to her side). She frowns occasionally. She is not in the least bit embarrassed, or playing with her hair, etc. She simply never 'heats up.'

I ask her what she's up to this weekend. She says she's got finals coming up and has to study all weekend. I say we should get together next weekend and celebrate the end of finals. She says she is busy all summer working and with school. I ask for her number anyway and she gives it to me. I write this one off as a loss.

Friday 6 PM:

I head over to another cafe after number closing the HB7.5 Asian girl. I walk in the door and scan the environment. There are two HB7.5's; one to my left and one to my right. The HB on the right has a pretty face and a cute dress. She is seated alone but the table closest to her is six feet away from her, too far to have an intimate chat with her table to table.

There's an empty seat right next to the HB on my left however. I take that seat. I take out my papers and start working for about five minutes. She's studying and seems to be concentrating intently, occasionally looking out of the cafe window.

Me: do you have a final coming up?
Her: (This girl's body language is much better the Asian HB earlier this afternoon. She has a big, big smile, her eyes are wide open, and she immediately turns her body to me, with her arms back and on the armrests rather than folded across her body). Yes! I had one yesterday and I have one on Tuesday.

We fluff for a while. I ask her what her major is, where she works what she likes to do for fun and so on. I ask her name. She asks mine. I give her my hand. She shakes with one hand, and places the other on top of my hand. Nice.

I tell her we should get a drink and celebrate the end of the year. She looks very, very surprised. Her mouth is wide open and she just stutters: uuuuuuh. I tell her to give me her number. I get out my cell, punch in her name and major...

Her: Yea, that's good.

...and give her the cell to punch in her number.

I click 'call' on my cell.
Me: hey, you're (cell) phone's not ringing.
Her: It's my home phone.
Me: oh ok, I wanted to call you so you'd have my number.
Her: you'll get my answering machine. You can leave the number on there if you want.

I ask her when she's finishing up her studies today. She says she's going to go to another cafe and study for another two hours. She asks me how long I'll be working tonight. I remain vague and say I have to work a bit longer.

Me: I'm getting a drink later. Come with me.
Her: She thinks for a second. Nooo, I have finals. I can't!
Me: Yea, I shouldn't drink either. Come get a drink with me.
Her: ha ha ha! Noooo, I can't!
Me: yea, I shouldn't either. Come get a drink with me.
Her: haha ha! Nope, I can't!
I repeat this like three more times, kinoing her by rubbing her arm or tapping her arm each time.

We talk about some good bars and cafes in LA. I tell her there's a great place I want to check out within walking distance of my place. I tell her she should get a drink with me when her finals are over.

Her: (Next) Wednesday? Maybe!

She asks me where I live. I tell her I live a couple of miles from here (the cafe). She tells me she lives on street x, cross street y. Do you know where that is? She says her place is right around the corner from the cafe, pointing outside. I tell her I have to get going. I tell her that I'm going to give her a complimentary massage.

Her: oooooh.

I get behind her and rub the base of her neck, her shoulders and upper arms.

Me: oooh, you're really relaxed through the shoulders--if you were tense, you'd be scrunched up like this (I imitate someone with their shoulders scrunched up).

Her: (moans softly). ooooooh, mmmmmm. I slowly rub her shoulders and arms, up and down.

Me: I better get going. (I lean down and place my cheek next to hers).

Her: she leans over and gives me a wet kiss on my cheek.

Me: I bail, but as I swig the last of my coffee, I'm so nervous I spill the coffee on my shirt! I hope she didn't see that!

Friday 8 PM: I go to yet another cafe! There's really no HB's here worth approaching There's a HB6.5 there. I'm checking her out, mainly her body to make sure she isn't a fattie. She catches me and I look away. I can't really decide if I want to approach her. Five minutes later she leaves. I stick around for another fifteen minutes. There's a couple HB6's who show up. I bail.


Lesson learned: I need to work on my inner game. I have some self defeating/self limiting beliefs. I tend to believe that you need to 'take a girl out' or 'date' her before she wants sex. This is totally untrue. The second girl above was good to go with me back to her place within the hour, even with her finals coming up. She gave me her exact address and wanted to know where I lived. She reacted well to my kino/massage and initiated kino with hand holding and a kiss.

Also, I missed a major opportunity on week 2, day 4 of bootcamp:

---

Her: "...but it all depends on whether you like it thin....or thick and creamy..." she looks over her shoulder at me to gauge my reaction.

Me: Whoa. What did she say? Was that a sexual innuendo? I know I should go with it, but I chicken out. Dropped the ball.

----

I need to realize that girls want sex. With me. That day. It's my job to give them the opportunity to do so.


Lesson learned: DJ boot camp works. For example, I get extremely anxious if I DON'T talk to a girl now. The urge is so overwhelming, I feel like screaming if a HB is next to me, and I do nothing. I actually have to 'rein myself in' now. I was gonna DJ a girl at my work site (a definite no-no), and a girl pumping gas (five seconds before she left).

As additional evidence of the efficacy of bootcamp, the simple act of asking a girl a question, however innocent and innocuous, gives both of you a chance to have sex. The DJ has to be confident enough to know the girl wants sex and has to keep escalating.


Lesson learned: No one gives a rat's derriere if you mack on a girl. No one's going to snicker or sneer at you. Short of a full-on pagan orgy in the middle of the room, no one cares (with the exception of some target's c*ckblocking girlfriend/s).


Good luck guys! I finally have a couple leads for wings in LA! I plan to work with, and learn from these guys next week.


Email closes: 2
Phone number closes: 7
(Phone numbers active: 4)

Rejections for a number 7
Kiss closes: 1
F*ck closes: 0
Dates: 0

 

[Ever onward]

Hi allan,

I see your becoming more and more smooth in your approaches. Nice!

I've attempted the Bootcamp before and it worked wonders for me. I made it to the middle of week 3 and then I made a critical mistake. I became exclusive with one of the girls I was seeing and.....a month later I turned into a wuss, she dumped me, and I never felt motivated to approach again.

I've decided to attend a bootcamp this summer with some professional PUA's. I'm doing that in late July.

When I go to the Bootcamp, I want to concentrate on actually learning from these guys, and not just use them to get over my fear of approaching.....so about 3 weeks before I go, I'm going to do 3 weeks of the Don Juan Bootcamp.....

When I do, I'll post my experiences on here!

Anyways, what stage of the Bootcamp are you actually at? I know you have been going at it for 7 weeks, but are you going for 10 rejections at this point??? You seem to be just freestyling it at this point without following the structure of the Bootcamp.

Just curious,

 

[allan976]

E O,

I'm still officially in 'bootcamp' but I am modifying bootcamp to suit my own purposes. BC relies heavily on utilizing particular lines and techniques in order to extract a phone number from a girl with objections. The problem with that strategy is that it focuses too much on the number as an end in itself, rather than a means to an end.

Therefore, during my approaches, I'm now doing my best to look for/wait for/create a 'sexual state' in a girl. That's my goal now: neg hitting, C&F, kino, and good old fashioned listening to a girl's interests, are utilized not simply to extract a number, but to create and/or heighten a sexual state in a girl.

Bottom line: I'm utilizing a blend of Gunwitch and BC techniques. I'm not at all familiar with DYD or RSD or MM, but I'm open to learning more about those strategies.

Also, as you can tell from my posts, I'm seriously lacking in terms of a nighttime game, mainly due to a lack of wings (most of my friends are married now, and of course are completely uninterested in the dating scene).

I hope that answers your questions E O. Also, I'd appreciate a critique of my recent pickup attempts. What could I have done differently or better?

 

[al77]

Re: ONE SMALL STEP FOR ALLAN....

Originally posted by allan976
Me: Is this HB8?
Her: Maybe. Who is this?
Me: It's Allan, the guy from the grocery store on Sunday, the spice man.
Her: Oh! Heeey Allan! I thought you might be someone else...
Me: yea, I get that sometimes....
Her (pauses): I'm at work right now, I'll call you back. What's your number?
Me: Uhhh, it's xxx xxx xxxx.
Her: I'll call you back. I'm at work.
Me: Uhh ok.

She never calls me back. I delete her number from my phone. Next.

I discovered some chicks are blend stupidity with a confused IL, i.e. she may even wanted to call you back.. it is possible she was at work and were busy.. she got you number, but later since IL was not established and "A decent girl dont call" she simply decided not to call back.
Now, what can be done?

Obviously - establish at least some IL.
How?

Her: Oh! Heeey Allan! I thought you might be someone else...
Me: yea, I get that sometimes....

She was confused "Who is this???". You did a perfect phone "opener":

"It's Allan, the guy from the grocery store on Sunday, the spice man." Detailed, descriptive. Perfect. She got who you are.

So now she is thinking if she has any IL...
But you go:

"yea, I get that sometimes...."

Oopps... probably that simple phrase sturck her - she expected you would say somehtign amusing...inetersting, at least descriptive... but basically you pass yout turn since the phrase didn't have anything she can feel, think about... so she decided to bail out.
When you provide the script - it is awesome, since you can always see what you can say better and why...

Probably you could say something related to "spice man" after her "Heeeeyy...":
"You would not confuse red pepper with sweet pea, would you?"

If she's still confused about her IL and goes "let me call you back" be ready to take initiative with something like "Great, what's good time to reach ya... 10 pm?" 10 pm is late enough for her to be home at least on a weekday at least statistically speaking.
Try to regain control over the situation, i.e. get a more or less specific time from her. Another thig to try is to text message her if possible at that time.

 

[al77]

Re: ONE SMALL STEP FOR ALLAN....

Originally posted by allan976
Me: hey, do you have a wi fi connection here?
Her: yea, you have to pay for it though....

I talk with this girl for nearly an hour. She basically tells me every detail about her laptop. I get some recommendations about hip hop clubs and hip hop acts she's promoting in Los Angeles. She gives me some websites and her email address if I want more info. I talk and talk and listen and listen, waiting for SOI/IOI and rapport to set in. It never does. Her tone of voice is very friendly, but her body position is 'closed.' Her arms are folded more or less across her body the entire time. Her body continues to face forward while we talk, instead of towards me (I sit immediately to her side). She frowns occasionally. She is not in the least bit embarrassed, or playing with her hair, etc. She simply never 'heats up.'

I ask her what she's up to this weekend. She says she's got finals coming up and has to study all weekend. I say we should get together next weekend and celebrate the end of finals. She says she is busy all summer working and with school. I ask for her number anyway and she gives it to me. I write this one off as a loss.

If you see she is "closed" but still talk and you want figure out her IL...why dont you go for old good David D opener in the middle of the convo:
"Are you single?"
No BS anymore, you will save on time and energy invested.

"I say we should get together next weekend and celebrate the end of finals. She says she is busy all summer working and with school"
You are right, you should have asked for her number in this case: she clearly said she was not interested. If you call her it will be another I'll-call-you-back in the best case.

But what you could do is to capitalize on her interests: laptops? promotions? Could you come up with something she wanted to know about laptops or promotions? Do you have friends who
are good at it? You can use references to them as a leverage...
Or invite her to a party and say there will be tons of people who like hip hop.

 

[Ever onward]

Hey allan,

Not sure what advice I can offer you since I'm not great at approaching these days.

I agree with what al77 said:

If you see she is "closed" but still talk and you want figure out her IL...why dont you go for old good David D opener in the middle of the convo:
"Are you single?"
No BS anymore, you will save on time and energy invested.

If you really think her IL is low, it might be best not to waste your time. On the other hand, if your just practicing talking to women or trying to "build attraction" maybe you should hang in there. It is up to you.

As for your approaches in general. Do you ever use ****y + Funny? Try that once in awhile. Mix things up a bit. That is the only way to find what truly works for you is if you keep trying lots of different angles.

Also, do you try to EV in yourself with these approaches? That could be why the chicks are flaking when you call them. They might give you their number in the moment but if their interest level isn't that high they flake when you actually call them.

You know some professional PUA's offer phone coaching. That might be an inexpensive alternative for you to get some hands on advice from the pros.

But whatever you do, keep posting. Your approaches are great motivation for the rest of us.

 

[allan976]

WARNING: LONG POST ON HOW NOT TO DJ!!!

E O,

What's EV?

Yea, My phone game is completely lacking right now, especially since I'm just starting that phase of bootcamp. I botched it bad last night. See the 11 PM call.

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 7, Day 15 (Sunday):

11 AM: Time to work on my phone game. I call the Hispanic HB I met at the coffeeshop. She seems a little groggy, but she ALWAYS seems a little groggy.

Me: hey what's up. Where you at?
HB: I'm at home. What are you doing? (sounds groggy, but she always sounds groggy like I said).
Me: I'm at home, checking my emails.
HB: ooooooh (incomprehensibly, she sounds excited).
Me: Why? Is that exciting?
HB: Noooo.
Me: Hey, when do you finish finals?
HB: On Thursday.
Me: Man, you finish up late. I know some people who are already done. We should get together and celebrate when you're done.
HB: Uh, maybe. Call me back later ok?
Me: All right. Later.

3:30 PM: At the coffeeshop by campus. I see this same Hispanic HB I just called this morning! I smile, tease her by patting her on the head a few times, and ask to share her table. I sit down and can't really muster the effort to engage her in convo. It's really awkward seeing her the same day after I called and I'm at a loss as to how I should conduct myself in this situation. I AFC out and basically say nothing. Five minutes later, she texting someone who immediately calls back and she bails (prior lunch date?).

HB: bye.

4 PM: At the coffeeshop by campus still. I see the gym HB7.5 in line who said 'I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much' when I tried to get her number. I crumple up a napkin and throw it at her back after I see her. What the hell, gotta try something.

gym HB: heyyy (falling tone of voice, unenthusiastic)

--inconsequential two minute fluff--

5 PM: I run into the blonde HB7.5 who kiss closed me on Friday. She's wearing shades and high heels today so I don't recognize her right away. BTW: she looks absolutely hot, 8.5 today, with tight jeans, four inch heels and J Lo style glasses. She gives me a big smile as she walks towards me. However, I walk a good six feet past her before I turn around. She's turned around too.

HB: Allan???
Me: HB? Hey, I didn't recognize you....you look like you're in the WNBA now, let me look at those shoes!

--Fluff--

HB: ....so did you go to that bar you were telling me about?
Me: Naw, I was going to, but I ate a big dinner that night and just fell asleep.
HB: (pauses). Yea, that happens to me too (clearly disappointed).
Me: so what are you up to?
HB: Oh, just window shoppin' and maybe gettin' something to eat. What about you?
Me: I'm checking out the game. I better get goin'. We should get together later, when you're done with finals.
HB: Call me!

Lesson learned: I TOTALLY stunk it up. I froze up, AFC'ed out. Awful! I should remember to be ON at all times.


8 PM: I call the singer/actress HB.
HB: hello?
Me: Hey, what's up? Do you know who this is?
HB: No, but hang on a sec, whoever this is. (click).

I call back.

HB: hello?
Me: hey, what's up. It's Allan calling.
HB: ooh. hey, did your phone disconnect (she clearly hung up on me but now sounds repentant now that I've identified myself)?
Me: yea, it must have disconnected, no worries.
HB: How are you doing? What are you up to?
Me: I was just thinking about you and wanted to call you.
HB: ooooooooooh! (very surprised).

--5 min. fluff--- (she disses her boyfriend indirectly yet again and congratulates me for staying busy this summer after I tell her about my jobs).

This girl definitely has a boyfriend, but she disses him every time we talk (although she doesn't diss him directly). I'm taking it slow, and framing myself as the ambitious upwardly mobile/high status alternative although anyone would look ambitious compared to her borefriend most likely).

11 PM: I call the blonde HB I ran into in the evening:

HB7.5 I'm good...how are you?
Me: good. I can't wait until the end of the week.
HB: Why, what's going on at the end of the week? (she sounds excited)
Me:......me and you.
HB: Oh, I thought there was something exciting you had in mind.

My vague insinuation of sex, without any activity planned out ahead of time, gets her deflated real fast.

--Ding--

I tell her we should get together after finals and celebrate. She says her last final is at 9:30 PM, so she'll have to see, implying she might be too tired to go out that night. She says 'maybe,' and asks me to 'call me back, ok?' since she's going to bed soon.

BTW: this is the girl that kiss closed me Friday night.

Lesson learned: have definite plans in mind when calling, not some vaguely sexual b.s. Have a PLAN. With the Hispanic HB, I just said we should celebrate, and that was my suggestion to the blonde HB as well. I need something more definite.

Lesson learned: I need major work on my phone game in general.

Lesson learned: don't AFC out.


DJ Boot Camp,

Week 7, Day 16 (Monday):

1 PM: I grab some groceries for lunch at middday. The hotties are out now, rather than at noon. One hour makes a big difference. I didn't sleep well last night due to my new job starting at 7:30 AM. My eyes are red and half shut, and my body language suggests weariness. The chicks seem repulsed by me today. I approach a HB despite my sad state:

I see a HB8.5 blonde. I check her out out of the corner of my eye, and she is looking right at me. She looks fearful rather than looking at me with desire.

Me: is this buffet any good?
Her: yea! she turns her back to me and walks away two feet into another line; not a good sign.
Me: Hey, are those sandwiches any good? I get into line with her.
Her: I don't know.
Me: Yea, I usually make my own, but maybe these are good.

--Two minute fluff--

Me: I better get goin'. What's your number.
Her: No, I can't....I have a boyfriend (b.s.)
Me: I'm not asking about your boyfriend, I'm asking you.
Her: No. I don't want to. Sorry! (smiles)
Me: ok, all right.
Her: she runs a couple of steps leaving the line. Then she walks away briskly.

I think a couple of people in line are laughing at me.

I see a couple more hotties at the store but am too gun shy after what is basically my worst approach of DJ bootcamp. I figure I have to approach, but my sluggish body language and my red, half closed eyes, give off a terrible vibe.

Lesson learned: get some sleep.

Email closes: 2
Phone number closes: 7
(Phone numbers active: 4)

Rejections for a number 8
Kiss closes: 1
F*ck closes: 0
Dates: 0

Things have to get better than this. Gotta be my worst two days of DJ'ing, despite all of my effort. I think I'm trying TOO hard.

 

[Ever onward]

allan,

EV = Elicit Value. As in do you Elicit enough value in yourself so that when you call these chicks they're anticipating your call.

Some of the great PUA's Elicit so much value, the chicks volunteer their numbers.

Lesson learned: have definite plans in mind when calling, not some vaguely sexual b.s. Have a PLAN. With the Hispanic HB, I just said we should celebrate, and that was my suggestion to the blonde HB as well. I need something more definite.

Yeah it's good to have plans. David D. always says its the man's job to lead.

Things have to get better than this. Gotta be my worst two days of DJ'ing, despite all of my effort. I think I'm trying TOO hard.

Maybe you are trying a bit too hard. I know your night time game is lacking right now but maybe that is what's needed. Go to some classy martini bar......or maybe a bar at a hotel, I've heard good things about them. Just go out with the intent of socializing and having fun without an agenda. When you do that, chicks can smell it and with your new social skills, you might do all right.

Your lucky you live in such a big town. I'm from such a small area that I'm afraid to approach because everybody knows everybody it seems.

At least your putting yourself out there, unlike my sorry butt!

 

[iveyleeger]

Critique from a Keyboard Jockey

<stepping away from keyboard>

Ok, I like your effort, so I want to point out a few obvious things, now that KJ's are allowed to comment.

First, never admit you did nothing last night. Or lie. Just leave it a mystery.

"I went out."

If you went out to your mailbox to mail a bill, you are good. Smile, change topic. If she wants to know where, she can join you next time.

"Where?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."

Never say you sat at home doing email. Be a mystery. You know that, just reminding you.

Second, never let her get away with "the phone disconnected" or any other lie. Every time you let them get one over on you, you look like a nicer nice guy. Death. Instead, run your C&F on that sh-t.

"I think your phone disconnected."
"Uh, yeah. When it got a look at your cat."
"I don't have a cat."
"Oh, that was your BF?"

Or whatever. Point is, call them on that sh-t. This is an opportunity to show that you are not AFC. Women want to be called on their BS. They are testing you. So pretend it's your sister or something and give as good as you get. You wouldn't let her get away with that, right?

Third, you can't just call up and ask if they know who this is, or ask what they are doing. You gotta have an agenda, and an attitude, and get it across fast.

"Hey, this is Allen, the sexy stud you almost managed to pick up at the supermarket last night. I decided to give you a second chance to go out with me, tom. at 7pm."

Or whatever. Point being, show some game, set a date, and close the deal. Or make them reject. Never take a call back later. You will hate yourself. Make them say yes or no. WOmen usually can't say no, so you get yes. They might not show, but at least then they get to feel like sh-t instead of you.

Fourth, you often say "we fluffed." What the heck is that? It ain't in the bible, I checked. Are you discounting the importance of what is going on during that first impression? There is no fluff in this game. Women don't date fluff. Fluff is for cats and pillows.

Finally, it is great that you lost your fear of the approach, but if they are now afraid of you, that ain't much better. So try this: Use *only* EC and get an HB to approach you and open you. No fluff. If you can do that, you know your body language is working and your look is compelling. If you can't, then you know you need to work on that.

And last note, if they do run away, that is a great chance to show that you are witty and resilient, and impress the other hottie in line who probably feels some sympathy for you. Have a stock line. Like,

"Damn, she must've seen my bag of frozen horse testicles."

Or whatever. You can do better than that. But if it sound half-clever, and like you don't care, you just scored points.

<back to my keyboard now>

 

[allan976]

I'll keep this one short, unlike my last post lol.

E O and Ivey, terrific feedback and suggestions guys. It's always good to get another point of view.

I recommend everyone check out "AsianPlayboy's" blog:

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/

His most recent post is about a "natural," a guy who basically lives without fear and for the moment. The "natural" breaks every rule in the DJ Bible but still apparently has mad game. This guy just loves people and parties, and other confident people love his willingness to break rules and go with the flow.

Strongly recommended.

Allan

 

[Ever onward]

That's a cool site. Do you post over there too? It's so hard to keep track of all the seduction websites, how did you find out abou that one?

I can't wait until late July when I can do my workshop/bootcamp. I'm going to do part of the DJ Bootcamp before then to build confidence....

Can't figure out a starting day though.

Anyways, Allan, I just reread your earlier post. The girl running away was NOT a good sign.

Remember not to be too needy with your body language. You might want to check out Tyler Durden's 25 point check list. It's cross posted in tips by a different poster.

later

 

[PUAGDL]

Yeah, I was thinking about your body language in your approaches... Currently I have done my first approaches (they had been somewhat lame, but at least I begun already...) I think one of the most important aspects is control of your inner frame... I don't know if I'm right, and correct me if it is the case, but for some reason I perceive your approaches as kind of apologetic... In my case I am approaching with the frame that I'm always the dominant one, that I'm the man and whatever the girls does it doesn't have an effect in me in any way... I'M ALWAYS THE SUPERIOR ONE. Don't confuse it with a jerk attitude... Simply act like a MAN, that's simple... Direct, unapologetic, casual, with a sense a humor, and with the attitude that subcomunicate that you *really* don't give a damn about what she does or thinks, and you approach her because you wanted, period... When you have this frame your body language follows naturally, and the girls sense it... This has been useful to me until now, maybe it could be useful to you too...
Note: I'm assuming you have the basics already covered about personal presentation: Good health, good appearance, nice clothes, grooming, etc....

 

[Ever onward]

I figured out what day I'm starting Bootcamp

I'm starting Monday, June 27th.

Even though I've had success with Bootcamp at various stages in the past, I am starting over at week 1 with the 50 hellos.

My goal is to work my way to week 4 by Friday, July 22nd. That weekend, I will drive to a good sized city, in this case Omaha, and I will approach as many women as I can on Fri. Sat. and Sunday. At that point, I'm sure I'll have way more than 10 rejections, and hopefully I will have a handle on "approach anxiety".

The weekend after that, I will attend Bootcamp with professional PUA's and I will actually be able to focus on learning from them instead of wasting the weekend dealing with the approach anxiety. After I return home, I will be a new man. I will be more social and then I will have the college experience I have always wanted for my senior year. And yes, I'm still in college, I started college when I was 24.

So allan and anyone else that checks this thread, you guys gotta hold me accountable through my Bootcamp and I will do the same. A bunch of guys have started a bootcamp thread in the main forum. I was tempted to join in with them. It's really exciting when you get a bunch of people involved. I would rather post here though, there is too much spam on the main board.

Anyways, having said all that,

I talked to a girl after class today. It was a big step for me since I've been in such a rut lately. We walked out of the building together and she asked asked me if I needed a ride (I didn't). Then I introduced myself and shook her hand. Not much to talk about but it's a start for me. Do you think her asking me if I needed a ride was an IOI? I've never been offered a ride out of the blue like that by a girl, strange.

I'd like to give her a ride, know what I'm sayin' fellas, lol

Later on I considered emailing her through the class website. But I figured hey, it's only one chick. I'm going to be meeting a ton of girls in the next month and a half, once I get started...

 

[Ever onward]

Just looking for a good Woman to laugh and share my life with, with as little drama as possible is this so hard to find?.

YES!

good woman = oxymoron

 

[allan976]

DJ Boot Camp,

Week 7, Day 18 (Wednesday):

I got an email from the HB7.5 who's in show biz. She basically told me, in a very direct but polite tone, to get lost. She says she is engaged and is not interested in me pursuing her. Apparently, I've been calling her when her fiance is present, which is making him very uncomfortable, and so that's that. I'm glad she was upfront about the situation. Whew! That was a close one--I'm glad the fiance didn't come knockin' on my door.


I'm at a bit of a fork in the road with my other three numbers which are still active.

1. HB8 who's in the music biz (Week 7, Day 8). She told me when we first met that she travels alot. The last couple of times I've called, I've gotten her answering machine. I'll try again.

2. HB8 Hispanic girl (Week 7, Day 10). The last time I was able to get her live on the phone, I semi-proposed a date. That is, I told her that we should get together this week (Thursday) and celebrate the end of finals.

Her: "uuh, yea... call me back."

Lesson learned: I should have proposed something very concrete, rather than something extremely amorphous and vague.

3. Blonde HB8 (Week 7, Day 13). This is a vexing situation. I got her to kiss close me on our first meeting at the coffeeshop. In retrospect, I think she was hinting she was available for an immediate hookup by telling me her street address. However, I was so clueless, I assumed she needed/wanted a drink before a hookup. I think she wanted to get straight to the hookup, sans drink.

I met her on the street a couple of days later, but was not in my 'game' mode and felt I flubbed it (see Week 7, Day 15). She still gave me buying signals (laughing loudly at all my stupid jokes), but I didn't really try to hook it up right then and there. I suspect she might be losing interest, since she suspects I am losing interest, due to my two flubbed approaches.

As with the Hispanic girl above, I called the blonde HB later and suggested that we get together this week (tonight actually) to celebrate the end of finals).

Her: "uuh, call me back, ok?"

She told me that she finishes her exam late at night (10 PM) and was not sure if she'd have the energy for going out after finishing up two finals that day. I asked her on the phone if she's available another day, but still don't offer concrete plans, only a vague suggestion we get together.

Her: "maybe."

Question: Did I screw up the calls by not suggesting some concrete activities for these two girls? I vaguely suggested that these two girls and I get together to celebrate the end of the school year/finals. In person, I suggested concrete activities such as going to a cafe to study, or going to a specific bar to get a drink.

Also, with HB8 blonde, I told her that I was really looking forward to the end of the week. When she asked what was happening at the end of the week, I said:

"you and me"

she said:

"oh, I thought there was something exciting at the end of the week."

I think this was a major hint that I should have offered her some concrete plans. Odd, first it seems she wanted to skip the 'date' and get to the hook up, but over the phone, she seemed to poo poo the direct hook up in favor of the date! Crazy!

Question: When these girls ask me to call back, are they saying:

a) 'call back and offer up a concrete fun plan and exact date, you bozo so I have something to look forward to'

or is it a case of:

b) 'i'm telling you to call back because I'm not that interested in you, but I don't have the guts to say 'no' directly...get the hint?'

Question 2: Do you guys agree with my take on the HB8 blonde?


As far as my recent approaches, I'm sucking big time. The problem is, I wake up VERY EARLY these days. Later in the day, I have red eyes, am drowsy as hell, and I think my overall body language suggests fatigue. Plus, I have multiple looming professional deadlines. Before, I was able to wake up at a later time, and my deadlines seemed far off in the horizon. As a result, I am now stressed and sleep deprived and am trying to overcompensate in my 'sarges' by acting too aggressively. My actions therefore, suggest neediness, desperation and even creepiness recently. I am going to get some massive rest this Saturday and hope for the best after that.

---

Email closes: 2
Phone number closes: 7
(Phone numbers active: 3 or 4)

Rejections for a number 8
Kiss closes: 1
F*ck closes: 0
Dates: 0

 

[al77]

1. HB8 who's in the music biz (Week 7, Day 8). She told me when we first met that she travels alot. The last couple of times I've called, I've gotten her answering machine. I'll try again.

2. Question: Did I screw up the calls by not suggesting some concrete activities for these two girls? I vaguely suggested that these two girls and I get together to celebrate the end of the school year/finals. In person, I suggested concrete activities such as going to a cafe to study, or going to a specific bar to get a drink.

3. Question: When these girls ask me to call back, are they saying:
a) 'call back and offer up a concrete fun plan and exact date, you bozo so I have something to look forward to'

or is it a case of:

b) 'i'm telling you to call back because I'm not that interested in you, but I don't have the guts to say 'no' directly...get the hint?'


4. Question: Do you guys agree with my take on the HB8 blonde?

[/B]

1. What is you phone routine, i.e. when you get her answering machine... you dont leave a message? How often you call her?
and at what time? I suspect it is better to call her at night on a weekday when she is supposed to be at home doing nothing.

2. Yes, you are right on that. Not to be specific doesnt mean to come up with the name of the cafe. You have to come up with a specific day and time and set up the date offering whatever "to celebrate, to have a drink, to try some coffee you didn't try before etc" If she hears some bague thing without specific intention she is going to be even more vague.

3. There re multiple answers of course, but mostly likely her IL is not high or the timing is wrong. Nothing can be done about her IL, but try to set up specific time for the date. If she still "I dont know, call me back" well..then NEXT her right there, she is not interesetd - dont chase those low IL gals, they drain your energy and lower your spirit.
Remember to offere her two separate days like Tuesday adn Thursday, if she is busy or "call me back" - she is clearly not interested. If you go for just one day, she might be genuinly busy but doesn't want to offer you a day herself. (again low IL) still she might go out with you if you suggest another day.

4. I agree. It is such a bummer when you dont feel like you are in the "game" mode...it happens to me often even in simple situation: female cashier: "So you got plans for weekend?"
Me: "WTF?? Why do you care?" I never heard that small talk opener from a pretty cashier....I didn't even feel like talking "Plans? No". (( Obviously she was just trying to talk to customers, but I was in such a low mood I didn't feel like talking at all. How do you deal with this?

 

[Ever onward]

Allan,

I think maybe your concentrating too much on the success you've already had.

Think about it. If you were out there getting 5 new phone numbers a day, would you care much if one chick on your list was flaking on you? Nope, you wouldn't give it a second thought. You would tear up her number and say NEXT.

So don't focus on these girls so much, you sound like your being needy. If you get a number call her and set up a date (have something in mind). If she says maybe some other time, call her back ONCE. If she flakes again, NEXT.

Read some of Anti-Dump's posts in the bible that are compiled by Pook. Don't let these girls waste your time. Your time is valuable. Every minute you waste on a flake is one you could be spending with a quality girl.

I stand by my earlier post. You need to go out to a laid back bar this weekend and just chill. Have fun, relax. Let the game come to you. Don't be needy. Play it cool.

 

[allan976]

After reading the feedback, it's clear that I'm developing a sense of 'entitlement' in relationship to these girls who I've gotten numbers from, although quite frankly, I barely know them. That is, I'm so 'proud' of my 'accomplishments' (number/kiss closing, getting initial buying signals) that I am overlooking the fact that I've had very little interaction with these girls and therefore their IL could not be all that high without my getting to know them better.

My logic, or illogic, goes as follows:

'hey, I met these two chicks and I kino'ed one of 'em (the blonde) and got her going real good and the Hispanic HB was giving me buying signals like playing with her hair...THEREFORE, I DESERVE some action/sex from these girls.'

Obviously, that's not the way it works. This sense of entitlement is making me lazy, hence I am just calling up at some random times basically suggesting a hookup and the girls are not going for it.

I think my game needs to be tighter than that if I am going to succeed. Thanks for the reality check.

 

[Ever onward]

[After reading the feedback, it's clear that I'm developing a sense of 'entitlement' in relationship to these girls who I've gotten numbers from, although quite frankly, I barely know them. That is, I'm so 'proud' of my 'accomplishments' (number/kiss closing, getting initial buying signals) that I am overlooking the fact that I've had very little interaction with these girls and therefore their IL could not be all that high without my getting to know them better.

My logic, or illogic, goes as follows:

'hey, I met these two chicks and I kino'ed one of 'em (the blonde) and got her going real good and the Hispanic HB was giving me buying signals like playing with her hair...THEREFORE, I DESERVE some action/sex from these girls.'

Obviously, that's not the way it works. This sense of entitlement is making me lazy, hence I am just calling up at some random times basically suggesting a hookup and the girls are not going for it.

I think my game needs to be tighter than that if I am going to succeed. Thanks for the reality check.

Your doing fine my man. It's because of you that I decided to return to bootcamp before my professional bootcamp at the end of July. You just need to get back out there and meet some new women. It's been too long since you've done a grocery store FR!

Remember it's all a learning process. Success will come later. Just remember each interaction is a learning experience. Once you learn how to be successful with women, success will come naturally.

A lot of guys in the main forum are starting a bootcamp and I'm getting fired up over it. Now I can't decide if I should post my experiences next to you, who actually has the courage to do approaches, or a bunch of guys who might bail out but who are all excited and just starting out.

I'm torn man

 

[iveyleeger]

Finally, an easy call. Post here. Allan is the only guy who actually does the CA's. The rest get all excited, do a bunch of hello's, and then disappear. One day I will grab my balls and have something to post here other than keyboard jockey commentary. Until then, just a fan . . .