Been balling my eyes out the last few hours..

[DonGorgon]

I like what you said there:

A woman moves on months before she actually pulls the trigger on a breakup.

I'm going to use that in future advice. That way, these guys understand that there's no way of fixing these broken relationships.

reality is very painful and hard to bare.. but its all i know..

I have a GF now and i know eventually she will be gone but i will do my best to get her hooked on me and not get hooked on her.. i F her till she beggs me to stop then hardly call when we are appart .. she loves that hot cold BS

 

[Jhcl4000]

Started talking to other girls and have been feeling a bit better, so I decided to play this chicks game and see what happens.

Texts from yesterday:

Her: Hey. I'm driving through *my area* and you are on my mind. Are you doing okay?

Me: Yeah, I'm doing well. I've had some time to settle down and think, and do believe that we should continue to see each other. Plus, come on.. We have our entire list of celebratory activities that we've yet to carry out. We can't just leave those undone.

Her: Hmm.. That is surprising. And possibly dangerous? I do see your point re: the list. By the way, congrats on the good grades, smarty-pants. (I had posted a pic of my college grades/GPA on my Facebook wall)

Me: Thanks. But hey, I'm actually kinda busy right now and have a party to go to later.. So lemme hit you up tomorrow and we can set up our "celebration day" for next week.

Her: I think we need to talk about this. Call me tomorrow. Have fun at your party. Don't get too drunk

Called her this afternoon. No answer. Left a message saying "Hey *name*, it's JHCL4000. Let's talk. Gimme a call. Bye."

Got a text from her 4 hours later saying: "Hey. I've been in a pretty depressive, funky mood for the past 24 hours and I didn't want to talk to you like that. I'm going to *friends* to watch the Pats game. I will call you after that if I'm feeling better. That okay?

Responding saying only: "Okay. That's fine."

Was browsing Facebook and chatting with some friends about two hours ago, and she messages me..

Her: Hey

Me: Hey. What's up?

Her: Watching the game. What're you doing?

Me: Relaxing. Did you wanna talk?

Her: Yeah, I do. I'm a little tied up right now. Wrapping xmas presents. and I'm supposed to work on decorating *friends* gingerbread house.
what are you doing tonight?

Me: Have nothing planned

Her: Are you angry with me?

Me: Not at all. Why would I be?

Her: I don't know. I guess I just feel bad so I expect it or something.
and I'm not in a good mental place to handle feeling any worse.

Me: Why is that?

Her: Why is what?

Me: “Not in a good mental place”

Her: I don't know. like I said I've been in a funk. This time of year is always hard for me, too much dark not enough sun. I'm hoping that's just it. But i've had a lot on my mind & just feeling kinda down about my life/myself.

Me: Well, I'm gonna get off of here. Give me a call when you wanna talk.

EDIT: I just got off the phone with her, and Christ.. I can tell that this girl lives on drama and the less interested I act the more interested she is. She asked me what changed blah blah blah and I told her making "adjustments," seeing other people, detaching myself from the situation, and realizing where we are at/that a relationship between us wouldn't work anyways. I even told her that if she doesn't want to be with me and doesn't see what I could give her, then she doesn't deserve to be with me. I didn't cry or any sh*t. I laughed a number of times. Even when I could hear her crying a little bit, I made jokes and laughed.

We scheduled my "celebration" for Tuesday, then sex talk started. It was pretty much all her. She was asking me to come over, then actually started to BEG me to come over. I'm not exaggerating, either. She was (and still is) begging me to come over. I even said to her "are you begging?" To which she responded "maybe a little.." I kept telling her she'd have to wait till Tuesday. Now, even after the phone conversation she's texting me..

"I wish I had a video of you doing what you do to me to watch right now."

"F*ck babe, my p*ssy is so wet and I really want you here. Do you just want me to beg more? Will that help?"

"God I want you tongue on my cl!t. This toy just ain't cuttin' it."

"And you could at LEAST have the decency to tell me what you would do to me if you WERE here.... "

 

[backbreaker]

lol, there is a gif, god i wish we could embed gifs on this site, that sums up your post to absolute perfection. fvck it here you go


http://gifsoup.com/view4/2172419/creepy-indian-guy-o.gif


i'm freaking done. I have no problem with helping people but you don't' want help. You are just the type that has to go through what you have to go through, because that's the only way you will ever learn. you are too hard headed.

I mean, didn't do absolutely anything anyone told him to do lol. and again the second she mentions sex, here he goes again.

 

[Jhcl4000]

lol, there is a gif, god i wish we could embed gifs on this site, that sums up your post to absolute perfection. fvck it here you go


http://gifsoup.com/view4/2172419/creepy-indian-guy-o.gif


i'm freaking done. I have no problem with helping people but you don't' want help. You are just the type that has to go through what you have to go through, because that's the only way you will ever learn. you are too hard headed.

I mean, didn't do absolutely anything anyone told him to do lol. and again the second she mentions sex, here he goes again.

I didn't go..

 

[rhcp83]

Dude, next the crazy b1tch. Btw, Pats game meaning you live in New England? Hand her over to me, I'll ram her up the ass raw dog then throw her on the curb where she belongs.

It's guys like you that give women so much power.

 

[floydb25]

This girl is a basket case, dude. She's depressive, has low self-esteem, is insecure, can't make up her mind about anything, sends mixed signals, loves drama. She's not going to get better. All that will happen is, your emotions will be all over the place - because she's nuts, and is going to take you along for the crazy ride. You're getting yourself in a huge mess.

The results are not pleasant, especially if you keep dating this kind of person. Do NOT try to save her, or make up excuses for her. You're not going to figure her out, or tame her. Stop wasting time.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

There is a quick fix... listen to me.

First you get her to come to your house, talk her up a bit, do that C&F and kino. Get her laughing her ass off... grab her hand and slowly stroke her arm... and guide her to your bedroom.

Eventually you just sit there and stare at her right in her eyes and don't even smile, just keep a serious face... then just go in for a kiss and meet her about 70% of the way. I guarantee she'll go in and kiss you... eventually just start messing with her hair and turn her on a lot. When things get hot and heavy start peeling off her clothes.

This is the kicker!

Get on your bed, lay down, and let her pull your pants and underwear off. When she's looking down at your junk, she'll see the sand flowing out of your vagina.

 

[Jariel]

So you decided to do the exact opposite of what we told you. I cringed reading how you chased after her and gave up your dignity and I'm sure she did the same.

You're probably thinking those horny texts are a good sign, but just wait until she's not horny or she meets another guy. Wait and see...

I'm not just speaking as a victim here. I do this same thing to various women I know. I'll keep them in the background and give them attention when I'm horny, lonely or when I need an ego boost. Sometimes I'll go round and fvck them, then once it's out of my system I'll continue my search for someone to date more seriously. Yeah, it sounds like a cruel thing to do, but it's their fault for allowing me to do it. If they stood upto me or refused to put out (and some women do) I'd respect them a lot more for it, perhaps even take them seriously as dating material.

 

[JonJaper]

Well...in life, you can learn the easy way (learning by listening to experienced people), the hard way (learning from your mistakes)...

Or... you can make mistake after mistake and NEVER LEARN. I think OP belongs to the third category.

 

[pdx1138]

A year ago I was seeing a drama riddled roller-coaster the same as yours.

Eventually you'll wise up...perhaps it could be your new years resolution to get over her.

I'm with a no-drama girl now and I can't express in words how much better it is to be with a normal person.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Fvck advice and live your life!

 

[floydb25]

So you decided to do the exact opposite of what we told you. I cringed reading how you chased after her and gave up your dignity and I'm sure she did the same.

You're probably thinking those horny texts are a good sign, but just wait until she's not horny or she meets another guy. Wait and see...

I'm not just speaking as a victim here. I do this same thing to various women I know. I'll keep them in the background and give them attention when I'm horny, lonely or when I need an ego boost. Sometimes I'll go round and fvck them, then once it's out of my system I'll continue my search for someone to date more seriously. Yeah, it sounds like a cruel thing to do, but it's their fault for allowing me to do it. If they stood upto me or refused to put out (and some women do) I'd respect them a lot more for it, perhaps even take them seriously as dating material.

Listen to this man.... Or don't, like usual. Women do this kind of thing all the time. Especially the kind you are chasing after. Crazy *****es aren't the innocent victims they claim to be.

 

[rhcp83]

So you decided to do the exact opposite of what we told you. I cringed reading how you chased after her and gave up your dignity and I'm sure she did the same.

You're probably thinking those horny texts are a good sign, but just wait until she's not horny or she meets another guy. Wait and see...

I'm not just speaking as a victim here. I do this same thing to various women I know. I'll keep them in the background and give them attention when I'm horny, lonely or when I need an ego boost. Sometimes I'll go round and fvck them, then once it's out of my system I'll continue my search for someone to date more seriously. Yeah, it sounds like a cruel thing to do, but it's their fault for allowing me to do it. If they stood upto me or refused to put out (and some women do) I'd respect them a lot more for it, perhaps even take them seriously as dating material.

So what makes you so innocent then? You complain women play you and use you and don't take you seriously as long term potential, then do the same exact thing to other women. Players get played.

 

[Jariel]

So what makes you so innocent then? You complain women play you and use you and don't take you seriously as long term potential, then do the same exact thing to other women. Players get played.

I've never claimed to be innocent. I've been a player for some time and I do have an inner jerk, but I always lose this frame when I meet a woman I want to be with for the long term. But I am always straight with these women and tell them I'm not looking for anything serious.

This is the sad nature of modern relationships. Guys play girls, so the girl loses faith and starts playing guys, and vice versa.

 

[perseverance]

This is the sad nature of modern relationships. Guys play girls, so the girl loses faith and starts playing guys, and vice versa.

It's a case of "whatever you can do, I can do it better".

I find the most successful people in life are the one's who know when it is the right time to severe ties i.e. Richard Branson selling off Virgin Cinema's and Virgin Megastore when he knew he was onto a dud of a business venture. A successful person also knows when to take a gamble i.e. Branson with Northern Rock etc.

This head case should have been thrown out by the OP as soon as she didn't want the samethings that he wanted. No, the OP is a desperado who is hell bent on trying to persuade her to be with him. If a girl needs persuasion to be with me then she isn't the type of woman I want.

 

[Jariel]

This head case should have been thrown out by the OP as soon as she didn't want the samethings that he wanted. No, the OP is a desperado who is hell bent on trying to persuade her to be with him. If a girl needs persuasion to be with me then she isn't the type of woman I want.

I totally agree. I used to think like the OP too at one time and chase after women who didn't want me. I failed 100% of the time, I prolongued my pain, I irritated them, humiliated myself and made it beyond repair. Then I started accepting rejections with dignity and indifference and I realised how quickly the pain disappeared, how quickly I could move on, or in many cases, how moving on turned the situation around so that she was chasing me.

But even if he gets her back, things will never be the same again.

 

[perseverance]

If a girl says "NO" to me then I accept her decision and I move on.

If a girl says "NO", but then it comes to light that she was just "playing hard to get" then I have question her maturity levels and if I want a girl who wants to play games? My answer is always "NO", so she gets slapped with the "LJBF" speech.

I can play games too, I don't like it, but I'll do it if that's how a girl wants "sh*t" to go down.

 

[Jhcl4000]

Well, it's over for good, and it was my doing..

We had another talk last night at f*cking 3:30-5:30 AM, which started when I brought up wanting to do something with her on NYE and her telling me that she already had plans (and when I asked about going, she pretty much told me that she didn't want me to go with her). That then led to her telling me that a friend, who she used to be romantically involved with, is coming to visit her very soon and doesn't know what's going to happen with him (I actually already knew about this because I saw her Skype conversations with him). She told me that she has feelings for me, but also has some feelings for him, and is confused and needs to find out where he's at, and needs some space from me the rest of this week to figure things out blah blah blah.

As much as I WANT to keep seeing her, I know it's not healthy and that I NEED to stop seeing her. It's just felt like I - WE - haven't been going anywhere/moving forward and that we're never going to go anywhere/move forward together since she doesn't want to be committed. I told her this, and I told her that no matter what happens, the only outcome I see is ME ending up feeling used.

Whatever.. She said numerous things that showed me that she IS actually afraid of losing me and that she doesn't want us to stop seeing each other, but I'm not going to type any more of the details of it up. None of it matters anyways. What matters is that she isn't so afraid of losing me that she's willing to commit to me. She rather let me go and maintain her status of "single" than be in a relationship with me.

Some tears were shed by both of us. Nothing like last time, though. And even though she wanted me to stay, I eventually ended up kissing her and walking out the door (and almost puking outside).

Oh, and apparently, I'm the third guy who this has happened to in the last year. Friends with benefits - leading to the guy falling in love with her - leading to her rejecting their relationship proposals. How she put it was "three guys have left my apartment crying and heartbroken this past year" or something.

 

[PokerStar]

man this girl aint worth the toliet paper pieces left on your a-hole.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Oh, and apparently, I'm the third guy who this has happened to in the last year. Friends with benefits - leading to the guy falling in love with her - leading to her rejecting their relationship proposals. How she put it was "three guys have left my apartment crying and heartbroken this past year" or something.

I just looked back and realized....you've only been "dating" this girl for less than half a year?


Shut up.