Normal... This whole good guy, bad guy thing is blown way out of proportion. I think it stems from early failures as a nice guy. But, its never being a good person that's the problem - just as being the bad guy isnt why you're successful. I don't know of any girls that genuinely wanted a bad person, and none of those relationships lasted for very long. Many girls avoid bad guys. The only exceptions are the stupid, shallow, low self-esteem, party girls. But, who really wants a relationship with them anyway?
At the same time, no girls really want a nice guy either. Neither extreme is healthy or effective. In fact, they're opposite sides of the same coin. Most jerks are former nice guys with a huge chip on their shoulders. Same insecurities and character flaws. The jerk simply hides it, and doesn't let anyone get too close - because of what happened before.
The core of the problem with nice guys is caring too much. Trying too hard. Giving away all their power. Waiting for her hand and foot. Chasing her endlessly. Accepting scraps. Being her doormat. Allowing her to get away with murder. Letting her run the show. Being desperate, clingy, co-dependant, etc. No matter what she does, or how poorly she treats him - he allows her to get away with it.
Everything he does is actually for him - not her. He does all of these things because he NEEDS her. He wants her to choose him - because he's insecure and afraid of being alone. He doesn't want to lose her, and tries to accomplish this by giving her everything she wants - with no regards for himself. Little does he know that everything he does to win her over pushes her away, and makes her view him as a weak, desperate, AFC. Then, he blames her for everything, and calls her a ***** for not choosing him - when he's the one with the problem.
This is generally where the transition to a jerk takes place. Only, he's not having success because he's a jerk - its because he stopped doing all of those unattractive things from before. He's being a challenge; independent; doesn't care. It comes naturally with the territory. Unfortunately, some people never stop being bitter, and continue hating / treating people poorly - only to find themselves in the same predicament as before. They were alone when they tried too hard, and are alone when they push everyone away and treat them like garbage.
It's still the same person underneath it all. Still whiney, bitter, insecure, afraid, unpleasant... Blaming everyone else for not accepting them - when they're the ones who try to win people's affection by doing things for them.
A lot of former nice guys who try adapting "game" into their personalities aren't effective for very long, either - because its a charade. Much like a jerk who pretends to be nice - their true colors are going to show eventually. He's still doing everything to have her accept him - only, he's going about it at a different angle. The core problem is still there. It doesn't take long before he gives away all his power and chases after her - because he's still doing everything with the sole intention of winning her over. This is where he usually fails all her tests and games, and shows his true colors.
Ex: if she loses interest - he goes ape****, and chases with her incredible zeal. Or, if she threatens to break up with him - he does everything in his power to make it not so - including giving away all the power - only to continue being manipulated. Or, if she mentions another guy - he becomes insanely jealous possessive.
He's only pretending to not care. Deep down, he's still doing everything to get her to choose him, and is still going to fail. Once his "game" is unsuccessful - his true colors are going to come out in full-force. He's still an insecure ***** who flies off the handle whenever he doesn't get his way / people don't accept him.
