AFC buys my gf $450 necklace

[My Name is Nobody]

how can she be a gold digger when she comes from nothing, has nothing, and asks for nothing?
she isn't asking that guy to spend his money on her, and she isn't asking for anything... this chump is offering.
he is calling her up, asking her if he can take her to go shopping partly because he feels bad for her and her children, and partly because he would give his left nut to be around her.
she could say no, but getting some groceries and a new outfit for her kids, well it sounds like winning the lottery when you have nothing.
its like sitting at home eating oatmeal for every meal and then someone inviting you out to dinner for steak.
if she tells him he shouldn't spend his money on her, he tells her that he doesn't really need all of it and wants to share it with her.
so she isn't what you call a gold digger.
she is more of an "advantager" which is one that will accept something they need or take advantage of someone to get what they need.

lol leave it to the females to come in and stick up for this disgusting behavior.

 

[penkitten]

lol leave it to the females to come in and stick up for this disgusting behavior.

im not sticking up for her... i am just pointing out a few things.
dating her sounds like trying to tame a wild animal.
you think if you keep at it long enough you will beak her, but in the long run, she will either run off or turn on you and attack.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

im not sticking up for her... i am just pointing out a few things.
dating her sounds like trying to tame a wild animal.
you think if you keep at it long enough you will beak her, but in the long run, she will either run off or turn on you and attack.

So do you think she is giving this guy sex for all he is doing? And yes a BJ constitutes sex.

 

[penkitten]

So do you think she is giving this guy sex for all he is doing? And yes a BJ constitutes sex.

nope.
because if she was, she wouldn't have had time to call up bible and end up going home with him for it, instead she would have been with the guy who just took her shopping.

she is used to men all trying to get down her pants all the time, and she knows what to say and how to say it, to get out of sleeping with a guy where he won't be mad at her.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

nope.
because if she was, she wouldn't have had time to call up bible and end up going home with him for it, instead she would have been with the guy who just took her shopping.

she is used to men all trying to get down her pants all the time, and she knows what to say and how to say it, to get out of sleeping with a guy where he won't be mad at her.

She didn't go home with Bible. He went to her place after her "date" with Mr. AFC.

 

[penkitten]

She didn't go home with Bible. He went to her place and fukked and then left because she refused to go back to him.

on contrary, she got dropped off at her house where she lives with her teenage brother and grandmother, where she called bible... she met him outside and was in his car twenty minutes and begged him to take her to his house, where they had sex, then he took her home when he was finished.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

on contrary, she got dropped off at her house where she lives with her teenage brother and grandmother, where she called bible... she met him outside and was in his car twenty minutes and begged him to take her to his house, where they had sex, then he took her home when he was finished.

Well good for Bible. I am just in awe that a man could be such a b!tch spending all that money on a girl without at least getting any sex in return. It's unbelievable.

 

[penkitten]

Well good for Bible. I am just in awe that a man could be such a b!tch spending all that money on a girl without at least getting any sex in return. It's unbelievable.

perhaps being unbelievable to you is a good thing, as we continue to strive to teach the guys on this site that money can't buy you love.
however, since i am a female, i can vouch for how often it happens.
when i was single, every time i went out on the town, one to twenty different guys would ask to buy me a drink. they were all strangers, and i would never take anything from a stranger.
i understand it is a way to break the ice, and that men just do this randomly to try to hook up with a female, however if you start buying strangers gifts, what would you do for someone you really had the hots for that you personally knew?
that is when it all boils down to a gal's independence, and it is certainly hard to be independent, when you have nothing and are going through a hard time (such as the girl we are talking about.)
you have to have a determined and strong spirit to refuse gifts that are made in vain, you have to want to crawl out of your own gutter on your own.
if you have emotional issues, crazy home life, bad up bringing, addictions, etc .. it all becomes so much harder.
add that together with the way women are raised to be now a days, (men always get what they want, so now we will take what we want to benefit ourselves mentality ) and this is what you get.

some of you are going to look at that chump and laugh because you were never so desperate and look at her and become even more bitter to women. others of you are going to look at the chump and feel badly because he knows no better, and look at her because society made her feel as if this was ok.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

perhaps being unbelievable to you is a good thing, as we continue to strive to teach the guys on this site that money can't buy you love.
however, since i am a female, i can vouch for how often it happens.
when i was single, every time i went out on the town, one to twenty different guys would ask to buy me a drink. they were all strangers, and i would never take anything from a stranger.
i understand it is a way to break the ice, and that men just do this randomly to try to hook up with a female, however if you start buying strangers gifts, what would you do for someone you really had the hots for that you personally knew?
that is when it all boils down to a gal's independence, and it is certainly hard to be independent, when you have nothing and are going through a hard time (such as the girl we are talking about.)
you have to have a determined and strong spirit to refuse gifts that are made in vain, you have to want to crawl out of your own gutter on your own.
if you have emotional issues, crazy home life, bad up bringing, addictions, etc .. it all becomes so much harder.
add that together with the way women are raised to be now a days, (men always get what they want, so now we will take what we want to benefit ourselves mentality ) and this is what you get.

some of you are going to look at that chump and laugh because you were never so desperate and look at her and become even more bitter to women. others of you are going to look at the chump and feel badly because he knows no better, and look at her because society made her feel as if this was ok.

Yeah, but those two are still ****ing one way or another. The AFC is getting some ass. Bible is winning and he's doing great. But if he's sharing, then he needs to get to the next level because sharing isn't an option.

 

[reset]

Dude no one's winning in this situation. Think about the type of people you want to associate with because their character is a reflection of your own.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Dude no one's winning in this situation. Think about the type of people you want to associate with because their character is a reflection of your own.

I meant that bible is winning compared to the AFC. But nobody is winning while sharing the same girl. I don't know if I could deal with that, there would be some drama going down.

 

[reset]

What is he winning? His mind is pre-occupied with what some other guy is doing to the girl he says he's not really that into. He's in a self-inflicted competition with a huge AFC. You need to be in competition with yourself. Other guys don't count. If spinning plates is what you're gonna do, about the last thing I would want is to know the story of the other guy involved.

I'd even go so far as to say you should spin plates but expect the chicks to stay loyal to you. Build a harem. Why not.

 

[JackPrescott]

Truthfully, she's more of a plate than my gf. I have another girl she knows about. This girl is hotter, though, amazing in bed, always has a stable of AFCs after her. She's a single mommy, which is why I am reluctant to be serious with her. But we can't seem to leave each other alone. afaik, I am the only one she is having sex with, even though she knows about my other gf.

One AFC of hers is off his rocker crazy for her. He wants to marry her and adopt her kid, wants to have another kid with her. He buys a constant stream of gifts for her kid. He's not rich, either, works construction for probably $12 an hour. He just got his taxes back and bought her a dozen roses in a vase, that $450 necklace, and is taking her shopping tonight to spend a bunch of money on her and her kid. He'll probably blow his entire tax refund check on her. I bet he drops a grand this week. This girl is dirt poor, other than being hot and smart, she has nothing, no money at all, barely able to support her own kid. If love was ever for sale, he should be able to buy her.

All he's getting, though, is the chance to spend more money on her. afaik, she had sex with him once in December - she was texting me that night 'I'm at a hotel with another guy and texting you, wtf?' I was with my other girl at the time. Maybe they've done it since, but I doubt it. We make fun of him a lot. She says the gifts make her feel guilty, but she still will accept them. Often when she is with him, she will sneak off to call me. Sometimes, he even watches her kid while she is off with me. And he's happy to do it. The poor guy has the AFC mindset ingrained in his psyche. It reminds me of the Offspring song - 'The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?' He's been married three times already; his wives evidently got bored of his AFC niceness.

I have had to deal with AFC advances in the past, but this guy is nuts. It would be easy to get mad and be angry at her for accepting his gifts, but that is not the way. Instead of showing a bruised ego, I just laugh at him and tease her about being for sale. She admits that he bores her to tears. As hard as it is, I will only say nice things about him. She will call me to tell me about his latest gift, probably trying to make me angry, and I'll coolly reply, "wow. That's great. He is a really nice guy." Then she'll be the one to insult him, saying something like, "Well then why am I sneaking away to call you?" Or, "if he could only give me a decent conversation."

Tonight, I was going to take her to her favorite restaurant. I don't mind spending money on her, because we always have sex. She knows that, unlike the AFCs, if I don't get what I want, then she does not get my attention. However, King AFC calls and wants to take her shopping to spend his tax money on her, so she is going out with him tonight to shop. Am I a little peeved about that? Of course. But I'm not going to let her know that! My response was, "ok. Call me after you send him home." And she will. She'll have me pick her up and take her to my house, then we'll fvck like we always do, and she'll sleep in my bed tonight. And I don't even have to buy her dinner.

I have taken these events to reinforce many points that are made here on sosuave. Some that come to mind:

Love can't be bought. A girl accepting a gift does not mean anything.

The greatest AMOG is a complete lack of jealousy or insecurity about her and other guys. AFCs are no competition. When you don't get jealous, it robs a beautiful woman of her power.

Any hot girl will have peripheral AFCs. Pay them little attention, except to enjoy a laugh at their expense now and then.

A woman would rather share a quality man than be faithful to a loyal AFC.

Love is not logical. Being the logical choice will get you nowhere.

What a dummy. Call him and ask him to buy her some Victoria's Secret thong underwear, and some stilletos, and tell him to get her some massage oil as well, for his next gifts to her.

 

[bbestar]

you know... pretend you were that child.

What if someone out there was playing games with your family. I'm not sure what the situation is but your only putting instability in this family.
If that guy cares enough for the child and her, you should let the girl and the child go, let them live life.
Your just giving the kid a bad childhood. You do know that children are most affected while growing up then anytime after.

Cut off contact with this family, change your phone number, and move.

This is from me who was once a child years ago.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If that guy cares enough for the child and her, you should let the girl and the child go, let them live life.
Your just giving the kid a bad childhood.


I respect that you are thinking about the child, but I don't know how the AFC guy is going to make the child happy - by spending money on her like he does women? He uses his kids as a guilt trip already when this girl dumps him. He tells her his kids loved her and they miss her, they want her to be their mommy. He also wants five kids and her not to work, so they would always be broke, especially if he is this foolish with money. Caring about a woman is not enough. In fact, the more a typical afc cares, the more he will destroy his chances. Even if these two lived happily ever after, he would always be a whipped wuss, and her little girl would never have an example of a healthy relationship on which to base her own, later in life. There is more involved than just caring.

And to the guys who are so concerned about what this girl is doing with other guys, that is another important point of this thread - you have to let go of insecurity and jealousy. Those feelings will always work against you. When you are free of them, you can have power over women like you have never had before.

 

[reset]

And to the guys who are so concerned about what this girl is doing with other guys, that is another important point of this thread - you have to let go of insecurity and jealousy. Those feelings will always work against you. When you are free of them, you can have power over women like you have never had before.

Dude, take this the right way. You are competing with this AFC dude. You're sitting around wondering what he's doing and how he's acting. In your mind he's competition. I think you'd prefer if she wasn't spending time with him.

But I totally agree with the point I quoted. You're right.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think you'd prefer if she wasn't spending time with him.

Of course; I don't disagree.

This morning her brought her a new phone, an elaborate one with Internet, etc, and said she was on his phone plan and he'll pay the bill. He wants to take her to a hotel room tonight.

Does that bother me? Of course. But instead of letting it get to me, I complained to her that I was supposed to have dinner with my other gf's parents tonight and am dreading it. She said I should get sloppy drunk and obnoxious, and then we each made fun of our respective other plates. We talked for half an hour; she said her stomach hurt from laughing. I told her I would ditch the other girl as soon as possible and call her. She said she does not believe me. I really do want to dump the other girl, but that is hard to do on the night we are doing the meet the parents dinner thing. She is going to be suspicious if I don't have sex with her, maybe I can tell her I am sick from dinner.

 

[Bible_Belt]

When you say "Power over women" are you talking about them not having an effect on you, or are you talking more about them having greatly increased attraction for you?

One begets the other. The alternatives you state are different facets of DJism, in my opinion. Maybe the 'not have an effect' comes first, but then they are attracted because you are the one guy who is not a puppy dog for them. Then when you see how attracted they are, they have even less of an effect on you, and so forth.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I just got back from my other gf's house, had dinner and great sex with her, then ditched her to call the girl this thread is about.

Instead of going out with the AFC, she is out drinking with her girlfriends, spending his money without him. She told me that I didn't even have to come and get her, that she would take a cab to my house, again, paid for with his money. She said she wants to get drunker first, and the AFC guy is texting her constantly as usual, so we shall see. That's apparently why he got her this new phone, her old one did not have texting.

After having just been with the other girl, I don't care nearly as much about where she spends the night. Now it is more a matter of curiosity about how much she can walk all over the AFC. I thought for a while that he might actually buy himself a lay, but upon closer inspection, a backbone is likely required, and he has none.

 

[penkitten]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=140745
interceptor's post on this one ties in with biblebelt's story