Abundance is the most important factor

BaronOfHair

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You are descending into deeper incel levels than I hitherto thought possible. Yes, by all means, go live on a Bulgarian rubbish dump with the Romani. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms, white saviour.
Said folks still aren't enthusiastic about their kinsmen(and women) mixing with dilicoys either
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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tksniper

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Purpose creates abundance. Don’t go out to approach women. Go out with an aim to learn something new, listen to an audiobook at a Starbucks, go to the gym, take a kickboxing class where women are there, etc. Fill your entire day with purpose of improving yourself and it will create serendipity with women.

Now, what MOST guys do is they drift around aimlessly looking for validation from women. And it is very obvious in your vibe and presence. Women can smell your neediness a mile away. This is why most guys don’t know how to create abundance. They have no purpose and drift around. They become NPC’s.
 

corrector

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Purpose creates abundance. Don’t go out to approach women. Go out with an aim to learn something new, listen to an audiobook at a Starbucks, go to the gym, take a kickboxing class where women are there, etc. Fill your entire day with purpose of improving yourself and it will create serendipity with women.

Now, what MOST guys do is they drift around aimlessly looking for validation from women. And it is very obvious in your vibe and presence. Women can smell your neediness a mile away. This is why most guys don’t know how to create abundance. They have no purpose and drift around. They become NPC’s.
I didn't know there were that many bums on here.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I agree with this, but I don't agree with the premise that abundance is cultivated by "plate spinning". Abundance is a mindset. You can have an abundance mindset in a vaccuum, with the simple mentality or self talk that says "there are an infinite # of women out there, and I can do better" or something along those lines. For this reason I think the plate spinning thing can be cope. However in general it's not going to hurt, and an analogy exists in the job market where you should continually have multiple interviews and job offers indefinitely so you don't ever take the first offer you get or get too invested in your current job without having options.

I only say this because you can still get wrapped up with a particular woman even if you have other women blowing up your phone begging to see your ****.

Point being, to truly have abundance you need to learn how to stop taking all women seriously and stop assuming any one of them is special. They're not special.
 

Sandow

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The mentality of abundance should come when it’s natural. In low times, I’ve tried portraying abundance when it really wasn’t there and I struggled. I had the mindset but it didn’t come off natural or believable. When you truly have options, you are more bold, nonchalant, and thus more confident and attractive. There is also a lot less thinking, things just happen naturally (because they are). Anyhow, all I’m saying is that you should keep as many girls in your obit as you can. BTW women probably have twice as many as you do.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Anyhow, all I’m saying is that you should keep as many girls in your obit as you can. BTW women probably have twice as many as you do.
My obituary will be filled with weeping women. :cool:
 

Ricky

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I think one issue with abundance and plate spinning philosophy is that while its great to deal with reducing neediness and also introduces you to a variety of options, you will never learn to manage conflict with women if you aggressively NEXT them to quickly.

I look at women in a sense like a portfolio. I've been married a long time but the marriage went south so i invest almost nothing in to it as its a stock whose value has dropped dramatically.

With the new women i see, i evaluate them on potential. Short term, potential long term.

I've had lots of sex and girlfriends in my time so i think what i look for is who would be a net positive in my life long term. Right now my focus is mainly on my daughter, my career is already pretty set so its just saving and investing.

Look at women as investments. You can totally sell off and trade the bad ones, but try to learn something from all of them. Sometimes there is a right girl at the wrong time, wrong girl at the right time, wrong girl at the wrong time, its rare to find the right girl at the right time, but it happens. Enjoy what you learn from all of them. Try to leave them better than you found them.
 

Divorced w 3

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Abundance is a mindset - it’s a continuously reinforcing belief that you can achieve at any point in life - be it at grammar school level or later when you’re a single parent like me and you start realizing that smashing attractive college students is actually a possibility.

Abundance is also more than just women - any time you realize that you’re abundant, you will more naturally be confident and not force outcomes - which is how attraction works in all social dynamics, because nobody likes to be forced into decisions.

Try having someone in front of you be unsure about a potential $50,000 commission you could make with a swipe of their pen and tell them that you’re good either way, you want what’s best for them - that is what abundance looks like.
 

corrector

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The mentality of abundance should come when it’s natural. In low times, I’ve tried portraying abundance when it really wasn’t there and I struggled. I had the mindset but it didn’t come off natural or believable. When you truly have options, you are more bold, nonchalant, and thus more confident and attractive. There is also a lot less thinking, things just happen naturally (because they are). Anyhow, all I’m saying is that you should keep as many girls in your obit as you can. BTW women probably have twice as many as you do.
Agreed. Anyone who says it's a mindset probably already has allot of options and doesn't know what they are talking about.
 

Divorced w 3

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Agreed. Anyone who says it's a mindset probably already has allot of options and doesn't know what they are talking about.
You either believe in yourself no matter what the situation, or you don’t. Positive feedback increases your belief, negative experiences when in a confident mindset are opportunities to learn. Options increase from feeling abundant, which leads to detachment from tying outcomes to one’s esteem, which is the ultimate sign of confidence, and which is a mindset. It’s when you’re not feeling that way, that you force outcomes, which repels others.

Were you the guy talking about not getting hugs? You’re not a good authority on this. Your posts are neon flashing signs of scarcity.

You would do well to humble yourself, try to do things differently and stop striking out so much. Go work out. Go take a walk or call a friend. Do something that brings good vibes into your life. Improve your mood, to improve your appetite to try new things and take risk, to improve your results. Fake it til you make it was not invented today on SoSuave.
 
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GoodMan32

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I think one issue with abundance and plate spinning philosophy is that while its great to deal with reducing neediness and also introduces you to a variety of options, you will never learn to manage conflict with women if you aggressively NEXT them to quickly.

I look at women in a sense like a portfolio. I've been married a long time but the marriage went south so i invest almost nothing in to it as its a stock whose value has dropped dramatically.

With the new women i see, i evaluate them on potential. Short term, potential long term.

I've had lots of sex and girlfriends in my time so i think what i look for is who would be a net positive in my life long term. Right now my focus is mainly on my daughter, my career is already pretty set so its just saving and investing.

Look at women as investments. You can totally sell off and trade the bad ones, but try to learn something from all of them. Sometimes there is a right girl at the wrong time, wrong girl at the right time, wrong girl at the wrong time, its rare to find the right girl at the right time, but it happens. Enjoy what you learn from all of them. Try to leave them better than you found them.
It goes both ways. Broads will "next" us at the drop of a hat (especially with how easy apps have made it for a broad to "next" us)
 

FlexpertHamilton

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The mentality of abundance should come when it’s natural. In low times, I’ve tried portraying abundance when it really wasn’t there and I struggled. I had the mindset but it didn’t come off natural or believable. When you truly have options, you are more bold, nonchalant, and thus more confident and attractive. There is also a lot less thinking, things just happen naturally (because they are). Anyhow, all I’m saying is that you should keep as many girls in your obit as you can. BTW women probably have twice as many as you do.
Conversely, if you don't have the ability to cultivate abundance on a whim, would having a few "plates" really give you abundance or would it just give you a false sense of security that turns into insecurity if/when they all drop off?

I would maintain abundance is ultimately just the same thing as indifference or outcome independance.
 

GoodMan32

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You either believe in yourself no matter what the situation, or you don’t. Positive feedback increases your belief, negative experiences when in a confident mindset are opportunities to learn. Options increase from feeling abundant, which leads to detachment from tying outcomes to one’s esteem, which is the ultimate sign of confidence, and which is a mindset. It’s when you’re not feeling that way, that you force outcomes, which repels others.

Were you the guy talking about not getting hugs? You’re not a good authority on this. Your posts are neon flashing signs of scarcity.

You would do well to humble yourself, try to do things differently and stop striking out so much. Go work out. Go take a walk or call a friend. Do something that brings good vibes into your life. Improve your mood, to improve your appetite to try new things and take risk, to improve your results. Fake it til you make it was not invented today on SoSuave.
You're damn right that it's not productive to force outcomes.

One time, a woman of all people (when I was complaining about the fact the woman I was into/liked to flirt with would give wishy-washy responses when I tried to set up dates) told me "So pester her until she caves"

Even I knew that sounded like the worst idea ever.
 

Ricky

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You're damn right that it's not productive to force outcomes.

One time, a woman of all people (when I was complaining about the fact the woman I was into/liked to flirt with would give wishy-washy responses when I tried to set up dates) told me "So pester her until she caves"

Even I knew that sounded like the worst idea ever.
Women give bad advice at times. In part because they dont have to develop game and also because they don’t self reflect enough to realize that the advice they give probably wouldn’t work on them
 

Divorced w 3

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You're damn right that it's not productive to force outcomes.

One time, a woman of all people (when I was complaining about the fact the woman I was into/liked to flirt with would give wishy-washy responses when I tried to set up dates) told me "So pester her until she caves"

Even I knew that sounded like the worst idea ever.
Just be careful on one thing: you must pursue. But effective pursuit captures the attention of your audience in an effort to persuade, and persuasiveness is most effective with push-pull dynamics. Those dynamics are a combination of expressing interest while being visibly, convincingly dissociated from the final outcome. That’s how unspoken confidence is conveyed effectively.
 

Solomon

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Once you deal with a woman whom you like you realize how easy the game is
A woman who truly likes you will make it easy for you, from texting to hanging out etc
There is no confusion or "Game Playing" etc
Women who like you, will make effort

The problem is most men (especially on here) meet women who have low IL or Medium IL, once you deal with a woman who has real HIGH IL you will never go back to dealing with low IL women again
 

The Duke

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Once you deal with a woman whom you like you realize how easy the game is
A woman who truly likes you will make it easy for you, from texting to hanging out etc
There is no confusion or "Game Playing" etc
Women who like you, will make effort

The problem is most men (especially on here) meet women who have low IL or Medium IL, once you deal with a woman who has real HIGH IL you will never go back to dealing with low IL women again
This is so damn true. Put that in the SoSuave Book of Gold. Thats really the only kind of woman worth having. The rest are too much work for minimal return.
 

GoodMan32

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Women give bad advice at times. In part because they dont have to develop game and also because they don’t self reflect enough to realize that the advice they give probably wouldn’t work on them
Yeah.

Or a 3rd possibility: They think every woman is exactly like they are.

Perhaps the woman who gave me the advice (to pester a woman) likes it when a man pesters her into committing to a date.

Most of the female population, however, would get driven away by pestering (and might even press charges). I'm an autist, yet even I know that.
 

GoodMan32

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Just be careful on one thing: you must pursue. But effective pursuit captures the attention of your audience in an effort to persuade, and persuasiveness is most effective with push-pull dynamics. Those dynamics are a combination of expressing interest while being visibly, convincingly dissociated from the final outcome. That’s how unspoken confidence is conveyed effectively.
Hmm, your strategy (express interest while being dissociated from the final outcome) is largely what I do. I'm known to drop hints to a woman without coming out and making a move.

Unfortunately, that hasn't gotten me very far.
 
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