A girl's perspective on boundaries

[Atom Smasher]

No they don't. That's not what's being said at all. Do you actually read their posts? They don't set boundaries so a woman 'will comply'. They set boundaries so that the man and woman are both sure about what is and what isn't acceptable in a relationship so that should either of them overstep the mark no-one can claim ignorance or that they didn't know what the terms and conditions were. No wonder this thread is 13 pages long.

^^ This statement by far is the best nutshell of the need for and purpose of boundaries.

 

[jurry]

Guru every couple has minor disagreements, i realize your argument is paper thin and this is all you have to fall back on, but you're smarter than this.

We are disagreeing about a boundary/exclusivity agreement that should be brought up because "women dont know any better" and need to understand how to act in regards to other men. Please dont try and move away the discussion.

 

[zekko]

You anti-boundary folk say we need to TRUST the girl to behave appropriately. But at the same time you say that boundaries are useless, because she will just BREAK them. Well, if a girl is trustworthy, why would she break a boundary? Can she be trusted or not? When I screen a girl, I am screening her for her level of trustworthiness. I am screening her to see if she can be trusted to keep the boundary when she says she will.

Now it is true that when a woman loses her interest, then you can't trust her any more, but that is a separate issue. It just means the relationship has run its course. If she loses her interest, you're not going to be able to TRUST her to not go fvck some guy either. At that point, it's over, boundary or no boundary.

You don't do this, you mean. The boundary guys evidently do. Do what you like I say. We're all men here. Don't let someone else dictate what you should or shouldn't do.

Another perfectly reasonable, sensible response. Amazing!

 

[guru1000]

Jurry, gotcha. Just so I understand your argument better.

(1) So you acknowledge that boundaries not concerning male orbiters are fine at, pre-, or post-exclusivity?

(2) But boundaries concerning male orbiters are never fine irrespective of when?

 

[jurry]

I dont see that it matters what men can or cannot agree on. If a woman has high interest in you, she will not pursue other men. That is her biology. If some guy friend at work ("orbiter") for example continues to be flirty and asking her out she will decline. This is normal female behavior, SHE is making the judgment call based off of her feelings for you, not because of what you had to tell her. If women you date are not doing this, either you are low interest for her or you live in some kind of bizarro world where feminine behavior has been reversed.

 

[jurry]

You're asking the same question worded slightly differently.

A woman knows a mans intentions, if she feels that it is a romantic setting/the guy is trying to fvck her, she wont go. If it is purely platonic (old family friend in town for instance), she will be ok with it and maybe still not even then. SHE is making the call, based off of her interest in you (or lack of it), in every instance. If you dont trust her and feel that you need to explain to her what is ok and what isnt, then you should not be with her. How many times do I have to repeat this?

 

[jurry]

You've already admitted that the purpose of your boundary discussion is not to prevent her from seeing other men, so why are you now acting as if it would?

To what lengths will you go to danger to defend this tragically flawed position? I suspect you see the weakness in it but are too proud to admit it, whereas the others sadly dont see it at all.

 

[Soolaimon]

No they don't. That's not what's being said at all. Do you actually read their posts? They don't set boundaries so a woman 'will comply'. They set boundaries so that the man and woman are both sure about what is and what isn't acceptable in a relationship so that should either of them overstep the mark no-one can claim ignorance or that they didn't know what the terms and conditions were. No wonder this thread is 13 pages long.

Hilarious!

You don't even know what the hell you're reading in these threads.

You and the crew don't even understand what points you're making.

You avoid common sense and argue nonsense making these threads double digit pages.


What the do you think "complying" is?

They set the boundary informing her they don't accept her hanging out with other men.

They claim they will dump her if she doesn't "comply" to all their rules.

They all believe that no woman understands what an exclusive relationship is.

Therefore they need to inform her what it means.

They also believe in "teaching" and "training" women to behave how they see fit.

That is "complying to their will"

You are an idiot.


And the point I've been making for over 12 threads that these boundary guys don't understand or don't want to admit is it doesn't matter what she can claim or if you're on the same page cause she won't care when she breaks your boundary.

When she hangs out with another guy she will find any excuse as the reason why she did it. Informing her beforehand makes no difference to her actions of what she really wants to do later on.

Of course you're going to be on the same page when the relationship starts. Months later you might not be. She isn't going to inform you she is banging another guy before she does. LOL

Women can easily lie to you to make it seem you are on "the same page". She can "agree" to anything you want and still keep guys hidden if they really want to.

That's why boundaries are useless cause they can easily be broken or not taken seriously with just "verbal words".

But these boundary guys keep making crap excuses or reposting their same old fallacies that have been proven to be false many times.

You're asking the same question worded slightly differently.

A woman knows a mans intentions, if she feels that it is a romantic setting/the guy is trying to fvck her, she wont go. If it is purely platonic (old family friend in town for instance), she will be ok with it and maybe still not even then. SHE is making the call, based off of her interest in you (or lack of it), in every instance. If you dont trust her and feel that you need to explain to her what is ok and what isnt, then you should not be with her. How many times do I have to repeat this?

She shouldn't be involved with those types of men.

If she is losing interest in the guy she will hang out with those guys on a romantic setting boundary or not.

That's why boundaries are useless cause she will not follow it when she doesn't want to.

So then I am correct in saying you think it is ok for her to go for drinks with a male friend.

Many of us here do not believe that is ok, regardless of what she believes his intentions are. Therefore how is she to know what is and is not ok?

Here's what the boundary crew does not understand with their delusion. They repeat this same $hit over and over.

We know you guys are not ok with her going out for drinks with another guy.

Smart respectful intelligent women will know that it's not ok to do that.

You guys try to date idiots who don't understand that concept.

You guys have to define terms for her to "get it".

It doesn't matter if she knows it is ok or not.

When she really wants to go out for drinks with another guy she is going to go whether she knows if it is ok or not.

She isn't going to care if you don't feel it's ok for her to do that.

She is going to act on her emotions and do what she wants enjoying drinks with another man.

She can easily hide her drinks with the guy from you very easily and you won't be the wiser.

So you inform her it's not ok for her to do that. She won't care what you think or said to her when she wants to have drinks with another guy. She will do it anyway no matter how you feel about it. She will hide it from you if she wants to and you won't be the wiser. Your boundaries are useless when she does what she wants to do on her own.

All you boundary guys had women break your boundaries very easily without caring what you feel is ok or not and you act like this is all brand new stuff to you and can never happen with your boundaries.

Crazy!

You've already admitted that the purpose of your boundary discussion is not to prevent her from seeing other men, so why are you now acting as if it would?

To what lengths will you go to danger to defend this tragically flawed position? I suspect you see the weakness in it but are too proud to admit it, whereas the others sadly dont see it at all.

Cause their argument is crap and it changes by the day and the by post so they can "win their argument" on their proven failed concept of boundaries.

Danger always changes the reason for what boundaries are really for.

Everything they claim has been proven wrong but they still manage to argue for it cause they can't admit they are wrong and have no power over their woman.

When they all have been cheated on before with boundaries you would think they would realize their boundaries are crap and don't work.

You anti-boundary folk say we need to TRUST the girl to behave appropriately.

Nobody has ever said that. You argue points that nobody has ever said. That's why you guys are so dumb.

You screen the girl properly first to see if she is worthy to be exclusive with.

After you see her through her own actions showing you she is then you become exclusive with her.

Relationships are based on trust and she has shown you through her actions that she can be trusted.

You are trusting her to follow your boundaries after she only "verbally agreed"
to them. She wasn't showing you through her own actions that she is worthy of a relationship. It's all about "your terms" and you expect women to follow them even though she might not and be good LTR material. That's why you boundary guys have failed marriages and relationships.

But at the same time you say that boundaries are useless, because she will just BREAK them. Well, if a girl is trustworthy, why would she break a boundary?

Again you are making points that was never said.

You have just made my whole point on why boundaries are useless. Congratulations!

If she is trustworthy and she has shown you through her actions that she is then there is no reason to set a boundary.

There is no need to set one at all. That is why I never set one myself cause my woman has shown me through her actons that she is. Your women haven't.

I've said when a woman loses interest she will break the boundary. Just the same as having no boundary at all.

It's about interest and attraction. Not boundaries.

When she is into you she won't break it. When she isn't she will. The same thing will happen even if you didn't set a boundary. she will still cheat when the attraction and interest isn't there. Your boundary is an imaginary security blanket to give you phony assurance.

When she wants to break it she will with no problem. Your boundary is a security blanket to calm your fears of her cheating. It does nothing to prevent her from cheating or give you any higher value is a man. It is for your own benefit to give you a false sense of reality to feel secure about her and yourself.

Obviously you have a hard time reading and comprehending words cause I've said this from the get go.

Can she be trusted or not? When I screen a girl, I am screening her for her level of trustworthiness. I am screening her to see if she can be trusted to keep the boundary when she says she will.

That's why your boundary is useless and does more harm than good.

She isn't going to break your boundary right in front of you unless she is totally stupid.

She will break the boundary when you're not around and won't be the wiser.

And don't tell me that women have never ever done that before or will never do that cause I know women who did and you guys have failed marriages/relationships with women who did as well.

Now it is true that when a woman loses her interest, then you can't trust her any more, but that is a separate issue. It just means the relationship has run its course. If she loses her interest, you're not going to be able to TRUST her to not go fvck some guy either. At that point, it's over, boundary or no boundary.

She can easily have hung out with other men or fvcked them before you see any lost interest with you boundary.

Just as if you never set one at all.

Your boundary did nothing for you except give you a false sense of reallity the whole time cause she broke your boundary with ease when you least expected it and thought she couldn't.

Boundaries don't stop cheating or prevent women from hiding men from you.

Boundaries don't give you any power.

Women have free will to do what they want and they won't care about your boundary when they want to break it.

Your women in your current relationships probably all had drinks with other guys without you knowing (even though you don't approve) just like you've all been cheated on in the past with boundaries.

What did boundaries do for you guys that was any different without having one?

Nothing!

 

[Tictac]

Foolaimon,

You are a low-grade BPD, anger management head case.

Get some help man.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

Hilarious!

You don't even know what the hell you're reading in these threads.

You and the crew don't even understand what points you're making.

You avoid common sense and argue nonsense making these threads double digit pages.


What the do you think "complying" is?

They set the boundary informing her they don't accept her hanging out with other men.

They claim they will dump her if she doesn't "comply" to all their rules.

They all believe that no woman understands what an exclusive relationship is.

Therefore they need to inform her what it means.

They also believe in "teaching" and "training" women to behave how they see fit.

That is "complying to their will"

You are an idiot.


And the point I've been making for over 12 threads that these boundary guys don't understand or don't want to admit is it doesn't matter what she can claim or if you're on the same page cause she won't care when she breaks your boundary.

When she hangs out with another guy she will find any excuse as the reason why she did it. Informing her beforehand makes no difference to her actions of what she really wants to do later on.

Of course you're going to be on the same page when the relationship starts. Months later you might not be. She isn't going to inform you she is banging another guy before she does. LOL

Women can easily lie to you to make it seem you are on "the same page". She can "agree" to anything you want and still keep guys hidden if they really want to.

That's why boundaries are useless cause they can easily be broken or not taken seriously with just "verbal words".

But these boundary guys keep making crap excuses or reposting their same old fallacies that have been proven to be false many times.





She shouldn't be involved with those types of men.

If she is losing interest in the guy she will hang out with those guys on a romantic setting boundary or not.

That's why boundaries are useless cause she will not follow it when she doesn't want to.





Here's what the boundary crew does not understand with their delusion. They repeat this same $hit over and over.

We know you guys are not ok with her going out for drinks with another guy.

Smart respectful intelligent women will know that it's not ok to do that.

You guys try to date idiots who don't understand that concept.

You guys have to define terms for her to "get it".

It doesn't matter if she knows it is ok or not.

When she really wants to go out for drinks with another guy she is going to go whether she knows if it is ok or not.

She isn't going to care if you don't feel it's ok for her to do that.

She is going to act on her emotions and do what she wants enjoying drinks with another man.

She can easily hide her drinks with the guy from you very easily and you won't be the wiser.

So you inform her it's not ok for her to do that. She won't care what you think or said to her when she wants to have drinks with another guy. She will do it anyway no matter how you feel about it. She will hide it from you if she wants to and you won't be the wiser. Your boundaries are useless when she does what she wants to do on her own.

All you boundary guys had women break your boundaries very easily without caring what you feel is ok or not and you act like this is all brand new stuff to you and can never happen with your boundaries.

Crazy!




Cause their argument is crap and it changes by the day and the by post so they can "win their argument" on their proven failed concept of boundaries.

Danger always changes the reason for what boundaries are really for.

Everything they claim has been proven wrong but they still manage to argue for it cause they can't admit they are wrong and have no power over their woman.

When they all have been cheated on before with boundaries you would think they would realize their boundaries are crap and don't work.





Nobody has ever said that. You argue points that nobody has ever said. That's why you guys are so dumb.

You screen the girl properly first to see if she is worthy to be exclusive with.

After you see her through her own actions showing you she is then you become exclusive with her.

Relationships are based on trust and she has shown you through her actions that she can be trusted.

You are trusting her to follow your boundaries after she only "verbally agreed"
to them. She wasn't showing you through her own actions that she is worthy of a relationship. It's all about "your terms" and you expect women to follow them even though she might not and be good LTR material. That's why you boundary guys have failed marriages and relationships.




Again you are making points that was never said.

You have just made my whole point on why boundaries are useless. Congratulations!

If she is trustworthy and she has shown you through her actions that she is then there is no reason to set a boundary.

There is no need to set one at all. That is why I never set one myself cause my woman has shown me through her actons that she is. Your women haven't.

I've said when a woman loses interest she will break the boundary. Just the same as having no boundary at all.

It's about interest and attraction. Not boundaries.

When she is into you she won't break it. When she isn't she will. The same thing will happen even if you didn't set a boundary. she will still cheat when the attraction and interest isn't there. Your boundary is an imaginary security blanket to give you phony assurance.

When she wants to break it she will with no problem. Your boundary is a security blanket to calm your fears of her cheating. It does nothing to prevent her from cheating or give you any higher value is a man. It is for your own benefit to give you a false sense of reality to feel secure about her and yourself.

Obviously you have a hard time reading and comprehending words cause I've said this from the get go.




That's why your boundary is useless and does more harm than good.

She isn't going to break your boundary right in front of you unless she is totally stupid.

She will break the boundary when you're not around and won't be the wiser.

And don't tell me that women have never ever done that before or will never do that cause I know women who did and you guys have failed marriages/relationships with women who did as well.




She can easily have hung out with other men or fvcked them before you see any lost interest with you boundary.

Just as if you never set one at all.

Your boundary did nothing for you except give you a false sense of reallity the whole time cause she broke your boundary with ease when you least expected it and thought she couldn't.

Boundaries don't stop cheating or prevent women from hiding men from you.

Boundaries don't give you any power.

Women have free will to do what they want and they won't care about your boundary when they want to break it.

Your women in your current relationships probably all had drinks with other guys without you knowing (even though you don't approve) just like you've all been cheated on in the past with boundaries.

What did boundaries do for you guys that was any different without having one?

Nothing!

Let's talk about your useless boundaries sooli. We need to know why you've put a useless boundary on your own exclusive relationship by refusing to use useless boundaries. And the useless boundary of calling your relationship exclusive.

There also must be certain words such as "no" that you don't use in your useless boundary exclusive relationship. Or are you a yes man who refuses to say no? Which is a useless boundary as you'd refuse to say no in your exclusive relationship.

Focus sooli. We need to learn about your useless boundaries you use in your exclusive relationship.

Perhaps you can't verbalize useless boundaries as you and your exclusive high quality girlfriend are deaf, and mute? Do you use sign language instead to communicate your useless boundaries? Or are you both blind as well?

If your girlfriend refuses to accept any boundaries then she's placed a useless boundary by refusing to accept them. If your girlfriend refuse to say no and is only a yes woman to you then she's still used a useless boundary by refusing to say no to you.

Try to focus sooli. We need to hear about your exclusive useless boundary relationship.

No running away.

 

[:-)]

Hilarious!

You don't even know what the hell you're reading in these threads.

You and the crew don't even understand what points you're making.

You avoid common sense and argue nonsense making these threads double digit pages.


What the do you think "complying" is?

They set the boundary informing her they don't accept her hanging out with other men.

They claim they will dump her if she doesn't "comply" to all their rules.

They all believe that no woman understands what an exclusive relationship is.

Therefore they need to inform her what it means.

They also believe in "teaching" and "training" women to behave how they see fit.

That is "complying to their will"

You are an idiot.


And the point I've been making for over 12 threads that these boundary guys don't understand or don't want to admit is it doesn't matter what she can claim or if you're on the same page cause she won't care when she breaks your boundary.

When she hangs out with another guy she will find any excuse as the reason why she did it. Informing her beforehand makes no difference to her actions of what she really wants to do later on.

Of course you're going to be on the same page when the relationship starts. Months later you might not be. She isn't going to inform you she is banging another guy before she does. LOL

Women can easily lie to you to make it seem you are on "the same page". She can "agree" to anything you want and still keep guys hidden if they really want to.

That's why boundaries are useless cause they can easily be broken or not taken seriously with just "verbal words".

But these boundary guys keep making crap excuses or reposting their same old fallacies that have been proven to be false many times.





She shouldn't be involved with those types of men.

If she is losing interest in the guy she will hang out with those guys on a romantic setting boundary or not.

That's why boundaries are useless cause she will not follow it when she doesn't want to.





Here's what the boundary crew does not understand with their delusion. They repeat this same $hit over and over.

We know you guys are not ok with her going out for drinks with another guy.

Smart respectful intelligent women will know that it's not ok to do that.

You guys try to date idiots who don't understand that concept.

You guys have to define terms for her to "get it".

It doesn't matter if she knows it is ok or not.

When she really wants to go out for drinks with another guy she is going to go whether she knows if it is ok or not.

She isn't going to care if you don't feel it's ok for her to do that.

She is going to act on her emotions and do what she wants enjoying drinks with another man.

She can easily hide her drinks with the guy from you very easily and you won't be the wiser.

So you inform her it's not ok for her to do that. She won't care what you think or said to her when she wants to have drinks with another guy. She will do it anyway no matter how you feel about it. She will hide it from you if she wants to and you won't be the wiser. Your boundaries are useless when she does what she wants to do on her own.

All you boundary guys had women break your boundaries very easily without caring what you feel is ok or not and you act like this is all brand new stuff to you and can never happen with your boundaries.

Crazy!




Cause their argument is crap and it changes by the day and the by post so they can "win their argument" on their proven failed concept of boundaries.

Danger always changes the reason for what boundaries are really for.

Everything they claim has been proven wrong but they still manage to argue for it cause they can't admit they are wrong and have no power over their woman.

When they all have been cheated on before with boundaries you would think they would realize their boundaries are crap and don't work.





Nobody has ever said that. You argue points that nobody has ever said. That's why you guys are so dumb.

You screen the girl properly first to see if she is worthy to be exclusive with.

After you see her through her own actions showing you she is then you become exclusive with her.

Relationships are based on trust and she has shown you through her actions that she can be trusted.

You are trusting her to follow your boundaries after she only "verbally agreed"
to them. She wasn't showing you through her own actions that she is worthy of a relationship. It's all about "your terms" and you expect women to follow them even though she might not and be good LTR material. That's why you boundary guys have failed marriages and relationships.




Again you are making points that was never said.

You have just made my whole point on why boundaries are useless. Congratulations!

If she is trustworthy and she has shown you through her actions that she is then there is no reason to set a boundary.

There is no need to set one at all. That is why I never set one myself cause my woman has shown me through her actons that she is. Your women haven't.

I've said when a woman loses interest she will break the boundary. Just the same as having no boundary at all.

It's about interest and attraction. Not boundaries.

When she is into you she won't break it. When she isn't she will. The same thing will happen even if you didn't set a boundary. she will still cheat when the attraction and interest isn't there. Your boundary is an imaginary security blanket to give you phony assurance.

When she wants to break it she will with no problem. Your boundary is a security blanket to calm your fears of her cheating. It does nothing to prevent her from cheating or give you any higher value is a man. It is for your own benefit to give you a false sense of reality to feel secure about her and yourself.

Obviously you have a hard time reading and comprehending words cause I've said this from the get go.




That's why your boundary is useless and does more harm than good.

She isn't going to break your boundary right in front of you unless she is totally stupid.

She will break the boundary when you're not around and won't be the wiser.

And don't tell me that women have never ever done that before or will never do that cause I know women who did and you guys have failed marriages/relationships with women who did as well.




She can easily have hung out with other men or fvcked them before you see any lost interest with you boundary.

Just as if you never set one at all.

Your boundary did nothing for you except give you a false sense of reallity the whole time cause she broke your boundary with ease when you least expected it and thought she couldn't.

Boundaries don't stop cheating or prevent women from hiding men from you.

Boundaries don't give you any power.

Women have free will to do what they want and they won't care about your boundary when they want to break it.

Your women in your current relationships probably all had drinks with other guys without you knowing (even though you don't approve) just like you've all been cheated on in the past with boundaries.

What did boundaries do for you guys that was any different without having one?

Nothing!

Wow. Like Tictac said. Get help. You are beyond reason. Which is strange - this is a charge I usually lay upon women..............

 

[jurry]

Danger/guru if you seriously need me to explain to you the difference between telling a girl not to smoke in the car or not be late and telling her not to hang out with other men then I'm afraid you're truly a lost cause and may want to go re-read the DJ bible.

Middle schoolers could come up with better logic. I gave it another shot! Oh well, maybe next time.

 

[:-)]

Danger/guru if you seriously need me to explain to you the difference between telling a girl not to smoke in the car or not be late and telling her not to hang out with other men then I'm afraid you're truly a lost cause and may want to go re-read the DJ bible.

Middle schoolers could come up with better logic. I gave it another shot! Oh well, maybe next time.

I'm going to be honest here so I would like an honest answer. Are you a homosexual? No offence if you're not. I just need to be sure.

 

[guru1000]

I'm going to be honest here so I would like an honest answer. Are you a homosexual? No offence if you're not. I just need to be sure.

:crackup:

Jurry, answer Post 257, questions (1) and (2), and I'll continue. If not, that's fine as well.

 

[jurry]

Ive already answered all the points you just made about 10 times now, the fact that you are still regarding them as some fresh new objection makes me assume you're just trolling at this point.

Im sorry you have no argument or dont understand how women work and resort to calling me a woman or a homosexual (presumably thats supposed to be an insult because you guys hate women and gays?) or a feminist. Strangers on internet forums calling me names really hurts guys, so much it hurts. Please stop the pain.

Let me know when you can put together a grown up argument.

 

[jurry]

No ive actually answered every single question multiple times sadly and you're right this is exactly the same as the false rape discussion. After your entire argument is demolished and you have nowhere else to go you just drag the discussion around and around in circles asking the same thing in slightly modified ways and wait for me to lose interest, then declare "internet debate victory" because you're a grown man who actually cares about these things.

Sad but true.

Women will not date other men when they have high interest and pursue exclusivity with you. They will remove their other options because they have found what they want. There will be no ambiguity, there will be no questionable orbiters in the picture. Its unfortunate you've been giving advice on here for 8 years and apparently dont understand or havent experienced rudimentary female dating psychology.

Im not presenting this to you as a hypothetical or as an opinion, this is the way it works. Its not even debatable, its that simple and easy. If it aint working that way for you then you're not doing it right, just like leonard and the guy in the OP.

You think don draper or leo dicaprio are sittin around with their new bîtch going "now heres what exclusivity means, i dont want you seeing male friends anymore, etc.". Lmfao they are smashing girls left and right and the girl who they settle down with for a bit is hanging on for dear life. Priceless that you guys can even defend this horseshît.

Go read the DJ bible before you post anymore and fvck someone else up.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

No ive actually answered every single question multiple times sadly and you're right this is exactly the same as the false rape discussion. After your entire argument is demolished and you have nowhere else to go you just drag the discussion around and around in circles asking the same thing in slightly modified ways and wait for me to lose interest, then declare "internet debate victory" because you're a grown man who actually cares about these things.

Sad but true.

Women will not date other men when they have high interest and pursue exclusivity with you. They will remove their other options because they have found what they want. There will be no ambiguity, there will be no questionable orbiters in the picture. Its unfortunate you've been giving advice on here for 8 years and apparently dont understand or havent experienced rudimentary female dating psychology.

Im not presenting this to you as a hypothetical or as an opinion, this is the way it works. Its not even debatable, its that simple and easy. If it aint working that way for you then you're not doing it right, just like leonard and the guy in the OP.

You think don draper or leo dicaprio are sittin around with their new bîtch going "now heres what exclusivity means, i dont want you seeing male friends anymore, etc.". Lmfao they are smashing girls left and right and the girl who they settle down with for a bit is hanging on for dear life. Priceless that you guys can even defend this horseshît.

Go read the DJ bible before you post anymore and fvck someone else up.

Nonsense. If a chick has the highest interest in a dude and is looking to be exclusive she gets even more insecure than chicks already are and needs orbiters and backup dudes in case the high value man isn't interested and or she suspects he has many suitors of his own.

She doesn't just drop everyone from her phone and social media and put all her eggs in one basket unless she possibly determines the dude is serious and goes exclusive with her which is a boundary that both will discuss.

Anything else is pure kj self serving fantasy.

we all know how "confident" chicks are especially with their choice of a high value man and they won't just drop everyone unless that dude specifies like a man the terms for exclusivity otherwise they think he'll most likely cheat and they'll keep their backups just in case.

 

[zekko]

Danger/guru if you seriously need me to explain to you the difference between telling a girl not to smoke in the car or not be late and telling her not to hang out with other men then I'm afraid you're truly a lost cause and may want to go re-read the DJ bible.

What's funny is that there are a lot of guys who will consider smoking in the car a serious offense, but will regard her hanging out with men as her divine right and perfectly normal.

Women will not date other men when they have high interest and pursue exclusivity with you. They will remove their other options because they have found what they want. There will be no ambiguity, there will be no questionable orbiters in the picture

Lol, that is simply not true. It depends on the person. That argument is completely pointless because it is completely false, and has been thoroughly debunked. That was the whole point of the Big Bang Theory message board link. It shows (just as this thread does) that PEOPLE CAN'T AGREE on whether or not it is appropriate for women to retain male friends and orbiters while in an exclusive relationship.

This idea that you have to expect all women to do what is proper when no one can agree on what is proper is nonsense.

I'm not presenting this to you as a hypothetical or as an opinion, this is the way it works. Its not even debatable, its that simple and easy

If it's not debateable it's because your theory is completely false.

You think don draper or leo dicaprio are sittin around with their new bîtch going "now heres what exclusivity means, i dont want you seeing male friends anymore, etc.". Lmfao they are smashing girls left and right and the girl who they settle down with for a bit is hanging on for dear life.

If they're "smashing girls left and right" they're not in exclusive relationships, are they? I think some people have said you were really Zarky, I'm beginning to have my suspicions.

In any case, Hollywood relationships especially I would consider to be among those most likely to retain opposite sex friends.

Besides which, you have the conversation wrong. It's not "Here's what exclusivity means, I don't want you seeing male friends anymore".
It's more like she will say "Let's be exclusive" and I say "I won't date any girl seriously who keeps male friends". Until she gets rid of them, she can't qualify.

Wow. Like Tictac said. Get help. You are beyond reason. Which is strange - this is a charge I usually lay upon women..............

And that's why I gave up reading Sooli's posts ages ago. There is no reason involved, and it's like talking to a wall. Life's too short.

 

[jurry]

Ok lets summarize what we have here:

Me: women know what exclusivity is, when they are attracted to you and want you to be their BF there will be no ambiguity about their intentions, there wont be other guys in the picture. The exception I can think of I think tarantula alluded to above is that you really arent too interested in her - or are overplaying àsshole game - and so she thinks she has no chance and tries to make you jealous by pursuing other guys. Not really relevant here.

Boundary brigade: no, women have no idea what it means or how to act.. They need your expectations explained to them.

Me: ok this goes against everything we know about female dating psychology, but lets consider this. Do you really think a girl is going to tell you if she goes to hang out with a male friend when she knows you dont want her to? If she wants to break your boundaries she will do so.

BB: whoa whoa who said anything about controlling her?! The argument now changes as you guys appear to grudgingly accept the reality of my last statement, which is verified through both examples in the thread and apparently zekko and gurus own past marriages (correct me if im wrong on that part). NOW what the boundaries are for is so that she will know that if she breaks them you will dump her, and she knows where you stand.

Me: you would dump her either way, why do you need to establish precedent like a legal trial? The only difference is that with the boundaries she would be more likely to hide it from you. The fact remains, if you are a man of value - a big if with some of the responses im seeing from you guys - she should be a whole lot more worried about who YOU are hanging out with than the other way around. If this is not the case, then you need to reevaluate the way you are dealing with women.

BB: no no its on her to accept the terms of your expectations. You are just telling her what you want, and she is choosing to accept it or not. She can walk away if she wants I dont care.

Me: So now you think that by her agreeing to the terms, that means she wont see other guys.. Which you already admitted wont work? Be consistent.

BB: ??

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Every assertion you made is false and distorted...it doesn't even progress logically lol.

Can you explain how it is 'false and distorted'?