A cool dudes journey through life.This is my field report.....

[cool dude]

Went to the bar last night excited about meeting some girls and socializing. I read some funny posts before that got me in a good frame of mind. The post was people texting some girls and saying when you gonna let me tap that.It was hilarious!

I go out to the bar and it is crazy! They have a pool there and mad lights goin around.They had a contest for people to do belly flops,and the winner gets 500$. For some reason as soon as I entered my frame of mind went bad. I wasn't confident at all,and I was a little nervous. I walk around looking for cute girls. I kept procrastinating when I wanted to approach.

I then forced myself to talk to some girls,and they were all completely uninterested. I went up to one girl and said hey your hot.Just to force myself to talk. I would say to other girls,what is the price for a pitcher,or I would just make a comment on how crazy this bar is. They all led to nowhere,and I could tell the girls had a shield up.I even got **** blocked by some chicks freind!It sucked.

I would go up to girls and try to dance and they all rejected me. One girl was like,let me see you dance I think your a bad dancer.I told her I wanna see her dance first.
I ended up dancing and she was like you are bad,I neged her and walked away.I heard her say something to me,I didn't hear it.

I went dancing with another girl, and she seemed pretty responsive at first.Then I made some comment,I forgot what, and she backed away and said your bad, your bad.I told her I am the bad one and my freind is the good guy.She then danced with her freind and ended up walking away.

A few girls told me they have boyfriends so they can't dance.I don't know what to say to that.I just say,girl I just want to dance that's it not a relationship,or I don't know you like that.

I watched a few guys trying to pick up girls,and I was noticing their ways of doing it. They got in close,used touch,their body language was good. I think what was the main thing that helped the guys I watching pick up girls was their attitude.Their frame of mind.

I was trying to force myself into being a crazy energetic guy,but that night I just wasn't.
One girl came up to a freind I was talking to,and I acted excited and said where have you been,Im glad to see you again.I never met this girl before. She went with it,and hugged me and smiled. We talked for like 10 seconds,and then I just did not know what to say.I noticed her body language was saying,this is awkward.I stared at her with a smile,her arms were crossed and,her body was facing to the side of me a lil bit.I stared at her with a smile on my face,and then a guy came up to her,I guess a freind,and they just started talking.She got all excited they hugged each other,and I was left alone to walk.

One girl was dancing by herself,so I went up to her,and talked.I forgot what I said,but she was cool.We danced for a while then her friends pulled her away.She smiled and said bye to me.She was really hot, and a good dancer.

I am glad I went out though and got rejected so many times.It hurts,but I know it is good for me. I did get one dudes facebook who goes to uf,so hopefully I will go to some crazy parties there.I also got this other dudes #,he is a dj,and seems pretty cool.

I am not going to drink whenever I am at a large gathering for now on.Parties,bars,clubs,anything with a bunch of people. I am going to transform my personality to be energetic,and outgoing without the need for drinks. I came away from last night,with a lot of knowledge,but I seemed to have forgotten a lot of it.

What I learned:

Go with the flow,if your not in the frame of mind you think you should be in just go with the one you are in. It will probably make you worse if you try to fight it instead of just going with it.

Girls are fukin dumb *****es,and they are nothing compared to us men.

Don't put other people on a pedestal. No one is more important than you. You might make friends with a person one night,but your the one putting in the effort to chill then drop that fool, and meet new people.

 

[cool dude]

Damn,it's been a ****ty few weeks here in daytona.I have not really gone out and tried to meet any women.I feel like transportation is the main reason. I did walk like 2 miles though at one point just to go to this hotel where a lot of women hang at.I did aight,but I didn't get a # or any sex,which sucked because it's an hour walk,maybe a lil more.

Ive been feeling like I am gettin nervous around people again.Like my mind is racing just to make sure the convo goes well.I realized today when I met this dude on the beach that I do not listen to well.My mind is racing to much to even listen.Now that I realized the problem I can now fix it.
Calm my mind and just let things flow.

Listen.....listen.....listen.

I keep wanting to practice the nlp techniques from fastseduction,but I always forget,most likely from my mind going so fast. Now I am starting to remember but I still don't fully understand it. I was going to this coffee shop to get work and I ended up talking to this cute girl there for like 30 minutes.I tried to get her,trance words.She kept saying so alot so I figured that was it.I then used so sometimes in my sentences.I don't think I did it right though.

I made an goal to meet someone new everyday.I am going to change that to improve everyday by socializing everyday.
I am thinking that maybe I am putting to much thought into this whole seduction thing.Maybe I am getting ahead of myself.I am reading all this stuff to help me with this,but I realize in te back of my head, maybe it is all just for confidence. What are all these tips going to do for me if I can not even control my mind to think straight in an interaction.So that is my first step.To be so comfortable with talking/socializing that my mind is calm and I don't think about what can go wrong...I just listen.
That is key isn't?The main thing,the first thing one must know how to do is listen.It is like one must know how to ollie before he can kickflip,or do any other trick.Also to be comfortable with your board.So that you are calm and everything just flows,like your mind.

I might lose this inspiration,tomorrow so I am going to read this,and hopefully get it back...oh yea I might join the coast guard.

 

[cool dude]

GOt really drunk lastnight at this hotel party,well not really party but a get together.It was a bunch of black kids,and few white people. I felt like som of the white people were acting more assertive because of the whole vibe going on with the black people.I had a great time none the less,I was so blitzed.At one point in the night a freind of mine went to get pizza so I came with him because I was starvin. We come back,and one of the dudes from the party was downstairs.He says,hey bro come here their are some women here come go over their and talk to them.
I tell him he should go over their,and not to be scared. He says,I'm not scared I just think you should go over their.I say ok ,and I take the lead.I walk over their ,and open up with hey what's up.Right off the bat I see this girl looking at me with the look in her eyes like she wants to fuk. The other woman was older and ugly,but so was so was the other girl,well ugly that is.

I ask her where she is from and she says from here.I tell her I am from ct,and she says oh I use to live in new york,then we get into a convo about that. I tell them I am going to go back to the party,and they give me their #.I wanted to get out of their because they were ugly,and I think crack heads. Get back the the room and I erase the # right away.Get drunk,and have a good time.We all ended up freestyling,and I did some beatboxing,they all loved it. Later on some dudes from atl came in,and smoke,and just chilled. Some of the girls got pissed and kicked everyone out,I guess they had a gun,so yea.Then another dude outside pulled out an Ak47,and started acting like he was goin to shoot.I was inside the hotel so I didn't see any of this.

After that I just drank drank and drank.Went home and,passed out.
I left with their bottle of bacardi!!

I remember when I did go outside one of the girls grabbed my arm and said go inside or leave.I was thinking in my head how should I handle this,I did not know so I played it off,I laughed and said whatever.Then when she came in I called her out,hugged her and said thank you for caring about my safety.I was being sarcastic but I think she felt good when I did that.

I noticed that I am noticing more things about people and how they interact with each other.I see myself always in that..I guess mentality of noticing those subtle things about people.The way they talk act,and boddy language.I think to myself now,I know why their doing this,or acting this way,and I think,I will do this since this person is doing that.Always experimenting.I see myself growing,and gaining that advantage of knowing people,when they don't know themselves.

 

[cool dude]

First day of school today,and wow!A lot of girls,a lot of girls. I went to school this morning excited because of all the experience I am going to get. Today I did not make any new approaches I just kinda of took it all in. In my english class though I did something that I am very proud of.The teacher had everyone talk about themselves in my class. Well everyone seemed kinda of nervous. I thought to myself,when it is my turn I am going to stand up and face the class. That got me nervous.One by one it was getting closer to being my turn,and my brain started doing the thing that it does,but this time I controlled my thoughts,and I kept telling myself this is stupid why am I getting nervous.That helped me a lil, but my nervousness never fully went away.Then it was the person right behind me turn to speak,I knew that I had to do this.There was doubt in me that I would not go through with this. I didn't here what he was saying.I was sort of in a meditative state preparing myself for this. I then heard the teacher say,YO COOL ASS DUDE SPEAK BEEATCH!! I did not even hesitate I got up,and walk to the front of the room,well I was sitting in the front,I took a few steps,and I just spoke what I was about,where I was from,and what I want to do with my life.All with a smile and a good attitude.When I got up I saw people smile,and people laughed,even though nothing I said was funny.Just no one had the balls to do what I did,and that was different.
The teacher made a joke about me having to break out of my shell more. It was great!

I am really progressing if I cAn control my mind ,and not let fear ruin me.
I am staying positive for this semester. I know I won't be a 100%,but I know I will try 100%.

Oh yea I am taking an acting class

 

[cool dude]

Ok guys,it's been a while but don't think it's because nothing has happened.How more wrong you can be.I know, I know.I said I was going to write asap whenever something happend,and well I haven't.I don't know why, no I do know why and it is beacuase I am not putting enough effort into this. That's maybe why I am not out right now.hey, I think this might be a lil more important though.

Well Let's see now. I was thinking to myself a few days ago,how can I improve my social skills quicker and brand them into my skull. I thought about that and well,now I break down conversations I feel are worthy enough to be broken down,and by that I mean I become a therapist to my last convo.I ask numerous questions to myself and write down what I think went wrong or what I noticed went write.I only done this once,but I think it might help.

It will be the 4 week this monday at my school.I most definitely feel I have not done so well. I have said hi to a lot of people and I have made conversations with not as many people I said hi too.I also have not gotten any numbers yet.It sucks. I think to myself sometimes it kinda sucks not knowing more people that I could hang out with on the weekends.Maybe have friends that could give me a ride to the club or even just call me to hang out. I been thinking I am not going to call anyone on my phone anymore,well maybe what I will do is call them twice a week for a few weeks and if I don't ever hang with them then they get the boot or if I always have to call them.

I have not gotten laid for quite some time now. Kinda sucks,but I feel I have a lot to work with the problems inside of me,before I can even get to that step...naw never mind **** that.

I am taking acting class in school and there is this girl that is pretty damn hot. One day she was up speaking in front of the class and she kept looking at me with a smile.now I thought it was just me,but I of course kept smiling with a flirty look.She kept looking a me and even a dude sitting next too me noticed.I have no reason why she would be digging me.I have not done anything I feel to lead her there.

I was going to say something after class,but I was not feeling 100% so I did not.That whole day I was really relaxed,and did not participate in any conversation.I had the energy of a person that did not care like I was a big stoner.It turned into insecurity later on,and I figured out why.I fore some reason was copying the style my freind has.She is a big pot head and is very relaxed. I think when I was talking to her one day,I subconsciously liked her demeanor so I copied it. Well any ways back to after class.
Another girl that looked alright was in front of me going out the door,she opened it but did not keep it open for me. So I said to her,thanks for holding the door for me!

She looked back with a smile and said oh im sorry I didn't know. I said it's ok don't wory about it.How long have you been in our class.
Her:Since the beginning,remember I am the one that dances also.
Me:Oh that's you ok ,Im sorry but I forgot your name
Her:vanessa,and yours is Cj right
ME:Oh great now I really feel bad.you know mine
Herlaughs)no it's ok blablabla
I remember telling her that I am taking the class because I get anxiety sometimes. I wanted to be open with her and let her know I am not perfect.
She did not seem to mind at all.She talked most of the conversation,I thought to myself maybe she is doing that because she is nervous and does'nt want a break in the convo.Well there were breaks and I got the sense she felt awkward.

We had a lot to connect on but I could not use that to connect with her well enough.
I did not feel confident so that was my main problem,I really do know the importance of my frame of mind.I do not yet know fully on how to change my frame.

Later on I met with my stoner freind that was the cause.I told her what was up,and after that I felt better.I felt ****y,funny,confident,great.I wanted to be an ******* for some reason,just like become a smart ass,I tried to hold it back but I couldn't.like one example,was me and her were talking,and I interrupted her and said,dude wait I got work to do,stop talking to me,and I went back to my work,then a few seconds later I started a conversation with her.I did that about 5 times.

I was being loud and myself,and people noticed,but I did not pay them no mind. I became so hyper.

What could be the problem.IS it me that people don't find cool enough to hang or is it that I am just to paranoid?Or am I psyching myself out?
Whatever it is,something is going wrong.I do know that! I was going to go out tonight by myself,but I felt nervous,so I just stayed here.I am glad though because I am finally writing this!

I gave them all I have,and they showed me the door.
perpetual groove

 

[cool dude]

For all the people reading this flied report.I am going to put up a post I did a while back.I want to show everyone how bad my frame of mind was.I also feel like I have not improved that much.I have not improved as much as I wanted at least.I am bum myself out sometimes because I have high expectations of myself.So here is the post.I will put them all up.

Ive been reading some forums about stuff I have problems with.like I read a few forums about a kid who had social anxiety and he had alot of the same problems I have and I didn't know it was called that.I also read a forum about a person who cant explain himself and pot makes it worse.That is the same with me.So I am quitting.Hopefully I will get better. I really wish I could explain things more, maybe its my lack of knowledge but that doesn't explain why I cant explain what is going on in my head. I also have a problem listening to someone and making sense of what they say and remembering it.I feel like I get so confused so easy and I am tired of being so confused, always disagreeing with what I say. How do I found out what is going to be the best choice when making life decisions?

I also hate when I talk to someone and they give their point about something and it makes perfect sense and I totally agree cause it sounds reasonable then I hear another side of the story and that makes sense and then I think differently and agree with them instead. Then I will tell the other person what I think is right and whats good for me and they will talk and make perfect sense and I would feel stupid cause what they say is right again,that happens numerous times. I feel like I could be so easily brainwashed into thinking something. I really feel like I have bad luck and my life will always be hard and get even worse. I don't know what to do.What can I say?Where can I start?What do I think?How do I live?

I have had a pretty bad life for the past few years but my mom would always take care of things for me so I guess in a way I never learned how to do things on my own.I guess I was spoiled.But the things were so bad that how could I do anything about something that I know nothing about.

I am 20 years old and I don't know how to live on my own I don't know what to say when getting a job.I don't know about taxes or bills or owning a car or anything about being independent. My communicating skills are **** and alot of the times I am confused because I feel it could be me just over reacting.My sis is selling the house and I am choosing to live on my own.I am still worried about my social skills and my mental strength to live on my own.I have been thinking I am a hopeless cause and in the future I might have to resort to just kill myself.I hope things don't go so bad for me that it ends that way.

I don't know if I am painting the picture well enough but I am trying to explain my problems the best I can.I have formed a way of protecting myself when things go bad and that is by expecting things not to go right.If they don't then I am not hurt as bad cause I expected it,If they do go well than I am even more happy.Maybe I should just expect nothing and do the best I can to make it go well.That seems like a good theory. Their are so many variables in life how can I conquer living it?My biggest problem is my social skills and my listening skills.I really cant come away with the meaning of what a person is trying to tell me. I am worried also about what kind of people I meet.Their are so many shady people that act normal than stab you in the back. That has happened to me a number of times. Who do I know to trust and hang out with? What if I keep meeting shady people I just become even worse and just become a recluse. I have started a journal to express my thoughts in.I want to take a psychology class and a class about talking to people.I think that will help me alot.I also am giving meditation a shot.


When I smoke weed I end up being stuck inside my head feeling awkward and not knowing what to say or stare at.I have had really bad highs when smoking,like anxiety attacks.I don't know why I kept smoking but I did.I have made other forums about my problems but I feel a little better when I express something that people are gonna read.Before I read that other people had these problems I thought I was the only one.At least I am not alone.I am going to end this now.Sorry for making it so long.

 

[cool dude]

I was at school today and I wanted to talk people but I didn't have anything to say.It's like I am pressuring my self to meet people and force a conversation with them when I really have nothing to say.I am thinking if I don't talk to people then how will I meet anyone.when people talk to me I get a little nervous and react when saying something back just to say something instead of actually thinking before I speak.Alot of the times I just say yea or something short like that.I feel like they can pick up on my nervousness.I know I have no reason to be nervous but I can't get it out of me.I figure if I just do my thing and when I feel the need to talk to someone bad enough then I will do it, but for some reason I feel like that is a wrong way to handle my situation.I really don't know what to do.I guess I don't know how to live in the moment.When I was little I was very outgoing and easy to get along with.I just don't want to be this way forever you know.I want to enjoy people but I feel like people suck because of the way they treat each other.I got to get over this somehow but what can I do?

I meditate every morning and I read alot about talking to people,I am trying to force a different way of thinking.Maybe if I can learn to just go with the flow of how I am feeling and thinking then I will be good, but I don't know how to do that either.****.I know I will figure something out cause I damn sure I am not going to stay this way.I got to except me for being me regardless of what other people think,I just got to get back to that way of thinking and feeling.I feel like I am trapt.Somehow I need to stop taking life and people so damn serious.Somehow. Reading this back I say this is the best explanation of what I am going through.

 

[cool dude]

So yea,these posts were from shroomery.org.Its a great site. I hop this can bring inspiration to poeple who feel hopeless,and don't know what to do.

 

[cool dude]

A crazy night Friday! My boos told me at the beginning of the week he would fire me.So Friday night I though this was the last time workin and I would be back to the job searching again. The night before me and him made plans to go to the bar. So I drove him home so he could get ready. I found out that there was this big party goin on so I didn't want to go.but **** happend so I could'nt go.

He told me he doesn't know what he is goin to do and I wanted to go to this party so I was like damn my night again is beat. He invites me and our coworker up to his place.We get there and his room is like the size of my bedroom its really small but he lives right on the ocean.

We pop open some beers and head to his balcony. He is waiting for this chick he met to come over and he said she as mad cute friends,so I am thinking nice I am going to most def get laid tonight. An hour goes by and she comes over but just by herself. Me and my coworker are chillin outside letting him work his game. We are all having a good time just makin small talk and ****.This girl I guess has dudes in her phone that she will call when she needs to get laid.I thought to myself damn I cant wait till I get that good and I can get girls in my phone that I can call to ****.

We play a game of johnny cash,and she keeps sayin im gay. I'm like what the ****, your not that hot so shutup.

A few hours later it seems like, her ex shows up.This guy is mad short and built. I didn't trust him at first he seemed really shady. Were chillin and shortly after I go outside to help my coworker make a deal.We go back up and this ex is trying to get with my bosses chick.I don't care but I am just like dude your goin to talk like your goin to mak her but you let this dude get her?! Alpha man that bich!!!

MY boss mentions the idea for us all to go swimmin.Everyone says yea and we head to the pull. I climb this roof and jump off it mad drunk just to start things off. I look at the girl and I can tell that she is diggin the way I look.Whenever I take my shirt off I become so much hotter to women.
She tells me I have a sexy body and I tell her I know.I work on it.She laughs and repeats what I said(I'm sure she wasn't expecting that).

The swimming gets boring after a while so we head back to his place.The ex then breaks out some coke and me and my boss start doin some lines.This was after everyone left. I freestyle and was killin it.Then I beat box so they could have a beat to spit too. We stayed up all night freestylin.The sun came up over the ocean and it.....was......beutiful!

Few hours later it gets boring and we are all coming down from all the coke we did. I take the bus home and pass the **** out.
IT sucked because I actually had friends that call me and wanted to chill! It was like fuk right when I decided to make myself useful.I took a shower and tried to go out.one of my friends wanted to go sargin then party but I was a sleep when he called.Then another wanted me to go to the club.I fell asleep again so I didn't text her back.IT sucked what a waist of a Saturday night.

Well what a life I live man.Circumstances are what make my life so exciting and new. Never thought I would be getting drunk,doing lines,and free styling with my boss.

I am bothered though. My girl situation isn't what I want it to be. I am in school with women but they are all in a hurry.Actually,one time I was walking with a freind and this really hot chick walked behind us,not so close to where I could just say something.I raised my voice and said hey whats up. I thought how lame was that! She said its really hot out hear.I said yea it is.I'm burnin up. then I turned back around to my freind.We were talking about getting food in the lab,so we start walking and the girl says good luck with that.I turn around and say what?she says good luck with getting your food.I turned back around with a smile and said thanks,and walked on.

My freind said did you know her?No I didn't.He was like damn dude good **** man.She was diggin you! I thought to myself really you think that was a big deal?I didn't even carry the covo,I didn't get her number.There were so many things I didn't do.That's makin me think right now how all of us in this seduction game are on a whole nother level compared to these normal guys.We think that if we didn't do something right like touch her or get her number or didn't do this at that time we fuked up.But if you talk to a normal guy they couldn't even imagine doin the **** we try to do everyday!They couldn't fathom the things we know.The tricks we could pull!

I felt like man I am really gettin good.I just need to get better.....

 

[cool dude]

Ive decided I will talk to 3 woman a day. Then when I get more comfortable I will go for #s

Yesterday I was walkin becuae I could not control my mind.I hve been going through some **** and I am worrie a lil that I will be anxiety again. Anyways this girl was talking to a squrill biut she wa really haot.This kd walked passed her and just smiled.I saw that he wanted to go talk to her but he did not so I did.I was nervous but I wnet and I kept the convo going by tlaing abou the sqiuirrle that whole time.just realy do ****.

She then had to pcik up her cell so I just siad later.,and walked on.

dont say hi girls.They dont like that!I did htat a tested that and I get more of a response out fo saying guys then girls.

today I wento into a store where this real cute chick was working,I was actually gon after athe customer because I did not see the other worler there. she coems up to me and my buddy.she shwoed some cloths.she hits me with the ruler and I say wo wo we just met and your already getting abuseive!shwe laughed and sad sorry.,she haned me some patnts and said I want to show you these pants thier on sell blahbalhblahbalh.I grabed tha ruler on accident and she said not the ruler some **** some shti somthsti

well then she ask what our names were.I give out my hand and sya my name.skipping on I am leaing and I say some commetn(cant remeber right nw I am a liil drunk if you cant tell by my typing) and gave her a very very sexual eye staer to let her know I like her.

I then made a convo to a chick in line at a mcdys.she had a helmet so I started it.so I bet you ride a halrey right knowing that she did not.

I will fix this tomorrow when I have the cahnce

 

[cool dude]

Tonight at my job one of my co workers had a seizure out of nowhere!It was crazy!She was brought to the bathroom and I could hear her screaming,and moaning. The ambulance was called and they grabbed her up.I wanted to go and see her shaking but I felt like it would be the wrong thing to do,just to watch and spectate,and not have anything to contribute to helping her.

After work,and after getting my paycheck(which feels great) I walked to the bus stop. Waiting, feeling good.

I get on the bus early and chilled while it makes a lap to where I was. After the bus driver gets to the point where he is now going inbound to the station he asks me to swipe my card again. A little confused I tell him that I already payed.

He says,"you have to pay again because we are now going inbound".

I am not understanding what you are saying,I tell him.

"Let me say this so you will understand.We were going out bound from the station,and now we are going inbound.You see not to many people are taking the bus anymore,so we have to charge them going inbound and outbound. So swipe your card again".

I do not have a bus card.I used a pass.I do not have another one,I tell him.
I got this from a buddy from work so I can get home.

Oh is that the case then.

Now, this bus driver before yelled at some kid because he did not have bus fair. He gave the kid a lecture but he paid for his ride.
I knew what I was getting into.

I will let you off the hook this time.He says.

HE spoke with such authority!He seemed to yell his point across to me maybe to establish he was a dominant person.I was not moved in any way. I raised my voice to show that I am also an alpha. I cut him off sometimes,and told him he was wrong at some points. I could tell he was used to talking and not listening.
He went on to tell me that people here in daytona do not seem to be very smart. They are somewhat spacey to what the rules are. He then went on to telling me that where he is from they would just kick you off and I would have to walk to where ever I was going.

"I walked 3 hours one time because I did not have bus fair"

"People here do not have friends they can count on" he says.

"I have friends that will drive hours to help me out,but here I do not know those kind of people. I have coworkers, neighbors,but no friends."

the conversation went on to him telling me about a child who's father died and the mother was a drug addict.The child living with her grand parents stole their car to see her boyfriend.

The switch happened. I was able to change the conversation to him being pissed about the bus fair to him opening to me about a difficult situation.

We then talked about the health care here and how the grand father is going to die soon from cancer,and the mother is still really depressed about her own son dying of brain cancer,11 years ago.

An hb 5.6 got on the bus.She walked right pass me,but my main focus was on the bus driver and what he was saying.

I went back to telling him that people here complain that health care in canada sucks because you have to pay major taxes and the doctors suck blah blahblah. Then a guy that I see on the bus a lot that is very quiet get in to talk about the health care situation here.

He was saying he knew people from canada and they told him that it takes months for someone to get an mri.He then went on to saying the only way to fix this health care problem is "we need interstate buying of health care" or some ****.That was his main point and his only one it seemed like.He just said it in different ways.

It was his stop so he got off and me and the bus driver were like what was that guy talking about. I never heard a canadian complain about their health care.

The girl that got on the bus earlier than sat closer to me.I got the feeling that she just wanted to be near me.

We arrived at the interstate modul facility. I notice the girl get off the bus in a hurry and she almost got squashed by another bus flying by her.

I tell the bus driver take it easy and head to my other bus.

I walk to the other bus and I notice the girl sitting at my same bus stop. I walk around looking at people and she says"do you want a cigarette"?

No thanks,I don't smoke.Only cigars.

She laughed and said she wanted to know if I would share cancer with her.

I laughed and said no thanks you can do that by yourself.She looked down with a smirk and said I will.
We then got into a conversation. She told me she sat closer to me because she wanted to know what we were talking about.
While talking I was thinking about how I could use some pua techniques but I couldn't find anything to think of. I thought to myself **** it!I'll just go with the flow.This will be inner game practice.

I tried not giving her that much eye contact because I noticed she was doing the same.

We get on the bus and she tells me my voice sounds exactly the same as a freind of hers.She feels like she is talking to her freind.I took that as she is comfortable with me,and is open.

This post is getting long for one convo so I will I get to the point.

She seems really open and the convo flowed easy.She showed me a picture of her posing with a badge and with a gun.She told me a freind of hers is a cop. That was definitely an IOI.

My stop came up so I had to get off. The dumb thing was,is that I did not ask for her number. I should have. I just got up,she said bye first and I got off,way ahead of where I should have gotten off.So I walked home bummed.

 

[cool dude]

Great night lastnight!!! Heres what happened.Very shortened and to to point.I have homework to do.

I call this girl I walked up to on the beach like 4 months ago and asked her if she wanted to chill.I finally had a car to go chill with her so I took the opportunity. I was a little nervous about meeting this girl but I knew it would be good for me.,

I get to her house and there are 2 other girls with her.Her sis and a freind.

We go to my crib and chill for a liil bit to figure out what to do. I had a great frame the whole time by the way.I was totally being ****y and funny!

They were bored so I was tryin to find a party or something.the girl I met at the beach said she was glad to chill with me.She thought it was going to be awkward or something.

I said it is never awkward when I am around.I bring the party to life!

The other girls said they were glad to meet me also.They thought I was really cool and we are friends and all that.

We go to this house to get vodka and then we go back to my place.the sis is sick so I tell her to lay in the guest bedroom.Me and the others are drinking.

One of them finds a party and so I drive to it.It took forever!

we finally get there and it was in a farm! Out in the middle of nowhere we were chillin at a farm.

I meet a bunch of people that thought I was mad cool right off the bat. They were like this guy is cool who is he!?

the girl I met at the beach met this dyke and they started makin out.I did not care becuase I knew I could get with her,I could get with any of them.Massive IOIs from all of them.

One of the girls gets really drunk and I accidentally spilled beer all over her.She hits me in the face a few times!

I told her it was me and she said its okay just dont do it again.

I made out with the chick from the beach!Right in front of the dyke and when we got back to her place with all the other girls including the dyke I was makin out with her and fingering her in the same bed!

She was givin me a hand job and I was fingering her.She was so wet!
I wanted to **** her so bad it was crazy!

All these girls around me in the same room and me and this chick were on the way to ****ing!
We just did some foreplay and that was it,then I passed out.

Woke up today and I was in my boxers.They all liked it.They thought I had a real nice body!I acted ****y and said I know I work on it a lot.One of the girls was calling me retarded and I played it off.She was told me she was joking after I made her fill bad.

So yea that was my night in a nut shell.I will go in more detail when I am done doing my homework.

 

[cool dude]

Im not goin to go into more detail so yea.

I met some other people at my school that are really in too pick up. We are hoopefully goin to sargin tomorro at the school. We are goin to crittic each others approaches. I am really excited.

I was supposed to go out tonight but the girls from last time dont want to chill anymore. I guess one of them( not the sisters) don't like me.Its all good. **** it.

 

[cool dude]

Friday night went to my bosses crib after work. We bought some high lifes and drank while we tried to figure out what to do. We call people but nothing is going on so we go to a bar called ya yas.

We trade ids because I am not old enough to drink. I walk in like I own the place and already I notice people can feel my vibe. I noticed though that it was filled with dykes and rednecks! I thought to myself great how am I going meet women here.

"Fuk it Ill just go sing some karioki" I tell myself. I go pick a song but I gotta wait like an hour.
I look for my boss and he is talking to some girls I walk up and I find out she looks mad sexy. I said whats up and got her name. I felt lost forsome reason like everything I have learned just vanished from my mind. I did not know how t flirt with her what to say or anything.

I decided I would just go right into kino. I talked quietly so she we would talk in each others ear. My nose actually poked her in the eye one time! It was funny.
Later I say to give me her number its too loud in here to talk. She does and the only thing I can say is hey.She txted the same thing back.

They leave and so do we. While leaving some guy tries to act alpha.HE got in my face and so I pushed him and he lost his balance. My boss was holding e back but I was not going to go after the guy. I then started to yell" I'll TIGHTEN MY BELT FOR YOU HOMIE I"LL TIGHTEN MY BELT!!"

His girls put him back in the car and called me a bich. We went home and got more drunk!

 

[cool dude]

THe other day I talked to this chick that I "thought" I liked. I go up to her and say "Whats up!"

She was cool and had an air of maturity to her. I asked her what she is doing.SHe said she is just on the computer.
Your facebooking arent you. I say with a cool manner.,
No,IIIm noot.
I then go on to what do you do for work. she tells me what she does.SHe is a realiter. I listen as she tells me how that goes. THen somehow the conversation leads to religion.BUM BUM BUBUMMMMMM!! I was stuck. We started having a conversation on religion and how she believes in god and why I don't and all that jazz.
I actually convinced myself that I thought it was good to have a deep conversation about this. It was different but I would have liked to started some attraction. SHe told me she had a boyfreind she wants to marry and she is going to wait to get married before she has sex.

I was done I totally fuked up!

So today me and my new buddy talk about pick up. I guess this guy is really good at gaming women. I talk to him about what my problem is and what I am going to do.
I came to the concussion that my innner game is wrong and I am putting to much thought on pic up. He told me he goes in with the belief that there already his friends.

Great frame to get into! I read that if your totally confident that you can break every rule in pick up.

I feel lost on how to progress myself. I should stop reading more and first figure this step in my life.

Chick was next to me at lunch waiting for food.
I opened with that looks good what are you getting. I immidietley noticed my frame of mind. I WAS NERVOUS!! I don't know why. I just was.

I did get her to come sit with me though. She called her boyfriend and started saying "hey sweety how are you? what you doin?" I think she was trying to let me know she has a boyfriend and she is taken. I wasnt even trying to flirt with her.

The convo went whatever. I started to try and force the frame that I do not care what happens just go with it like everything is normal.

She left and I said bye sarah. she didnt say anyhting back and so I said "what you don't remember my name?" she laughed and said" no I don't" and kept walking.


THings I learned:

I am no in my right frame of mind.

I need to be more organized.

Get more field practice.

Accept failure....

 

[cool dude]

I got a real confidence booster tonight that made me wonder why am I such a BICH!!!!

The night before walking home from work.I felt mad tired but for some reason very cool.Like the kinda of james dean cool. So I'm walking down the street rapping to myself and I see this cute girl pumping gas.She was driving a monte carlo. I said to her "beautiful ride" She looked at me and smiled then I said right after" it goes with your looks". I felt so good I did not care what happened and I truly meant it. She just smiled bigger and looked away in a shy state. I pulled my sunglasses back up my eyes and walked on. She drove passed me and slowed down and reved her engine.Then speeded into the night.

It was like I thought of what to say, then instead of keeping it in my head I just said it. It was cool!

Tonight at work there is this chick that I knew liked me. I am very good at reading people and everyday that passed I could tell her attraction for me was getting bigger. Its like I can sense her energy its weird And I know it does sound weird. But that's what happens.Like when you hang around with shady people and something is about to go down.You get this weird vibe from every one. Anyways,so today was the day she finally could not take it anymore.

At work she gave a piece of paper to a freind and told her to pass it to me.
I had a feeling what it was. I open it and it says " How old are you? Do you have a girl? Do you think I'm hot? lol Give me you number!" It also said write back immediately. I took my time..hehe

I thought it was funny this chick was writing me a note like we were in highschool let alone middle school!

I gave really short answers. 20, no, 386 898 3826, and no.

I gave her the note. we went on break and she walked fast out the door past everyone and sat by herself. All the other girls went with her.

We get off break and I am talking to a buddy. He is saying how he can get any women he wants in this place and he use to get mad hot girls. He makes jokes that I suck with women that they don't like me blah blah.
He is jealous though because all the women there think I am good looking. They tell me and I have this style to everyone that I get mad women all the time like I'm a player. So he is jealous.
While he was saying all this crap I was going along with it. Thinking, if he only knew what is going on tonight.

I bump into her.and I say my bad.Then she gives me this ugly look saying you really don't? and I said yea I really don't. She then went eiwww your the first guy to ever say that. And I was like really Im the first?
yea you are. With a bratty look and tone of voice.

The rest of the time I knew it was bothering her. I could see her looking at me from the corner of her eyes. She texted me.You really dont think I'm hot!Wtf you ruined a good night.
I looked at her and she stared at me with a bratty mad face. She lip synced I am shocked.Really shocked you don't.

I got tired of her brattiness and said why are you making this such a big deal.
She turned away.

I am glad I did not just say yes so I can just get laid. This will make me a better man.

I am having problems with the sisters. one of them is blowing me off it seems like. I have only txt her,but I am getting that feeling. Tonight I said we shoudl hang out this weekend. She didnt text back so an hour later I said its like that huh.
She txt back its like what.
Me" ITs....like....that
She txt back I dont understand.
I txted If you dont know then I guess you wont understand.
Her"um ok"

I asked the sis to hang but she hasnt got back to me yet. I am not getting a bad vibe from her. I think I might forget the lil sister and just go after the older one.

 

[cool dude]

Went out last night.Got rejected by every girl I went up to and I almost got in 5 fights. But hey that biketoberfest!!

More later!!

 

[cool dude]

Ok so I have been sargin everyday since monday. I have talked to 8 woman in 5 days.Got rejected by some but kept going. By going out more I am starting to realize the flaw in my game. One girl I opened I told her I like her pants.She liked the copmliment. I saw her again and teased her about how she wals fast. SHe told me her name fist then I told her mine.

walked up to one girl with headphones on and tapped her on the shoulder and asked what she is listening to. I then gave her my headset and she liked the song I was listening to. We talked about her liking games or something. I teased her,called her a dork made fun of her speech. I dont think the negs were needed though.seemd a lil insecure she wrote down my facebook page. Never got a request.

Opened up another girl.I said its illegal to walk on the grass. she looked down and said she doesnt care.

I saw her again and told her I met her before. I thought she was crazy because she was talking to a squirrel. She smiled and said oh ok. we traded names then departed.


open up some other girls but got rejected.Got ignored.

So yea I am a lil pissed because I have no night life and none of the people I know will drive me. I rather be Independent and go places on my own. I have no care no good freinds and no life. I live a great life!

 

[cool dude]

Hey everyone! I am back, and I am ready to start all over again. I moved from daytona to st pete, near tampa. Life is a lot more dull here so this is going to be tough. I moved here in January with high expectations of how fun I am gong to have. I felt I was having life by the balls and I was in charge. Well I felt that way for about a month then I wen through massive depression, and I didn't come back up this time. It was tough. I became insecure, and nervous. My memory was shot too ****, and it seemed like everything I had learned disappeared. Life was hell, and time jut kept going faster and faster.

I started taking things in steps. First it was body language, but everytime I would read or listen to an audio book I would just forget about it. It was because my inner self was so broken I had to get that cleared up first(I did not realize it at the time).

So now I am on the path. I am writing in my journal for what I am grateful for, and trying to see life instead of being stuck inside my thoughts. i am meditating, and even though I did do yoga when I first moved here, I still felt depressed. Meditation is very helpful though, especially on the beach.

Recently I did a speech on being a pua, or dj. I got a c on the speech, but I could see people were liking it, except for one kid who was laughing at me. Later after class, one girl came up too me, and she told me how that kid is always staring at her, and trying to talk too her.

I realize that I have been grasped by negativity again in my life. Things have changed for me, and I am the only cause of it being bad.

I am hoping too receive as much feedback as possible from you guys reading my NEW journey. I would appreciate it.

Late, cool dude

 

[cool dude]

I went out tonight, to see rusted roots live. It was amazing! It started to rain, but it didn't sow anyone down. My buddy got us some free tickets, so I meet him before the show. He introduces me to 2 girls, one is a lil chubby, but the other is fine! Really fine! I was a lil nervous around them. We sit down and chat for a bit, then we head off to the show. She doesn't really acknowledge me too much. We all split up and so it is just me for a bit.

I see them in the crowd so I meet up with them, and it seemed like she was glad too see me. Her eyes spoke what she was feeling towards me. We were just standing there and sh started the convo with me.

She asked me how I knew jason(my buddy). I told her, and then the convo died. So I ask her where she went to school. She said she was an accountant. I played on that and said wow, what a boring job. She laughed and nudged me a lil, with a sexy look. She said so what do you do, I said I am a music major. I told her I am a dj. She asked what gigs I have, and I ****ed up by saying I don't have any I play at my crib. She laughed, and then her friend butted in, so we talked about her job.

Me and her stopped talking until I asked her does she like rusted roots. She said she just came here with her friend for fun. After she said that I didn't know what to say. I transition too talking too my friend. Like I felt so awkward. She was soooo hot.

Later that night a guy came up too her, and flirted with her. He wanted her number so I told her to give a fake one. She did, haha it was pretty funny!

She was looking at me the whole night with those eyes. After the show ended we walked to the corner of the block. My buddy said by, and I said why don't you guys take down my number. I looked mainly at the ugly girl.

She said I will get it from jason, which was bull****. I looked at the hot girl and she just stared at the fat chick with a smirk. I said, well whatever, and said bye. I shook the hot girls hand, and she held on too it. I thought it was weird because she didn't take down my number.

I should have just asked her assertively.