43 year old needs dating advice

[Slickster]

Frank, I haven't been keeping up with all the reading in this post.

However, just wondering if you have any other prospects besides this woman at work? In my opinion dating someone at work would be a pain in the ass. Get out there and find some women!

However, she'd be great to practice social skills on.

Good luck Frank. Keep us posted how things go.

 

[frankcd]

Slickster,


She is a temp and has no intention or possibilty of becoming an employee of my company. Maybe at the most she will be with us for a month.

I am also keeping my avenues open for others but the propspects are slim now. (Other than the temp I have the TV gal and that is very slim at best.) I updated my profile for Match.com and have had 0 responses from women 30 to 42 in the past week. Women I respond to have no interest in me.

Of course I am expanding my horizons.

My competition is from other men over 40 and also the younger men for the same women. I have seen it and my buddies have told me that clubs and bars are bruttal. My buddies tell me bars are not the place for an inexperienced person like myself.

I will keep you current on what happens.

As always feedback appreciated.

see ya,
Frank

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Frank,
Here's an article that was posted on Askmen.com this week. Don't let the title fool you, the information works as long as you aren't going after "teenie boppers."


A Guide to Dating In Your 30s

 

[frankcd]

Francisco,

I will read it. Thanks.


Also, I found this one: @http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_60/78_dating_list.html

Which I thought was very informative.
see ya,
Frank

 

[frankcd]

Question

Hello everyone,

I was thinking of purchasing this book. Is this man on track in your opinion or just pushing his material?

@http://www.remingtonpublications.com/prod01.htm


See ya,
Frank

 

[frankcd]

I really have made up my mind to forget about women. I screwed up with the TV gal and made an ass out of myself in front of her co-workers for what I did not do.

Then I was talking with a woman maybe 26/27 who is a temp at my company. She started last 10/20 and I started speaking to her on 10/22. And she approached me. We talked about very general and non-specific topics. And I only spoke to her at lunch. So, on 10/24 she called her temp agency and complained about me. She said "I was being a bother to her" and I get chewed out by boss today 10/27 for making time with a woman young enough to be my daughter, he told me.
Needless to say we do not talk anymore.

Have had enough. I am quiting while I am ahead and have my life. Next time it will be a crazy boyfriend with a gun.

No more women, I am tired and I do not have the endurance at 44 to flirt with them....

I know you will lose respect for me, so I am a loser with women and I do not really care.


Thanks for all your suggestions but I am a hopeless case. I can not win for anything with women.

I had the desire to be a priest back 35 years ago, maybe I will become a monk. I am serious. Maybe the Creator above is sending me a message.

see ya,
Frank

 

[MacDonald]

That's the spirit!

You're doing things that you are not telling us about. You are creeping these women out somehow.

What do you look like? Are you hideous? I doubt you are.

I would love to see exactly how you acted around these women.

You're doing something majorly wrong and not telling us the whole story, I think.

Maybe you're right. Give up. With your attitude, you're already dead.

 

[Player_Supreme]

yo whinner. My ass is older than you are. I'm 44 and I've been having fun with women. Get of ya butt..Quit whinning and get out there and start the best thing this site has going for it:

Boot Camp.

Just do it.

But don't do it at work fool. That shyt will get you in trouble. Especially if you sound as geeky as you write.

Here is web addy of photo's. I'm an un attractive big black man and I still get p*ussy. Young pu*ssy as the girl who is kissing me (darker photo 20 year old model) and the well lit one 28 year old.

Don't give up do the work and you will grow.

http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrowse.asp?selected=570549

When you first showed up I responded to you...then I watched your thread keep coming back up for weeks and weeks.

I wasn't going to respond to this but curiosity got the better of me. I was hoping to read about your success not you calling yourself a loser and stupid shyt like that looking for self pity. That's pathetic man.

All the work these slobs on this site do to go out and score and you whine and will not do the work now.

 

[frankcd]

To MacDonald and Player_Supreme,

I am doing exactly as I told you. I spoke with the temp during lunch. She approached me and she talked very friendly. All I discussed was why she is here, and she told me she just moved home and hopes to go to grad school. She even spoke to me this morning willingly and happy. Then my boss spoke to me regarding her.

I have no idea what I did or what I didn't do. It was as though she set me up. She will be done in two weeks.

No I am not ugly or freakish looking. I am average. She was nice looking but not as attractive as the TV gal.. I was just trying to improve my social skills. I had no intention of dating her and then she slams me......

Maybe I will wear a tape recorder and then post it on here so you can hear my style.

Again, this was very general talk with this temp and not digging.
I never asked her age. I just figured if she graduated in 2000 she is 26/27. And to say again, she talked freely. If I was bothering her why didn't she say f*ck off.......

No, I do not want pity. I just wrote what was happening with the ladies. And that I am becoming disgusted and frustrated. I get the ladies to talk and I can talk general stuff. But I am reluctant to ask for a date because I do not want to hear the no.

Also, is anyone familiar with Dennis Neder and his book? I may buy it. @http://www.remingtonpublications.com/prod01.htm

It maybe the age group is too young. Probably 35 is a minimum.
Young women are offended by men over 40...

In fact women play a game with me and then screw me. They must enjoy my poor experience and like to see me try to make time with them.



Any other questions.

see ya,
Frank

 

[Player_Supreme]

One of the biggest mistakes a player can make is being a fool who fishes off his company pier.

don't ever engage females that you work with in convo that is unrelated to work. it doesn't pay.

do your hunting away from where you work, sleep, or eat on a regular basis.

never shyt where you eat is the phrase I think.

I see a lot of stupid assed chumps on here talking about some girl they work with and how stupidly in love with them that their punk ass is and I can only shake my head.

Stupid is as stupid does is another phrase.


get out into the world and explore how many women you can hook up with bruh.

Start the greatest invention known to mankind "the boot camp"
and just do it

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by frankcd: Maybe I will wear a tape recorder and then post it on here so you can hear my style

Good idea. Try and get one of those hidden cameras so we can further analyze your situation

Originally posted by frankcd: Thanks for all your suggestions but I am a hopeless case. I can not win for anything with women.

I had the desire to be a priest back 35 years ago, maybe I will become a monk. I am serious. Maybe the Creator above is sending me a message.

Maybe you should go find a sexy young psychiatrist to speak with and hope she has pity on you.

A 40 year old flirting only with women that are fresh out of high school is gonna look weird. You didn't get to enjoy your youth so naturally you ponder about the joys of ravishing a non wrinkly body but some people don't want that to happen regardless of it's legality. They are the same folks that would look down on you if you told them you decided to go bungie jumping.

Before you join a monastery I think you should live a bad ass lifestyle. Get a harley, grow a pony tail, wear some leather and visit the wh0rehouses (either to get some loving or tell them about christ). Forget about playing catch up.

 

[frankcd]

Yes, I did think it was the age I was talking with. They act friendly but down under they are annoyed. Why they would want an over the hill man is beyond me. They have the pick of all the young studs and do not want an old fart with grey and white hair. The more that I think about the both of them (TV Gal and the temp) were toying with me. They both got a laugh thinking I would get a piece. The temp really played it and was smiling when she saw me and the whole deal. And my nieve ass fell for it. Oh well get burned three times is a fool....

Some on this board do agree age is not a factor but I really do believe it is a major factor in a relationship.

Any other tips.

See ya,
Frank

 

[Slickster]

Wait a minute Frank!!!

Before you become a priest.

You haven't been here that long Frank. This journey doesn't happen in a few months. It can take years. I know you're in your 40's but you've only started learning this stuff recently. Don't give up.


Fukk the age issue there are plenty of women out there closer to your age. Don't even think about it.

It is at times like this you need to re-double your efforts. I agree with Player Supreme. Do a DJ Bootcamp. You start off slowly and work your way up. Trust me you will improve.

 

[DjDreamer]

Frank, allow your anger to flow... They had a dirty attitude towards you because of your age so why should you play by their rules? You should live like a bad ass! Forget about trying to please those simple minded kids...

 

[frankcd]

Slickster,

I appreciate the kind words. But I am disgusted with my poor ass and to be honest some days I just get so depressed I could cry, literally. Yes a 40+ man who is lonely and finds the rejection harder to take everyday. When I see men half my age with women swarming around them and they are average looking, it gets to me.

I am doing the Bootcamp. I am approaching women all most daily and conversing with them. And these are strangers.
Like I said a year ago I would not have spoken with the TV gal. She was so nice looking I would have given up before I started.
But I spoke with her and whether her intentions were serious or playing I will never know. But I blew it. And I felt good about myself that I spoke to her.

Then the episode with the temp really set me back. I really buried my tail between the legs with her. I was shocked with what transpired. Why didn't she just tell me to leave her alone or stop speaking. I would have left her alone.

Again, she was too young.... I have to avoid the ladies under 35... Regardless of those on the board who think any woman over 21 is possible, I disagree.... My track record speaks for itself.


Any other ideas,

Frank

 

[Surfboard]

Also, is anyone familiar with Dennis Neder and his book? I may buy it.

This book is a good read, but pretty much everything in the book can be found on this site.

Another book I'd suggest reading is this one.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...f=sr_1_1/103-7546775-3395823?v=glance&s=books

 

[frankcd]

In all honesty I have been praying daily for months to meet a woman. I figured I would ask the Lord to guide me to her. (I even spent money to have the prayer published) I was asking that the woman approach me and just about ask me out. Since I am a coward and don't have the balls to do it.

And I thought each of the ladies; the church woman, the TV gal and the temp was maybe her. They all did what I had been asking for in my prayers, they showed interest in me and approached me. But I fuc&ed it up.

If they were the answer to my prayers I am not sure how many more chances I will be granted.

Yes, I am trying anything since I am desperate..... Just have notused a match mating service that costs thousands.

see ya,
Frank

 

[frankcd]

Surfboard,

Dennis Neder is on the money with his book? He is not just telling men everything to make a buck. Some say to date women over 18 at any age.

see ya,
Frank

 

[MVPlaya]

JOIN BOOTCAMP

You can Join a BootCamp to whip you into Dating Shape. Also, the correct answer is "enough" said with a smile (when asked about how many prior relationships you've had). Also, if pressed on, say "somewhere between 10 and 15."

BTW., do you guys know that this is the most wildly succesful POSTING on SOSUAVE.COM? It has over 5000 views!

----------

About the BootCamp, it is good in some parts, because it teaches you to be more comfortable in approaching strangers and showing your confidence to people, but it is lacking for you in that it was designed with the younger male in mind. For one, one week is devoted to getting phone #s, I am not saying that this is impossible for a man of your age, simply that at my age (or that of the author of the Bible BootCamp) I have no idea how the hell you do that or where for that matter. Other than that though, there is a 35-year old on the BootCamp and he seems to be doing just fine, you still have time to Join. So make that investment, it'll pay off before you turn 44.

 

[Slickster]

So you are doing the Bootcamp! Great because you have noticed some improvement.

Thats all you need Frank. Celebrate your baby steps. Forget your failures. Its like looking for a job. You could apply at 100 places and keep getting "no's" but the more "No's" you get the closer you are to that "yes".

Don't put too much pressure on yourself Frank. You know how many 40 year old guys who are unhappy with their marriages would love to be in your shoes. They would love to be doing things like the DJ Bootcamp. Always look at the positives. I know its easy to see the negatives sometimes but you have to know that its all just a state of mind.

I used to work at a really brutal physical job. It was piece-work. (The more you do the more you get paid.) Well there was opportunity to make big money if you were a real go getter. However the conditions were terrible and it was soooo easy to get yourself down about things. Especially working with a bunch of people with low morale. Well there were a few guys there who had it all figured out and they taught me a few things. You have to take the negative things that happen with a sh!t eating grin on your face. The worse it gets the harder you work. The more you feel like crying the more you laugh at your plight. When other people are down and trying to drag you down with them you exude positivity and turn them around. When things are bad make a joke and dig in deeper, try harder.

I made alot of money at that job Frank. Better yet it made me a better person. When I left that job I felt like I had been to war. I felt as tough as nails physically and mentally I could take on any challenge. I turned my negative ass around by simply flicking the switch in my mind. If you don't work out or do physical exercise I suggest you do. Anything you do physically that you can set goals and challenge yourself is great for your confidence. Running, cycling, weights, etc.

Some guys will be harsh with you here but don't worry too much about that. They're just trying to kick you in the ass.

Good luck Frank. Keep us posted on your successes. There are no failures, just learning.

Edit: Frank I just read your last two replies. Come on man. Your attitude speaks volumes about why you are having troubles.

Buck up buddy.

Talk to ya soon.