43 year old needs dating advice

[frankcd]

MVPlaya,

I am well aware this has thousands of views. I mentioned that an author found this thread and emailed me about a book he was writing. Maybe when I get good my calling is to be a dating advice specialist.

And I am embarassed with all the views that at my age I had to do this. But if it helps others than all the better.

see ya,
Frank

 

[frankcd]

Slickster,

I agree with what you say. I had a seminar and this is what they told me about the secret to Happiness in life. It comes from 5 things or areas in your life. All fact and true!

1).Control: that you control your environment or events.
2).Optimism: Rejection is incentive to try harder. The more a person tried and failed, the more determined they get.
3).Faith: Believing in a Higher Power.
4).Activities: Enjoying your work, having interests and hobbies.
5).Companionship: Friends or partner to rely on.

Well, I am missing the second and the fifth one....

see ya,
Frank

 

[NewMan]

Frank,

Where do you live?

It sounds like you should hook up with a fellow DJ member for a night out - or multiple nights out.

The fact is - and you'd know this if you had read the bible - attitude is everything.

Frank - I was a late started - I sucked with women, but now, all that has changed.... I'm doing fvcking great.

Same can happen to you.

Like others said - you just have to buck the fvck up and be a man for God's sake. What the hell should you care if a 100lbs chick says she doesn't want to go out with you? Are you crazy?

Do what you gotta do my man - but quite your Pi##ing and moaning and move on.

There's nothing else you can get out of this post.

 

[Slickster]

You maybe missing #2 but that can be easily changed by you.

As long as you keep coming here and doing your homework you'll have #5 too.

You're on your way Frank. You know what you have to do.

You watch Hockey Frank? What do you think the chances of the Devils doing a repeat are?

 

[frankcd]

No, I do not follow hockey. I am more a baseball and basketball fan.

Yes, I will do as suggested. Being a late starter does put me a little behind the 8 ball, but hey, go with the flow.

I am from NJ just outside of Philadelphia, PA, I am not sure if any members are around my way.

I am still at the basic steps; making glib talk with ladies.

see ya,
Frank

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by frankcd
Slickster,

Again, she was too young.... I have to avoid the ladies under 35... Regardless of those on the board who think any woman over 21 is possible, I disagree.... My track record speaks for itself.

Frank that's exactly what I suggested to you in a post a short time ago. You're what, forty-four years old, it's likely that you'll have little in comon with someone in the mid-twenties age group. Frank there are a lot of women in the forty to fifty age group and this is where I feel you should be concentrating your efforts, atleast for the time being.

Also, don't worry about looking for a wife or a long term realationship, hook up with women in your age group and develop yourself and your skills with women.

Finally, take your pick up attempts away from work, as it's already been proven out, relationships with co-workers can mean big trouble.

 

[MacDonald]

Originally posted by frankcd
I am from NJ just outside of Philadelphia, PA, I am not sure if any members are around my way. [/B]

I'm in NJ south of Philly, but I'm not the man to set you on the right track. It would be weird, if you know what I mean.

But you live near Philly? There is SO much potential tail in Philly it's unreal. You should be there every weekend! I know LOSERS---AFC insecure wimps--that have picked up women in bars. Don't go to the trendy places on South Street or Delaware Ave. Go deeper into the city to the local bars. The crowd is a bit more real.

I command you to go to Philly this weekend and go in multiple bars and start Bootcamp!! At least make eye contact and smile.

It would be awesome if you could tape one of your conversations(your idea).

Why don't you post a pick of yourself? It can't hurt. You've already been embarrassed, so go the extra step.

 

[MVPlaya]

M!zzunderstandings:

One of the things that many people don't understand about being a DJ is that this is not a quest to become a total PIMP or player, rather, it is about becoming the person you wan't to be and, hereby, attracting women. If your goal is so supremely focused on getting women, you are only giving yourself unneeded baggage. A player is not only the man who can score the good-looking intelligent women, he is the man who can make friends, build good connections, and establish important relationships with people. This is every bit as important to you as it is to your sexlife; although emphasis is placed on the you. I think that the one important thing to understand is (and this is a new lesson for me too) that there are plenty of other women out there and getting rejected by one or having one get mad at you is no big deal becaus they are not the key to your happiness in life.

You need to realize that following the ideas brought out in all these DJ Bible things is not about finding a woman who will complete your life, but learning to understand how to complete it yourself. I've heard this time and time again and never understood it (still don't, to a degree), but you don't attract women until you are satisfied with yourself.

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H0llywood lied to us...

 

[Player_Supreme]

Re: M!zzunderstandings:

Originally posted by MVPlaya
One of the things that many people don't understand about being a DJ is that this is not a quest to become a total PIMP or player, rather, it is about becoming the person you wan't to be and, hereby, attracting women. If your goal is so supremely focused on getting women, you are only giving yourself unneeded baggage. A player is not only the man who can score the good-looking intelligent women, he is the man who can make friends, build good connections, and establish important relationships with people. This is every bit as important to you as it is to your sexlife; although emphasis is placed on the you. I think that the one important thing to understand is (and this is a new lesson for me too) that there are plenty of other women out there and getting rejected by one or having one get mad at you is no big deal becaus they are not the key to your happiness in life.

You need to realize that following the ideas brought out in all these DJ Bible things is not about finding a woman who will complete your life, but learning to understand how to complete it yourself. I've heard this time and time again and never understood it (still don't, to a degree), but you don't attract women until you are satisfied with yourself.

-------------------------------------------
H0llywood lied to us...

Wise words for someone so young. You will do well at what ever style you choose.

 

[mrbreeze]

I wasn’t going to respond to this but I might as well jump on the band wagon since I seem to be the oldest one here. To tell you the truth I’m not convinced this isn’t a hoax.

Frank if you are for real you need to see some sort of counselor. You have some sort of human interaction problem. You need to concentrate on making friends, male friends, female friends, family friends. You need to interact with all sorts of people. Young, old, middle aged, and even people in an old folks home. These people need friends and people to talk to desperately, as you seem to.

You didn’t get to be with 20-30yo’s when you were that age so I can see where you feel you need to go back in time and make up for it... Forget about it.

You said in your original post…

I am concerned that if I date women over 35 they will look upon me as a joke....

...You are gonna have to get past that.

I think the boot camp would be a good idea for you, but you need to make male friends. I think this is going to have to be a giant first step for you.

Really, there are so many women that want/need a man our age. I think your basic problem is true intimacy, not just sex. Just the ability to communicate with a woman is a blessing that a lot of guys underestimate. Listen to her problems, just listen, and remember in your talks with her that men don’t have problems, at least none that concern her. Phone skills…and simply conversation skills have to be honed and used.

I’m remembering a book I read when I was about 17 called the Sensuous Man by “M”. This book alone helped me so much I can’t begin to tell you. Find it…read it study it. Remember it was written in the early seventies and men were supposed to be more sensitive then so don’t go back in time in that respect. If this book had given the advice to bust her balls it woulda been damn near perfect, and I mighta been plum dangerous. If you can’t find it don’t sweat it, there is still plenty to read, but you really have to start studying and practicing the art of making love and just women in general.
Actually, I have read everything I possibly could in regard to women. I know more about women’s bodies than most women do.

Frank… for someone that’s in need of a date so desperately you sure are picky. I do see a 23yo but I’m not going to fool my self into thinking I’m gonna grow old with this woman. We do have things in common but not enough for a LTR. Truth be known she bores me, except for the sex.

Frank, I hate to put it to you this way buddy, but you are either gonna have to go get a couple a hookers and get some experience under your belt, or start picking up drunk fugly women outta bars and using ‘em plum up.

There has been some excellent advice thrown around in here over this…Listen to Player_Supreme and our young friend MVPlaya their words are sound.

Oh... and kill that desperation

...there is such a thing as trying too hard.

 

[frankcd]

On 10/29 I am going to stop in and visit TV gal.. I have nothing to lose. She was interested and maybe I can rekindle her interest. Again I witnessed her tell another woman she liked me back a few weeks ago. She is terrific and I would be very happy to get to know her better.

Well I have thought of speaking with a relationship specialist. But I will pay a few thousand dollars and they will tell me to date women divorced and women with kids.

Again I do not have a tad of interest in a woman with kids or who is divorced. This is a non-disputable issue. That is for marriage but not as much for dating.

Women over 32 and as old as 40 are fine with me. But I am not that desperate to pursue a divorced 50 year old like my buddy also 44. He tells me there are no women and she is the best of the lot. He is going to marry her.

Also, the women in my area are tough. Is has been on the world news how difficult women in the Philadelphia, PA area are so difficult and demanding. They are picky beyond your wildest imagination. And I have no intention of moving to meet a woman.

All the info you guys have posted is true and I am going to learn it and master it. But it is going to take TIME..... I do not want to be learning this for three years and end up with an older woman than I could find now.

And I am the genuine article. This post is positively and absolutley honest and true. I have no reason to lie....

BTW, you may find this interesting.

I have been conversing with a woman 27 for close to two weeks. She works in my complex and I see her on breaks and on my lunch hour. We have been talking and I asked her on 10/28 how she felt about us talking and she said this: " It is not a bother if I have nothing else better to do." (Well I was ready to explode at that point.) Then I said "Oh I see." And then later on 10/28 I said "well I know younger women are freaked out by older men wanting to talk with them fearing they will ask them out." And I said that "I know you all have boyfriends whether real or imaginary" and then I walked away. Well her mouth feel open. I guess she was surprised a man would say the truth. Well I no longer mince words. I had to vent and I sure did. Now I see why the divorce rate is over 50%. BTW she looks dynamite in jeans. I would say at least a 7.5, maybe an 8. Not as nice as the TV gal though. I had to see why she was talking with me. With how she put it I guess I was worth less than dog poop on the bottom of her shoe.

Also, she had been parking next to my car for the past 3 days in a huge parking lot. Plus, it is a distance from where she was parking and her other area was closer to her office. BTW, I also told her not to park next to my car.

But she does smoke and I have never smoked or dated a woman who has (of the very few dates I have been on) and none of my friends smoke. Not that there is anything wrong with it but I just do not like to be around it.

I just am angry with myself that I missed the earlier years and that I have to go after women I really do not want to pursue. I look 35 and I am healthy like a 35 year old.

Player Supreme you are wise well beyond your years. A woman emailed me this: "Confident men are attractive because women (and men for that matter) like the idea that someone that sure of himself likes them."

Well enough said....

see ya,
Frank

 

[MVPlaya]

Hey Frank,

Learning how to attract women does take time. You will be required to a great deal of effort in order to learn how to attract the classy women. But you certainly don't need to spend 3 years if you just follow through. Some guys here have registration dates dating back to 2000 and they still complain about not understanding THE MOST BASIC concepts, in the past month, I have made great strides in order to better myself. How fast you learn depends on how determined you are, it is important that you put effort into this, but at the same time, don't sacrifice your own life. Learning how to "play" should not come at the expense of your work/relations because ultimately playing is about having additional things in life, mainly women, not replacing work w/ women. So, remember, try to be succesful, because this will make sure that you are more confident with yourself. About the women in your area, however, you have to know that in any group of people (larger than 30) you have at least 1 women of every type. This means that in Philadelphia there are all sorts of women. Even if Philly girls are more choosy or stuck up, there is a sizable group of women who are more "down to earth." When I did my bootcamp I realized that plenty of girls at my college were just plain stuck up and unresponsive, so I went to a different environment for practicing: malls, etc. People behave differently in different environments, maybe you are meeting the women at the wrong place. At the beginning stage, this is important, because you do need some affirmation as you are attempting to establish contact, but once you get better, you will see that these things are only minor obstacles.

BTW., if you have the money, go to Kenya. One of my friends went there for summer and he said the women were super attractive and in Kenya it is culturally accepted that women pursue and men are pursued. He said women approached him and other men 24/7 and when they caught him cheating, rather than getting mad at him, they were mad at the women he was cheating with for cutting into her action. So, if you want an exotic vacation + a confidence booster (oh, and some wild nights too) go to Kenya. But remember, you can find the women you are looking for anywhere, even in Philadelphia.

Also, Player_Supreme = 44, wise beyond his years means senile... I think you got the name mixed up; but, thx.

 

[frankcd]

Hey MVPlaya,

I am 44 and I have to be cautious about stalking the malls and stores to meet women. But I get the idea of what you are saying. I have to make myself available.

I am going to lighten up right now in meeting a woman. I am coming off as desperate and that is not good.

Sorry for the name mix up....

see ya,
Frank

 

[Walden]

Frank I have four words that may be the most inspiring things you read on this board.

"Player_Supreme is 44".

That's the level you can attain if you try.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by MVPlaya

BTW., if you have the money, go to Kenya. One of my friends went there for summer and he said the women were super attractive and in Kenya it is culturally accepted that women pursue and men are pursued. He said women approached him and other men 24/7 and when they caught him cheating, rather than getting mad at him, they were mad at the women he was cheating with for cutting into her action. So, if you want an exotic vacation + a confidence booster (oh, and some wild nights too) go to Kenya.

I'm assuming your referring to Kenya in Africa?
If this is the case, 500 people die every day from Aids in Kenya.
In certain areas as much as 20% of the adult population has Aids.

Not a good idea to go there, unless you don't mind dying over some infected poontang.

 

[MVPlaya]

Yes, that Kenya

Unless you know of another Kenya, then that would be the Kenya I referred to. Also, there is this brand-new invention, its called the condom. Check it out.

 

[Helter Skelter]

How many people here are okay having sex with a chick who has aids, as long as your wearing a condom?

..................................................I think I hear crickets.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Walden
Frank I have four words that may be the most inspiring things you read on this board.

"Player_Supreme is 44".

That's the level you can attain if you try.

My girlfriend's ex boyfriend just turned 50. He's not quite a DJ but he's a pretty good wingman. He just got a tat and other sh1t that you would think only a 20-something would get. He's a rafc and has been burned a few times (even from a woman he was engaged to) but he bounces back by enhancing himself. That's how he keeps getting all ages of women to hit on him. He tries something, adjusts and tries it again if it doesn't work out.

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by Helter Skelter
How many people here are okay having sex with a chick who has aids, as long as your wearing a condom?

..................................................I think I hear crickets.

Not all have AIDS, and for that matter, I read an article saying that between 30% and 35% of American women have some form of STDs. You wouldn't have sex with American girls now?

BTW., 7.9% of Kenyans have AIDS, not 20%. These are 2001 statistics from the World Health Organization. See for yourself:
http://www.aidsandafrica.com/country.html#23

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And besides, that isn't even the point. It is about cultural differences and how going there, even if you don't get laid, is great for your ego. Also, have faith in the Trojan/Durex Man. My boy got tested when he got back and his test came out negative (which is a positive thing).

On the topic of sex though, read my thread: How To Make Her Orgasm.

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Also, this thread is about Frank, not Kenya. So lets not clutter this thread with a useless debate, if you really want to debate this, open a thread in the Anything Else section and send me a link to it. Besides, I seriously doubt the man would go to Kenya for these purposes. He's got better stuff to do.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by MVPlaya
Not all have AIDS

1 in 5 females 20% are HIV positive

Kenya has been declared a "National disaster" because of the aids epidemic

Frank, don't go to Kenya to pick up chicks this is dumb advice.