43 year old needs dating advice

[frankcd]

Hello All,

My current status.....

I stopped in to visit my TV gal friend today (10/29). And I feel she was more hurt by my not moving on her advances than anything. I see a glimmer, yes only a glimmer of hope with her. But I think she still is attracted to me. Being a fool was my biggest mistake. She appeared to be a fine catch.

No, she did not come over and speak with me. But she did not tell me to leave. He friends all spoke to me but she is just playing hard to get. I can sense that much from the situation.

In time, yes but how much she will allow me is up in the air. All I can do is hope and also look to meet others.

I must admit I attract women but it is my lack of self confidence that is my worst ememy. I have to be more assertive to nip the offer in the bud.

I did see many fine others in the city today... I just have to go for it... And have to accept the rejection and still plug ahead. Easier said than done I suppose but I will develop a toughened skin in time...

P.S. I am far from skilled enough to pick up strangers at this point.

See ya,
Frank

 

[ShortTimer]

No, she did not come over and speak with me.

Women with high interest don't make it difficult for you to go get them, this woman is just not interested. You need to move on. Her freinds all talked to you because she wanted them to c0ck block.

Trust me on this, I've had it done to me PLENTY of times.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by frankcd
P.S. I am far from skilled enough to pick up strangers at this point.

So why visit women who are interested in you if you aren't going to approach? You said yourself that the TV producer seems upset because you hadn't approached. The more you lead her on, the more you are going to piss her off.

 

[crackhead]

Frankcd, I say you go fvck the crap out of a hooker.

I can be the most timid, shy, pathetic, unconfident loser completely afraid of talking to women, but after having sex, my confidence SOURS dude, FORREAL!

I am not sh1tting you.. good sex is completely therapeutic for AFC's.. .at least for me it is

I don't want this to sound the wrong way, but time is obviously not on your side, so why not?


I once saw some footage of some weird debate in the 70's or something and it was this father of a 15-17 year old explaining to a large group of women why he thought that taking his son to a hooker would help him become a man. It sounds pretty unusual, but I believe it man. If I would have had legitimate, good sex at 15, I bet in the last 12 years I would have fvcked at least 50 girls.

Frankcd, if you got the cash, GO FVCK A HOOKER MAN!!

It will contribute to conquering fears, and then you can hit the scene with a different spring in your step!!

 

[leoncour]

Frank - here is an article about middle aged men with almost no sexual and dating experience - hope this helps.

http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2003/10/08/virgin/index_np.html

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by crackhead
Frankcd, I say you go fvck the crap out of a hooker.

I can be the most timid, shy, pathetic, unconfident loser completely afraid of talking to women, but after having sex, my confidence SOURS dude, FORREAL!

I am not sh1tting you.. good sex is completely therapeutic for AFC's.. .at least for me it is

I don't want this to sound the wrong way, but time is obviously not on your side, so why not?


I once saw some footage of some weird debate in the 70's or something and it was this father of a 15-17 year old explaining to a large group of women why he thought that taking his son to a hooker would help him become a man. It sounds pretty unusual, but I believe it man. If I would have had legitimate, good sex at 15, I bet in the last 12 years I would have fvcked at least 50 girls.

Frankcd, if you got the cash, GO FVCK A HOOKER MAN!!

It will contribute to conquering fears, and then you can hit the scene with a different spring in your step!!

frankcd,

Why would you take advice from a crackhead? This man is obviously retarded and needs to snort coke and screw wh0res to get his "game" up, which essentially consists of humping slutty junior high trailor park girls. Take it from someone who's never done coke or screwed prostitutes: you can be succesful with women with hard work and determination... and by the way, about "time is not on your side," Player_Supreme is a year older than you and he'll be having fun for a long time. So what's stopping you?

Also:
"I can be the most timid, shy, pathetic, unconfident loser completely afraid of talking to women, but after having sex, my confidence SOURS dude, FORREAL!"
So....... crackhead is a "timid, shy, pathetic unconfident loser" but after having sex, his confidence "SOURS" (don't ask how such a loser gets sex). What he is telling you is that his sentences don't make sense / that Coke messed up his thought-processes, or that sex with prostitutes ruins your confidence. Either way, someone add a tag to crackhead that changes his status from Don Juan to WBAFC (Way Below Average Frustrated Chump) so that intelligent people don't adopt his retarded advice.

Also, if this guy is 27, why is his English so poor today? "FORREAL"!
crackhead, You are a prime example of why people shouldn't do drugs.

 

[frankcd]

Hello again,

This is long but filled with many interesting points.

MVPlaya, I do not take everything posted in this thread as gospel.
So do not worry that I follow everyone's advice.

Thanks Leoncour for the link to the article. I found it very informative. A lot of it matched me.....

I agree with you Short timer but yet I still have a feeling she likes me. I put her off after she showed interest and now I believe she wants to see how bad I want her. That is my gut reaction.
It was more than infatuation. It sort of goes with the saying "Nothing in life worth while comes easy." And she is definitely worth the effort in my book.

My reasons for this are:

She did make eye contact with me once on 10/29 when I saw her last and she had the look of why did you do it. Remember I only stay for 15 minutes and leave. Oh yeah, she did talk with one of the older men as soon as she saw me on 10/29. And he looked over at me. She may have asked if she should speak to me and maybe he told her no not yet.... And I know for a fact she was discussing me.

Plus the smile on her face the first day she spoke with me was like she had just hit the lottery. I am honest with this.... And the biggest but in all of this is she told me her name the time before last. If she had wanted to blow me off she would not have told me her name. That same day she turned her back to me. (On 10/29 she did not turn her back to me.) She would of said I am busy please leave. Believe me I know more how a woman gets rid of a man, more than how she shows interest. I am an expert in how women reject a man. Women do not hesitate in saying how they feel if there is no interest. Ex. The woman who recently told me that it is no bother talking to me when she has nothing else better to do! Believe me I wrote her off and will not bother with her anymore.

And this is no different than a man asking a woman out a dozen times over 6 months and then she finally says yes. Women do not say yes because they give in. They play hard to get. Women loved to be chased. I know that much about the opposite sex.

I was wrong in not going back for 9 days after she first spoke with me. Most of all I did not get her name after I spoke with her.
She appears to be an intelligent woman. And if I offended her she has to vent. Why the fu*k I pissed her off is just do to lack of confidence. A little voice in my head told me she is just being a **** teaser or has a boyfriend. And I listened to it....

As I have said before I have zero other women for prospects at this time. I get confidence in believing she still likes me. The hope with her gives me hope in approaching other women. As odd as this may sound this is the first positive feedback from a woman in years....

I have had women show more interest in me than her (like Sara, the church girl) and then they tell me they have a boyfriend. Or they just stop talking to me. Or they just were being friendly. Again the TV gal has no need to be friendly to me because she does not owe me anything. (she is the same as meeting a woman in a bar, strangers).

What if she has less experience with men than I do with women? She may be as lost as I am in this. As I stated the ones that are real sweet and friendly have a man. Remember, she was asking her older male coworker something regarding me.

I read in a dating book by a psychiatrist that when you turn around and click your heels and walk away, the person will want you even more. Act like you do not need them and they will want you even more. The TV gal is doing exactly this...

Next, I know I fu%ked up with her badly. But I do not get into Philadelphia often because I work in NJ. I have to take time off to see her. I used my time up and that is why I waited so long to go back and see her.

Lastly, I worked with a man about 50. He told me that the first time he saw his wife he knew he would marry her. He told his co-workers and everyone. They did not speak for the next several times. Then he talked with her and he had to pursue her to date him. And after several requests she said sure. He was ready to give up but for some reason he kept on trying. Now, they have been happily married for close to 25 years. He agrees/believes in love at first sight....

I am hoping to stop in and see her next week and just call her over to me. And then mention we could possibly go to dinner or something on the weekend.

If I do not get the chance to visit in person could I email her? And tell her that I am sorry I never gave her my name. And then give her my phone number. And let her take it from there?


see ya,
Frank

 

[echo1212]

Frank since youve become so popular on this forum and lots of us have taken a great interest in your goal to become a dj..perhaps you could post a picture of yourself? That way we could help you in your evaluation and perhaps offer some tips to help with your appearance?

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by echo1212
Frank since youve become so popular on this forum and lots of us have taken a great interest in your goal to become a dj..perhaps you could post a picture of yourself? That way we could help you in your evaluation and perhaps offer some tips to help with your appearance?

What should it be called?

"DJ-eye for the Straight guy"

"DJ-eye for the AFC?"

 

[frankcd]

I know this thread has just taken off. I never ever thought my question back more than two months ago would get such a response.

I will see about the pic.

see ya,
Frank

 

[Walden]

Originally posted by frankcd
I am hoping to stop in and see her next week and just call her over to me. And then mention we could possibly go to dinner or something on the weekend.

If I do not get the chance to visit in person could I email her? And tell her that I am sorry I never gave her my name. And then give her my phone number. And let her take it from there?

If you haven't exchanged names you're probably not going to get the date. However you can exchange names like 5 minutes before and then try and close her , that could work.

 

[crackhead]

MVPlaya,

Yo kid, you don't know me, so don't act like you do

You're 18 man. You have naught the slightest clue about life, nor do you know what you're talking about when advising a 43 year old man to not take my advice about sex leading to confidence.

I am a college graduate, with a nice paying job, living life on my own, sharing my experiences about what having sex with a woman (not a hooker) has done for me.

Your gay little outburst is a joke. Coke messed up my thought-processes???????

Get a clue, son. I have never done cocaine, nor have I ever had sex with a hooker. But I have experienced sex destroying fears of women, so I offered it as a feasible suggestion to a 43 year old man who has hardly ever touched a woman. It seems like pretty solid advice, and I also provided a good example of someone else who shares the same opinion of said scenario... if you chose to read that far.

Also, don't make assumptions based on a person's lack of giving a fvck about typing in complete sentences on a message board.

Checkyoselfforreal, you don't know sh1t

 

[frankcd]

My pic!

http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/frankcd/


I am not a Brad Pitt but yet I do have women notice me. Also, I do not have a gut at all. Just my posture in the picture. I am 5'9" and weigh 152.... Not an ounce of fat on me....

Maybe only the fat between my ears....

What I need is more f'ing confidence.

 

[echo1212]

Wow Frank pleasant surprise. Your not nearly as bad as I thought lol. In fact, you have alot to work with.

The good:
Nice full set of hair
Decently in shape
dress neat
not hideous

The bad:
Hair may need a little reshaping
could definetly be in alot better shape
need to update your wardrobe
lose the cell phone or pager on the belt lol

First-hit the gym and lose your little gut. You have a basic good outline to work with and with some lifting and cardio, you could whip right into shape and have a nice physique. The haircut isnt bad and you have nice hair so maybe you just need to update the style a tad?? A good stylist can help you with that. Your clothing? Needs some help. Go to a hip, reputable clothing store and ask a WOMAN to help pick out some clothes-or the queer guys lol. With your new hairstyle and physique you'll want to help show it off a little more instead of wearing frumpy clothes. And finally--lose the celly on the belt lol. That is soooooo white trash and 80's. Ill listen to what some other posters say and come back with some more suggestions.

 

[echo1212]

-

 

[echo1212]

I think the main thing we need to work on is your physique (too skinny in some places like the shoulders and arms, too out of shape in others like your stomach) and your wardrobe. I'm tellin ya with these small changes we can increase your rating by 2-3 points.

With your face and nice hair, some nice nice long sleeve dress shirts and some turtleneck sweaters would look great on you in the winter time.

 

[frankcd]

Echo1212,

I appreciate the positive eval. I know I am small boned but not in the muscle between my legs thank goodness... I am trying to work on my physique and also get more stylish clothes.

As the ladies say a man can never look to good!


see ya,
Frank

 

[echo1212]

Ok then..no gut-which is good. Then what you really need to work on is bulking up your shoulders, chest, and arms. That would give you a more defined look and it would balance out the rest of your body. I think 175 to 180 pounds would be good for you-so about 25 pounds or so of bulking up-trust me its not that hard. I went from 165 to 205 in less than year, granted im 6 feet tall, but its still should be no problem. Go to the health and fitness section and look at dielels guide to bulking up. Im telling you this would help immensely.

Also, better your posture. Walk straight and tall. Dont slouch. Act like your the man. The more muscle you gain the easier this will become.

 

[rickywilliams]

Echo can do Frank!!!

Why dont we have Echo1212 do a Queer Eye for the Straight guy segment??? Echo1212 is obviously the Queer Eye, for not only does he seem to have a keen fashion sense, but he also enjoys the company of young boys, who he loves to play dress up with, as well as text each other with their homo-erotic adventures!!

 

[echo1212]

Actaully Ricky I do have a cool fashion sense. So thanks for the shout out.

Sad to say though your gonna get spanked hard by my Colts this week. Feel the pain. And whats with the 3.2 yards per carry average this year Ricky? Maybe Griese will help out, but I doubt it Ricky. Or should I say takfer ass.