NewMan
Master Don Juan
3 women is chump change. When you get to 30 then maybe you can moan.
43 year old needs dating advice
- Thread starter frankcd
- Start date
Uniassign, I really admire your fervor and you other guys who are trying to boost my ego. First, I do not have much to offer a woman for my age because I have dated very little and have even less sexual experience. (No woman wants to teach a man my age about sex). Second, I am too old to offer her children. What woman in her right mind wants a man 44 to be the father of our child? (I would be over 50 when the child entered preschool.) Third, at my age I do not have the libido of someone in his 30's. Fourth, the responsiblilty is on me to evaluate the situation if a woman in her 20's is wanting to date me. I have to decide for her if she is mature enough and understands the age difference and that it is not infatuation. Because I will be burned in the long run by divorce if I do not examine the situation in depth. Sure she may be interested in me because she may "assume" I have a huge pile of money but she will be rudely awakened when she finds out I do not. Fifth, just because a woman flirts with me "does not" mean she will date me. I have gotten this far with other women but when they start probing and find out I am nieve, they decide to turn the offer down. (Hence Sara asking me if I had been in a serious relationship. She was 24 but cunning enough to sense something and ask that question). Sixth, of course there are women out there who want to date older men but you have to ask "WHY". Just because she wants to or is interested in me I do not have to oblige.
A couple of close friends and co-workers have advised me not to even bother. One laughed, and said do you plan to adopt her?
It could even hurt my career if I am seen at social functions with a woman who could be my daughter. I am better off stag than with a woman in her 20's attending with me. My managers could possibly have second thoughts about my maturity and common sense.
I could list more than 50 negative reasons if I put the thought into it.
Anyway, I am not going to be able to visit her this Friday (October 17th)and the next time I can get to see her will be October 29th. By then she will already have forgotten about me and have a man to satisfy her desires. Again, she is very attractive and has a smokin body, I am sure she will have no problem. She will manage just fine.
And I really have to ask myself do I want a relationship and for that matter to be married. I have to do some deep thought on this topic and come to a conclusion.
Well as always, I appreciate your feedback....
P.S. I can handle rejection in an office meeting, but when it comes to dating it is an entirely different story for me. And if I asked out 100 women by the end of the year the rejection would still be as painful with number 101.
see ya,
Frank
A couple of close friends and co-workers have advised me not to even bother. One laughed, and said do you plan to adopt her?
It could even hurt my career if I am seen at social functions with a woman who could be my daughter. I am better off stag than with a woman in her 20's attending with me. My managers could possibly have second thoughts about my maturity and common sense.
I could list more than 50 negative reasons if I put the thought into it.
Anyway, I am not going to be able to visit her this Friday (October 17th)and the next time I can get to see her will be October 29th. By then she will already have forgotten about me and have a man to satisfy her desires. Again, she is very attractive and has a smokin body, I am sure she will have no problem. She will manage just fine.
And I really have to ask myself do I want a relationship and for that matter to be married. I have to do some deep thought on this topic and come to a conclusion.
Well as always, I appreciate your feedback....
P.S. I can handle rejection in an office meeting, but when it comes to dating it is an entirely different story for me. And if I asked out 100 women by the end of the year the rejection would still be as painful with number 101.
see ya,
Frank
Cesare Cardinali
Master Don Juan
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Frankcd wrote:
How about putting your mind to something more constructive like listing all the ways you can improve and not be such a pathetic loser? Change your focus bro. All these reasons you're listing are only true if because you're convincing yourself and us that they are true. No chick has to (or should know) any of this information. You can re-invent yourself and let go of all this.
Geez, for a pathetic loser you sure are good at finding excuses as to why you're a pathetic loser. You're very successful at proving beyond a reasonable doubt what a pathetic loser you are. Kuddos to you.
How about putting your mind to something more constructive like listing all the ways you can improve and not be such a pathetic loser? Change your focus bro. All these reasons you're listing are only true if because you're convincing yourself and us that they are true. No chick has to (or should know) any of this information. You can re-invent yourself and let go of all this.
Helter Skelter
Master Don Juan
Frank:
With the length of this thread I think you now qualify as an Attention *****.
What the fuuck is wrong with a woman older than 37?
I know a lot of them are in bad shape at that point, but their are plenty that aren't.
I know this one woman (she's married) she's 43 works out two hours a day avoided the sun her whole life and I guess has good genes but I swear she looks 21. She's hot as shiit too. Forget about the younger girls. With some effort you could find an older woman who has a lot to offer.
Why do they have to be never married?
If it's a religous thing and you meet the right girl.
Fuuck the religion.
God will forgive you.
You can adopt kids if the chick is too old.
Be flexible, not miserable.
Howie Farkes
Don Juan
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It's not rocket science - I wouldn't stress about it. Best advice I can give you is that when you're actually having a sexual experience with someone else you just try to turn off your rational mind and let instinct take over. Mother nature makes sure that all the species know how to procreate - so just use the skills you were given.
You're thinking about 50 steps too far into the future. How about thinking about how to actually get her to want to be naked with you first?
Again, another bridge you shouldn't be worrying about crossing until you get to it.
No! This is NOT your responsibility. That's HER descision, your responsibility to decide whether you are attracted to her or not - that's all.
You're obviously not answering in the correct way. I'll bet you're saying stuff like "No I'm hopeless with women so I haven't had any success what-so-ever." Your past is passed and how you choose to interpret it is all that matters, not the what the facts are. "I haven't loved anybody enough yet" sounds better than "Nobody else loved me enough" Same facts there - no relationship - just a different spin on it.
This makes no sense at all. If ever you're asking yourself "Why does such and such want to date me?" you're already in the wrong frame of mind because all you're subconsciously doing is finding reasons why they shouldn't want to. This just destroys self esteem and for what? - some sh!t you made up in your head. Ya just gotta rejoice in the FACT that they do wanna date you.
Four words - "F*ck what they say." You turn up to any work social function with a 20 something year old chick on your arm they are not going to be thinking "Whoa, look at Mr Immaturity over there." They're gonna thinking "Lucky prick gets to a bone 20 year old while I've just got my wrinkly, nagging, dried up, 50 year old wife to go home to tonight."
Anyway, I don't suppose anything I've said will change your disposition - quite frankly you've been the most determinedly self-demolishing poster I've seen on this site. Get some self-confidence already. You have chicks come into your life and yet you keep snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with a complete lack of belief in yourself.
Mate, you will go NOWHERE with that attitude. No woman will EVER be in a relationship with you if you don't first LOVE yourself. Reading what you are writing depress me. Surely everyone on this earth is better at something than everyone else. Surely I can learn something from everybody, even if it is the littliest thing.
First, I do not have much to offer a woman for my age because I have dated very little and have even less sexual experience. (No woman wants to teach a man my age about sex).
Look, I understand that you lack sexual experience and this is what you perceive as a "disadvantage" when it comes to getting women. There are books for that. There are techniques that you can learn. Believe me sexual experience is the least of your worries when it comes to getting chicks.
Second, I am too old to offer her children. What woman in her right mind wants a man 44 to be the father of our child? (I would be over 50 when the child entered preschool.)
Irrelevant. This is an EXCUSE you made yourself in order to justify the fact that you dont' want to put any effort into making this work for you.
Fourth, the responsiblilty is on me to evaluate the situation if a woman in her 20's is wanting to date me. I have to decide for her if she is mature enough and understands the age difference and that it is not infatuation.
You are treating dating and seduction as a serious business. It is NOT. It is meant to be fun. A process that is meant to be enjoyed. Enjoy the girl for who she is, don't analyse about maturity, age difference and whether it is love, infatuation or lust.
Develop some skills in getting girls AND THEN you can have your pick. Right now, just learn and don't be so picky. Use every opportunity as practice.
You are looking for a long term thing from the word GO. That's the wrong approach and chicks smell that desperatism right off the bat. Work on having fun with the girl, and if anything long term develops, then worry about marriage compatibility etc. Work on getting heaps of chicks and you will get good at getting one chick.
Rejection is the key. Trust me on this. The more you get rejected, the less it is going to hurt.
Look Frank I want to help you, but I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. From now on I only want to see positive posts from you ok?
First, I do not have much to offer a woman for my age because I have dated very little and have even less sexual experience. (No woman wants to teach a man my age about sex).
Look, I understand that you lack sexual experience and this is what you perceive as a "disadvantage" when it comes to getting women. There are books for that. There are techniques that you can learn. Believe me sexual experience is the least of your worries when it comes to getting chicks.
Second, I am too old to offer her children. What woman in her right mind wants a man 44 to be the father of our child? (I would be over 50 when the child entered preschool.)
Irrelevant. This is an EXCUSE you made yourself in order to justify the fact that you dont' want to put any effort into making this work for you.
Fourth, the responsiblilty is on me to evaluate the situation if a woman in her 20's is wanting to date me. I have to decide for her if she is mature enough and understands the age difference and that it is not infatuation.
You are treating dating and seduction as a serious business. It is NOT. It is meant to be fun. A process that is meant to be enjoyed. Enjoy the girl for who she is, don't analyse about maturity, age difference and whether it is love, infatuation or lust.
Develop some skills in getting girls AND THEN you can have your pick. Right now, just learn and don't be so picky. Use every opportunity as practice.
You are looking for a long term thing from the word GO. That's the wrong approach and chicks smell that desperatism right off the bat. Work on having fun with the girl, and if anything long term develops, then worry about marriage compatibility etc. Work on getting heaps of chicks and you will get good at getting one chick.
Rejection is the key. Trust me on this. The more you get rejected, the less it is going to hurt.
Look Frank I want to help you, but I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. From now on I only want to see positive posts from you ok?
Falcon Eye
Don Juan
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Frank you're 44 years old, why do you even consider hooking up with women who are in their twenties.? What could you possibly have in common with them? Forget the twenty-something girls Frank.
You need to be looking for women in the thirty-five to fifty-five age group, of which there are a lot. There are thousands of them around frank; divorced women, widows, and maybe never married women. Women these days take good care of themselves at this age, and you'll have a hell of a lot more in common with them then you will some twenty-four year old.
Life is short Frank, and then your dead for a long time, get out there and enjoy it while you can.
Howie Farkes
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Where do you get off telling him what age women he should be attracted to. If some 20 something year old wants to be with him whats the problem?
Exactly, and you're only as old as the girl you're feeling. Look women in their twenties are adult enough to know whether they want to be seen with a 40 year guy. Man, I don't want my options closed to me when I'm his age. And I especially don't want to be considering women 10-11 years older than me when I'm middle aged.
Falcon Eye
Don Juan
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I'm not telling him what age he should be attracted to; hell I see lots of twenty something girls that are very attractive, that doesn't mean that I have a hell of a lot in common with them.
Frank seems to want a relationship with a women and he's got problems with confidence as it is. I just feel that he should put himself in the best possible position for success. It seems to me that that would be to look for women in his own age group.
When and if he becomes Mr. Confidence then sure, try to bag a few younger ones. But in following this thread, I just don't feel that it's realistic for him to be looking for girls twenty years his junior at this juncture in his life. Just my opinion of course.
Frank you've gotta lotta "weak" excuses.
A few problems / reasons holding you back are,
1. You respect women too much. You have a romanticized impression of relationships and women in general. You put them on pedastals because of your lack of "experience" as you put it.
Hey, you've talked to enough of them. They're all just normal people.
2. You're religious, which just adds to your respect for women, along with the manners that go along with being religious. You hold sex / marriage in high regard, when they are merely things everyone does and means little.
Also because you're religious, you don't realize the value of life. You think there is life after death. But think of another 15 -30 years. When you're all alone, and wonder if there is life after death. You're lonely and sad. Full of regrets but no time to make a change. You only live once, rejection means nothing. To succeed in anything, rejection is inevitable.
Now's the time to make a change, not in another 30 years.
A few problems / reasons holding you back are,
1. You respect women too much. You have a romanticized impression of relationships and women in general. You put them on pedastals because of your lack of "experience" as you put it.
Hey, you've talked to enough of them. They're all just normal people.
2. You're religious, which just adds to your respect for women, along with the manners that go along with being religious. You hold sex / marriage in high regard, when they are merely things everyone does and means little.
Also because you're religious, you don't realize the value of life. You think there is life after death. But think of another 15 -30 years. When you're all alone, and wonder if there is life after death. You're lonely and sad. Full of regrets but no time to make a change. You only live once, rejection means nothing. To succeed in anything, rejection is inevitable.
Now's the time to make a change, not in another 30 years.
Hello All,
I went to see my friend today (Oct 17th) since I just had to see if the flame was still there for me. I had seen her last on October 8th.
When I went into the studio she gave me a look like "oh, it is you!" She did not make eye contact or for that matter look my way. I did try talking with her but it seemed like I was pulling teeth. I said I saw your name on the credits for the show. I said you are the producer and she goes no, I am Kathleen and my name is in the credits. Then her friend came over to get her like she was saving her from me. The fact she told me her name makes me grateful she does not feel I am a stalker.
Then the next 15 minutes she just had her back to me. But she was standing about 5 feet in front of me. I got the feeling she was sending a mental message "looky at what you missed" and she does have a "delightful" bottom and body.
I am not sure if it is worth going back again. She blew me off.....
The past posts I have read told me you have to strike while the chance is there. Maybe if I see her at the end of October when I visit the city again she will have chilled and be more friendly again.
But from the way I was treated today, I do get the feeling she liked me. I guess I insulted her by not acting on her advances last time I saw her.
Have to think it over...
see ya,
Frank
I went to see my friend today (Oct 17th) since I just had to see if the flame was still there for me. I had seen her last on October 8th.
When I went into the studio she gave me a look like "oh, it is you!" She did not make eye contact or for that matter look my way. I did try talking with her but it seemed like I was pulling teeth. I said I saw your name on the credits for the show. I said you are the producer and she goes no, I am Kathleen and my name is in the credits. Then her friend came over to get her like she was saving her from me. The fact she told me her name makes me grateful she does not feel I am a stalker.
Then the next 15 minutes she just had her back to me. But she was standing about 5 feet in front of me. I got the feeling she was sending a mental message "looky at what you missed" and she does have a "delightful" bottom and body.
I am not sure if it is worth going back again. She blew me off.....
The past posts I have read told me you have to strike while the chance is there. Maybe if I see her at the end of October when I visit the city again she will have chilled and be more friendly again.
But from the way I was treated today, I do get the feeling she liked me. I guess I insulted her by not acting on her advances last time I saw her.
Have to think it over...
see ya,
Frank
Frank, I'm sorry. She's not into you. Its best to try and not make up things about a girl and what theyre thinking or doing. If she was into-you would have known it clearly. Move on and go after someone you get clear buying signals from. There out there. YOu can do it my friend.
Frank,
You're killing us. It hurts to read this thread.
That producer woman, forget about her. Don't hope that she chills out in a month. Move on. The chance was lost. Learn from that situation and use it the next time you are talking to a beautiful woman. Remember to ask her what her name is next time. Shake her hand and tell her your name. It's easy! If she is yapping on about something, just interrupt her and say, "BTW, what's your name?" That right there has to be the begining of any connection.
Also, try to treat women like they are your little sister. Make fun of them and aggravate them. Have fun. Then take it to the next level.
Hell, you can't change overnight! This site has helped me tremendously!! It has taken time, though. A few years ago I was not good at talking to women at all. At all! Now I look forward to it. Even if I'm not interested in her, I still like to talk with her. My skills have improved substantially, too. For instance: there is a pretty Russian girl in my class. I've chatted with her a few times, but the converstation was a little difficult. Her body language was good, but she wasn't reciprocating the conversation very well(she seemed shy). So earlier I was talking to her and I was determined to open her up a little. I was asking her "what, why" questions, etc. I was asking her things that put her on the spot and made her think. Eventually I found something that she loved and wanted to talk about. Holy shyt! She didn't shut up after that.
A couple of years ago I couldn't have done that. I probably wouldn't have even tried to talk to her in the first place. I can't tell you how many times I didn't talk to a woman when I wished I had. I swear never to make that mistake again.
Frank, the same thing will happen to you if you give it time. Read everything on this friggin' site. Read it 8 times if you have to! I promise it will make you change. My example above was pretty bland, but it was just a simple example. Much, much greater things happen.
By being here, you are ALREADY on the road to change! After 20 years of being lost, and never asking for directions, you found this site, which is the roadmap with all the RIGHT directions! It's all here, Frank. It's laid out in front of you. Just put on your driving gloves and follow the damn signs!
And, stop worrying about your age! My grandfather was 60 when my dad was born. And my grandmother was almost 30 years younger than my grandfather. Big deal. It's not the age of the body that matters, it's the age of the mind!
Damn you, don't let us down. Everyone here is pulling for you.
There's is nothing more that can really be said. You have a thread with 7 pages of good advice. If you start to follow it, you will have success.
You're killing us. It hurts to read this thread.
That producer woman, forget about her. Don't hope that she chills out in a month. Move on. The chance was lost. Learn from that situation and use it the next time you are talking to a beautiful woman. Remember to ask her what her name is next time. Shake her hand and tell her your name. It's easy! If she is yapping on about something, just interrupt her and say, "BTW, what's your name?" That right there has to be the begining of any connection.
Also, try to treat women like they are your little sister. Make fun of them and aggravate them. Have fun. Then take it to the next level.
Hell, you can't change overnight! This site has helped me tremendously!! It has taken time, though. A few years ago I was not good at talking to women at all. At all! Now I look forward to it. Even if I'm not interested in her, I still like to talk with her. My skills have improved substantially, too. For instance: there is a pretty Russian girl in my class. I've chatted with her a few times, but the converstation was a little difficult. Her body language was good, but she wasn't reciprocating the conversation very well(she seemed shy). So earlier I was talking to her and I was determined to open her up a little. I was asking her "what, why" questions, etc. I was asking her things that put her on the spot and made her think. Eventually I found something that she loved and wanted to talk about. Holy shyt! She didn't shut up after that.
A couple of years ago I couldn't have done that. I probably wouldn't have even tried to talk to her in the first place. I can't tell you how many times I didn't talk to a woman when I wished I had. I swear never to make that mistake again.
Frank, the same thing will happen to you if you give it time. Read everything on this friggin' site. Read it 8 times if you have to! I promise it will make you change. My example above was pretty bland, but it was just a simple example. Much, much greater things happen.
By being here, you are ALREADY on the road to change! After 20 years of being lost, and never asking for directions, you found this site, which is the roadmap with all the RIGHT directions! It's all here, Frank. It's laid out in front of you. Just put on your driving gloves and follow the damn signs!
And, stop worrying about your age! My grandfather was 60 when my dad was born. And my grandmother was almost 30 years younger than my grandfather. Big deal. It's not the age of the body that matters, it's the age of the mind!
Damn you, don't let us down. Everyone here is pulling for you.
There's is nothing more that can really be said. You have a thread with 7 pages of good advice. If you start to follow it, you will have success.
Well what can I do to have a ray of hope to shoot for? She did like me, this last one, I could tell by the look in her eyes when she saw me. But again, since I moved like the turtle she just decided to move on. If you say the flame is snuffed out then I will move on to another. But you have to remember I do not get many opportunities so maybe I should try and salvage the ones I have.
I am not using my age as an excuse but I am 44.
And I do find myself getting more anxious and worried with every passing day.
If it hurts to read this thread, than you should be in my shoes for one day and see what I go through. I have doubts that are probably irrational but I still have them. Sometimes I just look at a woman and I will think to myself I have no chance. Then I just forget her. And of the 1 in a 100 that I see a chance I end up messing up.
Don't get me wrong, I chatted with a few women today and it was fun. But that is as far as I can get. (Then the negative thoughts start happening) The woman in church, the second time I saw her we exchanged names and I shook her hand. (I fought the negative vibes for the first time in maybe two years). (Sara was just a kid, and everything about that situation was wrong. I read more into it that then was there.) Then, back to the church woman, I did something, whether it was I took to long or who knows, that she gave me the look of death the last time I saw her.
I have two sisters one younger and older, both are happily married. So I have been around women a major portion of my life.
And my younger sister could have been a Victoria Secret model, trust me...
P.S. I read that when you act like you do not need someone that they will want you more. And it is true, because when the producer woman turned her back to me I was determined to find out why. I wanted to talk with her more since she acted like she did not need me.
Again, I promise I will not apologize to any women for what I may think I did wrong. But I do have to take some blame if I did act like a fool or jackass. And by having to get enough balls to apologize, maybe that will make me realize it is easier to do it right the first time.
see ya,
Frank
I am not using my age as an excuse but I am 44.
And I do find myself getting more anxious and worried with every passing day.
If it hurts to read this thread, than you should be in my shoes for one day and see what I go through. I have doubts that are probably irrational but I still have them. Sometimes I just look at a woman and I will think to myself I have no chance. Then I just forget her. And of the 1 in a 100 that I see a chance I end up messing up.
Don't get me wrong, I chatted with a few women today and it was fun. But that is as far as I can get. (Then the negative thoughts start happening) The woman in church, the second time I saw her we exchanged names and I shook her hand. (I fought the negative vibes for the first time in maybe two years). (Sara was just a kid, and everything about that situation was wrong. I read more into it that then was there.) Then, back to the church woman, I did something, whether it was I took to long or who knows, that she gave me the look of death the last time I saw her.
I have two sisters one younger and older, both are happily married. So I have been around women a major portion of my life.
And my younger sister could have been a Victoria Secret model, trust me...
P.S. I read that when you act like you do not need someone that they will want you more. And it is true, because when the producer woman turned her back to me I was determined to find out why. I wanted to talk with her more since she acted like she did not need me.
Again, I promise I will not apologize to any women for what I may think I did wrong. But I do have to take some blame if I did act like a fool or jackass. And by having to get enough balls to apologize, maybe that will make me realize it is easier to do it right the first time.
see ya,
Frank
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Lo Hung Wang
Don Juan
Well maybe its time to start hanging out with other single guys. You know, learn some pickup skills here and there, go pack hunting. Even just discuss female psche or possible approaches. Find a miniture support group for your pursuits. Think of it as your "base of operations". When you fail your mission, you always return to base and start a new one. Infact, this board is alot like that.
This is an "I wish" statement. Wishing never helped anyone. You don't wait for a "ray of hope" to carry you away - women do that and even when they get it they aren't happy. The more you "wish" for change, The more you'l plumet into a helpless existance. Wishing robs you of your action-power.
Allow me to put things into perspective. Your good at pointing out your weakness. Which also means you must be good at pointing out your strengths. Because it is a strength itself to be able to identify your weakness. But if you don't take action, then you render that skill useless. i.e. your turn your strength into a weakness.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Only you two know if the flame is snuffed. Are you telling us everything? Did you do or say anything weird around her? It's odd that she would "next" you just because you didn't instantly pounce. Most women would still treat you as a friend after you blew your chance, if you did have a chance to begin with.
I know it's easy for us to say "next her," but it's probably the best advice since we are not emotionally involved.
If you see her again, and you are determined to make her swoon, confront her with all the knowledge of this site. But, honestly, it may be best to forget her.
That's understandable. But remeber you have a long time left. You have many more fresh starts, if you want them.
You're right. What can I say?
You have time to change.
Every guy has thought that at one time. I thought that about some beautiful women I've seen. But now, I really believe I have a chance with any woman. ANY woman would be lucky to know me(That isn't some DJ way of pumping myself up. I know I am unique and have a great deal to offer). I didn't always think this way. It took time. It will take time with you.
About messing it up: Do you remember every time you screwed up? Now think about what you will do next time in a similar situation and apply what you have learned here. You will get smoother and make less mistakes.
Why the negative thoughts? There are posts in the "bible," I believe, which talk about imagining the BEST outcome. Do a search and try to find that.
What did you do that freaked her? Something seems strange. Are you telling us everything? Women are strange indeed, but they will usually treat you friendly if you've treated them similarly. What did you talk about with her. Can you go into more detail about this?
And you shouldn't apologize. But what are you doing to feel guilt? You obviously feel you need to apologize for something. What is it? Give us details. Can you paraphrase one of your conversations for us?
Well, let me see my friends. I first saw the TV gal about maybe 8 weeks ago. I just happened to go into the studio because I was following a young woman who was wearing a tee shirt I liked. I was talking to this woman when I noticed the TV gal. We made eye contact for what seemed like an unusually long time. Then I said I am leaving to the woman in the tee shirt and left.
To be honest when I saw the TV gal for the first time I all most immediately had the thought I have no chance. She was younger and very attractive.
Then I stopped in the studio the next week and for I guess 3 additional weeks. Each time I saw the TV gal and she would just look at me. Then on the 6th visit to the studio I noticed the TV gal was talking about me to another two women. Then the women looked over at me. And then TV gal turned her head and gave me a big smile and her eyes lit up. Then the next time I went in she was standing about 15 feet from me talking with a man. She moved her way toward me while talking with the man and ended up maybe 5/6 feet from me. Then the man walked away and she was standing sideways to me. So, as I said I blurted out what work do you do here? She turned and smiled and told me her job. I asked her if she liked it and she said yes. The whole time she was talking she was staring at me. I broke the eye contact and then looked at her again. Maybe we talked for a minute. She ended the conversation because she was at work and smiled and walked off. Then I asked her another question and she smiled at me and answered. Then about 5 minutes later I left. No, we did not exchange names.
Then the last time I went in which was 9 days later she noticed me walk in and she just looked at me but was not smiling.
Then I attempted to make conversation by saying I saw her name in the credits. I thought her name was another name in the credits. She stopped and then looked at me and walked off.
Then again I got her attention and she told me her name and that it is also in the credits. We were talking for maybe 15 seconds. I wanted to give her my name and then her friend walked up and said excuse me. Then they walked away.
The rest of the time I was there she seemed to avoid me. She did not look at me and then turned her back to me. And I walked by her to leave and she did not turn or look.
I seriously believe she liked me by the look she gave me and the way she made an effort to talk with me. Maybe she did not like me in the sense of dating, or maybe she was being nice because she thought I liked her, I am not sure. But I really believe that my mistake was leaving before getting her name the week before and then going back 9 days later. She most likely got steamed during that time and decided to blow me off.
Anyway I will not be able to stop in again until 10/29. And it maybe two weeks after 10/29 before I would see her again. So, I have to make contact on 10/29 or it is dead. Plus, I want to go 10/29 to see her reaction when she sees me.
She would not of told me her name if she was afraid of me.
Do not know what to make of what transpired.... And this is truthfully all that I said. Maybe in all I said two dozen words to her in the 8 weeks I have seen her. All that was discussed was her job. Possibly she was just being respectful because she noticed I was older but why all the smiles and walking up to me.
Maybe she is even younger than I first thought. At the most she is 26, maybe she is only 21 and looks older.
I am NOT an expert with women. But I do know that women do not; turn toward you, smile, approach you and converse unless they are interested. This is a mystery.
But I am still seeking the feedback of the forum regarding the TV gal. Of course I appreciate the feedback so far from advice to read the DJ bible and other comments.
P.S. A man who is the author of relationship/dating books found this post and emailed me. He told me, have a positive outcome in starting a relationship and he will write about me in his next book. I am 100% truthful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He told me that in his "expert" opinion the TV gal is still a go.
See ya,
Frank
To be honest when I saw the TV gal for the first time I all most immediately had the thought I have no chance. She was younger and very attractive.
Then I stopped in the studio the next week and for I guess 3 additional weeks. Each time I saw the TV gal and she would just look at me. Then on the 6th visit to the studio I noticed the TV gal was talking about me to another two women. Then the women looked over at me. And then TV gal turned her head and gave me a big smile and her eyes lit up. Then the next time I went in she was standing about 15 feet from me talking with a man. She moved her way toward me while talking with the man and ended up maybe 5/6 feet from me. Then the man walked away and she was standing sideways to me. So, as I said I blurted out what work do you do here? She turned and smiled and told me her job. I asked her if she liked it and she said yes. The whole time she was talking she was staring at me. I broke the eye contact and then looked at her again. Maybe we talked for a minute. She ended the conversation because she was at work and smiled and walked off. Then I asked her another question and she smiled at me and answered. Then about 5 minutes later I left. No, we did not exchange names.
Then the last time I went in which was 9 days later she noticed me walk in and she just looked at me but was not smiling.
Then I attempted to make conversation by saying I saw her name in the credits. I thought her name was another name in the credits. She stopped and then looked at me and walked off.
Then again I got her attention and she told me her name and that it is also in the credits. We were talking for maybe 15 seconds. I wanted to give her my name and then her friend walked up and said excuse me. Then they walked away.
The rest of the time I was there she seemed to avoid me. She did not look at me and then turned her back to me. And I walked by her to leave and she did not turn or look.
I seriously believe she liked me by the look she gave me and the way she made an effort to talk with me. Maybe she did not like me in the sense of dating, or maybe she was being nice because she thought I liked her, I am not sure. But I really believe that my mistake was leaving before getting her name the week before and then going back 9 days later. She most likely got steamed during that time and decided to blow me off.
Anyway I will not be able to stop in again until 10/29. And it maybe two weeks after 10/29 before I would see her again. So, I have to make contact on 10/29 or it is dead. Plus, I want to go 10/29 to see her reaction when she sees me.
She would not of told me her name if she was afraid of me.
Do not know what to make of what transpired.... And this is truthfully all that I said. Maybe in all I said two dozen words to her in the 8 weeks I have seen her. All that was discussed was her job. Possibly she was just being respectful because she noticed I was older but why all the smiles and walking up to me.
Maybe she is even younger than I first thought. At the most she is 26, maybe she is only 21 and looks older.
I am NOT an expert with women. But I do know that women do not; turn toward you, smile, approach you and converse unless they are interested. This is a mystery.
But I am still seeking the feedback of the forum regarding the TV gal. Of course I appreciate the feedback so far from advice to read the DJ bible and other comments.
P.S. A man who is the author of relationship/dating books found this post and emailed me. He told me, have a positive outcome in starting a relationship and he will write about me in his next book. I am 100% truthful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He told me that in his "expert" opinion the TV gal is still a go.
See ya,
Frank
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Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Out of curiosity, what advice did he offer?
As far as the advice the author gave me, here it is:
____________________________________________________
Let's get past the bullsh#t here. You've written in the forum about what a failure you are and why you just can't reach your goals. There is only one reason why any of this is true: it's your attitude. You've allowed yourself the luxury of being a failure so that you can feel sorry for yourself and hope that others do too. I don't work this way. In fact, you've taken the pus*y's way out.
Now, don't write telling me all the failures you've had in your life as though that's a reason why you can't succeed. That's just crap - a total cop-out, and an absolving of your responsibilities to yourself. The fact is you can succeed with this woman - or any other if you just decide you want to. But that means you're going to have to bite the bullet and get educated. You're going to have to accept responsibility for your success - and your failure, because believe me: it's only YOU that causes either. You might be "special" and "unique" but you aren't so special or unique that you can fail every single time - unless YOU set yourself up for it. Believe me, I see this happen every single day for guys much worse off than you - they cut the crap, grow up and start winning.
Frank, it's tough to be successful, but it's by far tougher to be a failure - especially when you finally realize that either is entirely up to you. Nobody outside of yourself has anything to do with this. YOU make the decisions to avoid education. YOU put yourself out there without help to get tromped on, and YOU revel in the pain YOU cause YOURSELF. But then, it's also YOU that has to decide YOU'VE had enough and are going to move past this.
Don't write again with your perceived failures. I'm not going to nurture that inner child of yours. Instead, I'm going to kick it's little as*. Start yourself on the road you really want - one of success with women. THEN we'll have something worthwhile to write about. I'll even put your story in my next book - but only if YOU do the work!
Do not think I am upset because I am not in the least. I'm just not going to let you get away with making excuses. You deserve better and frankly, so do I.
Get to that 180 degree turn - there's a whole world of women just waiting to meet the Frank you can become.
____________________________________________________
There you have it!
See ya,
Frank
____________________________________________________
Let's get past the bullsh#t here. You've written in the forum about what a failure you are and why you just can't reach your goals. There is only one reason why any of this is true: it's your attitude. You've allowed yourself the luxury of being a failure so that you can feel sorry for yourself and hope that others do too. I don't work this way. In fact, you've taken the pus*y's way out.
Now, don't write telling me all the failures you've had in your life as though that's a reason why you can't succeed. That's just crap - a total cop-out, and an absolving of your responsibilities to yourself. The fact is you can succeed with this woman - or any other if you just decide you want to. But that means you're going to have to bite the bullet and get educated. You're going to have to accept responsibility for your success - and your failure, because believe me: it's only YOU that causes either. You might be "special" and "unique" but you aren't so special or unique that you can fail every single time - unless YOU set yourself up for it. Believe me, I see this happen every single day for guys much worse off than you - they cut the crap, grow up and start winning.
Frank, it's tough to be successful, but it's by far tougher to be a failure - especially when you finally realize that either is entirely up to you. Nobody outside of yourself has anything to do with this. YOU make the decisions to avoid education. YOU put yourself out there without help to get tromped on, and YOU revel in the pain YOU cause YOURSELF. But then, it's also YOU that has to decide YOU'VE had enough and are going to move past this.
Don't write again with your perceived failures. I'm not going to nurture that inner child of yours. Instead, I'm going to kick it's little as*. Start yourself on the road you really want - one of success with women. THEN we'll have something worthwhile to write about. I'll even put your story in my next book - but only if YOU do the work!
Do not think I am upset because I am not in the least. I'm just not going to let you get away with making excuses. You deserve better and frankly, so do I.
Get to that 180 degree turn - there's a whole world of women just waiting to meet the Frank you can become.
____________________________________________________
There you have it!
See ya,
Frank
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meh
Don Juan
Who was this dating expert? It wasn't DeAngelo was it?
